“I’ll come back for these,” he had whispered before walking out of her life. She had believed him, had wanted to believe that it wouldn’t be too long before he did, had hoped that, when he did return, he would see her in a different way.

She smiled as she let her fingers wrap around the cooling metal in her hands. She would wear them until he kept his promise, until he returned for them. And maybe he would keep his other promise, too. Maybe he would take care of her.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It was supposed to be a simple mission. Just a quick pick up of a child. The girl didn’t trust easily, especially not anyone who showed any kind of authority. It was deemed better if the junior team went alone, without the supervision of the others. Why not? The majority of them were eighteen. So they set off happily, looking forward to have some time away from the ever watchful eyes of the adults. The six of them looked forward to the ride.

Xavier had been hesitant at first, but Rogue was able to persuade him into chalking it up as a bonding experiment. He chuckled at that, but gave his ok. Letting him know that he understood that they just wanted some time away.

They took a school van with them, the drive only lasting eight hours. They never made it.

About half way there, Kitty spotted a young man in his early twenties standing by the side of the road, examining a car that seemed to be smoking from under the hood. “Can we stop and help him?”

“Kitty!” Bobby groaned from the back seat he shared with Jubilee and Pyro. “We have somewhere we have to be.”

“But we’re supposed to be superheroes, remember?” She argued back with a playful smirk. “If we don’t help him, who will?”

“You just like his ass!” Jubilee giggled, earning a glare from Bobby.

“That’s just a perk,” Kitty replied with her own laugh. “So can we stop?”

“Why not?” Rogue replied with a sigh, turning around to help the man.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It all happened suddenly. Kitty got out with Piotr close behind to see if the man needed any help. The next thing anyone knew, Piotr was unconscious. Kitty was growing exhausted from phasing through the tranquilizers being shot at her. Jubilee, Bobby, and John were taken out of the game early. And Rogue was doing everything she could to hold her own.

She had removed her gloves, ready to grab hold of any one of the soldiers that were surrounding them. She relied on every skill that she had learned since becoming a member of the team. She also brought forward things she hadn’t realized she knew. Things that she had picked up from Logan and who ever else was lodged inside her head, but she wasn’t as fast, and, in the end, she succumbed to the darkness as she was hit with a tranquilizer.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Good morning, child.” She didn’t know whose voice that was calling to her. Had never heard it before, but there was no mistaking the ice in it. Who ever it was had no conscious. “And what is it that they call you?”

She kept her mouth closed as she opened her eyes. She was staring into bright lights, the ceiling around it also white, hospital issue, of course. She moved her head to her left, away from the voice, trying to lift her arms. She found that she could, but it was a struggle.

“Side effect of the drugs, I am afraid,” her captor whispered, sounding a little put off. “Your muscles will tighten again soon, though. No need to worry. I wouldn’t want to hurt such a precious… gem like you. You will be very useful to me soon. Now if you will just answer my questions, this will be rather easy. Again, what is it you go by?”

She kept her mouth shut, not wanting to give this man anything. She turned her head again, this time meeting his eyes. His air alone screamed leadership, and she was certain that he was the one in charge.

“That’s fine. I’ll learn your name soon enough. There are plenty of people here who can provide that information.” He smiled at her, and she felt her heart tighten with fear. She could see the madness in his eyes, the darkness which had swallowed his sanity a long time ago. He held up a closed hand, bringing it close to her face, but not to close. She could see the surgical gloves he wore, and the white lab coat he kept long. Even if she could move her arms, it was obvious that she wouldn’t be able to touch him without effort. The only skin was the visible was his face. “Now, what I would like to know from you is where you got these?”

Her eyes grew wide as he slowly opened his hand, a chain falling from his closed fingers. It hung there, gleaming in the light. She could clearly see the engraving of the tag closest to her. ‘WOLVERINE’. She wanted to cry, not sure how this was going to end.

“Where did you get these?” The man asked, his face soft and comforting, like a grandfather. She may have spoken, may have opened up to him. If not for his eyes. There was nothing comforting about his eyes.

“I found them. In a bar a long time ago,” she replied back slowly, her throat sore, her voice weak.

He slapped her. She felt the sting of his palm in her right eye. She wasn’t even sure how he was able to smack her like that while she was on her back. She knew she was going to have a bruise, already feeling the blood rush to that spot.

“Now, again. Where did you get these? He wouldn’t have left them anywhere. He gave him to you.”

She wouldn’t reply, deciding that he would come to his own conclusions. Instead, she continued to stare into the bright lights above her, retreating into her own mind while he did everything he could do to her body in order to get her to talk. She knew she would be feeling it later, but, for now, she could at least escape mentally.

~*~*~*~*~*~

She heard the sirens and the screams. They were under attack. She felt her heart leap into her throat as she heard a familiar voice sound out, barking orders to who ever was with him. She wondered if he had gotten the other’s out yet. If she was the last. She knew they were alive, knew they were in the same condition she was in. Perfectly healthy physically, but, mentally, well, she doubted that any of them could regain the bits of sanity this place too from them.

And then he was there, in front of her cell. She could see him through the bars, and wanted to through herself into his arms.

“Stand back,” he shouted over the noise of the chaos that ensued around them. She did as she was told as he touched the side of his visor, hitting the lock. She watched it break with ease, and she couldn’t take it any longer. She collapsed and began to cry. She barely felt his arms scoop her up and carry her out of the hell that she had called home for the last four years.

He placed the food on the nightstand by her bed, feeling her gaze on him, even though she appeared to be in grossed in the book she was reading.

Three weeks had passed since their rescue, and while the others were beginning to open up about their endeavors, everyone could see that it seemed as if Rogue was only retreating further and further into herself. During the first week, she had made an effort to get back into her old life, accompanying the others to meals, training, and what ever activities Xavier scheduled for them to help them ease back into civilization. But, gradually, she stopped. First, it was the training lessons, and then the activities. No body asked her about it, though. No body pushed the issue. But now she was skipping meals. Xavier was growing more worried, and he couldn’t help but notice that the others were beginning to withdraw in the same way, almost as if they were following her example.

Scott decided it was time to do something, time to push Rogue back into the real world, before they lost them all.

“What do you want?” She asked, her voice almost too low for him to hear. They way she said it, it was so different from the Rogue he remembered fondly. There was no more southern sweetness, although she still carried her accent, no more bubbly enthusiasm. Even the tone was different. Harsher, more dangerous. He felt a ripple of fear run through his spine as he realized that he just might be caught in the lion’s den.

“Brought you some food. Haven’t seen you for awhile, and I thought you could use some company,” he shrugged as he took a seat on the bed next to her. Upon returning, all six of the former students were given their own private rooms in the teachers wings. Yet, while it was common to find the Kitty in Jubilee’s room and the boys crashing on Piotr’s floor, it seemed Rogue was the only one who was able to cope with the solitude. Scott wasn’t sure if that was such a good thing. “Good book?”

“Not really, but it was all that I could find,” Rogue replied, not taking her eyes off the words that Scott firmly believed she wasn’t really looking at.

“‘POW-83?’” Scott asked, reading the title off of the spine of the book. “I didn’t even think that we had that one in the library.”

“We don’t. I bought it off of the internet. Over night express.” He hadn’t realized that she had received a package. He would have to look further into that. She placed her book down on the bed, looking up at him angrily. “Get to the point.”

“Why are you reading that?” He asked, dodging her question quickly. He wanted to connect with her, to let her know that she wasn’t alone. That he was going to be here whether or not she thought she needed him.

“I wanted to see if there was someone out there who had gone through something even remotely similar to what I’ve been through. Someone who might have understood.” She paused, glancing at the book beside her. “So far, I am sorely disappointed.”

“What about the others? Bobby or Kit…”

“Not even close.” She cut him off coldly. “And I would rather they didn’t know. They have enough to deal with themselves without having to know what I was forced to do. I don’t want to belittle their torture.”

“What happened to you in there?” Scott asked softly, not fully understanding. “How do you know what they were forced to do?”

“I know because I had to watch,” she replied, her voice full of venom, her eyes shrouded by hate.

“Will you tell me about it?” He asked as he noticed for the first time the absence of her gloves.

“Yes, someday. Will you tell me why Jean is no longer sleeping in your bed or wearing your ring?” He didn’t appreciate how she countered on him with something so painful. But he understood. How could he ask about something so personal if he wasn’t willing to share something in return?

“I didn’t think anyone had noticed,” he said with a sad chuckle.

“We’ve noticed. You would be surprised what the six of us can see without you realizing it. How in tune we have become with our surroundings.” She flashed him a smile that was both beautiful and disturbing. It was almost frightening. “Make me a deal. When you’re ready to tell me what happened between you and Jean, I’ll tell you about my experiences. An eye for an eye.”

He thought for a moment, weighing his options. If this was what it would take to get her to open up, he would be willing. “Sounds fair, but I have a feeling you may already know.”

“I have a theory, but, really, what do any of us know?” Her tone was ominous, as if she already knew much more about many more things than just the sour turn his relationship had taken during her absence.

“Why don’t we start now, then?” He asked, letting his shoulders slouch a little. “Jean couldn’t set a date.”

“I refused to spill information they sorely needed,” she replied with pride. “More?”

“Not yet. How about over lunch tomorrow? We can eat up here, away from everyone else. Until your ready.” He made the suggestion easily, but he was aware of how obvious he was being.

“Or until we have both shared things we don’t want anyone else hearing.” She raised her right eyebrow at him, suggesting exactly what he had been thinking.

“I refused to be molded into what she thought she wanted,” he continued, offering his little secret as an agreement.

“Funny, so did I.” She smiled again, but, this time, the smile was a little more playful, a little more like the ones he remembered.

He got up, ready to walk away. They would continue there conversation tomorrow, and, he had a feeling that it would last a long time. He paused at the door, turning to look at her. “I didn’t want to give up the fight.”

She laughed a little, surprising him. “I couldn’t be broken.”

He left the conversation at that, retreating to his room where he would lay awake for hours, pondering the secrets he would soon share.

The afternoon the next day found Scott and Rogue sitting around a small folding table with two chairs tucked neatly into her room. He was laying a plate in front of her, watching her take a seat swiftly. Her moves were more fluid then before, more cat like. It was as if every twitch of muscle had a purpose.

“I noticed you went to breakfast this morning,” Scott said with a smile as he sat in his own chair.

“I figured that I might as well before anyone else came up here to snoop around.” He thought she was joking, had hoped she was. But one look at her face told him she was perfectly serious.

“Can I ask you a question before we begin?” He asked as he sat his fork down on a napkin. “Completely out of context, of course. Why are you so interested in what happened between me and Jean? I would have thought that something so personal wouldn’t interest you at all.”

“Scott, nothing is out of context,” she replied swiftly. “Why do you so badly want to know what I so badly want to keep hidden? Why do you want to know about what I went through?”

He was a little frustrated with her question, but knew that if he backed out now, he might not be able to get back in. “Isn’t it obvious? I want to help you. I want to see you get past it and become a real person again. Is that why you want to know?”

“Oh, Scott,” she replied with a little chuckle. “I am more real now than before. But, to answer your question; no. I don’t want to help you get through it. I have no stake in your relationship with her, or lack of one. I just want to sate my curiosity, so to speak. I can’t help but wonder; what did it take to break up the perfect couple?”

“You would be surprised,” Scott said, giving up and picking up his fork again. He speared a cherry tomato but paused before putting it in his mouth. “I think it’s your turn to go first.”

“Sorry, Sugar,” Rogue replied with a drawl, “but you go first. I don’t give without taking first.”

He thought for a second as he chewed, wondering what he could start this with. It had to be something too small to give anything away, but big enough to get her attention. “She hogged the bathroom.”

“I was one of the few who didn’t share a cell with anyone,” she replied swiftly. “Can’t you think of anything else?”

“Alright. Everything we did had to be what she wanted. Every movie, every dinner out. Even sex. And everything had to be planned.”

“Shocking. I wouldn’t have taken you for spontaneity,” Rogue asked with mock surprise. “Maybe you don’t have a giant popsicle stick shoved up your ass.”

“Cute. Let me guess; Logan,” Scott replied comfortably. From anyone else, he would have probably been upset, but this was different. He was able to take it with stride, and, for some reason, it was almost relaxing. “It’s your turn.”

“They knew about Logan. They knew that I knew and were angry when I didn’t give him up.” She was serious again. Everything she told him was significant, and he was beginning to put a picture of what it must have been like for her together. “They did things to me that no person should ever have to go through.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she replied, her voice icy. “I don’t want your sorry or your pity. I’m proud of what I endured. Everything those bastards did to me, even as if just got worse and worse, only proved that I was getting one up on them. It meant that they were getting desperate. It meant that I hadn’t given in. Your turn.”

He wanted to elaborate on what she had just said, but knew that she wouldn’t accept that. So he sighed, continuing as he forked through his lettuce. “We weren’t having sex at all during the last few months. She didn’t seem interested anymore, no matter what I tried to do.”

“They made a special chip for me, to help me control my mutation. It’s imbedded in my neck. They thought that they could control me with it, but the mutant that built it made sure that it wasn’t possible. He died for that.” She bit into her piece of chicken, her features devoid of any emotion.

“This game is going to take a long time, isn’t it?” He asked as she shrugged her shoulders. “Why don’t we get this all out in the open?”

“What ever you say,” she said quickly, motioning for him to go first.

“Jean and I started to deteriorate three months after you disappeared,” he began, pushing his plate away. Suddenly, he wasn’t so hungry anymore. “I wanted to keep searching, to keep pushing until we found you, but there were other things that needed to be looked into, new mutants who needed to be saved and terrorist that needed to be stopped. Jean and I, well, we weren’t as perfect as everyone believed. There were lies on both parts. I would tell her that I was going on a routine mission to do this or that and, really, I was checking up on leads. At the same time, we were trying to get pregnant, or, at least I was trying to get her pregnant. I found out that she had Hank place an IUC.”

“And then you broke up?”

“No, then we discussed it. She talked me into waiting with her, until we were both ready. I thought she was right. I stopped talking to her after that. Stopped going out of my way for her. I was still there, but not really.” He looked away from her, looking down at the table. “We became distant.”

“And so it wasn’t too much of a shock when she started drinking and cheating, was it?” Rogue asked swiftly, as if it was a normal question.

“How did you know?” He sat back, crossing his arms over his chest. He eyed her carefully, watching her every move, wondering what she was thinking.

“I figured that there were really only three things that could tear you two apart,” Rogue said quickly, a glint in her eye. “Drugs, drinking, and infidelity. And, lets face it, Jean was never one to pass up that extra glass of wine at dinner.”

“Well, yeah. The drinking began to get out of hand. I was willing to look past that and help her when she was ready, but then I caught her in bed with a scientist she had been working closely with. I might have forgiven her if it was just one time, but…” Scott met her eye again, ignoring the pain he was feeling. “It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why she got the IUC behind my back. I asked her about it, and she confirmed. They had been sleeping together for three years. And there had been someone else before that.”

Rogue waited for a moment, letting the information sink in. She had always had her suspicions of the good doctor. The woman was just too perfect, tried too hard. The struggle must have been too much. She was a weak woman.

“I wasn’t allowed contact with the others,” Rogue said softly, beginning her own story. “Right away, I was put into my own holding tank. No contact with anyone but the guards and scientists. They wanted to know about Logan. The man in charge, his name was Stryker. Well, Stryker knew Logan, from before. For the first year, I was beaten repeatedly. He was trying to get information on where Logan was. Kept calling him his weapon. I guess word got back to his bosses that I wasn’t being used like the others, because, one day, there was someone new. And she let me know right away that she had big plans for me.

“She was the one who decided to insert the chip into my neck. She put me on a new diet, and had me train to become one of her super soldiers, like the others. But she kept me separate. She had me watch the others be put through these tests to see how far they could be pushed. I watched them train and interact with each other. She insisted that one day, I would be her right hand man. She tried her hardest to break me.”

“But she couldn’t?”

“Not even a little bit. She had me beaten, raped, starved. You name it, she did it. And then she got this terrible idea into her head.” Rogue stopped for a second, collecting her thoughts. Scott watched her closely, waiting for some kind of emotion, but there was none. “She decided to try something with my skin. She had this little device that would activate the chip. Although it gave me control, she had control, also. If she activated it, I couldn’t stop it. So, she got this real neat idea to through me in a box with a woman named Carol Danvers. A good woman, really. Very powerful, though.

“Well, she let us sit there, all day, every few minutes, reminding us that she was going to activate the chip. Carol, well, she could have killed me if she had control of her mutation, but she was wearing a suppressant collar, like the others. So she sat there and told me storied of what it was like for her growing up, and how her family never shunned her and stood by her side when she manifested. It was like that for twelve hours. And then SHE turned on the chip and I took her life.”

“How long did you retain her abilities?” Scott asked, trying to picture Rogue stuck in this small box.

“I still have them. Why do you think I gave up your training sessions?” Rogue sat back, taking a deep breath. “After that, I was trained to use her powers. Her super strength was easy enough once I got the hang of it, but her flying was a bitch. I had to wear one of those damn collars after that, just in case. But Carol wasn’t the first. There were three after her, but only one more actually stuck. A little girl with a healing factor. I got that one a week before you arrived. I can still hear her crying.”

“What were her plans for you? Did she ever make those clear?” Scott asked, leaning forward, becoming enthralled with her tale.

“She made that perfectly clear. I was her Angel of Death. When one of her little soldiers would fuck up to greatly to be ignored, I was going to be the one to kill them. The only problem was that she couldn’t find a way to get past the fact that I would have a piece of them stuck in my head even after their abilities faded. She was trying to come up with a way around that when you showed up.”

“She was trying to make you into her perfect weapon.”

“She was making me into her only weapon.”

“Did she ever tell you her name?”

“Yeah. Master.”

The months rolled by swiftly, and Rogue found herself growing closer to her former teacher and leader. It started slowly, a movie here, dinner there. Just the two of them until she was more comfortable with bigger crowds. She was able to start doing things with the others, hanging out and training. It became clear that, although they were kept in the same facility, Rogue had advanced much further than the rest of them with her training. Of course she had. It wouldn’t do to have a commander who was equal to her unit.

Scott watched her grow and blossom, all the while aware of just how dangerous she could be if provoked. She was more animal now than before, more aware and much more serious. She still didn’t joke like she used to, and, even though she had begun to sit with the others, she hardly participated in their conversations, only given short, clipped answer. She was more intent on just listening to her friends.

He asked her about this once, when they were coming back from dinner in the city. Although she was more open to others, she still enjoyed the time they shared alone. It was when she seemed to be more comfortable with herself. And so they would set aside a day each week when they would both be able to disappear for a couple of hours without being noticed. If Scott had a mission, then he would make up for it as soon as he returned.

“I’m really happy with how you’ve been doing,” Scott began as they pulled out of the parking lot of the diner they had just left. “But, I was wondering, why don’t you have more input with the others? You usually can hold up a conversation pretty well when it’s just us. Why not with them?”

“They’ve changed, also,” Rogue pointed out quickly, taking the topic off of herself. Scott was beginning to notice that she was getting really good at that. “Look at Jubilee. She’s calmed down a great deal, you know. I remember what it was like before, how loud she could be. She’s more serious. And Kitty. Hell, she’s finally come out of her shell. She says what’s on her mind now. She doesn’t keep her emotions bottled in. Piotr is more compassionate. I didn’t think that was possible, but it is. Bobby is finding out who he is instead of trying to become your clone. John’s not so mean to the younger kids anymore, either. They don’t have to remember. They don’t have any marks or scars that reminded them of what happened.”

“So it took them being put through hell to make them better?” Scott inclined.

“Not the best way, but it is the most efficient, isn’t it?” Rogue replied, her voice dry. “But to answer your question, I don’t really relate to them anymore. They’ve been able to put what happened to us behind them and move on with their lives. They’re different, yes. Of course something like that would change them. They still have nightmares, of course, and they have scars. But nightmares can be easily forgotten in the day light and scars can be covered and will eventually fade. They can forget long enough to go on with their lives. Even with Charles and his therapy sessions, they have made remarkable progress in the last six months.”

“But what about your progress? I mean, you’re going through the same sessions. You’re still hiding, Rogue. When is it your turn to get better?” Scott asked as he drove through the gates of the mansion.

“I just have too much holding me back,” she replied softly as they pulled into the garage and parked. “Too many people in my head and no way to remind myself that it’s not me. I can’t trust my own emotions anymore, Scott. Can’t trust what I’m thinking because, in some way, it might be tied to one of the people surviving up there.”

“What about flying? I thought you really enjoyed that.” Scott commented thoughtfully, trying to give her some leverage as he turned off the car. He made no move to get out, instead watching her closely, wanting to continue the conversation.

“Yeah, I do, but even that is due more to Carol than myself. You have to remember, Scott. I got that from her, any emotions concerning flying came from her. To be honest, I used to be afraid of flying.” She smiled a little reluctantly. “I had never been on a plane until you found us in Canada. I remember clutching the arm rest to my seat so hard that I thought I was going to break it.”

Scott thought for a moment, contemplating all the things he knew about her. All the information she had told him of her days before her mutation developed. Suddenly, an idea came to him. “Let’s go for a ride,” he said before starting the ignition again.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It was another 20 minutes before he parked the car again. This time, they were in front of a small lake surrounded by treed. Rogue noted the large tire swing hanging over the water from a large spruce with anticipation.

“It’s warm enough for a swim,” Scott mentioned as he undid his seatbelt and opened his door.

He jumped out before she answered, heading down to the lake. She followed slowly, a little reluctant. It had been a long time since she had been in the water, since before the kidnapping. And only a handful of times before that due to her mutation.

“I don’t have a suit with me,” she said stubbornly as he carefully removed his socks and shoes.

“So go in your underwear,” he shot back as he unbuttoned his jeans.

She watched as he stripped down to his boxer-briefs, diving into the water. She couldn’t resist the sudden memories of swimming in the lakes around her home that were floating to the front of her mind as e swam out to the middle of the water. She grinned slowly as she reached for the hem of her shirt. What the hell, right?

~*~*~*~*~*~

They swam like children, splashing each other and diving. He waited until she was comfortable in the water before racing back to the car to retrieve his goggles. Then, when she wasn’t paying attention, he dove into the water, swimming up under her and launching her across the water, laughing as she fell wildly.

He watched her climb the tree holding the tire swing expertly, smiling as she made her way across the branch and dove expertly. He stopped laughing a few seconds later when she grabbed onto one of his legs and pulled him under, causing him to swallow a good amount of the water.

He came back up to find that she had swam a few feet away, obviously enjoying herself. She smiled at him, beckoning him to do something.

But it was growing late, and they would have to dry off before getting back into the car. Without a word, Rogue and Scott swam for the shore together, both smiling like children, neither wanting the night to end, but knew that it would have to.

They sat next to each other in the grass along the beach, watching the moon rise higher above them. Scott had to admit to himself that he couldn’t remember the last time he had so much fun. Rogue contemplated how she could have let herself forget.

“I think we both needed this,” Scott said, breaking the comfortable silence. “It’s good to just be able to forget every once in awhile. To just be yourself.”

“How did you find out about this place?” Rogue asked wistfully, lying back in the grass and gazing up at the sky. “It’s pretty isolated, isn’t it?”

“Actually, Xavier owns these lands. It’s used to be used as a retreat, but we haven’t used it in years. There is a cabin hidden in the trees. It’s been well taken care of, but, things have been so hectic lately, that I haven’t thought about it,” Scott replied with a shrug. He gazed at her for the first time, and he felt his heart leap.

The way the moon shined down on her made the white is her hair shine brightly, giving her face an angelic air. Her lips were moist and full, inviting. Part of him wanted to just lean over and kiss her, but he didn’t know how she would react. He didn’t want to break the bond they had worked so hard to build, but what if she wanted it, too?

“Rogue?”

“Hmmm?” She asked languidly. She sat up slowly, hearing the warmth in his voice. She knew what was going to happen, knew what he was going to do. She wasn’t sure if she didn’t want him to do it.

Scott didn’t think about it any longer. Only leaned over and kissed her softly at first. When she responded, the kiss became more urgent, more hungry. He let his tongue taste her lips, felt her mouth open in respond. The kiss grew deeper and it was a long moment before they broke apart.

Rogue gasped, not realizing that it could be like that. She hadn’t been kissed like that before. Not even the few seconds she had shared with Cody before her mutation had kicked in. But, she had to admit, there was something wrong with it, something off. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but she knew that it wasn’t what she always wanted.

“I shouldn’t have…” Scott said quickly, seeing the regret in her eyes. “That was…”

“Don’t say it,” she replied softly, laying her head on his shoulder. “Don’t call that a mistake. It wasn’t. It… just think of it as a learning experience. It was inevitable. We know now. We’re not what we both want. We’ll just chalk it up as… as an experiment.”

“This is going to change everything, isn’t it?” Scott asked. He didn’t look at her, only glanced up at the stars.

“No. Not if we let it,” Rogue replied with a sigh. “We’re both adults, Scott. We can get past this. We don’t have to let it change anything unless we want to.”

“I guess your right.” He watched the moon for a moment before speaking again. “You ready to go home?”

“Yeah. I think it’s time. Thank you for this. It’s just what I needed.”

She threw one last forlorn look at the lake as they pulled away. She promised herself that she would return again soon, whether or not she had someone to go with her.

~*~*~*~*~*~

By the time they arrived at the mansion, the tension was gone. They were laughing like old friends, and Rogue had to admit to herself that she hadn’t felt so good in too long. They slowly got out of the car, laughing over some story he had told her about his childhood. But something caught her eye and she abruptly stopped. She didn’t want to believe it was true, but there it was, staring at her in the face.

It wasn’t as perfect as it was the last time she had seen it. There were a couple of dents now, and it was dirty. She chrome didn’t shine as bright, but it looked well loved. It had been five years since she had seen it, but she couldn’t forget how it looked as it was driven away. The presence of the bike could only mean one thing. Logan was home.

It was well after midnight when they returned, and it was safe to assume that the majority of the mansion was already down for the night, with the few sporadic exceptions suffering from insomniac. Still, she knew that Logan was prone to be one of those exceptions, and so she quickly made her way to her room, hoping to avoid him. She wasn’t ready to see him yet, not now. Not until she had a few answers about why he hadn’t bothered to come home after she and the other’s disappeared. She had asked Charles about it once, during one of their therapy sessions. He had told her that they had tried to reach him, but with no success. And that they hadn’t seen hide or hair of him. She already knew that couldn’t be true, though. She had learned from experience that, unless their minds were intentionally being blocked like hers and the others were, Xavier could find any mutant on the face of the earth using Cerebro. No. There was more to it than that.

She wasn’t ready for the confrontation yet. She had to make sure she kept a cool head through it.

She opened the door to her room swiftly, trying to be as quiet as possible. She was hoping that no one saw her come in with Scott so late, but, she also knew that everyone had seen them leave together. For all she knew, the rumor mill had already started to run.

She only had the door part way open when she realized someone was there. She hadn’t left the door unlocked, knowing that some of the students might grow a temporary tumor in their brains and come snooping around. She pushed the door open slowly, ready to pounce on who ever thought they could invade her room, her sanctuary. And, instead of finding the room empty and a few things misplaced, Rogue came face to face with Logan for the first time in six years.

“Where the hell have you been?” Logan roared as he stomped across the room from where he was standing by the window. His nose twitched quickly, and she knew that he had caught any scent she had dragged in with her.

“Out. Where the hell have you been?” She asked, throwing his words back at him. She was striving hard to keep her temper low, to stay composed, but everything inside of her wanted to scream at him, to punch and hit him, and to fall then and ask ‘why?’. Why wasn’t he there for her when she needed him? Why didn’t he take care of her like he promised? Why would it have been so hard to put his past away for a moment and find her? She stalked to her dresser, opening up the first drawer harshly and breaking the face off. She cursed silently as she grabbed a pair of panties before gently pulling another drawer open and grabbing a night shirt.

“Where are you going?” Logan asked angrily, crossing his heavily muscled arms across his chest as he watched her walk past him to the bathroom.

“I’ve been swimming. I’m going to go and take a shower.” She pushed open the door, sighing angrily when the handle came off. This was why she had to control herself better. If she didn’t she was liable to break even more.

“I’m not done talking,” Logan growled as he proceeded to follow her into the bathroom.

“Well, I’m not listening. I’m going to take a shower. If you want to talk to someone so bad, there's a mirror on the other side of the closet door. Feel free to bullshit all you want.”

“Rogue!” He bellowed as he followed her into the bathroom. “We need to talk.”

“Then talk, Logan, but I’m going to take a damn shower.” She said sharply as she began to undress.

Logan was taken aback as he realized she was intending to strip in front of him, but he refused to budge. This was important. But when she unbuttoned her jeans and discarded them and her panties in one fluid motion, and he felt himself grow hard at the sight of her well toned ass with the dimples above each cheek, he knew it was a little too much and retreated back to the bedroom, preparing to wait it out.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A half an hour later, Rogue emerged from the bathroom, feeling a little better, although tired, hoping that Logan had left, knowing that he would wait as long as it took. She had wrapped her hair in a towel, deciding to wait to blow dry the long locks after she had gotten Logan to leave.

And sure enough, he was still there, although noticeably a lot calmer, sitting on the chair by her desk.

“What do you want?” She asked quietly, taking a seat on her bed.

“What happened to you?” His question was filled with warmth and genuine concern. It made her blood boil. “You’re not the same girl I left behind.”

“It’s been six years, Logan,” she spat back, her voice full of venom and anger. “Did you expect me to stay eighteen forever? Not all of us are so lucky to age so slowly.”

“I didn’t expect you to stay the same,” he replied, his voice becoming harsher. “But I didn’t think you would become such a brazen bitch, either.”

“Yeah, well, four years in hell will do that to a girl. You should know that.” She couldn’t deny the surprise that clouded his eyes, or the way he flinched at her words. Was it possible that he really didn’t know? That he was completely in the dark when it came to her ordeal? Was it worth leaving me to rot in purgatory?”

“What the hell are you talking about? Was it that bad here?” So he didn’t know. How long had he been back? Didn’t anyone tell him?

“Do you know anything about what’s happened to me in the past few years?” She inquired. “No, but then, you wouldn’t care, would you? It’s not that important.”

He narrowed his eyes, realizing that she wasn’t going to give him any information easily. That was fine, he would be able to get it from somewhere else.

“Where have you been?” He asked again, this time with more patience.

“Out,” she said stubbornly, unwilling to give him anymore than that.

“I could smell him on you when you came in, Marie,” he said quickly, letting her know what she already figured. She wondered if he would be this upset if it had been anyone else. Bobby, perhaps, or even the Cajun.

“Don’t call me that, Logan. You have no right to call me that, anymore. You lost that when you abandoned me here.” Her tone was even, but there was no mistaking the anger in her eyes. “Get out, Wolverine. Go to bed. Get rested so that you can be at your best when you walk away again.”

“I’m not leaving this time, Rogue,” he replied coldly as he emphasized her name.

“I guess only time will tell, won’t it?” She replied, her lips twisting into a sardonic smile.

“Screwing around with a practically married man,” Logan said as he stood from the chair, making his way to the door. She opened her mouth to correct him, but he cut her off before she could give any excuses. “I’m disappointed in you.”

She snapped her mouth shut proudly, allowing him to continue to believe what he wanted. He would find out the truth soon, anyway. Instead, she said something that she knew would hit a sore spot. “Feeling’s mutual.”

“At least think about what you’re doing,” He said as he opened the door, turning to look at her one more time.

“I learned from the best.” Her eyes became cold, unreadable. “And you are the best, aren’t you, Logan?”

He slammed the door hard enough to make the walls shutter. She stared at the spot he had just stood in for a second, and then she felt the sick laugh bubble up from her gut. Part of her was a little afraid of what that laugh could mean, but she had to admit to herself that it was either that or cry. And she would not shed a tear for that man. Not again.

Logan rose early the next morning, heading down to breakfast in hopes of cornering someone who was willing to tell him what he had missed. It wasn’t too much of a shock to find that Rogue had skipped out on the first meal of the day, but, surprise, surprise, Scott seemed to be missing, also.

He made his way quickly to the table designated for the team. He ignored the open curiosity coming from the students who were too young to know who he was. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a table full of the kids Rogue had been befriended by before he left, but it was obvious that if they had realized he was there, none of them showed any kind of emotion, as if his presence didn’t phase them at all.

“What the hell happened here?” Logan asked angrily as he stopped abruptly, slamming his hands against the table top. He heard the room go silent, and he had a feeling that the children weren’t so much as curious as afraid now. He felt someone staring at his back. Turning, he saw that it was the girl who could walk through walls. He didn’t remember her name, but he couldn’t forget how shy she was. He growled at her, and was surprised by the way she only lifted an eyebrow at him, as if questioning if that was the best he had. Her reaction left him a little dazed, and he felt all the anger slip away as he took a seat next to Xavier. “Does someone want to tell me what is going on?”

Xavier looked at the man questioningly. Surely he had to know. “Logan, if you will be so kind as to meet me in my office, we can discuss this in a more… private setting.”

Logan only nodded, standing and walking away from the group. It was all beginning to be a little too much for him.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Logan, there was an incident about five years back concerning Rogue and the other junior X-Men. They were on route to retrieve a mutant just coming into his abilities. They didn’t return.” Xavier paused, letting this information sink in. “It took us four years to locate them, and, when we did, the damage was almost irreparable. Although most of them have made significant progress in the last few months, I have been having trouble reaching Rogue.”

“Why didn’t anyone contact me?” Logan asked quickly, trying hard to keep his anger in check.

“We tried,” Xavier replied just as quickly. “It seems that, while I can reach you with in a small amount of distance using telepathy, I am unable to even find you when you are too far away, even with the aid of Cerebro. I believe that the adamantium in your skull acts as a barrier, much like Magneto’s helmet. Only on a lower scale.”

“Then why didn’t Jean get a hold of me?” His voice was low, almost threatening.

“And how do you suggest she do that?” Xavier inquired, his posture becoming stiff, defensive.

“Simple. She has my cell number. I gave it to her before I left. Told her to give me a call in case the kid… Rogue needed anything.” He watched the older man’s face closely, looking for any kind of reaction. Although the man tried hard not to show anything, Logan didn’t miss the twitch next to his right eye. “You didn’t know, did you? What happened to Rogue when she was gone?”

“I could not say,” Xavier replied, a defeated and sad look clouding his features.

“Is this supposed to be some kind of doctor patient thing?” Logan asked, an amused yet angry smile kissing his lips.

“Normally, it would be, but, in this case, it’s because Rogue hasn’t told me anything.” Xavier couldn’t help but feel the sting of failure. As hard as he tried, he just couldn’t get the girl to open up, although he had an idea of what it must have been like for her. “I have a feeling that it was worse than what the other’s were put through, though.”

“Is she talking to anyone about it?”

“I believe she has told Scott. They have grown closer over the last few months, almost inseparable,” Xavier replied with a small smile. He could only find joy in the fact that she had bonded with someone. Part of him wondered if it would become more than just platonic. He hoped so. It would be good for both of them to find someone that they could rely on, especially after all they had been through.

Xavier wasn’t blind to the events that had happened during Scott and Jean’s relationship. He felt a sharp stab of guilt still due to the fact that he had known something was wrong, that Jean was mixed up in something that she had no business being involved in, but he didn’t attempt to discuss it with either party. Simply because he didn’t want to interfere with their lives. He knew that the only reason Scott hadn’t left right after everything became open was due to the fact that the children were still missing. And now it was because of the bond he had developed with Rogue. And, judging by the turn in events of Jean’s career, it looked as if she would be leaving first.

“Do you know where she is now?” Logan asked, pulling Xavier back into the conversation.

“She should be in the gym right now,” Xavier replied, looking to Logan with sympathy. “I am very sorry for what has happened, Logan. And I will speak to Jean about this immediately.”

Logan stood from his chair with every intention of making his way to the gym before he could get side tracked any longer.

“And Logan?” Xavier called out to him. Logan paused, turning back to the man. “Scott is with her. Don’t do anything that could harm the friendship they have worked hard to tighten. They need each other right now.”

“Does Jean know about that?” Logan asked.

Xavier was shocked by the question. He hadn’t realized that Logan wouldn’t know. Of course not. Who would have told him? Judging from everyone’s reactions this morning, it was evident that no one knew that he was back until he made his appearance. But Logan was gone before he could correct the assumption. He would find out soon enough, anyway.

The first thing Logan noticed upon walking into the gym and seeing them sitting on the bench against the far wall was her smile. It was the same smile he had missed throughout the years he had been away, the smile that had kept him going when things were becoming frustrating.

The next was the way her bare hand laid comfortably on Scott’s shirtless shoulder. No barriers, meaning that somewhere along the way, she learned how to control her mutation.

“We need to talk,” Logan said gruffly, eyeing her carefully.

“Getting a little redundant, aren’t we?” Rogue asked, rolling her eyes. “Go away, Logan. I have nothing to say to you.”

“No, but I need to say something,” Logan replied sternly. “Out, Scooter.”

“First of all, his name is Scott. What ever you have to say, you can do it in front of him.” Logan didn’t miss the way her hand seemed to tense on the other man’s shoulder, almost as if she was willing him to stay. “I tell him everything, anyway.”

“I’d rather not. I don’t think your lover would appreciate what I have to say.” Logan smirked, wondering how she was going to react to his comment. He expected some kind of anger, some kind of range. Something that showed that she still cared. He was sorely disappointed.

“What ever you got to say; say it,” Rogue replied bitterly, more than just a little annoyed by his behavior. A child could see that he was trying to bait her. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “I’m not going to play your games.”

“Why didn’t you tell me what happened? Why didn’t you let me know what you had been through?” Logan asked softly, his shoulders slumping as he realized she wasn’t going to budge.

“Because you wouldn’t have cared either way,” she replied harshly. “What I went through in that place is my business alone. I’ll share it with who I feel deserves to know and your name isn’t on that short list. You didn’t give a damn long enough to drop a post card into the mail to let me know you were alive. Not one little sign in six long years. And then you come back, break into my room, try to keep me from taking a shower, and make asinine assumptions that you have no right to make. Acting as if I’m still some fragile child who still needs a dark knight to rescue me from myself.”

Logan couldn’t contain his temper any longer. He jumped at her, wrapping his left hand around her throat as he pulled her up from her seat on the bench. He couldn’t deny the sickening thump her head made when it hit the wall, but he couldn’t find the room within himself to worry if he hurt her or not. He felt the claws slide out from between his knuckles on his right hand. “Then prove it to me, Marie. Prove to me that you don’t need anyone.”

The look she gave him spoke volumes. He expected anger and hostility. He expected a struggle, maybe she would even use her mutation on him. Hell, he even expected Scott to jump in, but what she did was completely unexpected. Her body became slack, her eyes bored. It was evident that he hadn’t phased her at all. When she spoke, her tone was soft, even a little sad. “Even if you could find it in you, you wouldn’t be able to hurt me, Logan. I’d kill you before you even realized what the hell was going on. You don’t want that. Why don’t you go and find Jean and release some of this tension in her bed. I’m sure she’d like a nice rough fuck by now.”

He was too stunned by her words to do anything more than relax his grip around her neck and let her slide back onto her feet. She pushed past him now, making her way to the door, her shoulders held high with pride, her hips moving seductively, her scent filled with disappointment. Logan watched her go before turning his gaze on Scott. The man had just sat by and watched, hadn’t even tried to help. Something was seriously wrong here.

“She takes care of herself, Logan,” Scott said swiftly, answering his silent question. “I only help when she asks, and she never does.”

“Jean wasn’t enough for you?” Logan asked angrily, hoping to hit a nerve.

“Jean was more than enough. So much in fact that she was too much for the other two guys she was fucking behind my back. Why don’t you go find her? I’m sure she would be more than happy to give you a demonstration,” Scott said bitterly as he stood from the bench and began to follow the same path Rogue had just taken. He decided to follow her example and not correct Logan on the statist of their relationship. She had her reasons for not telling him the truth. He only hoped that she knew what she was dragging them into.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Logan found her in the library. She was tilted over a book by one of the shelves, concentrating too hard to notice anyone walk in. He walked up behind her and placed his hands on her hips. He felt her sudden jolt as her body stiffened with surprise. Less then a second later, she relaxed at his touch. He leaned in before she could turn around, touching his lips to her ear. He left his entire body press down on her, keeping exactly where he wanted her.

“It’s been a long time, Red,” he growled seductively. “You want to explain why you didn’t call when Rogue was in trouble?”

Her body stiffened again, realizing that this wasn’t what she expected. He eased up enough for her to turn her body around. He noted the surprise in her eyes, the worry.

“Logan!” She gasped, turning to face him. “Oh god, I’ve missed you!” She threw her body into his firmly, grabbing onto his neck as she pressed her chest against his.

“You still haven’t answered my question, Darlin. Why didn’t you call?” Logan asked carefully, removing his hands from her waist and pinning her against the shelves.

~*~*~*~*~*~

She walked into the library, wanting to find a little bit of quiet to think. She wanted to make sure that she would be left alone, and she didn’t want to resort to hiding in her room again. Her head was spinning with the all of the pain and anger she had in her body. There was something else, too, something that she hadn’t felt for a long time. Something that she didn’t want to admit to herself just yet. She was still too angry and hurt.

She walked into the deep part of the library, where they kept most of the books that normally weren’t looked at. The science books and the psychiatric books. She was very fond of the latter, taking refuge in these books when one personality or another was becoming unbearable.

This is where she found them, wrapped tightly together like two lovers. She had known that he wanted her, but she didn’t think that he would go straight to her, not so quickly anyway.

“It looks like you finally got what you wanted,” Rogue said with a smirk. “You don’t waist any time, do you, Logan?” She asked briskly before turning around and walking away from their surprised gazes.

She could feel the sting of tears in her eyes, but she fought against them as she swallowed the cry building up in her throat. She made her way to her room quickly, swearing to herself again that she would not cry for him. She would continue to deny the feelings she still carried for him, so hot that it threatened to consume her soul. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. She would rather live through the rest of the very long life that loomed before her alone than to admit to even herself that she still loved him.

Logan watched her go, and, although she was trying hard to hide it, he caught the smell of pain in her scent. He would have to go to her, clear things up. But first, there were a few things he had to straighten out here.

He looked back at Jean, not missing the fear building up in her. She knew what he was going to ask her, knew that Rogue’s presence made it all the worse.

“Why didn’t you call me, Jeanie? You had my number. You could have gotten a hold of me easily. You knew damn well that I could have helped,” Logan growled at her.

Jean stammered for a moment, trying to get a hold of the situation. She could practically feel the danger coming off of him. “I was going to. But… I thought we would find them no sweat. I thought that it would be a week at the most, and then we would have them back safely. I didn’t want to pull you away from what you were doing.”

“But you should, have, Jean.” The fact that he didn’t use any nickname didn’t go unnoticed. “Why didn’t you call after a few weeks went by?”

“The trail was cold, Logan. We didn’t think we’d ever find them. Everyone but Xavier and Scott had given up after the first year. We assumed they were dead.” Jean pressed herself firmly against the shelf now, trying to inch herself as far away from him as possible.

He could smell the lie coming off of her. That and the scent of an unknown man.

“Don’t lie to me, Jean. I ain’t one to swallow your bullshit.” Logan made a point of taking a long, hard sniff of her neck. “I think I know what happened. You were just too damn wrapped up in your own pile of shit to give a fuck about anyone else, weren’t you?”

She opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off with a growl.

“Get the fuck out, Jean. You got two weeks to get your shit and go. If you don’t, I will personally make sure you will never leave one of these kids to the vultures again.” He pushed away from her, storming away in search of the girl he should have been here to take care of.

~*~*~*~*~*~

She was sitting in her room, trying hard not to cry when there came a swift knock at the door. She stilled, listening carefully, hoping that it wasn’t the one person in the world she did not want to see, not yet anyway. She couldn’t bare the sight of him right now. She would probably break down in tears at the sight of him so soon.

“Rogue? I know you’re in there. I saw you hurry up the stairs. Will you open the door?” She sighed reluctantly, recognizing the muffled voice right away. She reluctantly left her bed, making her way to the door. Scott was standing on the other side, his mouth frowning in concern. “You want to talk about it?”

“Not really, but I will,” she said softly as she opened the door wider, letting him enter. “Either I tell you now or you’ll just trick me into it later.”

Scott smirked at her logic, understanding that it was her own twisted attempt at a joke. He took a seat at the desk, and Rogue found herself remembering that it was the same one that Logan sat in the night before. “Did he hurt you?”

“No. Not the way you think,” Rogue replied bitterly. She sat on the bed, trying to avoid looking at her friend, least he saw what she was really feeling. She pushed back the anger she felt about the entire incident, not wanting to take it out on the one person she was able to truly count on. “I just… I don’t know. I guess that I expected a little more from him. When he said those things last night, it hurt a lot more than before. And when he assumed that we were together, I just kind of lost it.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Scott sighed, watching the way she fiddled with the edge of the blanket. “You never did tell me what happened last night.”

“He was here when I walked in,” she said softly, delving into the events from the previous night head first. Scott listened silently as she explained what happened, as she got off track, cursing the brute and describing the anger she had a hard time controlling. When she finished, he sat back silently, one question popping into his mind. He had a feeling that he already knew the answer, but he couldn’t help but wonder if she was willing to admit it.

“Why didn’t you tell him that we weren’t together?” Scott asked, a little sadly. Although he agreed with her, admitting to himself that there was something missing from the kiss they shared, he still couldn’t deny the affection he felt for her, or that maybe they could grow to love one another.

“Because it’s none of his damn business,” she replied angrily, her mouth twisting as if she had just tasted something bitter. “He just assumed, so let him think what he wants. He’ll find out sooner or later.”

“Not with all the rumors flying around, he won’t,” Scott pointed out swiftly. They had grown so used to the rumors the students had a tendency to spread; none of it seemed to faze them anymore. Just this morning, he had heard someone mention that they had seen Rogue come out of his room.

“I know,” She sighed, laying back on the bed. She stared up at the ceiling for a moment, not sure how she could say this without giving too much away. “I just don’t want him to think that I need him, still. I don’t want him to keep thinking of me as sweet, pitiful little Marie who needs her hand held to cross the street. Poor little Marie, who can’t even get a real boyfriend in six damn years.”

“You know, they could have at least taught you how to lie better,” Scott said with a sly smile. “Why do you really not want him to know your single?”

“Because I’m angry at him,” she said softly. “I’m mad at him for thinking that he can still come back after six years and have some input in how I run my life. Annoyed that, have so long, he still has the audacity to still actually care. Angry at myself for letting him get to me this way, and for letting myself feel the way I do about him.”

“And how do you feel?”

She thought for a moment, and he felt his heart go out to her when she turned her face to look at him. She wore a small, sweet but sad smile, and her eyes were brimming with fresh tears. He watched her inhale once, as the first tear dropped from her left eye. It crawled over the bridge of her nose, landing softly on the bed. “I think I still love him.”

“You know, It’s kind of funny, how much we really do have in common,” She said with a sick little laugh.

“What do you mean?” Scott asked, leaning into the conversation.

“Well,” Rogue sat up quickly, brushing the tears from her eyes, “we’re both in love with two people who don’t love us back. We’re drawn to the people who are no good for us.”

“I don’t love Jean,” Scott replied, sitting straight again.

Rogue had hurt his feelings, as she had known she would. “Don’t belittle me with lies, Scott/ We both know that you still love her, always will. At least some part of you. She wouldn’t have been able to hurt you so badly. But you will be able to move on, live happily with someone else. Have little mutant babies. You’ll find someone good for you, but we never truly get over our first, do we?”

“And you? You won’t have that? Someone else that you can be happy with?”

“No.” She laughed again, and it was filled with so much sweet bitterness, so much contented sadness, he felt his stomach churn at the sound. “No, I’ll never really have that. I mean, I’m not naïve enough to believe that I’ll never find myself in love again, but it won’t last. Hell, I might even meet him tomorrow. But, he’ll grow old and he’ll die. And I’ll be alone again, only with more pain and misery for being too selfish to let my mystery man go before he wasted his life on someone who would never see him in eternity. And, to add salt to the wound, I won’t look anymore than thirty at the most.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

“I’ve got to leave, Charles,” she said quickly as she paced his office. She wasn’t sure why she was doing this, only knowing that it was what had to be done. “I can’t stay here. Not right now. I’m growing weak.”

“Do you know why that is?” Xavier asked quietly, his eyes following her back and forth, back and forth, just like a pendulum, ready to fall.

“I think it’s this whole place, all these people. I’m starting to feel myself open up again, to care, I’m not ready for that, yet. I don’t want to be so damn vulnerable again.” She sighed, looking out the window and over to land before her. There were children playing a game of touch football down there, and, for a split second, she could remember being so damn free. “I have to go.”

“But to where?” Xavier asked, as he wheeled himself to her side. “What will you do? Hide from the world? That’s not the answer, and you know that. What’s next?”

“I don’t know. All I know right now is that I don’t know anything. I just need sometime. To clear my head.”

“I understand, and I’ll help you as long as I can. You’re one of my children, now. You will not want for anything I can provide. When will you want to leave?”

“Tonight, after everyone is asleep. I just want to disappear.”

“Then I’ll have everything you need before then. I’ll help you vanish now, as long as you return when your ready.”

“Thank you, Charles.” She walked out of the office, and, for the first time in months, felt as if she was finally making the right decision for herself.

It was during the early hours of the morning when she left, escaping through her bedroom window and flying out into the dark cover of the night taking only what she worea bag stuffed with a few changes of clothing, the credit cards and forged documents Xavier had drawn up for her, and the directions to a cottage in the country side of Ireland. She also carried a cell phone that Xavier had the number to, in case of an emergency. He was quick to explain that, while the closest village was a few miles down the road and the people were mutant friendly, they would be curious of the new resident among them and may show up from time to time to see if she needed anything. But, once she was established, then, for the most part, she would be left to herself. He urged her to be friendly and well mannered, and the community would look over her need to be left alone. He had also phoned ahead to inform some of his connections in the area that she would be arriving, and not to be alarmed.

She was grateful for what he was doing for her and said her goodbyes. She asked him to let Scott alone know where she was and apologize on her behalf for not saying goodbye in person and asked him to give her the note that she had written hastily with instructions on how to handle her disappearance with the rest of the school. And then she retreated to her room to pack, feeling a sense of joy she couldn’t remember having felt before.

She left without looking back, looking forward to shedding her life as Rogue for the moment, and looking towards the temporary life of Hannah Deveron.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Where the hell is she?” Logan growled as he barged into Xavier’s office. He had paced the halls for hours, waiting for her to emerge from her room. When it became apparent that she wasn’t coming out, he had gone in, ready to force her to talk to him, to clear things up between them. But, as soon as he entered, he realized she was gone. Most of her things were still there, but it was evident that her bed hadn’t been slept in and her window was left wide open. What she did leave behind looked as if it was rifled through, and her bag was gone, along with her cloak. No one had seen her since the day before, when she finished her sparring session with Piotr and gone to see Xavier.

“Calm down, Logan,” Xavier said sternly, looking up from what ever he was working on. “She’s perfectly safe and able to take care of herself. Why don’t you take a seat and we will discuss this like rational people?”

“Fuck rational, Chuck. Where is she?” Logan began to pace the room, racking his brain for anything he might subconsciously know.

“Gone, Logan. She needed some time alone and so she left,” Xavier replied, ignoring the other man’s hostility.

“And you won’t tell me where, will you?” Logan stopped pacing, locking eyes with the man. “Listen, Chuck, this is between me and her. Now, I’ve got some things to say that she needs to hear, so quit hiding her.”

“If she wanted you to know where she was, she would have told you, Logan. She needs sometime for herself.” Xavier paused, waiting for the man to continue his rants.

“I need to fix this.” The look in Logan’s eyes said more than any words could. Xavier felt his heart go out to him. He wondered if Logan had yet to acknowledge the feelings that had sparked within his tortured soul. Never the less, he was bound by the promise he had given.

“I’m sorry, Logan, but I can’t tell you anything more.”

“Charles…” Logan growled, but was quickly cut off by the fierce look Xavier threw him.

“Logan, if you do not remove your self from my office and find yourself something more productive to help you calm yourself,” Xavier said quickly, his voice full of promise and threat, “then I will be forced to have you prance around the front yard like a ballerina by lunch.”

“A ballerina?”

“Tutu and all. Now, if you will excuse me, I called for Scott just before you barged in here like a mad man, and he has been waiting patently outside while you prove your immaturity.” Xavier knew what he had said was uncalled for, but he couldn’t help himself. Logan wasn’t the only one who could lose his temper when provoked.

Logan stormed out, throwing the door open wide. Scott only barely stepped to the side quickly enough before he was run over.

“Ah, Scott. Do come in,” Xavier said as he mentally shook off the anger Logan had stirred. “I’m sorry for the wait. Logan was unexpected.”

“Isn’t he always?” Xavier had a feeling that Scott was rolling his eyes behind his visor. “You wanted to see me?”

“Yes,” Xavier said slowly, trying to handle this as delicately as possible. He had once had hopes for the two, but it looked as if fate had another plan. “As you may have already guessed, Rogue has departed from our school.”

There was no denying the shock coming off of him in waves. “I wasn’t aware that she was gone at all, Professor. Is this something we should be worried about?”

“Not at all, Scott. Rogue just needed some time away, a little breather, you might say.” Xavier smiled softly, showing his lack of concern. “Actually, we should be more concerned about Logan right now. He’s not taking this well, and I fear for what ever it will be that crosses his path that he decides to take his frustrations out on. But, then again, if he doesn’t get his ear away from my door, I might have to make good on what we spoke about earlier.”

No one could deny the muffled curse as Logan backed away from the door, no doubt stalking off to fight something.

“Now, as I was saying,” Xavier continued after a moment, just to be sure that Logan was really gone. “Rogue left early this morning to sort herself out. She’s been under tremendous pressure since she returned to us. I regretfully have to admit that our therapy sessions haven’t been going well, as she adamantly refused to tell me just what happened to her. I’m still not aware of any of the details, although she did inform me of the abilities she acquired.”

“I wish you had better luck, Sir,” Scott replied swiftly. “If you had, maybe she would have stayed. Been able to get through this obstacle with your help.”

“Honestly, I have my doubts about that,” Xavier replied nonchalantly. “We both know that Rogue will have to come to terms with everything on her own. I only take comfort in the knowledge that she was able to confide in you. Now, I will not pry and ask you for any information that she has shared, nor do I expect you to volunteer it willingly. What she has told you is between you and her. But, be warned; Logan will, without a doubt, try to corner you on the subject. I have faith that you will keep it to yourself.”

It wasn’t a question, but a statement of the expectations Xavier held. Scott only shook his head in reply.

“Now then,” Xavier continued quickly, reaching into one of his desk drawers. He produced a sealed envelope. Scott could clearly see his name written in Rogue’s elegantly messy hand. “Rogue did leave this for you. I haven’t opened it, respecting both of your privacy. I only hope that you will practice discretion and consider burning it after you read it if Rogue reveals her location or any other information she knew you would not want to share.”

He handed him the letter, not surprised by the quick movements Scott took to snatch it out of his hand.

“That will be all, Scott. Thank you.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Scott locked himself into his room, not wanting to be disturbed. It was Saturday, meaning no classes, and he should be left alone to do as he pleased for the next few hours, as long as there were no big emergencies waiting to happen.

He took the envelope out of his back pocket, studying the handwriting again. She hadn’t said a word to him yesterday about leaving, not even when she had seen him after her session with Piotr. She must have gone straight to Xavier from there.


He opened the letter slowly, taking care not to rip anything. He wasn’t sure what was inside, but he didn’t want to take the chance of ripping anything.

Unfolding the paper, Scott began to read;

‘Dear Scott,

‘First of all, let me just apologize now before anything else. You’ve been a wonderful friend to me these past few months, and the least I could have done was say goodbye. Rude of me, I know.’

He could almost hear her speaking these words in her smooth southern accent.

‘Thank you for being there for me, when I couldn’t rely on anyone else. It means a great deal to me, and I owe you big time for it, but I had to leave, for now. I’m not going to tell you where I am, even if I already know I am going to miss you before you get the chance to read this. I left in a hurry, I know, but it wasn’t planned, and if I had said goodbye, I think it was likely you or someone else would have talked me into staying. I couldn’t take that chance. I need this little escape from your world to pull myself together.

‘I know that Logan will be hounding you incessantly. Tell him what you want about who I am now, tell him about what they did to me. He might find comfort in knowing that he’s truly not alone.

‘I’ll return soon. Promise. Once I clear my head and find myself again. I just need time, I guess. Take care of yourself, Scott. Be careful and be safe.

‘-R-

‘p.s. Don’t forget what I told you. Find someone you can fall in love with and be good to her.’

He refolded the paper in his hand, watching out of the window as he did. He only hoped that she would find the peace she was seeking.

She found a calmness filling her soul as she looked out across the swift hills and valleys of Ireland before her gaze. In the last week or so since she had arrived, she had grown accustomed to the noises and echoes of this new world. The land itself seemed to sing of a fresher existence than the one she left behind.

“G’morning, Hannah.” The voice game from around the corner of the large house. She smiled easily at it. Old Tom Connolly was the grounds care taker and had spent the better part of the week worming his way into her good graces. “It’s a pleasant day, isn’t it?”

“Beautiful, I’d say. What are you working on today, Mr. Connolly?”

“Now, Lass, I’ve asked you time and again to call me Tom. I’ll have to through you over my knee if you don’t start to mind,” Tom replied with a wave of his fist and a twinkle in his eye. She laughed along with him, knowing that his threats held no heart. “I was just getting ready to tend to these bushes. Do you have anything special planned?”

“Actually, I was thinking of making my way to town. See what I’m missing.” She hadn’t left the three story cottage since arriving, spending the first two days in bed, sleeping away the weariness that had nearly consumed her after flying over the Atlantic. Tom had been here, waiting on her to arrive. He had let her in, letting her know that he would be available to her if she needed anything. She had made him swear that he wouldn’t tell anyone she was here until she was ready.

“So, you be ready to come out into the open then. Well, this is a surprise. Will you let an old man like myself buy you your first pint at the pub?” Tom asked, waggling his eyebrows at her.

“I’ll let you buy me my first two,” she replied with a laugh that she found came easier and easier everyday.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Logan, you have to understand where she’s coming from,” Scott said, exasperated by the man’s persistence. He had been able to avoid the other man for a week, taking a drive into town for any errand anyone needed done. He had locked himself in his room, and quickly disappeared when ever Logan was close by. He knew this was coming, and he found he just couldn’t avoid it anymore. “She’s been through a lot more than you want to believe.”

“What happened in there? What were those kids put through while you were here, sitting on your ass, waiting for them to show up?” Logan growled, forcing Scott into a corner.

He was sitting in the rec room, trying to figure out what he was going to tell him, what he could tell him without Logan loosing control of himself, when the man in question came barging in, demanding answers. Scott didn’t know what to leave out. Rogue had been good about giving him the bare minimum of things, but never delving too deep and giving him details. It wasn’t until after reading her letter that he realized he only had an idea of what happened.

“Logan, sit down and knock it off. I’ll tell you what I can.”

The feral man looked shocked for a second, almost as if he was unable to register that Scott was willing to talk, without having to be threatened. There were no snide remarks, no words to make him feel like a fool, no threats. Instead, Scott’s shoulders seemed to slump as he walked back to the chair he had been sitting on a moment ago. If Logan didn’t know better, he would have sworn that Scott looked like a defeated man.

“Logan… I don’t even know where to begin.” Scott’s shoulders seemed to slump even more, and Logan realized just how much was weighing on his shoulders. He looked as if he was carrying the all of the guilt and burden everyone else had.

“The beginning’s always good,” Logan replied gruffly, not showing any concern for it.

“There was a new mutant trying to get here, but had run out of options of transportation,” Scott started softly, “he didn’t have any money, and no one really wanted to give a hitch hiker with horns sticking out of his face a ride. So I thought it would be a good practice run to have the junior team drive down and pick him up. I was only planning on sending two of them. Rogue and Piotr. Both were the best fighters and training for leadership positions. They worked well together and were the most responsible. I didn’t foresee the fact that the others were itching to get out, also.

“Rogue asked me first, and I would have probably agreed to maybe two more, but I thought it was best if she spoke to Xavier first. She was the best trained and I was planning on putting her in charge her own team in a few weeks anyway. This was as good a time as any for her to show her independence from me, so I sent her to talk to Xavier. I didn’t expect him to not only agreeing with her to take along Bobby and Kitty, but he had also insisted that she take Jubilee and John. I think he just wanted them out of the mansion for a few hours. Believe me when I tell you, everyone used to pay when those two grew restless.”

Logan barely remembered how the pair was a few years ago. When he thought about it, the only thing he could really remember were a flash of yellow and a spark of a lighter.

“Well, they left early in the morning with one of Charles’ credit cards to get a room and some food for the night. Although they were all licensed drivers and, with the exception of John and Jubilee, pretty responsible for people their age, we didn’t want them to take any unnecessary risks and drive back at night. They were to pick up the kid and find somewhere to bunk down. Most importantly, they were to call when they picked him up and before they headed back. Kitty was in charge of that.”

“But they didn’t make it?” Logan asked quickly, his voice sure and angry.

Scott shook his head no, and, for the first time since beginning this tale, Logan felt him shift his gaze away. He realized that the man before him still held more guilt than was necessary. That he still felt it was his responsibility to take care of these children, and that he should have been there. Logan realized that he was starting to respect the man a little more.

“No. Xavier had left shortly after they had to Ireland. A kid there that he wanted to greet personally and bring home, so he wasn’t keeping any mental tabs on them. And Jean… Well, Jean hadn’t thought to check in on them at all, claiming that she was distracted by one thing or another.”

“Was she?”

“Probably, but if she had been doing it, well, we might have gotten there sooner. It wasn’t until about ten o’clock that night when I realized something was wrong. There was no call, no sign that everything was alright. I tried the cell phone I had given Kitty, but there was no answer. I was going to go look for them but I wanted to badly to believe that they were fine, that they were just being the irresponsible teenagers that we all cared about, and that they would call in the morning when they were on their way.” Scott paused, turning everything over in his head, examining every emotion he had felt. “Damn it, I knew something was wrong, knew it with my gut, but my head didn’t want to believe it. I had asked Jean to do a mental scan with cerebro, and she had said she would, but I never asked her about it. And then, in the morning when I got a call from the kid, well… Storm and I went searching. We took one of the Jeeps, and I was examining every damn rock and tree on the way, looking for any sign of them.”

“What did you find?” Logan asked softly, coaxing him along gruffly. “What was out there, Scott?”

The scene flashed in his mind, and, with it, the emotions he had felt upon finding what he had. He could still feel the anger, the confusion. The guilt. Most of all, he felt the pain that comes with loosing one’s family member. “The van, of course. They had to take one to fit everybody inside. I still remember Jubilee nagging about the way it looked. She wanted to take something more compact and yellow.

“There was also a shoe. Kitty’s, I think. A few burn marks that had to have come from John’s lighter before they got it away from him. Or they could have been from Jobilee, depending on how you looked at them. The land around the road was still somewhat damp. From Bobby, most likely. And there were a few fresh potholes that could have been made by Piotr.

“Nothing from Rogue?”

“The blood. There was a lot of it. More than we thought possible,” Logan felt the blood in his own veins grow cold. “Rogue was the only one who could have gotten close enough to make someone loose that much. She had to have been the last one standing.”

Logan looked at him startled. He felt his stomach unknot and his blood run warm again. He hadn’t expected that.

“Xavier came back right away, the young Irish boy in tow. For the life of me, I don’t remember what he could do. Something with rain and sun light. Storm was in charge of his training.” Scott paused again, sitting back in the chair. “After the first year, everyone was beginning to lose hope. We didn’t know where they were or even if they were alive. We held a memorial in their honor, and, for a few people, it settled things. They were able to move on. But, for me and Xavier, well, neither of us could let it go. He couldn’t locate them with cerebro, but we both know that it’s not impossible to get around that.”

“And you hit the pavement?”

“Exactly. I kept looking. Ororo helped out a lot, contacting me with the information I needed, and Hank kept an ear out around congress, in case some military official started to brag about a new weapon.”

“And this panned out?”

“Surprisingly so, but not how we would have figured. It seemed that someone in Washington was investigating a group of private civilians being backed by a high ranking Army General. Someone no body had suspected of anything of this magnitude. We would have found out about everything earlier, but the man he had put in charge was found to be hording a few of the subjects himself. He was quickly replaced and who ever stepped in was able to keep everything well under the radar.”

“How did you find out about it?”

“Hank’s contact wasn’t sure whether or not they were actually dealing with mutants, so he started asking questions. He told Hank that it was starting to look like they had a mutant that had the ability to kill with a touch.”

“Rogue.” Logan felt his soul crack. She had been used in much the same way he had been. His worst fears had come true. And he hadn’t saved her.

“Yes. Hank dug a little deeper and we found the compound they were kept in. In the desert area between Nevada and California. They put her through a lot while she was in there. Planned for her to become what they thought would be their most prized possession. She would be their mutant leader, the one only taking orders from the most elite. She would act as their executioner and be used to keep the other’s in line. She still hadn’t been broken, though. Not in four years. None of them had. I still don’t know how they found out.”

Scott paused for a moment, not sure if he should keep going or not. Rogue had said to tell him what he wanted to, but Scott wasn’t sure if Logan was ready to hear it just yet. He would have to find out sometime though, and it would be best if he wasn’t caught unaware at a crucial time. Scott still expected Rogue to come home and join the team. It wouldn’t do to have Logan get himself killed to protect a woman who couldn’t be harmed.

“She was forced to do a lot, Logan. She had to watch as the other’s were pushed to develop their abilities further, had to study how they did it. She was kept separate from everyone else, at the same time, in the hopes that she would understand that she wasn’t one of them, but their better. They took her hope for control away when they put a chip in her neck and began controlling her mutations for their own sick purposes.” Scott paused again, knowing that he was going to continue, but trying to find the words. “They made her take lives, Logan. Made her kill with her mutation and their was no stopping it. Two of the mutants she killed, well, she kept their abilities. A woman who could fly and had super strength along with invulnerability. A boy who could heal. She’s going to live forever with this festering inside of her. It’s no wonder she needs some time alone.”

“There’s more your not telling me. What else?”

Scott sighed, realizing that he had gone this far, he might else well tell the rest. “She was beaten a lot, tortured and played with. She was forced to see witness her best friends be tortured and she couldn’t help them. She has the soul of a leader, and something like that, well; it eats a person like us away quicker than anything they could do to us personally. I suspect that she was raped, but she’s never spoken about it. Not with me, nor anyone else. With her new healing factor, all that we could tell was that she wasn’t a virgin anymore. And, knowing what the other two girls went through, it’s easy to deduct what she was put through. Especially after they took control of her mutation.”

“I should have been here,” Logan said softly, his words ringing truer than he had ever guessed. “I shouldn’t have left at all. If I hadn’t…”

“If you hadn’t, you would have been wondering about your past and making it difficult to find them. We don’t know how they could be taken so easily. We thought that the kid had something to do with it, but Xavier checked his mind and knew that he didn’t have any idea. Don’t hold that against yourself. You didn’t make it happen and no one told you. I wish we had. She needed you, yes. But she was able to get past it to this extent. She just needs sometime. Give her that, at least.” Scott stood to walk away, wanting to end the conversation. He had only taken a step when he felt Logan’s hand on his arm.

“You should start taking your own advice,” Logan said, apologetically. “You had no way of knowing, either. And you had no way of stopping it. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“Thanks Logan. You’re right, but we both no that words like that aren’t going to take away the guilt.” Scott smirked for a second, realizing that they had just crossed a line that might just make them tolerant to one another. “If it’s any consolation; Rogue and I were never together. She… She just wanted to keep that to herself.”

“Why?”

“You’ll have to ask her about that.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

“How do you know Charles, Tom?” Rogue asked over her pint of Guinness.

Tom smiled at her over his own pint, and she noticed the way his green eyes seemed to brighten with the memory. “Ah. You see, your not the first mutant to ever grace our presence, Lass. If I tell you my tale, will you share one of your own?”

“Why not. I think I can dig up a couple. You have a deal.” She stuck her hand out for him to grasp, shaking on her word.

“Well,” Tom started casually, sitting back in his chair, “my son, Michael is his name, well, when he was sixteen, he had a crush on the girl down the road. She was a pretty thing, although not as pretty as you.”

“Enough teasing, old man,” Rogue growled lightly. “Do you always through around compliments so easily?”

“Aye. It helps keep you young,” Tom replied with a playful grin. “Anyway, this girl didn’t return any of Michael’s affections, and she let the world know. Well, for weeks afterward, the rain poured down long and hard. The crops began to die from lack of sun and too much water. No one knew what was happening. Now, there was another girl, here in the village. She had been love with my son since they were in diapers. One day, she saw him moping around in the rain. She said too hell with it and walked right over and kissed him. Not just a peck. No, she kissed him full on the mouth long and hard. With everything she had. Well, as she was kissing him, a funny thing happened. The clouds seemed to clear with a blink of the eye and the sun began to shine.

“But, as the weeks went by, the days began to grow unbelievably warm. Hot, even. It became clear that the weather would change with Michael’s moods.”

Rogue was suddenly reminded of Ororo, and what she was capable of, given her own mood swings. She wondered if this boy was on the same level.

“Xavier came to us soon after, and told us that he could help my poor son. He would take him to America and show him how to use his gifts and put him through school. My boy happily agreed, saying that it was a fine opportunity. I asked Xavier what I could do to repay him, but he wouldn’t hear of him. I told him that I would have to refuse, unless he let me do something for him. My pride wouldn’t let me accept a gift like that. So, he told me that he was looking to build a cottage close by the village, and wanted to know if I would be the caretaker. I agreed whole heartedly, and, as soon as it was finished, I took over the grounds. I have to say though, before I found out you were coming, I was beginning to believe that he had only built it to satisfy my pride.”

“And what happened to Michael?”

“He was gone for about a year. Then he came home and married that girl before taking her to Dublin to start their own business. They’re expecting their second child now.”

Rogue felt her heart swell with the happiness she felt for the couple. It was one of those things that kept Charles going, that kept him from giving up when it looked as if the world was against him.

“Now, Lass, we made a deal. Do you have a story or not?”

“Yes, I have one. There was a girl once,” she began swiftly, allowing her mind to creep back to all those years ago. “She was a sweet girl, smart, polite, very shy. She was in love with this boy she had known for most of her life.”

“This is starting to sound like mine.”

“No, it’s different. You see, this girl, we’ll call her Marie. Marie was special, only she didn’t know it. She found out, though, during the first kiss she shared with this boy. Her first kiss ever. She found out that she could take a life with a single touch. She put the boy in a coma. Her family shunned her and the town ran her out. She headed North with little more than the clothes on her back and a few dollars in her pocket.

“She made it all the way up to Alaska, where she met a man with bones of metal. She snuck on to his truck, but he found her and took her in. She was warm, and, for the first time in eight months, felt safe. But it didn’t last.

“Soon after, they were attacked, and saved by Xavier’s people. They thought the people who had attacked them wanted something to do with Lo… the man, but it was really her they wanted. They kidnapped her right out from Xavier’s nose. The man saved her though, with help from their new friends. She was close to death, and so he touched her, giving her another chance and sacrificing his own. And she loved him for it. If she was to be honest with herself, she loved him since she the moment she saw him. Needless to say, they both survived, but her happiness wasn’t to last. He left shortly after that, leaving for a quest to find himself. He gave her something very important to himself, something that he had owned for as long as he could remember, and promised he’d be back.” Rogue fought the urge to reach for the area on her chest where the dog tags once hung. She could almost still feel the cool metal against her skin, but it was useless. They were long gone. “She never stopped loving him.”

“Aye, that’s a sad story, Lass. Did he ever return?” Tom asked his sadness in his eyes.

“Yes, but she had waited a long time, and had been put through a lot in between,” Rogue replied somberly. “By the time he came back, she was a different person, and not naive enough to believe that her love was enough.”

“Love is always, enough, Dear Hannah. Love is all you have in the end.”

She had to work fast. She had been able to hold them off for the past few months by explaining that they had to wait until everything died off, and she could set it all up for them again. There was no way they could just pick them off from the mansion grounds, not with both Scott and Logan lurking around. Xavier would sense them coming in no time. But her circumstance changed, and she only had a day and a half to set it up. She knew that if she was still here come this time in three days, Logan would hold good on his threat. She didn’t have much time to find the information they needed to get their prized project back.

The only consolation was the fact that Xavier had sent her away. She was somewhere the others didn’t know about, and, when she disappeared again, there would be no one around to miss her. It was fortunate that the people backing her didn’t want the other’s back. They didn’t care one way or another, but Rogue was special to them. Rogue was their key.

Xavier was gone, listening to some speech some idiot in Washington was giving. If she worked quickly, she could get the information she needed and be gone before he returned.

It was obvious that the old cripple didn’t know anything about what had transpired between herself and Logan that day in the library. He would have surely said something to her by now. It was amazing what a telepath as powerful as Charles Xavier could miss within his own home.

She pushed slipped quietly into Xavier’s office, careful not to get caught. She didn’t feel comfortable going through his office, but, if she didn’t get these people what they wanted, she might as well stay and take what ever Logan was planning for her. She would be as good as dead anyway. It was only a shame that she was no longer able to twist Logan around her little finger again like she did last time.

Going to the giant oak desk, she knelt before it, examining the lock. It was simple enough, and, with her abilities, she would be able to pick it with her mind.

Using her telepathy, she pressed her right hand against the drawer, concentrating on moving the springs. With a soft click, the drawer slid right open for her. She smiled to herself, happy with her work. Once the drawer was shut, it would lock again, and no one would know what she had been up to.

She quickly skimmed through the folders that had been locked into the drawer, looking for anything that might be helpful. There had to be something there that would tell her where the brat was. There was nothing on Rogue, so she continued her search, looking for anything that might reveal her name.

There were only a few options after that. And only three of them were female. Pulling them out carefully so as not to disturb the rest of the documents, she flipped open the first one and found exactly what she was looking for.

It seemed that Rogue was now going by the name of Hannah Deveron. She was living in a remote part of Ireland that shouldn’t be too hard to find.

She quickly made copies of all of the information she would need, including information about the people who may have been in contact with Mss Hannah Deveron.

Taking her cell phone from her pocket, she quickly dialed a number that she had mesmerized a long time ago.

“You got good news, I hope?” The voice on the other end was cold and collected, but she didn’t miss the under tone of impatience. “For your sake, of course.”

“I found her. I can fax you the information in an hour, once I get into the city.”

“Good. You’ve made a wise decision, and you will be rewarded.” The voice paused, letting her fill with relief. “But I don’t want another fiasco like the last one. She’ll be on guard, and I will need a familiar face to get her to keep her from being suspicious. You will accompany my people this time.”

“But…”

“You will or you will answer to me, Jean. I am not above coming to find you myself, and, believe me, you don’t want to see me face to face. I’ll give you more information after you’ve faxed me what you’ve found.” There was an audible click as the other woman disconnected the call. Jean felt her shoulders slump. This wasn’t supposed to happen this way.

~*~*~*~*~*~

She quickly left the office, the information she copied securely in her bag. She was careful not to be seen, but not careful enough and she missed the feral eyes that watched her leave Xavier’s office and stalked her to the garage.

She missed the low growl that ensued as she started her Porsche and drove towards the city.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“She’s up to something, Scott,” Logan said after cornering the man coming out of his room. “I don’t know what, but I got a bad feeling this has something to do with Rogue.”

“Do you know what she was doing in there?” Scott asked, his muscles tightening at the sound of that name. “Did you hear anything?”

“No. Not through those damn doors,” Logan replied sternly, “but I watched her. She seemed in a hurry to get out of here and get somewhere. She was carrying something special in her bag.”

“So you got X-Ray vision now?”

“Don’t be a smart ass, Scooter. I was starting to actually like you.” Logan replied with a crude smile. “No, it was the way she was clutching the bag, keeping it close like it would explode if she dropped it.”

“And how do you know it has something to do with Rogue, exactly?” Scott asked, exasperated. He was starting to wonder if times had been better when he and Logan hated each other.

“I checked.” Logan shot him a look that had Scott bite his tongue in case any more questions wanted to pop out. “After she left, I went into the office and found her scent all over that drawer he keeps locked up. So I popped it. And I the file that had her damn stink all over it was one on Rogue. Under the name Hannah Deveron. She’s in Ireland, Scott. There was a number, too. I need you to call it and warn her. She should know what is coming her way.”

“I can do one better,” Scott said with a grin, grabbing his cell phone off of the nightstand and flipping it open. “I can call her and tell her that we’re on our way. She’s not going to face this alone, and we’ll be able to catch who ever took her the first time.”

“I think I’m starting to rub off on you, Scooter,” Logan said with a sly grin.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Shane, what the hell are you doing here?” Rogue asked, a little annoyed. They had met the night she had told Tom her story. He was Tom’s nephew (on my sister’s side, he had said), and had insisted on walking her home. It seemed that he hadn’t left since that night. She knew it had been a bad idea, and should have killed Tom for playing matchmaker. “I told you; I’m not interested in dating…”

“Courting, Hannah. It’s called courting when a man is interested in marrying the lass,” Shane replied, flashing her a goofy smile.

Rogue had to try hard not to growl at the man standing on her porch. He was trying hard, and, as much as she thought he was cute and sweet, she really didn’t want to let him down hard.

“Shane, why don’t you go find a nice Irish girl to settle down with? I’m just not that interested,” Rogue said quickly, congratulating herself on controlling her temper. “I told you, I’m not ready to get married.”

“ ‘Tis that Yank you told Uncle Tom about, isn’t it?” Shane asked sternly. “Well, why can’t you just forget about him. You already know he don’t love you in that way. He’s too blind to see it. We both know that I would make you a good husband, Hannah. Just let me show you by courting.”

“Shane, I’ve known you for a week. You know nothing about me.” Rogue couldn’t believe her luck. Only she would move from a mansion packed with mutants to a cottage in the middle of nowhere, three miles from the closest town, and get a stalker. She should have never told him he was cute.

“No, I don’t. But that’s what courting’s all about,” he replied brightly. It also seemed that he had an answer for everything. “I know you will make me a good bride, lass. I can see to your heart. You’re a good woman and will make a good wife. And my Ma will be happy with you, too.”

She opened her mouth to say something a little less charming, but she stopped when she heard the sound of a cell phone ringing. It was the phone Xavier had given to her before she left.

“I can’t do this now,” she said to Shane as she slammed the door in his face. Turning towards the noise, she sprinted to the livingroom, her blood running cold. She picked it up quickly, flipping it open and placing it to her ear. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Rogue?” Scott’s voice rang back at her. She felt a little relief. Surely if something was wrong, Xavier would be calling her himself. But then she realized that no one but Xavier was supposed to have this number. “Before you get mad, just listen. Jean’s up to something, and we think it has something to do with you and that place. We’re going to fly out to you as soon as I get off the phone. I’m just giving you fare warning to expect us.”

“Who’s we?” Rogue asked angrily, already knowing the answer.

“Logan.” She knew Scott was holding his breath, waiting for her to yell. At the same moment, though, she heard Shane banging on her backdoor, asking if he could come in.

Suddenly, she had an idea.

“Fine. Just hurry up. I have another problem that I think I’m going to need his help with.”

She was standing outside of the cottage with an unknown man when they landed. The way she was holding herself was a little uncomfortable and Logan wasn’t sure if it was because of him or the other man.

Logan couldn’t help but smile at the way her eyes lit up while she watched them walk toward her. They had landed on a small hill just in front of the cottage, making them close enough to make a quick getaway if needed. She ran towards them, the man she left behind watching them with open hostility. For a split second, Logan let his hopes get high enough to think she was running to him. But that hope was quickly dashed as she flung herself into Scott’s open arms.

“I can’t believe how much I’ve missed you!” Logan heard her exclaim as she placed a kiss on Scott’s cheek. “I should have made you come with me. I could have really used your help with this one.”

Logan watched as the young man walked towards them a little reluctantly. He stopped in front of Scott, offering his hand to him, although it was plain to everyone that he wasn’t too happy about having to be hospitable.

“Me name is Shane O’Rourke. You must be Logan, the man keeping me from my destiny.” If he hadn’t said it with such flare and hostility, Scott might have burst laughing. As it was, he was having a hard time to keep his composure as Rogue rounded on the poor man.

Neither the young man nor Rogue noticed how Logan’s jaw dropped or the uneasy glance Scott threw at him.

“As I told you before, Shane; it has nothing to do with him. I’m just not going to marry you,” Rogue said sternly, whipping away and heading for the cottage. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to spend some time with my friends.”

“Aye, lass, I do mind. I’ll not be leaving you alone with men. ‘Tis will ruin your reputation.”

“Shane, you’ve been here everyday for the past damn week. Wouldn’t that have ruined my reputation by now, too?” Both Logan and Scott could hear the strain in her voice and knew she was on her last nerve. It wouldn’t take too much more for her to lose it entirely.

“Ah, lass, didn’t you realize? My own dear uncle has been here to chaperone while he tended to your pretty lawn,” Shane said with a sweet smirk. He turned towards the real Logan with a cocky smile. “She must have been blinded by her love for me to have missed him.”

“Uh, Shane, is it?” Scott said, quickly trying to deter him away from Logan’s angry scowl.

Shane looked at the man he still believed to be Logan, flashing him a dark gaze. “You’ve hurt her enough, haven’t you? Do you want to see her cry over you, too? Why don’t you tell her how you really feel and break her heart to complete pieces. Then maybe I’ll be able to help clean up your mess once and for all. Or aren’t you a real man, Logan?”

Scott only shrugged, not understanding how the man could be so blind not to see the rage over taking Logan. “Alright. Rogue…”

“Her name’s Hannah, you know. Or do you not even care enough to address her as a real person?” Shane asked stubbornly.

“Hannah?” Scott asked, grabbing Rogue’s attention and her anger for going along with this. “You know that I care for you a great deal, and that I would do anything for you and have done a lot, including when I let my marriage fall to pieces to find you when you were in danger. You know that I love you a great deal, but it’s not the kind of love you need or that I am willing to give just yet. I’m sorry, but you will never be anything more than a sister and a friend to me. I though we had established that.”

“We had,” Rogue replied with a stiff lip. “And you know damn well I feel the same way, Scott.”

“Scott? I though you said his name was Logan?” Shane asked, a little bewildered.

Scott shook his head no, trying really hard not to laugh. “Nope. I’m Scott.” He jabbed a thumb towards the very angry, very dangerous man. “That’s Logan.”

“Well, I’ll be…” Shane said with a quick swallow. He looked the other man up and down, realization dawning on him as he came to understand that the true Logan may be a bit more formidable than the other man. “Well, ‘tis doesn’t matter at all. I wasn’t raised a coward. You hurt her bad, and, because of you, my Hannah doesn’t want to see that she was meant for me.”

“That’s too bad, kid,” Logan replied with a slight growl. “And I am very sorry to hear that about you and your Hannah, who ever she maybe. But me and my Rogue have a lot to catch up on and your bothering me.”

Shane didn’t know what to say to him, so, instead, he turned towards Rogue. “I don’t see how you can be so hung up on him, lass. He’s not even respectful enough to call you by your real name.”

“Shane…”

“No, lass, ‘tis time you listened to me. To your heart. Is this man really worth throwing away what we have?” His voice was hopeful and sweet, and Rogue had a feeling that if she was another woman under different circumstances, she might have accepted his love. “I can give you anything you could possibly want, lass. I can take care of you and love you as a man is supposed to. If only you would give me a chance.”

Rogue felt the anger leave her bones as she walked to Shane, kissing him gently on the lips. She knew that he thought he loved her, and it was going to break his heart, but it was better to do it now than later. “Shane, I’m not who you think I am. I’m not just some sweet girl from the states who is here to mend her broken heart and who just so happens can fly and lift a tank with ease. My name isn’t Hannah, and has never been. It’s Rogue, and I’m hear to heal from a life time of being abused and unloved and treated as a weapon.

“I’m a mutant who can take away a life with a single touch. A woman with too many people caged up in her head to be able to count or have a single thought without worrying if it’s my own. I’ve seen and done things far worse then any nightmare you’ve ever dreamt. And when your children and your grand children and even your great grand children are nothing more than a mixture of dust and forgotten memories, I’ll still be young and vital and strong. You don’t even know who I really am. How can you possible love me?”

“But, Han… Rogue, what ever your name might be, I want to know you. I want to love you,” Shane replied, his dark eyes pleading with hers.

“Then think of it this way,” Rogue replied softly, touching her hand to his cheek affectionately, trying to reach the words that would make him understand. “I can’t love you, Shane. I can’t sit here in a hundred years and pass the time away trying to remember the name of the first man that I married. I can’t search through all of the memories, those that are mine and those that I acquired along the way, that belong to other people, trying to find the memories of you and the small amount of life I shared with you. What’s it going to be like for you in sixty years, when your life is growing short and you know that your wife will never lay beside you in death, that she will go on to bury your children and never grow old, probably never die.”

“Aye, lass, I see your point. But I love you, you should know. I love your spirit and you heart. I love your temper and your thoughts,” Shane whispered, and Rogue could see how he was beginning to let go of the idea of them together.

“I thank you for that, Shane, but I can’t return it. I can’t give you what you really want,” she whispered, embracing him tightly. “But you can still find what you are looking for, in someone else. I’m sure there are many women here who would open their hearts to you. If you gave them a chance, I’m sure you will find one more suited to be your wife.”

“ ‘Tis the soul of an Irish woman you have, Rogue. And I am sorry. But will you at least be my friend?” Shane asked simply, his shoulders hunching in defeat.

“That’s all that I’ve wanted from you, Shane, and it’s more than I could have hoped for,” Rogue replied softly.

Shane looked past her quickly, eyeing Logan with distain. “Don’t hurt her, lad. Don’t hurt my feary, Logan. She deserves better than you, and you had better go to your grave knowing that.”

Shane then turned, walking away, his shoulders hunched and the bouquet he had picked for her hanging low enough to almost touch the ground. Rogue had a feeling that he was going to the pub to drown himself in whiskey and to tell his tale of heart break. She couldn’t help the feeling of guilt that rushed through her.

“Can we go in now, please?” She asked softly, going the extra mile to not look at Logan. “You can tell me what to expect inside.”

“Great,” Logan replied angrily. “Then you can explain what the hell that was about and why I have something to do with this.”

She turned on him then, for the first time since they arrived, acknowledging his presence. “What the hell do you think, Logan? Are you seriously that dense and blind that you don’t see it? I’m in love with you. I have been since I saw you in that cage fight. But your too stupid or something to get it. You’re too damn blind and got your head too far up Jean’s fucking ass to see what’s in front of you.”

“I… Mar…’

“No. Don’t apologize. You don’t get to apologize for this, Logan. It’s who you are and I get that. I’m just some stupid kid who’s supposed to have been waiting for you to come home and throw herself into your arms. Well, guess what. I’ve been through some shit since then and I’m not that girl. I love you, Logan, but I know that you won’t ever feel the same and I will not be something to pity. When we’re done with what ever is going on here, I’m disappearing again, and, this time, I will not be so damn easy to find.”

Logan grabbed her before she could walk away and pulled her close. His grip was tight on her wrist and he was about to let her go. One quick scan of the surrounding area and she realized they were alone. Scott was probably already in the cabin, waiting for them to fix what ever it was that was broken between them.

“You listen to me, Marie. I might have thought that you were always there for me, that you would be waiting for me to come home, but I’ve never pitied you,” he whispered angrily. His eyes were full of passion and she felt her breath catch in her throat. She knew that she could easily push away, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She knew that, if she was willing to admit it to herself, she wanted to be here, to be flushed against him. “I know you’re not that same girl you were when I left. I can’t help but notice how grown up you’ve become. Hell, there isn’t a man alive you can’t help but notice. Why the hell do you think I was so pissed when I thought you and Scott were together? I was fucking jealous, Marie. I still want you. Hell, if I didn’t know that there was something big about to happen and that I didn’t think you’d kick my ass for it, I’d take you right here. As it is, it’s going to have to wait until this is over.”

She didn’t know what to say, the shock of his words making her heart pound enough to ring in her ears. And then he did something she wasn’t expecting. He lowered his head, meeting her lips with is own, and devoured her mouth.

She realized then what it was that she was missing when Scott had kissed her before. Logan’s lips were warm and firm and soft at the same time, but it was the hunger that pulled her in, and force and the animalistic greed. She had never felt anything like this before, and it seemed to reach to her soul. She couldn’t help but kiss him back, to be swept into the moment. He tasted of cigars and bourbon and just pure animalistic maleness. She felt the bittersweet joy of knowing that this was all she had wanted for years and that it might be all that she ever had. She knew that this wasn’t going to be enough. With Logan, she would never be able to settle for less than all.

“She took it away from us,” Rogue whispered as she stared down at her hands. They were sitting around the kitchen table now, where Scott and Logan took turns explaining what Logan had discovered and what they suspected. Logan started by telling her about how he left his number with Jean to call him in case anything happened. She bit her tongue, not wanting to ask him why he hadn’t given it to her.

He went on to explain that what she had seen in the library wasn’t what she had thought, that he wasn’t trying to make a pass, but threatening her. That he hadn’t meant for anyone to see.

She shook her head yes, keeping her own council. She wasn’t sure if he was lying now or telling the truth, but, either way, it didn’t matter. Logan explained what he had seen and what he had discovered, and Rogue knew that what ever questions were on the tip of her tongue would have to wait. Something big was coming for them.

“We can’t fight them now. We don’t even know what their coming with,” Rogue said, matter of fact. “I’m the only one with any real sense of the land, and that’s only after a couple of days, really. And, it’s best to assume that if they are willing to go through all that they did to track me down, well, they’re not coming in groups of two.”

“So then what do you expect we do? Run?” Scott asked swiftly, following along her pattern of thinking but not wanting to interrupt it. He had always thought she would make a good leader, and now she was proving it. “ Take off and hope that they don’t find us?”

“That’s not an option, Scott. We both know that,” she replied as she sat up a little straighter. She grabbed the salt shakers and what ever else was lying on the table. A few pencils and pens, some paper. Quickly working, she made a rough map of what Logan and Scott had to assume was the village. “If left unprotected, these people will be slaughtered. Whether out of anger, in search of new mutants, or just to cover their tracks, it’s unimportant. In any event, they will be killed. And their blood will be on our hands.

“The village is nestled comfortably between the hills. But it’s not adequate enough to protect the people. We’ll need to cover every corner of this place.”

“I’m up for a challenge and all, Darlin,” Logan said with a smirk, “but how do you think we’ll be able to do this between the three of us? Especially with what you think they’re going to be packing.”

“I don’t think we can,” Rogue replied with a twisted smile of her own. The gleam in her eyes was almost terrifying, and Logan realized there was more to her plan than a simple protection mission. “And we’re not going to. How fast can you have Jubes and John and the rest here?”

“Hour, hour and a half, tops,” Scott replied, feeling a little nervous about her thoughts. He had assumed that they were just going to evacuate everyone, but it seemed that Rogue had another idea. “We can do this differently, you know.”

“Yeah, but were would the fun be in that?” She said with a chuckle. Remembering that Scott didn’t quite understand her sense of humor as well as other’s might, she realized she would have to explain. “We don’t have the time to evacuate, Scott. They wouldn’t be far enough way. Plus, you have to understand something, Scott. These people are natural fighters with tempers worse than Logan’s. And too proud to just grab a few things and run. They won’t leave. They’re lands and homes… well, it’s their heritage. Most of these people’s families have been here for generations. They’ve poured their lives into this land, buried loved ones and watched other’s marry. They won’t give it up without a fight. And I don’t think anything less than God himself can get these people moving.”

“Is it wise to bring in the others though?” Scott asked, trying to understand what she was thinking. “I mean, they’re getting past what happened and are beginning to lead normal lives again. Last time I checked, none of them were really interested in joining the team again. And, if we are sure, these people only want you back. Won’t this be like handing them a little extra on a silver platter?”

“Yes, if I thought we could lose. But these people… Scott, they hurt us all. This is just as much their fight as mine. I saw what they were put through, what they were forced to do.” Rogue paused, taking a deep breath and forcing her emotions in check. “I watched when they were trying to push the others beyond what they should have been capable at that point, what should have happened gradually. I’ve seen Bobby turn completely into ice and more. Watch John become consumed in a fire that was too much for him to handle. Kitty nearly became transparent. Jubilee and her damn fireworks. She went blind for two weeks. They were beginning talks about disposing of her when her sight finally returned. Those damn sparks were just too bright. Piotr was pushed to the point that he was almost stuck in his metal form.”

“So then how are we going to do this?” Logan asked, interrupting them. There were only about four hours of day light left.

Rogue looked at him pointedly before continuing. “First of all, we’re going to need to move the plain. It would be best if someone could drop them off and be on standby. We’re not leaving here until the job is finished. As for that other jet out there. Well, we need to find a clearing for it. Scott, once you get off the line with the others, I need you to move it here.” She pointed to a spot a few miles south of the village. “I’ll send someone to meet you there and bring you back. I’m going to head into the village and get these people to hide and stay out of my way.”

“And what about me?” Logan inquired gruffly.

“You are going to stay here and wait for the others. Make sure that they know what we are up against and that Jean will most likely be heading them.” Rogue stood, ready to walk out of the door when she felt a hand land on her arm.

She turned quickly; ready to intercede Logan’s protests. Instead, she found herself staring into his hazel eyes, eyes softer and warmer and filled with more worry than she ever thought possible.

“We have some things to talk through when this is over, Marie.” He whispered it low enough that Scott, who was in the midst of rounding up the team, couldn’t hear it. “I want to know what they did to you there, in your own words. And I have some things that I need to tell you.”

“Fine, Logan. We’ll talk, but not until we are done with this.” She turned and left, unsure if she was going to keep her word.

The others were there by the time she returned from town, and Scott should have been on their way. There weren’t any hugs or happy greetings, nothing joyous or even a simple hello. It was just a giant group of people, standing around, looking at each other for the first few minutes.

“Why don’t we go in the house and wait for Scott,” Logan said as he watched Rogue and the others eye each other carefully. Six years ago, there would have been squeals of joy and tight hugs, although carefully placed. There would have been laughter and jokes and shallow happiness. But now, they just watched each other carefully, silently communicating with small shifts of bodies as well as eyes. There was no denying the energy that surrounded the group of six, or Logan found himself and Storm feeling as if they were on the outside looking in at something powerful. The group exuviated a danger and malice so extreme, Logan felt his spine shutter at its presences. He was only happy these people were on his side.

~*~*~*~*~*~

They sat around the table, whispering silently, and, again, Logan found himself and Storm secluded from the rest. That didn’t keep him from listening in, though.

“There coming for me, not you,” Rogue whispered to the others, working to catch them up on the events that she had only just learned herself. “They don’t even know you’re here. If you want to go, I can get Scott and Logan to let you take back the small jet they flew in on. I’m not making you stay and fight. This is your decision. Make it fast though, because once they get here, there will be no turning back.”

“I think we’ve all already made our decision when we came, Rogue,” Piotr answered for the group. The others shook their head in unison. “This is for us as much as you, and we’re not going to leave you to face them alone.”

“I thought as much. But you have to understand what we are facing. It’s deeper than we thought,” she said quickly, knowing that what she was going to tell them would shock them as much as it did her. “When we were taken, it wasn’t random.”

“We’ve all suspected that for a while, Rogue. We’ve been talking about it when we could find time away from everyone else.” John’s voice was full of bitterness and anger. She knew what was tearing him apart, knew that he had been abused for his abilities more than the others. Like with hers, they relished on the fact that he didn’t have absolute control over his abilities, and he was taunted and abused for it.

“Well, it’s deeper. It was an inside job,” Rogue said quickly, wanting to get this part over with before Scott came back. No matter what he said, she knew that he was hurting because of it, that his pride was crushed over being betrayed like he was. “We were set up by Jean Grey.”

She gave them a moment to absorb the information. She knew that it was a shock, even if their facial expressions didn’t show it. They were good at hiding their feelings. Like herself, they had been trained well and it was that training she was counting on.

“It makes since, now that we know,” Jubilee said quietly, seriously. “She… she was always really careful around us, guarded. She never really went out of her way to talk to us. I figured that she thought Xavier was helping us and she didn’t want to get involved. You weren’t opening up to anyone but Scott, and we thought that it might have had something to do with that.”

“Yeah, well, out rescue probably cost her. It seems she’s still in contact with them. I wish that we had a better knowledge of who ‘they’ are.” Kitty said sternly, angrily. “It would help us prepare.”

“We might not know who they are in name, Kitty, but we were with them for four years. We were trained by them,” Rogue replied, her eyes narrowing. Although Kitty had become stronger, she still seemed to doubt herself. “We know them better than they think we do. We know how they think and how they will attack. They’ll use the village to try to throw us off, but we’ll cover that, too. They showed us who’s powers work well together and why. Chances, are, they are going to come at us here. They don’t know about anyone else but me, but they will be prepared. So let’s make them feel safe.”

“What are the teams?” John asked, preparing for the fight.

“Colossus and Shadowcat will be our backup. You’re going to be at the pub, keeping an eye out. The people there are already expecting you. You’ll leave when Cyclops comes back.” Rogue paused for a moment, eyeing them carefully. Piotr opened his mouth to protest, but Rogue cut him off with a look. “I know you want your pound of flesh. You’re going to get it. I wouldn’t be surprised if a squad showed up there, too. You’ll know them when you see them. If you don’t, the natives will. All of the young men without wives and children will be there to support you. They aren’t trained, but their Irish. They’ll die happily for their own, and their too damn stubborn and proud to let others do it for them. They’re good fighters, though. It’s in their blood.”

She turned back to the others swiftly, for the first time, her gaze shifting to include Ororo and Logan. Of course, Scott chose that time to stroll in, looking a little worried. Rogue motioned to Kitty and Piotr, and they left without a word. “The majority will be attack the house. Storm, Jubilee, Iceman, and Cyclops will be the second wave. Once the path is clear, move in. No questions, Storm.” Ororo stopped midsentence, understanding the authority in the young woman’s voice. “This isn’t some kind of final exam. The four of you will be able to work well off of each other.

“Pyro, you will stay in the shadows until the majority are in this area.” She pointed to her map, drawing an imaginary line that was ten feet in front of the area a small piece of paper was sitting, depicting her yard. “Once that’s done, I want you to start a fire. Keep it under control, but make sure that it’s about five feet wide going out. And long enough to keep them in.”

“That’s too much,” Ororo interjected before Rogue could continue. “He’s not capable of something like that.”

“You don’t know what I’m capable of, Storm,” John replied with a smirk that reminded Rogue of when they were young.

“Make sure you stay covered, John. It’s safe to assume that Jean won’t bother with a mental scan until it’s too late,” Rogue said, ignoring the look of shock on Ororo’s face. “If she does catch you, throw everything you’ve got and burn the bitch, but keep her alive. I have some important questions for her.”

“Surely you don’t mean Jean Grey?” Ororo asked shocked. It was painfully clear that no one had let her in on the truth of the matter. “What would she have to do with this? Why would she even be here? Is this why you told me not to call her when I spoke to you, Scott?”

“This is it exactly, Storm,” Rogue replied before anyone else could. “Jean Grey set us up and sold us to these people. She didn’t call Logan when we disappeared, even though she had his number. And when I left, she broke into Xavier’s office and found out where I went to. She’s the one who told them where I was and if she’s not leading them, she’s with them. They wouldn’t give her the chance to disappear until they have me again.”

“Scott,” Ororo said, turning to her friend with eyes full of question. “This can’t be true. I know you both have had your differences in the past, but there has to be some kind of a mistake.” When Scott ignored her, keeping his eyes firmly glued on the wall, Ororo turned her pleads to Logan. “Logan, listen to reason. She couldn’t have…”

“ ‘Ro, get a hold of yourself, Darlin,” Logan whispered to her as he watched the skies out of the windows. Giant storm clouds were starting to form because of her mood change. As Storm took a few deep breaths, things began to clear. “She did, Storm. I saw her come out of the office myself, and her scent was all over the place.”

“Does this mean you won’t fight with us?” Rogue asked quickly. She knew that they could still pull this off without her, but Rogue wasn’t vain enough not to know that the extra person would help. “You won’t stand with us?”

“I’ll stand with you, but I can’t believe it. She was my friend, Rogue,” Storm replied angrily. “If what you say is true, then I will see it for myself tonight. And I will offer my apologies when this is over.”

“That’s all I ask for,” Rogue agreed with a tip of her head. “Logan and I will make up the first line of defense. We’re the only one’s who could survive the impact. And we’ll cause the most damage. Are there any more questions?”

“Yeah,” Bobby said quickly. Rogue was a little shocked. He hadn’t said a word since they arrived. His lips twisted into the shadow of the smile he once use to flash with ease, and it wasn’t hard to miss the playful light in his eyes. “What do we do now?”

“Wait. If they’re going to hit, it will probably be tonight. Pyro, take a book of something and find yourself a good little hiding spot. I’ll check on you periodically. You’ll act as our look out two. When you see them, send some kind of sign.”

“How will we know what the sign is?” Logan asked quickly, raising an eyebrow at the way the two smiled.

“You’ll know,” John replied with a laugh before heading out.

They stood quietly, watching the sun rise over the cliffs. She kept her arms crossed over her breasts as he held her from behind, his arms snaked around her waist. She could feel his warm breath against the sensitive skin just behind her right ear, and she knew that he was thinking the same thing she was. How long?

She had been sure that they were going to attack last night, had been almost positive, but nothing. No one came. Something was holding them back just now, something important. She just wished she knew what it was.

Her head jerked as she saw something move in her peripheral vision. She should have known better, though. They wouldn’t want to risk any investigations or leave any witnesses behind. John came strolling out of the bushes, a little worse for ware and a few leaves in his hair, but otherwise fine. He nodded to them, and she felt Logan nod back from behind her.

“Logan,” she said softly as she turned to look at him. John was still too far away, but she needed to get this over with now. “Why don’t you go in the house and get some breakfast? I need a moment to speak with John.”

Logan cocked an eyebrow at her, unsure of what to do. But what could he do? So he turned around and went to the house, his shoulders hunched. He still wasn’t sure where he and Rogue stood with each other. Only time would tell.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Rogue turned back just as John reached her. They hadn’t talked much in the last couple of months, only a few words here and there when she found herself sitting with the group. And there were no private words. No, both parties had gone well out of their way to keep away from each other.

But they couldn’t put it all behind them until they spoke, and Rogue had a feeling that now would be better than later.

“You and Logan?” John asked as he stood next to her. If she had been looking at him, she would have seen the sarcastic smile that kissed his lips and the sadness that darkened his eyes.

“I don’t know,” Rogue replied with a shrug. She felt her legs begin to weaken, and, telling herself that it was due to the lack of sleep, she gracefully sat down in the tall grass. John sat next to her, and, for a moment, she was reminded of the way they once were before corruption destroyed their world.

She watched him play with the grass, pulling on it while he watched the sun. “Why not?”

“Because he doesn’t know, yet. Not everything,” she replied pointedly. He stopped abruptly, catching her meaning. It was why they avoided each other, why they couldn’t look at each other.

John sighed, leaning back against his elbows and stretching his feet before him. “Why haven’t you told him? You haven’t told anybody, have you?”

“Nope. Not something that I wish to dwell on.”

“But you can’t help but to dwell on it?”

“Why haven’t you mentioned anything?” She asked angrily, throwing the question back. He had no right to question her decision when he had made the exact same one. “You didn’t even tell Xavier.”

“I’m not in love with the man. Are you going to tell him?”

“Yes,” she hissed between her teeth. “When this is all over, and then I’ll see what comes out of it.”

“I’m sorry, Rogue,” John said suddenly. It startled her to hear those words from him. She hadn’t been expecting it, and didn’t feel it was necessary. “I wish that I could take it back.”

“It wasn’t your fault, John." She shrugged gently. "What happened… If anything, it helped us endure everything else. It let us remember that we’re human, even if that wasn’t the effect they were looking for.”

She looked at him then, and saw all of the pain and hurt in his eyes. She wished that she could reach over and hug him, comfort him, but that was too much for her to consider. Touching him right now would be too painful, and would remind her of too many memories she wanted to block out.

“Tell him,” John said suddenly, leaping to his feet. “Don’t let him come to you blindly. Make sure he knows what we did, and that it was what we had to do to stay alive.”

“Even when we didn’t want to live.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

It was around midnight the next night when they got the signal. A small bird made of pure fire flew into the window above the kitchen sink, exploding across the glass in bright flames. No one could mistake the warning.

Rogue sat the cup of tea she had been drinking down before standing calmly and looking at each person under her command. She knew what they were capable of, and knew that they could handle themselves. With Shadow Cat and Colossus in town, she wouldn’t have to worry about the people that had accepted her into their community openly and free. “I’m going to go out alone first. Jean will not bring anyone close enough to startle me yet. She’ll want to keep this as quiet as possible. She still doesn’t know that the rest of you are here, and, if anyone comes out, we’ll loose our advantage of surprise. Wolverine will wait in she shadows until the first sign of an attack. Once the battle begins, the rest of you know what to do.”

She turned and walked away before anyone could object. She knew that Logan wasn’t happy about the last minute change of plans, but she hadn’t wanted to say anything sooner. It wouldn’t have sat well with her if she had spent the entire time arguing with him. As if was, he stalking behind her, waiting for her to turn around. She refused to.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Jean was standing outside of her yard, looking mildly surprised when the front door opened and Rogue stepped out without having to be summoned. Rogue walked out quietly, trying to look calm and unassuming as she did. She knew she had thrown the telepath off, but it was necessary, and, besides, she could always sat say she had seen her on her way up from the kitchen. Rogue left the front door wide open, leaving no barriers between herself and her people waiting patiently inside.

“Rogue. I didn’t think you would be awake,” Jean said with a nervous little laugh. “How are you?”

“I’m good. I was on my way up when I thought I saw someone outside,” Rogue replied brightly, forcing a friendly smile. “I don’t mean to be rude, but, well, what are you doing here, Jean? Is everything alright?”

As she spoke, Rogue made her way down the porch and through her yard, getting as close as possible.

“Actually, Charles sent me to fetch you. There’s been an accident, and we need your help,” Jean said quickly, a worried expression setting into her eyes. “We need to leave immediately. We can come back for your things later. I’m just glad you’re still dressed. It will save us some time.”

“I wonder why Charles didn’t send Scott?” Rogue asked as stopped just inches in front of the other woman. For a second, Rogue wondered why Jean had yet to use her abilities. Why hadn’t she scanned the area when they landed? It dawned on her just then, the true reason, and Rogue couldn’t help but relish in the irony of it. “Was it Charles who sent you, Jean? Or was it the people you sold us to the first time?”

Jean paused, shocked by the question, and Rogue knew that there was no more element of surprise. At least not for her. Jean reached for something attached to her belt, her fingers fumbling in surprise, but Rogue was faster. She grabbed it before Jean could unbuckle it, holding onto it tightly as Jean’s body stiffened with fear.

Holding it in her hand, feeling it’s cool structure with her bare fingers, Rogue knew exactly what it was. The device that controlled the chip in her neck.

“Where’s yours, Jean?” Rogue asked sickly as she crushed the remote. “Who gives you access to your powers? When did you get your chip?”

“Rogue… It’s not what…” Jean was stammering now, backing up as she went. Rogue knew she had hit the mark straight on. Jean had been chipped, also. Just recently, too. Probably as early as this morning.

“They didn’t want to take the chance of you turning on them?” Rogue laughed as Jean turned and ran. She could have easily caught up to her but Rogue let her go. Jean would return with the soldiers who were waiting in the shadows, and Jean would lead them back here. Where would the fun be if Rogue stopped her?

And sure enough, Jean came back, a vicious and twisted gleam in her eyes, leading twenty mutants behind her. Two more in the air flew on wings of scaly skin and ice, and she figured there were at least four more lurking around, circling her. That meant at least twenty six all together. It would be a good fight.

Rogue waited until they were past the perimeter. And when the fire burst to life behind them, trapping them in her cage, she saw what her own army was up against. She saw their surprise as well as arms of tentacles and faces of spikes. She saw their shock as well as mutants who could move faster than sound and control the plants. And, most importantly, she saw their fear as well as those who could manipulate the ground and those who could control the insects. Rogue grinned as she through herself into the battle and laughed as she heard the feral growl behind here. These people had no idea what they had just stepped into.

~*~*~*~*~*~

She felt bone crush under her fist as her punch connected with the face of the woman who was trying to ensnare her in a bush of thorns. She smiled as the face caved in around her closed hand even as she heard the sickly sweet song of Wolverine’s claws impale the man who was coming up behind her. But there was no time to rejoice, for even as one man fell, there was another ready to take his place.

Her hand broke through spikes and rib cage alike as she grabbed and removed the heart of a man who thought his mutation couldn’t be penetrated. Oh! It was good to be invulnerable! She kicked high, shattering another man’s spine at the base of his neck as Storms lightning bold struck the woman who moved too fast to be grabbed.

She threw a man who could change his size into the side of a boulder, hearing his bones snap as Cyclops’ optic blast disintegrated the angels of hell flying over their heads to nothing but dust. And as she ripped an arm off of yet another, she felt the cold blast of Iceman’s abilities as it shot past her and froze the man who could make the earth move in mid jump. She watched as he fell to the ground, shattering into a million pieces.

And they all watched as Jubilee used her sparks to blind a man to the point that the skin around his eyes blistered and his sockets bled. And as he fell to his knees, screaming incoherently, Pyro walked up behind him, harnessing his control of fire and feeding it into the man’s open mouth. And no one moved to help him as he rolled around on the ground, clawing at his chest even as his useless eyeballs melted down his face.

And when his screaming finally subsided, Rogue turned and surveyed what they had done. Close to thirty mutants dead, some charred from Pyro’s fire or Jubilee’s sparks. Some reduced to nothing but ashes due to Cyclops’ blast and Storm’s lightening. And some body’s frozen to death instantly because of Iceman’s ice. But the majority were due to attacking the front line. Heads and limbs detached from bodies, claw marks and holes embedded in torsos. The majority were taken down by Rogue and Wolverine, fighting back to back, dancing so fluidly and moving so intimately together they could have been making love.

Rogue felt her heart leap as her gaze landed on the loan figure still breathing, entrapped in a block of ice that reached her waist, surrounded by a circle of flames too low to melt, standing in the middle of the battle field. Rogue smiled sweetly as she made her way to the other woman. She stopped in front of her, looking at her with eyes full of the promise of pain and torture.

“Rogue.” The voice was soft and pleading, and as she turned to confront the person who dared to stop her, she found herself staring into eyes on the verge of tears. “You can’t do this, Rogue. She was one of us, our friend. What she did, it deserves punishment, but this isn’t justice. Hasn’t there been enough blood shed to quench your maddening thirst?”

Rogue looked at Storm, internally questioning the woman’s sanity. She knew Storm was doing the same, and wondered what conclusion she would come to. “She isn’t one of us, Storm. She hasn’t been one of us for a long time, if she ever was. She doesn’t just deserve justice. This isn’t about justice. This is about vengeance. For all of us who had our lives taken from us and our hope destroyed.”

“But this isn’t right, Rogue. This isn’t who we are.” Storm said softly.

“Don’t be a hypocrite, Storm. Only a moment ago, you were fighting along with us, helping us do this,” she replied, rolling her gaze over the carnage around them. “This wasn’t beneath you.”

“These people were going to kill us. The only way to stop them was to kill them first, even I saw that.” Storm’s tone became cold, indignant. “She’s not a harm to anyone now. She’s been restrained. Isn’t that enough? Do you insist on playing judge, jury and executioner?”

“Yes, Storm.” Rogue took her stance, willing to fight for her right to pass her verdict. “You have no idea what we were put through in that place, no clue what she sold us to, so don’t even try to understand. You’re a goddess among those with extraordinary gifts. You have no stake in this, Storm. She betrayed us all. God’s have no say in how lesser beings handle betrayal among their own. Walk away now.”

Storm didn’t know what to say. It was obvious that no one else was going to back her up, but that wasn’t a big surprise. Jean had betrayed them all in one way or another. The six children who were no longer children had their innocents raped and murdered by her. Logan had his faith slaughtered. And Scott had his love ridiculed. All by Jean. Storm stood straight, understanding dawning on her that nothing she could say would change Jean’s fate by any means, and unsure if she could even convince herself that it was necessary. She turned and made her way back up the hill to the house to shower and await the other’s return. She would not put her life on the line for a woman who had not only destroyed their trust, but had twisted it and manipulated it to her own advantage.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Rogue watched until Storm was safely in the house before turning back to the woman who had taken everything from her. She looked into her eyes and saw fear and hate. But she also saw pride and knew that Jean was unashamed for what she had done.

“We’re going to kill you tonight, Jean. It’s your decision how it’s done. Just remember, the chip in my neck is useless now. I can get all the information I need from you with a single touch if I must. But if you give it to me freely, then I’ll have mercy and you will die quickly.”

She heard the footsteps coming from a distance, crunching through the tall grass and over the bodies still lying around. She turned to see Shadow Cat and Colossus walking along together, holding hands. Both were unsmiling, but both were covered in blood and there was a gleam of softness in Shadow Cat’s eyes. They had their own battle it seemed.

“Ten,” Colossus said brightly as they stopped to speak to Rogue. “There were ten of them, and Kitty and I and the men from the village took them apart as we spoke of fairy tales. And when it was over, we sat around and drank pints of Guinness and glasses of whiskey as we shared our feelings on the matter. I think I like these Irish, Rogue. They’re good people and are friendly enough to open their homes to us for the night. Kitty and I will be staying there, along with whom ever wants to join us. You’re cottage is nice enough but too small for us all.”

“I would appreciate it,” Rogue replied with an easy smile, ignoring the woman behind her for the moment. “I actually would appreciate it if you took Scott , Jubilee, Bobby, and Storm with you. Logan, John and I have a few things we’ll need to discuss. And find out if there is an inn close by that we can book rooms for the next week or so. I don’t want to leave these people with a mess this large. They’ve been too kind to me.”

“And what about her?” Kitty asked, pointing to Jean and getting Rogue back on track. “What are we going to do about this?”

“It all depends on what she gives us.” Rogue replied, her lips twisting into a feral grin.

~*~*~*~*~

Jean’s nose was broken. Her right eye was swollen and her left was on it’s way. Three fingers from her left had were twisted beyond repair, and all five from her left were completely gone, tore from their sockets. And yet she still hadn’t said a word.

“Why won’t you tell us anything, Jean? We have a right to know. Who are they? And why?”

“I can’t tell you who they are, exactly,” Jean said with a sob, tears streaked with blood leaking from her good eye. “They came to me when I was in Washington, just before it happened. They said that they were looking for mutants with extreme gifts, mutants who could fight for us. Then they told me that these mutants would be more military established, and that they would be elite. That they would be the few who would have to sacrifice to protect the rest, and that they would be more than adequate and better trained that anyone else. They also promised that they would help with my research on mutant manifestation and how to help those who couldn’t learn control. Rogue. You have to believe me, this… I didn’t want this. I didn’t know that this was going to be what happened. They weren’t supposed to kidnap you, only talk to you.”

“Then why didn’t you speak up when we went missing? Why didn’t you call Logan or tell Xavier? Why did you leave us to rot?” Rogue asked, punching her in the face, watching as her lip burst over her knuckle. “Because you were selfish. You knew what was happening and you could have put everyone on the right track. Instead, you kept it to yourself and let watched as everyone scrambled around you. You enjoyed the fact that Scott was too preoccupied with the search to see what you were doing with other men. And when he caught you, you wouldn’t even throw him a bone. You enjoyed that they were helping you with your research and that they were coming up with a way to control abilities. But that back fired on you, didn’t it? What did you do to get chipped, Jean? Did you try to stand up for us?”

“No,” Jean said sharply, turning away from Rogue’s scrutinizing gaze. “No. I didn’t.”

“You refused to face us, didn’t you? Because you knew what I was capable of. But you came because you thought I was alone.”

“I didn’t know they were here. I thought that they just wanted you. I thought that if I brought you back to them, then they would forget about the others.”

“That’s all I need to know. That’s all anyone needs to know,” Rogue said simply, turning to Kitty. “Kill her. Squeeze her heart until it bursts, but leave her body intact. Xavier asked for that. And for all he’s done to help the rest of you, I think we should give him that.”

They watched as Shadow Cat walked gracefully to Jean, not even flinching at her screams. They watched as she phased her hand into Jean’s chest, her arms flexing as she found what she was searching for. And as they heard the audible pop that escaped Jean’s mouth among her screams and watched as Kitty removed her bloody hand from the woman, they all knew that it was over for now, and that they would finally be able to get a full nights rest even for only a night.

Once the echoes of Jean’s screams subsided, Bobby turned to Rogue, a question in his eyes that didn’t need to be spoken. It was one that they were all thinking.

“What about the others.”

“They won’t stop, I know. But we cannot find them all and tear them apart like this,” Rogue replied, gesturing to Jean’s lifeless body. “We’ll take her back and regroup. We’ll go on with our training and we will prepare for when they show themselves and what their true intentions are. And, when that happens, we’ll fight them and continue to fight until they are all destroyed. No one will know about them but us and Xavier. No one outside of the team will know any of our plans, and no one will be permitted to join unless we all agree that we can trust them. We will do all we can to make sure that this will not happen again.”

She looked at each one, her eyes skimming over the blood and gore shining on their clothes and skin in the moon light. “Get Storm and go to the village. Walk it. You can take the time to think. Get some sleep and tomorrow, start moving the bodies. Take you time, though, and enjoy the company the Irish will provide. We’ll stay here as long as we need to, to get the blood lust out of our systems. But as for tonight, well, John and Logan and I have to talk.”

With that, Rogue turned to the life less body, walking through the fire as if it was nothing but a puddle and punching the glass hard enough to break it. She let the body fall to the ground, gazing at it with cold eyes and slouched shoulders. Picking it up, she carried it towards the house. The others followed her silently.

Scott realized that this scene before him was one that he would always remember with fondness. It was the moment in his life that he would always remember as the time he stepped down and allowed someone else to take control of the team he had lovingly led. He felt only the smallest bit of sadness at the thoughts, but knew that it was the right thing to do. The would follow her to the ends of time. The Rogue was no longer alone. She had a team, and a family, now, that would follow her to the ends of the earth if she asked.

If there was a better time to have this conversation, Logan didn’t have a clue when it would be. They were still reeling from the fight, still tense and itching for more. This was the time for things come out in the open, this was the best time to ask her questions that she wouldn’t try to hide from, and this was the only way he could get her to open up. It was an old scar that had been wounded again in her mind. The memories draining from the cavity like blood, the pain twice as much and more powerful. She had been careful not to absorb anyone, not wanting to mix their memories with her own.

And now they sat around the kitchen table, cups of fresh tea sitting in front of them, cooling and going untouched. John was set strategically in front of him while Rogue say in the middle, eyeing him closely.

“You want to start talking, Darlin?” Logan asked quickly, trying to get things moving. “What happened to you in there? Both of you?”

“Scott’s already told you the sum of it, I assume,” Rogue replied, looking into her cup without any real interest. “At least, the parts that I’ve told him?”

“Yeah. But I have a feeling that you didn’t tell him everything,” Logan replied, cocking an eyebrow at her. “What are you still hiding?”

“Everything,” she whispered softly. “The things I told him… That I told you. That was the easy stuff. I didn’t say anything about the beatings I took, or about the first guy who was in charge of me and the things he did to me. He tortured me, Logan. He tortured me because he thought I knew something he wanted desperately to know.”

“What was this?” Logan asked slowly, a cold hand clamping over his heart. He had an idea that he already knew, but he still needed to hear her say so, still needed her to say the words. “What did he want from you, Rogue?”

Rogue looped up at him again, her eyes boring into his. She didn’t blink, didn’t move. Logan wasn’t sure if she had stopped breathing or not. “His name was William Stryker. He was this big military person. Logan, he wanted to know where you were. From what I could gather, he was once in charge of this military program called Weapon X. He was the one that gave you your claws and your name.”

“Do you know what happened to him? Logan asked softly, his eyes shifting from John to Rogue.

“Dead,” John said quickly, his eyes shining bright, his body language unresponsive. “He screwed up one too many times. Wasn’t doing what he was supposed to do. Too worried about finding you. And when he saw that Rogue had the tags, he kind of lost it.”

Logan looked at John questioningly, his eye brow rising swiftly. “And how would you know about this?”

“Because I’m the one that killed him,” John replied with a shrug. “It was part of my learning experience. How to kill a man with out care. It’s how the operation was run. There were ranks. Rogue was at the highest, and, as far as I know, she was the only one. I think they relished in the fact that she could take a life with a single touch. They were trying to figure out a way around her side affects, though.”

“Kitty and John were stealth,” Rogue interjected quickly, wanting to move the conversation forward. “They were being trained on how to get past enemy lines and infiltrate. Spies, I guess. They were being trained to answer directly to me and no one else.”

“Which explains why Kitty was able to do what she did out there without a second thought,” Logan said thoughtfully, referring to the way Kitty killed Jean. “And the others?”

“Grunts manly. I think that Colossus was given a higher ranking, but it wasn’t by much.” Rogue sighed, sitting back, knowing that both men’s eyes were on her. “We were a strict military unit, Logan. Better than the Marines, really. There were no second guesses, only following orders. They demolished who we were and rebuilt us from the ground up. They made us almost inhuman.”

“And what about you two?” Logan watched Rogue’s eyes widen in shock, saw how John’s body stiffened. He had hit a sour topic, but he wanted everything cleared. “What happened between you two?”

John and Rogue looked to each other, and there was no denying the pain the swam in her eyes, not the sorrow expression on his face. They were still looking at each other when Rogue spoke, and Logan realized that he was just a spectator watching them, looking in on their lives. “John and I… We didn’t have anyone else, Logan. You have to remember that. I was kept mostly isolated from the others. Other than a few experiments and to watch them while they trained, I wasn’t to have any contact. Even most of the guards lacked the proper authorization needed. I was told that I was better and more valuable than the others and they were beneath me. I was beaten and rapped and tortured. All because I wasn’t willing to lean before them, I didn’t want to become their little pawn.”

Rogue paused, and Logan wondered if this was all she was going to share now. Finally, after a few seconds, she looked to Logan and began again. “My chip was placed around the same time, but it was before I was to kill Carol. We were still in the experimenting stage, and they scientists were curios about something. So, they started letting me see a few of the others, one at a time, of course. The first few, well, they were randomly selected. I hadn’t known them before, and, from what I could tell, they had been around a lot longer than I was and had been institutionalized. There were a couple of times that I was happy to find that I was better trained than they were.

“Finally, after the third one made no head way, they took a different route. They brought John in. And, suddenly, I wasn’t alone any longer. Here was a familiar face. A little battle worn and weary, yes, but familiar and I had something that I could grasp on to. It was how they got to both of us, how they were able to bend us to do what they wanted.”

“We would do anything not to lose each other again,” John said sadly. “The others, they weren’t like us. They were just trying to stay alive, and if that meant following orders, well, that’s what they were going to do. I think Jubilee might have tried to fight back, but she paid for it, dearly. She set the example. Grunts come a dime a dozen and any insolence from them would not be tolerated.”

“They were the ones,” Rogue continued when John looked away, “who didn’t have either the ability, like Kitty, or the personality, like John. The grunts had the worst of it if they didn’t conform. They were told frequently that they were the easiest to replace. Jubilee’s strong, but it wasn’t a good idea to push too hard when you’re a grunt.”

“And it was different for Kitty,” John jumped in quickly before Logan could ask any questions. “She wasn’t strong enough then to take what they would have done. She wasn’t mentally capable of it. She would have lost her mind. You remember how she was before.”

“So what about you two? What did they make you two do?” Logan felt his stomach do a flip as he asked the question he wasn’t sure he wanted an answer to. He didn’t know how he would feel if he found out that they had been lovers or something on that line. He knew that he would have to get past it, but he wasn’t sure how he could really do that.

“I’m not proud of it, Logan. But it was what we had to do. And we were good enough at it that no one suffered.” Rogue said defensively. Logan felt his curiosity pique at that. What was she talking about?

John sighed, sitting back in his chair, closing his eyes. Logan caught the salty scent of tears emitting from his, and he realized that the young man wasn’t just trying to fight back the memories, but the emotions as well. Rogue was breathing slowly, her own eyes closed, gathering her thoughts.

Logan waited patiently, knowing that this was hard for both of them, but also safe in the knowledge that they would tell him what had happened before the sun finished rising.
Suddenly, Rogue opened her eyes, and he could see the pain etched in her face. He suddenly realized that her eyes were a thousand years older than before when she was a skinny little slip of nothing hiding beside his bike. And, to think, he almost left her on the side of the road. Where would she be now?

“For awhile, until they were sure there wouldn’t be any more surprises with the chip, John and I were trained together.” Rogue’s voice was eerie and slow, her eyes vacant, and Logan had the distinct impression that she was caught in the memories. “When they knew without a doubt that there would be no other problems, a team was formed to bring in what they called new recruits. There was a list of those that were specifically chosen for the abilities they possessed, and we were told that anyone else was dispensable. We were not to leave behind any witnesses and to look out for others that had not been discovered. There were to be no one with obvious mutations. Only those who could at least pass for human. At least for the most part.”

“We were good at what we did, Logan. And we didn’t have a choice in the matter. Not really. One of the men was given the device that would control Rogue’s mutation and I had a very limited amount of fire that I was able to work with. Fighting back was futile.” John didn’t open his eyes while he spoke. It was almost as if he was trying to stay out of it, distance himself from the conversation as much as he could.

Rogue shook her head, continuing, her voice colder now. She didn‘t want to be interrupted again, and both men at the table now knew so. “There were five of these recruits all together. The first three went smoothly enough. No real mishaps. I was able to put them down with a simple touch. The first was on his way home from school. African American male. Seventeen years old. High school senior looking forward to graduation in a few weeks. A mutant in hiding. Ability to darken and reshape himself until he could pass for a shadow. Very useful for a stealth position. Unfortunately, very gullible for a pretty face in distress. He went down with a single touch. He was one of the few rescued among us and is now back at the mansion. He’s the only one that ever forgave us for what happened.

“The next was a woman in her early twenties. She was on her way home from a receptionist job that she had just started. Half Caucasian, half Japanese. Street hard. High intelligence that would have taken her far if she had been given a decent shot at life. But between the poverty status of her parents and a school where the teachers were more interested in keeping the students alive rather than teaching something above the minimum basic programs needed to function in society, she didn’t have a chance. Then there was her mutation. She could sense other mutations. Great for recruitment. She was going to make it easier for them to find more. She knew what I was before I even saw her. Not naive, but she came willingly. Stating that anywhere was better than here. A week after our return, Colossus was given the order to dispose of the carcass. We were sent out again. It seemed that her mutation was ideal, but not powerful enough. Disposable.” Rogue’s eyes narrowed at the memory of being told what had happened. The girl hadn’t been able to sense a mutant more a mile away. “The next went much the same way, except there was a slight problem. She was sixteen years old and making out with her boyfriend at the time. She was mutant, but he didn’t know. When we showed up, she resorted to trying to fight us off. Shot one of the guys with a ball of plasma. Her boyfriend went running. John set him on fire.”

Logan’s eyebrows shot up at the casual way she said it, his gaze shifting to John, who only shrugged his shoulders. “I did what I had to do.”

“The next two were different. Together and special.” Rogue rolled her eyes as she spoke again, not particularly caring. “They were brother and sister. Only about a year apart. Somewhat telepathic. Could speak to each other through a psychic link only they shared. The older, the boy, was twelve and he was able to talk to machines. A hacker, if you will. His sister, the younger one. Well, she was more special. She was a strong empath and capable of manipulating dreams. She could take your worst nightmare and twist it until you were sure it was real. She was only ten years old.

“We found them, underground. They were living among the Morlocks.” She raised an eyebrow at him, questioning whether or not he had heard of them. When he shook his head in agreement, she went on. “We had to kill quiet a few to get to them. I wanted to get the hell out of there, but our orders were stern, urgent. Under no circumstances were we to return without them. I was personally informed that my mutation would be short circuited and I would be left to the mercy of the Morlocks. So we took them, and left behind a massacre”

“What happened to them?” Logan asked soberly. He had known that there were even more powerful mutants out there, stronger than he had seen, but this was almost too much for him to comprehend. “I didn’t see anyone like that out there, and their was no one like that back at the school?” He could vaguely remember the first boy she spoke about. He had seen him a few times, going from here to there, catching his scent when he was using his mutation to blend in. Logan hadn’t thought anything of it.

Rogue paused, taking a sip from her now cold cup of tea, her nose scrunching at the taste on her lips. “Andrew, the boy; he died during one of his experimentations. They didn’t realize how powerful he was, assuming that he had just come into he and his sister had just come into their abilities. He was strong, both physically and in mutation, but… His mind was weak. It gnawed at him, the way he and his sister were being treated. The way he was being used. They brought in a computer one day, just your average laptop. Cheap. The kind any Joe Public would own. They pushed him. His mutation beyond what they assumed he was capable of. Really, he had reached far beyond what they wanted. So he pushed further, and ignored their commands to stop. He continued when they pleaded with him to stop. He ignored their protests, ignored their threats. He even ignored his sisters voice in his head, begging him not to do it. He pushed until his powers flew out of control and became too much to contain. He pushed until his body ran out and his brain exploded within his skull.”

Logan was silent, unsure of what to say. He didn’t like how this was going, the things she was confessing to. The Marie he knew wouldn’t have allowed that to happen, would have stopped it or given up her life. He couldn’t help but wonder if maybe they had broken her a little more than she was willing to admit to herself.

“The girl, Odette, she never forgave us. She lived through our rescue, and, when she finally saw me again, after we were back at the mansion and she was preparing to leave for that school run by Emma Frost, she let me know that I would burn in hell for what I put them through. I think she lost her mind when her brother killed himself. She had his voice inside her head for so long, it was apart of her. I think I would understand how losing it could drive you crazy. I don’t know what I would do without mine.” Rogue looked away then, unsure of what he was going to do. She wouldn’t hold it against him if he walked away right now, but it would still hurt. She didn’t give him a chance to, though. She couldn’t take it right now. Instead, before either him or John could stop her, she stood from her chair, knocking over and breaking her tea cup from the table, and turned and walked away. She was mentally and physically exhausted. Any questions he still had would have to wait until morning. If he was still here.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“We were lovers while we were there,” John whispered as he poured the last of the broken china into the garbage can. “It was all that we had, really. All that we could hold on to when the darkness came for us. I think it was what kept us sane, the knowing that we were far from being alone.”

“I really don‘t think that I want to hear this,” Logan replied slowly. He didn’t want to know how they had clung to each other. He didn’t want to think of how she had to give herself to someone else just to keep her mind.

“Of course not, but you have to. If you want to understand her, you have to,” John said, turning to stare at him with fire in his eyes. “We were lovers, but we were never in love. We found comfort in each other’s bodies after they put that damn chip in, but, in our minds, especially hers, we were with other people. The people we always wanted to be.”

“And who were you thinking of?”

“This person or that. Women that most boys want. Movie stars, singers, porn stars. It didn’t matter. No one I really thought that I could have. But that’s beside the point.” John paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, hoping that he was making the right decision. “The point is who she was thinking about, Logan. We both knew that we weren’t making love to each other, but just mutually using one another. It doesn’t make it right, but, for the time, it didn’t really matter. It was human. We weren’t monsters when we were together in the dark. And we could see happiness, even if we both knew that it would disappear when the sun rose. She called out your name in the night, Logan. She called for you as if you could hear her, as if you were the one inside her body. And, every time, when it was over, it was for you that she wept for. She never gave up hope that you would come for her. Not until we were rescued by Scott and she realized that not only were you not there, but you didn’t even know. If four years, you hadn’t returned once to check on her. Not even a call. I think it was then that she wanted to stop loving you. I’m not even sure if she can, though.”

They stared at each other for a moment, both wondering what the other was thinking. John wondering if Logan was going to skewer him for the omission. Logan wondering why John didn’t just kill him and get it over with. Finally, John just nodding, strolling out of the kitchen and heading for one of the couches in the spacious living room where Logan had thought he was going to sleep. “Go to bed, Logan. She still loves you, even if she doesn’t want to.”

Logan paused before heading upstairs to the spare bedroom, wondering how in the hell he was going to fix this mess.

She watched the sky brighten with the dawn as her mind flooded with millions of thoughts and opinions. She knew that he was waiting for her down stairs. Knew that he had his own head full of questions to ask. She hadn’t slept at all the night before, wondering what he would start with. She hadn’t really given him any time to process and grasp what she told him before running out. But now he had spent the entire night thinking about it, no doubt just as restless as she had been.

But as the sky turned the crisp blue reserved for early morning and the world around her began to awaken, she knew that it was time to head down stairs. He would be waiting, and, although she was nervous, she knew that there was no running away from this. She would not be deemed a coward.

~*~*~*~*~*~

He was patiently pacing the living room floor, perfectly aware of John’s tired and amused eyes on him, watching. He had already growled at the boy a few times and all that got him was a couple of sleepy chuckles. He was just beginning to talk himself into going back upstairs and breaking down the door when he heard a familiar creek over head. A few seconds later, she was standing before him. Her hair was wild and tangled her eyes hard and sad, the flesh around them puffy. Her bottom lip was swollen, as if she had been chewing on it all night. And she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Neither of them noticed John throw on his shoes and hurry out of the door. Both just stood there for a few moments, studying each other, willing the other to speak first.

“I wish I had been there for you,” he spoke softly reaching for her before she could turn away. “I’m sorry, Rogue. I wish things had been different for you and that I could take back all those damn things they did to you. I’m sorry, Marie.”

She had thought she had cried all that she could the night before, but suddenly she felt her eyes begin to moisten again. She took a deep breath and held it, wishing that things had been easier for them. But wishing wasn’t going to get either of them anywhere. And nothing was going to change the past. “I am who I am, Logan. It doesn’t matter who I was before or what made me change. I only told you those things so that you could know, have some kind of insight. I am not going to be able to go back to being that scared little girl you almost left on the side of the road. I… I’m not who you left behind.”

“I know that, Marie…” Logan whispered back. “I liked who you were then, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love the woman you became any less.”

“Maybe I don’t love the woman I am, Logan…” She smiled at him sadly, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t want to be this. This monster. Don’t you get it, Logan? This isn’t who I thought I’d be. And this damn well isn’t who you would want.”

“What are you talking about, Marie?” Logan asked quickly, his anger rising. “How the hell do you know who I would want?”

She smiled as she tapped her left temple softly. “You’re still up here, Logan. Everything that you had floating around in your head from the last time you touched me on top of that damn statue. I know how you felt for Jean. How you were attracted to her because of her grace and her elegance. I saw how you fell for her because you thought she was noble.

“And I saw you with her. That woman up in Alaska. Anna. She was elegant and smart and noble, too. But she was better than Jean, because she was sweet and soft and loving. She cared. I can care, Logan. And I can love you just as much as she did, but I can’t be that.”

“Marie, I don’t want you to change..”

“Good,” she said quickly. “Honestly, as much as I don’t like myself right now, I don’t ever want to be that. I will not be that damn weak again. It was being so fucking noble and sweet and all that bull shit that got us captured. I shouldn’t have fucking pulled over. I should have just kept on going. But I couldn’t. I was trained so hard to help anyone who really needed it, that my gut was gnawing at me to pull over. If I had just kept going, we would have been safe.”

“You still blame yourself.” His voice was becoming harsher as he spoke, realizing what she was saying. “Even after everything you found out, everything you did and orchestrated yesterday, how can you still fucking blame yourself?”

“Because I was fucking in charge, Logan. I was in command. It was my decision and my stupidity that got us captured. I should have assessed the situation before pulling over, and I should have been ready for anything,” Rogue said bitterly, unable to rein in her temper. “It was my responsibility. I will not go through that again.”

Logan didn’t know what to do. He had known that she was hurting, but he hadn’t realized how screwed up she really was. How the hell was he going to help her with this?

“Marie… You and I both know damn well that it wasn’t your fault. You were just a kid,” he began slowly, reaching for straws. “You didn’t know better, and, you’re right, they pounded that fucking nobility so far down your throat, you didn’t think twice. Now you know better. It’s a hell of a way to learn it, but you know the lesson well. Don’t let them fucking do this to you.”

“Logan, you really don’t get it, do you?” She said with a funny little shrug. “I’m not who you want me to be. I never will be. It’s that simple.” And she turned to walk away from him. But he wasn’t going to do this again. It was now or never for him. Reaching out, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him, not sure if her skin was on or not, and not caring either way. He pulled her close, kissing her with everything he had at the same time.

She tried to pull away from him, tried to fight off his hold and his lips. But she knew it was useless and allowed herself to melt into him as his tongue explored her mouth, caressing her own. She felt her knees grow weak and knew there was nothing she could do.

He broke apart from her, watching the color come back to her cheeks as she gasped for a breath. He wanted to do more, wanted to touch her and make love to her right here, but it was her turn. This would be her decision. She would have to make up her own mind and reach for what he was offering her.

“I love you, Marie. And you are exactly what I want. But I will be damned if you expect me to chase you around the world for the rest of eternity. That ain’t me. And it ain’t you. You take what you want, Marie. No matter if you deserve it or not.” Logan’s eyes were hard and angry, but she could clearly see the heat and passion in them. “I can’t promise you forever, Marie. Because, for us, that’s a fucking long time. But I can give you now. I love you. The woman you are right this moment, and I want to see the woman you are going to become. Do you want me or not?”

She didn’t know what to say. She wanted him. Had for years. But now that he was actually giving himself to her, she was stumped. Could she even allow herself to have this one thing?

“I… I have to think about this, Logan. I need time.” She wanted to fly into his arms and forget about everything that had happened. But it just wasn’t feasible. There was too much baggage now, to much animosity on her end. She needed to find herself again, to fix her head before she even considered what he was proposing. To figure out if this one thing that she wanted more than anything else would actually be good for her.

He saw the wonder on her face, and the questions in her eyes. He pulled her in close again, this time so that her body was flush against his. His eyes met hers, saw the fear in them, and knew that he would have to squash that.

Going in slowly, he kissed her again. Not as hard as before, but just as deeply. He tasted her mouth, running his tongue playfully over her lips as he coaxed her mouth open. It didn’t take much for her to begin to respond. He caressed her tongue with his, tasting her. His hands holding her close and tightly, in case she tried to back away. But even he knew she wasn’t trying to. Not now when her arms were wrapping around his neck, her right hand burying into his hair and pulling him even deeper into the kiss.

The moan that escaped from her throat was enough to stir him further, and he knew that she wasn’t going to protest as his hands began to explore her body, still not breaking the kiss that was supposed to be sweet and tender and turned hard and demanding.

He explored her body gingerly, touching her in places that made her moan louder each time. He loved the way her skin felt under his touch, the heat the he evoked in her. The way she said his name in that breathless way with the hint of a southern drawl.

She let her hands wonder lower in a frenzy, searching desperately for the end of the fabric that made up the grey t-shirt, hiding beneath the layer of jean’s he wore. Finding it, she quickly pulled it up and out of where it was tucked in, her hands quickly roaming under the fabric, her fingers eagerly teasing his skin. He growled appreciatively as her hands dove lower.

“Are you sure about this?” Logan asked, forcing himself to break the kiss. He needed to know that this was what she wanted. He had a feeling that once this started, he was not going to be able to stop.

“Yeah, Logan. I’m sure,” she whispered quickly, her voice pleading and wanting. “Don’t stop, Logan. I need this.”

He growled again as he pulled her to the floor with him.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The lay together on the floor of the living room, a tangle of body parts and pillows pulled down from the couch. He was holding her close, listening to her heart slow as she drifted in and out of sleep. They were completely naked and comfortable, neither wanting to move, even though both knew that the others may come in at any moment. Rogue wasn’t sure if she would be ready for everyone to know, though. She still wasn’t sure if this was what it looked like.

“I love you, Marie,” Logan said softly, not sure if she heard him. The quickening of her heart beat told him she had. “I mean it. I love you, and I want you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Marie.”

“Logan…”

“No, don’t do that,” Logan replied gruffly, turning to look at her. “I want you, and I want everything with you. I know you want the same. Marry me, Marie. Be my wife.”

Rogue’s mouth ran dry as she heard what he was saying. Really heard. But was she going to believe it?

She looked out over the land, awestruck by the view. It was all hers. It was still unbelievable what she had been able to accomplish in the last year. How she had finally found her footing and was able to dream everything before her to life.

The horses ran free in their coral. Five so far, but, with a little luck and a lot of work, she would be able to afford more animals and the hands needed to care for all of them. It was still magnificent to watch them, trotting around the coral, whining to one another, basking in their youth.

There were cows, too, in their own pasture, a bull and a few other animals. All incorporated into her own ranch. Sure, it wasn’t her money that helped produce all this, but it was her dream, and it was her blood and sweat in this land. She had helped build this house with her own two hands. Had made all the important decisions about what would go where and be used for what. The dream that she hadn’t even known she had until after the death of Jean Grey was real and tangible. There was only one thing missing, though…

And just as her thoughts began to trail off, a small car pulled onto the long driveway, making its way up the gravel. She waited until it was half way up before turning towards the stairs and making her way down. She forced herself to pace herself, to go slowly. She didn’t want to spook anyone, but she couldn’t help being excited. It had been a long time since she felt this way.

~*~*~*~*~*~

They stopped just as she was opening the front door. The driver side door sprang open and she couldn’t help but smile at the sight before her and the driver unfolded himself and stretched. But, boy, was he a pretty sight to see.

But that wasn’t who she was out here to meet. She waited patiently as the passenger door opened slowly. Who ever was in there was young, unsure of what to do. She waited while the person stepped out cautiously, studying the surroundings. She felt the cold, hard gaze land on her and stop as the door was slammed closed.

Rogue knew the history. Manifested with the ability to see through solid objects at thirteen. Eye’s turning to the color of purple grapes from a chocolate brown. The child had been tossed into someone’s basement. Beaten daily, scared for life, both physically and mentally. Chances are, emotionally, too. Rescued when a fire was started in the home. Some social worker to green around the gills took pity on her and tossed her to Xavier. A week ago, she got a call from the school. The kid wasn’t getting anywhere. So, Rogue took a chance. They were only expecting five. What was one more?

“This is it?” The voice was rough and weak, as if the child hadn’t used it in months. Rogue shook her head yes, walking down the porch steps and making her way to the girl.

“This is it. My name is Rogue.” She stuck out her hand, unsure of how to handle this. “I own this place, and I want to help you.”

“Alright. He said you were a good person,” the little girl replied, pitching her thumb at the man who stood off to the side. She reached out gingerly, and grasped Rogue’s outstretched hand. Rogue smiled, although she felt like screaming at the sight of the scars that ran across the girl’s face and down her neck. There were a few that Rogue caught a glimpse on the girl’s arm. “My name is Christy.”

“Well, Christy, there is some lunch set out in the kitchen. Why don’t you go on in and have something while I have a talk with your chauffer.” Rogue smiled as she shooed the girl into the house. “How was it?”

“Better than I thought it was going to be,” he replied with a wide grin. “Half the week it took us to get here, I was trying my hardest to get her to open up, and then, the other half, I was trying to get her to shut up.”

Rogue chuckled at the thought. If there was one thing he hated, it was disorder.

“Are the other’s here yet?” He asked. Before she could answer, they both turned to watch another vehicle pull into the drive. This one was a minivan. Rogue noticed the way it looked as if it was falling apart, her eyebrows knitting together with the memory of it leaving two weeks ago, brand new. But this was to be expected.

The minivan pushed along the road at a speed of about 25 miles an hour. Considering that her drive was a mile long, Rogue knew it would be a minute. “How are things back at the mansion?”

“Good. We miss you, though. All of you. John in the kitchen?” He looked toward the house forlornly, and Rogue assumed that he was already imagining sitting down to a good lunch. People were surprised to learn that John could cook, and well, too. Just as surprised when Piotr developed a knack for medicine and Jubilee proved to be a good counselor. Bobby and Kitty were in charge of the educational programs, and Rogue was in charge of everything else. There was a full staff, of course, but everything was run by the six of them.

“Go on in. I have something to deal with.” Rogue replied, looking back to the van that was almost to her.

“Just go easy on him,” he replied as he ran into the house.

When the van reached her, she couldn’t help the light smile that played on her lips. As he stepped out of the vehicle, stretching his muscles and popping her neck, it was plain that he had been through a lot over the last few weeks. He was tired, restless, and angry.

“Here are your keys, there are your kids. I’m going to bed for the next month. Leave me alone.” He tossed her the keys and went to move past her. Reaching out quickly, she grabbed his arm, bringing him close. She had been worried to death for the last three weeks. It was a rescue mission. Five children. Four boys, one girl. The eldest was seventeen, the youngest eleven. They were runaways who had been taken off the road and abused. Rogue shuddered at the memory of the pictures that had been placed on her desk by an anonymous source.

He stopped, the angry grimace melting away from his face as he saw the hurt and worry in her eyes. The kids were still piling out of the car, but she would get to them in a moment. This was something that needed to be done.

“I missed you, Logan,” she said softly, wishing that she could at least have better control over her feelings when it came to him.

“I missed you, too, Darlin,” he replied as he lowered his mouth to her, crushing her lips in a kiss that spoke more than any words could.

She lose all thought and connection with the world around her as she dove into that kiss. The only thing that pulled them apart was the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her.

Looking up in unison, they found Scott standing in the door way, trying to talk while chew around the large bite of sandwich he had in his mouth. “Why don’t you two get a room? There are children present.”

Rogue tried to look sheepish even as Logan pulled her closer to him and growled.

“Come on, kids. Let’s get you something to eat,” Scot said quickly, shaking his head in shame. “Don’t mind them. Their still on their honeymoon.”

The kids followed Scott into the house, and Rogue couldn’t help but blush when one of the kids asked if they had just gotten married yesterday.

“Nope, about a year ago. We were stuck in Ireland. I’ll tell you all about it over lunch.”