Wolverine growled for what felt like the millionth time that day and Rogue rolled her eyes for the millionth time.

“Okay, what is your problem?” She asked.

“This convention is a stupid idea. Did Chuck really need us to be here? And in uniform?”

“The professor is trying to improve Mutant-Human relations and he thinks starting a comic book about the X-men might help. I don’t know what you’re complaining about, Kitty and Bobby are at the booth looking like America’s mutant sweethearts and Remy and Jubes are helping answer questions. All we have to do is walk around and stay close in case of trouble.”

Wolverine began to say something but stopped when he was bumped into by some kid, dressed in black, with white-blond spiky hair and a huge oversized sword resting on his shoulder, that looked a little too real to even be considered fake. Rogue immediately placed her fingers over Logan’s knuckles to prevent the claws from making an appearance.

“It was an accident, sugar.” She placed a kiss on his lips to calm him down.

“This place is too fucking crowded.” He grumbled. “I hate crowds. Too many idiots walking around. Too many smells, also, can’t tell one from the next. I want to leave.”

Rogue placed her hand on her hip and rolled her eyes…again.

“Oh, okay you big baby. Let me go tell the others that we’ll be outside taking a break. Wait here, I’ll be right back.” Then she turned around and walked away, giving Logan a nice view of her ass in skin tight leather.

***************** One Hour Later ****************

“Hey Sugar.” Rogue drawled as she skipped towards him, her hands full of bags.

“Where the HELL have you been?” He demanded as he pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on. “And what is all this shit?”

“Oh this? Some of it was free, people were practically throwing it at me. And this,” She pointed to a navy blue, nylon duffel bag that was full, “I won. I was walking to the booth and some guy pulled me on stage.”

“Some guy touched you?”

“Oh relax. It was for a costume contest and I won for my, and I quote, ‘kick ass Rogue costume’.” She laughed but he just glared at her.

“That’s fucking great. While you were winning contest and getting more shit to take up space in our room, I was getting slapped.”

“What?” she asked in disbelief, “Who, in their right mind, would slap you?”

“After twenty minutes of waiting for you to get back, I went looking for you and I thought I saw you. It looked just like you, from behind anyway. Same uniform, same color hair, I even saw a little white in it. Had to be you. So I go over and hug you from behind. Of course it wasn’t you and she turns around and slaps me.”

Rogue slapped a hand to her mouth to stop the laugh that was threatening to escape.

“I’m so- sorry.” She choked out. “Didn’t you smell that it wasn’t me?” Tears were beginning to form in her eyes as she fought the laughter.

“I told you, it’s too crowded. People keep circling around, I can’t tell the smells apart. Anyway her boyfriend, husband, whatever, starts in on me about keeping my paws to myself. So I popped the claws.”

“Sugar, you didn’t. You know what the professor said.”

“I know but I don’t care. Don’t worry though, this guy took one look at them and thought they were the most realistic Wolverine claws anybody ever made. He said they were cool and asked to take a fucking picture with me.”

Rogue couldn’t hold the laughter in anymore. She imagined the big bad wolverine trying to scare the guy away but instead was asked for a picture. She wished she could have been there.

“Hey, it ain’t that funny darling.” He stood there waiting for her to finish laughing but she just kept going. “I guess these comic books Chuck thought of are really popular.” He looked left, then right, deciding on something. After a second he took a step to the left.

“Where are you going, big, bad Wolverine?” She laughed.

“To find one of those comic book stands. I’m curious about the books. Wanna see what the big deal is.”

At this she stopped laughing immediately. “No.” She pushed through the throngs of people to get to him before he got to the stands, having a hard time because of the bags in her hands. She ran the last few steps, pushing people out of the way. “No!” She screamed, knocking the X-MEN comic out of his hands.

“What the hell?” He stared at her, waiting for an answer as she caught her breath.

“Nothing.” She said quickly. “Nothing. Umm, how about we find ourselves an empty conference room around here and I can do that thing you like.” She said suggestively, getting close to him, while sliding the comic further away. She thought it was working until he grabbed her by the shoulders, pushing her away.

“No deal.”

“Are you sure? You know you like it when I twirl my tongue.” She licked her lips slowly as she pushed her chest out, causing her already low zipper to slide down a few notches.

Logan swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry. He did like it when she did that, so very much and he knew panel room three was empty … “No,” he said shaking his head to rid himself of the x-rated thoughts, “maybe later. There’s something in here you don’t want me to see. What is it? They made me fight like the Icicle? I got a stupid uniform?” Rogue just bit her lip and looked worried.

He took the comic away from her and started flipping pages, commenting as he read.

“Not bad, I’m still tough. Kicking lots of ass” … “Heh, told off Scooter good here. I’ll have to remember that one to use next time.” … “Look darling, here you are.” She tried to smile at him but it came out a grimace as she started to brace herself for the inevitable. “This is stupid. They said you were dating someone but they have us as friends. So who are you dat- What!!! The Cajun? I’ll kill him.” He turned and stomped away towards the booth. People, after seeing the homicidal rage on his face, had the good sense to jump out of his way this time.

Rogue threw her bags down and ran after him.

“Logan, no. It’s not his fault.” She pleaded. “It’s not like he wrote the damn thing.” Once the words were out of her mouth, Logan stopped suddenly.

“You know, darling, you’re right.” He opened the comic book in his hands and scanned the front page. “Who the hell is Stan Lee and where can I find him?”

*********** One Flight To L.A. (on a borrowed x-Jet) and One Flight Back Home Later *********

Rogue sat in her seat, after the jet landed, shaking her head.

“What?” Wolverine asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

“I can’t believe you did that. You flew across the U.S. to threaten the writer of our fictional lives.”

“So?”

“You damn near gave the poor man a heart attack when you popped the claws and threatened to shred his comic book collection.”

“Again, So? Got him to change the storyline didn’t I? Now Remy won’t ever be able to put his thieving mitts on you. Not in real life or in the comics.”

Rogue continued to shake her head in disbelief as Logan lit a cigar.

“You were right, sugar, the convention was a stupid idea.”