T-Minus 14 Days
--

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"WHAT the hell?"

"Uh, flowers, sir."

(grrrrr)

"Uhh, delivery? For a Miss...Marie?"

(GRRRRR)

"Uhhhh, sign here, please?"

"You expect me to give flowers that some other guy sent to my girl?

"Uh, well, I..."

"Who are they from?"

"Sir, I can honestly say I have no idea."

(grrrrr)

(footsteps approach)

"Logan, who is that standin' at the door?"

"I'm takin' care of it, kid."

"Are those roses? Logan? Who's getting roses?"

"Uh...are you Marie?"

"Why, yes Ah am. Are these for ME?"

(GRRRRRR)

"Uh, sure are, miss, if you'll just sign here..."

(scritch scritch scratch)

"Thank you, miss, REALLY. Thanks."

(footsteps run away quickly)

(SLAM)

"Logan, aren't they just gorgeous? A dozen pink roses, all wrapped in such pretty ribbon."

(grrrrr)

"Oh, don't be such a man. Ah know you can smell them. So much better than those old stinky cigars. They're so nice ..."

"Now waitaminute, I thought you liked my cigars."

"I'm surprised, Logan. I didn't think you would get me flowers."

(grrrrr)

"You mean ... you didn't send them?"

(GRRRRRR)

"Well, I'll have to look at the card -- oh how sweet! A secret valentine!"

(stomping fades away)

"Logan! Aren't we having breakfast?"

---

T-Minus 13 Days
--

"Did anyone see somebody by my room this morning?"

"I didn't hear anybody."

"You're at the other end of the hall, Logan."

"Logan can hear things downstairs, much less down the hall, Jean."

"That's so comforting, Marie."

"Anytime, Jean."

"Ororo, did you see anyone near my door this morning?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Does the guy skulking around last night count?"

"Stuff it, Logan."

"Guy? Skulking? Around Jean's room?"

"There was no one skulking."

"But if Logan heard someone skulking..."

"Scott, no one was SKULKING around my room last night."

"But someone was this morning."

"LOGAN."

"Jean, why do you think someone was outside your room this morning?"

"I got a present, Ororo, and I want to know who it's from."

"A present? Ah got flowers yesterday."

(grrrrr) (thunk)

"Must have been SOME flowers."

"Scott, did you send them?"

"Marie, I love you dearly, but why would I send you flowers?"

"What kind of flowers?"

"Pink roses, Ororo."

(GRRRRRR)

"Obviously Logan didn't send them."

(snickers)

"The card was signed, From Your Secret Valentine."

"That's how my card was signed!"

"What did you get, Jean?"

(rustle) "This bracelet"

(oooo) (ahhhhh)

"Man, that's nice."

"Well, Scott, I don't have to be psychic to know that it wasn't from you."

"Sorry."

"Logan?"

(grrrrr)

"Ah think you can count him out."

"Ororo, have you gotten anything?"

"No...not that I've found anyway."

---

T-Minus 12 Days
--

(rumblerumblerumblerumble)

"Scott?"

(rumblerumblerumblerumble)

"Scott? What are you doing? Turn off that bike."

"Something wrong, Ororo?"

"You've been out here ALL night. Running that bike. What's gotten into you?"

"I got a present, Ororo. From my Secret Valentine."

"You got a present."

"Yep."

"Let me guess."

"Go ahead."

"A carburetor?"

"How did you guess?? Did you send it??"

"No, Scott, you been out here messing with it all night. You even skipped dinner, which is very unlike you."

"Well, it's a really cool carburetor."

"Did you find out anything about the guy skulking around Jean's room?"

"Yesterday morning? Her Secret Valentine?"

"No, the night before, the one Logan heard."

"I didn't ask."

"Weren't you two going to try again?"

"Ororo, we've just grown apart. Maybe if we'd gotten married a couple years ago, it would have worked, but we do so many different things now..."

"Well. You two seemed to close. I just want you both to be happy."

"Well, I'm happy right now."

"With a carburetor."

"Yep."

"You're such a man."

"Yep."

"Logan got a present, too."

"From his Secret Valentine?"

"Yes."

"How did you find out?"

"Marie told me. He cancelled their date to play with his new toy."

"He'll pay for that."

"I'm sure he'll enjoy every minute of it."

"The new toy?"

"No, the payment."

"Those two, I swear. You tell the guy a woman is untouchable..."

"Tenacious does not begin to describe Logan when he decides he wants something."

"So what did he get?"

"A holographic fight simulator."

(silence)

"Really. Marie said he's been playing in the Danger Room for hours."

(silence)

"I just got a carburetor."

(shrug)

"Have you gotten anything, Ororo?"

"No, not that I've found yet."

---

T-Minus 11 Days
--

"So Marie got roses, I got this bracelet, Logan got a fighting simulator -can you believe it? Scott got a carburetor for his bike."

"Your bracelet is quite nice."

"Ororo got an absolutely breathtaking crystal figurine of a woman flying in the clouds."

"Quite fitting, I would say."

"It's not polite to peek, so I'll ask you straight out if you're doing this."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Jean."

"Fine, Charles, carry on with the innocent act."

"Really, Jean. I have no hand in it."

"Well."

"Besides, I've received a present as well."

"You did? What did you get?"

"A fine bottle of scotch. Would you like a glass?"

"Just a little bit, thanks."

"Very good."

"So you have no idea who's behind this?"

(silence)

"Charles?"

"Jean, just enjoy it. That's what Secret Valentines are all about. Why pry?"

"All right, I'll let it alone. Dinner was wonderful by the way. That chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake was sinful."

"I enjoy that restaurant immensely."

(silence)

"I hope you'll accompany me again, sometime."

"I'd love to, Charles."

---

T-Minus 10 Days
--

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Not you again."

"Uh, flowers, sir."

"No shit."

"Uh, delivery for Miss Munroe?"

"Yeah, all right, I'll take 'em to her."

"Uh, great. Thanks. Uh, you'll have to sign for them."

(scritch scritch scratch)

"So what ARE these? They smell different from the first ones."

"Uh, these are tulips."

"All of 'em?"

"Uh, yes sir. Two dozen, mixed colors."

"So women really go for these things, huh?"

"Oh, yes. Really the way to get their attention, you know? Add in a box of chocolate..."

"Chocolate?"

"Sure. The more expensive the better. Godiva chocolate is very popular. You should try it."

(grrrrr)

"Uh, well, have a nice day, sir, please see that those get to Miss Munroe..."

(footsteps running away)

(SLAM)

(footsteps approach)

"More flowers?"

"These are for Storm."

"Oh, she'll love 'em, Logan. Why dontcha take 'em to her?"

"Here, Marie, you take 'em. Wouldn't want Ororo to get the wrong idea."

"Logan, Ah don't think there's anyone here who would get the wrong idea after living on the same floor with us."

"Geez."

"Just imagine how jealous you could make Scott. He's got his eye on Ororo, you know."

"No."

"No, he doesn't, or No, you didn't know?"

"I didn't know."

"Logan, you are such ah man."

"Shit, Marie, the only woman I pay any attention to is you. You know that."

"Yeah, I know that, sugah."

"Go on to breakfast, I'll catch up."

"See 'ya, sugar."

---

T-Minus 9.5 Days
--

"So then Logan brings in these flowers for Ororo..."

"Logan got Ororo flowers?"

"Scott, Marie and I are having a private conversation..."

"Jean? LOGAN got Ororo flowers? Roses?? Marie??"

"Scott, calm down."

"But Jean..."

"Scott, Logan took the delivery at the door, that's all."

"Geez, Marie. I thought for a minute I'd have to fight the jerk for cheating on you."

"Ah don't think that's going to be a problem."

"Well, Ororo is a really gorgeous woman."

"Really."

(giggle) "Ah, Scott..."

"Oh sure. You know, that hair with her eyes being so dark..."

"Uh huh."

(snicker) "Sugah, if I were you..."

"And she's so ... I don't know, it's like she's music when she walks, she just FLOWS..."

"SCOTT?"

"Huh? Yeah, Jean?"

(smack) "You are such a man!"

---

T-Minus 8 Days
--

"Hey, Ororo, GREAT bunny slippers!"

"They're from my Secret Valentine, Marie."

"That's just wrong."

"Shut up, Logan."

"Aww, come on Marie. They're just silly."

"And your boxers aren't?"

(grrrrr)

"Boxers?"

"Ororo, he has this one set..."

"MARIE."

"What, Logan?"

(grrrrr)

"Anyway, they're made of..."

"MARIE!"

"Logan, is Marie embarrassing you?"

"Aw, shit."

"What's the matter? Are they ugly? Made of burlap?"

(giggle)

(grrrr)

"You may as well answer, Logan. I'm actually surprised you wear any underthings at all."

"What??"

"Well, that tough guy image, you know."

"He does it well, doesn't he."

"Yes. So, Logan? Is it boxers, briefs or nothing?"

"Ororo, when the hell did you get so nosy?"

"Logan, how can I ignore it when you and Marie live next to me?"

(ahem) "She has ah point."

(grrrr)

"Well, being as you're SUCH a man, I'll guess that you wear plain old cotton briefs."

"Ah, eeeuuw?"

(grrrrr)

"Or perhaps plaid bikinis?"

(GRRRRR)

"Maybe..."

"NO, I wear silk boxers."

(silence)

(silence)

(titter)

"Gee, morning Scott, Jean, Professor. Ah didn't see yah there."

(grrrrr)

---

T-Minus 7 Days
--

"So what's it supposed to be?"

"I believe it's a sailing ship."

"I just don't see it."

"You have to unfocus your eyes, Jean."

"I'm trying, Charles, it's just not working."

"Try standing back a bit further. Then let your mind relax, as if you were preparing to read someone. Then look around, but don't focus on anything."

(silence)

"That's so cool."

"Quite clever."

"What is this thing called?"

"The tag called it 'Magic Eye.' A picture buried underneath distracting imagery."

"That's just cool. Is it from...?"

"My Secret Valentine? Yes. I must say, I'm quite surprised to be included in all this."

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, Jean, I'm not usually included in social activities here at the school."

"Perhaps you should be. More. With us anyway. The team, I mean."

"It wasn't too long ago that you, Scott and Ororo were children."

"We've all grown up, Professor. Even Marie - she'll be eighteen in a couple months."

"Amazing."

"We've ALL grown up, Charles."

(silence)

---

T-Minus 6 Days
--

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Somebody answer the door!"

(silence)

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"SOMEBODY? PLEASE? It's that damn flower guy..."

(silence)

"Well, shit."

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Delivery."

"You're not the flower guy."

"Um. No?"

"So what is this?"

"Delivery for Professor Charles Xavier."

"I'll take it."

"Sign here, please."

(scritch scritch scratch)

"Flowers aren't gonna pop outta this thing, are they?"

"Um, I really couldn't say. Have a nice day."

(grrrrr)

(SLAM)

(footsteps approach)

"Who was that, Logan?"

"Delivery for the Professor."

"What's the label say?"

"Shit, Scott, I didn't look. My luck, it's flowers."

"As if we haven't got enough around here. And doilies. I hate doilies."

"What's a doily?"

"Those ugly white knitted things under all the flowers."

"Oh. Yeah. I hate those too. I figure I touch it, it'll disintegrate."

"Yeah, or get grease on it or something, and geez, you'd think someone pulled a fire alarm..."

"Hey, it's not as bad as not using a coaster and getting caught."

"Man, you didn't LIVE with Jean for two years."

"You gotta point. I mean, she's hot, but shit, the other crap you gotta put up with..."

"Logan, I believe we may have found something that we agree on."

"Yeah."

"Must be a sign of impending apocalypse."

"Right. So are you going to open it?"

"Well, he hasn't dropped a message into my head saying not to, so..."

(ching-shwkit)

"Guess we don't need a knife."

"So what is it?"

"Hmmm. 'Sing along and be the pop star you always dreamed of being. Invite your friends and enjoy the magic of the X-24 Ultrastereo Karaoke Supra Design.'"

"What's karaoke?"

"Says here that 'Karaoke is music with the lead vocals removed so that you can sing as though you are the star.'"

"Sing? Man."

"Must be for the common room."

"Well, let's go hide it somewhere. Like the garbage."

"Logan, the Professor ordered, he must have plans for it."

"As long as he doesn't make me sing."

"Logan, that's something else we agree on."

---

T-Minus 5 Days
--

"What is going ON in here?"

"DUCK JEAN!"

"AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!"

"Well, Ah told her to duck."

"Look out, Marie!"

"Thanks Ororo - hey - Scott's exposed!"

"WHAT?"

"Jean, get behind the barricade!"

"What an ass."

(titter)

"Ororo, did you just say..."

"Never mind, Jean. Give me that fruit cup."

"Marie, what in the world is going on??"

"Jean, it's a food fight, of course."

"WHY?"

"Well, it all started out with Ororo and Ah talking about our Secret Valentine gifts, and the guys were being really rude. Logan can be a real dick sometimes."

"One might think jealous."

"Yeah, but I'll forgive and love him anyway."

"That doesn't excuse Scott's comments."

"Ororo, sugah, I told you. Scott has the hots for you."

"He does?"

"He does?"

"Jean, get with the program."

"But, I mean, he didn't say anything to me."

"You're not his girl anymore. Ororo deserves a chance."

"Well, yeah, I'm just saying we're still friends. He hasn't said anything."

"Of course we're all still friends. Things got a bit out of hand with the food fight, though."

"Although it's nice seeing Logan and Scott cooperate, for ah change."

"ATTACK!!"

"Uh oh - more cooperative work - here comes Logan..."

"LOOK OUT JEAN!"

(silence)

(grrrr)

"Heh. That's a nifty trick, Jean."

"How long do yah think yah can hold him in midair with that pie?"

"Jean, hell, come on. We're just havin' some fun. Lemme down."

"Let him down Jean!"

"Shut up, Scott!"

"Ladies, assemble the ammunition under dear Wolverine here."

"Ah, yes m'am..."

"All ready, Jean."

"Shit, girls..."

"Logan, all's fair in love and war."

(SPLAT-SPLASH-SQUISH-GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR)

"I think now would be a good time for a strategic retreat. Maybe the banana pudding was a bit much."

"Good idea, Ororo. Come on, Marie - you can stay with me tonight if you have to."

"MARIE!" (grrrrrrrrr)

"That's probably a good idea, Jean."

---

T-Minus 4 Days
--

"So if we plan to set up a checkpoint here, we can achieve optimum egress in the case..."

"It stinks."

"Excuse me, Logan?"

"Sorry, Professor. Your plan's fine. I mean this Secret Valentine thing."

"Yeah, it sucks."

"Scott?"

"Sorry, Professor."

"Well, it appears that some discussion is needed. Over drinks, perhaps? The plan can wait. Logan, fetch the scotch bottle from the cabinet behind you."

"Hell, I'll walk a mile for good scotch."

"Fortunately that won't be necessary."

(tink-tink-tink-blurb-blurb-blurb)

"So, Logan, Scott, you have problems with the Secret Valentines?"

"Well, I was just thinking, some guy's trying to get in good with my girl, and I don't like it."

"Logan, I don't think you have to worry about Marie."

"Shit, Scott, she's gorgeous, you know? What guy wouldn't want her?"

"Well, I, well..."

"Logan, I think Scott means that the populace here at the school knows full well of your relationship with Marie."

"Yeah, I guess, Professor. Don't mean I'm not..."

"Jealous?"

(grrrrrr)

"Don't worry, Logan, I'm jealous too."

"You, Scott?"

"Sure, Professor. I mean, I've not had a chance to make things right with her, and if some other guy steals her away..."

"She's a looker, too."

"Thanks, Logan."

"Sure thing, Scott. Not that I'm ACTUALLY looking, or anything."

"And you're speaking of..."

"Well, Ororo, of course."

(ahem) "Of course."

"I was going to ask her out, but then all this started going on."

(blurb-blurb-blurb)

"Anyone else for a double?"

"Sure Professor."

"Please. Scott, Logan, call me Charles. I think we're all on the same level now."

"Same level, Chuck?"

"What do you mean, Prof...I mean, Charles?"

"I mean, I'm involved in all this as well."

"You are?"

"YOU'RE sending Marie roses??"

"No, Logan. I mean I'm getting presents, as well."

"Did you get some cool stuff?"

"This scotch was my first gift."

"That's some good scotch."

"That it is, Logan."

"What else? I got a carburetor."

"I heard. I also received that painting."

(silence)

"What is it?"

"That makes my head hurt."

"Geez, Logan. Rude much? What is it, Charles?"

"It's a sailing ship."

"Huhh? It's a buncha swirls."

"I'll help you see it later, Logan."

"Whatever."

"I also got a book of movie passes."

"Good for you, Scooter."

"Stuff it, Logan. What did you get that was so good? Besides the fight machine, I mean. And your silk boxers."

(grrrrr)

"As I was saying, I feel we're on the same level, at least in this situation."

"Why is that, Chuck?"

"I am feeling somewhat jealous, as well."

"No shit."

"Jealous? About who?"

(smack) "Scooter, you really are blind."

"Huhh?"

"I've been spending quite a bit of time with Jean lately."

(silence)

"With Jean."

(snort) "She's a looker."

(smack) "Shut up, Logan. MY Jean?"

"I wasn't aware that she is your personal property, Scott."

(snort)

(smack) "She's not, of course she's not. I mean, it's just that she hasn't said anything, and we're still friends, you know. We grew up here together."

"Yes. I know. You're ALL grown up now. Some more so than others."

(chuckle)

"Logan, I said shut up. What's so funny, anyway?"

(chuckle) "Here I thought Marie and I would have problems because she's so much younger than me. At least I've not been a father figure."

(groan)

"Are you OK, Professor?"

(chuckle)

(blurb-blurb-blurb)

---

T-Minus 3 Days
--

(chink-chink-chink)

"So what are we toasting?"

"Independence."

"Independence, Jean?"

"Why not?"

"Ah think we should toast to love."

"Love, Marie?"

"Well, it is almost Valentine's Day."

"What would you toast to, Ororo?"

"How about happiness?"

"I like it."

"Me too."

(chink-chink-chink)

"OK, Ororo, what's your wish for happiness?"

"Excuse me?"

(chuckle)

"Well, you want happiness. What do you want? Like me, Ah just want to keep the love Logan and Ah have. Ah get any happier with him, Ah just might explode."

"Or break a hole in the wall."

"Ororo!"

"Jean, you don't have to live in the suite of rooms next to them."

"Good point."

"Happiness, Ororo."

"All right, Marie. I want happiness..."

"...with?"

"Give her a second, Marie."

"She's stalling, Jean. Besides, we already know the answer."

"You do?"

"We do?"

"Sure we do, sugah. Ah've seen you watching Scott's ass when he runs track."

(silence)

"I'm sorry, Jean."

"Ororo, sweetheart, you're one of my dearest friends. If you think Scott can make you happy, I say go for it."

"Really, Jean?"

"Absolutely."

"You deserve to be happy, sugah."

"Jean, Marie, you two are my best friends."

(chink-chink-chink)

"So, Marie wants love, I want happiness...how about you, Jean?"

"Independence."

"From men?"

"Hell no. Just from being expected to take care of a man. Just for once, I want a man to take care of me."

(sigh)

"Logan's pretty good at that."

"Well, Marie, it appears he's taken."

"True."

(chink-chink-chink)

"So what about the Professor?"

(splutter-spray)

"Thanks, Jean, this blouse is silk."

"Sorry, Ororo. Marie - why would you bring up Charles?"

"Charles. Oooooo."

"Sounds like they're cozy already, Marie."

"We have to work together a lot because of my gifts."

"Yeah, working on telepathy requires fancy dinners out in New York."

"Marie!"

"And I know he takes time to choose the perfect suit. I had to take him some papers and his rooms were a mess. That was right before your last...date."

"Date?? He's practically my father, Ororo."

"Jean, you're all grown up now."

(sigh)

"Jean. Honey, you can't lie to us."

(siiiiigggghhhh)

"Jean?"

"He's just so...elegant. Handsome. Well-spoken."

"Uh huh. Go on, sugah."

"He thinks of me as a daughter."

"Bullshit."

"Well said, Marie."

"I just don't think..."

"Well, we do, Jean. I mean, hello? He likes you, you like him..."

"Jean, the wheelchair isn't the problem, is it?"

"OF COURSE NOT!"

"Eek. Just checking."

"He is more than man enough for any deserving woman."

"Uh huh. Go on, sugah."

"Give me the damn bottle."

---

T-Minus 2 Days
--

(BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP)

"INTRUDER ALERT. INTRUDER ALERT"

"Logan, wait for me..."

"Marie, I can handle this. Stay safe..."

"LOGAN!"

(footsteps run off)

"What's the matter, Logan, get caught with your pants down?"

"Shut up, Scooter. At least I'm getting some."

"Geez, that's harsh."

(footsteps run down stairs)

"INTRUDER ALERT. INTRUDER ALERT."

"Shit, he must have went up the back stairs."

"Go on, I'll check the service stairs."

(footsteps run up stairs)

"STOP right there!"

(silence)

"Who the hell are you, and what are you doing here? I SAID STOP!"

"Well, well, aren't you just a prime spezimen of man. Very hot. Macho, even."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

ZINGZINGZINGSINGSINGSINGZINGZINGZING

(footsteps approach quickly)

"LOGAN?? What are yah..."

"Every man wants to be a macho man
To have the kind of body always in demand
Joggin' in the mornings, go man go
Work up to the hill's top, muscles grow
You can best believe me
He's a macho man
Glad he took you down with anyone you can
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Macho, macho man
I gotta be a macho man
Macho macho man
I gotta be a macho
Macho, macho man
I gotta be a macho man
Macho macho man"

"Wow. I didn't know he could move his pelvis like that."

"JEAN!"

"Sorry, Marie. But. WOW."

"Behind you!"

"What a good-looking woman. I bet you danze juzt az well az your macho man here."

"He's MY macho man, thank you..."

"Maybe zhe can help you out, then."

"Jean! Look out!"

ZINGZINGZINGSINGSINGSINGZINGZINGZING

"You are the Dancing Queen
Young and sweet
Only seventeen
Dancing Queen
Feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance
You can jive
Having the time of your life
See that girl
Watch that scene
Dig in the Dancing Queen..."

"Oh mah God."

"Well now. Your macho man wantz to be himzelf, your friend iz zinging about you ... how about you, my lovely? A particular tune in that pretty head of yourz?"

"STAY away from me! I can hurt you!"

"I don't have to touch you, Danzing Queen..."

ZINGZINGZINGSINGSINGSINGZINGZINGZING

"I want to go where the people dance.
I want some action ... I want to live!
Action ... I got so much to give.
I want to give it. I want to get some too.
Oh, I ... Ohhh I ... I love the nightlife,
I got to boogie on the disco 'round, oh yea.
Oh, I love the night life,
I got to boogie on the disco 'round, oh yea."

"WHAT is going on! Jean? LOGAN!"

"Oh, you muzt be the Profezzor. Care to join my dizco cult?"

"Who are you? How do you know me? Why are they dancing and singing? DISCO?"

"Zomething with zome movement, I think. You're zo...mobile."

ZINGZINGZINGSINGSINGSINGZINGZINGZING

"Young man, there's no need to feel down
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground
I said, young man, 'cause your in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy
Young man, there's a place you can go
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
They have everything For young men to enjoy.
You can hang out with all the boys."

"Ha!! Who zayz dizco is dead?!"

"What did you do to them?!"

"Scott! STOP! WAIT!"

"I have to help them, Ororo!"

ZINGZINGZINGSINGSINGSINGZINGZINGZING

(sigh) "Oh Scott. You're such a man."

"Lookin'for some
Hot Stuff, baby this evening,
I need some
Hot Stuff, baby tonight
I want some
Hot Stuff, baby this evening,
Gotta have some hot stuff
Gotta have some love tonight
I need hot stuff
I want some hot stuff
I need hot stuff..."

(groan)

"Ah my lovely, zhat is zome gorgeous white hair. Mizz Clariol, maybe?"

(snapcracklesnapcrackle)

"Do you know what happens when disco freaks are struck by lightning?"

ZINGZINGZINGSINGSINGSINGZINGZINGZING

ZINGZINGZINGSINGSINGSINGZINGZINGZING

ZINGZINGZINGSINGSINGSINGZINGZINGZING

"Why aren't you zinging!?!?!"

(ZAP!!!!)

(THUD sizzle sizzle smoulder)

"I put cotton balls in my ears."

(silence)

"WHAT in hell was that about??"

"Ororo, you are so wonderful."

"Logan, I had no idea you could dance like that."

"Scott, that was some impressive hip motion."

"Jean, you need to wear a bra. You just jiggle too much."

"Marie, your speaking voice is incredible, but PLEASE don't sing anymore."

(tink twang)

"Anyone for a drink?"

"Sure Charles."

"Yes, Charles, thank you."

"Count me in, Professor."

"I'll have one, Professor."

"Gimme the damn flask, Chuck."

---

T-Minus 1 Day
--

"Anybody get any more Secret Valentines?"

"Ah got a box of chocolates."

(grrrrrrr)

"Gonna share?"

"Ah'll share with you, Scott. What did you get?"

"A subscription to Men's Health magazine."

(snort)

"What's the matter, Logan. Didn't you get anything?"

"I got a set of leather driving gloves, Jean."

"Well, that's nice."

"Jean hasn't gotten anything today, but she got lingerie yesterday."

"Ororo!"

"Weren't you going to tell? Scarlet red lingerie."

(splutter choke)

"Chuck, you OK?"

(ahem) "I'm fine, thank you, Logan."

"What about you, Ororo, since you've told about my lingerie."

"I got this necklace."

(ooooo)(ahhh)

"Damn, that's nice."

"Well, that rules out Scott."

"HEY."

"What did you get, Professor? Ah bet you got something nice."

"Actually, Marie, I received a very nice day robe."

"So, when will we actually find out about our Secret Valentines?"

(silence)

"I told you, I have nothing to do with it."

"Yeah, we believe you, Chuck."

---

T-Minus 12 Hours
--

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

(SLAM)

"Well, aren't you getting to be popular here."

"Uh, yes sir. It's Valentine's Day tomorrow."

"Right."

"Uh...delivery?"

"For?"

"Uh ... Miss Grey?"

(footsteps approach)

"Logan, could you help me in Medical...who's at the door?"

"It's our favorite flower guy, back again for more punishment."

"Logan, shame on you. Be nice."

"Uh, Miss Grey?"

"Yes, that's me."

"Sign here, please."

(scritch scritch scratch)

"Just a moment, please, I couldn't carry them and the clipboard both..."

"What is it with women and flowers?"

"Logan, if you ever understand, I'll be very shocked."

"HEY!"

"Here you go, Miss."

"OH MY. How gorgeous."

"These smell kinda like the first ones."

"Uh, yes sir. You're right. Roses. These are red, of course."

"No shit."

"Logan. Enough. Thank you!"

(SLAM)

"So how many are there in that stack? You need some help?"

"I've got them, Logan. I'd guess four dozen, at least."

"So, Jean, you and Chuck going out tonight?"

"Yes, we are, Logan."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yeah."

"There's no card. That's odd. My Secret Valentine always uses a card."

"Who says they're from your Secret Valentine?"

"Logan - do you know who sent me these roses? Logan?? Come back here!"

---

Valentine's Day
--

"That dinner was wonderful, Ororo. I had no idea you were such a good cook."

"Thank you. The company made it wonderful."

"Thanks."

(silence)

"I brought you a present."

"Scott, you didn't have to..."

"It's Valentine's Day, Ororo. I wanted to. Close your eyes."

"Oh, all right."

"Keep your eyes closed."

"What are you up to, Scott?"

"Just another minute, Ororo."

"All right."

"OK, you can look now."

"Oh, Scott..."

"I thought you would like it."

"Like it??"

"You don't like it?"

"Scott, I love it."

"Ororo, would you be my girl? Maybe we can work toward a different ring next Valentine's Day."

(silence filled by lots of kissing noises)

---

"I'm glad you finally made a move."

"I was rather afraid to do so, Charles."

"I can understand that."

"Charles, I adore you. And not as a father."

"Well, I suppose things worked out rather well, then, since I love you, as well. And not as a daughter."

(silence as water drips)

"This was an ingenious idea. Very comfortable."

"I'm glad you think so. It's easier for me to maneuver so I may (gentle kiss) do that."

"Well, feel free to do that some more, my dear Professor X. I'm going to add some more hot water to the tub."

"The bubbles are not a touch I would have thought of."

"Well, now that you have a woman in your life, you might think of things like that more often."

"I thought of the roses."

"Yes, you did. Did I thank you properly for those?"

"Maybe you might again. Just in case."

---

"Come on, Marie. Don't make me do this."

"Logan, sugah, no one is gonna see yah but me. All the students are off for the weekend, the others are...involved."

"But, Marie..."

"No buts, Logan."

(grrrrrrrr)

"Remember your reward."

(sigh)

"Start the damn machine."

"Good boy."

"Only for you, Marie."

"I know, sugah."

(snap-thud-snap-fizzzzzzz)

"The first, the last, my everything
and the answer to all my dreams
You're my sun, my moon, my guiding star,
My kind of wonderful, that's what you are
I know there's only - only one like you
There's no way they could have made two
You're all I'm living for
Your love I'll keep forevermore
The first, the last, my everything..."

---

"Mission accomplished."

"Kitty, you were awesome. We'd never have been able to do it without your gift."

"Shoot, Jubilee, you're the one who talked Remy into joining us with his Gold Card."

"Ah, Kitty, iz worth it if they are all happy."

"Sorry about those scorch marks, man."

"You did a fine job fixing me up, Hank. Iz not your fault it waz Ztorm who ended up being the one who didn't like Dizco."

"So maybe we can get a charm that lasts longer next time. Fifteen minutes wasn't long enough for me to get Scott Summers on videotape shakin' his boo-tay."

"I swear, Jubilee."

"WELL? Am I not right?"

"Letz go, ladiez. Your dinner awaitz."

"Well, there's always Christmas."