She woke quickly from her sleep with a sudden jerk. Sweat and tears poured down her face soaking her pillow as she struggled to catch her breath. Heat radiated from beside her burning at her flesh, she rolled over moving away from the warmth and opened her eyes to find a red light shining brightly in her eyes.

The red beacon beeped quietly beside her. The X-Men version of the bat signal was calling her home; she would have laughed at that comparison if she wasn't so tired. God, she moaned, what time was it? She riffled through the stuff and read her cell.

"Jesus, 2 a.m. I fell asleep again."

She rolled onto her stomach and groaned into her pillow, this was not going to be good. She was really in for it this time. She quickly glanced around the room to remember where exactly she was this time and it all came back to her as the mattress creaked beside her. He was waking up and she knew she had better make her exit before he tried to stop her. She slowly slipped from underneath his arm replacing her body with her pillow in his hold. That should give her a few minutes at the least before he realized she was gone.

Her fingers blindly ran over the floor before finding a pile of clothes, quickly dressing she paused in putting on her skirt to scan for her shirt. Finding its location she stopped to write him a note, grabbing his cowboy hat and her shoes from their place beside the door. She looked back at him and she quietly walked back to place a kiss lightly on his mouth before turning to retreat back to the exit. His hand fell on her arm and their eyes met. She immediately began studying the pattern of the sheets with her nails.

"You leaving?"

"Yeah I'm late and if I don't get there soon they are gonna kill me, you know how they are, sorry to wake you up."

"You coming back?"

"No."

Pain flashed in his eyes and as soon as it appeared it was gone. Guilt and regret swelled up in her heart as she felt the effects of her decision first hand. She had wanted to replace Logan in her life. He seemed like a good contender, he was rebellious, strong, dangerous, and volatile but most importantly he wanted her. She thought that that would be enough. They had vowed not to let emotions cloud this relationship, to screw up what they had. But soon she realized that was a promise nobody could make, not even her heartless killer. Then she had told herself that he was enough for her, that she could make herself be happy with him.

But know she knew she was wrong. He was fiery and passionate all that she longed so desperately for Logan to be, but it wasn't enough. In every dream of the future it wasn't him she saw.

And they didn't have the time or the patience for her to get over her hero worship of another man. Even though Magneto's group had broken up long ago after his second capture there was a murmur in the street that they were heading back together soon. She knew that this was the last time they could meet so easily. He had spent most of last night pleading with her to come along with him. He had finally given up in defeat after hours of tears and screams and she fallen asleep in his arms.

He smiled at her now as he put his hat on her and laughed as it sunk down over her eyebrows.

"One day John, you are gonna have to tell me about you sudden obsession with blue jeans and snake boots."

He grinned at her and whispered, "Maybe it is all just a hint at my past another one of my childhood cripples or maybe I liked how you screamed as you rode this cowboy."

Her mouth dropped open in shock and she playfully pushed at him. "God you still haven't grown up have you? That was one of the most cheesy lines I have every heard. You must have just been waiting for the perfect time to let that one slip."

"Hey, it's now or never." He laughed but the sound died immediately in the dark at the truth behind those words.

His fingers flickered around nervously not knowing what to do with themselves without their lighter to calm them so instead they moved to touch the silver strands of her hair that framed her face. She leaned into his hand and finally met his eye. "I hope he knows what he has in you."

"You know he doesn't." She sighed and kissed the palm of his hand. "I had fun, you know. I really did."

"But not enough." John grabbed her face and held her close. "If you ever get tired of waiting, find me okay?" When she nodded into his neck he let her go.

And with another kiss he watched as she rushed out of the room.

It was raining softly outside so she just stood there and let it run down her face her neck her arms, begging it to wash away her sins.

---

Logan was pacing the floor, slowly wearing circles in its wood panels and making everyone dizzy.

"Logan, please she will be here any second, all of your spinning is giving me a headache." Storm mumbled from underneath her arm as she leaned back in the chair waiting for Rogue to make her grand entrance.

A growl erupted from her throat as his glare again settled upon the clock. "Where the hell could she be at 3 in the fucking morning!"

"I think we all know where she could be Logan, she not our little girl any longer. She is almost 25 now Logan and its about time you realize that or you are gonna be in for one rude awakening"

Logan would have screamed out that very moment in frustration if not for the fact that that was the exact moment that Rogue choose to step in.

Her clothes were wrinkled, water dripped down from her rebellious locks of hair hidden under a huge cowboy hat. "So, I am here let's get to it then."

Though her voice was cheery her eyes were bloodshot. She looked so tired and devastated that all of Logan's anger was gone in an instant. He just sat down quickly watching her come into the room and talk to the professor. She smelled of him and it took all of his self-control to stop himself from growling at the realization.

After Charles had finished his briefing he let everyone go for a much-needed rest before they would leave in the morning. Jubilee pranced over to Rogue tapping at her hat and winking slyly. "So what's with the hat girl, I didn't know that you were into Line Dancing and Red-Neck crooners."

A blush graced her face as she squirmed under Logan's gaze. "I'm not and don't ask."

"Well, I think we had better meet this man that keeps you up so late at night. It's been months now with not a word." She teased pulling her away from Logan in hopes that the distance would help her shyness. "Come on, I want to hear about the guy who put that smile on your face and those dark circles under your eyes!"

But she merely stiffened and replied, "It doesn't matter anymore, he's leaving in the morning."

Jubilee raised an eyebrow and let it pass when she saw she would not win this now. "Oh okay girl, if you say so."

"Yeah, I say so, come on lets raid the fridge for some beers and I'll grab me a shower before we head out to the porch, I know that is the only way I will get any sleep tonight."

Logan hid in the shadows as the girls laughed and gossiped over the entwining lives of all their friends. They wondered aloud what they would dare admit to later like how most of the X-Men men had really good pornonames. But when they wandered on to the topic of how blue and furry Beast really was Logan decided it was time to tune them out and think on other things. John's smell was gone from her leaving only a whisper of the Jasmine soap she always used. With it gone his muscles could finally relax in his neck, he could finally almost let go of the feeling that someone was stealing his life. He shook his head free of that thought and just focused on her smell soon though Rogue turned and ushered him out of the shadows.

"Come on Logan, Jubes has been out for about half an hour now, god she is such a light weight." Logan moved out beside her and waited as she lit a match watching burn to her fingers before she blew it out. She dropped the dead wood and grabbed another. "You know Logan, I think I might finally understand your fascination with the color red." She let the fire burn closer to her fingers before extinguishing it letting the stick drop into her empty bottle. She cleaned up the remaining burned out matches, shoving them into the bottle twirling them around and letting the sound fill the air before venturing a look at him. "So much passion and intensity that it distracts from the truth, from the pain."

"Marie, what were you doing with him, he's nothing but trouble. John would only...."

"Don't start Logan. He's gone now and I couldn't stand another lecture right now. If you start off by telling me 'I told you so' I swear I will scream." She said forcing out a laugh to lighten the mood. "Besides, I wasn't in it for the long haul anyways. I always new he could never do what he was told."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, I told him not to fall in love with me but he did it anyways, that damn fool." And when Logan couldn't hide his shock she added, "My heart belongs to another."

Logan cleared his throat, "Marie, I."

"I am not asking for forever, I am asking for now," she whispered leaning in to kiss him. When she pulled back she listened for his answer.

"Marie, I. I don't think I have had quite that many beers yet." She laughed out loud and handed him the remainder of the box.

"How about five more, will that do?" Coward.

"It just might."