When the door shuts behind him and he feels it end.

Still, he wants to lie to himself. He almost keeps on walking but instead he turns back on his heel and walks into the room with a smile.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I said that.”

He does though; he knows exactly why he said it. He thinks he is beginning to hate her.

He hates her forever love. He hates that every time she looks at him he knows he can never live up to it. He hates that she makes him a bastard for not being able to give her the same.

How can someone live up to the image of a man that is worth waiting five years for? He left and she waited. When he showed up at the door after all that time away he felt like turning right around and leaving again. She was still waiting for him. She wasn’t angry or bitter. She understood why he had to go, she forgave him. She always forgives him.

He left so she could be happy and have her childhood, but he came back to find he had taken it all the same. He hadn’t been dreaming of her while he was gone. He had been living. He had expected nothing less from her.

But now he smiles at her and waits for her to forgive him again, just like she always does.

And when she doesn’t smile back panic swells up in him. She won’t look at him; she hasn’t since he left the room slamming the door behind him. She has moved either. She hasn’t even bothered to cover up. The blanket is still around her waist and her clothes are still all around the room where he threw them. Her mouth is still red from their kisses. It hasn’t even been minutes since he was in the bed with her but somehow it seems like years. He’s not sure what to say to fix this.

Her face starts to blur before his eyes and he realizes he forgot to breathe. His whole world is focused on what she will say that when she does speak he misses it.

“What?”

“I can’t do this.”

“Why?”

“I am not in love with you anymore.”

“Since when?”

“Now.”

And just like that it was gone. What he couldn’t manage to do in years he had done in seconds. Relief should come soon, but instead he thinks he’s never been more of a fool.