The remnants of morning lazily poked through the barren sky. Night had shifted from a dark ebony black to a light dusty blue. Logan couldn't help the look of shock as soon as his eyes wandered to the watch strapped onto one of his gloved hands. It was nearly four in the morning and it didn't look as if he would catch a glimpse of sleep. Of course, his body had pretty much become numb during his rain soaked drive, exhaustion fleeting his senses.

A series of knocks on the large, whitewashed door produced a half awake Jean Grey. She was just as beautiful as Logan remembered. Her striking looks could even be recognized this early in the morning. A look of cross anger, confusion, and surprise enveloped her features and for a moment Logan was sure she was going to slap him.

"Jean..." Logan greeted, a flirtatious smile found its way on his lips.

"Logan...?" the stunning red-haired, beauty responded, somewhere between a statement and a question. Noticing his apprehension Jean continued. "Your back..."

"Yeah, sorry about coming this early...I didn't want to wake you...I'll just go check into a motel or sumthin.."

"No! wait.." Jean pleaded, everything beginning to seep in. "You might as well come in...I mean, it's been so long...Six years.."

Before he could even compute her words, a masculine voice boomed down the stairs, footsteps soon following.

The man known as Wolverine instantly grimaced, the familiar voice ringing in his ears. With obvious distaste and disappointment he ignored the feelings of jealousy that invaded him as the man possessively wrapped his arms around Jean's waist, his ruby quartz glasses glaring in Logan's eyes.

"Hey Scotty-boy. I would have thought by now someone would have put you out of your misery.." Logan could see by the look on Scott's face, he was the last person he expected this early in the morning.

"What are you doing back?" Scott growled. "I figured after the first dozen bar fights, someone with a shotgun would have done us all a favor.."

"Aww...sorry to disappoint you.." fake sympathy laced Logan's voice. Trying to get a better glimpse inside the mansion, Logan instantly became agitated. "So, are you going to let me in...or let me freeze?"

"That's very tempting..." Scott let a smug grin shine through. v "I know I was always told not to play with my food but..." he felt the sharp pricking of needles as his claws shot out from his knuckles. Grimacing in pain, he felt like his flesh was being carved..but the anger diverged him from worrying about anything he 'felt'.

Jean took initiative and jumped in between the two men. She wanted to make sure the useless bantering and bitching didn't escalate. "Both of you shut up...Logan, inside now...and Scott..calm down.."

Logan and Scott cowered at the angry, shrill tone. Like two little boys being scolded by their mother, the two did exactly what she said..but not without pouty scowls emblazing both of their expressions. Just by looking at her face both knew that even carefully timed, puppy eyes wouldn't get them out of hot water.

The large school hadn't changed at all. Furniture was precariously placed, identical to how it had been 6 years prior. Of course Logan knew better..Things weren't always what they seemed. Although, these days it felt as if he were the only one who hadn't changed. The world had continued turning, things constantly growing and evolving. Here he was just as rebellious and troubled as before. Warmth grafted throughout the large mansion and Logan almost completely relaxed, almost took off his leather jacket and grabbed a beer...almost.

Logan could practically feel Jean and Scott's eyes staring right through him and couldn't help but smirk. He definitely had control over the element of surprise here. He didn't have to be telepathic to know what they were thinking. He could still read both of them like a book.

---

Jean silently followed Logan, as did Scott. It was hard to believe he was back, especially after all of this time. By now everyone had pretty much given up hope of ever hearing from the rebellious Wolverine again. Sometimes the only thing that reminded her of his absence was Rogue. Sure, she put up a facade...acted like a happy teenager. But there were moments during a class, Jean would catch her staring off into a voidless space. Her eyes were deep and surfaced both anguish and longing. Her fake smiles were sad, not to mention that most nights screaming echoed down the corridors. It was a nightly thing. Rogue was awakened by terrifying nightmares. Jean had taken a mother-like stance. Running to her bedside and holding the lifeless, sobbing woman/child. Every time her heart would ache, as the vigor and youth that had once encircled Rogue slowly drained away. During the day both of them would pass by each other, acting as if nothing had transpired the following night.

The restless nightmares became much more gruesome, leading Rogue to her current state of insomnia. Jean couldn't blame her and need not ask her what the nightmares were about. During an idle lunch break one afternoon, she had probed farther into Rogue's mind..peeking at the dream sequence. Basically the horrible images were the long drawn out memories she had picked from Logan's mind so long ago. The two mutants were connected and the young Doctor couldn't do anything but pity Rogue. She had already matured far beyond her years...experienced enough pain - the last thing she needed was Logan haunting her memories.

It wasn't out of the ordinary to find the now-nocturnal Rogue, pacing the floor at all hours of the night, or sitting in quiet recollection outside on a bench. Professor Xavier had even begun to worry..his mind constantly roaming for new ideas, something to distract the powerful girl. All attempts had proven useless.

Within moments, Jean was shot from her reverie as Logan spoke.

"Things really haven't changed.." he shot a look back at the both of them. "I take it you two are still...together?"

"More than together Logan...we're married.." Scott beamed, a smug grin on his face.

Disappointment flooded Logan's senses, perhaps a bit of anger, jealousy. "Well..I always said her taste in men left something to be desired.." he grumbled.

Once again, Jean felt thrown in the middle. She wanted more than anything to just suck all of the tension from the room - impossible. "We would have invited you Logan...but we didn't want to bother you. You were looking for answers....me and Scott didn't want to stop you on your quest for the truth.."

"Actually, I just didn't want you at the wedding.." Scott was shut up as Jean's elbow slammed into his ribs. Remind me not to cross that line again he thought, his torso now sorely numb. "Ow! What was that for.."

"Like I have to tell you..."

A self satisfied Wolverine beamed at Jean's physical scolding. Got to love how she takes control..

"No problem..I'm not one for those..formal parties..tuxes and all. It's not my style.." he lightened the atmosphere. Logan brushed off the disappointment. So, she was taken now...but the cockiest guy in the world...she was taken before..but a wedding ring for Logan was like a huge shield. He just didn't go there. It was fine with him..Jean was a beautiful woman, but not the one who had occupied his thoughts for six years. "In all seriousness though...congratulations..who better to deflate Scotty-boys ego than you Jean.."

Of course Logan was not about to compliment someone without the mandatory smartass remark, although Scott did seem a little surprised that his plan to piss Logan off had backfired.

A nervous feeling settled in his stomach soon enough though. It was time to find out what he really needed to. "So, is Rogue still here.." Logan asked unsurely. For all he knew she may have totally moved on...might be pissed at his return, He had been gone a long time... Too scared to write or call her, he had always been afraid that the sound of her voice would weak him and he would have packed his bags and come home as soon as possible. He couldn't begin to risk it. Maybe six years would toughen his once, breechless inner walls.

Inevitable. Both Jean and Scott had expected Logan to be anxious about Rogue.

"She's still here..."

Logan didn't like for a second how sad Jean's voice sounded. Was something wrong with Rogue? Or did she just pity him, knowing he wouldn't like what he found? "I can talk to her tomorrow...Don't tell her I'm here though..". Lifting his bag over one shoulder he prepared to walk up the flight of stairs, and get some sleep in a vacant room.

"Or you could just tell her your here now.." Scott drawled.

"Isn't she sleeping?" Logan searched both of their eyes. "I mean...it's 4 in the morning...she's not possibly awake..."

Jean just pointed towards a half closed door at the other side of the room. He knew where the door led- to a large lounging area. To say the least he was shocked Rogue would be up at this hour. The father instinct that was almost always dormant, except when it came to Rogue's well-being, kicked in and as his feet carried toward the room, he had quite the nerve to yell at her and make sure she got to bed now.

Jean and Scott only looked at each other. Both of them weren't sure what to make of Logan's return...didn't know how Rogue would react. What happened if Logan left again? No, too many questions. It was too early and they could all deal with this tomorrow. Jean followed Scott back up the stairs, casting one more motherly look through the balcony bars. It was only natural to be worried. These days she had to be wary of Rogue's feelings.

---

Moving as stealthily as possible Logan pushed past the half closed door. His eyes widened immediately at what he saw. A beautiful young girl stood in the center of the room, her eyes closed and her arms out in a defensive position. She moved slowly across the floor, the tight shirt and pants a little too formfitting for someone of her age. Logan stood there in absolute awe. The young girl was doing some sort of stretching, tai-chi..he wasn't sure. Her eyes were closed and she looked deep in thought...looked centered and focused. On his mind's urging he let his eyes roam her body, mentally outlining her curves. Then it hit him, reality came into play as he saw the long strand of white hair. Rogue? Nah..couldn't be. This was not the young girl Logan had left behind...not the little girl he had once held quivering and shaking on a train. This was a woman. Tearing his eyes away from the blossomed figure he shuddered at the thoughts racing through his mind. His instant attraction was squashed lowly as he reminded himself..this was Rogue, sweet..innocent..little sister-like Rogue. All was destined for hell if he couldn't even keep his hormones in check. Your old enough to be her father... a voice chastised him. A more gruff, careless voice interrupted...Yeah..but she's legal ain't she....

Shaking the thoughts from his head Logan blinked. The helpless runaway he had met so long ago had burrowed her way into his heart..faster than anyone he had ever known. Just because she was grown up...and possibly the most ravishing beauty he had ever seen...didn't mean he had to act on impulse. Plus, the fact that the moment she came in contact with anyone.....they had the severe risk of being killed..kinda put a damper on things.

Tiptoeing closer towards her, Logan smirked. A nervous feeling settled in his stomach. How would she react when she saw him? Did she ever think of him anymore..even remember him? An idle look towards her slim neck revealed that she wasn't wearing a necklace...Did she even have his dog tags anymore? Sure, they were junk but..really the only source of identity he had anymore...a gift from him to her that symbolized much more than a pure friendship.

Soon enough he was close enough to reach out. Moving his arms out towards her, he lightly grasped her shoulder. Before he could get any words out though he felt a sharp pain snap through him as something slammed into his face, connecting with his jaw. More than a bit fazed he collapsed to the ground. What the hell was that?

Pressing one hand to the sore spot beneath the hallow of his cheek he found himself looking up into the confused eyes of Rogue, who was now leaning over him..absently rubbing her knuckles.

---

"Logan!"

"Yep...In the flesh"

Logan grimaced, sorely rubbing his jaw. He could already feel himself beginning to heal...but, man that had hurt like a bitch. "Damn....." he muttered. "Nice left hook..darlin'"

Rogue could feel the shock plastered on her face. How was she supposed to react? Was she supposed to just jump in his arms and tell him how much she had missed him...and how glad she was that he was back? She let her eyes roam over the familiar, fallen form. The form of a man she had once known... There had been a time she had been so connected to him that she could feel every breath he took..

Logan hadn't changed one bit. Figured, six years and leave it to him to come back even looking younger. Tired and beat down, he was...but no drastic changes. The two tuffs of ruffled hair stood at the back of his head, giving him that '-I just got out of bed-' look. His eyes had the same mischievous glint...his voice held the same gruffness...a thick warmth that laced around every word he spoke. This was who made her feel safe. No,...used to make her feel that way. Right now she felt more along the lines, of being sick. Even the notion that after all these years he could show back up, and expect everything to be as he had left it...made her ill.

Yeah, he had changed alright. Although, probably not enough to realize the hell she had been going through these past six years. Of course traveling in the cold harsh Canadian weather, drinking till a stage of pure stupor, and engaging in meaningless sex with the drunken, desperate women at every stop, was a better use of his time than staying here with her (note sarcasm).

That damn connection often leaked images of his exploits deep into her dreams. By now she just got by, telling herself that taking anything he did personally wasn't a very wise thing to do. Logan was Logan...and some little girl from the country he had picked up at a bar couldn't change him. She was a fool...and he was the joker who fooled her every time. Yep..Good old Logan..who would never change. Stubborn son-of-a-bitch.

The Wolverine was just as lost as she was, trying to have him the way she wanted...the way she needed...had never been a possibility. Sometimes she swore the connection was just a way of tormenting her. Vicariously living in the memories..she could almost feel the sensation of flesh on flesh...the reaction the site of a naked woman arose in Logan...and the animalistic heat that shot through him. For a moment she would revel in the feel of skin being rubbed coarsely...the taste of salty lips pressing together. But, soon after..Rogue painfully tore from the events running her mind...playing her emotions. Just fateful reminders that Logan, or anyone for that matter, would never touch her like that...and she could never hold the lustful power she needed to arise any reaction from him.

He was a beast, but a gawky kid from Meridian, Mississippi wasn't about to unleash the animal inside of him. It was a lot tamer then that. She'd have to cover herself in prime rib to get any beast to look twice at her.

On instinct, Rogue leaned down, extending her hand to Logan. Without a thought she watched him reach, to accept her help...but immediately pull his hand back as he realized the danger this young woman posed, even to him.

Logan watched pain and a fair amount of shameful embarrassment flash in her eyes. She pulled back her hand sharply. The movement was so fast and instinctual, that it was as if she had been burned by a flame.

Logan hung his head in regret. Now he couldn't help but feel guilty. Obviously she was hurt. The wounded expression on her face made his, usually guarded heart, wretch. God, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her..again.

With any other he would simply brush such an inconvenience off nonchalantly...but he could feel what she felt. He knew how sensitive she was. The loneliness she felt was tucked inside of him too. Recollection pulsed through her and staying away from her to avoid any more complications was just too hard. He had self control...but with her..all rhyme and reason was out the door.

Looking down Rogue realized that the last place she wanted to be right now was here. It was hard enough every day, when the other kids here avoided her...kept their difference, but when Logan..of all the people in the world..gave into fear, it was just a bit more than she could take.

The minute Logan rose from the ground, Rogue slowly took a step back...an attempt to make the physical separation match the emotional one.

Logan felt his heart sink in his chest as Rogue backed away from him. Shit his mind echoed.

The one person in the world who really mattered to him was hurting because of his reckless bullshit.

Logan's usual reaction to situations like this would be..'Screw it'...he would walk away. This little girl though held his heart in her firm grasp...and not even the mighty Wolverine had a chance in hell of escaping. Reaching out fast enough, as Rogue didn't have a chance to react...or push him back, Logan put his hands on her shoulders. With another swift motion she was pulled towards him.

Logan's arms possessively wrapped around her, fitting snug, around her small waist.

The immediate anger that had coursed through her was replaced the undying need...the aching inside of her. She let her hands slide up, till they were around his neck, pressed together. What could be seen as a friendly hug was softer and more gentle than any lovers touch and Rogue was amazed at all the old, familiar feelings flooding through her. After so many years of being dormant..she was sure they were lost forever.

All her mind told her right now was..she should hit him..bruise him, even if only for a second..until that healing power kicked in. Rogue wanted to make sure he felt something...just anything.

Moving away though was an impossibility...first of all... the bear hug she was placed in was quite firm. His hold on her was strong....second of all, she was sure that the moment he let go of her..she would fall to the ground. Her whole body was subdued by emotion right now...Logan was her support.

Even if he was the reason she felt so overwhelmed by pain and longing... The heat of his body warmed her and she was sure he could feel her heart pounding beneath her chest.

For the first time though, she didn't mind.

Forget what her mind was telling her...she followed her heart, and let herself find temporary solace in his arms.

---

The past few days have been really awkward. Im not sure if Im avoiding Rogue...or if she's avoiding me.

I pretty much figure we're both doing our fair chance of hide and seek here. The most we've said is..either a quick..'Hello' or, 'How are ya doin'?'. Its pathetic..I know. But, when I see her...the ability to form words disappears...and things become awkward..fast.

Maybe if we keep our distance things wont be so..weird. There are so many thoughts and truths that just aren't being spoken. Im not sure if Rogue wants to tell me she missed me...or if she hates me for leaving her. Her hating me would make things alot easier.

Deep down, ya know...I want to make it up to her. I remember promising her that I would watch after her...Ive done a bang-up job so far. Hell, she could have moved on already..forgotten me. Damn, leave it up to her to make the infamous Wolverine begin to question everything. In the last 15 years Ive never, for a moment, doubted myself or thought twice when it came to something I wanted. Want. Take. Have. Three rules you live by when you have nothing to weigh you down.

I swear, all that booze must have really knocked off a couple thousand brain cells. For a moment I gave into that overwhelming urge I had to be near her. Before I could stop myself my arms were wrapped around her...my face nuzzled in the covered crook of her neck...the scent of her wafting over me...Man, I really cant get enough of her. It seemed like an eternity before I felt her shift beneath me, the soreness settling in my back...and I had to let her go. In a way, I wanted to forget all this 'no-touch' bullshit. I wanted to run my hands over every square inch of her...feeling the smooth, untainted skin glide beneath me. Just for a few moments I wanted to shed all of my clothes, take away any and all barriers and lay down, resting myself on top of her. Feel the way she would feel, rubbing against me...writhing beneath me. In my dreams her body always fits perfectly with mine...a symmetrical tangle of skin, and lips...and well..just about everything else. I'm sure I could cop a good feel before I keeled over. Wow, what a way to go.

As soon as the thoughts come..they go. My hands run through the mussed hair settled upon my head..and I cant help but wonder..

'When the hell did I become such a perverted old man?'. She's young enough to be my daughter...Hell, she could be my granddaughter. I mean, Rogue's a vibrant, beautiful girl..no a woman. I don't deserve her. Fuck. Why the fuck do I keep getting in this same old conversation with myself? Its a never-ending battle..and if this isn't pure agony, well..then I dont know what is.

The last thing I want to do is ruin that innocence she holds...I don't want to taint her with all my petty bullshit baggage. But man, that innocence is all I crave. Fuck, I want all of her. Nieve sweetness and all. Sometimes its impossible not to let go of these animalistic instincts.I want to make her say my name...make her scream out for more. I want to feel her...want to be inside of her...emotionally and physically. She has parts of me chiseled deep within her...Its only fair that I should get some of her buried in me...maybe that would smooth out some of my rough edges.

My dreams are becoming so vivid now...ever since that night..the night I'll regret for the rest of my useless life. Those damn images...so real..had awoken me..and there was yelling...pained screaming..it wasn't only my own though I soon realized. My eyes shot open..and Rogue was on the other end of my unsheathed claws...her thin rosy lips forming a surprised 'O' as the metal settled within her. The warm smooth flesh encompassed the cool metal protruding from my hand..and it was almost impossible to find the will...the strength I needed to pull back. The look on her face though wasn't of comfort..it was pure terror and pain..and the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt her...in any way. The shiny metal retracted..ripping back into my own skin. Marie stumbled back...the small strangled breaths coming from her were the only thing breaking through the deadly silence.

There I was muttering over and over..'I'm so sorry...God no...No!No!'. She was going to fall back..I knew that...and I reached out to grab her..but I remembered the warning she had set in my mind...her skin. Did I touch her..or did I get help?

Everything was a blur...I remember calling out for someone..but everything escaped me when Rogue almost fell forward. The look in her eyes was pleading...ashamed..and for some reason I could sense she had made some decision...and was reluctant to follow through.

Her fingers brushed against my face, the dull tips of her nails pressing into my rough skin. The fingers were cold..and sent a shudder throughout me. Before I could really put two-and-two together, a sharpness began to course through my limbs. I felt something being pulled from me...a coldness seeping into the vast emptiness. I'm stating right here and now..Ive been in many fights before...and have been cut up pretty bad...but Ive never felt pain rush through me so quickly. There isn't a time I remember being pounded into and not feeling the healing begin.

Her dark frightened eyes bore into mine. Yep, I was feeling out of breath..not sure if it was because my lungs were giving out...or just because the pure wild beauty pinned inside of those dark orbs was pulling me in. Of course, my mind would be more focused on a girl rather than my impending doom...but hey, Im a guy, what did you expect?

So...where were we? Oh, yeah. Normally ya think I would be bitching about this. I can't though. Wanna know why? When all that pain was slamming into my senses...and I was struggling for some sort of reverance...I felt this inkling of pleasure. I mean...I was pretty damn to cryin (How manly is that?)..but there was this sharp relief that jetted through me..this wave of pure, raw emotion, and well one word to describe it. Ok. Two words. Holy shit.

Now, Im not one of those pansy asses that enjoys pain..or plays chess with death on a regular basis...dont get me wrong..I love it rough, but I swear to you..this whole 'sucking my life force' wasn't completely bad.

Wanna know another thing? Now, I don't want to get ahead of myself..or let my head get too big..but, Im the only guy who has really touched Marie and survived. Makes a man feel pretty damn good when he's the first. Of course this wasn't exactly anything sexual..not by regular standards at least..but I can only wish sex could be that good.

After that, everything gets pretty meshed. From what Ive heard though....it wasn't a pretty sight. Supposedly I was convulsing and shaking on the floor..with every nosy brat on the second floor taking it upon themselves to see what was causing all the commotion.

Also heard that the whole bunch parted like the red-sea when Marie ran out of there. I don't blame her...I mean she had me swimming in her mind now..and it wasn't in my character to stay around..waiting for the blame. The blood's already boiling in my veins...just thinking about those sons of bitches casting those little glares at my Marie. Judging her. Yeah, excepting my ass. Thats the shit that gets me going...and so help me God..if I see so much as one of those snotty nose, two faced toddlers looking sideways at my girl...there will be hell to pay.

Those sharp claws are itching beneath my skin...Im aching for a good fight..dieing for someone to piss me off.

Lately, I find myself trying to see Marie around the Mansion. Not all the time. I only need to see her a minimum of......seven times to curb the craving. Seems a little excessive for one day..but you haven't met this girl. She doesn't need to know my thoughts..or my intentions though. I pretty much position myself safely in the halls..so I can catch a glimpse or two of her. More than once she's turned around, and caught me staring inadvertently at her ass. She doesn't seem put off by it though...one might almost think she enjoys the attention. Everything within me tightens when she gives me one of those sultry, all-knowing winks...and turns back around. I know for a fact that she purposely tries to sway her hips a bit more when she begins to walk away. That little vixen is gonna get what she deserves one of these days. She knows what shit like that does to a guy like me. Marie knows how to get a literal rise out of a hoodlum like me these days. And all she has to do is add a bit more...erg...bounce to her step. A little more bounce in her step..means a little more bounce in her...uh..never mind. Im keeping my thoughts as PG-13 as possible...but its only natural for the fantasies that flash through my mind to slip into that whole...NC-17 genre. Damn, that little girl knows what I like. Of course, she's the only one who has me figured out for the most part. My Marie has become quite cheeky. No longer a kid...just a cheeky vixen. I'm not sure what she expects from me..you can't just tease a man like that and expect him not to want more...to refrain himself. Heh. Maybe that kid has alot more to learn than I though.

The urge to reach out and grab her is becoming too strong. I can practically taste her...imagine what it would be like to have her pressed against me...all warm..and smooth..and..tender.

Shit. There I got with those daunting images again.

Usually Im the kind of guy that can douse himself in pure denial. I could go on telling myself that Rogue isn't my type...list the millions of reasons we could never be together. She's too young. Im too old. She can't touch. Scooter and Wheels would have a fit..and if we ever did anything the shit would majorly hit the fan.

---

A few days ago Rogue began hanging out with some new girl. Everytime I see Marie she is practically arm in arm with her. She's pretty..I have to admit. Blonde, cute, almost pixie-like. Can't recall the name though...Tina...Tess...something along those lines. Sometimes I would look over towards the two girls playing a game of foose-ball...laughing and giggling about some girlie foolishness. Or Rogue would laugh at some corny joke while that little pixie played with her hair...twirling each strand into some new hairdo.

Damn, what a beautiful smile too. It was nice to see my little Marie happy, that was until her fashion influences changed though...and I mean we are talking..drastic changes. She wasn't so little anymore. Instead of those loose, cloaks...sweaters...long skirts that covered up every inch of Marie's skin...she was becoming much braver. Hell, there were days she was walking around in leather pants...and those little tube tops I had seen a few of the older girls wearing. The instantaneous showing of her skin made her all that more tantalizing. Ive never fantasized this much about a woman...especially one who had clothes on.

Lets not get into my fetish with leather...but the sight of that smooth, milky white skin...covered in those formfitting clothes...contrasting with the dark shades...almost drove me over the edge. Me and every other guy at Mutant High..who had eyes. Damn clothes were tight enough to be a second skin..showing off all of her curves that were precariously set in the right places...curves that hadn't been there all those years ago...and my mind often wandered to how fun the challange would be of getting her out of the clothing. Oh shit..there I go getting off track again.

That girl better stop playing with fire. One day I just might break...and wrap my arms around that bare stomach...holding her tight enough, so she couldn't escape me.

Its that new girl thats bringing this whole new side of Rogue out in the open. Imagine, Marie...a wild-child. I almost blame myself for passing her that 'thrill of getting caught' need to Rogue. No, I know that friend of hers knows that Rogue has me on a leash. She's trying to use it to Rogue's advantage...and I dont like it one bit. Little pixie smiles at me sometimes, when she knows my eyes are glued on Rogue's scantily clad body.

I can't take much more of this. Yep, that girls gonna be the death of me.

---

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

By now it's pretty apprent to everyone that Logan is back. How could you miss him?

For the past week he's been brooding around the mansion. Always sitting on the front steps, reading some 18th century french novel. Unfortunatly I know Logan too well, and we all know that tucked within that lenghty volume of diluted words is a Hot Rod magazine.....or one of his cheap Playboys.

It's not like I've been avoiding him purposely. I think it's just the fact that he's been gone so long....and he's expecting the same gawky seventeen year old, to come running into his arms. He wants me to tell him that I've missed him and that...I need him to stay this time. One thing I've learned over the years though...you can't need Logan. In the end you'll just be dissapointed. So, I'll admit that after the first year or two I began to feel him drifting away from me. The image of his face became blurry....his addictive smell was faint.

The gruff voice that had been music to my ears was nothing but a whisper. I was scared. Scared that he was never going to come back and his memory would be forever gone. The last thing I wanted to do was lose him...now.

Eventually I began to fill my life with an endless supply of school dances, homework, and friends. My mind was so busy that I barely had time to feel sad over the loss of Logan's memory. Didn't have time to worry about it either. During the night of course, my mind would mentally pick everything apart..eventually getting back to Logan..and the fact that the thought of him caused my heart to wrench. I hated him for it..and I hated myself even more for feeling that way. Being so gullible.

So, back to the subject at hand. Even if I could convince him of a few facts that have been laying dormant in my head...he's not my type. Oh, who am I kidding? Logan's the only type of guy that I could ever want.

Can you imagine me parading around on his arm? Hell, he might not look it..but he's old enough to be my grandfather..and the sight of us just strikes people as a father and daughter.

Things can't always be so conventional though. Logan would never give himself to me completely. I probably wouldn't give my all to him either. We are both so infused with insecurity and self doubt that we would only bring each other down. He doesn't want to give himself to anyone. God forbid he actually show any emotion. How un-manly.

Thats ok...really. I don't mind. And thats my mantra everyday. Dont take anything he does personally. Logan just doesn't know any better. I'm not about to wait for some guy stuck in the mid-life crisis period of his life. Fuck...wait for him? He would be waiting for me...and would eventually get bored...and move on. It's better to be in denial. Much better.

Lately I've been doing things just to get....a rise out of Logan. More of to see if I could actually get a reaction from him. It hadn't been 100% my idea though. I had some help.

A few days prior a new student had transfered to 'Mutant High'. She was about 5'3. blonde, and was all smiles. The guys were a bit taken with her and the girls had nothing against her. Tess was funny and sweet and for some reason she had decided to sit next to me at lunch. It was a mystery why someone that could be so popular was opting to hang out with a withdrawn freak...to me especially. Even the other kids here are afraid of me. Instead of the uncomfortable small talk I was expecting, the conversation actually lasted a few hours. We talked about everything from boys and clothes to how it felt to be 'different'. I mean....I actually felt comfortable around her.

It didn't help much when we were sitting down in the cafeteria one day and she kept nudging me.

"What is it!?" I hissed.

"I just thought you should know that...Logan is practically staring at you.."

"Tess....your delusional..".

So, I blew it off. It was very unlikely that he was staring at me. Immediatly my eyes searched to see if Jean Grey was anywhere in the vacinity of me. That's who he was probably staring at. But just to make sure I turned my head. For some reason Logan looked like a deer caught in headlights...his eyes wide..his body rigid. He had been caught. Not that I actually knew what to do. Thankfully he let his face go blank..and looked back down at his plate of untouched food.

Tess just looked over at me with a knowing grin. A smirk almost. Damn...I knew there would be trouble.

---

It was late afternoon. The weekend was practically flying by. I was about the only teenager eager to get back to the weekdays. When I was in school I didn't have a chance to...run into Logan, to think of Logan, or to feel that rearing jealousy when the thought of his major crush on Jean came to mind. Tess was sitting next to me twirling my hair in her fingers as I flipped haphazardly through a magazine.

It was actually nice to have someone sitting by me...who wasn't afraid of me or what I could do. Ok...so she didn't exactly know everything about me yet. It wasn't getting harder and harder for me not to tell her...what was I supposed to say? 'Oh well..when people touch me I kinda suck their life force from them'.

I couldn't possibly scare her away? Could I?

I soon felt her hand leave my hair....her eyes practically boring holes right through me.

Lifting my head I managed to raise an eyebrow.

"What...?"

"Nothing Rogue.....it's just..." she paused unsure of how to continue. Her fingers rose again, lightly touching the sleeve of my long black sweater. "Whats with all the sweaters....and the long skirts...and the gloves? It's practically summer outside....and yet you sit here...like it's normal..."

I looked down immediatly. I wasn't sure if I was feeling...embarrased...ashamed...angry..or all of the above. Tess must have noticed my hestitation and reached out...

Instinct flooded my entire body as I lashed back, almost falling from the couch. My mind didn't even register the worried look on her face. My small jump back had upset her...worried her..and angered her.

I couldn't do this...not again. There was no way I was going to put another person at arms length.

So, before Tess could investigate any farther...I lifted myself from the couch and jetted my way out of there, until I was safely locked away in my room. I couldn't tell anyone else and risk someone else fearing me or...hating me. God, the last thing I could deal with was more rejection.