"You said we weren't going to do this." Miss Grey's voice sounds so far away. It doesn't matter, though. Nothing matters anymore. My Logan is dead. And, God, I'm the one who killed him.

It's cold. God, it's so unbearably freezing cold. Nobody could ever understand how cold I am at this moment. No one, other then Logan. But he's gone and I killed him. How could I have let him convince me that it would be safe? Scott said that the device on my arm could stop anytime, or could work until I'm dead. I never should have let him convince me to make love to him. It was our love that allowed him die. Why am I so stupid?

They are all saying that know what I'm going through. I think. It's so hard to hear them properly. They seem so far away.

Logan is far away. And he is never coming back. When the device stopped, it was so sudden that he couldn't pull away fast enough. And now I have his healing power. I know because after I saw him dead, I tried to kill myself with his razor. But my wounds healed before they even bled. Then THEY came in. I don't know how long it took me to realize that I couldn't die, or how much time went past before THEY barged in, and Mr. Summers carried me away from his room.

"We don't have any choice, Jean. I seems that every time we begin to reach her, she retreats further and further into her catatonic state. This is the only chance we have to help Marie."

"He's right, Jean. Rogue has been like this for over two months. If we don't do something soon, we could lose her."

How can they lose me if they don't help me right now? I'm already lost. The only way they could help me is if they could bring Logan back. But they can't because he is dead, and I killed him.

I'm so lonely without him. He was my lifeline. My reason for existence. HE used to say the same thing about me. Nothing could ever separate us, not even death. Because nothing could kill him, and he would save me if I was ever hurt. But I managed to kill the unkillable. What kind of monster does that make me? To have killed the very person who has saved my life twice.

My heart is aching for him. I need him to live. He was my hope. My being. My soul. And all of it died with him. And I know no matter what method they try to use to 'make me better' it won't work. Because they can't bring him back, and I don't want to go back into a world without him.