Wind tore at his hair, its voice echoed in the engines roar beneath him. All that mattered was speed, wind whipping and stinging his skin, the only thing he wanted to feel. Heart as heavy as the sky above, threatening to cover the world in blanket of white. Snatching breath from the slipstream he tasted the engines warmth and the sharpness of the snow to come.

His eyes weren’t on the road; all he could see was that moment a year ago, holding Scott back, keeping him from the raging water. Knowing that there was no hope under there, the black crushing depth had taken her from both of them. Just before, she’d looked up at him and said everything she’d wanted to in that one moment. That gaze which lasted for a second said more than she’d ever dared to.

Blinking back to the road he saw the first fat flakes of snow hit the headlight, watching as they grew in size and wondered whether he should stop for the night. Catching the gauge he noticed the needle was almost at ‘E’. What this bike gave in speed, it ate at the pocket and the tank. This could be a problem; he’d spent the last of his cash filling the bike at the last little logging town. If his memory served him correctly there should be a small station ahead, maybe they’d need some help. A little work for food and a tank full of gas shouldn’t tax him too much, its not as if help just appeared out here.


He hadn’t cared about that earlier, all he’d wanted was to be away, away from the school, from her scent and memories of her. He could see her still, stood in the doorway of his room; a half smile playing at the corners of her mouth as he’d dressed. Remembering the time he’d sat in the library, reading quietly in one of the large chairs, hidden from the noise and chaos of the school. Jean had come in with Marie, he smelt their discomfort from where he was but he’d decided not to move. There were things he’d needed to know, when Marie had come back from her ordeal with Erik, she had been different, odd. She avoided darkness and the showers (where before she’d been a pain to get her out of them according to her friends). It had made him wonder if she’d picked up any of his nightmares, more over had she made any sense of them?

So he’d listened in, listened to the memories that filled her waking world. Trying to make sense of the mixed up jumble inside her head, of internment camps and soldiers. Of walking skeletons and eating rubbish to survive, doing things that no one should have to just to live another day. He heard her pour it out of herself and he soaked it all in, every detail, every memory, every emotion.
He’d make him pay for each one of them; he’d known exactly what it would do to her, what her powers were and for that he’d suffer. She’d mentioned him then and his blood had frozen, what had she seen? Could Jean help her and him to understand what had happened? But it wasn’t to be, Marie had broken down then, her tears adding to his anger and frustration. Instinctually his claws had fired and he’d ripped the book in two, sending white confetti floating down to the floor. He’d left then, leaving Jean comforting Marie in the library.

He’d dug a whole new pond that day for Xavier’s new fish, he’d needed to blow off steam and it was the only way he could there at the school. When he was working the kids left him alone, they knew better than to disturb him in the middle of something. When he was finishing up, Marie had come past with Bobby in tow, Bobby was asking her if she was okay, that she’d left her books behind in the classroom.
She looked across to where he was digging and fingered the dog tag he’d given her around her neck, he caught her answer “Yeah, I am now. I know I’ll be okay Bobby, I’m not alone anymore.” Her words had sent a cold shiver down him, as if she was looking directly into his head and reading what was there. Marie meant something to him, why? He didn’t really know himself but he would defend her and the rest of the kids. So why was he so far away from them all?

Pain, that’s why. A wounded animal needs time to heal and he was wounded, deeply.


Freewheeling into the gas station, the snow falling heavily now, his nose caught the scent of iron and blood. Looking around he saw the large barn set back from the road and the vehicles parked in front. It looked like his luck was holding, maybe he’d get to earn some decent money doing what he did best, fighting. His knuckles itched at the prospect and the skin between grew taught, expecting to be split at any moment but he just rubbed them quiet and went toward the barn.

As he’d entered, the wall of heat and sound hit like an almost physical blow, the smell of pine resin mixed with sweat and oil filled his lungs. All around men were shouting and waving money at others who were running from one end of the barn to the other collecting bets and working out odds. The object of their attentions was ‘The Cage’, a vast steel and wire structure. Almost every logging town had one, a place where scores were settled and a few bucks were made by those lucky enough to come out standing up. He’d always left standing.

Watching the fight he noticed several gaps in the fighters moves, he could have brought them both down but they were evenly matched in size and weight. This would go on pure tenacity, who had the guts to keep going and who just wanted the money. It was over in another three minutes, the smaller man panting hard and stood shakily on rubber legs picked up his shirt and left the cage. The cleaners went in, picked up the loser, spread fresh sawdust down on the floor and got out of the way for the announcer.

He was a squat man, pockmarked by disease but had a rich and powerful voice.
“Who’s next for the Cage? Who’ll take the next purse? Come on we haven’t got all night you know. Well not all of us anyhow. SO who’ll it be?” The mans eyes scanned the milling crowd for volunteers, here was his opportunity, better grab it. Waving his hand up in the air he made his way toward the cage, the announcers voice picked up a gear and rose above the din of conversation “We have a taker! Anyone want to join him in the cage? Anyone?” As he entered the cage, memories flooded his senses. There was a time when he’d thought that this was where he belonged, in a cage, to be beaten and pounded every moment. To feel nothing but pain and torment, to do nothing but survive from each moment to the next.

But not anymore, Jean, Xavier and Marie had changed all that; he had people to care for and who cared for him. The wound re-opened when he remembered that he’d lost one of those forever and the anger rushed to the surface. Good something to fight with something to lose himself in, anything not to feel the pain anymore.
His opponent had entered and the crowd obviously knew him by the way the bets were going, he was the favourite and he was the underdog, just the way he liked it. Taking off his jacket and shirt, experience had taught him to value his clothing; waiting for the announcer to start the proceedings.

The punch to his kidneys echoed through his frame, muscle tightened and he focussed on the pain blossoming in his side. Pain sharpened the world, brought it into focus, a very tight world of violence. The heavy man was working on his kidneys with hammer blows, hands rough and calloused from doing hard labour. Knuckles as hard as iron and ridged like tyres smashed into his face. He felt the knuckle collapse as it struck his cheek. A low growl of pleasure came from his lips, snarling now he brought his fist round into the mans unprotected face. The feel of the bones giving under his blows were food to the beast inside. Wanting to let his claws free, to feel them slice through the mans face; leaving nothing but a bloody mess behind but he kept them sheathed. He wanted this to last.

Pushing the man away, giving himself the room he needed to have a good look at his opponent.
Big; heavy; weighted with muscles that have been built by labour not by weights, hands that have cleared ice in midwinter. A true man’s man, no wonder he was their favourite, this man would kill you without a thought but he wasn’t up against a man. He was up against a wolverine, a glutton for pain and hurt, a creation of Stryker and his cronies.

He’d never been human, he was a mutant. A public punch bag, the thing you threatened your kids with, the nightmare of every family; that they would, could, give birth to something strange. His thoughts went to the kids at the school, the little ones, those who had been abandoned at birth and had managed to be found by Xavier.
How many more hadn’t?

The rage burned through him, he couldn’t even think anymore, all he did was fight. Hands a blur, they chased a scarlet pattern around the large mans frame. He heard bones snap and ligaments tear under pressure, skin bruised and bled. Hatred flowed from him into the prey at the ends of his hands, how he managed to raise a hand with a broken wrist he’ll never know but he did. Stopping a blow on the way down he saw the man’s eyes, fear rose from him in waves; making the air rank with its smell. Deep down he knew that he’d never step in the cage again after seeing that look of utter fear. He could go back to what he had been; Stryker’s Animal or he could be something else. Something that had meant a lot to Jean.

Anger fading from his features he held out a hand to the man on the floor of the cage, shakily a hand reached for his and he helped his opponent up. As their eyes met, his gaze told him that he could have killed him and the big man knew it.

His attention now outside of the cage he had a hard time understanding what was wrong, and then it hit him. The barn was quiet. Everyone’s attention had been on the fight; even the runners had gone silent. Growling softly to himself he picked up his clothes and stepped up to the announcer who had just entered the cage. They both watched the favourite being helped out of the cage, his body broken and bleeding. Sensing his presence the announcer cleared his throat and pointed to the end of the bar “Go see the manager for your money.” His voice, which had been rich and throaty, now sounded dry and small; cowed he brushed past to the centre of the cage and tried to regain his composure.


Closing the door behind him, he walked through the quiet crowd. Men moving out of his way before he got there; eyes downcast and bodies hunched in submission. They’d seen and they learned fast out here, you never take on what you can’t handle.
As he approached the end of the bar the milling crowd parted and for a moment he thought he’d gone colour blind or something. There in front of him was a girl, snow white hair cropped close and albino patterned skin. She looked like she was dressed in one of those pale snakeskins that Marie thought were so cool. But this was her own skin. Dressed in a small thin dress she must have been cold even in here, carrying a tray full of bottles and food she hardly noticed him. Concentrating on not spilling anything, she deftly moved through the crowd, only when he saw her pass did he notice she was blind. Pure white eyes slid over him and he had a sense of being weighed up by her blank stare.


He had more important things on his mind for now, like getting out of here with his skin intact and back to the school. He was needed there, for the first time in his life he was needed and he’d run away like a child. Well the money would come in useful, that is if he could get his hands on it without losing something else.

Approaching the bar, he could feel the eyes of the bodyguards weighing him up; even after his fight in the cage he could smell their eagerness to push him further. Shifting his weight onto the balls of his feet, he was ready if they wanted to start a new fight.
The stack of money was high, the favourite had been backed heavily and the moneyman had raked it in. But on the other hand he’d lost his best fighter to an unknown, which was bad for business. His eyes looked down at the pile of money and up to the face that controlled it, voice barely above the din of the crowd. “What’s my cut?” The face split into a large grin and a voice well used to getting its own way answered.
“Not till I get a name. We don’t pay out to drifters, especially ones who put our favourite down in one round.”

The movable muscle around him tightened up, the scent of adrenaline filled his lungs and he expected trouble.
Then she was there, her pale hand’s wrapped around the throat of the moneyman. Speaking softly and quietly she soothed the situation, winding her body around the knot of men. He could smell her scent, rich pungent and attractive but with a sour note that stung. The effect on the muscle was almost instant; relaxed they stepped back and giving room to move and to breathe. She slid away as quietly as she had appeared, the moneyman almost asleep on the perfume around them.

He decided to push his luck, “So where’s my cut?” The moneyman seemed to fight upward from his imposed slumber, recognising the man in front of him. Hands clumsy he felt through the pile and pulled off the first inch of notes, at least two thousand. Taking the money offered out toward him he put them into his pocket. Smiling his thanks he walked away from the group before whatever it was wore off.

He asked the bar tender where the diner was and he pointed a stump toward the small door on the left. One appetite satiated, he meant to work on the other. Inside the diner the walls were old and the calendar still read 1987, showing a hockey team, which had since folded. Smoke filled the air in here and mixed with the smells of cooking. The cooks in these places concentrated on size first, nutrition second. There was a lot of old men in here, spending the winter down in town, not young enough anymore to withstand the cold of winter. Eating dried food got old real quick, especially when you were on your own, he knew this from experience.

Seating himself at a chipped and battered booth he scanned the handwritten menu, smiling to himself when he found what he was looking for. Waving over a bored waitress he ordered his first decent meal in days, blue steak, potato, grits and greens. The waitress smiled as she recognised her customer, “You’re the one that beat Chet aren’t ya?” Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she took his order. “If your not too tired we might get together later, if you don’t have to leave for a while.” Her frankness brought a small flush to his face and his hopes rose again, maybe there’d be more here than just food. He watched her walk away, with a bit more swing in the hips than when she walked up. It was something to consider, it had been a while a year at least. He didn’t like the thought of having to share a bed with someone, especially as he dreamed almost every night and the dreams weren’t good ones. Getting hold of himself he decided that that would have to wait, it wouldn’t kill him and anyway who’d want to take the chance of having a kid like him?

Lighting a cigar as he scanned the room as he waited, one of the bouncers walked in and began shoving people around. His whole body language screamed violence, barely restrained violence. He picked up the one of the old men and shouted something in his ear, visibly cowed the old man looked over in his direction. Ah that was it, the moneyman had changed his mind about the cut. The bouncer followed the old mans gaze and locked eyes with him, just sat there smoking his cigar, sat comfortably in the booth, just waiting. Seeing the bouncers eyes narrow at the corners and a slow smile erupt over the craggy face he knew he’d be seeing him later. Well it’d be on a full stomach for once, he could smell his order coming from the kitchen. The Bouncer smashed the door of the diner open as he left, almost knocking over the pale girl who was coming back in from the bar.

Sensing his presence she backed away and turned her head down, away from the man’s eyes. His face leered as he realised who was in front of him and he put his large frame in the doorway, blocking it to her. Sat in his booth he caught the sounds of a short struggle and the crash of a tray being dropped, bottles smashing on the hard floor. The room had gone quiet. They’d all seen and heard but they weren’t doing anything about it, you didn’t if you wanted to live another day. Rage filled him and he felt the grip of the beast inside, he knew what was coming next and he’d stop it. He owed her that much, she’d stepped in earlier for him.

Pushing his way out of the booth he was met by his waitress, holding the large plate with his first decent meal for days. His eyes looked at it and her, eyes trying not to lose the struggling pair he spoke “Bag it for me.” Her mouth split into a grin, “Sure honey, as long as you’re coming back later.” The open sexuality of her invitation took some of the fire from him, a thought entered his head, maybe she knew the soon to be victim.
“Do you know the pale girl?” Her face went from pretty to hateful in one heartbeat.
“Yeah I know it.” Her whole body tensed and she moved a half step away from him. “She’s a freak. A dirty fucking mutant bitch.” The hatred spun out of her like silk, wrapping him in its embrace, suffocating his thoughts, underneath the animal raged. “She came up here a few weeks ago with her boyfriend.” Her smile took on a slick evil quality as she spoke “But Chet saw to him, I made a few bucks that night, betting on how long it’d take.” Her eyes glowed with an inner secret and she opened it for him to see its entirety. “Bud and Bret like her. You should have seen the mess in the cage after, I swear the girl was so fucked up afterward.” Laughter sparkled from her lips like poison. “We all watched, best nights tips in a long time.” Her words sank in to his mind and the rage flowed like fire through him, burning out any last vestige of feeling he’d had for her.

His eyes locked onto hers and he spoke in an open growl “You mean you just stood by and watched as he…” he couldn’t even finish the sentence. Her face leered as she shared her secret with him, the stranger who deserved to know the details, just in case she stood a chance. “Not just him honey, most of the guys in the bar. As I said best night’s tips I’ve ever had. So do you want me to keep this warm or wrap it?” Her eyes went down to the plate in front of her. He fought to control the rage underneath the surface; he could never eat that meal again. The memory would be burned into his mind, it was as if losing most of his memory made the ones he had even more vivid. Looking at the plate and seeing the pale grits gently cooling, all he could think of was the pale girls skin. She was the same colour. His voice calm and steady he spoke to the harridan “Bag it. I’m hungry for something else first.” The waitress snorted at his comment and took the plate away, “Bud won’t like it you know, he can get kind of touchy when he gets interrupted.” Her blue eyes pierced him through and he knew then why she hated her, she’d taken her place, her rank in this screwed up hierarchy.
“Yeah, so can I.”


It wasn’t hard to find her, her scent lit up the whole room. Fear, mixed with suffering made a trail that lit up the whole place and went behind the bar. He didn’t even stop to think about the barman, a protest on his lips never got voiced as he unsheathed his claws and put them under his chin. As his eyes met the barman’s he could taste the shock, “Where?” It wasn’t an order but it had the same effect. His voice was squeaky and high “The beer store. Down the back.” Sweeping the claws from under his face he ran through to the back.

He stopped after a few steps and listened, he couldn’t hear anything but the snow settling on the roof. The large storage area was littered with nooks and crannies, they could be anywhere. His ears picked up on breathing, heavy, rhythmic breathing. Eyes narrowing he set off toward the sound, setting the beast free, he revelled in its purity of purpose.
His mind free from thought it returned to the school again, replaying the night that the kids had had to run from Strykers soldiers. How had this kid ended up here? Why had they come this far north? Didn’t they understand that the world had changed when they had? A thought came unbidden to his mind, ‘it could have been Marie’.

Snarling at the touch of it he found the beer store and could see his prey covering the small pale frame underneath. He watched the large mans movements, slow and easy, taking every bit of pleasure he could from the small form beneath him. He had her propped up on the beer boxes, shuffled her into a position where her knees were next to her ears. Less chance of her fighting back when he had both her hands clenched in one large meaty palm. Feeling the weight of his claws he had to be careful, if he struck out too soon or too deep he’d injure her too.

The animal inside enjoyed the show in front of him, nostrils filled with the scent of their heated sex, his own swelled, betraying its true nature. Eat, Breed and Fight. The mind behind it turned the emotion into rage and hatred for the creature in front of him. Gasping now, the bouncers movements became jerky, getting near the end then. His eyes locked onto the hand holding hers above her head, watching the fingers curl and uncurl as each thrust rocked the boxes she was seated on. Ready, he pulled back his arms at waist height and waited for the last movement.

Barely breathing as he moved forward, he plunged his claws upwards into the mans midsection, feeling the damage wrought. Felt as liver and kidneys sliced open between the blades, it was so quick all he did was gasp and shudder. His large hand opened and her hands fell limply to her sides. Focusing totally he moved their combined weight to the side, a natural movement he hoped she’d mistake for something else. The heavy body already falling to the floor, brushing past the boxes he built around them. She didn’t move. Scared he retracted his claws and looked at her, had he made a mistake and cut her too? An image of Marie on the end of his claws flashed through his mind.

No, she was barely breathing, her breath plumed in the cold air of the storeroom and her skin had turned a shade of pale blue. Her eyes tight shut, she made no effort to cover herself or to even try. His eyes took in the healing scars and the damage meted out on her body, cigar burns littered her skin, raw and painful. A new one glistened at the top of her thigh, seeing its ugly welt he just quit the habit.

Taking hold of her thin dress from the cold floor, holding it in his fingers and felt how thin and old it really was. Looking at Buds flannel shirt he doubted if he’d need it anymore and picked it up and covered her with it. At the feel of the material she flinched and came back to herself. Tucking up in a ball she tried to hide underneath its warmth, waiting for something or someone else to happen. He crouched at the entrance to the store and waited for the visitors that were bound to follow eventually. Looking back at her small form he could feel the animal gaining ground, it wanted to rip into the ones who’d allowed this to go on. Really looking at her for the first time he realised that she must be around nineteen, about Maries age.

“You’d better get dressed. They won’t be long coming back here.” Her face erupted into shock as she reached out and felt no one there. Her hands desperately grasping the air.
“Who’s there?” Her voice was weak and distant, almost pleading. He got up and walked to where she could touch him. Her small fingers felt the leather of his jacket and he could see her breathe in his scent. “You.” Her face looked confused and happy at the same time. “Why did you follow me? Where’s Bud?” Her tone taking on concern, who for he wasn’t really sure.

Looking down at the gently cooling corpse he answered her, “Oh, he’s around. Just not up for talking that’s all.”
“Did you kill him?” Her voice had a tinge of iron it. Maybe she’d been concerned for him after all.
“Yeah.” He had to ask her, “Why you?” Her face turned toward the sound of his voice as she buttoned up the front of the shirt.
“Because he could and it’s something that happens when you’re me. I have this kind of smell that attracts men.” The last part of that sentence was pure hatred of herself. Tears were flowing now, as if knowing her tormenter was dead allowed the expression of all the pain. “When you’re a freak, it happens. Been happening to me since I was twelve. The home wasn’t too fussy on how we were housed you know, anywhere they could put us, we went.” Wiping her milky eyes with the back of the sleeve, she asked him a question.
“Who are you?”
“Let’s just say I’m your guardian angel for now. Lets get you out of here.” He reached out for her arm and she visibly flinched. “Come on, I won’t hurt you.” The look she gave him pierced him to the bone.
“Yeah, that’s what they all say.”

Shuffling off the boxes her feet made contact with the cold floor.
“Do you have any other clothes or shoes?” She shook her head and her breath plumed in the cold air.
“I don’t do too well in the cold, I need warmth. That was one of the reasons we ran away, me and David. We’d hitched a ride to Florida, or so we thought. The truck got hijacked and we ended up here, David didn’t last the night.” Her voice was flat and distant as she told him about her time there.

The Cage fight and the rape, the abuse at the hands of bouncers and patrons. His mind had visions of the acts, as if it revelled in showing him the depravity that humans could stoop to, that he could stoop to. Retracting his claws he went looking in the large storeroom. Looking for clothing, anything warm. Searching through the boxes he found what he was looking for, army surplus. Pulling out a set of trousers and long johns he threw them in her direction, she caught them without having to look.
“Neat trick.”
“I can see small objects as they come toward me, it’s the big things I have problems with.” Yeah and I just removed one of them for you and he’ll be missed, soon. His mind started to think about their chances of getting out of here intact.

“Get dressed while I find you some boots.” Using his nose he found boxes with rubber soled plimsolls, taking a selection of sizes he went back to her.
Dressed in the large trousers she reminded him even more of Marie, her fashion sense had been dictated by her mutation. She loved to wear those baggy pants all the other kids had, he’d bought her a pair on their last shopping expedition. Yeah him going to a Mall, he’d laughed it off as a joke at first until he’d seen the hurt in Marie’s eyes. It had taken the best part of a day to buy three items of clothing, his mood had not been good at the end. But then it was all the young girls walking by sniggering at them that hadn’t helped. He’d growled at a few and seen them blush as they looked away, they were young but interested in what they were and who he was. He’d felt glad to get out of there in the end. He’d rather go back in the Cage then in another Mall, at least he knew who his opponents were in there and they fought fairly.

Passing her the boots to put on, he sniffed the air in the storeroom. Nothing unusual, only the scent of blood and them. Maybe they weren’t too eager to follow in here as he thought, they’d seen him in the cage earlier and maybe they’d decided to wait for him outside. Where they could get a good shot at him.
“We have to get going. Can you ride?” He watched as she struggled with the laces, eventually just knotting them.
“What a bike?”
“Yeah, a motorbike.” Her face looked up in complete horror.
“I can’t, I wouldn’t last two minutes in the cold air. I told you I need to be warm, otherwise I’d have left this hellhole by now.” Tears sprung from her eyes making them glow in the halflight. “Oh god I’m never going to get away,” collapsing in on herself she sat and cried into her lap. Her hopes crushed by something as simple as the weather.

His mind worked quickly, the moneyman must have a vehicle, he wondered if Bud drove him too. Going back to the corpse he checked the pockets quickly and came up with a bunch of keys. Patting him on the back he moved the boxes so they covered the corpse and the spreading blood pool. Walking out of the beer store he heard the door from the bar open, tense he listened for the footfalls. Light, quick, speedy, the smell of grits and coffee wafted to him.
The waitress.
She walked right past his hiding spot, her face set, determined. Stopping to listen to the small sobs that echoed around the room she homed in on her target. Slipping out the knife she’d carried from the kitchen she made her way toward the girl. Her head lifted when she heard the footsteps approaching, “Who’s there? Is it you? Have you found something?”

Her face split into a snarl as she saw the young girl in front of her reaching out blindly, pulling her arm back she made ready to stab her. Her hand never got there, he caught her arm and spun her round on her own knife. A short sharp gasp left her throat as she saw the face of the man who’d killed her. “Yup, I’m a fucking mutant too.” He let her slide off the kitchen blade to the floor and picked the girl up by the arm.
“We’re leaving, NOW!” Walking quickly to the warehouse entrance, he pushed open the door and looked outside. His bike was being guarded by the other bouncer he was cradling a shotgun in his lap, he’d have to get her past him without being seen. Scanning the trucks and cars in front of him he looked for the most expensive. He found it three rows away, right next to the gas pump.

“Wait here and don’t come out till I call for you okay?” His voice was stern and she knew that this was important. Her hands gripped his arm tightly, “You are coming back aren’t you?” Her tears glittered in the light reflected from the snow around them, they looked like diamonds on ivory. He didn’t answer but ran hunched toward the pumps.


The snow had fallen quite heavily in the hour he’d been inside and the bike was covered with at least three inches. Bret had his foot resting on the seat, his back against the pump. Dressed in a dark blue parka it made him seem larger than he was, his legs looked spindly compared to his wrapped body. Moving slowly, keeping the snowdrifts between him and Bret he sneaked closer. He could smell the coffee on his breath and the ‘little warmer’ he’d added to it, unsheathing his claws slowly he tensed himself.

Bret shifted his weight to the other foot, bringing his leg down from the bike seat. He never made the move to regain his balance as he hit him square in the side. One set of blades cutting his spine and the other skewering his throat, quick and quiet. The snow began to pick up pace, as if to hide the third murder at his hands tonight. Pulling the large body toward the snow bank, piling the fresh snow over the body, adding an oiled tarp to cover the blood trail. Taking the shotgun with him, he didn’t like guns but he couldn’t leave it on show. Still crouching he paused to smell the cold air, the snow was swirling and making vision almost impossible but his nose never lied. There was a warm engine near him, that’d be better than trying to start a cold one. Using his nose he found the truck, a battered old camper. Not unlike the one he’d had, but that time seemed so long ago now.

Hands running over the hood he felt the warmth still evident in the engine, about half and hour if he wasn’t mistaken. Putting his head to the window of the camper part, he was welcomed by the sound of silence inside. Creeping around the back of the truck his hand tried the back door, locked but not for long. Slipping a blade into the old lock he heard it snap open, time to get the girl. Crouching as he ran, using the snow as cover he reached her, she looked so small and afraid. He could see her scenting the air and her face turned toward him as he approached.
“You’re getting good at this, soon you’ll be able to find your way anywhere.” Her reply was as open as the sky.
“I smelled the blood.” Looking down at his hands he could see the red flecking his knuckles.
“Yeah, well we’ve got a ride. Come on and keep your head down.” Moving quietly and quickly he pulled open the door to the rear of the truck and pushed her inside. “Keep your head down and we’ll get out of here with our skins intact.”

Shutting the door he went around to the driver’s side and popped the lock. Pulling himself inside the small seat, he looked at the inside of the cabin. Junk food wrappers, old maps, forest campsite markers littered the other seat and the floor. He’d got into a forester’s truck they usually had plenty of fuel, as if to validate his thoughts he heard a canister behind him fall to the floor of the cabin. He turned to see her trying to get into the small bed, shivering in the cold. Reaching behind him he lifted it back up and put it behind his seat, time to leave. He could just see Cyc’s face when he told him where he’d left his bike this time.

Two minutes later he was driving away from the logging town, away from his past and into a new future. A future where he cared about those around him, including the girl in the back. They’d have to stop soon, he’d gas the tank and get the heater running for her, the next stop was at least a hundred and fifty miles away and he wasn’t even certain that this truck wasn’t known there either. But he’d have to risk it. His instincts took over now, driving in snow wasn’t easy but it was best done slowly.

This left his mind to turn over the events of the day, why had he ended up there? Where was he heading for? After that town all there was were small hamlets and then nothing, not even roads. Did he really want to go back to those days? Surviving as an animal, living as one? Looking into the back at the small form huddled under the blankets on the bed he wondered how she really saw him? Was he just a picture of smells to her, could she see at all? Well those questions would have to wait till they were at least fifty miles away.

He’d just finished filling the tank when she woke up, the smell of coffee pervaded the air. Using her sense she homed in on the mug and picked it up gently, taking a good strong gulp of the warm liquid. He watched her drink, like a man out of the desert, just glad to be alive. Making more noise than he needed to he put the empty canister back in the back. Her head snapped round to look at him with blank eyes. “Was it yours?” The mug dangled in her hands and he could feel the guilt radiating from her.
“There’s more if you need it.”

Her face followed his voice around the small camper section as he moved things around and searched for food. Her hands clasped the warm mug and she sniffed the air to find the pot of coffee warming on the small stove. Carefully she touched and found the handle of the pot and held it out over the rim of the mug, using her finger she gauged the depth of the liquid and put the jug down. Holding out the mug toward him with a small smile, as if she’d just done the most important thing in the world. Smiling he took the mug, “Thanks.” His eyes watched her face as he took the mug from them.
“Don’t look so surprised, there’s a lot I can do without eyes you know.”

A moment of darkness passed her face and lodged itself in her smile. “It doesn’t mean I’m helpless, just that I have to adapt better.” His mind latched onto her hands, they were her eyes. He’d known a blind carver once, he could tell you what colour the wood was just by touching it. His work had been alive and full of movement, he’d even seen Xavier holding the small piece he’d given him. Looking and feeling at its simple grace and beauty. The animal wondered what her touch would be like over his skin. Drinking the mug quickly he put the animal part back down and locked it tightly away, it had done its work for today.

“I hope you’re not hungry because I can’t find anything resembling food in here. Obviously the old owner lived on junk food.” His hand threw out an old burger box onto the road. Her face looked confused, “Then why can I smell apples?” She’d seated herself on the small bed again and her movements made it creak ominously.
“Get up.” Unsure of what she had done, she moved slowly and stood next to the bed. Using his nose he smelled the bed, her scent filled his lungs. Sweet, musky and strong, the animal rose to meet the scent and he felt it rise, part of him was glad she couldn’t see as he moved the small mattress. Under there were two small hinged boards, lifting one he found the dry food cache, the other held fruit cheese and juice. Her nose had found the scent of the food and she was leaning on his back breathing in everything, she began to laugh as she told him what she smelled.

“Apples, orange, a juice orange I think, mountain jack cheese and eww liver.” Her laughter was the first normal thing she’d done since the town, at least they’d eat tonight, tomorrow they’d be in town and he could get supplies.
“There’s nothing wrong with liver, as long as its warm,” his words echoed her laugh and she playfully hit out at his back. As they both laughed it took a while for his words to sink in and he found her pulling away from him. He caught the scent of fear from her and he turned to face her, her face was tight and she was shaking.

“Why did you come for me? Back at the bar? Where are we and what do you want with me?” Her hands scrabbled for something to use as a weapon, finding a small screwdriver she held it out in front of her. “I know you nearly killed Chet in the cage and you killed Bud back there. Am I next? Is that it? You take me from there to do god knows what and leave me in the snow to die? Is that it?! Just another piece of mutant trash to be swept up?!”

Her voice was near hysterical and he found it hard to cope with the sudden change of mood and situation. Putting his hands up in defence she struck out blindly and caught the palm of his right hand. The small driver embedding itself in the flesh, she felt it slide into his hand and let go. Dropping to the floor of the camper she shuffled away from him and curled herself into a small ball behind the driver’s seat. Growling in pain he looked at the small handle sticking out of his flesh, he’d have to sort this out now. God knows what she’d stick him with next and looking around the messy truck there was plenty to choose from.

Grabbing her hands and gently easing her out of her corner he sat her back on the remade bed.
“Look if I wanted to hurt you why would I take so many risks trying to get you out of there?” She didn’t look at him, her hands were flat and unmoving. She’d retreated into herself again, the only safe place she knew. Taking her hand he put it around the handle of the small driver and pulled it out. The flesh made a slight sucking sound as the thin shaft came out. She tried to get her hand away but he held it tightly. Dropping the driver he put her sensitive fingers over the wound and waited.
“This is why I came for you.”

Her fingers wet with blood slid across the wound, feeling it as it healed up. Reading the flesh as it knitted back together, until there was nothing but the blood on the back of his hand and on her fingers.
“I’m like you, that’s why I had to get you away from there. I have some” he struggled with the word, “friends. Who you’d be safe with a place where you can be what you are, without fear of someone hurting you. It’s not a home or a prison, it’s a place for our kind to stay until we’re ready to leave it.” Her face streaked with tears looked up at him.
“If this place is so great how come you left?” The words cut him to the bone and he knew that if he lied he’d lose her trust, what little of it he had.

“I lost someone there. She died. I was running from that, not them.” The words were so hard to speak because the tears in his throat and eyes were burning. Her small hand came up to his face and felt the warm trails running down.
“It’s okay. To cry, I mean. They know you loved them. Just like David knew.” He looked into her eyes and he saw the first glow of trust there. Both of them alone. Needing someone to comfort and to be comforted by. They stayed together for an hour, just speaking, talking about each other’s pain. Just being there with someone who understood, even if it was just a little about what it had been like. The time had come to move on, to start again on a new road. Just as he was getting ready to start the engine she asked him the question he’d hoped she wouldn’t.

“So why did she die? Did someone kill her?” All his nerves felt raw and stretched as he answered.
“No, she saved me and others. Using her gifts she helped us to escape a bad situation. Unfortunately she didn’t make it.” Curling up in the passenger seat she turned her large ivory eyes toward his.
“But you know she loved you don’t you?” Hand on the steering wheel he extended a claw and turned on the engine. Looking out at the snow he watched it fall onto the road ahead of him, masking their way back to civilisation.
“Yeah, I do but not in the way I wanted. Not what I wanted at all.” Turning his head to look at her he noticed she was asleep already, turning on the heater he pointed the jets toward her and he drove through the snowy night. Concentrating on the thought of a home where someone waited for him. Fingering his neck where it should be and wondering what she was doing right now and if there was room for him and Bobby.

Well he’d find out as soon as he reached a phone and that was about a hundred miles away. He’d travelled longer and for much less but with a half smile playing in the corners of his mouth he knew someone would be happy to see him home. Even if it did get up Cyc’s nose.

It took them two days to get to the small logging town he’d passed through on his way north. The truck was a heap, he’d tackled three oil leaks, a leaking radiator and soft brakes. His patience was seriously thin. The only good thing about those two days were the conversations he’d had with Damask.

Why name her Damask?

She’d asked him last night as they made themselves comfortable in their beds (she got the small mattress, he slept in the front seat.) what his favourite smell had been. It didn’t take him long, he remembered the rich perfume of the roses at the school. Drinking it into him he’d watched Jean cutting the flowers for her room, he’d asked her what they were and she’d told him. Deep Red Damask Roses.

The memory was a good one and he shared it with her, the way the sunlight lit up her skin and how the red of the roses was so deep it was almost like blood. Damask had asked him how he’d killed Bud, the question had surprised him and he hadn’t answered her. He’d asked her to go to sleep, they had a long days ride ahead and God knew how many stops to fix this old heap.

Now the truck was up in an inspection bay being looked over by a mechanic who was looking rather puzzled. He looked at him, “What is it? And how much to put it right?” The mechanic wiped his hands on a rag and climbed out of the pit. Small and wiry he didn’t look like your typical mechanic but his eyes were honest and his fingers nimble.
“The whole brake systems shot, your discs need replacing and your lucky to get here alive with that leak in the gas tank. Just glad it’s been snowing or you’d be dead by now bud.” His face showed actual concern for his plight and he wondered how long it would last if he knew what he really was.

“Like I said, how much?” The man looked him up and down obviously setting his price based on the clothing he was wearing. What he saw did not inspire confidence.
“Well, brand new we’re talking around a grand for each but second hand around seven-fifty. Can you stretch to that? Even less if you can help out.” Smiling Logan picked up a wrench and hopped down into the pit.
“Well, we’d better get started then.”

***********************************************

The small motel room he’d found was dingy but clean, he’d left her there in front of the small heater exploring the room by smell and touch. Knocking quietly at the door first, he let himself in. The room had been re-arranged, the bed was now next to the heater on one side, the chairs had been put together to form another bed, the small table had what was left of their food prepared and laid out. She was in the small bathroom washing her hands when he came in. He could smell her stronger now, the enclosed warmth made it seem heady and sweet. Turning toward the door she smiled as she recognised his scent, “You're back. What’s the verdict? Are we mobile or stuck here?” as she approached she smelt the oil and grease that still covered him. “Ah, that bad then.”

“Hold out your hands,” she did so gingerly. He placed the small sack of goods in her hands. There was something from the small store that he knew she’d need soon, his nose never lied to him and it didn’t now. Excited she went straight to the bed and started to unpack it, comb, toothbrushes, paste, de-odorant and a small box. Her fingers traced the slight raised letters and her face bloomed red. Her voice was small as she spoke “Thank you. I didn’t know I’d need them so soon. I tended not to notice that much before.”

Quickly taking the things into the small bathroom she placed each item carefully, including the special box. He watched her discomfort about something as simple and natural as her own period. She’d have a few lessons to learn when they got back to the school, if they got back at this rate.
Tired he pulled one of the small padded chairs out of its configuration and sat down. Picking up a lump of cheese he stuffed it into his mouth and moaned heavily, he forgot how good things tasted. Especially when on the road.

He watched as she brushed her teeth, using small delicate strokes, her eyes following the brush handle in the mirror. How many other simple things had she been without? How would she cope with the school? All those hormone driven young boys for start, she’d be the bomb, literally. He could see them all watching her, drooling after her as she walked by, just a slight scent of her would drive those guys insane. It was all he could do not to touch her himself.

His mind went back to their first night in the truck. She’d been asleep on the small bed and he’d been woken by a deer sniffing around outside. Annoyed he taken a deep breath and had been assaulted by Damask’s peculiarity. She was all around him, the sweetness of musky sexuality of her was everywhere, inside his lungs, inside his mind. The animal rose to this new and exciting smell, he was out of the front seat and making his way to the bed before he’d caught himself. His hand was reaching out for the cover to get into bed with her and looking at himself he hadn’t just been wanting to keep her warm.

His mind had seethed with shame that night and he’d pushed the thoughts down and into the truck, if he could get the damn thing going he could make it. She’d be safe and he’d be away from the temptation. Yet underneath it all, he really wanted to feel her skin next to his, to feel her fingers trace over his flesh, to hold her small frame in his hands and show her that sex isn’t pain but beautiful and deep.

The animal just leered at her small frame and wanted her now! He wasn’t going to lower himself to their standards, they called themselves human but acted more like the animal they called him. Turning around he went back to his bed and tried not to think about the small fragile body behind him but the ache in one part of him took almost all night to subside. Making him cranky and snappy the next day.

“So what’s the town like?” Her voice snapped him out of his memory, she was stood in the doorway. Leaning on the frame, a small smile on her lips and for a moment he saw Marie not her. Blinking away the vision he straightened up.
“Same as any other. A few stores, a bar, garage and pump, one road in and out. Not much else to see.” She walked over to the bed and sat down, just glad to have his company, not to be alone anymore.
“Can I go to the bar?” Her question floored him. He looked at her face with incredulity, she had to be joking surely. He’d been around the town, there weren’t many women here and if they caught scent of her she’d be back in the same situation she’d just come from.

“Not a good idea Damask, there’s not many women here and with your”, he struggled for the right word “Ability. You could get into a lot of trouble real quick.” Her head hung down as the words hit home. Pulling her legs up onto the bed she huddled next to the heater, her scent being thrown around the room by its convection. He knew she was annoyed, but the smell of her was overwhelming. The room seemed too small all of a sudden and he needed to get away, away before he did something he’d regret. Standing up quickly, all the tiredness seemed to have left him and his skin was filled with fire. Only her hands on him would put it out and he couldn’t do that, so he’d leave. “I’m going back to the truck. Try to get some more work done.” Her face turned to watch him leave but he knew her nose had caught the true reason, he’d wanted to but he hadn’t.

**********************************************

The snow was coming down again as he entered the workshop, looking for the mechanic he wasn’t surprised that he wasn’t there. Checking on the truck, he found the new brakes had been fitted and the hole in the radiator had been fixed. Hopefully they’d be out of here tomorrow. Walking to the bar he went inside and found the little man eating his dinner. The smell of warm food made his mouth water, he needed to be filled by something and food would do for now. He couldn’t answer the other hunger that gnawed at him, the one that involved Damask and the bed.

Seating himself next to the small mechanic ordering his food and exchanged news with him. The little man had lots of ideas but no money to make them happen, he found himself getting to like the little guy. After they’d both eaten they talked some more over the hockey game that was playing on the old tv in the corner. Here he could just be another man passing through he had no past, no pain, just another human being passing the time with another. The night went on, as did the snow.

Falling heavily now, the reflected light made the bottles behind the bar sparkle. Beer went to whiskey and back to beer. Slowly getting drunk he realised that it might be time to get back to Damask, she was alone again in a room where the outside was a prison as much as it was the last time. But she had the heater didn’t she? She’d be fine, he was sure of that. Upturning the bottle he found he was dry and the barman had gone to bed, the small mechanic was asleep on the bar and he had the whole place to himself. Throwing down a fifty he reached under, brought out a bottle and sat in an old booth and drank till he fell asleep.

Cold woke him the room was freezing. All the lights were off and his breath plumed in the air in the bar. Shaking himself sober he pushed his way out of the booth and looked out of the bar’s window. Snow was drifted up against the glass, what he could see in the pre-dawn light was a town without power. All the heat had been leeched out of the room by the open glass, his eyes searched for the heater and he found it. Just like the one in the motel and it was cold to the touch.

Damask!

Pulling the door open he entered a freezer, the wind was cutting even to his skin. Frost formed on his hair and skin as he struggled through the drifts to the small motel. The snow had piled up against the back wall of the building, leaving the open forecourt clear. Shaking off as much snow as he could he went to their door and opened it.

His breath plumed in here, it was as cold in here as it was outside. Shutting the door tight behind him he looked for her, he found her wrapped up on the bed shivering with cold. Her skin was blue and her lips were pale. He had to get her warm or he’d lose her. He had no choice now, he had to hold her.

Sliding off his wet clothes he shuddered in the cold room, opening the covers he climbed in and pulled her small form toward him. Her skin was icy and it leeched all the heat from him in seconds. Her body uncurled and sought the source of heat, pulling herself closer until she was almost inside his skin. As she warmed, her scent bloomed again and he couldn’t get away from her this time, she needed him.

With her head on his chest she slowly came round from the cold, her eyes opened and she tensed, sending fear rippling through him. Did she think he was going to hurt her? Then she relaxed again, her muscles flowing into the warmth he provided. “I’m sorry” the words didn’t seem enough. He’d left her alone in a strange place, with no way of getting out and hadn’t thought about her if the worst had happened, which it had. Bringing her head up to look in his face she answered.
“What for?”
“For leaving you here alone, in the cold.”
“But you came back didn’t you?” her voice small and rich in the darkness, matching the scent that rose from her as she warmed up. He looked down into her eyes and knew that she could see him, if not with her eyes then with her fingers, they traced the patterns of scars around his back and over his shoulders. He watched her face change as she discovered each new scar, touching and exploring each ridge and furrow.

Trying to think of the snow outside, the cold, anything but what was happening to him right now. Her breath tickled him, as did her short hair, her shirt rubbed against his bare skin and he felt the animal rise. Growling softly his hands slid under the shirt, gently stroking her mottled skin, pushing his hand under the waistband of her trousers he found the smooth rise of her hips and began to lose control. Looking down at her he had to know, “Do you?” he never got to finish the sentence as her mouth met his and he knew the answer to his question.

He ached for her, but it wasn’t just her gift that did this. He needed to feel again, to feel alive, to touch another person who wanted him to. Not just the touch of a killer, who could feel through his claws but the touch of a warm living being who wanted him to touch them. Her breath was sweet as their lips parted, her eyes glowed in the darkness with an urgency he had never seen before, did he do the same to her as she did to him? Had she been waiting too, hoping for the right moment? He knew her sense of smell was as good as his, did he make her need him, was that it?

“I need you,” her voice honey coated and dark pulled him closer to her and his hands gripped her slowly warming flesh. She could smell his confusion and she provided the answer. “You won’t hurt me, I just need to feel you, with me, in me. After everything that’s happened I just need one good memory, one good thought to hold onto. Can you give me that? Could you?”

His hand moved to her chin and he raised her head, looking at her eyes brimming with diamonds he kissed her, softly, tenderly. Even though he wanted to rush, wanted to be an animal, he didn’t. He unbuttoned her shirt slowly, making each touch of her skin count. It wasn’t just her fingers that were sensitive, it was all of her skin.

Pulling off the shirt and trousers he put them under the pillow, to keep them dry and warm. Leaving her with the long johns, all soft and warm against her skin, skin so sensitive that the burns must have been excruciatingly painful. His hands deftly avoided each one, tracing the unblemished skin around them. Turning the pain into pleasure. Her small breasts budded as he touched her skin, his fingers gently caressing each smooth inch of her, taking his time, making it last, making a memory.

Stretching her out by the side of him, he eased his thigh between her legs. Moving her so she was straddled across him, his eyes boring into her as he watched her as she moved against him. She knew what she wanted all he was doing was helping her to get it, without pain, without force, just helping her feel. Holding her steady and tight she rode him, each new movement bringing more colour to her face. Her head against his chest her breath came in gasps as she thrust against the hard muscle of his thigh, his own sex swelled as he smelled her spicy scent mixed with dampness. Hand holding the small of her back tight against him, her delicate fingers digging into the flesh of his shoulders. Her movements becoming faster, stronger, his finger brushed her small nipples and he watched as she found the memory she’d needed. Her body arched as the waves of pleasure filled her and rolled over her small frame, flushed pink her face lifted to his and she kissed him hungrily.

Her scent filled his small warm world, he ached for her and he wouldn’t be denied now. Manoeuvring her off his damp thigh his fingers sought her under the soft fabric, her face flushing again as he touched her and sending shudders down her back. Her hips moved to allow him access to her, sliding his fingers slowly and gently into her warmth. Growling softly at the heat he found there, her delicate hands found him and moved over his already strong erection. Her touch was electric, now he knew why they’d kept her, her touch fired nerves to their limit and beyond. He’d never felt this way with anyone, but this was a lie, there was someone. It had happened nearly two years ago, when he’d first gotten involved with the school, when he’d nearly killed Marie. His mind recoiled from the memory and he moved away from Damask, shocked by what he’d admitted to himself.

Damask opened her eyes and looking up at him wondered if she had done something wrong, he could smell her doubt and guilt. No, he wasn’t going to make this a painful memory for her. Moving closer he added another finger to his already exploring two and he felt her give and melt under him. Her hands slid the soft fabric down over her legs and she sighed with the feel of the material as it slid off her skin. Leaving them in the warm bed she laid herself flat, ready for him, wanting him to take her. But not like that, she was the one in control here, not him.

Moving her up and over, he positioned himself under her. Pulling out the shirt from under the pillow he put her in it, feeling the warmth from her on his stomach and making him ache even more. “Keep you warm,” was all he managed to say as he slid further down the bed, his face now inches away from her heat and smell. Unsure of what he was doing she held the folds of the shirt shut until his tongue touched her, then it no longer mattered. Using his hands to support her thighs across his shoulders, tongue tracing her sweetness her felt her shudder and her breath hold. Smiling, he kissed her lips and found the source of her scent, her pleasure.

Moving his tongue over the raised nub he felt her rock backwards as if punched and he had to grab her tightly to keep her straight. Moving back up the bed, her body still arched from his tongue he slid himself underneath her. Her face was up at the ceiling as he gently brought her down on him, she was like silk, tight, hot and wet. He gritted his teeth as he fought the urge to come there and then as he filled her. She snapped her head down as they locked together, her light frame filled by him, her eyes expressive and wild. Gently moving her forwards he felt himself move inside her, entering her fully. Her own hands traced around her skin, touching her nipples making them hard. Moving himself upward till he was supported by the wall, her straddling his hips. He needed to see her face, to watch the emotions pass across it, to feel what she felt.

Her hands pushed against his chest as she moved herself back and forward, he could feel himself sliding inside her. His grip on her tightened as she began to speed up. Her face flushed and red she gasped again as the wave rode over her, voice hoarse as she spoke. “Fuck me, please. Let go Logan, you won’t hurt me.”

Inside the animal howled and broke free, pushing himself up from the bed in one movement, holding her in his grip and turned her against the wall. Snarling he pressed her back to the wall, using it as support. His eyes burned into her face as his hands brought her hips downward, hard into him, thrusting himself even deeper into her. Using his strength he pushed her across the wall, her face buried in his neck, biting the skin there, making him growl and exciting him further. He could feel it rising, felt the familiar tickle as fluids moved.

His hands moved from her hips to her shoulders, wrapping her thin legs around him he pushed off away from the wall and stood supporting her. He could feel himself rising, he was nearly there. “Look at me, lift your head up. Look at me.” The words came out quick and aggressive, her head snapped up and she looked at him, face to face. Her milky eyes scanning his face as he pulled her face to his, as their lips met he came inside her. Shuddering in its intensity he held her tightly against him as filled her with himself. He could feel it flow from her, running down his thigh making him hard again. Pulling back he watched as tears began to flow from her ivory eyes, holding her close, still inside her he let her cry.

Standing he slowly moved himself deeper inside her again, the tears cleaning the pain away, the pleasure and comfort healing the scars of her ordeal. She was in control here, it was what she’d wanted, he’d do anything she wanted him to. He growled softly in her ear, pulling her down on him again and making her gasp. They weren’t finished yet, dawn light was pushing under the door but he wasn’t tired, not by a long way.

Moving back to the bed, he laid her down gently and stroked her tears away with his fingers. Looking at her laid out on the bed, her flesh pink and warm, she could have passed for normal if it wasn’t for her eyes. A pang of guilt rode in on his happiness, he’d used her like they had, gotten what he’d wanted. Feeling his discomfort she touched his face and felt the lines there.
“What’s wrong?” His hand came up to hold hers, stroking the fine delicate skin.
“Is this what you wanted? It’s just that I feel like, I’ve used you, to get what I wanted. If I have I…” His voice trailed off, unable to even think of what he would do if he had but already the warmth was slipping away, being replaced by anger and shame.

“No, no. Logan, I needed you. I asked you, I made the first move. You didn’t hurt me,” tears sprang anew, from both of them this time. “I only asked you to give me a memory, you’ve given me much more than that. You've given me, 'me'.” Holding her head close to his chest he felt her tears run down into his hair, feeling his own roll down his face. To have someone to hold him while he cried, being fragile and open. How many other times had he dreamed of this, when he had been alone, afraid and distant from the world. How many times had he wanted it to be Jean? Lifting her head she kissed the tear trails and followed them to his eyes, her lips soft and warm, stirring him back into life.

“It my turn to help you, I’m here and you're not alone anymore. Not today, we’re alive and warm, lets just concentrate on that. Let go Logan, let me help you feel again.” Her face flushed a little as she spoke, “It hasn’t been easy for me either, you have a scent too. Something, maybe it’s your animal, the one that’s inside. It calls me.” The last few words were quiet and he moved his head down to look at her.
“What?” Looking up into his face her tears stopped and dry she explained.
“I was serving drinks by the Cage when I caught you, you passed by within a couple of feet but I felt you. Something sent a shudder down me and I carried on serving, until the fight. I’d hidden myself next to the Cage, trying to get away from Chet, that’s when he saw you inside and decided to have a go himself. I’m glad he got beaten.” There was a touch of iron in her voice there and she tightened up against him, brushing her nipples against his chest. Making him ache for her again but he wanted to hear her out first.

“I could sense you in there, like a tiger, pacing and pacing, raging all the time, needing to fight or to be hurt. You overwhelmed me and I went back to the bar. Then I passed you again, closer that time and I breathed you in, your surprise and your interest. So I waited near the bar, just in case. Chet was the favourite and you won, so you could have been killed and I didn’t want that.” Her face blushed, “I needed you, I wanted you, there. So I just loosed my ‘gift’ on them and you got away, it was just bad luck that Bud caught me in the diner. But it turned out for the best didn’t it?”

He knew the question was there and she gave it voice, “You never did answer me about that, how did you do it? I never felt anything, he’d finished and then he just wasn’t there anymore. I need to know Logan, for my peace of mind, that he’s not just injured somewhere and going to come back for me.” Her voice tightened as she spoke, Bud had been her main tormenter by the sounds of it and she needed to know. He just hoped she didn’t run when he showed her.

“Okay, give me your hand”, he took her hand gently and laid it on the back of his own, her fingers just resting above where the blades appeared. Slowly he released the blades in his arm, the flesh separated as the blade sliced through his flesh. Her breath caught as she felt it come out of the back of his hand, her fingers deftly touching the warm metal. He could feel her touch on it, gentle, soft, like snow. Her fingers moved across his hand touching the other two blades that forced themselves from his skin. New tears sparkled in her eyes and he thought that she felt pity for him, for what he was.

“You killed him, with these?” Her voice sounding uncertain and hesitant, he didn’t answer her, he just nodded and waited for her voice to show disgust. She didn’t speak for a moment, silent tears falling like diamonds in the pale dawn light. He almost missed her voice when she spoke. “I’m free.”
She turned her face into his and whispered her delight into him, “He’s dead isn’t he? He’s never coming back, you killed him, for me.” His heart jumped when she spoke, he’d been waiting for her to pull away from him, to feel pity and disgust at what he was. She hadn’t she held onto him all the tighter as he explained what they were and how he’d got them, what little he could remember.

“So you’re kind of a knight then? Only with the armour on the inside?” He’d never thought about it that way maybe that would explain why he’d walled off so many emotions inside. Encased in adamantium he had no way of releasing what he felt, except through his extensions, his claws. They talked until the heat came back on, holding each other and just feeling the sensation of being with someone.

When the room was warm they had sex again, slowly, exploring everything within themselves as they did. He ran the backs of his claws down her skin, feeling her writhe under them as the warm metal met her flesh. Making him aware that he could use them for other things than just killing, he could feel with them too.
Letting him take control this time, comfortable with him being there, in charge. He wouldn’t hurt her he couldn’t hurt her. As he moved them over her chest his mind brought back the picture of Marie, skewered on his claws. Could he remember what that felt like? Sheathing the blades he paused as they retracted and tried to remember, did she hurt or was she afraid? How had she felt? He’d never thought to ask her, until now.

Concentrating on Damask he turned her onto her knees, moving up behind her, he slid one hand under her, raising her hips toward him. His fingers playing in the soft folds of flesh, already warm and wet, he heard her gasp as his fingers played there. Sliding himself in slowly, feeling the sides of her part to allow him entry, then close, gripping him tightly. Feeling as if they were one body. Pushing gently he supported his weight with one arm, not leaning on her or crushing her with his weight. She was free to move on his hand and she did so, pushing her hips backward to meet each thrust. Moving his hand to support her weight, he freed her hands and she stroked her own breasts, shuddering at the pleasure she found there. Closing his eyes he felt with his senses, the silk like movement of her hips against him, the slide of muscle with each thrust forward and the pressure of her hips as she ground herself against him.

His mind threw a vision of Marie under him, face red and skin hot to the touch. Her breasts bare and her hand holding him in way he hoped she didn’t know. Pushing harder into Damask as the vision unfolded in his mind, Marie’s lips on his, hot and sweet, tasting of the cherry gloss she used everyday. Grabbing her hair and smelling it as he pulled back her head to gnaw on her neck. Each thrust gaining momentum, every push back harder than the last, he could feel the flow again, coming from his feet, up through him, past the vision of Marie into the reality of Damask.

As he filled her, he growled Marie’s name under his breath. He hoped Damask hadn’t heard him, he didn’t want to upset her. But he needn’t have worried, her own mouth was forming the word ‘David’ as he reached over and laid her back down on the bed. Muscles still shuddering from the effort he reached around her front and let his fingers play a while, let her enjoy his memory a little bit longer. She finally fell asleep after three shuddering fits that made him wonder if she would ever stop needing more. He needed some sleep too. Curling up to her in bed, he drew the covers around them and fell asleep, knowing that the dreams would be good this time. Knowing that someone needed him both here and at home.

Home, home was calling, as was Marie.

It took two days to fully fix the camper, the fuel leak had been much more of a problem than either of them had realised. It would take a long night and an early morning to fix. He’d been woken by Damask earlier that morning, she’d been stroking his chest with her fingers. Her face concentrating and working something out, it was only when he’d fully woken up that he realised that he’d slept without dreaming. He replayed the conversation that had changed things between them as he finished the last connection to the new fuel tank.

“Do you love her?”
“Who, Jean?” He’d been about to answer her when she’d interrupted him.
“No, Marie.” She had heard him.
“Who is she?” His body betrayed him and she caught it, “I didn’t mean to upset you,” the scent from him was sour and harsh. Clearing his throat he spoke.

“Marie is a young woman like you, I found her,” he paused and rethought his answer. “Well she found me at Laughlin City, I was just passing through; travelling as I had done for years. She hid in my trailer and almost froze to death doing it.” As he spoke about her his scent changed to warm musk and he could feel Damask responding to it. Her fingers were gently stroking him, lighting up trails across his flesh, bringing the animal to the surface. He looked at her flushed skin and read her need there in its colour. Her eyes lifted and pierced him with their strange beauty. “You want her don’t you?” Her scent filled his world, fogging his mind, filling him with desire and need. Fighting for his mind he spoke.
“Yeah, I suppose I do but I can’t. She can’t be touched by anyone, her skin takes the life from you. No-one can touch her, not even me.”

He remembered the Statue Of Liberty, of holding her in his arms, feeling her body against his, wishing for all he was worth that she was still alive That he’d see her smile again, to hear her laugh and to brush away the tears she’d shed. If that was love then yes, he loved her.

Loved her since that night she’d found him, he’d felt her eyes on him in the cage, smelled her desire for him as she’d watched him sit down next to her. Felt her breath as he’d passed her when he’d left after almost killing his earlier opponent. The scent of her had haunted him all that day and he’d wondered why, until he’d found her, huddled and shivering in the back of his trailer. Part of him had soared with joy when he’d seen her but he’d wanted to be alone, to be the same unchanging animal he’d been for over 15 years. She’d changed all that, gotten him involved with the Professor, Jean and the school, even Cyc. Remembering the dream that had caused his first touch of her, the hurt and suffering he’d endured, the searing pain and the release into the animal he had become, Wolverine.

Seeing her on his claws, the pain and hurt that was echoed there in her eyes, she’d seen the dream. It lay between them like a wall, until he could face that pain he could never get through to her, to listen to what she saw and understand why she’d been there in his room in the first place. Why had she been there? His room was far enough away for her not to hear him dream, so why?
Could she still hear him as he could her? After Jean’s death she had been around him a lot of the time, until Bobby had spoken to her about it and had diverted her attention. But he could still feel her near him, could still feel her thoughts when he concentrated hard enough.

When he’d left he hadn’t said goodbye, they all knew he needed to be alone sometimes and he came back usually after a few days. But this time he’d seen Marie watch him leave, as if she knew he might not be coming back. As if she wanted a memory of him, and he of her before things changed. Her hand had been at her throat fingering the dog tag there, burning everything into her memory, his scent, his eyes, his body, his heart. He couldn’t lie to Damask, he loved her and that was the one thing that still caused him pain. He couldn’t love her how he wanted to, how he could with Damask.

They’d talked about her that morning and how he really felt about her, how he’d found his saviour in her, in a young woman with skin he couldn’t touch. That had built a wall between Damask and him, they wanted each other but they didn’t. Respect for the love he held for her was there and he knew that he couldn’t, now he knew who his heart really needed.

He’d held Damask then and silently cried into her, he’d left her alone when she’d needed him, just like he had with Marie. Forgiveness was easy from Damask but would it be the same from Marie? She needed him and he’d been blind, trying to gain the love of a woman who was never going to be his, whose heart had already been won by Cyc years before he’d even shown up. Jean had loved him but not in the way he’d wanted, so he’d tried harder not smarter, she’d known who had loved him and who needed him. She’d even told him that Marie needed him and what did he do?

He’d left, chasing after the nightmares and dreams, finding out the truth about himself and his creator. Hating himself even more when they lost Jean in the flood, leaving a wound in the whole school that would take years to heal. He’d just thought about himself, as he’d always done but she was in there too. Her thoughts, her feelings, her needs for him. It had taken finding Damask to reveal the truth, that he was needed by them, as if fate had replayed itself for him. Saving Damask was saving himself, making love to her was making love to Marie.

*************************************************

They’d gotten dressed and he’d gone out to fix the truck, leaving Damask unsure of her place in his heart but assured that he had one. Now after a final day of repairs that had almost wiped out the bank roll he was ready to get going, back home to where she was waiting for him.

The snow ploughs had been out and cleared the worst of it from the roads, fuelled up and laden with provisions he went to pick up Damask. As he passed the small store he saw the newspaper pinned up on the window. The picture showed a house in flames, the headline “Mutants kill family of 3 in Sick Game.” Stopping he read the by line and felt the animal rise inside him, the door opened and the owner nodded to him.
“They say there’s a mutant round here, travellin’ with another of their kind. If I were them I wouldn’t hang round here much longer. Most folks round here aren’t too wordy, they just look at the pictures.” His eyes met his and an understanding passed between them.
“Yeah no doubt they’ll be long gone by now, although the snow has been a bit difficult.”

The old man’s eyes glinted in the winter sun.
“Can’t say as I know that son, but the old pass over the hill there”, he pointed with a hand bitten by arthritis “has never been troubled much by snow, roads almost always clear up that way. Takes longer mind you, but its safe. Not many folks use it anymore, the old mine it led to gave up over twenty years ago. Nope nothing but foresters up there now and we all know how social they are.” His eyes spoke for him as he walked back into the warmth of his shop. “Not that I’d tell you youngsters anything worth hearing.”

He winked as he shut the door, sending a sweet smell of dry goods into the cold crisp air. There was hope in his words and his attitude, the old man didn’t care who they were or what they were, just that they were alive and deserved respect. Feeling lifted by the old mans generosity and kindness he went to pick up Damask.


He found her packing their stuff back into a small rucksack, he watched her quietly for a while through the window, struggling with the new emotions he was feeling. For years he’d just looked after himself, no-one else to worry about or care for. But here she was, another Marie but a mirror image this time. Where Marie was dark she was pale, where no-one could touch Marie, everyone wanted to touch Damask. As he opened the door he saw her face turn toward him, her hair moved slightly in the cold breeze that entered with him. Picking up the small rucksack she hefted it easily, “Are we ready? Is it going to get us out of here now?” Her voice had a strained quality to it and he knew she was hurting, he’d rejected her earlier.

Denied his animal needs and just held her and she felt betrayed. He had to sort this before they left, or it’d haunt both of them. Keeping them prisoner in a dingy motel room inside themselves, like he had been with his memories, they both deserved better than this. He walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against him. The cold cloth making her pale, she fought a little, pushing against his body. Trying to get away from him, away from the source of pain and back to where they had been a few days ago.

“I hate you.” The words dripped venom and her eyes clouded with silver tears, “Why did you make me care about you? Why didn’t you leave me there, I could have got away.” He knew as the words left her mouth how stupid she felt, how ridiculous she’d sounded. She never could have left that place, she’d had died before she’d got out of the small town; just another frozen corpse by the roadside. “I need you and your going back to her aren’t you?” He took his time in answering her.
“Yes I’m going back but your coming with me.”
“But not how I want to be, not with you.”

He looked at her small face and the pain he’d caused was etched on it for all to see. Hoping the pain would subside in her heart and his as they made their way home.
“Yeah but that’s the way it is Damask, I do care for you but I can’t love you like you want me to. We both needed someone, something but not now,” he lifted her face so he could look into her expression. “I’ll always be close to you but not in the same way. Not ever again. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you but your too special to me to throw this away on an animal need. You mean more to me than a body to fill, or a scent to follow.”

His eyes burned into her, trying to search for her reaction to his words, a small flush entered her cheeks and he knew he’d reached her. Her hands snaked around his middle and he felt her arms hug him tightly, crushing herself into him. Losing herself in him, bonding their scents together, mixing them so thoroughly that they became a heady mixture of musk and sweetness. They’d never be apart, not now, not ever but it was a different feeling; not lovers but more than friends. She looked up into his face smiling “Lets get out of here.”
“Your wish is my command,” healing the moment of pain they left the remains in the small room behind them, like two butterflies tasting the air for the first time on bright wings.

*******************************************************

A home in front of them, the past forgotten and shattered like a bad memory. Climbing into the truck he had Damask get into the back and to start sorting the supplies into the cupboards. As he drove out of the small town, he saw the old storekeeper talking to a group of men. One he recognised as the Money man from the other town, the old man waved as they passed and winked. They had a head start and if the old man was true to his word they’d be free from hassle all the way to the interstate. Maybe trusting someone wasn’t that bad, but he’d hold judgement till he was home.

They stopped at a lake that night, the roads had been as good as the old man had said and they’d managed at least two hundred miles that day. Eating as they travelled, stopping only when nature demanded, they made good time. Passing deer that were unafraid of man and wolves that had come to have a look at what was making all the noise as they passed through their territory. Now they had stopped for the night, he could think again. Sat outside in the cold air relishing the thought of the water on his skin, he didn’t mind the cold it made him feel alive. To feel the blood pumping round his body, shivering in the cool water, making the goose bumps rise. That did it, he was going swimming.

Taking up a container he went down to the lake and filled it, bringing it back he knocked on the door. Damask popped her head out.
“Yeah?” He pushed the water container into her hands.
“Warm this up and get a wash. We both need it after today.” She felt the size of the container.
“There’s not enough here for both of us.” A smile crept across his face.
“That’s because I’m using the lake.” He watched as her eyes widened and her mouth stuttered the words.
“You must be mad, it’s freezing!”
Laughing at her surprise and watching as she shut the door on him, still muttering about how he must be totally insane and not to expect her to come and rescue him from freezing himself stupid.

Undressing as he walked down to the lake, he left his boots till last. Seated on a boulder he could feel the cool air from the lake making his skin crawl. Brushing his skin as he put his clothes and boots on the boulder to keep them dry he decided to dive straight in. Doing it by degrees only leeched more heat from him, better just to do it all at once.

The water was freezing, his breath came in short sharp gasps and felt his skin go into shock. Heart pumping wildly as it fought to control the bodies blood supply, pushing blood pressure skyward. Feet touching the bottom of the lake he pushed out into the deeper water, where the cold was more bearable. Swimming with long easy strokes, feeling the muscles unknot in the water, easing his back from the monotony of driving. Looking back at the truck he saw Damask pulling the small curtains shut as she prepared to get washed. He’d have liked to share this with her, the feeling of the water against her skin would have been wonderful for her. Like an all over caress, wondering if she’d actually learned to swim, or had she missed out on that too?

Deciding to head back he caught sight of movement to the left of the boulder he’d put his clothes on, small furtive movements. Someone or something sneaking around. Putting more effort into it he powered back to the shore line, feet hitting the bottom of the lake and crouching down as he walked up the shore. Keeping as much of him covered by the water, sniffing the air. Pine tar. The smell burned his sinus, the scent of whiskey drifted over from the right, mixed with diesel and salt. His eyes picked out the new looking truck in the darkness and he felt the animal rise again. The old man had lied to him, sold them out. Burning with anger as he moved silently through the water. Hardly making a ripple he crawled out of the water, grabbing clothes he made a dash for the cover of some bushes. He’d watch and wait for them to make the first move, then he’d finish it.

Keeping silent he watched as two men crept around the truck, he didn’t recognise either of them. He had a good memory for faces and these didn’t match any he’d seen in the last few days, what were they doing here? There wasn’t much difference in size between the two men, but both were sending out fear so tangible you could cut it with a knife. One pulled out a small handgun and readied himself with the door to the truck, the other went for the drivers door.

So that was their game, a little robbery and maybe a bit of fun too. Then just dump the bodies in the lake, no one’s the wiser and the road isn’t used much. Growling softly as the blades split his skin he stalked off toward the back of the truck, the guy was counting down from twenty. He got to ten before he got to him, sliding his hand over the mans mouth and gripping it tight he pulled him away into the dark. It didn’t take long. The gun he’d been carrying lay next to him, rusted and useless. Whoever they were, they weren’t professionals.

A long scream snapped him back to the truck, running back he saw the other man falling out of the drivers door, hands to his face screaming. Damask was there her skin bare to the cold, holding a small iron pan and swatting the air ineffectually. Seeing her in tears, shaking with fear, he loosed the animal at the man in front of him. Pouring his rage into his frame, breaking bones, slicing and stabbing until he’d opened him completely. He finally heard her calling for him. Her voice shaky and frightened he went straight to her, his claws receding as he walked.

“I’m here, I’m here.” Her hands dropped the pan and she gripped him like life itself. Tears flooded from her and she collapsed into him, gently he picked her up took her back into the camper part. Dressing her again in her shirt holding her close, as her tears finally stopped lifting her face to his. “Next time you’re coming in with me, no matter what. Next time your going in the water with me, you never know you might like it.” Her lips formed a tight smile.
“Yeah as if you’d ever get me in something that cold.” It was nice to see her smile quickly after the attack on the truck.
“There’s always hot springs you know, like natures whirlpool baths. But the smell can be pretty ripe.” Her nose wrinkled as he spoke and she pushed herself back up and away from him.
“For someone who’s just been swimming you really do smell bad, what did you do to them? You smell like you’ve been in a pile of vomit.” Looking down at his clothes he took in the stains and drying blood of the thief. He looked like a poster for Psychotic’s Monthly.

“Yeah I suppose I’d better get changed but there’s a couple of things I need to do first.” Like get rid of the bodies and burn these clothes. He hoped their van had some others he could use. He always travelled light, just one spare set and that was on the bike. She realised what he meant and started to fill the small pan again with water, putting it on the small electric heater she turned to him.
“There’ll be hot water waiting for you when you get finished. Cold water is fine for bathing in but blood takes hot water to shift.” Looking at her in a new light he watched as she reset everything, the soap and towel, the bowl and the container. She was in charge in here, her confidence in fighting back from her attacker, using the hot water to blind him. He smiled and got on with the job of clearing up.

*******************************************************

The two men sank easily when he’d finished with them, tying stones to them to add weight. He’d pulled their wallets and found nothing but their driving licences and a couple of photos. Them at the lake in summer, fishing and having fun. Placing the wallets in the small fire he’d built he watched as they disappeared, no more evidence to show where they were or who they were. If there were fish in that lake, come next season they’d be bone and the fish would be a lot fatter. Good for the next fisherman who came here. His eyes strayed to the van and he wondered what he’d find in there.

Taking the keys he wandered over to the new looking van, the whole thing screamed car-jack. The tyres weren’t even made to cope with this terrain and the suspension shouldn’t be leaking as it was. Opening the door with the key he climbed aboard and was hit by the smell of rotting food, finding the source of the stink he threw it out. The spoiled carton of milk splashing across the pebbled lakeshore.
Clearing the air he switched on the internal lights of the van and saw the blood stains on the drivers seat. Sniffing the air he found the lingering scent of blood everywhere, the whole van was full of it. Whatever had happened it had been messy, the van looked pretty clean but it wasn’t the recent owners who’d kept the brass handles on the cupboards polished and clean.

Searching through the cupboards and storage spaces he found a small photograph of an elderly couple, smiling into the camera lense. Hope etched on their faces as they held up the keys to their new freedom, a banner behind them read ‘Happy Travels, Bob & Macey’. Whoever they had been he hoped it hadn’t lasted too long. Pushing down the anger as he searched through the rest of the drawers and cupboards, finding a couple of warm shirts for himself and some clothing and underwear for Damask. Stuff that would come in handy as they got nearer to civilisation. Packing a small plastic bag with everything he’d need he switched off the lights and wiped the brass handles he’d held. Removing all trace of him ever being there, their own small truck in front of him seemed warmer and more tangible than the van behind him.

Climbing up into the truck he caught the pan as it came down, “Hey, watch where you’re swinging that.” His voice showing a little annoyance at being treated like a intruder. Damask blushed.
“I’m sorry. Just a bit jumpy that’s all.” She could smell the other camper on him. “What’s their van like? Is it worth swapping over?” Her face was full of curiosity and hope, which he dashed.
“It’s like this one but worse, believe me. We’re sticking with what we have.” Her mouth began to form another question but she caught his scent and closed it. Quietly he handed her the clothing and underwear he’d found in there. Taking a warm shirt he went outside, carrying the soap, towel and dish and went to make himself clean again.

****************************************************

The stars were out and he stood there naked underneath their stares, wondering if civilisation was really what he wanted. Did he really want to go back to the place where people preyed on each other? Where they killed each other for the smallest thing? For being different, a different colour, a different religion, a mutant? Feeling the warm water run over his skin he needed to clean the scent of death from him, to feel new again. Like he had when he’d made love to Damask, the memory twitched awake in his mind. Would it hurt, just once more? The animal drooled at the prospect but he crushed it down. Yes it would. He’d hurt her and confuse her even more, including what he’d do to himself.

Watching the blood run from his hands and spatter on the pebbles, painting them dark in the starlight. He was a killer yes but he was a protector too and they all needed him. The raid on the school had proven that. Turning his head he saw Damask at the door of the truck, dressed in a pair of jeans and good shoes and a big jumper. She climbed down and began to pick her way toward him, she had another pan of water with her, gently steaming in the cold air.
“Over here.” She turned toward the voice and walked a little more confidently. Taking the pan from her hands he poured it into the bowl. “Thanks.” Her face lit up as he handed back the pan.
“Your welcome. I thought you might need it.” Her hands rubbed the soft wool of the jumper and her face was a warm shade of pink. “These are really warm, thanks.”

She made to sit down on the boulder where his new clothes were, putting her hands directly in the middle of them, stirring the scents there. Realising that he was naked in this cold, her face bloomed a little more.
“Aren’t you cold?” Her voice was curious and mischievous and it showed in her smile.
“Why are you wanting to get me warmer?” His voice echoed the animals need and his face split into a grin wondering how she would handle this reply. She shifted uncomfortably on the boulder and made to get up.
“I was only asking if you were alright. There’s no need to tease me, you know how I feel about you.” Her voice showed her displeasure and she pushed her self up off her seat and made her way back toward the truck. Watching her pick her way over the pebbles he saw her go off course, her foot slipped out from under her and she fell. He was there before she even go the chance to get up.

He could smell her frustration and her anger at him for teasing her, she still needed him, wanted him. Being this close to her he found it hard to not give in, not to just allow the feelings overcome him. As he helped her up she planted her lips directly on his, pulling him closer to her and pressing herself against him. Laughing as she released him from her kiss, she reacted angrily again.
“Stop making fun of me!”
She pounded his chest as he laughed out loud into the cold night air. Bringing her knee up sharply made him draw breath quickly and yet he still held her, chuckling under his breath.
“Damask, I love you.” She stopped struggling and let him hold her. Planting a kiss on her forehead he looked at her face, confused, upset but totally his. “You know I can’t, I don’t love you the same as Marie.” She looked exasperated but hurt too.

“I know but I’m here now and she isn’t. Why not?” He opened his grip a little so she could move.
“Because it wouldn’t be just once would it? We know how we react to each other. Would that be fair to either of us?” Her eyes found his and her pale eyes bored into him with their intensity of emotion.
“No but I need you Logan. I need you.” Her eyes filled with tears and she held him tightly. “I don’t want to be alone anymore, every time I’m alone something bad happens. Don’t leave me alone.”

Breathing in her scent, full of fear and pain he couldn’t have left her alone if he’d tried.
“Lets get the things back inside and we’ll go to bed ok?” Her face held the hope that she’d gotten what she’d wanted. “To sleep Damask. We have a long day ahead.” Holding each other they made their way over to the rock, picked up the bowl, pan, soap, towel and clothes. “It’ll be good to control your powers, having me in bed next to you and not being able to have sex.” She looked at him with a look of incredulity.
“Good for who? At least I can turn my scent down.”
“Yeah but there’ll be others you’ll find just as interesting believe me.” Her face opened up into a smile that shone in the darkness.
“Really, like what for example?” Mischief playing at his lips he answered.
“Well there’s chocolate for a start.”

Laughing as he closed the door on the night, he looked up at the stars. They always watched over him and now he hoped they’d watch over them both as they slept. Who knew what tomorrow would bring? Hopefully a phone that worked, it was time to go home and he was going to phone home for a lift. The roads had become too dangerous to use, it was time to fly.

Introductions
**************
The small gas station at the end of the trail had been like an oasis in the desert. They coasted in on fumes and he pulled the small truck into the back of the place. It was getting dark when they finally packed everything up and had cleaned everything they’d used.
Last night had been hard on them both, Damask had had to control her scent and he’d had to control his hands, not an easy task for either of them but they’d done it. They’d shared a bed without making a sexual advance on each other. It was as if they’d turned a new page that morning, Damask had been more open and had been asking about the school and what she could do there.

He found out about her true age then, by asking the right questions and adding up the years he finally worked out her age, twenty. She was so small and fragile she looked younger but as he knew himself, a bad diet can stifle any child. He’d answered her as best he could about the school and the pupils there, surprising himself about how much he actually noticed about the day to day running of it. He’d told her about the plane and seen her go pale, but she’d smiled when he told her he’d be with her all of the way home.

He made the phone call after they’d finished their last meal in the truck, going outside he’d seen the orange glow of the city ahead of him and took note of the road sign. They’d use that to find him, the Blackbird was good at navigation. They’d found him once, they could do it again.

The phone rang for an age till he heard the voice on the other end, it was Kurt. He sounded tired and stressed.
“Hey Kurt, its Logan.” The silence that met his voice was very disturbing and his senses picked up on something wrong. “What’s happening? What’s happened to Marie?” Kurt spoke eventually.
“Nothing is wrong, it’s just that things have been a little odd of late. The Professor has been talking to her lately. It’s just that since Jean left…” He trailed off and he could feel the small mans tears from his end, he still felt guilty for not being able to save her.
“I need some help Kurt, I’ve found another kid who needs a home. She needs the Prof,” his words surprised himself. “She needs all of us.”

They made quick arrangements and he hung up, if he knew Cyc he’d be here by morning. They decided to wait for their arrival, sitting outside of the truck, the night was warmer down from the mountains and Damask could easily sit without needing a fire but he built one anyway. Just watching the stars and listening to each others thoughts they passed the night away, laughing and joking about what they’d be doing in few hours time.

She fell asleep on his shoulder at around four in the morning and he didn’t wake her when he saw the Blackbird land in the clearing behind the gas station. Ororo had come to collect them, she was looking tired and worn when he met her. She picked up their meagre belongings and carried them to the plane as he carried a sleeping Damask in his arms. Settling her down in a seat, he buckled her in and moved forward to sit with Ororo. For a moment he was back in time, watching Jean drown under the wave of water, looking across to Ororo he noticed her eyes were holding tears. Blinking back his own he reached across to her. “It’s nice to see you Logan, we’ve needed you.” Her eyes said everything for her as she manoeuvred the Blackbird off the ground, he hoped his homecoming would be as welcome as her eyes were.

*******************************************************

The journey was quick, he’d forgotten how fast the Blackbird really was, by mid-morning they were home. Damask was still asleep buckled in when they landed, he could see Xavier was waiting for him. Cyc was nowhere to be seen, he decided to go and speak to Xavier first.

Walking down the ramp he never got used to the sight of Xavier in his wheelchair, that a mind so powerful couldn’t overcome his own bodies disabilities, that he couldn’t fly like Erik had. He knew he had the strength to do it and wondered why he didn’t. Xavier’s eyes sparkled in the autumn sun as he welcomed him back.
“Where did you get to? We were wondering if you were ever coming back, we have missed you, you know.” His face was open, honest and glad to see him but he could see the question forming behind his eyes.

“She’s in the Blackbird, names Damask. She’s been pretty badly used Prof, her gift is bit a poser for us.” Xavier’s eyebrow raised when he heard the word ‘us’ come from his lips. He noticed but carried on anyway. “She has this kind of pheromone that reaches the parts it usually takes a few beers to get at. The male population is going to have a hard time when she’s around.”

Xavier smiled. "But you seem to be unaffected? Is it really that much of a concern?” He looked for a show of humour in Xavier’s words and couldn’t find any, colouring a little and felt the brush of Xavier’s mind over his. He caught his eyes.
“You want to know anything, just ask me.” Annoyed and prickled by the feel of his mind over his he went back inside the plane. Xavier smiled to himself as he gleaned the thoughts of the passenger inside the plane, broadcasting them to the world in her dreams.

“Damask, Damask, it’s time to wake up. We’re here, we’re home.” Her face slowly surfaced from sleep and her body uncurled, stretching her muscles she moved against the seat she’d been sat in and felt the restraints on her. Panicking a little she started to murmur until he spoke. “It’s ok. I’m here Damask. We’re home. You slept through everything, its time to meet the Prof.” Unbuckling her seat he helped her up and out. Her steps uncertain and sleepy she brushed herself down and looked at him.

“Do I look presentable? Am I ok? Will he like me? Do I have to call him anything?” She was starting to panic. Her scent bloomed and flooded the Blackbird, making him shake his head to clear his thoughts. “I’m sorry Logan. I can’t help it, it always happens when I’m nervous.” Regaining his composure he held out his hand for her to hold.
“That’s ok, don’t worry about it. I’m sure everything will fine, it’s not as if he’s choosing a new horse you know.” Her eyes met his and he saw the countless times when she had been chosen like that. A new plaything to be sent back when they got bored of her. Squeezing her hand he spoke “It’s not like that anymore Damask. I’m here and the Prof isn’t going to hurt you, he may look a bit weird but hey don’t we all?” Laughing as they went he guided her out of the plane, her rich perfume moving ahead of them.

They found Xavier at the bottom of the steps, his face turned upward to see them. He heard a small inward breath as Xavier saw Damask, already flushed in the cheeks he must have been concentrating hard as he was not to be overwhelmed by her. Clearing his throat he spoke.
“Damask, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I hope we can help you here. Has Logan told you much about us?” He watched as Xavier’s eye’s never left her small frame, seeing the man struggle with the same thing he had been for the past few days. Regaining his composure he threw a thought to him.

Logan just smiled and repiled through the mental connection, keeping the words away from Damask.


He just looked at Xavier and winked. Clearing his throat Xavier spoke again. “Now would you mind if we went to the infirmary? Just so we can give you a health check, to make sure that everything is working as it should be?” Damask looked at him and her eyes filled with fear and her hands gripped his arm.
“Are you coming?”
Smiling he put his arm around her “Of course, do you think I’d let you wander round here without a chaperone?” Feeling a little more secure her scent dropped down a notch.

Facing Xavier she answered him. “Sure it’ll be fun. I’ve never seen a hospital except on tv.” Her face fell, “That was until I went blind.” Xavier turned to her and looked into her milky white eyes, seeing the patterning on her skin he threw a thought to Logan as they walked to the lift.

He watched Marie as she talked to Damask as she ate, watching her small movements, almost birdlike, as if she felt that she was taking up too much room. Feeling embarrassed for her as he had felt like that when he’d first arrived. Storm had piled her plate high with different foods, a little of everything from the fridge as well as the cupboards.

Totally absorbed by her Marie didn’t notice him come back into the room but Damask did, she lit up when he walked in and he could smell the sweetness in the room that emanated from her. Smiling he went over and helped himself to a piece of chicken from Damasks plate, noticing him for the first time Marie watched as he whispered something to Damask and she nodded.
Logan's eyes met Marie’s and he felt her blush again, the heat rising from her centre and spreading out across her. He always did that to her no matter where they were, all he had to do was glance in her direction and her eyes would be at his. He needed to talk to her before these two got together, alone in a room.

There were a few things he needed to get clear with her and it wasn’t going to be easy. Moving across to her he watched her eyes following his movements and the animal howled its need. Standing next to Marie he could smell her excitement at him being there, so close to her, almost touching her. He broke the silence between them first.
“I understand you've got a lot of stuff to move over to your new room. Shall we get started while Damask finishes with Storm?” Her eyes drifted up slowly to his and he felt as if he’d just asked her to sleep with him, the intensity in them was almost too much for Logan to look at.
Keeping her voice light she answered. “Sure I’d like to get settled in before the news spreads. Although no doubt everyone knows by now if Jubilee has anything to do with it.” She pushed herself off the chair and walked out of the kitchen, he couldn’t help but notice the way she walked. Her hips swung now with a much more adult gait and he had to pull his eyes up off her and walk by the side of her.

“How have you been?” He tried to make the question light hearted but he really did need to know.
“Not too bad, classes have been difficult but that’s expected.” She looked into his face as they walked toward the stairs. He was trying not to look concerned. “I did have a mishap with Bobby though.” His eyes met hers and she almost recoiled from the jealousy she found there.
“What mishap?” A blush bloomed on her cheeks as they climbed to the second floor.
“Well I’ve been trying to control my gift, you know turn it off. I can do it for a while as long as I don’t get distracted. The Professor said it’d take me some time to get it fully under control but he’s pleased with the progress I’ve made.” Her joy didn’t reach him and he turned to face her on the last flight.
“What happened Marie?” His tone was annoyed and he’d called her Marie, letting her know he wanted the answer now not later.

She ignored him and walked down the corridor to her room. Growling softly under his breath he followed her, sensing her discomfort he needed to know what had happened, so he just followed her into the room.
He came face to face with a half naked Jubilee instead. Screams erupted and he was pushed out of the room by Kitty. Listening to the voices inside he waited until they’d calmed down and then he knocked, “Is it safe now? Is everyone dressed?” The vocal chorus he received was in the affirmative and he entered the room. Marie was over in the corner packing up her clothes, her stuff and her books. Jubilee was helping but Kitty just watched the things going into the bags, her mind always open she often spoke what was on it before thinking.

“What’s this Damask like then? Is it true she has a smell that the boys would beat down the door to get at? I can’t see that being much of a problem,” her eyes smiling and her face split with a grin that he worried at.
“Try walking through a Mall like that and you’ll understand quick enough.” His tone was gruff and he felt riled by her lack of thought. She was quick to answer back. “But you’d get all the attention of the guys, the nice, young, *hot*, guys.” Her eyes glazed over as her mind played the images over in her head. He’d burst that bubble.

“Yeah and the old guys, the mall rats, the tramps, the ladies too.” He saw the look of disgust flow across her face as he spoke.
“Eeeewww, ladies? Tramps? Mall Rats!” The true extent of her powers now made clear Kitty changed her mind. “No thanks, she can keep it. How does she cope with it?”
Logan's eyes met Marie’s as he spoke.
“You have to have a strong mind and an even stronger guardian.” He could feel her thoughts raging under the surface of his own, wondering if he’d been strong enough to resist her charms. She wasn’t going to like the answer.

After everything was packed he hefted three of the bags and she carried two. “How come you’ve got so much stuff?” She looked at him as if he’d just said that the sky was orange.
“A young woman needs a lot of clothes,” her voice dropped a note. “Especially me.” Closing the door they walked back the way they had come, the corridors were quiet at this time of evening. Most students were studying or outside enjoying the last of the sunshine before winter took hold. They walked in silence to the teachers wing, finding the door to the room already open and the beds turned down and ready. He watched as her face bloomed as she realised that they both had double beds, big enough for anyone or anything. Choosing the bed nearest the door she put her bags down on it, putting the ones he was carrying down on the floor he closed the door and turned the lock. She turned to face him as she heard the lock snap home.

“Why did you do that?” Logan's eyes hit hers and he saw her flinch, the blush creeping up over her pale skin. He could smell her excitement but also her fear of him and underneath his calm exterior it excited him.
“We need to talk. Now.” He walked toward her and she backed away a little, keeping her distance from him. Not allowing him near her. “What happened with Bobby Marie? What did you do?”

She sat on the bed and wrung her gloved hands. Tears sprung into the corners of her eyes as she lifted her head to look at him. “I didn’t mean to hurt him, we were trying to…” she struggled with the word, with the intimacy of it. He helped her even though he didn't want to think about what she was going to say.

“You wanted to touch him.” Her eyes pierced him as he struck the nerve and he felt the pain in her gaze. Biting down her tears she answered.
“Yeah, I wanted to touch him, not just touch him either.” Her eyes looked for the spark of jealousy they had seen earlier and inwardly she smiled when she saw it rise in his gaze. “Do you know how hard it’s been for me? To want so much and not be able to, not even to kiss someone? Jesus, I’m human. I have needs you know!”

Her voice strained and high. “I’m supposed to be going out on dates at my age, having fun, getting laid!” His eyes still on her he walked over to her, kneeling so his face was closer to hers. So his scent was closer, so his warmth was closer, he heard her breath catch in her throat as she realised how close he was. How near he was, all she had to do was reach out, to concentrate and reach out, to feel his skin under her fingers, to taste his scent on her tongue.

He needed her so much, so badly he thought he’d burst with it. “I love you Marie.” The words stopped her in her tracks, the tears halted and her eyes grew wide. As if this was too much to take in. His hands slid over her back and pulled her toward him, into his heat. His head buried between her breasts, he felt himself stiffen as her nipples came proud of her shirt’s material. “I’ve needed you for so long, I didn’t know if you wanted me. I know I’m not the easiest guy to reach.” Her hands which had been limp by her sides, wound themselves around his back and into his hair. Her touch making him growl softly, his need for her almost becoming unbearable.

Moving his head up to look into her eyes he spoke. “I’ve never thanked you for finding me. I want to thank you, to give you something from me. Just for you, no-one else. Just you.” She could feel his thoughts, smell his hunger and she knew she couldn’t, not now. Her eyes scanned his face and new tears formed. Shaking her head she murmured, “You can’t I’ll hurt you, just like Bobby, just like before.” Pushing him away from her she moved over the bed and showed her back to him. Her voice full of tears reached him.

“When you left, I never expected you back. I knew you were going for good, you did too didn’t you?”
“Yeah I knew.” Voice low and soft, this was going to hurt, “I saw you watching me.”
“But you didn’t stop did you? You just got on the bike and left, leaving me here with Bobby.”
“Where you were safe.”

She turned on him then, her eyes sparking with anger.
“Safe? Here, after what had happened? Did you know we all slept huddled together for weeks after that? That Kitty almost got herself stuck in a wall? That Jubilee couldn’t sleep knowing you weren’t here to protect us?” Her look made him feel like a dog. “Where we were *safe*? We were safe wherever you were, till you left.” She turned her back on him and he got up off his knees and sat on that edge of the bed.

“I had to go.”
“No you didn’t, you just wanted to get back to how you were.” She stumbled over the words. “Before you met me.”

The knife went deep and he felt the blade of it twist, cutting right to the core of him. He had to respond, she thought he had run away from her, that it was her fault.
“Marie it wasn’t you I ran away from, it was me.” He heard her turn over, felt the pressure on the bed as she moved. “I didn’t want to feel again, to feel the loss of someone I’d loved.” Her felt her thoughts move. “Not Jean. You.”

Her silence made him fill it. “I knew I’d never love Jean the way I love you. I touched you and like it or not you’re inside my head now. I can feel you there if I concentrate hard enough. I started out by just caring for you, to get you somewhere you could be at home, with others who could care for you. But you’d already got in by then, where I couldn’t forget you. Seeing you with Bobby made me happy because I thought you were happy. I didn’t want to get in the way, to mess things up.” He turned round, tears were falling on the bed, staining the cover. Her eyes downcast he touched her hair and she looked up into him.

“I love you Logan, I always have. You said you’d protect me and then you left me alone, here where I was supposed to be safe, where the bullet holes have just been repaired in the kitchen. Where the bodies of dead soldiers were carried out, killed by *you* protecting us. I had no-one else to turn to, so I turned to Bobby and I nearly killed him.” He pulled her toward him and they laid side by side, her head on his shoulder as she told him what had happened.

******************************************************

She had planned everything, she had a sheer body stocking that covered her everywhere, including her hands, it had cost a pretty penny too but it was worth it. They were going to be together at last, to feel each other, to be normal, to do what normal nineteen year olds did. Bobby had been fielding off offers all summer from various girls, he wanted her. The girl with the dangerous skin. She’d been practising her control with Jubilee and Kitty, she could control herself for at least five minutes now. It would be the best five minutes they’d ever have, well at least for now. Both Jubilee and Kitty were in on the plan and they helped to get Bobby up to their room.

Blindfolded he’d been led inside and then that was her cue to do what she’d wanted to, to touch, to feel, to kiss. He’d run his hands over her and he knew what was going on, he could feel the small layer of fabric between them and it didn’t matter to him. He just had her. They were together at last, alone, not looked over like children.

She told him how it had gone wrong, there was a hole, such a small hole that it didn’t seem to matter at the time. His hands had run over her skin, sending her senses reeling, stoking the fires she kept banked too long. She needed so much, to be touched, stroked, held, loved. His hands had barely stopped moving when she noticed something was wrong, his breathing had become shallow and she could feel him in her mind. Frightened she’d pushed herself away from him and then she’d seen it, the tear, the small tear in her stocking. Bobby had been dressed in his summer shorts, his legs had been gripping hers, one pressed against her. Trying to help her find the release she needed.

He couldn’t help but remember the night he’d spent with Damask where he had done the same. She had been so close, so near to releasing all her frustration when she’d almost killed him. He’d spent two weeks in the infirmary, after that she’d refused to see him. The damage had been done, she’d never let him touch her again. When he’d come round he’d seemed distant and almost afraid of her, as if she would hurt him just by looking at her.

But the worst had been the thoughts she’d picked up, he was doing it out of pity, not love for her but pity. That she was so alone, so needy that he thought he was helping her, letting her be normal just for a moment. She hated herself for that, for being a image of pity for someone, a half-person because she couldn’t touch someone, couldn’t hold someone without a barrier between them. She hated herself for that and Bobby had pointed it out to her with his pity.

Seeing her pour out all the bitterness she’d been holding in from everyone made his heart ache, he should have been there for her. Watched more closely than he had, it was obvious now he thought about it, Bobby had always defended her from others taunts but not with the passion of a lover. With the voice of a friend, he’d talked to her and she’d responded, taking what she’d needed and not questioning what he really meant.

He stroked her hair and turned his face to hers. “D’you feel better now?” She nodded. “You hate me?” Her eyes cleared and she looked at him with the eyes of a woman, not a child.
“No. I don’t hate you.”
“Good.” He bent his head toward hers and kissed her lips lightly, just brushing his lips against hers, sending shudders through her. “I’m back and I’m not going anywhere, not without you.” He saw her hunger there, laying just beneath the surface and he ached for it. “Keep practicing Marie, give me those five minutes,” he moved even closer to her and she saw his own animal hunger for her in there. “You know I won’t disappoint you, you won’t kill me. I’ve touched you twice and survived, I’m willing to try for a third. Are you?” Her head bent toward his, so close that he could taste her breath.
“Yes.”

As his lips brushed hers for a second time he heard the door handle rattle, springing up and off the bed he made it across the room in a heartbeat and unlocked the door. The handle turned and Ororo and Damask walked into the room. Ororo looked over to Marie and saw the flush at her cheeks, seeing the tears still glistening in her eyes she walked over to the other vacant bed. “This one will be yours Damask, I’m sure Logan has got Rogue settled in by the looks of things.” Turning she caught his eye and saw the annoyance shine out at her. “It’s getting late and we should let you settle down for the night. If you need anything I’ll be next door.” She turned to him. “I think we should leave them to get acquainted now don’t you think?” This wasn’t a question, it was an order.

Walking over to Damask he held her and whispered his thanks for the time she’d given them both to talk. He could feel Marie’s eyes boring into his back, turning he walked over to her and held her close to him. “I’m not going to leave you. I love you. Don’t be hard on her Marie, just hear her out. Promise me?” She was confused by his words, why was he asking her to be kind, then he saw the realisation cross her face and her warm eyes grew cold and distant to him. She stiffened in his grip and he released her, looking at the two of them in the room he hoped that they’d both be alive in the morning. But judging by the look on Marie’s face he might not be. As he walked out of the room he heard Marie ask the question he’d been dreading. “So where did he find you?”

********************************************************

He was sat in Xavier’s office waiting for him, Ororo had told him that he’d wanted to see him about Damask. He’d been there for around ten minutes when the door opened and he wheeled himself in. “Ah Logan, sorry to keep you waiting. Scott was just filling me in about your little conversation earlier.” His eyebrow raised at the mention of Scott. “Oh there’s no need to worry Logan I believe you did the correct thing there. Scott has been very distant lately and he needed a ‘push’ back into reality.”

The smile that covered Xavier’s face could almost have been impish. “But we do have a slight problem with Damask. We can’t leave the room untended, especially with both Rogue and Damask inside. I was going to ask you if you’d mind sitting outside for a few nights. I’ve been scanning the general thoughts of the school and there’s more than a little curiosity about her. Especially from some of the older students.”

His eyes twinkled as he remembered his own first meeting of her as she descended from the Blackbird. “I can’t say even I’m immune from her charms but you seem to have come to terms with them. I don’t know how you did it but at the moment you’re the only one trustworthy enough to stand guard.” He gave him a sly look, “It won’t hurt your credibility with the student body either. So will you do it?” He didn’t give it much thought but he took his time in answering.

“Of course, if you think it’s the correct course of action. You know I don’t sleep much anyway. A few days without won’t kill me. As long as I can nap in the daytime.” Xavier seemed to make up his mind and moved around to the front of the desk.

“Have you eaten yet Logan? I don’t recall seeing you eat anything earlier and if you're going to be doing guard duty we don’t want you wandering away from your post do we?” Xavier had something to ask him but he didn’t want to ask him in the stuffy atmosphere of his office. Kitchens were the best places for talking, they seemed to be able to get to the heart of things quicker.

As he made them both a cold plate of meat and pickles, he could feel Xavier watching him, trying to discern the right question to ask first. He decided to help.
“What do you want to know? I know when you’re thinking, I can hear it.” He turned with the plate away from the large fridge and sat at the low table across from Xavier. Looking at the man’s open face he always found it hard to look deeply into his eyes, as if he could read what was written inside his skull. Which he could but didn’t out of respect for all living creatures, everyone needs a piece of privacy somewhere.


“How did you come across her? What has happened to you in the month’s you’ve been gone?” He moved closer to the table and picked up a small piece of meat. “Things have been hard here, ever since the attack some of the pupils haven’t felt safe since you left.” His eyes met his as he folded a piece of beef.
“Yeah Cyc told me.” As had Marie, feeling the knife slip a little deeper as Xavier told him of the work he’d had to do every night for a month. Calming each mind enough to allow it to rest, including Ororo and Scott. Under the light in the kitchen he could see how much it had drained him, how much he actually relied on the chair now. Jean’s death had affected them all much more than they were willing to admit to, including him. She had been his best pupil, his hope for the future of the school. Now she was gone and he had to start all over again.

Pushing the beef into his mouth he realised how hungry he actually was, the mouthful was quickly followed by another. Chewing the mouthful he thought about how to answer the question, if he left something out Xavier would spot it. He decided on honesty.
“Well for the first month I just drove around, doing odd jobs here and there. Not really sure where I was then, found myself drifting north again and ended up in the logging town where I found Damask.” He spared him the boring details of the fights, the bar sessions and the moments of pure hatred he’d felt for himself. Meeting his gaze Xavier knew there was more to his journey but he wasn’t ready to share it yet.

He’d done things he wasn’t ready to face up to, killed for the feel of it, hired himself out for the night, selling himself like a cheap whore. Anything but feel, feel the pain of leaving Marie, losing Jean to the water, to feel part of something that actually wanted him. Until he was straight with Marie he couldn’t tell Xavier everything, she came first.

Xavier sighed heavily as he ate the remainder of the plate, looking up at him he noticed the strain etched across his features. “How are you holding together?” Xavier’s grey eyes seemed to sparkle in the light.
“Oh not too bad Logan, I’ve lost too many friends not to be used to the pain of separation. I know that we’ll all meet again someday, it’s all just a matter of timing.” He scanned Xavier’s expression looking for a way in, a chink in the armour he’d erected to keep himself composed in front of the school.

He was still a stranger to them all and the one person he could reveal himself to, like he had with Jean. He got up to leave and go on guard duty, the wall clock read 11.10pm. Most of the kids would be in bed by now, only little Jones in the tv room would be awake. As he left the kitchen he was called back, “If you ever feel like actually answering that question Logan, I’ll be here.” Looking into his smiling eyes and knowing that he’d get him eventually, get him to open up and share the pain that was still hiding he answered. “Yeah and you’d better make it a good Malt too. It’s the only thing that loosens this tongue.”

Gently laughing he walked the corridors to the teachers wing. He could hear Ororo pacing her room, her steps light and fast. Bringing his head closer to the wood he smelled another scent in there, a sharp smell mixed with sulphur. Smiling he walked on, so Kurt had shown his hand at last. They made a good match, he wondered what their kids would be like?
Pushing the thought from his mind he seated himself in the picture window opposite their door, hidden enough to watch but not to be seen watching. His thoughts ran wild about what was being said behind that door, what was being admitted to, what he’d have to pay for tomorrow. But that was tomorrow, not tonight and he had a job to do.

******************************************************

It was two in the morning when he heard the patter of footsteps, creeping up the corridor. Slowly he shifted his weight so he could see down the corridor, two young men by the looks of things. Smiling he slowly unsheathed his claws and laid his hand over his resting knee, when they were outside the door he coughed. Both of them jumped, lighting his cigar he made sure they saw his expression, his eyes burning into them. Keeping the memory of their faces for later.

“What you doin’ here boys? It’s a bit late for a walk don’t you think?” They both paled as they saw his claws we out, “Now you may not know this but I’ve been asked to sleep out here till Damask and Rogue have got their powers under control.” His eyes burned into theirs. “And you know how much I like my sleep. If I keep getting disturbed I kind of get cranky.”
Cracking his knuckles and moving the blades in between them. “Like the night we had the raid, they woke me up.” He let the information settle on their already frightened minds. “Like I said, *cranky*.”

Moving himself into a comfortable position, he looked at them both. He could smell the fear radiating from them and the animal loved it. Pushing himself off the window seat he moved toward them both, that was enough, they bolted. Not even looking behind them they ran pale faced down the corridor and didn’t stop for the stairs. Smiling he made himself comfortable in the window seat and waited for dawn.

The smell of fresh coffee was coming up the corridor and his senses woke him to find the centre of the smell, to get some into himself. Blinking at the morning light he saw Ororo walking down the corridor with a small tray, the smell emanating from it. She looked relaxed this morning, happy even, he wondered if she knew Kurt had tattoo’s all over him by now?
Seeing the twinkle in her eye he guessed she did. Noticing Logan was awake she made her way down to him and put the tray next to his side. Coffee, bacon, eggs, ham and toast, quite a big meal. Without asking he just picked up the bacon and stuffed it in, feeling it crunch under his teeth. Growling as he ate he looked at Ororo, her hair was still messy and her calm exterior had slipped a little as she watched him devour the plate.

“If I’d known you’d be so hungry I’d have brought two.” Her smile sparkling at the corners of her eyes, he could smell Kurt mixed with her own musky scent.
“Yeah well, I’m always hungry in the morning, usually done something to earn it in the night.” His comment hit home and she flushed a little, a smile playing with her lips.
“I have no idea what you mean Logan but it’s early and I’ve got to get ready for class. So when you’ve finished please take the tray back to the kitchen.” Picking up a slice of toast she wandered back to her own room, when the door opened he caught the scent of Kurt, a relaxed Kurt at that. Smiling to himself he finished off the breakfast on the tray, he was just draining the cup when the door opened.

Freezing the movement his eyes were glued on the door, it was Damask. She looked out and smiled as she saw him, what must he look like? He felt like a hare caught in the headlights of truck, he knew they’d talked but what about he didn’t know. She waved him closer, like a small child sharing a secret. Placing the cup carefully down on the tray he walked toward her. Her scent was light and airy this morning as if sleeping in a bed had changed her tone completely. Her skin even looked a little pink this morning, showing up her patterns. He bent close to her, taking in her scent and feeling himself rise to the aroma. She noticed and smiled, he could tell as she brought her control to bear on it and it remained like a scent of summer on the air.

“We talked,” her voice was quiet and small as she spoke. “I told her that you’d wanted to tell her some thing’s yourself and that I’d tried to delay Storm as long as I could. We’re going to talk more later. Where will you be at lunchtime?”
“I have no idea, why?”
She looked around and up the corridor checking to see if anyone was around. “Try to be near the pool. I’m having a lesson after math. Rogue’s going to teach me how to swim.”
He could see light beginning to come from her, after so much darkness she was finally beginning to bloom. “Anyhow I can hear her moving around so we’ll see you later yeah?” Then he was looking at the door, still as bewildered as he had been the night before. He just hoped the rest of the day would turn out better.

******************************************************

Lunch saw him fixing some doorframes that had been damaged by a fight last night. Colossus had broken it up, including the door frame. He remembered his courage the night of the raid, facing the soldiers he’d been able to save most of the kids and lead them out of the school into the grounds, where they’d all hidden until they’d returned for them. He liked Colossus, quiet, thoughtful and very strong, both in mind and body. There was a lot there for others to follow, looking at the doorframe he hoped that not too many followed his punches though. Planing the frame he’d just fitted he tried the door’s fit, it sat snugly in it’s new home and he smiled at a job well done.

Looking out of the window he saw Rogue dressed in her all-in-one costume sat at the pool’s edge with Damask dressed in her spare. From here they looked like twins, almost the same body shape, same height, same weight (although he had to reappraise that when he saw Rogue stand up, she had filled out nicely). Pulling his eyes away from the pool he looked over to the grass field and saw Bobby watching them both. Maybe he ought to get down there, just to be on the safe side. Picking up his tools he walked down the stairs and as he passed the last dorm on his left, two familiar smells reached his nose. His two creepers. Growling loudly as he passed their door, he heard their conversation halt mid sentence. He smiled inwardly, enjoying the feeling it gave him, he was going to enjoy this duty, even if it meant giving up a whole year of sleep.

The autumn sun was bright and the last of the warm winds were turning the trees scarlet, he watched them for a moment, his eyes seeing them dancing, moving and settling in the breeze. Taking a deep breath of the sweet scent he caught an undernote on it. Oil, light oil, taking another breath and tasting it, he narrowed it further.

Gun oil.

Dropping his tools he scanned the field, nothing unusual, just the kids sitting, playing Frisbee, talking and reading as they always did. The trees covered most of the edges of the grounds and the wind entered the courtyard from many different spots. Concentrating he walked out slowly into the field, his steps slow and easy, scenting the air with every step. The breeze brought more of it and he turned toward it, eyes scanning the tree line just outside the grounds, his eyes caught the glint of sunlight on metal. Following the sight line it pointed toward the school building, toward Xavier’s office.

Sprinting away toward the wall he heard the air split near by and a small tuft of grass blossomed in front of him. This was personal now. Running past Bobby he shouted, “Get them inside, we got a sniper! Move it you little asshole!” Anger replaced rational thought as he ran toward the shooter, unsheathing his claws as he reached the wall. Sinking them into the old brick work, he could hear the screams behind him and the almost breathless sound of the gun above him. Adrenalin flooded his system, couldn’t they just leave them alone? Whoever was up there was going to pay if they hit anyone, he was back and no-one would hurt them ever again. Not while he was alive and as others had found out, he was hard to kill.

Climbing to the top of the wall he launched himself into the tree, he saw the cradle of the sniper gently swinging but he’d long gone. Slicing the cradle down he pulled it toward him, food packs fell out as he moved it. This guy had been here for days. Holding it tightly in his grip he flung himself back over the wall and landed on the field. Still furious he walked toward the group who where running toward him, Cyc was there, so was Colossus shining in the sun, his metal skin reflecting the red of the leaves around him. As he reached them he pushed the cradle into Colossus chest, “Check the perimeter, if there’s one there’s bound to be others.”

His eyes speared Scott. “When was the last time you did a check?” His anger just barely under the surface. Scott avoided the question, his mouth opened and shut ineffectually making him seem like a fish in one of Xavier’s ponds. “Just go and check on the Prof, they were after him. I’ll check on the kids.” Colossus had taken a group of young men and they were checking all the trees around the walls, he could talk to him later about getting these men organised into patrols. It seemed like the madness he’d seen out there had reached here at last. He needed to check on the kids, two in particular.

****************************************************

As he reached the pool area he could see a small knot of kids gathered round, pushing his way through them he saw Damask giving Marie the kiss of life. When she saw him she almost collapsed with relief. “Thank god someone with some sense, get me a stretcher, she’s been shot!” His nose picked up the scent of blood all around, looking into the water he could see the pink tinge against the blue of the pool tile. Checking her suit over he found the wound, it was in her upper arm. The bullet had gone straight through, a lucky break. He watched as Damask sent off a child to the infirmary, turning back to Logan she shouted at him.

“Well don’t just stand there do something!” Snapping out of his thoughts he snarled at the gathered kids to get inside and go to their rooms. Picking Marie up he could feel her heart beating again and colour was beginning to return to her. Looking at Damask as she kept up with him, he had to ask her.
“Do you feel odd? Strange?” Confused she lifted her eyes from Marie and looked at him.
“Why?”

The realisation hit her as he asked the question and he saw it cross her face. “Oh god I touched her didn’t I? She didn’t hurt me.” Her violet eyes were wide as they got inside the building. “Oh god Logan I can touch her!” The stretcher bearer was coming toward them and Logan ignored him, preferring to carry her down to the infirmary. Looking at her pale face screwed up in pain he would make someone suffer for this. Almost instinctually his claws fired and the medic backed away, opening the lift door for them to go down. Damask held Marie’s hand as they went in, her eyes opened at the touch, looking up at Logan she smiled thinking it was his hand that held hers.

When she looked down and saw Damask’s hand holding hers, her eyes widened and he could smell her confusion. “I know, who says miracles can’t happen? I didn’t even think about it I just pulled you out and started on you.” Damasks voice was almost apologetic. “Seems my days of watching E.R. actually paid off.” Marie felt the small hand in hers and squeezed it for all she was worth, almost turning the knuckles white.
“I don’t care how, I’m just glad you can.” Tears flowed, mixing with the chlorine smell that rose from both of them, inside he wished it had been his hand she was holding onto. He could feel the bond beginning to form between them and the wall he was building to keep them both out.

***************************************************

Retracting his claws as the doors opened he put Marie on the table in the medical centre, his eyes betrayed how he felt and Marie lifted her hand to touch him. But she couldn’t, she knew if she touched him she’d take more from him than just a touch. She’d hurt him and she didn’t want that. Damask was there at her side, holding her hand, stroking the back of it with her small fingers, knowing how sensitive her skin was he knew she was trying to help her. To let her feel something that wasn’t pain.
The medic started to cut the arm from the swimsuit to get at the wound, he watched her face as she showed her annoyance.

Logan had been with her the day she’d bought them, it hadn’t been easy to find something that wasn’t neoprene or rubber. Now she was losing one. Sensing her displeasure Damask spoke. “Well at least one of us will have our arms free the next time we try swimming.” She was trying to take her mind away from the pain and the situation, something he couldn’t do. He looked at her as she was tended to and began to push himself away when Xavier called him.


Seeing that he wasn’t needed here he turned to the door and went out. If he’d looked he’d have seen Marie’s tears fall as she watched him leave her yet again.

*****************************************************

The mixture of emotions left him feeling like a sailor at sea in a typhoon. The quiet stillness of the school seemed unnatural, which it was. The outside world had intruded yet again and brought pain to the ones he loved, he needed to kill the thing that had done it. Not hurt, not fight but *kill*. Going into a run he hoped to burn off some of the anger he felt inside but all it did was get him to the garage a little faster than he’d been expected. Coming through the doors he’d seen the man dressed in green talking to Xavier and he lost all cohesive thought. Claws extended he flew at the man who had brought so much pain and fear to his home.

Logan never reached him, Colossus met him half way across the room and took him down to the floor. Using his weight he pinned his arms to his sides while he raged in an attempt to get at his target. He heard Xavier in his head, calming the animal that raged in there, soothing his mind until he was able to gain control of himself. Blinking out of his rage he looked into the red eyes of Colossus, “Thanks for that. Are you going to let me up now?”
The quiet voiced young man answered. “As long as your not gonna hit me for diving on you.” A quirky smile showing on his face.
“Just let me up and we’ll see,” as he released him he reminded himself that if they ever came to blows to be behind the big man, away from those arms.

Now he was calmer he took a good look at the man they had seated on the floor of the garage. A small man, light, agile by the looks of him, his scent was clean, no stink of drugs or chemicals. What he was doing was what he’d wanted to do, or had been ordered to do. Looking at the range of kit they’d spread out on the floor, he had been prepared for a long wait. The rifle was propped against the station wagon they used for the grocery shopping. A piece of pure artwork, light, made from composite materials, this was no gun shop special. This was military.

His gaze dropped on Xavier who was quietly searching the young mans head, watching as his face showed all the emotions that he found in there. After a few minutes he came back to them and his face was serious and set.
“Gentlemen it seems we have a problem in Washington.” He turned to Scott and asked him to ready the jet. Turning to Colossus he spoke “Peiter I want you to accompany us, Logan I want you here.” He felt his face turn crimson and his blood began to boil. He was about to argue when Xavier explained.

“The children feel safer when you're around, they know you can keep them safe. *I* want you here. Secure the grounds and make sure that no-one leaves the school until the grounds are safe.” Looking at the young man at their feet smiling as if he was sat at the beach, he spoke. “I need you here. If they come back I need someone who won’t hesitate,” his eyes found Xavier’s. “No matter who or what they are.” An unwritten statement passes between them at that moment.
It read, do whatever you feel necessary to ensure their safety, if it means killing someone, then do it out of their sight but do it.

Straightening up and calming himself he prodded the young sniper with his boot. “What about laughing boy here?” Smiling Xavier looked up into his eyes, the cold he found there almost sent him reeling.
“We’re going to visit his commander and we’re taking him with us.” The depth of his feeling showed for a second and it worried him, he was human after all, had the same feelings as they all did. He just controlled them better. Before he left the garage he turned back “We’ll have that talk when you get back, I’ll buy.” Seeing the relief written in his eyes as he knew he understood his role here now. What he wanted him to do, what they all needed him to do. He’d get started right after he knew they were all settled.

******************************************************

Half and hour later he had all of them in the tv room, sprawled on the large sofa’s on chairs, on the floor, some on the walls, others gently floating mid-air. They’d all seen the jet leave with the Professor and the mood of the room was almost tangible. They were afraid. He walked in accompanied by Ororo and Kurt, all eyes turned to him and several young men lowered their gaze as he looked around the room. Smiling to himself as he realised that news travels fast in a place like this, he shouldn’t have much trouble for now. Clearing his throat he began.
“Right, for those of you who don’t know me I’m Logan, I’ve been left in charge of you until the Prof gets back so there’s going to be some new rules for a while.” He could smell the change in the crowd, fear, anticipation, shock.

Smiling he carried on. “There’s going to be patrols from now on, those of you who are on your last year of education here are going to help out. You're going to be on rotation and Storm here has the sheets.” He watched as she passed them out to the group of students, faces fell, some smiled, others just sat resigned to their new duties. “These will be a regular thing from now on. The world outside has changed their views on us but we haven’t on them. You won’t hit first, if you find anything, you call for the rest of the patrol. You don’t act alone, you never walk a patrol on your own either. If one of you needs to go to the bathroom you do it outside.”

A mixed chorus of ‘Oh my god he’s joking isn’t he?’ and ‘Eeewww’, the talking rose and he decided to make his point clear. Unsheathing his claws loudly he slammed the rota on the wooden panelled wall, pinning it there for everyone to see. The noise sent out a bubble of quiet that quelled all the arguments and talking. He could feel their eyes looking at the weaponry on display and he decided to finish what he needed to say now he had their attention again.

“I will expect *everyone* to help out, as of now the classes of the term are over until we get our security problem sorted out. Any arguments?” The room was silent, all eyes watching the claws.

“If you are on this rota for tonight stay behind, if not get into your dorms and either Kurt or Storm will be visiting you soon.” The kids just sat there watching the claws as they stuck in the wall, retracting them from the paper stuck to the wall he turned to look at them all.
“Are you unclear on what I want you to do?” His gaze travelled over the gathered faces, some afraid of him, others challenging, some happy that he was around. “Well get moving.” The children dispersed quickly, some to their dorms, others to the games room to pick up stuff to do.

The first patrol group went out at 8pm, following his instructions to the letter. Never more than ten feet apart from each other, each group of three walked and watched the tree line, the sky and the field. He’d been out already and checked the grounds earlier, even the forest area around the back of the school. Nothing but it wouldn’t do the kids any harm for them to be watchful, the world had changed again and he wondered how many would come out the other side whole. His mind flew to Marie and her injury, he’d been so wrapped up with everything he’d forgotten about her. Shame building in his head he headed off to the infirmary.

*******************************************************

He opened the door to find both of them asleep, curled up to one another on the bed, Damask wrapped around Marie. Her hand on her bare arm, resting there as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Walking toward them both he felt his heart pull, he was being excluded here but he needed to see that they were both safe. Sighing heavily he turned to go, closing his eyes for a second he could feel her thoughts and was surprised when he found himself in them.

Standing still he concentrated on her thoughts, her mind within his and he could see their patterns. She was thinking about him, that he was behind her, holding her, touching her, keeping her safe. Opening his eyes he heard the medic coming and he left them asleep, giving them the only comfort he could at the moment. He had work to do and he’d die first before he failed in its execution.

Xavier had gotten back from Washington at 10pm, he’d been in the garden checking out the pool when he’d heard the summons.
He’d taken a quick scan of the darkening tree line and walked to the back door. He found Xavier seated at the kitchen table, with a decent bottle of Malt Whiskey in front of him. His face looked tight and drawn, things hadn’t gone too well in Washington. Sitting down across from Xavier, he watched as he opened the bottle and poured two glasses with the heady amber liquid, pushing one across to him picking the crystal glass up, smelling the richness that flowed from the contents.

“So how did it go?” The question hung in the air as he watched Xavier struggle for the right way to explain his fears.
“Not well. It’s what I feared would happen. For years we’ve been a thorn in the side of various anti-mutant groups. But the F.O.H seems to be the one that has the most support in Washington right now.”
“F.O.H?”
“Fellowship Of Humans. Originally they were a group promoting segregation of mutants, to protect themselves against harm from powerful mutants like Magneto. But they turned into a group with a lot of underground support, especially from the far right and our friend Senator Kelly before his death. The sniper that we had here was a supporter of theirs, an apparent single ‘bad apple’, when we approached his commander he was under the impression that the man had gone for training. He knew nothing about the attack or the gun we showed him.”

He let the importance of what he’d found out sink in. Whatever or whoever had planned the attack on the school had been waiting for the right opportunity to attack. Him coming back could have triggered the movement of time, he was known to the military and his record with their soldiers wasn’t a good one. His mind replayed the night of the raid, the faces painted in green and black, their scent of barely restrained fear and adrenaline. The weapons they’d used against the kids. He’d come back and they’d tried again, he wondered if he’d done the right thing by coming back, maybe he should have stayed away. Xavier caught his train of thought as it passed his face.

“You did the right thing Logan, we need you here. I’d hate to think of what would have happened if you hadn’t been here. It’d be me in the infirmary dressed in a black bag and no one to keep the children safe. Scott is a good leader but he doesn’t have all my talents for getting the truth from people.” Smiling as he took a sip from the crystal in his hand. “We now know we have a problem and we know which direction to look at, if anything you’ve helped us to clarify things. They see you as a threat Logan, something dangerous and after our last encounter with soldiers I doubt they’ll try another frontal assault. No I believe they’ll try other ways, more subtle than an attack and this is where Scott and I come in. Its time to ‘press some flesh’ as they say. So we’ll be away from time to time, calming the fears of senators and politicians in Washington. Maybe even visiting the president from time to time.” A smile crept over his wan face, repeating what they had done before, just after Jean had died. He’d told them he’d be watching and he would be, but he’d be watching from here, where he could do the most good.

“So what do you want me to do?” Watching the amber liquid swirl in the glass as he turned it, allowing it to warm with the heat from his hands.
“What you do best Logan, be here. Show the pupils that you’re here, teach them to trust themselves, their gifts, their abilities and their instincts.” Xavier sighed heavily.
“While I can teach them how to live in the world around them and give them the knowledge they lack from being outside of the school system, I can’t give them the knowledge you possess. We need you here Logan, you can teach them so much more than I can.” His eyes bored into his saying what he couldn’t say with his mind, that he’d teach them how to survive, how to kill if need be. “They need these lessons more than you think, even Scott could do with some more ‘advanced’ training. Storm and Kurt too, the younger members of the team as well.”

At this his ears pricked up and he met Xavier’s gaze.
“Younger members?”
“Yes, Bobby for one, Peiter for another; we have a couple of young teams going through their training. But it isn’t enough Logan, they lack the edge they need. They stop short of their goal or go too far beyond it. Teaching the students control over their powers takes up a lot of time and willpower on their behalf and ours, its just when they get into situations where they have to use them they can go wrong.” He found himself nodding in agreement with him, he wouldn’t like to be on the wrong end of Peiter when he let go of all that frustration and anger he keeps bottled up inside.

”We need you Logan and your welcome to stay here whether or not you decide to help the students. I know that I’ll sleep better knowing you’re here.” The statement surprised him, his eyes widening as he drained the glass in front of him. Xavier needed him around, he understood the need of the kids and of Marie but Xavier? The man just smiled and began to wheel himself away from the kitchen table, “Now I hope you don’t mind Logan but it’s been a long day and I need some sleep. It’s not everyday you find out about your own murder, so if you don’t mind?”

“No, I’ll be going upstairs soon myself, get a shower and then on duty.” Just before he left the kitchen Xavier stopped and looked at him.
“You know she loves you don’t you?” He wondered which woman he was talking about, the pale one or the dark. “She’s been practising her control for six months, waiting for you to come back. She knew you were coming home before we did, if I didn’t know any better I’d say she was psychic.”

Leaving him with the bottle, he wheeled himself out of the room, “You can keep the malt, it’s the same age as Rogue, nearly 20. Hope you enjoy it.” He left Logan with a curious feeling he’d just been given the go ahead from a father to date his daughter, smiling he raised the bottle and read the label. Twenty-year old Malt Whiskey was pricey, he just hoped the other vintage tasted as good.

Screwing the top back on the bottle he opened the fridge picked out a plate of leftovers and carried them upstairs. Leaving the whiskey on the table for later, he made his way up to his duty. Listening to the quiet of the halls as he walked through them, feeling at home here in its wooden panelled expanse. Settling himself down in his window seat he waited for the dawn to arrive as he ate the leftovers from dinner. A good whiskey takes time to make and he’d wait another twenty if he had to for her to be ready for him, as long as she knew he loved her and he wasn’t going to leave without her.

*****************************************************

They must have walked up here when he was talking to Xavier because he could hear their steady breath. Listening to them behind the door he wondered if she was thinking of him, closing his eyes he settled his mind and reached out for the piece of her in his mind. She was there, wrapped around a pillow, arm bandaged up safe in the knowledge that he was just outside her door. Opening his eyes he looked down the hall, to his own room. Maybe he’d get her in there one day, this time they’d be awake and it wouldn’t be a painful memory.

***********************************************

He’d been on guard duty for almost a month when he picked up the scent of something behind the door. Moving out of his seat he moved silently to the door, placing his hand on the wood he closed his eyes and allowed his senses to show him what was happening behind the door. Opening his mind to Marie’s thoughts, allowing them to mingle with his.

He’d been practising over the weeks, watching as Damask and Marie grew closer, watching as they touched each other, held gloved hands even. Damask had taken to wearing them, to help Marie feel more normal. They laughed and spoke as if they were sisters, separated at birth. He didn’t let them see him watching them, Damask had caught him once and the look of guilt that slid into her gaze had frozen his heart. She had told Marie everything, even about their moment together and what it had meant. He’d smelt her nerves at being found out, at being confronted about it so he’d just walked away from the pair of them.

It wasn’t as if he didn’t have other things to do, the school’s security had been a mess and he’d had to re-organise everything. The look in Xavier’s eyes had been haunted as if he’d known that the end was in sight and that he could’ve been wrong and Erik had been right.
They had a talk Xavier and him, spending the small hours talking about his journey and the dreams of the past few years. Xavier had shared part of something with him, things were going to change for the better, soon. He just didn’t know where they would stand in it all that’s why he needed him to be here, to show stability to the kids. To be strong with them, to stand and fight if need be.

That’s when he’d dropped the bombshell on him, he wanted him to start training the kids how to fight, not just defend themselves but kill. He’d stared deep into Xavier when he’d said that and he saw nothing but practicality there. “Scott’s not going to like this, not sure about Ororo either.” His reply had shocked him even more.

“It doesn’t matter what they like Logan, I’m trying to save lives by planning now. I’m not sure what the future holds for us but I want the children to be able to fight back if we ever get stuck in the same situation as last time.” He could see the scars on his mind about that incident, somewhere he still blamed himself for not being there, not seeing it being planned. His mind had still not been sharp enough to see the planning going on in circles he was part of.

A decision had been made and he would spend half of the week in Washington until things were sorted out there to a satisfactory conclusion for all. This meant that he had more responsibility than ever. He’d wanted to run away from it at first, to get away and only think of himself. But Jean hadn’t allowed those thoughts, whenever he’d felt like giving in she’d appear in his mind. Outside the jet, holding back the water, looking up at him telling him to survive, to live, to take care of those she’d loved. He couldn’t say no to that memory, he’d stick it out no matter how hard it became.

*****************************************************

He’d walked in on a discussion earlier that day, it was Marie’s birthday soon, just before thanksgiving. Most of the girls were talking about what they were going to buy her. He never took much notice of the parties that were held at the school, there was always one or another happening. But he’d try to remember this one, he’d even thought about going to the town for something but he didn’t know what to get her. He’d seen the list of presents that had been pinned up on the dorm wall, now that she never came down there it was a safe place to plan.

Jubilee had caught him looking at it. “What are you going to get her?” He’d turned, embarrassed at being caught which had made his tone a little bit gruff.
“Why? Think I’ll clash with what your buyin?” She’d looked hurt almost immediately and he felt awful. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I’ve no idea what to get her.” His eyes had locked with hers. “That’s if she actually wants anything from me at all.” Jubilee had laughed then, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
“Well you could give her one thing she’d be pleased with.” He looked at her waiting for the rest of the idea. “You don’t know do you?” Her face showing surprise she carried on. “You’re in for a surprise Wolverine, although I’m not the one who’s going to spoil it. She’d kill me.” Then she’d walked away leaving him feeling confused and old.

Here they were just a week away from her birthday, the Prof and Cyc away at another hand pressing dinner, trying to influence the human population by being friendly. They were making headway but slowly, very slowly. He’d watched tv for as long as he could, taught his classes on basic wilderness survival (the woods at the rear of the school were perfect for their lessons), watched the first evening patrol go round and felt as if he wasn’t needed anymore. Even Kurt had found a job to do, teaching gymnastics and spatial geography. He was making Ororo smile and that was worth having a blue demon around the school, no matter how many times he had to hide when the politicians came round.

Now he was here, outside their door trying to see what was causing all the scents in the room to explode outwards. His nose picked up Damask’s scent, musky and alive, excited even. His memory reached back and showed him where he’d smelled the same scent. His eyes snapped open as he remembered and his hand shot away from the door as if it had been heated in a furnace. He knew what was happening and he wished with all his soul that he could be on the other side of the door. Sitting with his back to the surface he leaned his head back and listened.

Sheets moved, springs creaked, small whispers were spoken of which he only caught snatches of, which didn’t make much sense. But if they were doing what he could smell them doing, words don’t make sense, only feelings do.
Closing his eyes he felt for her mind, for Marie. She erupted onto him, thoughts and images flashed through in a tumble, everything, quick and fast. He grasped out at one as it passed from her into his mind, it was her riding him, hair flowing and him pushing harder into her making her arch her smooth back. Then it was gone, replaced by another and another, all about him, all about them together, doing what they’d both wanted for an age. He felt himself harden as he watched the flow of images get stronger, more vivid, more real. Felt himself move in time with their flow, his strong back pushing against the door making it creak in its frame, realising that it wasn’t locked.

The door wasn’t locked, he opened his eyes and the flow ceased but the feelings didn’t. He could open the door and walk in, be with them, share what he needed with them. They knew he was out here, they knew he could smell an apple in a basket of oranges but still they’d left the door unlocked. They’d always locked it for safety, other peoples not theirs. But it was open, now.

His hand reached for the doorknob, his need almost tangible in the air. Then he heard it through the door, the sharp breath, the release she had sought for so long. Growling deep in his throat he could smell her, the animal rose and wanted to go in, to take her, to fill her with himself, to feel the heat of her wrapped around him, tasting her, devouring her. He slammed his claws into the doorframe, puncturing the wood, easing the animals pressure to take, to rend, to devour. Pushing himself away from the ruined frame he ran down the corridor, not noticing Kurt as he teleported to see what the noise was. All he could do was run, away from the thoughts, away from the feelings, away from the ones who loved him.

*******************************************************

Sat with a bottle of whiskey he flicked through the channels on the tv, wishing that Xavier hadn’t blocked the cable channels he needed right now. Taking another drink he focussed on the screen and not on the footsteps that were approaching the sofa. He didn’t even turn as Marie sat down next to him, he could smell Damask on her still, he could smell her heat too and he growled uncomfortably. “Logan,” her voice was almost pleading in tone and he turned to face her. She had been crying, all thoughts of his own pain and frustration with her left him.

“What, what’s wrong?” She moved closer to him and lifted his arm and snuggled underneath. He felt himself stiffen again at her touch, even through cloth. “Are you okay? Marie what is it?” She held him and her voice was muffled by his shirt.
“Why didn’t you come in?”

He let the words settle in his mind, so that was it. Lifting her head he looked into her face and saw how much he had hurt her by running away, by being a man and not an animal.
“Why?” His eyes told her of his need to know, why like that, why with Damask?
“It was our idea, she can touch me in the ways I want you to. She showed me how you touched her.” Her face bloomed as she remembered the feeling and he could sense a rise in her scent. “It was easy to see you and not her. I wanted you to see, to feel me, even if we can’t yet.”

The word ‘yet’ gave the animal the cue it needed, turning her into him he pulled her into his heat. She could feel him there, hard against her thigh, his eyes alight with need, his voice deepened by it.
“Is this how you want me?” He pulled her face closer to him using her hair, making her squeak with pain. His eyes fired as he heard it, the animal rising in him, gaining ground. “Do you really want me like this? To just take, to not care about you, what you want, what you need?” She was so close now, he could feel each beat of her heart.
“Yes.”

Growling he let her go, flung himself up and out of the sofa, angry at her answer, at himself.
“What did I do wrong?” He could hear her tears falling, hating himself for not being able to explain. That he was more than an animal, that he was a man, who needed someone to treat him as one, not just a creature.

He wanted her, needed her but not like that, not like an animal. When he turned around she was curled up in a ball, legs tucked under her, protecting herself. He crouched in front of her, eyes glazed and focussed on the tv, trying to ignore him and the huge mistake she’d made. Even though it wasn’t her fault, she felt that it was.
“Marie,” she moved away from his gaze and tried to ignore him. He wasn’t going to allow it, she wasn’t a child anymore. He grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the sofa. “Come on, your coming with me.”

He would show her who he was, not what he’d been made into. Taking her back to her room he opened the door to find Damask waiting for them. “Are you mad at me?” She looked unsure at him.
“No I’m not mad at you. Annoyed yes, the rest of the school would know if I was mad.” He pushed Marie into her bathroom. “Get dressed, were going out.” He shot a look to Damask which said everything. “I’ll be back in second. Dress warm, its cold outside. Damask lock the door after we leave.”

He went down the hall to Ororo and Kurt’s room and knocked lightly on the door, there was a smell of sulphur and Kurt was next to him. Dressed in his nightclothes Kurt looked like a Greek myth. His tail wound lazily as he looked at him, “Yes Logan?” His voice wasn’t sleepy and his eyes burned brightly, it looked like Damask had reached their room too.
“I’m going to check on the kids doing the survival night, so I’ll be out for a bit. Just wanted to give you a head’s up.” Kurt looked at his eyes and saw the anger smouldering there and decided not to push it.
“Of course, we’ll keep our ears open for the corridor.” He knew Kurt sensed he was lying but he didn’t want to explain where he was going or what he was doing. As he left Kurt spoke “Have fun.” He let the comment slide over him and heard the rush of air as Kurt teleported back to his room.

He found Marie dressed in her jeans and thick jumper, she was putting on her boots as he walked in. Damask was sat by the side of her, holding her fleece jacket, whispering to her. As Logan approached Damask stopped and moved out of his reach, Logan's eyes followed her, showing the hurt that played there. As if he would raise his hand to her. She got into her bed and watched both of them, with barely disguised jealousy. She needed him still, wanted him too, he decided to talk to her later.

Turning to Marie he saw she was ready, “Come on we’ve got a bit of a walk and we have to get past our own patrols too.” He looked over to Damask, “Lock the door Damask, I’ll be back later.” Her face lit up as he spoke, he definitely needed to talk to her but talking was the last thing on her mind right now. He’d have to change that later.

They moved quickly and quietly through the school, avoiding the patrols that roved around the grounds. They made their way up into the woods behind the school, the autumn leaves were piled high. Frost picking out the veins on each one, he could see every tree, every log, everything. Marie was having trouble, stumbling over things, not being comfortable out here, in the wild. After an hour of walking he stopped, the small camp site was just ahead, where he did his lessons, where he taught others to survive out here. Sharing who he was with them, what he had learned as a man, not as an animal. He turned and saw her breathless and tired. “Come on it’s just up the rise, it’s not far now.” Pushing herself off the log she’d been sat on she followed him the last few yards.

The site was small, enough to teach a handful of students at a time. This time of year it was empty, the winter class hadn’t started yet and wouldn’t until the first snowfall. A small pup tent was always left up, along with rations and fresh water just in case. He went straight to it and checked on everything, satisfied it was ok he started to make a fire. Marie just collapsed in front of the tent and watched him.

After the fire was ready he sat down across from her, the small light making her stand out against the darkness around her. Shivering in the cold air she put her gloved hands out toward the small fire. Catching his eye she spoke. “So what now?”
“That’s up to you. We can talk or we can have sex, your choice.” At the mention of sex her cheeks burned.
“What out here? In the cold?”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with that? It’s how animals do it, you wanted the animal, you're getting it. Just say the word and we’ll get on with it.” He could see her face and the hurt that ran across it.

“What, just like that? You can do that?” He moved over to her side of the fire, sitting next to her, so she could smell him, feel his warmth.
“Yes I can, but I don’t want to. Not unless you want me to. You asked for the animal side of me and here it is. No bed, no sheets, just the woods, me, you and anyway possible. That’s the truth Marie, that’s the animal. Not *me*.” His eyes making the point for him. He wasn’t an animal, he was a man, he may have the urges of an animal but he *needed* like a man. Animals don’t care who they have sex with, as long as it’s a mate, it’s just another chance to have babies. He cares about who he’s with, it’s more than just a need to be filled. Her hand touched his face, tears found themselves in her eyes.

“I’m sorry Logan, I just need you so much. I want to touch you, to hold you, to feel you against me. I never meant to hurt you. *We* never meant to hurt you.” Blinking she looked away. “Damask loves you, you know. She needs you almost as much as I do.” He could see her question in there, did he love her too? Did he want Damask? Was what she said true, had he made love to her and spoken her name not Damask’s?

“I love her but not in the same way as I do you. I care for her but I won’t be her lover and that hurts her. She needs a protector and she thinks I can do it. I helped her get away from where she was, she helped me to get back to where I was needed. I can’t help her anymore, she needs to help herself.” Putting her arm through his she moved closer to him, drawing from his warmth. He felt relief flood him, as he realised that she didn’t want him. That she would wait a little while longer. “How’s the practise going?”

She moved away a little so she could see him better. Smiling she answered. “You’ll have to wait and see. Are you coming to my party? Ororo is organising it, we’re having a small dance in the dining room.” He knew the dining room was used for the guests that occasionally came to the school and needed impressing with the solidity of the work going on at the school. Wood panelled, parquet floor, chandelier and large paintings on the walls, he wouldn’t miss it for the world.
“Yeah I’ll be there.” She squeezed him when he answered.
“Great, you do have a suit don’t you? Ororo thinks it should be black tie seeing as it’s my twenty first.”

He stiffened as he realised what she meant. Him, in a suit? His memory searched for a time when he had ever worn one and came up blank. She felt his confusion and bluster and looked at him. “You don’t do you? Have you ever worn a suit? Ever been to a prom?” He could feel a blush rising up from his boots, she was really pushing buttons here. He’d always been what you’d call a ‘comfortable dresser’, otherwise if it fitted and was warm he’d wear it.

He tried to hide his discomfort. “Well I’ve never had the opportunity to wear one, it’s not exactly something I’ve had to get. Not a lot of social functions in the circles I travelled in, especially black tie.” He caught her smile and decided to push it. “Could you see the guys in Laughlin City holding a spring dance? Or a prom for the caribou?” Laughter broke through the tension and tears as they both enjoyed the moment of peace and tranquillity in the night. They stayed at the fire talking until the false dawn showed itself, deciding it was time to go back and try to get some sleep.

***************************************************

They walked back hand in hand, closer than they’d ever thought possible. Sharing thoughts as they walked, seeing each others mind and how it worked, playing with memories.

Marie showed him the ‘turkey incident’, last year Ororo had been planning a huge celebration for the pupils who’d stayed behind. All the trimmings and turkey were ready, sat in the huge refrigerator and he’d eaten it. She showed him her memory of seeing him, sat there with a leg in his hand and two empty bottles of beer sat next to him. He almost choked when he saw what he’d looked like, a huge hairy creature perched precariously on a stool. He turned to her, “Did I really look like that?” Through tears of laughter she nodded. “No wonder Ororo hides stuff from me, I looked like a damn bear!”

They could see lights on in the kitchen when they got back and they headed straight for it. They found Ororo making breakfast for the last night patrol, she looked up in their direction as they walked in. “Good morning, it’s nice to know that someone else gets up early. Been for a walk?” Her eyes met Logan's with a straight stare and he knew she wanted to know what had been going on.
“Yeah I took Marie to see the new camp site, she’ll be doing the winter course this coming semester. I wanted to make sure she knew what she was getting herself into.” He cocked his head to one side as he answered. “Ororo, do I look like a bear to you?” She turned and looked at him, her face puzzled by his words until Marie explained through fits of laughter.
“No, just a damn hungry man who didn’t ask first.” Smiling she put down plates with bacon, egg and toast. “If you want anything else you’ll have to make it yourself. I have my own breakfast waiting upstairs.” As she left he called after her.
“Yeah I know, nights can make you hungry. Especially next door to those two.” He saw her stop mid step for a second and then carry on. He’d hit home and he wondered what her smile was like as she walked back to her room.

******************************************************

The rest of the week passed quickly. The only event of the whole week was when Damask came down to help out with the decorations in the dining room. Her small frame was almost lost within the pressing bodies of young men, that was until Peiter walked up. His large frame pushed through the knot of young hotheads and gently moved her away from their attentions. Damask’s eyes were huge when she finally got a good look at him and she mumbled her thanks and ran off the where he and Ororo were discussing the holiday arrangements.

As she approached Logan could smell her excitement and nerves, even Ororo could sense her. Damasks violet eyes were wide as she spoke. “Who is that?” He looked over to where she’d just come from and watched as Peiter put up a swag without having to get a chair. Ororo answered her, “That’s Peiter or Colossus as he likes to be called. He’s from Russia.” He watched as she went through several different emotions all at once, wonder, excitement, guilt. She bit her pale lips and bent Ororo closer to her. “Is he coming to the dance?” Ororo smiled, “Yes I think so, why are you going to ask him to come with you?” Damask’s eyes flashed a quick look at Logan, as if seeking permission.
“I’d like to, that is if you don’t mind Logan?” Her voice trembled with uncertainty, her nerves were showing and she needed to gain confidence in her own self without him to help her.

“Sure if you want to Damask, I don’t mind. I’ll probably be busy all night anyway.” Smiling she went over to the knot of young girls who were working on the streamers. A few seconds later Jubilee went across, grabbed Peiter and dragged him bodily over to their group. He’d never seen Colossus so afraid before as he was just then, he’d faced armed soldiers but they were nothing compared to a group of scheming young women. Chuckling to himself he turned back to Ororo. She was watching his face, studying it. He stepped back a little, “What?” She smiled and shook her head.
“I swear Logan, you get more civilised every day.” He growled under his breath.
“Yeah, well as long as I don’t get *too* civilised.” A crooked smile playing on his lips. “So are we sorted out with security details for tonight?” Ororo nodded.
“Yes we have two teams doing the rounds tonight, one indoor, one outdoor.” He smiled at the plan, it would give him chance to nip between both groups and check on how they were doing with the weather. The first snow had fallen earlier in the week and it had promised more tonight.

“Have you got your suit ready yet?” Her words snapped him back to the here and now.
“What?”
“Your suit for tonight?” Her voice almost condescending in tone. “You have remembered to get one haven’t you?” His short growl spoke for him.
“Oh Logan, you are coming aren’t you?” Ororo looked genuinely upset at his lack of thought and planning.

He avoided her piercing gaze and spoke to the floor.
“I’ve never worn a suit.” His eyes met hers and she could see the embarrassment that shone in them, burning like fire. Her heart softening she put her arm through his and she walked him away from the bustling activity of the room. As they passed Jubilee and Damask’s group she smiled.
“You know what that means don’t you?” He looked at her face trying to find a hint of humour at his expense and finding none. “That this is your party too. Your first time in a suit, your own little prom night.” He could see the humour sparkle in her eyes and it pulled on a nerve. Stopping just outside the room he looked back inside and then turned to Ororo.

“You ever tell them,” he nodded back into the room of young adults. “And I’ll tie a knot in Blue Boy’s tail.” Smiling she pulled him along the corridor.
“Okay Logan but you do know he has more than one don’t you?” The comment stopped him dead in his tracks, his face almost completely red. She turned and almost laughed out loud. “Good grief Logan, you look like you’ve been boiled. What did you think we were doing, I’m not a nun you know.” For a second he saw her as she really was, a sexual woman, all curves and smooth skin, not a teacher, a lover. The sight almost robbed him of his voice. Seeing him struggling she pulled him along the corridor. “Let’s go see if Scott has a suit you can borrow, that is if one will fit you.”

Her eyes locked on his and he felt like a small rabbit about to be pounced on by an eagle. Kurt was a brave man, the look in those eyes any man would have trouble with. But he’d been taking risks all of his life, up on the high wire of the circus. He hoped that that would be enough to take on this powerhouse in front of him. She appraised his size as they walked, “Yes, I think Scott may have a suit that’ll fit you. It’s dark blue.” Her eyes met his, “It’ll show off your eyes too.” Feeling even more uncomfortable he allowed himself to be led to Scott’s room.

*****************************************************

It had taken five attempts to find a suit that fitted in all the right places, either the trousers were too tight, the jacket too long, the arms were too thin. He’d felt like a tailors dummy at the end of it. Although the suit that Ororo had picked out for him really did set off what nature had given him.

The cut of the shoulders was perfect, the jacket tapered beautifully into the waist, framing his broad back. The shirt was rough silk and off white, not too showy and a good fit if he kept his movements graceful. If he moved too quickly or sharply it’d tear along the shoulder. Ororo had helped him with the bow tie, smoothing down the bow afterward she’d nodded in approval and pointed him to a mirror.
What he saw was someone else, a different Logan. A grown up Logan, standing there in his bare feet he felt so vulnerable, so alone. Ororo came up behind him and put her hand on his shoulder.

He tried to smile but his eyes gave him away. “Do you think I’ll pass muster?” She handed him something small and white. Opening the items he smiled.
“With those you will.” He held the white evening gloves in his hands and turned them over, they even had three ridges sewn into the white calf leather. “She asked me to give them to you, so she wouldn’t hurt you.”

Tears pricked his eyes and his gaze found Ororo, smiling she touched his face and left him alone with his gift. Holding them to his face he could smell her on them still, taking a look at himself in the mirror, he put them on. Pulling them tight until they were like a second skin, flexing the fingers and touching his skin he found that they enhanced his sensitivity. Smiling he turned to the mirror, winked and walked out of the room.

He’d been trying to get the damn tie right for an hour, he’d already seen Scott and Xavier pass his room going down to the dining room. Frustrated he tried again and ended up with it almost across his shoulder. A growl erupted and he threw the tie at the open door, it was caught by Kurt.

His expression was one of concern. “Is everything alright Logan?” He felt like snapping a quick answer but seeing the depth of concern on Kurt's face he kept it down and just shook his head.
“It’s that damn thing!” He pointed at the tie in his grasp. “No matter how hard I try I just can’t get it right.” Kurt walked in a little further, his voice hesitant.
“I can help you, if you want me too?” He looked as if Logan would spear him for talking to him. Blowing off steam he nodded. Kurt approached and stood him in front of the mirror and brought the tie round his neck. With a few deft moves the tie was done, smoothed down and looking fine. Smiling Kurt moved away toward the door. Before he left he stopped him.

“Kurt?” His amber eyes caught his
“Yes Logan?”
“Do you love her?” The question wasn’t wasted on him and his tail moved slowly from side to side as he thought about his answer.
“Yes I do, as much as I love god for bringing her to me. She reaches the me that I want to be, helps me to get to it everyday. Or at least to try.” His hands played with the small crucifix that hung from his waistcoat. “Yes Logan I love her. I’d die before I hurt her.” He scanned his face as if looking for the reason why he’d asked him.

Smiling Logan spoke, “I’m glad you found each other Kurt, in this world finding one person who loves you as you are is hard. If you’re like us it’s even harder.” Kurt could see the loneliness and hurt in his face, felt the burden on his bones and in his heart.
“Are you ready to go down now?” Kurt held the door open with his tail. Smiling as he got up and walked over to him.
“Ororo sent you didn’t she?” Kurt just smiled and opened the door wider. “Damn those women.” As he passed out into the corridor Kurt answered.
“Ah, but without them, life would be damnation would it not?” Smiling into his face and feeling the laughter wash over him, relaxing his muscles and easing the tension inside himself.

************************************************

When they reached the dining room he had to wait a moment, the doors were wide open and he could see the groups of young women and men dancing, talking and having fun. He almost bolted when he noticed Jubilee and Kitty walking toward him, he ducked inside the room looking for Marie. Pulling on his gloves he walked slowly around the outside of the room, searching for her. He’d almost done a full circuit when he met up with Scott and Xavier, they both did a double take when they saw him. Straightening his back he met their respective gazes full on, Scott was smiling and he waited for his comment.

“Nice suit Logan. Where ‘did’ you hire it from?” The sarcasm was evident. Logan was going to enjoy this.
“Nice place, very exclusive. Only tailored for those who can afford it. Want to see the label?” He opened his jacket and flashed the inside, Scott’s eyes looked at the inside and he realised exactly where it had come from. “Well, you had so many and Ororo thought you wouldn’t mind, seeing as it’s a special occasion and all.” He watched as his mouth opened and closed like a fish. Xavier was trying not to laugh at the cheek of it all.

Logan could scent Scott getting wound up and he was just itching for him to say something when the crowd went quiet. Everyone turned to the doors and there she was.
Stood in the doorway, dressed in a royal blue silk evening dress, long gloves, wrap and a very nervous smile. Logan was stunned, he could feel all the men in here take a breath as they realised what she had become.

The dress she wore hugged all the right places and accentuated her already blossoming figure. Xavier coughed lightly and Logan took the hint, pushing through the still crowd he walked over to her. As he approached he saw her eyes widen and her pupils dilate as he approached, a freshly washed scent of her wafted to him, telling him how nervous she really was. Holding out a gloved hand she took it and they both entered the room arm in arm. His attention was all on her, her face, her hair, her dress, everything. Losing himself in what she had become when he wasn’t looking, the scraggly teenager into this beauty by his side.

They walked over to Xavier and Scott, Logan pushed out his chest a little more, setting his shoulders back. This was his moment as much as it was hers, Xavier knew how much he felt for her. They’d discussed how it should be handled, she was young but she needed him too. Over the past few months Marie had been practising her control with Xavier and Logan didn’t doubt that Xavier knew the real reason why it had been so important to her.

Smiling he looked Scott in the eye and saw the pain of Jean’s loss still there, it knocked a bit of his pride out of him and he offered Scott her arm. A look of understanding passed between them, she was his, the dog tag around her wrist said that but he wouldn’t stop him from dancing with her. Xavier and Logan watched them go into the crowd and dance, eyes followed their movements and hearts were broken that night.

Xavier broke the silence first.
“She’s beautiful isn’t she?” He looked down at him and saw nothing but the enjoyment of others dancing and having fun.
“Yeah, she is.”
“It’s strange how quickly they grow up, it seems only yesterday that she was a child. Nowhere to go and no-one to care for her.” He looked up at Logan. “Then you found her and we brought you both here.”

Xavier paused for a moment. “Do you ever wonder where you’d have been without meeting her, or us for that matter?” Puzzled he turned into his calm gaze.
“No I don’t suppose I ever have. I’ve just lived each day at a time.” Like an animal, was the thought that finished his speech.
“I have Logan, and without you both we’d all be dead by now.” He looked at Xavier with a mix of surprise and astonishment on his face. “It’s true, just think how often you’ve saved our lives, the children’s and my own. Without you we wouldn’t be here.” He looked out into the party swirling around them. “Ororo wouldn’t have Kurt, Damask would still be a slave, I’d be dead or a vegetable doing Styrker’s bidding, Scott would be too. But most of all Marie might have died in Laughlin City.” His head snapped round to see Marie dancing past with Kurt, laughing and joking, her eyes meeting his and her joy at seeing him plain in her steady gaze.

“What do you mean Prof? How do you know? She could have found someone else to hitch with.”
“True but then Erik would have found her all the easier and used her in his plan. Killing the rest of us with the backlash that would have come from it. I have thought about this for a long time Logan, maybe fate sent you in each others way on purpose. A bit like Ororo and Kurt.” Xavier smiled as he watched Peiter and Damask move across the floor, both of them unsure of the steps and just going with the general flow of the dancers.

“Just like them, we dance in time to fate, hoping we get the steps right as we go. We don’t know until the music is over whether or not we got them right or wrong.” He watched the floor as the music wound down.
“I just hope I can keep up with the music.”
“Oh I don’t know Logan, you seem to be doing alright.” A quirky smile played at the edges of his lips. “I think it’s time for her presents or Jubilee is going to explode.” Wheeling himself over to the table laden down with presents Xavier called out for attention and the room went quiet. He made a small speech about how far Marie had come in the few years that she had been there and he watched her blush as each person spoke. He kept to the side of the room, just watching, allowing her to feel the centre of attention, to feel special, to feel normal.

******************************************************

It took an hour for her to open all of them, he’d moved outside to the cool air of the night. Feeling the cold settling on him like a jacket, remembering the last time he’d been out in the snow with her. Remembering the fight he’d had on his hands, trying to keep Sabretooth away from her and onto him. Ready to defend her with his life if need be. His breath fogging as he played back the memory of him coming back and seeing her in Bobby’s arms. The hurt he’d felt and suppressed because she was happy, she’d found someone else who’d cared for her, loved her but it wasn’t what she’d thought and he’d been away again when that had happened.

Turning round he watched the bright lights dancing around in the room, each one a new life, a new start made possible by Xavier and the school. The brightest of them all, Marie, looking happy but there was something on her mind. He relaxed and let her mind flow into his. She was looking for him, getting worried because she couldn’t see him anywhere, wondering if he had left already. He gently sent a warmth out to her, reassuring her that he was still around. She caught it and stopped dancing, her eyes met his and she smiled. Waving him over he left the cold snow and returned to the warmth of the school. She stood there, defiant in her gown her gloved hands held out to him.

Hesitatingly he took her hands and she began to move to the music. He stayed still, he looked at her with pleading eyes and she stopped moving. “What’s wrong?” Her voice moved over him like warm honey, sending shudders down his spine and waking the animal beneath.
“I can’t dance.”
She showed a little bit of surprise but then she rallied and they moved off the floor and sat together on a window seat. Just being close to her made him feel alive, the touch of their hands, the feel of her dress on his skin. He could feel his need for her rising, but he wouldn’t rush her, this was her day, her night to shine. She could feel him, his need in her mind and she caught his thought and sent it back to him.
“Do you?” She smiled and nodded, her eyes calm but her pulse racing, her scent blooming as she rose from the seat. “We can’t use my room, it’s already occupied.” Understanding her meaning he had a quick look for Damask and Peiter, they were missing. He hoped he had a good constitution, he’d need it.

Smiling he walked Marie out of the party, the next gift to her was his and he’d been waiting a long time to give it to her. It was going to be perfect, as perfect as it can be when you can’t touch the one you love.

******************************************************

As they walked down the quiet corridors, he shared his dreams of her, his thoughts, his need for her. He could feel as she received them, her own mind open to his visions of her, of what he wanted to do to her. She stopped at the foot of the stairs, her scent suddenly uncertain. He scanned her face for doubt and found some there, lodged in her eyes. Pulling himself up on the same step he moved closer to her, letting her feel his tension, his need. Hoping that she’d understand that he’d been patient so long and that he needed her, now. Eyes burning into her, lips gently brushing hers, sending a wave of pleasure through her that he could visibly watch as it passed over her. She did want him but how much she wasn’t sure, there was the doubt.

Breathing faster he took her hand and led her up the stairs, almost running. Her dress caught on the stair and he picked her up, easily coping with the extra weight. Her hand feeling the smooth expanse of his back, listening to the silk as it tore when he shifted her into a better position to carry. He made the stairs in record time. Positioning her to open his door he looked deep into her. “You sure this is what you want?” Her face was flushed and her pupils were wide, she nodded her approval, too wound even to speak.

He put her down inside the room and turned to lock the door, inside he couldn’t believe that this was happening now. All the long waiting and hoping was over, he had her at last and now he wondered if he could do it. Looking at her stood there in his room, like a bright flower in a foxhole. Impossible but alive, beautiful but deadly, he needed her more than he did anything else. He had done since Liberty Island, when he’d almost lost her.

He watched as she undid her hair, watching it fall across her skin, her wrap now on the bed. The white picked out by the blue of her dress. So beautiful that he thought she would break if he touched her, shatter into a thousand pieces like the dream she was. Turning toward him she moved closer, her hands deftly undoing his jacket and sliding themselves beneath the fabric. Her gloves slid over the silk, making him growl with pleasure at the feel of the material across his skin. The pressure of her fingers on his back, curling into claws as she dragged them deep into his flesh. The animal rose and he welcomed it’s release, bending his lips to hers he kissed her. The charge from her was electric, her heat, her need was enormous and he almost drowned in the tide of feelings coming from her. Still connected he gripped her tightly to him and she could feel him rise, trying to force his way free and into her.

Feeling him against her she pushed into him further, grinding her hips against him, setting the nerve endings on fire. Pulling away from their kiss her eyes found his and he saw all doubt gone, all resistance fallen and lost. Shrugging out of his jacket he tore the ruined shirt away, allowing her hands access to his skin. Picking her up he wrapped her legs around his waist and walked to the wall, supporting her with one arm as his own gloved hand ran up her bare thigh watching as she moaned with the feel of his hand running up the soft pale skin there.

Her legs gripped his waist tightly, the muscle there tight and strong, the silk keeping a barrier between their skin. Her hand reached underneath her and she found his belt, her fingers clumsy as she tried to rush, tried to force the moment. He held her hand steady and he helped her to undo it, slowly. Their breath heavy and the room still, making each movement last, making each piece of sensory information imprint itself fully. The slide of the zipper as it fell, the feel of her silk lined hands as she helped him free. Sliding her hand down the hard shaft, stroking it until he felt it would break. Leaning her back against the wall, he freed his hand and she heard the ‘snick’ as his claws slid out, gently sliding his hand under the dress, finding the side of her underwear he cut it away.

Repeating the exercise on the other side she felt the air brush against her, making her gasp, feeling the heat from him rise into her. Pressing herself against his skin, he felt his stomach warm with her heat, could smell her readiness for him. Felt her slide across his skin as she pushed herself back against the wall, forcing him to move closer, to be inside her. His eyes met hers as he moved her into position, her sex warm against his skin. He didn’t need to ask her, the hunger inside her gaze spoke for her. He knew it might hurt her, she’d never allowed anyone this close, ever.
He’d be her first and he wanted to remember it, every moment, every touch, every breath, every scent, all of it.

She moved the last piece of silk between them, now they could touch, now it became dangerous, just how he liked it. He brought himself up slowly, watching her face as she felt his head touch her lips and slide smoothly past, her sides as smooth as the silk had been. Feeling the heat from her wash over his nerves, making him want to force himself home. Keeping his back taught and controlled he pushed past and deep into her. Watched as her eyes widened with shock and a little pain but then the pleasure overrode everything. Forgetting about being unable to touch she slid herself down onto him, moving her hips downwards to meet his upward movement until they were locked together.

*****************************************************

Their minds mixed and he felt her rush into his mind, showing him everything of her, the time she’d crept into his room and lifted the covers to just look at him sleeping naked. The need she’d felt to just touch him, to stroke his skin but afraid she’d wake him. Her watching him dig the pond that day and wondering if he felt the same way about her as she did, if she’d ever get the chance to make love to him. Wondering what his claws would feel like against her naked skin. Watching as she wandered around his mind, finding his own secrets. Seeing him make love to Damask but thinking about her, her hair, her face, her smell and the change in him when he’d known what he’d been running away from and why.

He shared his memories of seeing her on his claws and wanting to make it all better, to make all of it go away and then she’d touched him. Filling him with her, with her need for him, to be there, to love her and the joy he’d felt at finding it there. He’d always been hers, since she’d found him. She’d rescued him, gave him purpose, given him life. He’d chosen to wander alone until he’d died, Alkali Lake had done that to him. She’d given him hope, just by being there, a light in the darkness to guide him home.

He felt her warmth as she held the memory tight in her mind, her hips already moving up, rocking him inside her. Sending fire down his nerve endings, the animal howling to be released, to take, to fuck. Lifting her onto him he pulled away from the wall, letting gravity pull her closer. Watching her skin flush as he filled her completely, her tight muscle gripping him, tying him in place. Locked together he moved over to the bed, sat down and leaned back on his elbows. Resting her knees on the bed she could move and she put her hands on his hard stomach, pushing herself back and forwards on him. Not knowing how she knew what she wanted, just doing it, letting her instincts guide her movements. Her eyes glazed with the feel of him, the completeness it gave, the depths it reached and the wounds it healed, inside.

Pushing up with his hips meeting each move, feeling her excitement rise with thrust forward. Her scent filling him, he wanted to take her, to fuck her, to be an animal with her, to show her all of him. But he couldn’t, not yet, this was hers. She needed him, needed this, to touch, to love, to feel, to know he loved her and would never hurt her.

******************************************************

Watching as she moved faster and faster, burning the memory of her into his mind, having to steady her with his gloved hands. Gently manipulating her so she ground against the skin on his stomach, sending waves of pleasure through her as she stimulated herself. Her breath was coming in great gulps now and he could feel the beginnings of his own building, feeling it rise within him as her muscles contracted against him. Her fingers gripped his flesh tightly, digging themselves deep into him, almost gouging. Sending the animal inside him crazy. Watching as the scent of her exploded out from her body, her fingers curled, hurting him, as the wave hit her. Her mind exploding, showing him everything, all of her, at once.

He could see her first kiss, her first moment of terror when the boy had almost died. Her near misses with the truck drivers she’d hitched with, the disaster with Bobby and the nights of tears. The touch of Damask against her skin and her joy at feeling someone actually touch her without being afraid. He saw all of it, his own face saying that he’d take care of her and understanding how much that had kept her together. How much she had needed someone to talk to her, to want her around, to care for her. Someone who was strong enough not to be afraid of her, someone like him.

Her eyes were screwed shut, barely breathing, her face red and her hair loose and plastered to her skin. Still riding the emotions, the barrage of feeling that radiated from her insides. Pushing hard into her he watched as her eyes snapped open and met his. She still needed, wanted, desired and clenched herself against him making him wince with her strength. He moved, she was slick and as hot as a furnace, nipples standing proud of the silk dress he rubbed his gloved fingers over them gently. Watching as each pass made her moan and writhe on him, exciting the animal further.

He’d had enough of gloves, he wanted to feel her under the silk, under the thin barrier that kept him alive. Taking off the white kidskin he freed his fingers, flexing them on her body, running his hands over her as he rocked her gently forwards with one hand. Scooping her up and onto him he turned her onto the bed, laying her underneath him. Hooking her heels on the wooden base of the bed she positioned herself, he’d only partly slid out of her with all the movement. His naked hand touched her thigh, seeing her eyes widen again as she realised what he was doing. Her mouth open, about to speak when his hips lunged down, sending him deep into her, silencing her. His eyes staring into her, almost boring into her soul as he moved.

Hands snaked under the dress, holding her hips raised to meet each stroke, her own hands wrapped around his back. Trying to find purchase on him, trying to grip him but her gloves wouldn’t allow her. He felt her frustration. “Take em off,” his voice deep, growling almost. His eyes alive and full of fire, “I want to feel you touch me, feel your claws in my back.”

Not obeying wasn’t an option. Stripping the long gloves off her arms she touched him, they both waited for the sensation to start, the draining and mingling of thought but it never came. Her fingers gripped his skin and dug in with each new stroke, her grip spurring him, the animal rising and she felt it there, wanting to be harder, rougher. Wanting to bite, to tear, to just fuck, just for the pleasure it gave. Meeting his gaze again she whispered ‘show me’. The animal reared and tried to force its way, but he slowed, didn’t allow it’s reign. Not now, not tonight, no matter how much she wanted him too, no matter how much he wanted to. He knew the animal would want to hurt her, make it painful. She wasn’t ready for that.

Shaking his head he looked at her and she knew there was no chance of winning tonight. Speeding his own movements up, he took her mind away and brought her back to now. Pushing his hands into the soft mattress either side of her shoulders, his fingers digging into the softness under them. She moved her hands under his, locking her fingers with his, feeling the strength of his grip as he dove deep inside her.

Concentrating on his own reactions, trying to slow the feelings already rising inside him, trying to reverse the flow, to make it last. Feeling himself unconsciously speed up, bringing her hips close so each stroke counted, feeling her heat burn his skin as they touched. Her eyes half closed, lost in the rhythm, her body half lifted with his strength, resting on her shoulders, hair scattered across the bed. Taking everything in, every detail, every moment. Feeling as the fluids moved, making his movements harder, stronger. Watching her lips mouth his name, needing her to shout, to speak.

Almost there, he lifted her bodily off the bed. Standing with her legs wrapped around him and her eyes wide open as she saw how close he was. Putting her hands on his back and raking him, feeling the skin tear as her nails dug in. Feeling him pull her harder and harder into himself, as if he was pushing up and through her. Her own face red and her pupils dilated, she was coming again and this time he’d be with her.

As the first waves hit, their eyes locked onto each other, both of them felt the rush as he came inside her, feeling like molten metal running inside her body. Pleasurable but so very hot, almost scalding the soft flesh around it. Crying out as he filled her, he knew he’d be heard but he didn’t care, nothing mattered but this, this moment, this piece of time they had together. Their moment, their bond, their love. He heard her breathe his name as he came, bonding them, tying them together.

Holding her tight against him as the last of the fire ebbed away, leaving them both tired and happy. Her head resting on his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his back, feeling the cuts heal, tracing them with her fingers. He didn’t care that it was dangerous, they’d managed so far, she hadn’t killed him, hadn’t even drained him of a single thought. They’d done something much better, they’d found each other, shared who they were, what they were. A loner who’d had nothing but nightmares and a girl who’d wanted to die before she’d be touched.

He nudged her head with his getting her attention. She looked into his eyes and he saw the warmth she’d needed inside staring back at him. “Want a shower?” She nodded and a smile crept across her face, lighting up her eyes. He caught the image as it passed her mind. “Oh no missy, I need some time to recover. You can wear an old man out you know. ”

Looking down at her dress and seeing marks all over it, “I think we ought to get you washed and into something else.” His gaze met hers and a small blush was starting out across her face.
“I don’t know how Kitty’s going to like it when I hand it back.” Bringing his lips to hers he kissed her, allowing her to explore his mouth. Eager, tasting and hungry, a little hard but then who had she had to practise on? Sliding out of her he let her down onto the floor, her dress falling back and covering her. Moving himself a little so as not to leave another mark on the already ruined dress. Letting her go and sending her to the bathroom he watched her walk across the floor, her movements unsteady and seeing her wince a little. Smiling as he thought about that walk, the tell tale swing that was like a calling card of the young virgin. Looking down in surprise as he’d recovered a little sooner than he’d thought he’d need. Hearing the water come on and listening to the fall of silk he might go and see if she was ready too.

The bathroom was already steamy when he went in, pushing off his shoes, peeling off his trousers and socks he stepped in behind her. Hearing her surprise as he touched her back letting the warm water run down between her breasts. Bending his head to kiss her shoulders and neck, biting the skin making her gasp. She made to turn round but he kept her back to him. Allowing his hands to roam over her skin, feeling their ridges move over the pale tones of her body. Closing her eyes she spoke, “But what if I?” He shushed her and continued to touch, to explore her skin. It didn’t matter, all that mattered was now, this touch, this place. He could always let go if she began to use her gift, but part of him doubted that he could, even if he’d wanted to.

Hands found her breasts, using his fingers he gently teased her nipples, watching as one of her hands reached for herself, feeling the other reach for him. Her grip surprisingly strong around him, holding her hand he loosened her grip, allowing her soft palm to gently pull against him. Looking over her shoulder as she played with herself, opening her lips and using practised strokes on her sex. He wondered how often she’d done this alone, as if to answer him she showed her thoughts. She’d been here before, in this room. His hands stopped momentarily as he followed the memory. She’d come in, explored the cupboard, nosed around, used the shower and had come twice while she’d been there. Wrapped in his old towel she’d brought herself to a shuddering climax, wondering if he would smell her here later.

But he’d been away and all traces of her scent had gone by the time he’d returned. He was here now and that was all that mattered, turning her round to face him he kissed her roughly, hungrily. She’d shown him what she’d done, what she’d wanted to happen. Wrapping her leg around his, she tried to move him into her but he moved her hips away, deeply growling his displeasure. No, he wasn’t ready yet, he wouldn’t be rushed. His eyes flashed a warning to her, this was his place, she’d invaded, she owed him.

The animal rose to the surface, allowing it free, his hand twisted in her hair. Pulling her head to his, hungry, needing to dominate, to stamp his authority in this room, this place where he was vulnerable. His fingers found her, slick, hot and open. He slid two fingers inside her and could feel the muscle try to give. Feeling her wince as his fingers stretched her, her kiss becoming harder, hungry. Her hand playing with her breasts, raising her excitement further as he used his thumb to caress her clit. The other wrapped around his shaft, beginning to get into a good rhythm, hard but gentle pressure. Moving his mouth away from hers he bit her shoulder, hard. Teeth making a deep impression on her pale skin, red and livid, marking her as his. She groaned as he bit, the pleasure being mixed with the pain of the bite, forever bonded together in her memory.

Speeding up the movements of his fingers, he began to thrust against her hand. Feeling the beginnings from deep within himself, feeling her writhe and shudder on his hand, bucking her hips toward him trying to milk every last drop of pleasure from it. Leaning her back as his mouth found her breast, sucking hard on the raised nipple he found there, flicking it with his tongue, biting gently. Hearing her shout his name, asking him to fuck her, to do anything but stop the pleasure the emotions and sensations.

Gritting his teeth as he felt his own pressure building, the animal needing release, wanting to slam into her, to lift her onto him and make her his. Grabbing her wrist he tightened her grip and helped her bring him home. As he came he growled her name and her eyes found his, he saw the fire there satiated, banked. Removing his fingers from her he slid them into his mouth and tasted her, watching as her eyes widened as he cleaned his fingers. Smiling at her blush that crept across her face, he pulled her to him and kissed her. Sharing the sweetness of her, feeling her hand release him and pull him closer to her as they stood under the warm rain. Just letting it’s gentle warmth ease them, allowing it to mix their scent together, completing their bond.

***************************************************

He dried her off and wrapped her in the towel she’d used once before, picking her up her carried her to his bed. Her bare arms wrapped around his neck, he didn’t know how they’d managed so far, but he didn’t want the spell to end. Opening the covers he slid her inside, knowing that she could hurt him at any moment, a simple touch that would end this dream. He could see her worrying about it, why it hadn’t happened yet. Picking up her gloves he handed them to her, seeing the pain in her eyes as she pulled them back on. Keeping a sheet between them he got in beside her, they both knew it made sense but it didn’t stop it from hurting.

She looked at him and found tears forming there, his own emotions free at last. Her own concerns lost, her hand touched them and wiped them away, freeing his vision of her laid in his bed. Hair still damp and her skin smelling of him. It was too perfect, as if he expected something to shatter it, to come and destroy all this happiness. “Don’t worry. I’ll do it. I’m nearly there now as it is. It was going to be a surprise for Christmas but I’ll show you now if you want?” He looked at her quizzically, what was she talking about?

Straightening herself in the bed, he could feel her mind concentrating, pulling everything down into her hands, just her hands. Seeing her make blocks on her wrists, keeping all her concentration on her wrists like two iron bands. When she was certain she opened her eyes, “Touch me, touch my hand. Only for a moment.” She pulled off one glove and put up one finger, he reached out and felt the pull of her mutation as soon as he touched her skin. Snatching his finger away he looked at her, his mind full of questions. “Now touch my face. Don’t worry I wont hurt you.” It wouldn’t have mattered if she could have he did it anyway. As his fingers touched her skin he expected to feel the same pull but nothing happened. She saw the shock register across his face.

“The professor’s been helping me, I should be able to control it completely by next year. Able to switch it on and off. I’ll be able to touch people, hold them, without wearing these.” Her gaze rested on her gloves, a small tear rolling down her face as she put the glove back on. His mind was swimming with all this new information, she had changed so much from what he remembered. She saw his confusion as it passed his eyes. “I didn’t keep it from you, I promise.” Her voice sounded hurt as if he was going to scold her. “I just wanted to be sure that I could do it before I told you.”
“But how did we manage this?” She blushed and her eyes looked away.
“I asked for help.” The connotations hit him. Xavier had helped her to control her power tonight. She’d planned this.

He felt confused, tricked, annoyed but overall happy. She saw his emotions run across his face and tried to keep up. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just wanted us to..” Her voice trailed off and she looked away from him, small tears already falling from her eyes. “Don’t be mad, please don’t be mad.” He lifted her face and looked in her eyes, wiping away the tears there he answered.
“Why would I be mad? Why should I be when I’ve got everything I’ve ever wanted? I didn’t know how long we had Marie so I just took each moment as it came. Next time I’ll know I can take my time.” She saw the sparkle in his eye and smiled.
“Next time? When’s that going to be?”
“Oh I don’t know, next birthday perhaps?” He laughed as she hit him and began to protest.

“Like your present then?” Seeing her smile from her soul he settled down next to her and felt the comforting weight of her against him. As they drifted off the sleep he caught the edge of a thought drifting away from them. Xavier. He’d have to thank him tomorrow but hopefully it wouldn’t become a habit. They’d be patient, let her gain strength in her ability and him in his trust for those around him.

Just before he fell asleep he wondered how Peiter had gotten on and if she’d worn him out yet? He’d know by tomorrow, but he was more concerned with the soft form next to him. Sighing he drifted off into sleep, free from nightmares now he had a light to hold.

He’d woke with hunger gnawing at his insides, his hand spread out across the bed searching for her warmth. Snapping awake fully when he didn’t find her next to him, her scent was still on the air and he smelled the vapours of soap in the room. Growling softly he pulled himself round to the edge of the bed, feet standing on ruined silk. The touch of it rekindling the memory of the night before and the emotions that they’d both released into each other. Stretching out the kinks of sleep he wandered to the bathroom expecting her to be there, disappointed when he found it empty. Concerned he looked around for her dress; it was missing, as were her shoes.

The bottom of his stomach fell away from him, leaving him naked, stranded and angry with himself. Cursing under his breath he grabbed his old jeans and struggled into them, he was halfway to the door when it opened. There she was, washed, happy and dressed in his old joggers. Trying to balance a tray loaded with food and a coffee pot, seeing her eyes light up as she saw him stood there. He could see her amusement in their sparkle, felt a heat rise from his body and creep across his face. She put him out of his misery. “Hungry? I was starving so I went to make breakfast, hope you like eggs the way I make em.” She managed the door and was walking across the floor to the bed; he couldn’t help but watch her hips sway. Diverting the blood in his skin somewhere else.

“I just woke up and I couldn’t find you,” he left the sentence open, sending his thought to her. He’d worried that he’d hurt her, done something wrong, something she’d regretted the next morning. Putting the warm tray on the bed she turned back to him and slid her gloved hands around his middle.
“You're not getting rid of me that easily.” Her eyes showed her depth of feeling for him and it scared him a little. She loved him, with everything she had. The smell of breakfast taunting him he quickly kissed her mouth, bringing her close to him to feel her effect on him, making her smile.
“Next time, wake me first ok?” She felt him stiffen against her as he pulled her into him and she smiled.
“Ok, I’ll think of something to wake you when you’re snoring like a buzz saw.”
“I snore!” Her face split in laughter as he tried to deny the accusation.
“Yeah you snore, worse than Kitty.” She let go of him and seated herself on the bed, pouring out coffee into two mugs. Taking one from her he sat down on the floor, her legs either side of his shoulders.
“How did she take the dress?” He could hear her intake of breath as she drank the hot brew.
“Lets just say she wasn’t too worried about it, just that she wants the full details later.”

He almost choked on the mouthful of coffee he had. Turning to look at her his face was full of shock and he saw the laughter written all over her face. “Did you think we weren’t noticed when we left? When the guest of honour leaves her own party, people notice. Don’t worry I haven’t said anything but I think my smile did that for me. Ororo asked if I had fun last night.”

This time coffee sprayed out across the room. Coughing he knelt up and faced a red faced and laughing Marie.
“WHAT!”
It took her a few moments to calm down enough to speak.
“Logan, we were heard by half of this floor. We can’t deny it. Even Peiter blushed when he passed me in the hallway. You didn’t seem to care last night how much racket we made.”
He shot her a look that spoke volumes. “Yeah but that was last night, we’ve got to look people in the eye today.” Her eyes lost some of their humour and her face hardened as the words reached her.

“Do you think it was easy for me? To ask for help with something so sensitive? To go to the Professor and ask him to control my powers for me? To allow him inside my mind and ride in there?” He watched as tears formed in her green eyes, clouding them over. “To know exactly what I was doing and why? Don’t you think that was hard for *me*? Knowing that people will know what happened last night and still be okay with it all? Knowing that I can’t even have last night between us *alone*, that I had to ask or I wouldn’t have had it at all?” Her gloved hands gripped the mug tightly, almost crushing it under her knuckles.

He’d hurt her again. Without even thinking about everything she’d done, all the planning, all the talking about last night, all the preparation of herself, the lessons in control and finally giving the control over to someone else. Someone she’d had to trust with his life as well as her own. Putting the mug down he slid his hand in her hair and found her gaze. “I’m sorry Marie. All I ever seem to do is hurt you.” Catching his intention in his words he saw the anger flare in her.

“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare give up on us. I didn’t go through all this for just one night. If sex had been my only purpose do you think for one second I wouldn’t have asked him to help me with Bobby?” The words stung as they passed from her mouth and into him, tearing open a wound he didn’t even knew existed.

Bobby.

Seeing the effect of her words she spoke. “If all I’d wanted was one night Logan I would have done this before now. But I didn’t want just one night. I want you, only you.” The tear tracks glistened as she smiled, her eyes searching his face for a sign she’d healed the wound she’d caused with her words. “I don’t want anyone else. If that meant not having anyone for the rest of my life, I’d have done it.” He felt the truth in her words, knowing in his soul that she would have been alone forever, untouched and unloved. She wanted him, only him. With everything that he was, everything he had been and all that he would be.

Pulling her into his arms he held her, stroking her hair and breathing her into him. Allowing himself to feel, smiling as the warmth spread out from his centre and through his skin, feeling her relax as she caught the emotion and relaxed into it. Her legs wrapped around his hips, his chest against hers, her head leant against his, feeling her tears fall into his hair. Smiling as he heard her whisper ‘I love you’, almost crushing her in response and not feeling the tears run down his face and burn into her skin as he cried.

He felt complete, healed, whole. He knew how deep the ties he’d made went, that they were each other’s and nothing would ever change that. Recalling a memory of the autumn camp in the woods, watching a pair of wolves. Showing the kids the truth behind the myths, that they mated for life, kept each other strong, supported each other against all challenges. Survived as a pair, not alone. He knew the emotions he’d been privileged to see in their eyes, he’d found his mate and no matter who or what he’d be supported and loved.

Releasing her from his embrace he sought her face, looking for confirmation of his feelings in there. Her eyes soft and welcome, almost motherly as she scanned his face, trying to ease his pain at being left alone that had marked itself there. Feeling the warmth as she smiled and pecked him quickly on the lips and moved to the tray’s contents. Love was good but it didn’t fill bellies and they both needed refuelling after last night.

*******************************************************

They’d just finished the tray when he heard footsteps stop outside the door, that narrowed the possibilities of who it could be. Looking at his watch the time read 9.30am, almost time for his day to start. Marie was piling plates together and getting the tray ready to take back to the kitchen. He could smell indecision coming from the other side of the door, confusion and a little bit of jealousy. He pushed up off the floor and opened the door in one smooth movement.

Bobby just stood there, the decision taken from him of whether he should open the door or not. Bobby’s eye caught sight of Marie and he caught the anger rising from his body. He could feel him steel himself and pull himself under control, raising his blood pressure and flushing his skin. He eventually managed to speak. “The Professor wants to see you in Cerebro. There’s something happening and he wants you down there.”
At the sound of Bobby’s voice Marie had turned toward the door and the look on her face was one of disgust, she walked straight for him balancing the laden tray. As he moved aside for her, he caught her emotions, rage and hatred poured from her and into Bobby. That he had to come and spoil her day, their day. He caught her shoulder as she passed and he sent a thought to her, her eyes burned into his and he felt her anger subside a little.

She smiled at Bobby and he moved out of the doorway letting her past. His eyes never leaving her as she walked down the corridor, only snapping back to him when he’d shut the door. “Let’s go see what he wants shall we?” He put his hand over Bobby’s shoulder leaving his knuckles pointing toward Bobby’s face, a reminder of who was really in charge. He caught the intent and stiffened up, his back almost ramrod straight. Laughing inside he unclenched his hand and patted him on the back and walked down the corridor, still smelling Bobby’s uncertainty in his nostrils.

He turned and Bobby was still stood there, as if he was rooted to the spot, eyes downcast and half-turned toward the door. He’d wanted to be in there, instead of him. To have touched her, loved her, bonding with her until there was no separation of self and the one you loved. He felt a twinge of guilt as he understood how much she’d meant to Bobby, he’d taken her away from him and underneath he’d known that he’d only been a stopgap anyway. He’d never be what she’d really wanted.

Him.

Feeling his hurt he called out to him. “You coming or am I waiting for you all day?” He caught Bobbie’s eye and the small tears at the corners of them. Heard him mumble and walk down the corridor toward him, they needed to talk but it would have to wait. There were other matters first.

****************************************************

The Professor was sat just outside the door of Cerebro, his face full of shadows and his curiosity stepped up a notch. Hearing their combined footsteps he looked up into their faces. At that moment he knew something was wrong, something had changed. “Ah Logan, if you’d please come with me into the control room.” He swung his chair down the right hand corridor toward the room with the large 3d table in it. Sending a quizzical look to Bobby he was met by one just as confused as his had been. There was no sign of Scott, Ororo or Kurt, just them. The door opened by itself revealing the interior, there were already maps forming on the silvery surface of the table.

The Professor wheeled himself around the other side, his eyes dark and brooding, taking in every detail of the image in front of him. The way the Professor looked at it he felt something had gone terribly wrong, clearing his throat he asked the question that had hung in the air since they’d arrived.
“What’s happened?” The Professor didn’t speak for what seemed like an age, looking older than he’d ever seen when he eventually answered him.
“Scott is missing, I want you and Bobby to go in the jet to find him.” He pointed to the 3d map on the table. “He went to aid a mutant last night after the party, a Doctor Hank McCoy.” Bobby’s face lit up when he heard the name and he shot a look at both of them.

“Yes Bobby, we know you know him. He used to teach you high school science didn’t he? Your small relationship with him may be of assistance to us and I want you to accompany Logan. His mutation has shown itself fully and he was in need of assistance, so I sent Scott.” He pointed to the table.

“This is the facility that Dr McCoy was working in. A small genetics company, working to map the genetics of new mutants and to stabilise the mutant gene that can cause problems in a few unlucky children. We had a child here with the same problem about a year ago. He was able to control water, its flow and actual structure. Unfortunately he could also control the use of molecules, resulting in a total breakdown of his body. There was nothing we could do for him, he died.”
The pain was still evident in his eyes as he spoke, he had felt the death, the total dissolution of a mind and body still too young to understand what was happening to it. “We need him to continue his work but there are those who don’t want him to succeed.” His eyes caught his and he felt the thought open in his mind, Stryker. He understood why he wanted him to go, there could be more answers for him as well as helping the Professor. Scanning the map on the table he found at least five different points of entry that could be easily done without drawing attention.

“Right when do we go?” He looked at the Professor, noticing how hard he was trying to keep himself under control, to keep his mind positive.
“As soon as your dressed.” Looking down at himself he realised he’d come down only in his trousers. Smiling he pushed himself off the table’s edge and stood upright.
“First I want to say thanks. You know what for.” His eyes quickly flicked to Bobby, his attention was fully occupied by the map on the table. “I’ll bring them back safe and sound if I can.” A small weak smile played over Xavier’s waxen face, he really was worried.
“No thanks necessary Logan, just bring them home. Find out what’s happened and try to do it quietly, if you can.”

Feeling Bobby stiffen up as he realised that he’d be flying the jet Logan turned to him, watching the colour drain from his face. Smiling he slapped him on the back, making him wince with the force.
“Come on Bobby, let’s get you dressed. Rescuing folks isn’t a job for casual clothes.” He walked away from the table and the Professor, smelling the uncertainty radiate from the young man. He turned to look at him at the door, “Are you going to make this waiting for you a habit? If you are I might not bring you back next time.” He saw the panicked look pass from Bobby to the Professor and the Professor nodded to him to go with him.

******************************************************

As Bobby passed him in the doorway he looked back to the Professor, “I’ll bring him home Xavier, alive.” He could see the half-formed tears glisten as he sat searching the 3d picture for clues, any ideas of what had happened to Scott. As they lifted to meet his Xavier opened his mind to him and he felt the pain of loss flow through him, opening the animal’s rage inside. “Just in case Logan, do what you have to but bring them home. Alive if you can.” Feeling the animal raging just under the surface he nodded and clenched his fists, feeling the blades slide down his forearm and split through his skin. Raising them so that they caught the light from the hallway, turning them back he released them and they slid away back into him. Meeting Xavier’s gaze he understood his orders and the animal howled inside, maybe today was going to be even better than yesterday.

When he caught up with Bobby the smile he showed him sent fear running through the young man, making the small room rank with it. Patting him on the back. “Looks like we’re a team Bobby, at least for today. Let’s act like one.” Eyes boring into Bobby’s looking for a glimmer of defiance and finding nothing but fear and trepidation there. Realising that this was his first real mission, his first test, first hunt. Smiling warmly he went to put on his own suit. “Don’t worry about it Bobby, you’ll do fine. Just do what I tell you, when I tell you and we’ll get through this with all our skin intact. Remember girls like the good guys.” His eyes found Bobby’s and a blush spread out from his face as he fastened up the front of the borrowed suit. “And today we’re the good guys.”


Bobby watched him suit up, paying attention to the details of the fastenings, the way he stretched each seam, loosening the leather there. Seeing him, he copied and found it difficult to get back up from the crouch he’d put himself in. Holding out his ungloved hand to Bobby the young man grasped it firmly and pulled himself upright. He could feel the embarrassment flowing from him, making him smile. “Don’t worry about it, it took me a couple of weeks to break mine in. Leather protects you but it isn’t easy to move in if your not used to it.” Bobby was quiet, almost calm but he knew he was running on adrenaline and they hadn’t even left the school yet. By the time they got to the facility he’d be a nervous wreck. Time to take his mind off what’s going on and he knew just how to do that.

He waited till they were almost aboard the jet when he spoke, “So tell me about you and Rogue, did you ever fuck her?” Bobby stopped short of the cockpit and turned to face him, he could feel the jealousy burning inside him, barely controlled. He went a shade of red and forced himself to sit in the pilot’s seat and concentrated on the controls. Ignoring him and his words, he decided to push it.

“She really wasn’t very nice about you. You see she really didn’t like being used as a charity case, she knew you felt sorry for her. That you were only with her to make yourself feel better, to give her a friend, or was it a sympathy fuck you were after?”

That did it.

Bobby threw himself into him, landing a good blow on his cheekbone that must have hurt like hell. But he kept punching and it was all he could do not to laugh at him, the blows were young, weak and inexperienced. Xavier had been right to ask him to teach the students, if this was Bobby's best effort’s they needed it.

Grabbing his fists he held them tightly and pushed himself out of the co-pilot’s seat. Walking Bobby backward into the large fuselage, giving them more room. He didn’t want to damage the delicate systems at the front of the jet. Bobby was fuming, his eyes blurred with anger, skin flushed and red, breathing quick and shallow, showing his teeth with each breath he took. He was trying not to explode, not to release his power, not to freeze him until he became a walking ice cube. He met his gaze and he could feel the anger burning in there, the hatred that she’d picked him, that when they were together she’d wondered where he’d been, what he’d been doing, who he’d been with. He released his wrists and Bobby pushed away from him, unsure what to do or how to react. His emotions ran riot across his face one moment upset the next angry.

“So what do you want to do? Fight? Because if that’s what you want to do we’d better get started we have people relying on us and we have to work together to pull this off.” Bobby bit his bottom lip and he could see the steam coming from the leather of his gloves as the frost formed on the supple leather. “What’s it going to be?” He flexed his hands, readying the blades there, just in case. This could go either way.

He almost missed it when he spoke it was so quiet. “Why you?” He sounded like a child, a spoiled petulant child.
“Because she wanted me, no other reason. I didn’t take her from you, she chose. I don’t chase. She caught me when I wasn’t even looking.” His eyes met his and he could see the spite, hard and cruel in their blue depths. Revealing a side of him that he doubted anyone had ever seen at the school.

“What about Damask? Finished with her now? Moved onto fresher pastures?” The comment hit him like a physical blow. Angry he stepped forward and slapped Bobby, hard. The blow snapped his head backwards, widening his eyes as he felt the sting of the leather across his skin. Bobby looked into his eyes and saw the animal rise to the surface, making Logan snarl out each word.
“You weren’t there, you don’t have the right to judge me or her! I saved your ass last year now I’m starting to regret it. Why don’t you ask her what she thinks?! What *she* feels about it because I have and I *know*. I’m a man about these things bub, I don’t eat ice cream when I get confused, go and sort it out. You want to know about me and Rogue? You go ask her why she picked me, maybe because I didn’t treat her as a damn charity case. A poor little lonely girl with no-one who needed someone to be with just in case someone asked who her friends were!”

Bobby felt the bruise forming on his cheek and the anger left his frame, leaving him drained and washed-out. Looking like a marionette with all it’s strings cut, just dangling in nothing. “We’re needed and you stand there as if it doesn’t matter. That this moment is the end of your world, well I’m sorry to break it to you bub but you’re not the centre of it. Xavier has put his trust in both of us to get Cyc back and that’s what I’m trying to do.”

He looked at Bobby with fresh eyes and saw him pull himself back together, brushing the ice from his hands that had formed there. “You ready to go now?” Bobby nodded and pushed past him and sat in the pilot’s seat. “If you want to continue this later we will but at the moment I need you to focus on what were doing and why. Personal don’t count, that’s when we’re back home and everyone’s safe.” Logan's eyes burnt into Bobby’s cold blue and he could see the ice form in them, freezing his emotions.
“Yeah we’ll finish it later.” Starting the engines he thought the sound would cover the rest of his sentence “That is if we come back at all.” He looked at Bobby and he knew he’d heard him.

Moving his gaze away from his he concentrated on piloting the jet out of the hanger and into the blue morning. Leaving behind everything they both cared about and loved, it was just in the same body. The body that was watching the jet as it cleared the forest behind the school. Holding onto a ruined silk shirt and wondering if they’d both come back intact.

The facility lay just outside the Boston conurbation, its squat grey form hiding its true purpose. Blending in with the rest of the development, rubbing shoulders with technical services and computer programmers. Having parked the jet some distance away they’d approached the development quietly, sticking to the greenery that always accompanied such developments. Hiding them both. Checking his small watch the dial read 12.30pm, lunchtime but where was everyone? Winter had stripped the large trees making their footsteps muffle in the sharp air, the cars around the buildings looked used but there was something wrong here.

He could feel it in his bones. Sending a look to Bobby he watched as he shot off toward a large blue rv, kneeling down under the large vehicle he put his hand on the exhaust. A better way of gauging a cars use, they kept the heat longer in winter as they were protected from the cold wind. They kept their heat for up to six hours, Bobby shook his head and moved onto the next one. A few minutes later he was back in the evergreens, eyes alight and wound like a spring. “None of them seem to have been moved for a while, there’s an oil leak from one that must have been here for a couple of days. None of the ones I’ve touched have been moved for a while.” He could hear the question before he gave it voice. “So what now?” Logan turned to him and saw the excitement written all over him, making his muscles twitch and sweat.

“Now we go find out who that belongs to,” he pointed to the large white truck and trailer that was parked in the centre of the car park. “Did you see Cyc’s car anywhere?” Bobby looked around quickly, scanning the lot and a frown covered his face when he didn’t find it. “You won’t, it’s in the trailer.” Pulling out a small hand held tracker he showed Bobby the screen. He felt him stiffen up. “Your efforts weren’t wasted, we needed to know if the place was being watched and it is. When you were doing the car check I was watching someone watch you. We have to deal with them first.”

He could feel the heat from where he was, Bobby's face was bright red. Smiling he put his hand on his shoulder, “Don’t worry about it, I’ve done worse on my first trip out.” Taking the compliment onboard he made ready to move. Silently they moved through the bushes, the autumn carpet dampening their movements. They ended up across from the large trailer, only a few feet of open ground to cover. He looked at Bobby and nodded, they’d discussed what they’d needed to do earlier. Go quickly, find out who or what was going on inside the trailer and get out. Hopefully with Cyc and the doc.

They burst from the underbrush and quickly covered the few feet between them and the trailer doors, snapping the seal off with his claws he pulled the handle and the doors flew open. Bobby tensed and ready in case anything came out. Inside was Cyc’s car, strapped down to the floor of the trailer two men sat inside drinking. One sat at the front of the trailer with binoculars, the glint he’d seen earlier when Bobby had been searching the cars.

Breathing in the air of the trailer he picked up a scent he remembered, the sniper. His claws fired fully and he ran toward the source of the scent, the watcher. The two men in the car threw their drinks aside and made to grab him as he passed. The sniper kicked a panel and fell out of the trailer’s end, angry and frustrated he called out to Bobby. “Stop him, he shot Rogue!” He was gone in an instant, he could hear his footsteps chasing the man, he just hoped Bobby could stop him.


The two men that had him were finding it hard to hold him while they were still in the car and seemed reluctant to leave it. Slicing through an arm that was holding him, he watched as the man’s eyes widened with shock as he felt the blades cut through to his bone. The scream that echoed around the small space delighted the animal inside, the other assailant quickly let go and ran for the doors. But Wolverine was quicker, sticking out a foot he tripped him as he left the small car. Smashing his face into the metal floor, dazing the man just enough to grab him back.

Putting his foot on his chest and pressing hard with all his weight, he heard his sternum creak with the pressure. Moving would be excruciatingly painful, even breathing would be a struggle for him. Holding the screaming man close to him he let the animal free, letting it show in his eyes. “Hey bub, where is he?” The man found his gaze and he could see the indecision there, whether or not to speak. He pushed down on his friend’s chest and they both heard a wet snap as a rib exploded.

“He’s got plenty more to break. Want to go for two?” His blades came up to his gaze and his eyes widened and he flooded the room with fear. The man looked at his friend his lips speckled with red foam. The rib had punctured a lung, making his breathing even more difficult. Licking his dry lips he spoke, “They're down in basement level eight. You’ll never get down there, they’re all locked by code key.” Lifting his blades he smiled.
“Oh I don’t think that’ll be a problem, do you?”

*******************************************************

It took him a few minutes to secure them back in the trailer, tying them down to the metal floor with the strips of webbing that had been used to support the car. Running from the now closed doors of the trailer he looked around for Bobby. He caught the movement in the far edge of the car park and ran for it. He could see Bobby all over the man, trying to duck punches but telegraphing his own movements to his opponent. As he reached them he saw Bobby land a good blow to the man, a punch to the stomach. He watched as the man’s eyes widened as Bobby’s hand didn’t move from his midriff and he knew what he was doing. Growling he pulled Bobby away from him, seeing the cold vapour in the air and the frosty patch on the snipers stomach.

The man fell to his knees and just held himself, trying to warm up, trying to feel the blood flow through him again. Logan looked at Bobby and he just stared at the man with pure hate, he wanted to kill him for hurting Rogue but a dead man couldn’t give you answers. Taking the strap he’d brought with him he wrapped the man up in a ball, Bobby just watched with barely disguised hatred.

Bobby needed to see Xavier after this was over. There was something going on inside Bobby that no one knew about, something dangerous. They pulled him into the evergreens and he put him out for a while. Searching his pockets they came up with a small silver card and a key. He met Bobby’s gaze and he could feel the shift in him, the boy he’d known had retreated behind something, something cold and unfeeling. He’d seen it too many times not to recognise it, he used to see it in the mirror every day. He’d need to deal with this later, at the moment they still had to find Cyc. “Ready?” Bobby just nodded. He was ready, ready to kill if necessary. He just hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but underneath the animal hoped it would.

**************************************************

The air inside the building smelt stale, air conditioners droned drowning out the high range of his hearing. They’d entered through a small opaque window, the room looked like a slob had been living in a lab. Candy wrappers mixed with test kits, beakers strewn over the floor, paper everywhere, flowing out of the small desk and over the already cluttered surfaces. Bobby picked up a folder and read the small typeface on the front, “You should see this.” He handed the file over, the plain brown folder enveloping a large sheaf of photographs and documents, he read the name on the file ‘Subject 2287-4007 Code Number 8#66*9226/5 (Sabretooth).’

Opening the file in the semi lit room, he looked at the reams and reams of printouts, tests, blood work, physical ranges, strength tests, photographs of his hands, teeth, eyes, brain scans, bone structure.
Everything.
Looking out of the file and around the room searching for something anything that might have his name on it, his file, his own history. Bobby had crept to the door, crouched by the handle and gently pulled the door open.

“Can’t see any camera’s, there’s bound to be some but I can’t see them.” Bobby’s voice snapped his thoughts back to the here and now, answers were for later when they had more time. He dropped the file back on the cluttered desk, now they had to find the lift. Patting Bobby on the back he opened the door and they both quickly walked through, shutting the door quietly behind them. The carpet underneath their feet was plush, thick and quiet, moving quickly they reached the foyer and found the desk empty. No one home. Moving round the desk, the phone lines cut and the computer monitor smashed, he shook his head as Bobby took a look.

“There’s nothing to see.” Bobby’s eyes met his.
“Really? Where’s the hardrive?” He quickly searched the desktop, searched underneath for it and came up empty. “Look’s like they’re here for more than just the doc.” A dark thought surfaced in his mind.
“Yeah, if this place is what we think it is, they’d have records of families with mutants. They get hold of that information…” he left the sentence open for the consequences to sink in. The Mutant Registration Act had been quashed again last year, looking at the gap where the hardware should have been, it seemed like someone else was starting to gather their names again. A look passed between them and both of them looked toward the lift doors to their left. Time to go down.

Going down the fire escape Bobby wondered why they’d had to come this way, the lift was easy, it was quick. But Logan told him why but he still wondered. “They’ll expect us to come down in the lift, the one place you rarely find camera’s is in the fire escape. Especially in places like these, built cheap and fast. If there's anyone waiting at those doors, we’ll be behind them when the doors open.” The smile that had covered his face hadn’t reached his eyes and he’d felt the cold from them. Secretly Bobby hoped never to see that look again.

Eight flights later they arrived at the bottom door, a code key lock the only furniture on it. Steel plated and reinforced to serve regulations, the small bulkhead style lights barely illuminating the stairwell. Taking the key he slid it into the lock, it clicked quietly as the internal bolt opened, signalling to Bobby to do his thing on the door. Pulling off a glove he froze over the lock mechanism, keeping the bolt open and the door handle fixed. Nodding when he’d finished the job he pulled the glove back on, smiling at his skill.

Checking the hallway an armed man slouched by the lift, his eyes watching the counter as the lift came down. Moving into position, readying the automatic to fire into the lift when the doors opened. He could smell the man’s excitement and he waved Bobby to stay where he was for now. Crouching low he waiting for the lift to arrive, tensing every muscle, getting ready. His claws slid out noiselessly, Bobby’s eyes watched their growth and he licked his lips nervously.

The lift pinged as it reached the floor and Wolverine exploded out of the fire escape and into the man before the doors opened. Both sets of claws sank into his chest and punctured the wall behind him. He didn’t even get to gasp through his ruined lungs. Blood welled up from the severed arteries and began to spill over the wall, watching it flow from the wounds across the plaster he howled for more. Catching the man as he fell forward he placed him in the lift, sliced the controls and let the doors shut on him. Waving Bobby out of the stairwell, they had a good look around them for the first time.

The floor was hard, tiled, plastic, grey, easily cleaned. Two sets of doors led off from the small foyer one right, one left. Putting his head to one set of doors, hearing sounds of men laughing, smells of food and sweat. Waving Bobby to the other doorway, catching a scent of home, of roses. Turning to the doorway in front of him with all the sounds of occupation behind it he bent down till his face was almost at floor level. Breathing in hard finding the different scents of at least four men, two were speaking, two weren’t. But underneath their odours he caught the scent of a Damask Rose, he knew Cyc had taken to carrying a bud in his suit. A reminder of happier times, of him and Jean, Cyc was here and he was behind that door but so were at least four other men. Probably armed too just like their friend. Looking back at Bobby whispering what he wanted him to do, he didn’t want him in the firing line. He’d go and check the other corridor, try to find the doc.

He doubted that they’d be held in the same room, he wouldn’t keep them together if it had been his call. He was relying on Bobby’s common sense to keep him alive, the kid seemed more grounded; more cautious now they were here. He watched him go through the doors and listened for anything unusual. He hadn’t scented any danger that way, he hadn’t caught the scent of anyone, just chemicals.

Letting his breathing slow down, feeling the mood behind the door, the confidence of the voices, the scents of men settling in for a night. Feeling secure and safe, nothing to worry about, time to kick back and talk about what they were going to do after this gig. Getting his blades under the wooden door and pulling it open slowly, just enough to slip through. Sliding on his stomach down the smooth grey floor, the leather of the suit gliding easily against its polished surface. Pulling into a crouch just the other side of the doorway where the men were talking, the door was open, spilling light into the darkened hallway.

Quickly taking a glance inside, he saw two men seated in soft armchairs, both drinking coffee. It looked like a rec room for staff, boards covered the walls, one had a new piece of news on it, spray painted in blood red. ‘Mutants Out!’ Obviously the author wasn’t very original, he’d been seeing that slogan for years. Satisfied that they were busy he quickly moved away from the doorway and crossed the beam of light that filtered into the hallway. The corridor curved off to the left, the next doorway was on his right. He could smell the other two in there, putting his ear to the door he heard the soft sounds of sleep. Using a blade he sliced off the doorknob on his side and pulled the bar out. That would keep them for a while, maybe long enough for them to get out.

Letting his senses guide him the dark corridor was light to him, the floor soft and quiet. His sense of smell guided him to the scents source, it was a small steel faced storeroom with a keypad lock and padlock. The familiar scent of Cyc was overwhelming, but so was the smell of fresh blood. Slicing through the doorjamb he ripped open the door, it took him a while to locate Cyc in the room. He was huddled in a corner, head down, no visor to be seen. He whispered as he carefully closed the door, “Cyc? Cyc can you hear me?”

Scott moved slightly when he heard his voice, quickly seeing why he couldn’t move any further. He’d been trussed up like a chicken, arms and legs twisted together but his face was the worst. Across his eyes was a burn, the flesh still red, raw and sticky. Moving the gag they’d put on him he gasped for a decent breath. “Don’t worry Cyc, Xavier sent me to find you. We’re going to get you out of here.” Slicing through the plastic ties they’d used to hold him, he helped rub the circulation back into his arms and legs. Wincing with the pain Scott answered him.
“There’s more of us than you think. There’s a dorm on level six.”
Logan stopped rubbing and his face set. “Where is he, this McCoy?”

Scott tried to stand using Logan as a crutch. Feeling the pain shoot through him as he moved, feeling another rib float as he gripped onto him.
“He’s in the theatre, other corridor. They were going to shave him, as a joke.”
“Shave him?” Scott smiled a little at the tone of his voice.
“Yeah he’s more hairy than you, if that’s possible.” Smiling at the remark he pulled Scott closer to support him, he’d survive if he could get him out of here alive. Looking at the burn across Scott’s eyes he had a bit of settling to do first, he just hoped Bobby hadn’t interrupted anything.

If they were going to have some fun that meant there were more men than they’d already seen. “How many men are down here?” Helping Cyc to the door Logan quickly looked back out into the corridor. Watching as Cyc’s memory filled in the blanks.
“I saw at least ten down here. Who else is here? Is Kurt with you? Storm?” He could see him trying to work out a plan, a feasible way that they could all leave. But to do that he needed to know how many people they had.
“There’s me and Ice Man. That’s it.” He saw Cyc’s face stiffen as he worked out the chances of them getting everyone out intact. His final look was not one of confidence.

“What happened? You came to pick up the Doc and we get to pick you up. Did they jump you or what?” Cyc leaned against the doorframe as he allowed feeling and co-ordination back into his legs.
“I was met by Hank, the Doc. He wanted to show me his work and we went down to his lab, on the way there we were met by these guys. The so-called ‘Fellowship of Humans’. They’ve been rabble rousing for a couple of years but until now they’ve never had the muscle or money to do something like this.”
“And there was me thinking you just liked Washington for its nightlife.” Cyc smiled as he flexed his legs.
“Sometimes I’d rather be at home than in another damn fundraiser or social.” Logan watched the mixed emotions cross his face. Scott needed to be useful to Xavier but his need to be close to the school and pupils Jean loved was there also.

“Yeah but you can get them to talk and change things. Me, I’d just cause more trouble.” A tight smile crossed his face.
“You’re not the only one Logan, sometimes it’s all I can do to stop myself from opening their eyes by opening mine.” Scott pushed himself away from the doorframe and made ready to leave. Looking him up and down seeing he was ready he opened the door into the corridor. Moving quietly he guided Scott out of the storeroom and out into the corridor. Bending his head to his ear. “Follow the wall, the first doorway you come to is the rec room where the guards are. I’ll deal with them, you just keep out of the way okay?” He nodded quickly and they both set off back down the dark corridor.

Moving ahead of Scott, watching his steps move slowly and carefully along the wall. Speeding up his own movements as the realisation that Bobby could be in serious trouble. He hadn’t heard anything, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t.

Logan decided to go straight in. The light from the overhead strip reflected on the metal in his fists as he walked through the open doorway. The two men barely looked round in time to see him before he was on them. The one who was seated remained that way as his blades slid through his chest and pinned him to the foam behind him. The other tried to run but was caught by a backhanded slice to the thigh. The muscle separated and he screamed, the sound echoing around the large room and rebounding down the corridor. Annoyed at the sound his fist found the man’s throat, collapsing it with a crunch of cartilage. The corpse slid noiselessly to the floor, Scotts visor rattling on the floor as he fell.

Snatching the visor he made his way to the door, Scott was just outside, tensed and ready. As he came out he grabbed him and drew back his fist. “Hey, hey it’s me.” Logan grabbed the fist and pushed his visor into it. “Put it on, you might be able to open your eyes. Those burns look pretty superficial.” Watching as he snapped the slick black visor into place, his whole body becoming more relaxed, more confident in himself. As he opened his eyes he could see the blisters pop and he had to blink to keep his vision clear but he could see. The eyes behind the red glass were burning and he knew what he wanted to do.
“Let’s go finish what I started.” Smiling he followed him through the double doors, toward the corridor he’d sent Bobby down alone. Now he’d see if he’d made another mistake, hopefully one he could rectify.

The stink of chemicals was overwhelming, smashed equipment littered the floor of the corridor, frost picked out objects in a few places. Where Bobby had stopped to check something, a piece of glass, a document. Walking side by side they checked each side door, each lab smashed beyond repair, documents destroyed, work that had taken years to produce, stolen. In every lab the hard drives of the computers were missing, this was a clean operation, thorough and professional. The smashing of equipment had been left to the goons who were still here. So who were using the F.O.H?

Laughter made them halt outside a lab, the next door up was occupied. They could hear the sound of men laughing and the small buzz of a cutter. Moving to either side of the open door they took a quick look inside.
Four men were holding down straps on a theatre table, the occupant of the table was half shaven, piles of blue/black fur were drifting to the floor. The occupant didn’t struggle, didn’t fight back just laid there. By the size of him he was at least six and a half feet in height, his musculature was heavy but not entirely human. Looking at the men stood around he found what he’d been looking for, Bobby.

He’d been strapped to a chair using the same ties as he’d found on Cyc, his face showed a huge bruise already forming. But at least one of them had a black palm print on their skin where he’d touched them. Smiling he looked over to Cyc, he nodded and held up four fingers, then three, then two, then one.

There were twelve men in all in the room the first blast from Cyc took out at least four. Watching as their faces turned from humour into shock as he ploughed into the room and into their bodies, slicing through them. Scattering the remains around the room with the ferocity of his actions. Not giving them enough time to draw the weapons they had at their waists, letting the animal free to kill, to tear, to destroy those who would kill him if given half a chance.
One man had a gun to Bobby’s head about to pull the trigger when Cyc blasted him through the wall, his power increased by his anger, some control lost by the actions that had prompted his fire.

The wall cracked and fell, a zigzag crack opened up along the ceiling, sending dust into the air. They had to leave before the whole place came down on top of them. Cyc checked on Bobby while he unstrapped the man on the table. He caught a look at his face and the features there, some human some animal. His eyes opened as he felt the straps being removed, they were amber and seemed to echo his own animal inside. “Come on, we’re leaving.” He held onto the fur that covered most of his skin and pulled him upright, the amber eyes swung around the devastation around him. Quickly moving over to Cyc and Bobby, he picked up the unconscious young man and ran out of the room toward the fire escape. He looked at Cyc and shrugged, hey talking could wait, they needed out of here and soon. His ears could pick up the strains the concrete structure was going through, listening to the grating of stone, feeling the ground shift under his feet as they ran toward safety.

Things were getting worse by the second, hearing walls exploding under the pressure of the floors above. His mind brought an image of Marie to the surface, her face smiling, eyes bright and full of mischief. Spurring him along the corridor, flinging open the door and pushing Cyc and the Doc ahead of him. Growling out in anger as they moved too slowly, he could hear the floors below them collapsing inward. Sending ripples through the ground, picking up on the vibrations that were echoing around the concrete stairwell. After what seemed like an age they burst through the top door and flew out of the double glass doors. He waved them toward the trailer, he had someone to pick up first.

The Sniper.

Reaching the evergreen patch he found him still huddled over himself. Using the strap he lifted the small mans weight easily and threw him over his shoulder, his groans of protest echoing in his ear.
“Shut up before I make it more permanent.”
Running over the tarmac surface he could hear the sound of an engine being fired. Cyc’s car exploded from the back of the trailer, Cyc sat behind the wheel looking for him. Reaching the car Logan threw the unconscious man in the back seat. Cyc watched as he bounced against the leather seats, as if he’d just dumped raw sewage in his seat well. “He’s our sniper, the one who tried to kill Xavier. Get him back alive, I’ve got Bobby to get us home I’ll bring the Beast back with me.” A deep baritone rumble made him turn, his eyes met a chest full of fur. “If that’s alright with you Doc?” A rich mellow voice washed over him.
“Of course, if you believe that this is the correct action I will happily come with you. Does the jet have some kind of medical facility on board?” The perfect syntax and calm demeanour took his breath away, it was true what the old saying said ‘Never judge a book by its cover’.

Cyc smiled as he saw him struggle to come to terms with the large mans intelligence. “Yeah there’s a small medi kit in the back.” He watched as the Doc moved Bobby from one meaty arm to the other, the muscle rippling under the skin. “Do me a favour Cyc, tell the Prof your okay. He’s been worried.” His gaze told him much more than his voice and Cyc smiled.
Tapping his skull he smiled, “Already done.”

Looking back at the squat building he saw dust and smoke begin to billow out of the doors. The acrid smell of burning plastic and wood reached his sensitive nose, turning to the Doc he spoke. “Time to go, before the neighbours realise we’ve been here.” Running away from the trailer and Cyc, they reached the jet in time to see Cyc reach the main road and blend into traffic.

Pointing a controller, stairs lowered and they got on board. Quickly flicking a switch inside, the stairs lifted and the jet cloaked itself from prying eyes. He could now help out and see what damage had been done to Bobby.

Walking to the rear of the jet the expert hands of the Doc’s were running over Bobby’s frame, his huge paws moving in delicate circles. Checking for breaks, looking for damage, eyes locked on the task, ignoring him completely. Still watching he opened a compartment and handed him the medi-kit, a huge hand took the box from him and made his own form feel small. Logan's eyes met the Doc’s and again he felt the pull of the animal inside him, the challenge of another Alpha Male.

Quashing it back down he concentrated on Bobby. Looking him over he could see a few scuffs on the tough leather, no holes though. Noticing the boot prints on his ribs he held down a snarl as he helped the Doc move him into a better position. Watching as he worked quickly and quietly, taping up the bruised ribs, looking at the bruises on his face and treating the shock of attack. After twenty minutes of treatment they both made him comfortable in the back, strapping him in safely. When he was secure they both walked back to the front of the jet, the Doc having to stoop, his bulk looking uncomfortably squashed in the cockpit.

Flicking the radio to life Logan made a call to the school, Ororo answered. The relief visible in her voice as they made arrangements for her to come and pick them up, she’d be about ten minutes with Kurt to help her. Flicking it off he turned to the huge bulk sat uncomfortably in the seat across from him.
“So what’s your story?”

The large amber eyes turned their stare into his own, looking for a trace of humour, of deceit, or mockery. They found nothing but curiosity, the animal beneath extending all its senses, remembering the scent mark of the new member, the look of the silhouette, the shape of the mind and the reactions he could expect from it. Logan could feel the same weighing up, the look of curiosity, obviously he knew something about him but he wanted to start the ball rolling.

Clearing his throat the Doc started, “Dr Hank McCoy at your service,” extending a large paw toward him. Taking it firmly he shook hands with him, “Logan. Cyc probably told you a bit about me, all bad probably.”
“No he hasn’t told me anything about you, all he did tell me was about the facilities at the school and the Professor. He mentioned the students and their educational needs, are you a teacher?” A huge grin spread across his face.
“Yeah you could say that, I keep the peace you could say. I teach them self defence and tactics, security.”

He watched as Hank reassessed him, seeing the process move across his face, mentally down shifting him. “I may not be great on books but my senses never lie, there’s more to life being a mutant today than knowing how many atoms there are in something.” Watching as Hank was about to ask him which object, was it solid or gaseous, frozen or liquid. Smiling he knew he’d got the measure of him for now, a born teacher, someone the kids would love to argue with. No wonder Xavier had sent Scott to pick him up. Looking out of the window of the jet he could see the reflection of the blue lights of the police and fire service.

Turning back to Hank he spoke, “What happened in there? Where did the F.O.H fit in with your lab?” At the mention of their name Hank’s eyes narrowed and his frame tightened up, noticing the change in his body the animal made itself ready for attack.
“Nothing, they had nothing to do with my research. Unknown to me the head of the facility was a member, he’d been collecting copies of my data and sending them to Washington. To god knows who or what department.” Anger started to show in Hank’s voice and frame he could feel the tension level rise in the jet. Watching as McCoy fought to control the anger, pushing it down, turning it into the control he needed. Turning his amber eyes to his, “I didn’t know what they were doing with my research until it was too late for me to stop it. They have my database of volunteers, the families with the mutant gene, the male carriers. I found that they’d been using my list to chemically sterilise them, thats why I contacted the Professor. He’d been present at my last public symposium and had approached me about funding further research into the mutant gene problem. When I found out I had to find someone with enough political strength and resources to help, the Professor was the first person who came to mind.”

The implications of what he’d said sank in, they were sterilising men who were the carriers of the mutant gene. But according to Xavier that was almost a third of the population, any man could carry the gene. His look must have given away what he was thinking because Hank spoke. “Yes I know, almost a third of men carry the mutant gene. They couldn’t possibly treat everyone, but if you could research the family lines.” Hank left the sentence hanging in the air, the implication heavy and unspoken.

Inside he knew why Stryker had been interested in this place now, why he’d wanted the place shut away from prying eyes. Bringing people in from all over the country, telling them that they had a rare problem that they could fix with one injection. Most people trust what the medical profession tells them, accept without question because they’re doctors. Feeling his knuckles beneath his gloves and the ridges of skin there, he knew the price of acceptance, of ignorance and it was too high. Looking out at the blue lights reflecting he hoped that they’d find the evidence and blow it wide open, although he doubted it would ever come to light.

******************************************************

Ororo arrived with Kurt a few minutes later, watching as Hank’s eyes widened at the sight of Kurt, assessing, measuring, detailing every movement he made. Something about the gaze troubled Logan, the cool indifference of his mind as it calculated the mutations needed to produce Kurt. Turning away from the cockpit he decided to go and sit with Bobby, at least he wouldn’t have to look at those eyes again. A memory fired in his head, a pair of eyes doing the same calculation, noting every detail, every piece of muscle, every sinew, every piece of him. No, he decided to give their new teacher a wide berth. Hank smelled okay but there was something he wasn’t saying, but he’d find out eventually.

Bobby was awake when he sat down, his eye swollen and already turning purple. The scent of witch hazel ripe in his nose, he smiled at the bright blue chip that pierced his gaze. “So what happened? I told you to keep out of trouble.” Bobby shifted in his seat, wincing as he moved bruised ribs.
“I followed the junk trail to the labs,” he unzipped his suit and pulled out two pieces of paper. “I was picking these up from a file when I was jumped. Well kicked really.” He winced as he remembered the force that sent him flying down the corridor. Taking the papers he saw his own name on the top ‘James Logan’. Looking at the sheets, eyes scanning the information, alluding to a family which have the same genetic markers as he had. That he could have family somewhere, not close family but family none the less. Holding the sheets in his hands he could feel Bobby’s eyes on him, watching for a reaction, hoping that he’d done something right.

“I know it isn’t much but maybe the Professor can try to track them down. You never know we might be related.” Bobby’s face was uncertain, his scent sour with trepidation. Had he upset him? Had he pushed a button too far? Looking into Bobby’s eyes he smiled. Folding the papers he tucked them back into his suit, “Why don’t you find out, you know I haven’t got the patience. Even if we aren’t we might find out a bit more about who I am and where I come from.” Watching as Bobby’s eyes widened as he realised the significance of the task he’d given him, the weapon he’d handed to him, one that could destroy him utterly, his past.

“I’ll try to find out as much as I can but it’s only a page of gene markers. I never got the chance to pick up the rest of the file. I was being used as a hockey puck at the time.” Watching as Bobby struggled to find a way to say thank you, a way to show him that he’d do his best to find out as much as he could.
“So what did you hear about the big guy?” Bobby moved his head and caught the bulk of Hank sat in the cockpit.
“Yeah they seemed very reluctant to do anything with him, I know they were going to take him upstairs after they’d shaved him. Maybe they were going to transport him with the car?” Scratching his face he looked at Ororo talking to Hank, watching as she laughed and touched the almost black fur that covered his body. Not noticing Kurt’s eyes as they traced her every touch, there could be trouble there.

“Maybe, but it seemed odd that he was there alone. Did you find out anything about the dorm on level six?” Bobby nodded.
“Yeah when they thought they’d put me out one of them asked should I be put back in the ward. They must have thought I came from upstairs, missed as they’d cleared the floor. They didn’t really know what to do with me so they were going to leave me down there, as well as Cyclops.”

The cold tone in his voice got his attention, the cold hint of indifference had crept in. As if he hadn’t mattered, that dying wasn’t something to worry about, that only his vengeance was. He caught the coldness in his eyes and decided to move him away from the subject.
“You did pretty good for a first time out, your still alive and you played possum to get more information. The first time I went out I got shot. I found out the hard way that I could heal real fast. Although I never made the same mistake again.” Bobby’s eyes found his and he could see the lesson sinking in, never approach alone. Wait or go back for help, don’t put your life at risk, not for any amount of information. Putting his hand on Bobby’s shoulder he sank and relaxed into his seat, feeling the jet move into the air, taking them home.

Closing his eyes as the sensation of weightlessness took all the tiredness from him, sending him a vision of Marie rushing to greet him. He’d survived again, another death avoided but another body count to balance it. He’d be glad when he could wash the blood from his skin, sometimes it felt as if he’d never come clean.

*******************************************************

Xavier was waiting with Cyclops when they touched down, their respective faces glad but tinged with something. Helping Bobby down the ramp seeing the look they gave the young x-man, he knew then what had happened. The sniper was dead. Deciding not to say anything he helped Bobby to the infirmary, passing the twin gazes of his tutors watching them re-evaluate him. Deciding that he’d get in first with Bobby, helping him to sit in a wheelchair he wheeled him toward the infirmary.
Leaving Xavier to greet his new teacher, listening to the small talk and strained tone of relief that they were safe. Looking down at the blond head underneath his chin, he wondered if they had enough to deal with already.

The doors opened quietly to the infirmary it’s softly lit the walls seemed to glow slightly to him, he’d woken up in this room too often for it not to be like a second bedroom. The tech was away doing something in another part of the complex, parking Bobby next to a bed he walked over and threw open the soft cover and motioned to him to get on it. Stiff and jerky Bobby moved onto the raised bed and began to remove the leather suit that had kept his ribs stable. “I’ll be back in a minute.” Walking away from him he looked around the corner and saw the corpse, wrapped up in a sheet he could smell the decay from where he was. It was something you never forget, the smell of a body.

Walking over he pulled the sheet away, the body naked under the sheet. A black bruise expanded from his midsection and threadwormed over his skin, an almost blue black mark was centred on his stomach. Bobby’s punch had wrought much more damage than he’d thought. Putting his fingers on the flesh he felt it give under them, it felt like a water balloon. Slick oil pushed up out of the skin as he put his gloved fingers on it, the smell recognisable instantly. The man’s own scent, Bobby had destroyed his skin completely and the tissues beneath it, frostbite in seconds then the slow death of being thawed out. As he scanned the corpse he wondered if he should’ve killed him when he’d had the chance, he’d never suffered from it but he’d seen many people die from frostbite over his time. It’s not a good way to go and Bobby could just reach out and do it anytime he liked.

Pulling the sheet back over he returned to him, seeing his wounds for the first time without the suits covering. A purple area covered his torso and back, a shoe print was visible on his skin, the ridges defined and raised. Taking a mental note of it he looked Bobby over, apart from the bruises he seemed to be in good shape. Time for him to face what he’d caused.
“Bobby, the guy we brought back,” he paused allowing him to get curious. He watched as Bobby reacted to the bait.
“Yeah, is he down here? Have you seen him? Is he awake yet? Has Cyclops managed to get anything out of him yet?” The bruises on his face making his speech a little stilted.

“He’s dead.” Watching as the information slid in, the man he’d chased after and stopped was dead. “He died from frostbite.” Bobby’s eye’s widened as he realised what had caused the man’s death. Opening his mouth to speak, “Before you start let me say something. You did what you thought was necessary to stop him, you let go of the control over them. That’s what killed him, not your powers. The control you lost killed him, nothing else.” He looked into the blue of his eyes and saw the ice melt inside. “Come on, you need to see him.”

Bobby stiffened up on the bed, hands gripping the edges of it, frost particles prickling out onto the fabric. He smelled his fear and growled. “If you're willing to kill a man, you’d better be willing to see the body afterward. Now get off that bed before I pull you off!” Squaring his shoulders to the bed he gripped the edge and made ready to throw it over with Bobby in it. Seeing the look in Logan's eyes and the animal just beneath the surface, watching him as the blood raced around his body, tense ready for a fight if need be.

Bobby slid off the edge and his bare feet slapped on the cool floor, putting his arm around Bobby’s shoulder he walked him round the corner. The smell of rotten skin was ripe in the air and hung in a curtain around the corpse. He could see him start to breathe through his mouth, the only thing that would do would leave a greasy feel to his mouth that would take hours to clear. Moving to the other side of the gurney folding his arms he nodded to the sheet. Bobby was pale, sweating and he wasn’t sure if he was going to hold his stomach together. “Take it off.”

Bobby looked at the sheet as if it were covered in cobra’s, his eye’s looked deep into his begging him to touch the sheet. “I’m not doing it, you killed him by losing control. This is how you get it back, where you see what happens when you do. People die and that’s not a pretty sight. If you lose *control*, people *die*.” Logan pointed to the sheet, “Now take it off before I *make* you do it.”
Fear bloomed in his eyes and his hand gripped the edge of the sheet. “All the way off Bobby, so you can see where you hit him.” Slowly he moved the sheet back over the body, revealing the damage wrought on the man’s body. Watching his eyes as they scanned the pale flesh, looking at the black traces of veins and arteries that had frozen and blocked. Revealing the large fist imprint on the midsection and the liquid look it had, bloated and almost over ripe.

Bobby’s fear and hatred of himself, of what he could do shone out. Tasting the fear in the air moved round to his side and pulled the sheet back over the body. “Do you understand what killed him?” Bobby just nodded, tears already falling from him. “You did what you had to, you just forgot that *personal* isn’t as important as *why*. You let anger get in the way and you lost it, it’s okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them.” Logan pulled Bobby round to look into him, the young eyes were full of pain and guilt, the death weighed heavy on him. He’d killed someone, he hadn’t thought about it when he’d done it. All he’d thought was that he’d deserved it, he’d tried to kill Rogue, tried to kill others who meant something to him. Watching the confusion run across his face, the pain in his eyes, feeling torn between his own anger and the loss of a life.

Pulling Bobby toward him he wrapped his arms round him, holding him. “It’s okay.” Bobby sobbed quietly into his shoulder as he spoke. “You never forget Bobby, you just don’t make the same mistake again. Revenge ain’t great is it?” His head moved slightly against him, moving back from him a little he looked into his eyes and saw the kid he knew surface again.
“We start training next week. Outside where if we have any accidents with ice it doesn’t really matter. I don’t think we need to see the Professor sliding down the corridors do we?” A quick flash of a smile erupted from Bobby, like the sun after a storm. “Come on lets find that medic and get you patched up properly.”

Moving him away from the gurney and back to his bed he wondered if he’d softened that wall between them. Marie was still waiting upstairs, he could feel her trepidation, her fear. After he’d settled Bobby he would go and find her, suddenly needing her arms around him to bring back some of his own warmth. Bobby shuffled back onto the bed and tucked himself back in, eyes a little red from crying but he could see a new understanding in them. That fighting wasn’t easy when you had a conscience, you do enough to keep yourself and those you love alive. Nothing more.

Patting Bobby on the shoulder and walked away as the medic walked up, before he left he turned back. “If you want any company, I’ll be on patrol later. Just so you know.” Seeing the relief flood over his face as he spoke, maybe it was time for another introduction. A nice one, involving an old bottle and two glasses. Smiling he left the infirmary, images of Marie playing on his mind.

Finding Marie in the kitchen, sat brooding over a mug of coffee. Damask next to her quiet and contemplative. Both of them looked up at him at exactly the same moment, the sparkle in their gaze making him feel warm. Uncurling from her seat Marie opened her arms and he filled the space eagerly, Damask smiled and quietly slipped out of the room. Lightly touching his back, sending a shiver through him she left, leaving them together. Feeling Marie’s hands rove over the leather trying to find a hole, a cut, anything to show he’d been hurt.

Finding nothing she spoke, “How’s Bobby?” He knew she knew about the body in the infirmary, she hadn’t seen it but she knew. Bringing her closer to him he hugged her tightly against him, smelling the freshness of her hair and feeling his need for her rise. “He’ll be okay. It’s never as easy as people think it is. I’m just glad we got him back alive.”

She snuggled into his chest making him hard, “I’m just glad you came back alive.” Moving himself a little, Logan looked into her face and she saw his need for her, the spark in his gaze. She moved her chin upward to meet his lips as they moved to hers, he needed her. To feel alive again, to know he was still capable of feeling anything but death’s cold grip. Meeting his kiss she sighed and wound herself around him, enjoying the sensation of his mouth against hers. Concentrating on keeping her powers turned down, breaking away when she felt the control on them beginning to slip from her grasp. “I’m sorry Logan, I can’t control it completely. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Her voice deep and breathless, fanning his desire even further. Seeing the animal rise in his eyes, felt as his grip on her body tightened, pulling her hips toward his already straining erection. Bending to her neck, brushing aside her hair biting into the pale soft flesh revealed to him. Gently pulling the skin until he felt the start of her power, feeling the pull of her, filling his need to be consumed by her completely, to lose himself in her entirely. Gasping she pulled away, hips still together she could feel his desire, his need for her touch across his skin. Her mind full of him and what he wanted to do right now in the kitchen, no matter who was around or not. He just wanted her, right now. The animal was having its way and inside he knew she was excited by it, wanted to feel its passion run across her body.

A new scent drifted toward the kitchen and he quickly moved away from Marie, standing next to her as the Professor wheeled in quietly with their new addition to the faculty. Meeting Xavier’s gaze as he wheeled over to them both, feeling Xavier’s inward smile as he saw the flush on Rogues cheeks. He continued his running commentary about the school as they passed through the kitchen, telling Hank about the school and its policies on diet.

Logan watched Hank as he passed them, watching his pupils dilate as he caught Rogues aroused scent. The moment passed quickly and he noted that his senses weren’t as sharp as they looked. Marie seemed intrigued by the new visitor and slightly scared by his large frame, a memory surfaced in her mind flashing itself across his also. Sabretooth above her, all teeth and fur, his dark eyes full of desire, not for sex but for violence. Pulling her to him, his comforting grip dislodging the memory and bringing her back to the here and now.

Xavier had reached the other door and was about to leave when he turned to him, “Logan could you spare us a few moments please? There are a few things we need to discuss about today’s mission.” He felt a thought come with the voice
Squeezing Marie he answered. “Sure I’ll be with you in a minute.” He caught the amber gaze of Hank and the jealousy that rose in his gaze was evident to his acute senses. Looking away he followed Xavier, listening to the continued commentary.

When they’d left he pulled Marie close again, planting his lips firmly on hers, tongue racing through her mouth. Feeling and tasting her as he ground himself into her clothed hips, hearing her moan with pleasure at his strength and grip on her. Pulling away as he felt the first tugs of her gift he left her holding the countertop, skin flushed and eyes burning with need. “See you later?” A question that didn’t need an answer, she’d find him later and they’d finish what he’d started. He could bet on it, smiling he left the kitchen, still tasting her on his lips.

*******************************************************

When he walked into the office he caught the strained edge of Xavier’s voice, taking a quick look around the room he saw that most of the security team were here as well as the rest of the faculty. Sliding into a seat he allowed the rest of the conversation to wash over him.
“The whole point of having training is that we won’t have another problem like we do in the infirmary. Bobby has control of his powers yes, but not in highly emotional situations. We can’t risk the students having to defend themselves without some knowledge of their limits.”

Xavier was trying his best to remain even-voiced but he was beginning to raise its tone. “Scott we have to be realistic about this. I don’t want any of them to come to harm but we need to train them how to defend themselves and if need be,” he struggled with the word. “Kill.” Scott turned to him, his face full of anger and barely suppressed rage. The red welts on his skin even more vivid against the black of his visor. Turning to Logan Scott ground his words out, “I suppose you’re in favour of this decision?”

Looking at Scott’s already red face and the pale knuckles he was ready to fight, Ororo put her hand on his shoulder and he could see the tension ease out of him a little.
“First of all, could you tell me what is being decided here? If it’s about training the older students then it’s about time.”

Scott pushed himself back into the soft sofa, all posture lost in his exasperation. The action riled him, as if he was dismissing what he had to say even before he had time to say it. Discounting his experience, Bobby’s experience too. The rolling eye sweep of Scott enraged him and it took all his self-control to keep the blades from popping out of his hands and into Scott’s smugness. It took a few moments but Xavier spoke and confirmed that yes that was what they were talking about. They needed his judgement on whether he believed the students could be trained and how he would go about it. He noticed Hank watching him, eyes narrowed and almost calculating an assessment of his reactions. The amber stare made his skin crawl and his voice sounded almost like a snarl.

“First things first, we need to get the students to understand that losing control of their powers isn’t an option.” Scott gave him a skewed glance as if to say ‘this is coming from Mr Restraint here?’ He ignored it and continued to speak in the quiet room. “Bobby is going to need help after this Prof, he hasn’t taken it well and there’s something else going on under the surface. Something he’s been hiding from us, don’t ask me why, I just know that there’s something there. Something wrong.” Pushing out of his seat walking to the window he saw the confusion cross Xavier’s face. Turning to Xavier he continued. “Bobby was one of the more stable kids here, if he has stuff going on inside that he’s managed to hide from you, from all of us; then there’s something wrong here. Something we’re not seeing.”

The concern in Xavier’s eyes almost made his heart break for him, at that moment he’d looked as if he’d just lost Jean again, another student lost to him by his inattention. Logan reached out and touched Xaviers shoulder, everyone lost in the significance of what he’d said. Bobby had been the most stable, most reliable, most humorous of the older pupils. Xavier had thought he’d been capable of tackling a small mission and had been proved wrong by a death at Bobby’s own hands. Hank chose this moment to speak to the gathered group around him.

“If there is a state of tension around the older students, maybe it would be a good idea for them to actually do some physically challenging exercises. Like a war game for example? Professor you said that the grounds here are extensive and cover many different terrain’s? Maybe some actual practice runs would do them some good? You described yourself how long it took for the school to settle down after the attempt on your life.” Scott gave a piercing look in Hank's direction and kept his mouth in a tight thin line. “Maybe Logan wouldn’t be adverse to training all of the older students in the basics of self defence, then moving onto the greater challenge of actual combat. But doing it here in the actual grounds of the school, many academies have their own assault courses and play war games. Maybe we can introduce an incentive for the dorms to compete?”

The stunned silence echoed around the room, it was so simple it had been obvious to them all the time. They didn’t feel safe anymore, the students needed to know they could fight if they had to. That was why Bobby had seemed so wound, so uptight, he wanted to prove he could fight. He'd wanted to fight the night the soldiers came but he’d had to run and that had hurt him deeply. That was the reason he’d been so nervous, so afraid to make a mistake, he’d seen it as a chance to prove his skills, to show him that he could stand when he needed to but he’d almost been killed in the attempt.

******************************************************

After the realisation had spread through the faculty it had been agreed upon that the last few weeks of the year would be taken up with planning and building the assault course. Ororo would help to stabilise the weather and Kurt would help with the moving of the large pieces of timber that would be needed. Scott and himself could do the cutting in the woods, maybe making that a challenge. See whose team could pull the most down the hills behind the school. A thought sneaked into his mind, maybe he could build a little home out there too. Using the logs that were too small for the course, it’d be nice to have a place out in the woods again. He could use it for the survival course, it helped to have a permanent place out there but there was also the bonus of if he needed time alone he could just camp out there for a while. He’d be close enough to Xavier and the school for him to be back within five minutes if he was needed.

The meeting carried on into the evening, the first patrol went on duty and had returned before they’d finished detailing the next few months in his life. He was going to be very busy, organising the older students into work parties and teams. Rotating everyone so they all had shot at being boss and being a worker, nothing like it for bringing you down to earth when you knew that next week you’d be the one digging the trench, not telling others to do it.

The clock had moved around to ten when they finally all left Xavier’s office. He’d waited around to talk to Xavier, he’d wanted to ask him something, something about their new addition. Clutching his new schedule in hand he turned to Xavier, who was busy re-ordering the budget to fit the new equipment that would be needed into it. He knew he was there, he was just waiting for him to acknowledge his presence. After a minute or so he looked up from the papers in front of him, his eyes regaining some of the sparkle he’d first seen in there when he’d first met him. “What do you want to talk about Logan?” His tone was playful, almost goading as if he knew what was bothering him. Sitting on the edge of the desk he looked at the sheaf of paper in his hand.

“You haven’t left me much free time here Xavier, think I’m going to run off again?” The image of Xavier wavered in front of him, as if he was behind a wall of heat. Blinking furiously he wiped his eyes and looked again at Xavier. Pushing himself away from the desk he turned to face Xavier fully, revealing his small frame, almost lost in the chair. His lower limbs were almost wasted and he could see the discomfort he was in just sitting there. Xavier saw his reaction and the scene wavered again, this time solidifying on his true image.

“How long have you been hiding this?” Racking his mind to try and find an image of him in between, of the onset of this illness and he knew he wouldn’t find it. He knew how he’d been doing it, he’d been projecting his healthy shape in their minds, it had been what they’d expected to see so it was what they’d seen. He cocked his head toward him and he reached for the internal phone, snatching it out of Xavier’s reach. He dialled Scott’s room and got an immediate answer.

“What is it now?” he sounded grumpy and annoyed, just how he liked him but this wasn’t about him, it was about the man who’d provided him with a home and a purpose.
“Get down here Cyc, there’s something you should see.” He could hear the cogs going round in Cyc’s head, if he was on the internal phone he had to be in the office. If he was in the office still there was something else he needed to know. “I’ll be down as soon as I’m dressed.” Smiling to himself he replaced the receiver and saw the annoyance burning from Xavier.

“You know I’m doing this for your own good. That’s why you wanted me here because you knew I’d do this. Some part of you knows this and took the rug out from the rest of you.” Smiling he put his hand on the older mans shoulder and felt the touch of Xavier’s mind on his. It’s touch gentle and appreciative, a tiredness that could be allowed to be shown leeched from him and into his own metal clad bones, making him feel even heavier. But it was nothing to the burden that Xavier seemed to have been carrying. “You're welcome, I suppose I’ll have to put up with not knowing about Hank for a while.”

The door opened and Scott stood there dressed in his pj’s, red silk with white piping. For a moment all he could do was stare at him, until he gave him that ‘You should judge’ look. Waving Scott in he went behind the desk and pulled Xavier’s chair from its cover. The shock told on his face and he made to speak but he got in first. “Xavier needs some rest, away from here for a while.” He could feel him about to argue with him but he was so tired he couldn’t even raise a finger never mind a hand. “Any ideas?” Scott bent down looking at Xavier’s tired form and the guilt for not seeing it sooner echoed through him. He smelled the change in his scent and decided to step in. “Bobby wasn’t the only one hiding stuff from us all, was he?”

Logan turned his head toward Xavier and Scott and sighed heavily.
“There was so much to do, so many things to organise. The new information from Hank makes our position even more precarious, the F.O.H is gaining popularity and we’re going to need all the strength we have just to stay afloat here. I’ve just been overworking myself that’s all.”
Scott looked at Xavier and shook his head, “This isn’t just overwork Xavier and we both know it. You need time away from us all here. You need to get away for a while, time to rest, time to heal.” Xavier settled back into the cushion of his chair as he realised that he wouldn’t make any headway with either of them. He was going to be away from the school for the winter, all of it. Ororo could keep him updated on events every day if need be but he needed rest.

It took them two hours to get him packed and ready to go, he was going to spend the holidays on Muir Island. A research facility set up for the understanding of mutant powers and abilities, it was also miles from anywhere and only accessible by plane. He watched Scott take Xavier into the deep blue black winter sky, out over the horizon and into a more peaceful place, a place he could recover and regain his health. Just like he had when he’d arrived here. Blowing cigar smoke into the crisp air he wondered if Marie was still awake.

********************************************************

Walking to his bedroom to collect the bottle he’d promised himself to introduce to Bobby he found the door already unlocked, scenting the air inside he could smell Marie. Opening the door fully he saw her asleep in his bed, dressed in his old flannel work shirt, cuffs held under her nose so she could breathe him in as she slept. The sight of her made his heart ache just watching her sleep, closing the door quietly he crossed over to the bed and knelt down in front of her. Watching, as her senses realised she was no longer alone in the room, after a couple of minutes her eyes opened. Looking into her green eyes and seeing the fire he’d banked in them rekindle with his presence, stretching out her arms toward him and snaring him in her embrace. Smiling he allowed her to pull him toward her body, hands roving over her covered form tracing her shape and feeling her warmth.
“Hey,” her voice was full of sleep even though her eyes were awake and devouring his features as if burning them into her memory. Touching her arm, fingers tracing the muscle he found there watching as her pupils dilated as his fingers moved over the cloth. Sensing her arousal at his most simple touch of her.

“Hey yourself, how did you get in here? I thought I’d locked the door this morning.” A smile crept across her face, fanning the desire he felt for her.
“Ah now that would be telling wouldn’t it. Besides I thought you asked me here, you did want to be found didn’t you?” She moved across the bed towards him, hearing the sheets move across her skin, sending her scent blossoming out of the bed. Mixing with his own, making him sweat under his shirt, watching her eyes as she caught the scent and moved closer. Kissing her lightly he wrapped her arms back up in the bed catching her look of disappointment as it crossed her eyes. He watched as the emotions crossed her face, from hurt to confusion, to anger. Brushing a stray piece of hair form her eyes he kissed her again, relishing the softness under his own lips. Tasting her sweetness, making him ache for her.

“I’ve got to finish something first. I’ll be back soon and we can finish what we started.” A wolfish smile covered his face, “Besides it’ll make it taste better, some things are worth waiting for.” Understanding she slipped the covers away and he could see her laid out in the warm bed, moving her legs so he caught a scent of her, sensing her heat and her need for him. Catching the look in his eyes she laughed. “You look hungry,” his eyes roved over her body until she flipped the covers over, cutting off his enjoyment. Growling at the back of his throat he got up and walked to the door, repositioning the erection that strained painfully at his trousers. “Just wake me up when you get back,” turning he saw her snuggle down into his bed and turn her back to the door.
“Darlin’ when I get back, you won’t be sleeping.” He heard her smile and felt her emotion’s rise as he opened the door.
“Promise?”
Remembering another moment like this one he sent the memory to her, both of them on a train, talking about the school and whether she should go back. He’d told her that he’d look after her, care for her, not knowing that even then she’d already captured him. “Promise.” Feeling her mind settle down into sleep, he left the room carrying his liquid friend with him. Time to go see if someone else was sleeping soundly.

******************************************************

The medical bay was quiet when he walked in, the lights were dimmed and the only sounds were the gentle hum of the medical fridge’s. He’d been in here so often he knew the routine of the small fridge’s each one timed to run a certain amount of time to keep the temperature at a constant. Walking over to Bobby’s bed he found him awake, sat up and reading with the small lamp attached to the bed. A textbook on Biology, the cover battered and torn. His blond head half obscured by it as he searched the text on the page. Coughing lightly, watching as he realised that he was there, seeing him almost blush as he realised he’d been caught studying when he should have been resting.

“Catching up?” The question was light, an opener to see how he was feeling.
“Cyclops has asked me to take his class tomorrow morning. It’s only about the basics of biology, the different subclasses of fauna and the ecology of the local area. He’s away so someone has to step in, Storm’s doing his afternoon class.”
“I thought classes were going to be suspended for a while?”
“Cyclops thinks we need to keep up with some aspects of the courses, especially the older students, so I’m doing some extra.”
Putting the bottle down on the bed he picked up the textbook and looked at the section he was expected to teach tomorrow. Basic ecology and biology, the classification of animals and plants, something the kids could learn in half an hour of outdoor practice instead of two hours inside. Grunting at the amount of wasted effort he threw the book down and reached for the small glass on the bedside cabinet.

“Time for you to meet a friend of mine,” turning the glass in his hand as he reached for the bottle. Watching Bobby’s nerves fire as he poured the amber liquid from the small bottle into the glass, its rich aroma flooding into the sterile room. Offering the glass to Bobby he saw his hands twitch nervously, wondering if he should. “Look at it this way, it’ll help you sleep if nothing else.” Seeing the relief flooding his eyes as Logan spoke Bobby took the offered glass, lifting it to his nose and smelling the warm spicy sharpness that met it. “Go slow with it, it’s an old one. One of the best, don’t know where old Charles got it but it’s welcome on cold nights and lonely ones too.” Mentally reminding himself of who was waiting for him upstairs at the moment and that lonely nights may be a thing of the past. Watching as Bobby tasted the liquid in his glass, seeing it move through him, relaxing his face, easing the pain in his frame. “Get any sleep yet?” Bobby shot him a glance he’d hit a nerve then. “Want to talk about it?”

Nervous Bobby took another sip and spoke. “I was in the building again, alone this time. I was running to something but I couldn’t see what. I just felt..” he stumbled for the right word. “Alone, afraid I guess. My hands were itchy and I couldn’t scratch, they were locked up in something and I was trying to find a key to get them open. I ran into a huge room and ‘he’ was there.” Bobby’s eyes were remembering the sight, of its flesh, blackened and skin stretched taught over a distended stomach. “I tried to get away but I couldn’t stop myself. I got closer and it burst.” Tears began to fall onto the book, his knuckles white as he gripped the glass in his hands. “I killed him.” Bobby cried for a while, watching as the boy poured out all the guilt and hate he’d been feeling since seeing the man he’d killed. He let him get it all out, didn’t interrupt, didn’t say anything until he’d been quiet for about five minutes.

Bobby had aged in the hour he’d been down here with him. He was twenty but he looked thirty under the light here, new hollows and appeared in his face and in his eyes. Bobby looked up at him when he’d finally drained his glass, “Any chance of another?” Grunting displeasure he took the glass from his hands and put it back on the small bedside table.
“Nope, one should be enough for you bud, I don’t want Cyc coming down here and finding you dead to the world do I? I get in enough trouble with him already.” Bobby’s eyes were less haunted now, less afraid of himself and what he’d done. Inside he knew he’d need some more help from Xavier and Cyc but it would have to wait. He’d be there to do what he could but at the moment he needed sleep. Plucking the books from the bed he piled them to one side, held up the cover and motioned to Bobby to get down. Smiling he scooted down into the sheets, his features already drowsy from the 20 year old whiskey. “Night Logan, thanks for introducing me to a friend of yours. I hope I’ll meet them again sometime.”

Logan left the room and carried the bottle with him, Bobbt had learned a lesson about life but then so had he. Who knew that in six months he'd gone from running away from here to helping to run and protect the place? Although it helped that Marie was here and bringing his thoughts back to what was waiting for him upstairs Logan began to run.

Feeling his blood pressure rise as he thought about her asleep in his bed, remembering her scent on the sheets, feeling her curves under the soft shirt. Without him realising what he was doing, he ran back to his room, flying past windows, eating up the distance between them both. Eager to get back to her to feel her in his arms to feel her warmth against him, passing her old room he caught Damask’s scent. Making him hard instantly and slowing his pace as he caught her moans coming through the door. Scenting her excitement and the sounds of breathing he knew that she wasn’t alone, she’d found her lover, her protector and he was glad it wasn’t him. Feeling restricted in his clothes, their touch irritating his skin he moved onto his own room, where she was waiting for him. Catching his reflection he saw the animal surface and smiled at its familiar face.

Opening the door quietly he slipped into the room, the light from the window was enough to illuminate the scene in front of him. She was laid in and out of the sheets, her thigh wrapped over the knot of sheets. His nose full of her scent, her sex warm and sweet. Quickly removing all the clothes that had seemed so restrictive and painful a moment before he walked over to the bed. Seeing her naked skin move in his bed, watching as she shifted position sheets moving away from her body revealing more of her. A growl forced its way out of his throat and he saw her eyelids flutter, she’d heard him but she hadn’t woken.

Picking up the torn silk shirt his hands moved towards her body, using it as a shield; running the smooth silk over her skin, feeling his erection twitch as she moaned and moved under his hand. Letting his hand explore her warmth, while watching her writhe under his grip, scenting her excitement as it built. Hearing her mouth his name as she fought her way out of sleep and into the feelings that were building in her.

Ripping off a sleeve, fingers found her, the softness of the shirt mirrored by her own skin, watching as her back arched when he stroked her clit. Eyes opened by the soft pressure on her centre, finding him knelt over her naked, eyes ablaze with the need of her. Snaking her arms around his neck bringing him down to her mouth, losing herself in his kiss as his fingers worked on her through the silk. “Logan,” her voice was low and sleepy but mixed with sex making her already deep accent thicker, like molasses in winter. Sweet and dark just like her.

Growling he shifted himself so he was positioned over her, the animal shining out of him, making his movements jerky trying to keep it under control. Feeling his grip on her hips through the shirt, hard and tight, pulling her into position, barely containing himself. Moving her hips upward to him was all the consent the animal needed, letting himself go he lifted her hips toward his and plunged into her. Screwing her eyes shut she tried to concentrate on moving her gift away from her hips, from the body that was bringing so much pleasure to hers.

Heat and tight softness enveloped him as dove into her, letting the animal free, tasting her skin as he bit into her shoulder. Feeling blood well up into his mouth sending the animal into further frenzy, fucking her harder listening as she shouted his name as she clung onto his back. His own hands digging into the mattress under them, feeling her legs wrap around him bringing his crushing weight down on her. Smothering her completely with his own body, feeling her mind explode in his as she came, building his own excitement as she nipped his skin with her teeth. Settling on his neck, biting down as hard as she could, hearing him growl with pleasure as he sped up his own strokes as he neared his own climax. Licking the wound he’d made on her tasting copper, his tongue finding her mouth, mixing their tastes with each others. Fingers gripping the soft bed as he came, his claws firing into it as he peaked, back arched and body tense as he filled her with himself. Feeling her body receive all of him, every nerve, every fibre of him and still want more. Sharing minds for a moment he saw himself through her eyes, his body transformed into an animal and her desire for him to always be this way.

Pulling his claws back out he moved up and away from her skin, knowing how much it took to control her power. Marie lay there silent and smiling, her own hands running up and down her skin, making him wish he could touch her like that, without her having to concentrate on what she was doing. He knew it wouldn’t be long but it was too long right now and he let out a low growl making her understand how he felt. Smiling she opened her eyes and pierced him straight through with her gaze. “What’s wrong? You still hungry?” Her hands still moving over her naked skin, roving over her breasts, teasing the nipples hard watching as his eyes devoured her every movement.
“For you, always.” His voice thick and deep, the animal still in control wanting him to take her again, to flip her over and fuck her hard.

Watching as her fingers slid into her own warmth, making her body shudder with pleasure as she played with herself. Watching her skin flush as she brought herself to climax again, flooding the room with her scent destroying the last of his restraint; snarling he threw her over onto her knees. Pulling her hips towards his, winding his fingers in her hair tracing the malen streak that her touch with death had given her.

Supporting himself over her, so hardly any of her skin touched his, using the shirt to hold her stomach he entered her again. Hearing her moan as he stretched her open, feeling his balls brush against her lips, tightening his grip in her hair and pulling her head back toward his mouth. “You're mine, as long as you live, you're mine.” Feeling the animal within him speak its need, Marie bucked her hips backward making him grunt with pleasure. Going slow at first making each movement count, using the friction of his movements to excite her further. Holding her tightly under him as he arched himself over her, supporting himself with one hand dug into the bed. Feeling himself sliding deeper with each movement, falling into her warmth, held tight in her grip as he moved faster.

Hearing a rumble leaving his chest through his teeth, bestial almost as he slid into his rhythm, hearing her small whimpers as he pushed deeper into her. Her arms pushed her body up off the bed, supporting her weight freeing his silken hand. Sliding it down between her legs, feeling her body twitch with its softness as it reached her sex, touching her gently with silk fingers, watching as she flushed again. Scenting her explosion of pheromone as she climaxed again on his hand, feeling the waves of contractions on his erection making him growl from his balls.

Speeding up his own peak, her contractions around his shaft pleasurable beyond measure, finding himself trying to concentrate on something else, not to peak too soon. It was hopeless, she had him right where she wanted him and she knew it. Grinding her hips into his feeling her shift into the leader now, moving herself against him as he stayed still, allowing her to fuck him. Sensing his closeness she shifted her hips down allowing him deeper into her, his hand still playing with her clit, her own hands gripping the bed. Feeling himself rising he wound up a notch, pulling her head back as far as he dared, leaning his body over hers, her ear next to his mouth as he came into her.

Growling her name with the last of his breath, leaving him feeling empty but filled with warmth and hope with love for her. Supporting their combined weights he shifted her gently to the side, still inside her and feeling her gripping him tightly almost comforting in her intimate embrace. Gently running his fingertips down the skin of her back and watching her shudder and move, almost as slowly he withdrew from her and felt her longing for him to return, to feel the connection between them again. To feel complete, bonded, whole.

Using the silk as a glove tracing her soft rounded form feeling so unique, that she was his alone and he was hers. That nothing could break this bond between them, not now, not ever. Seeing her flesh begin to goose he pulled the old sheet over to keep her warm, her eyes meeting his as he brought the sheet up and over the wound he’d made. “Did I hurt you?” His fingers tracing the small bite mark on her shoulder through the sheet, fear clouding his own eyes as he thought about her reaction. Her gaze was steady clear, no fear, no shadows no doubts lay in their green depths.
“No you didn’t hurt me, you’d never hurt me.” Smiling at her words he hugged her body through the sheet, bringing her close to his weight and warmth, feeling her snuggle down into him making him smile as she kissed his chest lightly. “You were right though, sleeping isn’t possible when your around,” moving her hips into his as she snuggled down.
“Any more of that and I’ll call you wanton.” Laughing she answered.
“Yeah and your complaining?”
“No, just that it’s been a long day and twice is all your going to get for now. You’ll have to wait till later for more.”

He could hear her thinking, working out something, pondering. “Before you ask it was six and it was before you were born. That was a long time ago and I’m not sure I’d be upto it.”
“You sure?” As she wiggled her hips deeper into his and feeling his reaction to her.
“I’m tired Marie and you want the best of me don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Then let me get some sleep before I have to start work on the new course tomorrow.” Snuggling once, she settled against him. He could finally close his eyes without seeing her bent over in front of him. Maybe he could’ve just once more but she’d have been useless in the morning, too sore to move and a grin that even Cyc couldn’t have soured. Smiling he pulled her a little closer into his arms and drifted off to sleep, dreaming of her and a summer afternoon with nothing to do.

Two weeks had passed like a breeze, they’d shared each others beds for most of the time, or that’s how it had seemed to him. December was here and the first snows had yet to come down fully, the skies that had greeted him in the north had followed him home. Looking out at the grey mountains of cloud that towered over the school he wondered if the winter would be a hard one, but this time he had something to keep him warm. Marie.

The kids had started to leave for the holidays, sitting at breakfast watching the yellow school bus fill with borders whose families still wanted to see them, who still loved them no matter what their mutation. Looking around the dining room noticing the few kids that studiously avoided the scene in front of the windows, there were at least fifteen kids this year, more than last year if Ororo was to be relied on.

Marie had eaten her breakfast and gone by the time he’d made it into the room, a smile played at the edges of her mouth as she’d passed him in the hall. Purring as she’d passed him, watching his reaction to her obvious sexual advances. He’d had to concentrate on the jobs ahead of him when he’d walked into the hall, almost running into Colossus who was just leaving the dining hall.
The tall Russian had just blushed and moved aside for him, maybe he should get something done about the soundproofing in his room. He couldn’t keep avoiding the sound issue, although it hadn’t really mattered when he’d been in the middle of nowhere. The thought opened in his head as he forked bacon into his system, feeling as if he hadn’t eaten for a week. Mind you good sex always did that to him. Just as he was finishing Ororo walked over with his work sheet for the day scanning the page he found he was out on the slopes of the forest that day, clearing an area for the assault course.

“What do you want me to do with the logs?” Ororo looked as if he’d just asked her to make it snow indoors. He helped her out. “When the grounds cleared we’ll have a surplus of logs, what do you want me to do with them, any plans? Do you want them put to one side for spring? For the building of the assault course?” At last he saw some understanding shine through.
“No, I’ve already talked to the Professor we’ll be having a contractor coming in to build it. So what ever we have to clear we can leave in the forest to rot down.” At hearing the new details of the plans he wrinkled his nose at the waste of it.
“What? We’re just going to leave it to rot out there?” Looking again at the size of the course there’d be at least fifty good size trees coming down, enough to build a decent sized house. He decided to push his luck. “Any objections to me using it? The wood I mean, I’ve a need to get out from under people’s feet in here.”

Looking around the emptying dining room and outside at the rapidly filling school bus. “Might make use of it to make a little cabin for myself out in the woods. All this soft living is putting weight on me and I don’t need any more of that on these bones.” Ororo smiled as the truth sank into her mind, smiling she put a hand on his arm.
“I understand Logan, you need your space and I’m sure Xavier wouldn’t mind if you used the wood you clear out.” Moving her hand from his arm she caught his eye, “Maybe you should add a couple of extra rooms too, you never know it might come in useful for your survival classes.” Smiling she began to walk away, just before she left she turned back, “You really do have a nice growl Logan, pity we don’t hear it that often.” Grinning like a Cheshire cat she left him, blushing like a schoolboy who’d been caught masturbating. Deciding that work was better than this he shoved out of the seat and got moving, maybe work could take his mind off the nights events but he seriously doubted it.

********************************************************

The air was cold and fresh on his skin as he watched the school bus pull away out of the grounds, sending the students home for a few weeks of normalcy back in the world that feared and hated them. Walking over to the garage to pick up tools for the mornings work he heard the voices of Cyc and Hank, something was strained in Cyc’s tone and he could smell the annoyance from where he was. Rounding the corner he came upon the two men, Cyc was holding a set of keys close to his chest and was defending the large blue suv in the garage. Hank noticed him first and spoke, “Good morning Logan, I trust you slept well?” Searching for a hint of malice in his cultured tone, he replied when he found none.
“Yeah like a baby. What’s going on? Cyc?”

Scott turned to him and looked exasperated.
“Could you please explain our policy on the vehicles here to Dr McCoy.” He raised his eyebrows at the formality of the sentence, obviously he’d wound Cyc up more than he’d thought. Maybe he’d get to like the blue furball. Turning to face the Doctor he spoke.
“Well I use a vehicle whenever I can and always leave it gassed up afterward, let them know where I’m going and when I’m expected back. Although that hasn’t been the case with me, but those are the *rules*.” Scott smiled smugly at the frustrated doctor and watched as his large hands opened and closed. He could feel the air in the garage change, the doc was winding up and he obviously needed the suv for some reason but Cyc was being an asshole as usual.

“If you want to get out of here for a while you can come with me to the local hardware store, there’s some equipment I need to rent out for the day.” The relief that flooded his face was almost tangible as he walked upto Scott and put his hand out for the keys he held. “That is unless you want me to take down four acres of trees with nothing but my bare hands?” He slid out a few inches of blade and Scott looked at him through his ruby visor and found nothing but the truth gazing back at him. Reluctantly he handed over the keys to him and moved aside.
“Remember to gas it this time Logan, we need it back for the holiday shopping run. Ororo wants us to get everything as early as we can, there’s a snow front moving down from Canada. She doesn’t know if she can keep the thing away from us for the whole week.”

Waving as Cyc walked away back to his room to catch up on sleep. When he was out of view he faced the large bulk of Hank, “Okay where are we going?”
“You don’t need to go to the store?”
“Nope. So where can I take you? We don’t have much time so we’d better get going.” Pressing the automatic locking he opened the drivers door and got in. Hank eased himself into the passenger seat, taking up both of them. He seemed lost for words for a few moments as if he was making up his mind if he should reveal his true purpose for wanting the vehicle. Keeping his voice even and level he answered. “I need to check on someone, a technician who worked for me at the institute. She was,” he paused searching for the right word. “Injured before the raid and I want to check on her progress. She lives alone and her condition is somewhat reliant on someone being there. I just want to check that she’s doing all right. I didn’t want it to be an issue.” He could smell his uncertainty about sharing the information with him, that he still didn’t trust him. Well that was mutual, maybe he could find a little out about him too. Over the past two weeks he’d seen Hank taking classes, reading, teaching but it was something he was good at, he still hadn’t caught the big man off guard yet, or seen under his immaculate surface.

“Okay lets go, where are we going anyway?” he turned the engine on and felt the rumble under his feet as he pulled out of the garage and into the cool winter air. Noticing that the frost had come, picking out the last few dead roses on the bushes in the garden. Framing their crystalline beauty, reminding him of Jean, who would be laid under the frozen water of Alkali Lake. Pulling his attention back to the road in front of him, forcing the memory down and away. Blinking back the vision of Jean, feeling a need to fill the silence that had grown between them.

“So how was your night? Room good enough? Walls thick enough?” He left that opener for him, wondering if their nightly efforts had reached his room yet. Hank shifted in his seat, trying to make himself more comfortable. His annoyance spreading out in the scent that quickly filled the small interior, dressed in a large sweat suit he could have passed for normal from the rear but his eyes and furry face wouldn’t. Watching the large man settle down in the front seat he couldn’t help but get the image of a cat settling down to sleep from his mind. Inside he hoped he didn’t have the same tendencies to climb trees, that’d be a shock for the fire service.

******************************************************

Smiling as he pulled onto the main highway, stopping at the junction awaiting his orders from Hank.
“Go left. I need to get to Narraganset, Rhode Island.” They were all the directions he gave, leaving him feeling exposed and vulnerable by the lack of detail. Deciding that he wasn’t going to volunteer any more information just yet, he set the suv on the road into the weak morning sun.

About an hour into the trip they entered Rhode Island and Hank directed him to the place he wanted to go, his mood hadn’t improved with the placard signs they’d both noticed along the highway. The F.O.H had been out campaigning for the good of humanity again, the signs were bland and used the common denominator as their line, ‘Who’s teaching your kids?’ and ‘Do you really want a Mutant as President? They were the tame ones and seemed to be the ones that wound Hank as tight as a spring.

Keeping his cards close to his chest, Hank remained silent he directed with hand signals off the main road and into a small hamlet. The town was run down, almost dead when they pulled up to the small store. Hank spoke.
“This is a small community Logan, they know me here but they are afraid of strangers. So please let me do the talking.” Curious now he just nodded and watched as Hank pulled himself out of the suv. The smell that hit him as the door opened reminded him of somewhere he’d been before, somewhere familiar but he couldn’t remember exactly where. The air was crisp and the struggling trees had already shed the few scanty leaves they’d had. Pitted tarmac, cracked pavements and no sign of streetlights told him everything he needed to know. He had it confirmed when he heard the voice sounding out of the small store.

“You lost? There’s nothing here for people like you, we have nothing left; you took everything the last time you were here.” The voice was old, rich and mellow with a hint of sadness but still strong in spirit. The body that followed it would’ve been impressive in its youth but now it was old and broken sat in a beaten up old wheelchair. Skin weathered by nature, features proud and strong he still wore his native shirt and the bag of quills in his lap spoke volumes. Hank turned and the man’s face broke open into a smile.

“Hank, long time no see my friend. How has the white man been treating you?” Hank walked over to the man, his bulk obscuring him completely. The change that came over Hank was amazing, he softened his mood opening up to the old man. Deciding to hang back and let Hank introduce him, he listened to their exchange. The social niceties were ignored and they spoke about real things, the problems that they had for the coming winter. The local F.O.H coming and beating up the remaining young men here, police hounding them for hunting without permits again.

After a few minutes of catching up Hank moved and motioned to him. “This is Logan, he’s from the school I’m teaching at now, we’re only an hour away from you. So if you need help.” He left the sentence open for him and the old man nodded as he weighed him up.
“Logan is it?” There was something in his eyes that made his skin itch, as if he was looking under it, scanning what he found there and understanding it without question. “You’d better come in if your going to see her, she won’t be long she’s just gone out to the field.” Hank turned to him and waved him to follow him, several people had appeared from the small hovels that surrounded the store and watched them both enter.

Inside it smelled of old flour and cloth, the floorboards creaked ominously with their combined weight. A small counter with a few half-empty shelves sat next to an old iron stove, which barely heated the room. Hank sat on the floor next to the stove looking at the back door of the store a thing that didn’t pass the old mans attention. “Don’t worry Hank she’ll be pleased to see you. She always was wasn’t she? Why should it change now?” The look of sadness that filled Hanks eyes almost broke his heart when he saw its depth.
“A lot of things have changed Titus, especially me.” Moving his bulk, trying to make himself as small as he could in the room. The mixed scent of pain and disappointment filled the room, thickest around Hank and spreading out with the heat of the stove.

Titus turned to face him now.
“So why does a school need a warrior like you then?” Titus’s words hit home and he pulled no punches. He opened his mouth to answer when someone answered for him.
“Because they need men like him to defend people like me father,” Hank shot up off the floor at the sound of the voice. She was small, delicate, almost ethereal. She moved across the floor in certain quick steps and yet there was something wrong in the movement. Then he noticed it, her feet they were cloven like a deer, skin scarred in several places, one large one across her face which had cost her an eye and the sight in the other. She was a mutant, like him and Hank.

She put the wood down that she’d been collecting next to the stove and reached out for Hank. He backed away quickly and almost fell over himself in the rush to get away from her small hands. She touched him and he could see his fear at her reaction to her feeling his skin. He was disappointed. “Oh Hank is that you?” He could tell from her scent she knew who he was but this was their moment so he went outside to watch the birds picking the last few windblown seeds from the ruined macadam.

Titus followed him. “You have good work at this school? Work that keeps you happy?” He thought about the question.
“Yeah its good, hard physical labour sometimes but it’s not worth it if it’s easy.” Looking around at the dilapidated houses and the hopeless eyes all around he had an idea, looking at Titus he spoke. “Do you have a head man here?” The old man shrugged.
“I’m it as elders go, the rest gave up and moved away when the trouble started. We have problems with the police. No money, no food, no medicine when the children get sick, many moved away when the children were born with gifts. Many took it as a sign that we were being cursed by god but a few stayed faithful to the old way. That their children were special, chosen by the Spirit to do great things. Then the white men came and told them to give them into their care, convinced them that they were not normal and so had to be helped. Hank helped me to hide my daughter from them, they’ve been friends since.”

The story sank in he’d been here before. Not here, but a place much like it, up north, a small mining town, whose population hadn’t been mixed too often. So mutant births were becoming common, they’d asked for help from the government and they’d sent the scientists who’d tested the water, the food, the animals, everything. They ended up taking the children away to do further testing, nothing was heard from them ever again. He’d helped a family to get away to the south, to hide from the searching helicopters but the memory was hazy, confused. He’d be damned if he’d let this happen again.

“I need some help doing some forestry work at the school, do you know of anyone who’d be interested in it? I’ll need at least ten good men.” Titus looked at him square on, looking for the barb.
“What about women? They’re just as capable and strong, money is money and work is work. Give me a few minutes then I’ll let you know.” With that he wheeled off the small wooden porch toward the group of people who were talking amongst themselves. Even with the small amount of work ahead of him, he could ease the coming winter for them. There were deer aplenty on the grounds and it would do the herd some good if it thinned out for the winter. Otherwise they’d have starving deer coming down to the school and nothing was as sad as watching a deer trying to eat dead wood.

Watching as Titus spoke to the group bringing back three men and one woman, all of them were watching him closely. As if he’d try to trick them, get them to do something dangerous for a pittance. It had happened before why shouldn’t it happen again? Squaring off to face them all he waited for their questions. It was over quite quickly, price per hour, what the work entailed and duration, when he added the hunting rights for thirty deer the faces looked shocked, as if he’d just told them they were sweepstake winners. He gave them directions and the group went to get ready for work, at least he’d be finished before Christmas. Maybe he’d get his own house finished before New Year with help.

Smiling he went back to the suv and climbed inside, switching on the engine he waited for Hank to appear. Ten minutes later he walked over to the suv and climbed in without looking back once, he looked calm and serene. As if a burden had been lifted from him, looking at Hank he noticed a small plait behind his ear, interwoven with his own dark fur was a piece of brown hair. Smiling he caught his eye, “Ready to go home now?” Hank just nodded, his features calm and relaxed.

“What about your tools?” Looking at Titus as he swung the suv back out onto the highway he answered.
“Somehow I think it’s not going to be a problem, mind you Ororo is going to have quite a few dinner guests.” The realisation sank in and Hank smiled at the news.
“Thank you Logan, you didn’t have to do that.” Bristling a little at the compliment being aimed at him, he answered.
“Yeah well, I don’t want to be out there all winter freezing my ass off. If the school is willing to pay contractors who’ll do a half-assed job, we might as well pay someone who’ll do the job right the first time round. What they don’t know they’ll learn and maybe they’ll get more work, maybe start up their own business afterward. Helping is about helping them help themselves not being another hand out.”

He glanced over at Hank and wished he could wipe the grin off his face. Growling his displeasure as Hank laughed as he discovered his vulnerability.
“Don’t worry Logan, if Cyclops asks me who hired the workers I’ll say it was my idea. I won’t blow your image.”
“Yeah you do that.” He wondered all the way back to the school what had exactly happened back there in the store with the girl and Hank. He’d been snared by Marie when he’d least expected it and he’d seen the huge man brought low by a slip of a girl. Seen the depth of his pain when she’d touched him and it had been uncomfortable to watch. Not because it was none of his business but it had hurt to realise that that was how he’d been when he’d met Damask, hurting and wanting to go home. They drove back in silence, each of them going through the mornings events and wondering what the rest of the day held.

*****************************************************

That afternoon as the light began to fade from the east three trucks pulled up with at least twenty able bodied men and women, all ready to start work. He’d given Ororo a heads up when they’d returned from their little trip about the new help coming and she’d smiled as he’d laid out the new work plans now he knew he had extra help coming. They’d have the forest cleared and sorted by mid December, if everything went to plan. Hank had gone to class and was making headway into the winter classes for the borders.

He’d gotten started on the lower slope when he’d heard the noise of people coming, turning to watch them climb the slope he could smell the nerves from where he was. Looking them over he could see that he’d have to go slow for a while, they had to get back to full strength and there were a few drinkers too if his nose was right. Well he liked a drink as much as the next man but he’d have a sober workforce here, forestry and drink didn’t mix.

The group halted just in front of him and they stood there expectantly, a few faces regarded him with outright suspicion others just waited for the instructions of the day. This would take time, so he explained what was required of them, to be here at 8am when the sun was up. They’d work through to 1pm when they’d get a hot lunch, then they’d do the trimming work on the trees they’d brought down that morning. They’d be paid at the end of each day, which put a few smiles on faces and he explained that if he smelled alcohol on anyone they’d be going home that morning and they’d lose a days pay. The tools they’d brought were mainly hand axes and a few old lumber saws but they managed to get three trees down that afternoon and trim them. They were paid by Cyc in cash at the end of the day $75 each, enough to buy decent food, a new set of blankets and good boots for the next days work. They left smiling, he could tell that the work wasn’t to some of their liking but he knew at least half who’d come back tomorrow.

******************************************************

The work had come along slowly, each tree being dug out as it was felled. The workers had noticed the children and their mutations but hadn’t mentioned anything. One woman had been helped by Bobby who’d just smiled as he’d covered the logs underside with ice to make it easier to move. The bruises and cuts were healing on him and Logan felt the boy had grown up some since the death at his hands. He was still light hearted but there was an age in his eyes now, one that didn’t belong there but it was something they all had to face eventually. Looking at the nearly bare hillside the logs stacked up and ready to be moved, the workers had been prompt and worked like he did.

Everyday at lunch Hank would come out with Jubilee and they’d feed everyone with something warm. It was a good time, he had a purpose and he had Marie, there wasn’t much else he really needed. His eyes strayed to Scott who was talking to the foreman about the plans he’d drawn up for the construction in the new year. Scott still showed his pain occasionally, the haunted looks that he threw around the kitchen when the kids were playing around. As if he was still expecting to hear her voice chime in with everyone else’s. Logan had stopped holding Marie in front of him, yesterday he’d caught the look he’d given them both and the guilt he’d felt had washed out any comfort he’d gained from Marie. He'd told her then and she’d understood, her wishes for everyone to be comfortable not upsetting her own.

She’d kissed him then and the warmth he’d basked in made the day feel like midsummer in Florida, she loved him and trusted him and that was all he’d ever needed to know. Now the dark was coming and the workers were heading home, leaving him to look at the starlit sky and the snow covered ground. Thoughts of Marie filled his head and his eyes drifted to the kitchen where she was on duty tonight. Sighing he watched his breath plume in the cold, praying the stars would keep them safe.

Feeling tired and worn from doing the first week of hard work he’d done in months, stretching in the cool he could feel the gaze on him as he moved pulling the kinks out of his sore muscles. He caught the scent of roses and his head snapped round, the shadow was still there a thin subtle shape. A familiar scent was mixed in with it, the scent of Damask. What was she doing out here? The night was cold and she should be inside, deciding to find out for himself he walked over quietly to where she was. “Damask is that you?”

The shape moved away, slipping into the evergreens that ran around the grounds. Something was wrong, senses kicking in, hearing at least four people moving around in the darkening gloom. Scenting the air he could distinguish Bobby’s Damask’s Jubilee’s and Colossus, they were agitated, upset. Coming around the corner of evergreens, he confronted the foursome trying to sneak out of the garage with a car.

They were too busy trying to designate the driver to notice him come and sit on the bonnet of the car. Slowly pulling out a half-finished cigar he lit it and blew the cloud of smoke in the middle of them, Colossus froze, his voice stilled as his nose picked up the cigar. His eyes must have widened because Bobby just flicked his eyes sideways and saw him sat there. He paled at the sight of him and began to speak. “It’s nothing really to worry about Logan, we just wanted to go into town for a while that’s all. We all have presents to buy and we thought we’d get a head start on things. Ororo already knows about it.”

Damask and Jubilee looked at Logan and they both blushed. Damask was well wrapped up for the weather and Jubilee was wearing her usual yellow outfit, he often wondered how many outfits she actually had of that colour, it was all she ever seemed to wear. He didn’t speak, he just put his hand out for the keys and Bobby handed them back over. Sighing to himself he realised they’d never get far in that heap, especially if it snowed later and Damask wasn’t to be put in any sort of risk with the cold. He returned the keys to the board on the wall, picking up the large suv’s set and threw them over to Colossus, who caught them quickly. “I want you back by ten at the latest and *I* will come and find you if I need to.” His eyes bored into the young men in front of him. “And if I even catch a whiff of beer on anyone in the car when you get back I’ll bounce you to Cyc myself.”

The rules had been laid, they knew the consequences if they stepped out of line. Adding the threat of Cyclops was a bonus, no-one wanted the extra winter chores that he could pile on a breaker of 'The Rules'. Shovelling snow was no easy task here, especially as all the paths needed to kept clear and they ran across the whole grounds. He watched as Colossus pulled out of the garage and headed off toward the town and the mall. Damask waved her goodbye as she was whisked away to some new kind of heaven that had upto now only happened to other people. It never ceased to amaze him how much she had lost and how much these small things meant to her but he’d check with Ororo if the trip had been passed by her first.

*******************************************************

Walking back to the kitchen the familiar scent of Ororo drifted out to him, she was sat at the kitchen table talking to Marie. Watching the smiles that covered their faces as they went through the large list they held in front of them. Deciding to listen into their conversation for a while, to be a spectator in the lives of the schools most beautiful women. “We’ll have to get more everyday supplies in now that Hank has hired us a workforce. That’ll mean the market trips are going to be every two days and in the short term that’s okay but we’ll have to do the present shopping either before we go there or afterward.” He watched as Marie’s nose as it crinkled up at the prospect of doing Christmas shopping after a huge trawl round the market.

Ororo noticed and smiled at her expression, “So that’s a before then?” Laughing with Marie as they looked through the large list of groceries, he was about to walk in and join them when he heard Ororo say something that stopped him dead. “Have you told him yet?” Catching the change of scent in the kitchen, he pulled further away from their view, hiding in the doorway.
“No I haven’t told him yet. I just wanted us to have some time together first but with all the construction going on, I don’t know when I’m going to have time. We don’t tend to talk much when were together.” Ororo smiled as Marie blushed. “We leave tomorrow and Kitty’s parents didn’t have to invite me but it’s my chance at a family Christmas. Not that I don’t think that you all here are my family it’s just that, oh I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it, just that I need to do all the dumb stuff you do at Christmas and I don’t think Logan is the type that enjoys Christmas.”
“Have you asked him?”

The silence was almost unbearable, inside he wanted to bolt out into the dark, into the cold. Anything to numb the pain that was slicing him in two, she didn’t want to be here with him, she wanted to be with a 'family'. The animal howled and raged, how dare she do this, didn’t she understand? Didn’t she know how much he needed her, especially now?

But he also understood her need to do all the things that she wanted to, to play games with snow, to dress a tree with all the stupid glitter and lights that he hated so much. She needed warmth that he couldn’t give her but it would have been nice to have been asked about it. Slamming his fist into the doorframe he caught a view of her pale face as she saw him walk away, back out into the cold. Hearing her swear as she felt him leave, she’d hurt him and she knew it was her fault by not being honest. The only thing he’d asked her to be.

********************************************************

The stars were out when he’d finally stopped walking, the anger was still raging in his blood, she’d made plans without him, she wasn’t going to be here over the winter. Finding himself at the work site his claws slid out, he had to do something with this anger, so he did what he did best, destroyed.
He knew they would hear him the cold crisp air carried all sound of his rampage through the woods. The breaking timbers and the rush of the snow would carry for miles. He could feel her inside his head, trying to talk to him but the animal was in control and it drowned her out. Smashing through branches, tearing at bark, matching each attempt at contact, silencing it, until he felt her give up.

Ororo was waiting for him when he walked into the kitchen, her face was calm serene almost. His eyes burned into hers and he saw her shift a little from his gaze. He sensed her slight flush of fear and he looked away, searching for a beer. “There in the bottom of the fridge, we moved them out of the boys reach. They’d got wise to the last hiding place. At least this way you can keep an eye on them.” He shot a withering stare and the smile faded from her face, “She loves you, you know.”

Opening the beer he drank the whole bottle quickly and reached for a second, holding the door open as he popped the top on the second. “She needs you but she needs to feel part of something too. It’s only for a couple of days and the plans were made in summer Logan, when you weren’t here.” The knife twisted and she caught the movement, watched him tense up and fling the empty bottle into the sink, grimacing as it smashed.
“You want to put something back together? Try that.” Snarling each word he left for his room, he was going to have a few words with a friend of his, a twenty-year old friend who’d never let him down, yet.

********************************************************

He could smell her, all up and down the corridor he could smell her. She’d been crying, upset and angry, a tinge of sadness too a hint of desperation mixed in with it as he neared his door. Fear replaced the anger he’d felt earlier, he’d smelled this once before, Liberty Island. When she’d given up, accepted her fate and had been as close to death as she’d ever been. Throwing open the door he expected to see her in his bed, tired and curled up but it was empty, neat, freshly made. The room even smelled different, she’d sprayed something meant to smell like flowers in here. Checking the bathroom he found it neat and tidy, no sign of her in there, not even a towel, all the things she’d moved in had gone.

A hollow appeared in his stomach, she’d gone, she’d run again, but it was his fault this time. Flying out of his room he ran to the room down the hallway and flung her door open. It was empty, she wasn’t here, her scent had been removed from the room by Damask and Peiter. It was obvious she wasn’t there and hadn’t been for a while. There was only one other place she would be, Kitty’s room in the dorm.

Jogging down to there he passed a few students who were decorating the hallways, making it feel a little more like home. He could see the door, half open and a loud stereo playing inside. Flinging the door open he scanned the room, Kitty stood there half-naked brushing her hair. Her things were laid on an empty bed, all piled up. Everything she’d moved into his room piled higgledy- piggledy, her clothes, brushes, scarves, everything. His eyes must have said things for him because Kitty just pointed to the bathroom picked up her robe and left. He locked the door behind her and went into the bathroom.

She was sat in the bottom of the shower crying, her back turned to the door and her skin red with the heat of the water. He could feel her, defeated, hurt, feeling as if she’d betrayed the one good thing she’d ever had, how could she have done it? He knew it just hadn’t occurred to her to ask him until Kitty had reminded her of the plans she’d made with her earlier in the year. The place at the family cabin, the flight already booked in her name, the presents bought, the food already stacked in the cupboards. How could she tell him she *had* to go? How could she explain it was something she’d needed for so long, to be part of a family Christmas, to be accepted just as she was by a family that understood her gift?

But she was betraying him, he needed her too, they had talked about the new cabin, about being in it by new year. Waking up there together on the first day of the new year, making their new start together facing a new life, how could she when she was supposed to be in Montana? Having fun with a family she’d only ever seen in pictures?

He reached for her through the scalding water, his arms feeling the heat and reddening quickly. She didn’t resist his towelled hands as he moved her up and out of the shower, picking her up gently in a towel carrying her to an empty bed and putting her down gently. “Why?” As he dried her skin with a different towel.
“You hate me don’t you? Because I’m leaving with Kitty. You think I’m deserting you don’t you? I know that’s what you think because you're still in here you know.” Her eyes were downcast as she spoke her voice thick. “You hate me don’t you?” Flicking her gaze upward for a second to gauge his mood.
“I don’t hate you. Why didn’t you say something till now?” Her wet head lifted up and he felt his heart lurch with the pain he found in her gaze.
“I’d forgotten till today when Kitty stopped me in the dining hall. She wanted to know if I wanted to go on the ski-trip or not. She had to remind me about everything, about the plans I’d made with her, all the things that had been organised just for *me*. How could I tell you? I didn’t know how.”

He pulled her damp body close to him, her scent blooming under his nose settling his nerves about her. She snuggled into his arms, hugging him close to her burying herself into his shirt, picking off the pieces of bark that had stuck to him. “So, how much wood did you kill?” He could feel her smile, it radiated through her and he just purred as she moved her hands over his shirt. “I think I’ll stay here tonight, that is if you don’t mind?” Her hands had stopped moving and she was tensed awaiting his answer, her scent had a sour note to it, she was worried.
“Why?” She caught his undertone.
“Well we never 'talk' when we’re together,” he could feel the heat radiate from her skin as she spoke drying her further.
“You haven’t complained so far.” Catching himself as he began to growl as he breathed her in, his hands stroking her over the towel, feeling her shift into the feelings his hands were creating. Listening to her heartbeat speed up as he stroked her hair, catching her eyes with his. Moving closer to her lips, tasting each breath as it left her. Watching her pupils open wide as held her making him hard instantly, feeling her heat rise and her scent deepen. Dipping his head to meet hers, she moved ever so slightly away from him making him freeze short of her lips.

He scanned her eyes and saw the excitement he usually saw there but it was marred by something else, pulling away he felt her relax in his arms. She gripped his arm through the towel, her eyes searching through his, seeing the confusion and anger just under the surface. “I love you Logan.” He knew there was bad news coming. Any second there’s going to be a ‘but’, “But I need this time away, I need to have this little piece of normalcy. I mean if you came with me could you cope with the whole family, kids running round, carol singers, parties of tipsy people running round doing stupid things. Shopping in the streets full of families and entertainers?”

They both knew he couldn’t, he could just see the headline of the local paper ‘Lunatic Mutant Goes On Yuletide Rampage in Local Mall’. He knew he couldn’t go he’d hate every minute of it but he’d make it a misery for her too.
“You know I’d hate it but,” the pain of the words bit into him, tearing him open even deeper than Stryker’s needles had. “I need you,” the words slid out almost apologetically as if he hadn’t really said them. Marie hugged him, almost crushing herself under his skin, her weight pressing against him raising the animal inside. “Oh god Marie I need you,” the words leaving as a growl pulling her over onto his erection letting her feel her effect on him.

Seeing the need reflected in her as she let the towel slip away. Quickly picking a scarf up he rested it against her skin and kissed her through the fine material, listening to her gasp at each touch of his mouth. Pushing him back a little she closed her eyes, he knew she was concentrating, moving her power away, locking the switch closed so he could touch her. Touch and taste as he needed to do, to imprint her on him and him in her. She was leaving him for a while the animal needed to know she’d return, she’d come back to him and this was it’s way of owning her.

Watching as Marie moved the scarf away meeting his eyes, nodding ever so slightly as he moved to taste her skin. Feeling the softness under his teeth as he nipped at her flesh, listening to her breath as it flowed out of her over his head as he moved down her body.
Pulling her down roughly on him, his mouth and hands roaming over her sensitive skin, latching onto her hips, moving her legs so she sat across his lap. “Open,” the word barely making sense burying his face in her chest, nipping, biting, licking her skin. Teasing her nipples hard with his tongue, taking each one into his mouth, gently sucking each one as her hands set him free.

Feeling her peel back the denim as far as she could the cool air of the room stiffening him further, lifting his head off her breasts to watch her eyes as he brought her down onto him. Feeling her sex stretch to allow him inside, gripping him tightly as she slid down its length, her fingers digging into his shoulders as he pulled her into him. Hands wrapped around her small shoulders, her legs wrapped around his hips, heels dug into the small of his back. Rocking slowly back and forward on his length, smiling as she listened to the deep rumble that reverberated through them both.

He loved to look at her as they made love, her face came alive with the passion she’d held under for so long, her body moved with the grace of a dancer making his heart ache for more of her. He’d never get enough of her, no matter how long this lasted. If that meant having to put up with her going away for a few day’s he’d do it. She’d put up with him being gone for nearly a year and she still loved him, still needed him.
Her skin began to flush as she neared her climax, he could feel the spasms begin twitching around his shaft, making him harder. Growling he pushed up off the small bed and stood with her, holding her in his arms bearing her weight easily. Letting gravity pull him deeper inside her, feeling her nipples brush against his chest with each movement she made. Her arms draped over his neck, her eyes open and looking into his, he felt her clench on him, felt her gasp and stiffen on him as it took hold, watching each wave rise over her body stilling her movements.

Kissing her hungrily as she came, her legs gripping his hips moaning with the pleasure that was running through her as he brought her down on him again. Sliding inside her now as her body relaxed and tightened around him, their mixed scents imprinting on their minds. Feeling him shift into a better position, holding onto her, one hand under her; one on her shoulder, controlling her movements with his own. Standing still he moved her on him, feeling his own release building he growled with each downward pull, his fingers digging into her skin.

Knowing he was bruising her but he didn’t care, he wanted her marked, others would know what they meant and he wanted them to see. Her head resting on his shoulder, breath still coming in short gasps as he thrust into her. “Look,” the word was growled out at her and her head moved round to look in his eyes, seeing the animal there as she felt him come inside her. Scalding her with the heat of it, bonding them again, tying them in place, using her legs to grip him as he came. Stifling his cry with her mouth on his, tasting him, eating him, claiming him as hers alone. The bond remade, tightened as she clenched herself around him holding him in place.

The knock at the door made them both start, “If you’re done making up now I’d like to go to bed. I’ve got first patrol at six and its gone ten now. Don’t make me walk through the door Rogue, you know how cranky I get when I have to do it this late at night.” Kissing as he moved her off his hips patting her rear as she disappeared into the bathroom again to get dressed. Tucking himself away and buckling his jeans back he opened the door to a very cranky Kitty. She was stood with a mug of chocolate and just looked straight through him.

“She told you then?”
“Yeah she told me, when do you leave?” He saw her visibly relax as she heard Marie singing from the shower. Kitty pushed into her room and sat on her bed, dropping the brush she’d been carrying and putting the chocolate down on her bedside table.
“We leave for my parents cabin tomorrow, we’ll be up there for about a week. We usually do the whole three-week thing but she didn’t want to so I’m stuck here on first patrol.” He watched as Kitty forced the brush through her hair again, seeing her as if for the first time. She was a good friend to Marie, she’d put herself out for her, given her something she’d needed. Even missing her own family gathering to keep her company.
“She’s staying with you tonight Kitty, I’ve got a early morning patrol before work starts on the slopes. So get some sleep and don’t worry about getting up tomorrow.” He’d almost gotten out of the door before what he’d said made sense to her.
“But you’re not on the roster for tomorrow?” The realisation crossed her face just as he shut the door. “Oh, right. Thanks Logan.” She’d made Marie happy so what would another early morning mean to him, nothing much. Checking his watch, it read 10.30pm, time to go find the shopping party.

The cold night had brought out the stars, watching their dance across the heavens was as good as any watch he’d ever owned and it was more reliable. He heard the engines sound drift up to him, ducking out of sight, looking at the stars it was around 11.30pm and the engine didn’t sound healthy. The whole van looked like it had hit several trees as it came into the lights of the garage. From his position he could see Jubilee holding Damask, Peiter was driving and Bobby looked like he’d been in a fight with a truck and lost. He’d wait and see what they did first before he’d come out and lecture them about doing something he’d done before.

Peiter opened the passenger door and held his hands out to Damask who moved over reluctantly from Jubilee’s grasp and clung to his strong frame. He’d seen enough to know that this wasn’t normal, taking a deep breath collecting all the information he possibly could before they noticed him. It was Jubilee who noticed him first, she surprised him by flying out of the van and flinging her arms around him. “ Oh Wolverine I’m so glad to see you.” She’d never been pleased to see him, ever. Untangling himself from her grip his eyes took in the wreck that was Damask. He could feel his blood beginning to boil over and it was better for Jubilee if she wasn’t clinging to him when he let go.

Peiter clutched Damask close to him, his eyes cold and flinty, he just looked at him and took her inside into the warm. His scent and body language speaking volumes, Logan was finding it hard enough to control himself never mind Peiter. He’d noticed Damask’s shirt had been torn, her skirt dirty and creased, he turned on Bobby who was still trying to get himself out of the passenger seat.

His eyes froze Bobby in place, “You'd better get inside and tell me what happened,” looking at a shivering Jubilee and noticing for the first time that she’d been crying. “Both of you, inside.” They left without an argument, leaving the van stood in the light of the garage, he could see at least three different colours of paint on the suv. It looked like he’d be having a trip into town soon.

He found them all in the study, in front of the large open fire Damask being cradled by Peiter. Bobby leaning against the arm of the large sofa, his bruises forming on his skin, even Jubilee looked sickly. “So who’s going to start?” The group looked at each other and Bobby cleared his throat to start, he’d volunteered to face the wrath. “Uh-uh not you bub. Jubilee, you tell me, ALL of it.” He saw her sink into the seat even further her hand grabbed Damasks and squeezed it hard, eyes red and puffy looked up into his own hard stare and met it equally.

“Okay but it’s not Damasks fault okay? No matter what you might hear tomorrow, it wasn’t her fault, she was only doing what we all do. It just went a little wrong that’s all.” She smiled then. A thin fragile smile to Damask and her eyes became hard and cold when she turned back to him. “No matter what they might say it wasn’t her fault.”
“What wasn’t her fault? Start Jubilee.”
She coughed and cleared her throat, never taking her hand away from Damasks small pale hand. Looking at Peiter and seeing him incline his head a little to get her started she began.

“Well we’d just finished shopping for the gifts in the main court when Bobby noticed we’d picked up a little tail. A group of young boys, who were following us round. Peiter and Bobby just stopped and let them catch up with us and asked them what they wanted. They were just mall rats, trailing us to see if we’d give them anything.” Her voice became strained when she started again. “After we’d shrugged them off we went to the food court, as we had enough time to grab something to eat before we came home and seeing as Damask here had never had Mall Court Food we decided to grab a table and eat.”

Peiter’s face became even harder as Jubilee continued and he could sense the young mans anger go up a notch. “We took our table and we were okay until the Mall Security came over. They were looking for a couple of guys who’d threatened a group of young boys and guess who they were looking for,” Bobby opened his mouth but a quick look got him to close it again.
“Go on Jubilee.”
“They were asked to go with them and they did, we just sat there waiting for them to come back. That’s when things went a little wrong. We decided to go and try some stores while they were being questioned and they both knew which stores we’d be in so we went. The guys who’d been following us earlier re-appeared and we ended up in a bad situation. I should have gone back to the food court I know, there were more people and more exits. They trapped us in a side corridor, they wanted Damask.”

Now he understood, Damask had been controlling her power over the last few weeks. It must have been the stimulus of so many new things, new people, new experiences, her control had slipped in the wrong place at the wrong time. Jubilee looked up at him with fresh tears in her eyes. “It wasn’t her fault Wolverine, it wasn’t. I should have known better than to go down that corridor. I had to use my powers to get us out of there, I think I hurt someone but it was all I could think of. We got out of the corridor and we just ran into the crowds, I lost Damask near the exits. Peiter found her, curled up under a seat near the doors. There was a crowd round her and they didn’t look like they wanted to help her.”

She squeezed Damasks hand and Damask smiled weakly back at her. “I’m sorry I lost you, I just didn’t know what to do, there were so many round you. I couldn't get to you.” He could see the scene in his mind, the crowds of shoppers, the sounds of the mall at night. Everyone’s emotions hiked up and Damask dropped in the middle of it all, it was a disaster waiting to happen.

He turned to Bobby, “That how you got the shiner?” He nodded mutely. Looking at Peiter and Damask he caught Peiter’s eyes and saw the hate lurking just under the surface. “Take her to bed Peiter and come back down when she’s settled. You can cool off on Patrol tonight. Maybe we’ll do some more work on the slopes later. How does that sound?” The large man stood up easily with Damasks small frame in his arms, his eyes burning as he spoke.
“Good but not as good as going back would be.”

He understood the anger, the rage inside him but it wasn’t the way to keep a low profile here at the school, there were others here who needed its protection. Nodding he spoke, “Yeah I know but it’s all we can do for now okay? We’ll go back tomorrow and you can point out the idiots that started this whole thing. How’s that do you? If these kids are ‘Mall Rats’” He looked at Jubilee’s small curled form on the sofa and wondered how fragile she really was under that bluff exterior. “They’ll be there tomorrow and we’ll pay them a visit.” Watching as Peiter moved off with Damask in his embrace, feeling a sharp spike of jealousy as they disappeared from view.
Looking at the pair of them on the sofa they looked tired and haggard, there was more to this story and the van had a major role in it.

********************************************************

“What happened next Jubilee?” Snapping out of her thoughts her eyes met his and clouded for a moment.
“What?”
“What happened to the van?” she blushed almost immediately and Bobby shifted uncomfortably, he caught the scent of fear from them both and this wound him even further. “Someone better tell me because you ain’t leaving this room till someone does.” Folding his arms over his chest to amplify the point.
Bobby sighed, “We ran into the F.O.H outside the mall.” Bobby’s face showed the resignation of defeat, he expected to be called to for the damage to the van. “They noticed the registration plate of the suv and they decided to follow us and have a little ‘fun’.”

He allowed Bobby and Jubilee to take their time, they explained the run from the Mall with Damask in Peiter’s arms. The group of men who noticed the outpouring from the mall and the word ‘mutant’ shouted after them. Then the chase through the streets and the near misses with the trees along the roads. He got a very good description of the three trucks from Bobby and Jubilee, who by now were curled up with each other on the sofa, their mutual experience of hatred giving them something to cling to. The clock in the study read 12.30am when they eventually left for bed, after he’d gotten everything out of them that he thought he could use. With Xavier away and the school nearly empty the F.O.H must have seen them as a easy target, soft. Well he’d have to show them otherwise, with a little help from Peiter.

Peiter met up with him on the lawn, the snow already floating down from the laden sky. He looked angry and he could scent the young mans annoyance at not being able to protect Damask as well as he could’ve. Throwing a look his way he saw the set of his jaw, taught strong and humming with tension. “You were set up Peiter, I’ve been going over what you all told me. There’s no way you could have been picked out by random, they knew who you were.”

Feeling Peiter’s eyes on him he met his gaze, seeing the confusion there and the realisation that they had been in more danger than they’d thought. “There’s no need to beat yourself up about it now, it’s over. They must have noticed the van from the food runs we’ve been doing lately and decided to send their little message that we’re not wanted in their own way. Well we’ll be able to do something about that later won’t we? But for now we’re on patrol and that means going over the grounds, all of em including the woods.” He grinned as the words sank into Peiter, “An if we feel like getting a little extra work done out there then who’s to know? Come on I’ll tell you how to spot a guy whose watching you in a crowd.”

They spent the night going over new security details and covering the grounds, teaching Peiter how to spot tails and the nervous ticks that most people try to cover up while they’re being sneaky. They’d just finished stacking the logs he’d cut earlier that day at the new cabin site when he saw the first lights go on in the kitchen. They’d both worked off the frustration and anger they’d felt earlier, although they would be going out later that day to find the trucks that had almost killed them. The gloves were off now and they had to defend themselves, Scott would have to be told and he’d probably want to involve the police. They all knew how the police would react to it, to them it’s just another problem caused by mutants but he’d try to do the right thing, be honest and put his faith in the law. The problem was he didn’t.

Walking into the kitchen his nose was assaulted by the smells of a huge breakfast, bacon, sausage, waffles, toast, fruit, two kinds of eggs and strong coffee. Ororo, Marie, Kitty, Jubilee and Damask were working flat out, dishing up the food onto plates. Damask noticed them first and dropped her spoon to the table making the others look round as she flew into Peiter’s arms. Ororo smiled as she saw the large man melt into her small form. Looking at them both she spoke, “Hungry Logan? Peiter?”
Seeing the mountain of food on the table, which would have been enough to feed a small army, just decided to nod and poured a large mug of coffee. “Be careful Logan that’s Jubilee’s blend, she does it when she needs to study, so you’ve been warned.”

Taking a long draught from his mug feeling the bitterness attack his sinus before it actually hit his tastebuds making him wince.
“See told you I could make him wince, no-one can drink my brew and not react.” Jubilee sounded smug as Marie laughed into her own small mug of tea. Allowing the brew to flow into his stomach feeling the muscle tighten and threaten to throw the thing back out, controlling his reflex he managed to answer her.
“Next time Jubilee I’ll make you one of mine.” Marie looked at Jubilee and shook her head vigorously, as if she shouldn’t even take him up on the offer. Jubilee ignored her.

“I can drink anything you can brew Wolverine.” Marie just put her hand on her friends shoulder and patted it in condolence. Jubilee caught her meaning, “Hey there’s nothing I can’t handle, after drinking mall coffee for the last few years there’s nothing that can get to my stomach.”
Ororo grinned and came closer.
“That may be so Jubilee but you said ‘Anything you can brew’ and I don’t think Logan was thinking about coffee.” The words settled on her mind and sank in, her eyes opened wide.
“He wouldn’t, would he?” Looking at Marie with the realisation of what she’d just done, she’d just challenged Wolverine to a drinking contest and one of his own making too.
“Rogue tell me he wouldn’t hold me to it would he?” She was already in a fit of laughter as was Ororo. Turning to face him he could see the terror lurking in her eyes, “Tell me you wouldn’t.”
“I never back down from a challenge Jubilee, you know that.” Grinning as her head hit her hands and groaned loudly, just as Scott walked into the kitchen with Hank.
“What challenge?” Scott asked, sleep still marring his thoughts.

Ororo answered him “Jubilee has just challenged The Wolverine to a drinking contest.” His eyebrows shot up as he looked at the prone form of Jubilee with her head on the table and a grinning Logan.
“Well as long as it teaches a lesson I don’t mind.” At hearing this Jubilee’s head shot up.
“You mean you’d allow a ‘minor’ to drink in the school! This is not the thing we want to teach the younger students is it? It’s not a very good example to set!” Helping himself to the large amount of food on offer Scott thought as he filled his plate.

“Actually it will because it’ll only happen once and seeing as I’ll be the judge of the contest the word will spread and others will know how stupid the whole idea of drinking is. That is if you don’t mind me sitting in Logan?”

Exasperated Jubilee snatched a couple of bagels and stomped off to eat somewhere that seemed a little closer to sanity. She bumped past Bobby muttering about men, leaving the rest of the kitchen in laughter.
Settling down with a full plate, managing to eat slowly and carefully all the while watching Marie, burning her image into his mind. Watching Peiter and Damask eat together, one or the other picking little pieces off their shared plate and feeding the other with it, reminding him of birds in the spring.

Marie walked around the table and sat down, her bare hands brushing his hair, picking out the pieces of bark that had stuck there. “You look like a wild man this morning,” her eyes sparkled full of mischief just for him. Her whole body looked relaxed, soft even. Her hand touched the collar of his shirt and traced the edge near his skin, making his nerves react to her closeness. “Want to risk it?” As she moved closer to him, her scent filling his mind completely blocking out hunger and fatigue. Watching her pupils dilate as she moved her mouth to his and knowing how much she missed not waking up next to him this morning.

As their lips met briefly, he could feel her need for his touch he didn’t disappoint her. Curling his hands around her back and holding her tightly in his grip, feeling her muscles relax with his touch. Knowing that he wasn’t afraid of her or her skin gave Marie the confidence she needed to face the day, the day she’d be leaving with Kitty. Her eyes were a mixture of regret and excitement, regret for having to leave him so close to Christmas. But excited at the prospect of having a family who were willing to have fun with her no matter what her mutation.

“So what time are you leaving?” His voice sounded flat even to him and he caught her scent of unease. “I’m not mad Marie just a bit tired we’ve had a long night.” Putting down his fork she moved his arms open and crawled onto his lap.
“We’re not going until 2pm, Kitty’s dad is coming to pick us up. We’re flying out at 5. We’re hoping to miss the rush of traffic for the Mall.” At the mention of the mall he looked over to Scott who was shoving breakfast down at a speed that rivalled his own.
“There’s a problem we need to discuss Cyc, something happened last night when the kids were at the Mall. Our ‘friends’ from the lab are in town.” Scott stopped mid-chew and he stared at him. “It’ll wait till breakfast is over and I’ll fill you in. You might want to call Xavier and let him know what happened. It could be trouble for us.” He squeezed Marie in his lap and felt her tighten up as she gripped him hard. Looking at her worried face he knew the best place for her at the moment was away from here. If they were planning anything, he needed to know she was safe then he could concentrate on what had to be done. Ororo interrupted his train of thought.

“The workers are arriving Logan, are you going out too?” The snow was falling gently and softly on the ground, covering the garden with its soft beauty.
“Yeah I’ll be out there for a while, get them started on what we need today. But if the snow keeps coming down like it is the shifting of the cut lumber will have to wait till later. We need a decent truck to move them down without slipping on the snow.”
“What about the horses?” Hank had been slowly eating his breakfast, reading the paper with interest, eyes following the rise and fall of the stock market when he’d come out with the sentence that had stopped everyone in their tracks.
Noticing the silence, he looked up from his paper to see everyone looking at him. Feeling the eyes of everyone on him he felt the need to explain further. “We have the equipment in the stables and the horses need exercise. I’m sure the larger horses will be more than adequate to pull the loads you need moving.”

Of course, why hadn’t he thought of it? The horses in the stable block, they were large even-tempered creatures he’d seen the children riding on them in the summer. Even Xavier liked to take a ride around the grounds and if they could cope with the weight of his saddle, then pulling a tree shouldn’t be a problem. Smiling he hugged Marie closer to him and grinned at Hank. Pushing bacon into his mouth he wondered what else the day would bring, a fight would round the day off nicely, especially if Peiter and he had anything to say about it.

Leaving Marie to her packing after breakfast they discussed the whole episode of last night at the table, Ororo, Scott, Kurt and Hank listened as Peiter, Jubilee, Damask and Bobby explained what had happened. The whole being singled out by security, separating them, breaking them up into smaller groups, the attack on the road and the lack of police. Scott went to talk to the professor and get his advice, Ororo and Kurt got the morning coffee ready for the workers and took it out into the snow. Hank went to sort out the tack in the stables, while he took a few moments to talk to Peiter and the others.

“What you did was stupid, you know that and I’m not going to repeat it. You left yourselves open to attack, you didn’t keep yourselves aware out there. Just because its Christmas doesn’t mean that the world suddenly loves us, it’s more dangerous than any other time. People get panicky and stressed out you know this, adding mutants to the mix didn’t help. Next time you want to go shopping we go as a large group, not in small easily split groups. After the holidays you’ve all got extra training, you’re going to learn how to spot these dangers. I’ve touched on it with Peiter but there’s still a lot to learn that’s all I’m going to say about this. I let you go and it’s my responsibility to train you in self–defence and I’ve lacked in a very important part of it and for that I apologise.”

The stunned silence that met his ears made him fill the empty space. “Now that you’ve had your dressing down I’m going to give you the rest of it.” The faces went pale around the table. “For the rest of the week you’ll be helping out on the food front here in the kitchen, all of you. You’ll be the bus boys and cooks. And that includes Christmas Dinner.” Jubilee was about to complain when he added the remaining part. “If this isn’t to your liking I suppose I could always ask Cyclops what he wants you to do seeing as you’ve now got the van to pay for too? Maybe he’ll want the stables clearing out more often, now that we’ll be using the horses to work the slope. Perhaps the patrols will need to be more often with less rotation, especially as the weather is coming in.” He let his gaze stop over Jubilee who had made it quite clear that the cold wasn’t something she was used to yet. “So any arguments?” The overall silence from the table confirmed his judgement, they’d do it and be happy with getting off so lightly.

“Don’t forget our contest later Jubilee, I’ll be waiting in the games room at 8, just after dinner has been sorted out.” Looking at the clock on the wall and the mess that their breakfast had left he nodded to the sinks, “You’d better get started, the other kids will be down soon for breakfast and the dishes haven’t been done yet.” Leaving them to the mess, he faced the snow and the cold with a smile.

*******************************************************

It took till the mid-morning to get the teams of horses working steadily and safely but when they were it went smoothly like clockwork. The trees were cut at the top of the slope, chains attached to them and the horses pulled them down the slope safely, down to the group who were ready to chop the tree into logs. When everything was moving quickly and safely he decided it was time to take a break and get a little sleep. Leaving a woman in charge of the horses, he walked through the snow to the tent that had been set up by Kurt and Ororo earlier. Settling into a small folding chair he closed his eyes for a while, hoping to gain some sleep to ease the ache in his bones.

Drifting into sleep he felt a brush over his mind, soft and gentle almost tender reminding him of someone, someone who’d been lost to them. Too tired to take anymore notice he fell into sleeps embrace, welcoming the peace and warmth he found within it.

All too soon he felt hands shaking him and he woke to a worker handing him a cup of coffee and a warm sandwich of beef. Smiling his thanks he took the food and had a look around the tent. Everyone was in here, including the horses, their size heating the tent with their sweet straw scent. Pushing out of the chair, walking to the open flap and watching the snow fall on the grounds. The clouds were heavy with it still, the ground at least two inches deep as it was, by the end of the day they’d have half a foot at least. It wouldn’t stop work for a while but it would make it difficult with their workforce having to travel to and from the site everyday. Maybe they’d better stay here tonight, do some hunting for the holiday’s and then go home for the remainder and come back after the holiday’s. He’d go and clear it with Scott and Xavier first before he mentioned anything out loud but it would make sense even if it was just a few of them.

Taking a good drink he took the time to think about the last few weeks, they’d been busy, hectic almost. Even with the school being nearly empty the halls still seemed crowded and the walls full of voices. Watching the snow drift gently to the ground he watched Hank make his way over to the tent, leading a small group of pupils. Everyone of them carried something wrapped in paper, they moved into the tent and he could hear the children wishing the workers a happy Yuletide. He heard the sounds of laughter and the joy inside the tent sent a cold shiver down his spine, why he didn’t really understand but Christmas was never his favourite holiday. He always avoided it if at all possible, trying to be out somewhere where it didn’t matter what the date was, it was just another day.

Scenting Hank behind him he turned to face him, Hank was stood in the snow, his body slightly steaming in the cold air. His eyes were curious and he’d pulled his mouth into a lopsided smile.
“What?” Feeling slightly annoyed with the thought of being a source of humour for the man.
“You seem a little ruffled Logan are you alright?” Feeling old beyond his years he wiped his eyes and finished the coffee in his hand.
“Yeah just tired Hank, I haven’t had much sleep of late.” Hank held out his hand for the mug in his hands and he passed him the empty.
“Rogue has sent me to ask you to the house, she’ll be leaving in around an hour and she wants to see you first.” Looking at the mansion with all its lights on and the children walking back to the warmth he pulled his coat tight around him and passed Hank the sandwich too.
“Right, I’d better go then. Hank could you ask the headman if he’d stay on tonight with a few others, I want to get the hunt started tonight. The deer are starting to lose condition and I want them to get the most of the rights we’ve given em.” Hank nodded his approval.
“How are you going to do it?”
“We’ll use some feed from the stable, get in on the trail up on the north ridge, plenty of large deer that way. We should get a good haul tonight. Pass the word round.” He let Hank get halfway to the tent before he added, “Only good shots though Hank, I don’t want butchers or first timers. I want this done as cleanly as possible. No need for them to suffer any further than the winters going to do to them already.” Hank saw the depth of feeling he had for the animals he’d considered to be his. The school was Xavier’s, the classrooms were Hanks, the gardens were Ororo’s, but the woods were *his*. Their welfare was his concern and he wouldn’t have the animals in them suffer more than nature intended for them.

Turning on his heel he made his way across the tracked lawn to the mansion and the thing he’d been dreading all day. Saying goodbye to Marie.


Tides
*****
The snow seemed to get deeper the closer he got to the Mansion, almost reaching his knees by the time he got to the kitchen path. Shaking the loose snow off himself he watched the preparation of dinner through the windows. Bobby was peeling potatoes, Peiter was washing salad and shaking it dry. Smiling at his own creativeness as he walked in tracking the snow with him. Jubilee watched him walk across her newly washed floor and just huffed as he passed her, allowing himself a nice glow as he took the stairs two at a time.

Kitty was already packed with her cases next to the door ready to go down, everything neat, straight and sorted into size. He wondered about Kitty, what her family was like, how they’d managed to keep faith with their daughter even when she could do what seemed like impossible things. Knocking on the door he heard the frustrated cries of Marie coming through the wood as Kitty opened it. “Where is it? Damn it I’ve had it for a year now you’d think I’d remember where I put the damn thing!” Kitty just rolled her eyes and let him in, shaking her head at the flying scarves and gloves that were painting the air with various splashes of colour.
“Are you sure you didn’t take it with you to your new room?” Sighing she collapsed on the bed next to the almost frantic Marie. “It’s not the end of the world if you don’t find it is it?” Marie’s eyes almost bugged out of her head and the little vein on her temple throbbed openly.
“YES IT IS!”

He’d had enough of being ignored by now and coughed lightly. Her eyes widened in shock when she saw him stood there in the doorway, the small strangled squeak never made it past her lips. Her hands were still searching through a box of gloves when her hand touched the small box she’d been looking for. Smiling in triumph she pulled the small item from a velvet glove, shaking it into her hand she held the small wooden box blew off the fluff and walked across to him.

“For you.” Depositing the small box in his hands, turning the box over he saw the small delicate silver work embedded in the dark red wood. A wolverine, moving determinedly over the red background. “Open it,” his fingers a little stiff from the work outside it took him a while to do, the catch was small fiddley even. He opened the small box and found the metal chain inside, it was fine, small, too delicate for a man. Noticing his confusion as he held it up in his fingers, the metal felt familiar to him, very familiar. A smile playing on her lips Marie spoke, “Do you like it?”

He didn’t know what to say really, the box was beautiful, very detailed and fine work but the chain? “Do you want to put it on me then?” The light came on inside his head as he realised what it was, it was for her, her gift from him. “Have you guessed yet? What the metal is? I had to ask Xavier for the technical support to do it, but it worked out fine didn’t it? It took about a month to make but it was worth it.” The thin metal slid over her skin as he put it around her neck, the touch of it so damn familiar and then it struck him as he moved his hands through her hair.

It was Adamantium, they’d made a fine chain of Adamantium, looking at the small twist as it scooped around her neck he marvelled at its beauty. Fingering the small twist he heard Kitty smiling as she spoke, “You should have seen the amount of time it took her to plait her hair that thin. She spent days weaving the strands she found of yours in with it, then we had the whole worry of it being plated with the metal, whether it’d burn or not. Bobby helped with it, he cooled the hair so it could be plated. He was sooo cocky after that.”

Looking at Marie and the simple chain around her throat he felt his heart come up into his throat. She’d made a bond and forged it with something that he was, turning something he’d been ashamed of into something beautiful. Something so perfect and pretty, he watched the last light of the afternoon glinting from its surface. She could have been wearing a diamond necklace worth the entire national debt but it wouldn’t have meant as much as that small thin piece of metal around her neck.

“You see I kept it just in case you ever came back. I’d always have part you with me you see no matter what happened. I just wanted you to give it to me, but you weren’t here so I kind of gave it to myself.” Searching his face for some kind of reaction, she began to worry. “Logan you alright? I haven’t upset you have I?” She began to wonder when he didn’t move his eyes from her throat, from the silver glinting at her neck. “If it upsets you I’ll take it off.” Her hands moving to the catch at the back of the chain, his hands caught hers before they were halfway there.

“No you didn’t upset me, only surprised me.” His fingers holding the delicate chain in his grip he pulled her forward into his body and held her tightly. “I love you Logan, I’ll be back home soon and you can bet on that.” Her fingers played with the metal at her throat, “Besides part of you’ll be coming with me anyway.” Smiling at her words he kissed her quickly and held her tightly, breathing her into himself, imprinting her scent on his mind. Kitty coughed politely.

“Rogue we have to get going or we’re not going to make the plane.” Brushing tears out of her eyes she flashed him a smile and broke out of their embrace, the small box still clutched in his hand. “There’s a surprise in there for you if you look under the compartment lid.” Opening the box again he noticed the small catch in the large lid and pressed it. Another chain of hair wrapped up in the lid, brown and white, it shone out against the redwood of the box. Her scent billowed out of the small compartment, he’d always have her near him, as long as he kept the box. Snapping the lid shut he watched as she picked up her case, getting ready to leave for her holiday away from him. He didn’t want her to go, he needed her to stay here with him. The moment wasn’t lost on Kitty who decided to go and see if her father had appeared yet.

Standing a few feet apart they both laughed as they replayed the same thought in their head. “You running again?” Dropping her case she hugged him hard, squeezing him for all she was worth. Burying her face in his shirt wiping her tears into it laughing at her fear of leaving him alone. "You’ll be okay won’t you? You’re not going to hide in your room and mope are you? You’re not going to be The Grinch of the mansion?” Smiling as he looked into her eyes remembering the love and trepidation in them it was her turn to leave him and come back. Would he still want her when she came home? Kissing the top of her head he crushed her closer to him.
“Enjoy yourself Marie, phone me and tell me about it. Let me know when you get there okay? No matter what time you get in.” Feeling her hands running over his back and seeing the glint of metal, he purred deep in his chest. Feeling Marie snuggle upto the sound, letting it reverberate through her, knowing that he loved her and would love her no matter how far away she was. Pushing herself away from him she moved to pick up her case, he beat her to it. “Come on lets see if your rides here.”

They walked downstairs together, making each step count. Kitty’s bags were already at the front door and being loaded by her father and brother. Looking down at the small group as they packed, he felt her need to do this sharply. Yet he also understood that he couldn’t be part of this, she needed this time to grow, he’d be here when she came back. Watching as her case was packed by Kitty’s brother who smiled sweetly at her trying to catch her attention until Kitty pointed out the large man on the stairs and whispered who he was. The young man went pale and he noticed his behaviour changed quite quickly, growling just loud enough to be heard he watched the young man dive into the car. Kitty laughing as she followed him and waving her goodbyes, Marie looked back once, smiled and winked, then she too got in the car and was whisked away from him. If he’d felt that the mansion had been full earlier, now it seemed as empty as a tomb. She’d gone but his fingers caressed the small redwood box, she’d be back soon. It was only a week, she’d waited a whole year. Inside he hoped he could last that long.

*********************************************************

The sun was beginning to set by the time he made it outside to the tent, most of the workforce had left. There were a few men and women left, each one carrying a rifle. Some were almost antique others were more modern, Hank was sat with a small group speaking quietly in a sing-song language part of him recognised but from where he had no idea. Nodding to a couple of people he walked upto Hank and put his hand on the large man’s back. As Hank turned his amber gaze into his, he felt himself choke down a growl. The challenge was still there in his eyes and the animal was reacting to it.

“Hank could you bring a bag of feed from the stables and meet us at the top of the ridge, you’ll be able to find the trail easily, even in this light.” Turning to the rest of the people gathered in the close confines of the tent he began. “Over the north ridge of the woods on the estate there’s a good hundred head of deer. Now the grounds won’t support them all and we do have local predators but they don’t take enough. The deer have it easy here and we need to take out the surplus males, the bucks. Any male with more than six points is open, no females and no young. I counted at least 20 large ten points the last time I was up here, there’s even a twelve point out there somewhere. So make every shot count and make it clean, I don’t want to be tracking injured deer all night.” His voice and eyes were met with understanding and feeling. They knew he cared for his lands and the creatures in it they’d do their best not to disappoint him.

Walking out of the tent into the snow he could see the colour draining out of the sky into the snow covered ground, painting it a shade of pink. Breath fogging in the fading light he felt the weight of his claws in his arms, he’d watch the hunt and dispatch any that were shot clumsily. He wouldn’t have any animal suffering tonight, not any that didn’t deserve it. Looking back to the group that was leaving out the small warmth of the tent, he could see the need written in their eyes. They needed this hunt more than the animals did, it gave them something that they thought they’d forgotten, pride.

Hank was walking back toward the hill with his load, making it seem small and easy to shift. He’d moved them before and he knew how much they weighed, he reassessed Hank’s strength as he shifted the bag from one arm to the other with the ease of a child carrying a toy.

With all the group behind him now, looking at the sky and the coming darkness he moved out into the woods. Setting up cross fires in the underbrush they poured out some of the feed and waited, it didn’t take long. A group of males walked into the firing line, all eight pointers they were shot quickly and moved under snow to keep the smell from disturbing any others. They finally dispatched twenty good sized males that evening, he didn’t even have to finish off any wounded deer. All cleanly shot, straight through the chest or head, he found himself being impressed with their abilities and watched as they all took turns pulling the carcasses back to the trucks.

He helped to load them onto the flat beds of the trucks and wrapped them in tarp to cover them from the snow that had started to fall. The first part of the hunt had finished, they’d be welcome to finish up after the holiday and get the remainder of the quota when they needed them. It was time for the work force to go home and finish preparing the deer, after they’d picked up their wages the woman who’d been looking after the horses walked over to him. Her face was uncertain and her scent betrayed her state of pride and confusion.
“We just want to say thank you, for everything. You didn’t have to do this for us and we just want you to know that we appreciate what you’re doing for us.” Her face was weathered and lines covered her forehead, eyes that had seen hunger and cold were trying to convey a softness that hadn’t been there for many years. Feeling the weight of her gaze on him, watching for his reaction he just snorted and walked away into the snow. Towards the garage where he knew Peiter would be waiting for him.

He heard the woman asking Hank if she’d upset him as he walked away and he didn’t catch the reply but he knew that Hank would explain it better than he could right now. He was in the mood to hunt, to track down his quarry and kill it. It just didn’t have four legs, it had two and drove a truck.

Smiling to himself as his blades slid out of his skin, lighting up his desire to kill, to rend and tear those who’d seen him as weak. Pulling them back in as he met Peiter he smiled as the young man turned, he wasn’t the only one looking for a fight, he could smell the anger burning off him. It lit the air around him like a corona, he wasn’t angry he was past angry and into cool rage.

Patting him on the shoulder, he looked up into his face. “If anyone asks where we’ve been or what we’ve been upto we went shopping okay?” Peiter looked a little incredulous at the story they were going to use. “What aren’t we going to the Mall?” A grin that wasn’t entirely human filled his face and Peiter matched it with one of his own, both smiles never reaching the coldness of their eyes. Climbing into the schools truck, he flicked the engine into life with a twist of his claw. “Lets go shopping.”

The place was crowded, people were bumping into him all the time and his temper wasn’t getting any better. Peiter had navigated them to the main shopping area where they’d been ambushed yesterday by the group of young men. It was a week to the twenty-fifth and the crowds were out in full force, it reminded him of the caribou, every single person consuming everything in their path. Leaving nothing behind but tracks and fertiliser to show they’d been here, Peiter broke him out of his thoughts as he pointed out one of the young men. He was only slightly built but the new coat he was wearing added to his bulk, making him seem like a puffball on legs. Peiter made to move but catching hold of his arm he just shook his head, they’d wait for the rest of them to arrive.

It was nearly eight thirty when the rest of the gang showed up, a mixed group of sizes shapes and colours. There were a couple of football players in there too if he wasn’t mistaken, their bodies already taking on the form of professionals. They watched their movements, seeing them eye up potential victims, seeing them latch onto a couple, out to have fun.

Following at a distance, pulling at the woman’s coat and scarf. Taunting the man until he turned around and was instantly surrounded by the gang. Using pack tactics they found the weak spot and exploited it, separating the man from his date, he’d left her vulnerable outside the circle for the rest of the gang to get at. One of the larger men draped his arm over the young woman and tried to bring her closer to him, she pushed out of his grip and lost her scarf in the struggle.

He’d seen enough to know what they were, they were children playing in the schoolyard. This was their territory and as such they thought they had the right to treat others badly. Well it was time for their lesson. Turning to Peiter he smiled and nodded and they set out into the crowd.
Locking his eyes on the largest, he barrelled into the young man, knocking his arm flying off the young woman and straight into their ring around the victim. The victims took the opportunity and grabbed it, they both forced their way clear and lost themselves in the crowds. He turned to the young hothead in the middle and smiled, holding out his hand to apologise.

“I’m sorry for that, my friend here was getting a little excited about seeing you again.” He looked round and met Peiter’s gaze, he had to give him credit the kid actually smiled before he realised who he was. The smile froze on his lips and the rest of the group had turned to see. To see if there was any fun to be had, with the two new toys that had walked in on their fun. Without a word the kid bolted leaving his friends unsure what to do, Peiter had already gone after him chasing him through the crowds leaving him with the other six. Logans smile didn’t reach his eyes as he looked around the group in front of him, they stank of fear and uncertainty which didn’t improve when he spoke.

“Right, who’s going to be first to tell me about last night?” Three of the smallest melted away into the crowds, leaving him with the footballers, who now seemed much more self assured and cocky. He could sense the change in the air, felt the change from predator to prey, they thought he was weak, a small old man with no strength.
Watching as they weighed him up by looking at his clothes, his hair and his boots, mentally calculating his worth and thinking they were worth more. Looking around the atrium he could see Peiter had his boy near the doors, locked in an arm lock and he was taking him outside to the truck. Seeing himself as others were around him, surrounded by three large young men, not shopping or smiling deciding that it might be better to take this outside. Away from the crowds and into the car park, where there would be space to manoeuvre. He backed away from the young men and just winked, showing his teeth as he smiled.

“We got what we came for boys, go back to bothering the normals eh?” He could smell their confusion and heard the intake of breath as they worked out they’d been tricked, fooled into their own plan of divide and conquer. Laughing at their stupidity, he walked toward the doors, listening to their barely restrained voices. Weaving through the crowds he made the doors in record time, pushing through them into the cold night air. Feeling the wind strip all the false scents and sounds from his senses, feeling free to do what needed to be done. He could see Peiter with his prize, the kid was pleading, could hear every word as he walked over.

*****************************************************

Scenting the fear that was rising off the kid, allowing the animal to feed from it, letting it’s bestial nature free to wallow in the adrenaline. Tightening his fists as the blades slid out, feeling the almost sexual release of them, sensing the fear that hitched up a notch as he brought them up into the half-light of the car park. Light sparkling off the edges, reflecting in the kids wide eyes as he watched them being brought up under his chin. Peiter holding him steady, there was no chance of him moving onto the blades. If he kept still all he’d have were memories of a dark night in a car park, if he struggled it’d be his last.

The kids eyes were huge as he looked into their depths, washed out and frightened. He knew he’d been abandoned by his friends, left to whatever they were. Peiter tapped his shoulder just as he was going to ask who had paid him. Moving his eyes away from the man in front he met Peiter’s gaze, “They're coming over, at least seven of them.”
“Men or boys?”
“Definitely men, some have armbands.” As the words filtered through to the animal underneath he smiled, they didn’t even have to leave the mall to find the goons who’d made Damask’s first trip out a misery. Tonight was getting better all the time.

He freed Peiter to move by taking the kid out of his hands, hearing the voices of his friends the kid began to smile again, sending his scent blooming out to his nose, gaining confidence with each new voice he heard. “You're gonna be sorry now old man, Dan’s gonna hurt ya.” The tone grated across taught nerves, bringing his blades upward ever so slightly, pricking the skin and making him bleed down his throat. The sensation silenced any other comments and brought back the stench of fear so strong that it covered everything.

“Three to your right, two directly behind and four to the left. They don’t look armed,” it was time to face the welcoming committee. Drawing his hand back from his throat, pulling in the blades he gave the kid a good solid punch under the chin. He dropped like a sack, pooling around his boots. Stepping around the body he turned to face the group that were approaching quickly now that they’d seen their friend fall to the cold ground. He met Peiter’s gaze and saw the cold rage flare up in his eyes as he recognised some of the men from last night, nodding to him they both stepped into the coming crowd.

Peiter went right, coolly side stepping a telegraphed move and smashing his fist into the unprotected back of the attackers head, dropping him instantly. Two men went to pick up the body at their feet but a swift kick from a boot ended that idea, a bloody face went down next to the puffball coat and stayed there. The group on the left made a rush together, forcing Logan back against the truck door, feeling the punches land in his midsection, chest and head. Then the bright flash of steel as it pushed into his ribs, feeling the flesh part painfully as the blade grazed against the rib, deflecting it downward.

Seeing the grunt of triumph on the face of the man who did it as he pulled the knife out again. Seeing himself fall forward onto his knees as the tissue started to knit back together, letting him alone as they thought he’d been dealt with they turned to Peiter. He heard their taunts echo around his ears, fuelling the rage the animal needed. He heard the blade snap as they tried to stab him, Peiter’s mutation came in handy especially in fights. Pushing aside the wet cloth feeling the skin knit back together, growling deep in his chest he flew into the crowd around Peiter.

Punching and biting he put three down before they even knew what hit them, the others were more concerned with Peiter and his fists. Currently he was hammering down on a unprotected head, feeling the pressure of the blows raining down on the mans skull he wondered if he had a head made of stone. Peiter’s skin shone amber in the car park lights making him look like a statue come to life. Punching one in the spine and one in the back of the head they both dropped quickly, blacking out and settling into the snow. He could feel the rage burning off Peiter, he wanted to kill this man and he would if he didn’t stop him. Catching his arm as Peiter made to finish the job even he had a hard time just holding him still. Catching his eye and shaking his head he watched as Peiter unclenched his fist and let the man fall to the ground. “That’s enough, we’ve made our point. Now we take them to the police.” Peiter’s skin changed back and he looked at the heap in front of them.
“Why, they won’t believe us. They’ll believe them,” he gave a body at his feet a nudge. Smiling he answered.
“Yes they will, why do you think I parked here of all places. Look up.” On top of a light was an old video security camera, Peiter smiled as it sank in, they looked like friends on tape even the kid they’d brought out here.

That’s why he’d kept the blades unseen under the kids chin, on tape they just looked like they were talking and getting ready to go home when a group of men attacked them for no reason. “All we have to do is wait Peiter.” He could hear the sirens in the distance getting closer and closer. Moving away from the prone forms he leaned against the truck, lighting a cigar in the cold air. It had turned out to be a good day all in all. Even with Marie leaving for her holiday, Peiter smiled and just leaned back with him. Understanding how they’d managed to get all of the gang together by playing bait with one of their own. “When they question us which they will, all you have to say is that you came back to finish your shopping that they interrupted the other day. You brought me because I have the truck, seeing as they wrecked your own transport yesterday.” Winking as he said it they both began to laugh out loud, relieving the tension they both felt inside, making a memory that they’d both remember for years to come.

*******************************************************

It took four hours of statements and cross-questioning to get the police to accept their story, that they’d been the hurt parties. They’d been the ones who’d been attacked first, that they’d only been back to finish the shopping that had been interrupted yesterday. A quick trip to the school and the look of surprise on the cops faces as they’d seen the damage wrought to the van. Photographs were taken, more statements from Damask and Jubilee who exaggerated everything but made it sound even worse than it had been. Even Bobby showed up and had his bruises photographed and statement taken. The men were in custody and they’d be back later to sort out the details of the fight later. Seeing as they had the video from the Mall parking lot there wasn’t much they could do but admit it.

Their vehicles were searched and paint from the school van was found on them, as were several unregistered guns. After they’d left with all the evidence they needed from them and the vehicles, he doubted they’d be back. Not until after Christmas anyway, especially as the court system seemed to grind to a halt over the holidays. They’d all be cooling their heels in the local jail for the holidays.

Scott had been present for the interviews and he’d put his own spin on the proceedings. That he was going to sue if the case wasn’t given priority, seeing as the attack was on minors who weren’t even seen by the police until this other incident. They should have been seen the same night but he’d been told to let them come in the next week or so and they had been attacked again by the same group of people. He’d wrapped it up in words that he himself wasn’t too sure of and neither was the beat cop. He’d been flustered enough by his surroundings and the smooth professional manner of the man in front of him to make him worry and get annoyed. He wouldn’t show it to Scott but the guy’s who’d caused all the trouble would be having a hard time later. After the police had left Scott had grabbed them both.

“What do you think you were doing?! You could have gotten yourselves killed!” He looked at Peiter and saw cold Russian indifference staring back at him. Sighing at Scott’s over reaction he spoke.
“I wouldn’t have allowed it to get that far Cyc, you know that. What you rather have happened, for Peiter to go down there alone like he was going to last night and maybe kill someone? That’s how he felt, hell that’s how *I* felt last night when I saw them come back and I’m not as controlled as he is!”

Scott looked at them both, knowing that it could have gone wrong, that they could’ve been killed but it didn’t. They’d been smart, used the territory to their advantage, made themselves out to be the victims and the police had bought it, this time.
“You put the school at risk Logan! You put the kids at risk, that’s what I’m angry at. You didn’t think about the consequences for the people here. Jesus Logan its Christmas and the kids are going to need to go out to the town, you could have made things worse for them not better!”

He tried to keep the growl out of his voice, tried to keep the animal under control as it rose to the surface. He’d been through the wringer today and now he was being chewed out for it, for protecting the school, the one place the kids needed to feel safe in. He couldn’t hear what Scott was saying all he could hear was the blood pounding in his head and the feeling of weight in his hands, the itch of the blades underneath the thin layer of skin. Oh how easy it would be to just shut him up with a slice, one upward thrust and he’d shut that mouth for him permanently. The silence reached him and he focussed on Scott again, he’d stopped talking and was listening to Peiter. His face still showed anger but as he caught and understood what Peiter was saying to Scott he walked away, better for both of them if he did.

He needed some rest, some sleep, some beer and some food. It had been a long day and underneath he had the knowledge that Marie wasn’t here to help him calm down, wasn’t here to touch him, wasn’t here to hold him and tell him he did the right thing. By acting like an animal he’d saved the kids from losing another piece of being a kid, he showed them that they weren’t weak they couldn’t come and pick on them when they thought no one was watching. He’d done his job just as Xavier had asked him to and damn what Scott thought. His claws fired on reflex and he plunged them into a door, the feel of release as he slammed into the solid frame was almost sexual. Relieving the pressure in his body for a moment, allowing him to breathe through the rage, through the animal that was raging under the surface.

Maybe it was fate that led him to the kitchen, to see Hank sat there hunched over a bowl of chilli eating slowly and reading a book propped up on the counter top. He lifted his head as he walked into the kitchen, his amber eyes meeting his and triggering the animal again.
“Any left?” he asked looking at the bowl in Hanks hands. Nodding at the stove where a pot still steamed with the remains of dinner for twenty, feeling the saliva slip down his throat as he smelled the beef resting his hand on the spoon.

“Who made it?” Looking into the brown mass and filling his nose full of the wonderful aroma. Hank put down his spoon and looked at him straight in the eye, “I did. Why?” Nodding to himself he reached for a bowl and began ladling out his dinner. Hank watched him fill the bowl to the brim, licking the remnants off the ladle and put it in the sink. “Hungry?” Hank asked as he walked to the table already eating the chilli in large bites. Seating himself across from Hank he allowed him to watch him eat, well eat was an understatement. To eat you have to taste the food you put in your mouth, he was too hungry to taste, just shovelled.

Hank watched in a kind of detached horror as the bowl diminished in size until there was nothing left but the juices. Scanning round he noticed the breadboard and pulled the rest of the loaf toward him. The remains were mopped up without mercy leaving the bowl almost as clean as it came out of the cupboard. Feeling better he stretched himself back in the chair and felt himself unwind for the first time that day. Hank was still staring at him. “What? Did I drop some on me?”
“I’d hate to get between you and your food Logan, I don’t know if I’d come out alive.” The small joke at his behaviour made him sting a little but it was true. He hadn’t eaten since lunch and he’d been all over the place since then.

The sight of the dinner dishes reminded him of his challenge, looking round and seeing the chore rosta on the wall he looked for Jubilee’s name. She was there, on sink duty but the dishes were still here and there was no sign of Jubilee. “Where’s Jubilee, she’s on dish duty tonight isn’t she?” Hank looked up from his book.
“She took a call around half an hour ago, from Kitty.” The words sank in as Hank had spoken them. Marie was going to call when she got there and he’d been out with Peiter sorting the small shopping problem. Pushing himself away from the table he picked up the phone in the kitchen and patched himself through to the dorm. It took three rings before someone answered and put Jubilee on. “Jubilee, we have a contest to start soon, you’d better get yourself downstairs and get the kitchen clean before I tell Cyc you skipped your duties tonight.” He could hear her mind working it out, if she left the conversation now she could get the kitchen sorted and clean before Cyclops came down to judge. If she didn’t she’d be on dish duty for the rest of the month. Sighing she answered.

“Okay you win, I’ll be down in second. Oh by the way Rogue is on the line waiting for you.” Her voice sounded nonchalant but he knew she was hoping to listen in on the conversation, “Fine patch her through Jubilee, you know how to do it. Then hang up.” He deepened his voice just a little to get her attention and she patched him through after saying goodnight to both Kitty and Rogue. Hearing the click of her handset going down, waiting for Marie to speak. He listened to her breathing on the other end, soft, warm he could even smell her in the room with him even though she was on the other side of the country.
“Hey, how are you?” Her voice sounded tired, sleepy almost. Smiling into the receiver he answered.
“Fine now I know you are, did you get there okay? Kitty’s brother didn’t bother you did he?” She laughed lightly down the line, reminding him of rain on ferns in the forest. Her voice soothing his nerves, settling the animal underneath, knowing she was safe.

“No he was a complete gentleman, all the way to the cabin, well they say cabin but Logan it’s huge! There’s more room here than at home!” Listening to her talk he just let her voice wash over him, settling down on the counter top he listened to her tell him all about the flight down. The small problem with the baggage handler (who wouldn’t let her take her own case), the amount of snow they’d just ploughed through with Kitty’s parents in their Landrover. She’d just finished telling him that they’d had dinner when she finally realised that he hadn’t said anything for a while. “You still there Logan?”
“Yeah.”
“Well aren’t you going to say something?” Catching the note of concern hidden in her voice he answered.
“I miss you.” Not caring that Jubilee had just come in the kitchen, making enough noise with the dishes to wake the dead. He could hear her breathing on the other end of the line, could feel her thoughts even this far away from him.
“I’ll be back soon, it’s only a week.” He knew what she wasn’t saying, the Marie in his head was saying it for him, she’d waited a year for him to come back. Just to come back and see him, not to have the relationship they had now, just to *see* him. She was going to be away for a week, eight days at the most. He felt like a spoiled child but he needed her here with him but he knew she needed this time. So he’d suck it up and be a man about it.

“What you got planned today then? Going out in the snow? Getting the Christmas tree?” Even he knew the light air he was putting on hadn’t convinced her but she didn’t let it show too much.
“We’re just settling in today, it’s been a long day for us all and we’re just having dinner and going to bed.” Behind her he heard Kitty say something to her that made her laugh. “Oh yeah tell Bobby to take pictures of the challenge tonight, Kitty wants to see the results by tomorrow. Don’t be too rough on her Logan, she did make a mistake.” He felt her smile down the line and he wrapped his mind around it, seeking the warmth and comfort he needed from her.
“Yeah I’ll be easy on her,” he heard Jubilee chuckle as she caught the phrase in the room. “But not that easy, a challenge is a challenge and I’ve just eaten chilli tonight. I always get a thirst after a good chilli.”

Turning he caught Jubilee looking at him in the reflection of the windows and she quickly finished wiping the dishes. Turning his attention back to the line he could hear her yawn.

“You’d better get some sleep, its nearly midnight here now. You know how you like to turn in early these days,” the smile crept over his body as he thought of the last few nights and mornings. Yes Marie did like to turn in early but not to sleep. He knew she’d caught his intention when he felt her stumble over her words.
“Well yeah, we do have to be up early tomorrow and I could do with the ‘sleep’.” He laughed down the line. “I love you Logan and I’ll be home soon.” Holding it as close to him as he could and as far away from others ears, he answered.
“Yeah I know, I love you too.”

Feeling a little awkward at revealing such emotion in the presence of others he waited till Marie hung up and stalked back to the table where Jubilee was stacking plates. She refused to look at him, even when he put his feet up on the table right next to the dishes. Hank was still reading his book and seemed to be engrossed totally within it. He decided to push his luck and he moved his boot against the edge of the dishes and gave them a slight nudge making them rattle. He had to hand it to her, she was very calm and almost didn’t look at him. But she did and he caught her scared look, she was frightened of him, of what she’d gotten herself into, the time of night and her own fears of what she might say or do.

Deciding to put her out of her misery he dropped his feet from the table and grinned. “Jubilee are you doing anything tomorrow evening?” She paused with the last dish in her hand, weighing it up gently before she returned it to its place in the cupboard. Her face showed lots of curiosity and her scent was signalling a slight sense of dread.
“Nothing after class, why?”
“I need some supplies for our game. It wouldn’t be fair to do this half cocked now would it?” She weighed the new information in her mind, watching the emotions run across her face as she worked out what he was asking her to do. He was asking her to go *shopping* with him. If she refused he might bring back something so terrible that she’d just die of embarrassment. If she went with him she might be able to influence him, smiling, she accepted the invitation.
“Sure I’ll go with you. Where are we going?” Looking across to Hank who was still engrossed in his book to see if he was listening.
“Rosie’s. It’s a small little place just in the town, it’ll have everything we need for tomorrow night. I think we’ll just keep this shopping trip between us three though, I don’t want Cyc on my case again.”
“Sure Logan, not a problem. I’ll meet you down here after class.” With that she left for her room, looking relieved.

Catching Hanks eyes watching her as she walked away, swinging her hips as she bounced out of the room. Smiling at the glint he found in Hank’s eye he couldn’t let it pass without comment.
“I thought you were spoken for?” A flick of annoyance spread over Hanks features but softened as he realised the jest within it.
“That is correct,” as his fingers strayed to the brown hair that was intertwined with his own behind his ear. “But it does not mean I’m dead from the neck down. Sometimes teaching here can be a little bit of a struggle. Especially as I seem more receptive to the scents that seem to pervade the halls. I wonder sometimes if it would be easier to live in a cave somewhere.” The smile that ended up on his lips was borne from frustration, he understood exactly what he meant. He remembered his first few weeks here and decided to share something of how he coped with it.

“When I first stayed here it was summer, hot sweaty and full of hormones. Girls walking round half naked, young bodies everywhere and every single mind thinking the same damn thing.” Finding Hanks eye he noticed him put the book down and concentrate on his words. “It was all I could do to walk down the hallways without picking up some excited scent of someone or something. It almost drove me insane.” He didn’t mention the night he’d caught himself outside Maries room, about to open the door and walk in, room mates or no. He’d scented her desire for him all day and the animal had waited until he was too tired to resist any longer. He’d managed to walk away, to go prowl the hallways, till he’d bumped into Jean who’d been getting a fan for her and Scott. She’d read the desire there in him and had thought he’d been coming for her, part of him had wanted her but not the part that had mattered.

“How did you overcome the situation?” Hank snapped him out of the memory and back to the here and now.
“I slept in the stables for a week. Started meditating again and whenever I felt the urge I went out to the woods and just sat, watching the world.”
“Ah the Buddhist way, avoidance. I never would have thought you’d use their methods Logan, I had you more of a forward type.”
“Yeah well I’m not as easy to figure out as most people think. Just because I act like an animal sometime’s don’t mean I’m one all the time. Besides, I’ve seen you do a little meditation yourself, the day in the plane? When you found out what had been done with your work, you looked like you were ready to kill someone, anyone.”

Hank’s face twisted as he felt the emotions rise in the room, the scent of frustration rose and made his sinus itch with its strength.
“I didn’t know what they were doing until it was too late. I’d tried to help some get away from the lab but I didn’t do very well. Maybe if I’d had Xavier’s resources then I could have done more but as it was I only delayed the inevitable for them.” Self-disgust and hate burned through him, coming off his fur in waves. Looking at the man, seeing the pain etched in every line of his face, every joint, every hair of his body.

“Were you always like this?” Amber eyes met his. “I mean born with fur? Like Sabretooth?” Hanks eyes cleared a little and a cold indifference settled behind their warmth.
“No, I was born normal. Two hands, two feet, everything where it should be but I was larger than normal. My parents sent me for tests of course to rule out any pituitary defect, they came back negative. The only thing was that I was larger and stronger than most other children, something that the sports coach loved when I was in high school. But seeing as I’d majored in science by then the group peer pressure made the jump from the field to the lab very difficult for me.”

He paused as he raised a clawed hand, turning it in the light as if looking at a specimen. “This was my own doing. Not intentionally I may add but it was a mistake none the less. I’d been working on a formula to stabilise the mutant gene in mutants who were unable to control the changes going on inside them. The research was going too slowly to help anyone, so decided to take it myself.”

He opened his wide arms and waved at his furred torso, “And this is the result. As far as I can tell I still have my strength and agility but now I have the added gifts of scent and sight and an annoying peripheral vision, I know someone is around me when they’re hidden. That’s it, that’s the running totals of my mutations.” He looked at him as if to say ‘and now it’s your turn’. He didn’t respond the way he’d thought he would.

“So you’ve never used your instincts to the full then? How long have you been like this?” He saw the look of surprise in Hank as he asked the question.
“About six months now. It was hard going to conferences about mutation when they were used to seeing a human looking Hank McCoy.” He heard him grunt with displeasure at the comment. “It’s a fact of life Logan, most people see me as an animal now, not a doctor.”
“I don’t. You’re the most human mutant I’ve seen around here for a long time.” Hank met his gaze and saw nothing but the honesty in his words, he looked human but he wasn’t, he didn’t age, didn’t get hurt, never got sick. Seeing Logan as a mutant for the first time, Hank realised how much he’d lost. How much he *would* lose, but he still tried to be human even though he didn’t want to be most of the time. Understanding each others viewpoint Hank watched as he pushed out of his chair and stretched.

“Time for me to hit the hay Hank. You on duty tonight?” He nodded slowly. “Okay take it easy and I’ll see you in the morning. Night Hank.”
“Night Logan.” Watching the small man lope down the hall he reminded him of a wolf prowling his territory before sleep. He looked human but his heart wasn’t and that’s what made it difficult for him and others to understand. At least he could see the prejudice in people as they met him, for Logan they’d always got to know him first before they hurt him. That’s why he was separate from them all still, he had to be until he knew they would accept him as he’d done with them. Being a beast with a human heart was easy being a human with a beasts heart was harder.


Midwinter
*********
Work the next day went quickly, the workers heaved the cut logs to the new site where the cabin would be taking shape over the next week. The day moved with a rhythm that seemed almost hypnotic, from the sunrise to the sunset he worked without thinking. Just doing, allowing his body to work, to lift and heave, to stack and drive, encourage the horses up slope and help them to come down safely. Everyone seemed in good spirits after yesterdays hunting, the shine had returned to their eyes and they seemed more eager to help, more confident in their positions here as workers, as equals.

Dinner had been supplied by the workers, they’d brought a large stew of venison, he’d found a piece of heart and liver had been put on his plate especially. He understood what it meant and nodded his thanks and made sure everyone saw him eat it.

The sunset had been golden and the trucks almost seemed ethereal in the snowfields, as if they were bright toadstools that had grown overnight. They wouldn’t be back now until after the holidays, the snow front that had been threatening had come over. It’d be heavy and deep, not good weather for travel. The days of work they’d managed had given him enough lumber to work with for now. He’d get a good base down but he wouldn’t have any of the walls done until the New Year. Unless he could persuade Hank to give him a hand, he’d be strong enough to move the lumber into place but would he help?

Wiping his hand across his face feeling the frost prickle on his cheek he felt the temperature drop. The sun was weak but it had kept the temperature above freezing, now he could feel the slow drop as the heat was leeched out of the air. Watching the cool blue black as it spread over the sky, watching the band of pale cloud as it came closer. Blowing the cold out of his lungs, watching it plume over the sparkling snow, reflecting the light from the kitchen. Seeing Jubilee waiting for him, sat in the kitchen reading something like a textbook. It was the first time he’d ever seen her still, just sat, not moving or talking.

His heart really wasn’t in the challenge she’d set him, he wanted to go upstairs and curl up in his room. Sit on his bed watch a hockey game and breathe in the scent of Marie that still lingered there. She wasn’t home and he missed her, looking at Jubilee only reminded him of her. It struck him, if she was a friend of Kitty why hadn't she gone to Montana? Why hadn’t she gone with them? He found himself asking himself the question as he opened the kitchen door and was hit by the heat and scent of cinnamon.

Kurt was perched on a stool near the oven his eyes glued to a timer on the front. As if he was counting down the seconds to the second coming, noticing the twitching of his tail in time with the seconds on the dial. A tray of warm cookies sat next to the counter top, all different shapes and sizes, some were stars, some were Santa shaped, some were deer shape, some were just blobs. But they all smelled wonderful and he felt his mouth react to the new alluring scent. Jubilee must have noticed his look because she piped up. “Storm said she’d fry anyone who touched them before she’d had chance to ice them Wolverine so you’ve been warned. She even threatened Cyclops earlier.” He gave her an incredulous look.
“Really?”
“Yes my friend I was there also, she said she’d make it snow indoors for him if he tried.” Kurt turned and looked at him.
“She got you on timer duty eh?” Kurt’s tail moved erratically as he answered.
“Yes Logan, she wants to be sure that no-one takes any before she has chance to decorate it. It’s a gingerbread house. We’re making it for the children.” The grin he showed him was one straight from his own childhood, where the celebrations had been full of light and colour. A celebration of life in the middle of the dark winter.

Settling himself down he asked Jubilee to get him a beer.
“A beer, you sure we’re supposed to be going shopping aren’t we?”
“Yeah we are but by the time we get going the beer will be gone from my system, believe me. It’s hard for anything to last in my system for long.”
“Yeah except Rogue.” The off the cuff comment hit home and he glared at Jubilee, his eyes piercing her through and seeing her visibly flinch under his stare.
“Sorry,” she moved out of her seat and went to the fridge, picking a bottle out of his stash and bringing it back to the table. Just as Scott walked in.

“I’ve got to go for a while, the professor wants to see me about something and he won’t tell me what it is over the phone. So, it looks like I’ll be spending my Christmas in Scotland, I’m taking the jet so you’ll be without it for a while. If anything happens, contact me through the com-link on the jet. I’ll leave it open.” Jubilee sat and listened to the news and her face went through several emotions at once. Happiness at knowing the disciplinarian of the school was leaving but also the dread that he wouldn’t be here for the contest later.

“When do you leave?” Her voice sounded weak and small in the large kitchen. Turning to her he answered.
“Now. I’m packed and ready to go, just thought I’d pop in and let you know what’s going on. Logan, I’ve left Storm in charge of the students, the security program is running so the patrols should keep to the house. I’ve talked to Storm about the weather front coming in and she’s advised me to leave as soon as possible to avoid the worst of it. Well Happy Christmas and have a good New Year, but if you do have a party try to clear up after yourselves?”
He looked pointedly at Jubilee, “No drinking in the dorms young lady. Or late night parties, have I made myself clear?” Jubilee just nodded as the impact of his words settled in on her. “Well I’m off, have fun everyone and enjoy the snow.” With that he left the kitchen for the hanger, Jubilee just grinned. Turning herself back round she gave him a megawatt smile.

“What are you so pleased about?” he had a sneaking suspicion about what he’d just heard but he wanted it confirming for himself.
“Well he said no parties in the dorm, he didn’t say anything about anywhere else did he?” Draining his beer he cracked his neck and stood up. Hearing the little timer go off on the other side of the kitchen watching as Kurt opened the oven door and a blast of ginger and cinnamon hit his nose.
“Come on, we’ve got to get to town and back before the real snow comes.” Turning to Kurt who held the precious tray in his mitted hands he spoke. “Do we need any more supplies before the storm comes?”
Kurt looked up from the tray with barely disguised hunger and greed, “There’s a list and the credit card by the front door, Ororo was going to do it earlier but she got distracted by the baking.” The drool visible on his lips, smiling he thought he’d better remind him of his own advice.
“Remember Kurt, no tasting,” smiling as the man’s eyes looked into his and saw the man’s own torn emotions of selfish need and his duty to watch the baking. “Come on Jubilee, grab your coat. We’re going shopping.”

********************************************************

The drive to town was quiet, a couple of deer walked out in front of them and he’d stopped the truck allowing them to pass. Jubilee was quiet and it unnerved him, she was usually the one who was open, bubbly. Now she seemed a different person altogether. He switched on the radio and they both listened to the saccharin sweetness of the carols that came out of it, even Jubilee screwed up her nose about it and turned it off. The silence eventually got to him. “You okay about coming into town? Do you want to go back? I mean after the other day?” Her face seemed drawn and pale when she turned toward him, her mind showing her conflicting emotions on her face.

“What do you think of me Wolverine?” The question floored him somewhat, he’d just thought she was upset about the Mall but no, this was something else and he could smell her confusion.
“In what sense?” He watched as she mulled the question over.
“I mean as a person. What do you think of ‘me’?” This was dangerous territory, he’d once been asked by a woman how he saw her and he’d told her the truth. All of it and he’d been lucky to keep his sight in one eye. Coughing he had a stab at it.
“Well I don’t really know you that well Jubilee. I can tell you what I see and that’s about it,” He saw the information go in and watched as it was calculated. A decision reached she decided to ask anyway.
“Okay, tell me.”
“What, how I think you are? Or how I smell you are?”
“What?” he knew that would throw her, people never thought about the other sides to themselves, the baser selves that revealed it’s self when they weren’t watching. Knowing he had her full attention now he started.
“Well your intelligent, girly, you love the colour yellow more than anyone sane should. You bounce when you talk, you move unconsciously when you’re nervous, you play with your hair when no-one’s watching, your unsure about things and you're in love with Bobby Drake.”

The last part made her gasp and he turned to see her wide mouthed and shocked. “What? You said you wanted to know and I’ve told you.” She closed her mouth and stared out of the window into the darkness. She stayed like that for a few moments, just quiet and he began to curse himself for allowing himself to get into this in the first place.
“How did you know? About Bobby I mean?” Her eyes were uncertain as they looked at him.
“The nose never lies Jubilee, you smell different when you’re around him.”
“What do you mean?”

How could he describe something she had no idea about? It was hard enough for him to understand it sometimes, it just hardwired itself into his mind. She loves him, he’s attracted to her etc, etc. She saw him struggling to find a way for her to understand and helped him out. “Is it like perfume? Like the difference between knock-off and real stuff?” he looked at her for a second as he negotiated a turn.
“Yeah I suppose so, you just smell different, stronger.”
“Is it a bad smell? Do I need to get rid of it?” he could feel the uncomfortable vibrations emanating from her, that there was something else wrong with her that she couldn’t fix.

“Think of Damask,” he saw her eyes already clouded with tears. Damn she was blaming herself for something that was natural. “Her gift is that everyone can smell her aroma and it attracts people. They find her attractive, it’s a mutation of the natural hormones everyone produces. I just pick them up better, every other animal does. Humans do too but they don’t get them as strong, you can’t hide them Jubilee, it’s natural to have them. People try to cover the truth of themselves with fake scents and all it does is confuse the animal inside everyone.” He could see her turn toward him and he could see her mind working it out.

“So all these expensive perfumes aren’t worth it then?”
“Yeah.”
“So all the adverts and such are just trying to mimic what we produce naturally? But why do we do it in the first place?” Now this could be difficult.
“To get a mate.” He saw the information sink in and her face softened as she understood what he’d said.
“So your saying I should stop using the fake stuff and just smell like me, a clean me of course.” He risked a look.
“Yeah you should, that is if you want to smell as yourself and get what you want. Think of it as a kind of language Jubilee, you don’t need false messages getting through and confusing things.” She almost blushed then and pointed to the grocery store where they had an account.

“That’s where we get our food from.” As he pulled into the car park Jubilee turned to him. “I did wonder why Rogue gave me all her products, is that why?” Just the mention of Marie took his mind back to her scent, rich and musky, like the earth after the rain. She must have caught his look and she quickly moved out of the truck. He grinned and opened his door and switched off the engine.
“Yeah Jubilee, that’s why. I love her to smell of her, not something cooked up in a lab somewhere.” Locking the truck he pocketed the card and the list and headed into the grocery store with Jubilee. “I’m sure Bobby will like you no matter what you wear,” her eyes locked onto his and she smiled. A flash of the old Jubilee, plucking a wire cart she wheeled it to the front doors and waited for him.
“Come on then let see if your nose can find us a few decent veggies.” He made a face and Jubilee laughed in the cold air. “We all can’t exist on meat like you can Wolverine. Some of us don’t like flesh.” So, Jubilee was a vegetarian.
“You’d better not let Bobby know that, he might not want to kiss you,” his hands pulled the shopping cart out of her hands and saw her shocked expression. “Well he’s made of flesh isn’t he? Or is he just snow and ice?” Catching his smile and wolfish glint in his eye she slapped him on the arm playfully and walked into the store.

********************************************************

The lights were too bright and the small grocery was littered with people prodding and poking fruit and vegetables. Children were running down the aisles throwing little pieces of snow at each other, Jubilee was hit by one and just smiled. He got one on the back of his neck, the cold ice water wicking into his shirt, he turned and glared at the small child who’d thrown the ice ball. The kid just smiled and ran back to its mother.

They took their time picking out the food they’d need over the next few days, the list was longer than he’d expected it to be, covering everything that the kids would need over the holidays. Looking at the frozen meat in the butchers display made him feel sick to his stomach. He could smell the fear still on the flesh, the meat would be tough and dry. It looked like he’d be providing the Christmas Lunch, his eyes met the butchers and the man had been wise enough to look away. Growling softly he pulled Jubilee away from the counter and sent her off to pick up the dried goods they’d need.

Walking down the aisles he came across a small display of gifts, the items were handmade and very delicate. Small little soapstone carvings, some tiny beadwork on leather, so small that it looked grown not sewn. Picking up a piece, his fingers tracing the pattern that swept down the small piece of leather. Knowing the leather was deer, soft and pliable, he wasn’t aware of Jubilee until she spoke.
“She likes those,” he caught himself in time not to blush at her intrusion. “Rogue, she likes them. She wanted to know who made them but the guy on the counter didn’t know.” She saw his discomfort and let him go. “I’m going to get the milk and orange juice okay, I’ll be back in second.” Smiling she left him there with the small bracelet, its pattern already etched into his memory. The pattern was a heron, it’s body about to rise into flight, wings spread. The detail was amazing and it really was worth the price on the tag. Holding the small piece he made his way down the aisle and met up with a struggling Jubilee.

The total of the groceries stunned him and he had to hand over the duties of the credit card to Jubilee who seemed a past master at it. The card was swiped and a thumbprint taken from Jubilee, a little green light and a beep and they were paid for. He’d paid for his own purchase in cash, the small piece took nearly all of it but it was worth it. Struggling with the groceries, they made it out to the truck and into the snowstorm.

It took a few minutes to get everything stowed away properly in the back, the snow was beginning to fall heavily and the wind wasn’t helping any. Looking at Jubilee he wondered if they’d make it back, having the school in it’s own grounds was great in summer but the lanes to the school were twisty and very steep in places. Maybe they’d better phone home first, he looked at Jubilee. “Give me your phone.” Jubilee looked at him as if he’d asked her to wear something that was a cast off.
“What?”
“Give me your phone, I need to call Storm.” Huffing to herself Jubilee pulled out her bright yellow phone and pressed a digit, he heard the speed dial kick in and she hummed as she waited for a pick up. “Hi Storm it’s Jube here, Wolverine wants to talk to you.” She handed over the small bright yellow phone.
“Hi Storm, what’s the snow like up at the school? We’ve got it pretty bad down here and I’m not sure about the roads to get back. I’ll give it a go if you think its necessary but if not we’ll sit it out down here.” He listened to Storm telling him about the weather warnings that had come down the line telling him that his instincts had been right to stay put for the night.

The town wasn’t far away and Peiter could come down in the morning with the small plough and clear the worst of the snow. He turned to Jubilee and saw the look of horror creeping across her face as she realised what was being discussed. Snapping the phone closed he handed it back, “Looks like we’re on a unscheduled field trip. The snow’s too bad to get through tonight and by morning we’ll have more light to see by.” Jubilee looked deflated and upset, all the sparkle had gone out of her. “Come on I’ll buy you a drink.” Her head snapped up.
“What?”
“You know, a drink?”
“In a bar?!” Jubilee’s eyes were almost out of her head and a small wicked grin had camped on her lips.
“Yes, a drink, in a bar. Rosie’s to be precise, one of the things that keeps me coming back here.” He looked right through her, daring her to speak. She kept quiet and just grinned. “Rosie’s okay with ‘almost’s.”
“ Almost’s?” Now it was his turn to smile at her.
“As in ‘Almost 21’. Rosie don't take too kindly to police but she ain’t too friendly with the shadier sort either. Rosie is just Rosie. She dont judge and just keeps the tab going. She knows she’ll get it out of you sooner or later.”
Turning the key in the truck he could almost smell the beer from where he was. They’d be safe from the storm and they’d get to keep their appointment. “Besides you owe me a challenge and I can’t think of a better place than Rosie’s to do it.” He listened to Jubilee’s protestations all the way there about why they couldn’t and why they shouldn’t. After a few minutes of listening he decided to give his opinion.

“You were the one who started this Jubilee, you were the one who opened your mouth without thinking. All I’m doing is taking you up on it. Besides at Rosie’s you’ll have a safe place to be ill in. It’ll not be the first time I’ll have slept there. You wanted to know what I thought of you earlier Jubilee and I told you, don’t make me a liar.” She was silent for a while and he could smell her indecision as she fought over something in her head. Coming to a decision she spoke.

“Do you know what my mutation is?” Taking his eye from the storm outside the truck for a moment to look at her he shook his head. “I can use electricity, a plasma burst as The Professor tells it. I’ve never been out of the school when I’ve lost control of it. And I don’t want to do anything stupid, I mean what if I get drunk and start shooting holes in the walls? Or I give someone a shock? I don’t want to hurt anyone.” Slowing the truck to a crawl he looked over to her and saw Jubilee with her head in her hands and tears forming in her eyes.

“Hey, what if you just have a good time? I mean it can’t be that bad to have fun or you’d have destroyed the school by now. Maybe you’re just worried that you’ll look an idiot when you’re drunk or do something you’ll regret tomorrow.” Her face bloomed and her scent peaked sharply, that was it, it wasn’t what he’d thought. She was worried about him, now that Marie was away and she was here alone with him, would she want him to do anything and would she try to when she was drunk? Smiling he understood the complex smells and scents he was picking up from her, he pulled into the small tarmac car park of Rosie’s Tavern. “Don’t worry about it Jubilee we’ll see what tonight holds and if we end up sleeping in the truck I’ll keep you warm.” Winking at her as he saw her blush from the feet upward.

********************************************************

Rosie’s tavern was old by american standards, the roof had been repaired more times than the walls, the shingles on the side replaced and faded by the sun to a pale grey. Rosie’s looked like a house that had been turned into a bar, which it had nearly 80 years ago.
Pushing open the heavy door the familiar smell of the bar rolled over him. Untying the knot in his shoulders and easing his trepidation about bringing Jubilee here. Rosie was serving a few customers down the end of the bar and she turned to see who else the storm had brought her. Smiling when she saw who it was. “Logan you old dog, when did you get back? I haven’t seen you for around six months. The last time you were here I thought I’d have to sell up and go into wholesale.”

Jubilee pushed her way past and gave him a stare that ran him through, he’d forgotten about that. He’d almost come home six months ago, the thought of being away had been too much for him, he’d needed something, someone. But he’d ended up at Rosie’s and had almost drunk the bar dry over three days. He’d spent nearly every penny he’d had on trying to avoid the pain he felt, to drown the pain he felt at the loss of everything. Seeing the Professor in the town had settled matters for him, he left the same day putting as much distance between him and the school. He was still hurting and he couldn’t, wouldn’t allow them the see it. Jubilee just stared through him as she made her way to a small table and sat down. He decided to avoid the question and went straight to Rosie.

“Hi Rosie.” The woman in front of him was what most would call ‘homely’, large, soft faced and with a smile that could charm the angels. Yet underneath she had the strength of at least two men and she knew how to make a single touch hurt so bad that you’d wish you’d never been born. Rosie was an old time barman. One who just keeps it coming and makes sure you don’t die from the abuse, as she’d said before ‘death is bad for business’. Moving away from her other customers she moved down the wooden bar and pulled out a bottle from underneath it. Placing it in front of him and leaving a small glass by it, she smiled.

“Kept it for you Logan, no-ones even touched it since you were last here. A bottle like this has to have only one owner, besides I’m not sure anyone else could handle it.” She noticed his eyes and the stare that was piercing his back, “Don’t mean to intrude on your business honey but the little lady there doesn’t seem to like you much.” Looking at Rosie he read her plain emotions, she was concerned enough about him to care. Over the years he’d met a few bartenders who seemed to enjoy his company and Rosie was one of the best.
“Yeah she’s from the School, she didn’t know I’d been here six months ago. They haven’t seen me for a year.”

The words settled on the room like the snow outside settled into the cold air. Rosie leaned back and understood with a glance at Jubilee.
“I thought you said her hair was brown with a white streak?” Snapping his attention to Rosie’s eyes she knew the mistake and was about to apologise when he answered for her.
“No Rosie, this is Jubilee,” he turned to show Rosie her new customer. “She made a very rash challenge to me the other morning,” Rosie’s eyebrows arched. “She said she could drink anything I could brew, so we were going to do this at the school but the weather has forced us into your bar. So Rosie what can you brew up for a ‘almost’ that won’t get me lynched in the morning and won't get her so drunk so quickly that she won't remember anything?” Rosie smiled and had a good look at Jubilee, weighing her up in her expert gaze.

“Come here honey, I wont bite you.” Jubilee pushed her chair away from the small table and walked toward the bar, her slight frame seeming to be dwarfed by the large wooden bar. “Now what do you like to eat? I always think that you should drink something that matches what you love to eat, so what is it? Hamburger girl or fruit salad type?” Pointedly ignoring Logan she smiled at Rosie and answered.
“I’m a vegetarian so I eat plenty of fruit and vegetables but I love coconut and creamy stuff.” Looking sideways at the small woman next to him he realised she’d changed from the kid he’d seen stuffing herself with junk food a year ago to someone completely different. Rosie mulled over the choices she had in front of her.

“We’ll try you on a Baileys first. Then if that’s a no we’ll go onto the spirits. Somehow I think beer isn’t your thing.” Smiling at her as she poured out a measure of a creamy liquid into a glass and handed it over.
“Start a tab Rosie, we’ll be here for the duration.” Nodding she wrote down their drinks.
“You wanting anything to eat?” Looking over at Jubilee who was still exploring the taste sensation in her glass he nodded.
“Yeah Rosie what ever you can rustle up the storms pretty bad and we’ll be staying most of the night.”
“If it’s as bad as it sounds Honey you’ll be here all night. The spare room is still set up so you’re welcome to use it,” her eyes took in Jubilee who had almost finished her glass. “Which ever of you needs it first.” Laughing she walked into the back of the bar to the small kitchen.

Looking at Jubilee he saw her eyeing up the possibility of another drink, but he squashed that thought and pulled her back to the table. Pulling her arm out of his grip and sat across from him, she was still angry with him.
“So you were here 6 months ago huh? Do you want to know what was happening at the school 6 months ago? What Rogue was doing 6 months ago?”
He looked her straight in the eyes and watched as she shrank back a little. She rallied and stared back. “Rogue spent almost three days searching the damn town for you. She said you’d been here, she’d felt you and that you needed her. She spent nearly a week looking for you, her studies went out of the window all she could think of was you. She even snubbed Kitty and the Professor had to come and collect her when she couldn’t find you. She thought she’d gone mad, that she couldn’t trust what she felt or saw anymore. It was a hard time Logan.” She used his name like a weapon, slicing him to the bone with her words.

“You weren’t there when she fell apart again after the incident with Bobby.” Her own emotions rose when she spoke about that. “You know he knew that he wasn’t her first choice you know, she was waiting for you to come back and when she thought you had, she just went. She left, leaving us all wondering what had happened, that is until the Professor found her.” She toyed with the glass in her hands, the alcohol already finding its way into her blood, firing her senses, making her more bold than she would have been normally. “They found her next to a dumpster. She’d been searching through it, looking for you; she'd had a crazy idea that you’d been injured and put in it. That’s when the Professor took her home.”

The hurt she displayed was almost tangible and he felt even worse now he knew what he’d put her through. She had been with him here, he had been in the dumpster, a couple of bikers had had a discussion with his face and he’d ended up in there for a night. That was the day he’d seen Xavier and had decided to leave again. She’d almost found him and she never knew.

Jubilee saw his head drop as he worked out all the pain and suffering he must have put Rogue through. “She loves you, you know. Ever since Liberty Island we noticed it but I guess she’s been interested in you since you touched her.” His eyes met up with hers. “Not with your hands, with those.” Jubilee tapped her own knuckles and the gaps in between. “She had a fascination with them afterward and you should have heard the amount of questions we had to suffer every time we mentioned them. Yeah she loved you from the beginning, Bobby was only a stopgap and he knew it. Poor Bobby.”

Noticing her feelings and how her scent had become stronger at his name, he decided to push the issue, going to the bar he paid for the bottle of Baileys and brought it over.
“Go on tell me what I missed, all of it, every stupid little detail so you can beat me over the head with it. But we’re going to drink to each month I’ve been away. So we’ve done one, there’s another eleven to go. You think your upto it?” Jubilee looked at the bottle and her small glass and nodded.
“Sure but you’ve got to finish your own drink first.”

Looking at his glass, the amber liquid sat in the tumbler like resin. He knew its taste and how much it managed to get to him, it was the only thing he’d found that touched the depths when he needed it to. Holding the glass he threw the contents back into his mouth and felt the sear as the fire went down his throat. Jubilee smiled as she saw him wince with its heat.
“It’s meant to be sipped Jubilee, slowly not thrown back like this.”
“Okay then you sip for each day you weren’t here, for each day you left Rogue to wait for you. That a deal?” He found her eyes and poured her another drink into her glass.
“Deal.”

********************************************************

They’d gotten upto April when Jubilee started to look a little drunk, she’d filled him in with all the relevant detail about Marie. How she’d waited for the first month near the garage, hoping to hear the bike’s engine. How she’d withdrawn herself into her shell again, that was until Xavier had given her some duties in the small day crèche he ran in the spring and summer. Small toddlers and babies who were born different from everyone else, at first she’d said no because she might hurt them. That was until she’d seen that everyone in the crèche wore gloves and long sleeves, the kids were sometimes born with claws or spines, so they needed protection from them, she’d blossomed then.

Showering love and affection on them all, bringing her out of her depression but she still sat by the gates every day. Sat under a tree, reading or writing in her journal. Jubilee made sure he found out about that little piece of information, her journal. She’d once sneaked a look at it and it had been filled with dreams and impressions of where he had been. One entry had caught her attention and she’d repeated it to him verbatim. “Lost in the swamps again, feeling free, nothing holding me back, nothing to feel, able to be what I am. Buck naked and happy.” It had been around the end of March and that was exactly where he’d been. Louisiana to be precise. He’d followed the fight circuit for a while and he’d ended up being dumped out in the swamps, he’d lost a few group fights and they’d decided to give his body back to nature. So he’d wound up naked and lost in the swamp feeling free for the first time in a long time. Nothing to hold him, no one to care about, nowhere to go, just to be.
He needed to see that journal, to see what else she’d gotten right.

Jubilee filled her glass again and watched as the information sank in, every detail being turned over by his mind watching as it became etched into him. She was creating a history, writing the story of Rogue that he didn’t know. Jubilee knew he loved her even before he left, even before he knew it himself. He’d looked at her with longing in his eyes, not the same as the lust he’d shown as he’d watched Dr Grey. Dr. Grey’s attraction to him was animalistic, it wouldn’t last but Rogue, his eyes had always sought her out, always managed to find her in room.

Watched her tiniest movement even when he hadn’t been aware he’d been doing it, she’d told Rogue about it lots of times. All she’d done was blush and say that she was stupid. But she’d been right all along, he did love her and he’d shown it in the smallest of ways. Before he’d left again he’d spent a full day with her, just shadowing her, sitting in on her classes, not making himself over visible but there none the less. She’d bumped into him that day, he’d been watching her eat with Bobby and Kitty. His face had scowled at her for interrupting his view of Rogue. Lifting her glass she decided to tackle him about that.

“Why did you scowl at me the day you left?” The comment almost floored him faster than the triple distilled Brandy could. He’d forgotten about that day, the day he’d run away. He’d followed Marie all day, shadowing her, seeing she was okay that she didn’t need him to look after her. He remembered bumping into a kid wearing yellow, not realising until now it had been Jubilee.
“You were very mean to me that day Logan, just because I made you move so I could get by with my lunch.” Some of her words were slurred but she was holding herself quite well. He looked at her hurt expression and a small amount of guilt pushed to the surface.

“I didn’t know who you were then Jubilee.”
“Yeah I know, no-one seemed interested in me. Only Kitty and Rogue, the mansions babes, one who couldn’t be touched; the other who was so perfect she could be the poster girl for mutant kind!” He saw the hurt bloom under her smile. “No invites for Jube’s, just a hanger on, a third wheel. The obligatory chink at the party expected to be intelligent and witty.” She downed the glass and winced at the burn of the creamy whiskey. Her eyes sparkled with tears at the edges, “You know I used to watch you.” She saw the shock cover his face for a moment. “Yup, the great Wolverine never even knew I was there. Just like everyone else.”

A single tear rolled down her cheek. “You know how easy it is to be a vacant lot Logan? When everyone expects you to be one? Just because I came from L.A, everyone just wants the Valley Girl. The little airhead with the great shopping sense, the one who knows how to shop, paint nails, talk about the latest trends and actually think it means *anything*.” The tear tracks were being filled moment by moment, she allowed them to stream down without blinking. Watching them fall he felt the ache from her, the crushing loneliness, the shell she’d built around her.

“You know I still have nightmares about the raid? Even now I have to sleep with the door locked, I even have a tazer under my pillow. Although not many people know that so shhhh, keep that to yourself.” She winked and poured herself out another. “What month are we upto?”
“Me I’m still in February, you’re onto June.” Her eyes went wide as she realised.
“Ah June. Swimming season! Oh that was fun for around ten minutes.”
She snorted and drank half of the glass in front of her. Rosie came over and deposited two plates of food on the table and Jubilee gave her a smile and picked up the wrapped knife and fork. “Thanks Rosie!”

Rosie looked at the half drunk Jubilee and the tear stains and gave him a look. He just shook his head and she patted his arm and walked back to the other customers at the bar. “See even Rosie feels sorry for me.” Jubilee pointed with her fork at the retreating form of Rosie, putting the fork down on the salad in front of her. “Why do they do that?” His silence prompted her to continue. “Why do they feel sorry for me? It’s not as if I’m like some of the students, I can wear what I like, do what I like, I’m not a threat to anyone? Why do people hate me?”

Picking up a piece of food and eating it he answered her.
“Because they don’t know you Jubilee. You hide behind what you want them to see.” She stopped her fork halfway to her mouth and slowly put it back down. The distance between them had just expanded expedientially, the temperature between them had just hit subzero temperatures.
“Well your one to talk about that, Mr ‘I don’t need anyone’.” Her eyes flashed with anger as she speared more salad on the fork, angrily shoving the laden fork into her mouth and chewing hard on the leaves.
“Yeah well, when you’ve been through as much as I have you’ll understand that sometimes it’s better to be on your own.”

She snorted and finished her mouthful. “Really? Then tell me that you don’t need Rogue. That you don’t love her and haven’t thought about her all day, that you don’t need to see her, to hold her, to fuck her again.” An angry blush had crept up her face and her scent had changed to distress, she was hurting and she was going to make sure he did too. Her voice raised higher, “Go on tell me that, tell me you don’t give a shit about us. That you don’t care about what happens to us, that the soldiers could have taken us all and you wouldn’t have cared. That the rest of the world would be free of us all and you’d be back with Stryker where you started!”

She realised what she’d said just as it left her lips, the quiet in the bar seemed to stretch out forever. “Oh Logan I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he just put down his fork and kept his eyes on the plate in front of him. Feeling the prickle of tears behind his eyes, feeling the weight of guilt on his already tired bones. He’d *wanted* the answers, he’d wanted to find out who he’d been until he’d seen it reflected in Stryker’s face. Then he knew what he’d been, he’d been a killer, an animal, nothing more. A dog on a leash that had once been a wolf, free and able to make his own choices, he knew his memories were old, he had one which seemed to be from the Second World War. But was it real?

He didn’t know but if it was, there were others older than that one. Breathing out slowly, controlling the pain he felt he looked up in time to see Jubilee bolt for the door. He just missed her coat and she was out of the tavern quicker than he could move. “Damn!” Fighting his way out of a drink induced warmth he felt the blood in his body fizzing as it burned away the buzz he’d been trying to get all night. Pushing open the door he was met by the full brunt of winter, he found her two feet away collapsed in a snowdrift. Curled up into a ball crying, Christmas really was a great holiday it brought out the best in folks and the worst, including him. Grabbing her arm he pulled her out of the drift and back toward the bar. The last two customers were coming out, shuffling as Rosie pushed them out of the door and held it open for him and Jubilee. Rosie locked the large door as they went back to their table. “There we go, no more suicide runs tonight missy, the doors locked and I’ve got the only key. I’ll be in the back if you want anything Logan.” She patted him on the back going behind the bar and left them to the remains of their dinner.

He held her still for a moment before he let her go, she just stood there, eyes downcast and snow melting on her clothes. “Jubilee.” She didn’t respond. “Jubilee, look at me or so help me,” his voice showed his annoyance and her face registered the fear she felt and he felt her shrink away from his bulk.

The truth of her hit him, she’d been a runaway, a street survivor like Marie, most of the kids from the school were. They’d been at the bottom of the pile and were expecting it to carry on that way. Some of the luckier kids like Kitty had a family that understood, were willing to work with the school. Jubilee had no-one, not even Bobby yet. She’d needed him too, like every other kid there. How many times had she watched him? Needed to feel that he was there to reassure her that things weren’t as bad as before?

He scanned her eyes seeing the fear there shining out at him, wondering if he was going to hit her, his nose picked up a deeper sense of dread. He knew what that meant instinctually and he just pulled her to him. “I’m sorry.” He wrapped himself around her feeling her struggle against him, reminding him of Marie, of Damask and every other kid at the school. He was their protector, their weapon against the dark and he’d left that behind when he’d gone. Never thinking about them what he was doing to their minds, taking away a piece of security they’d needed. He saw Rosie back at the bar and she pointed upstairs, he got her meaning. The room was ready whenever they wanted it, Rosie cleaned down the bar, switched off the beer lights and made her way out of the room.

“I hate you.” The venom was real in her voice, the depth of it made him shudder inside. “Why did you leave us? Why did you leave Rogue? We needed you!!” He felt her tears soaking through his shirt, angry and hot. She stopped struggling and just cried, cried for herself, for the nights laid awake listening to Rogue cry for hours, for the fact that she had no one who really knew her. For the fact that she hated Kitty for having everything she didn’t, for the fact that she needed him more than Rogue did. Rogue knew she had his heart, she knew he loved her and she carried a piece of him with her no matter where she went.

He pulled her down on to a chair with her sat in his lap, his arm still cradled around her, pulling her head into his shoulder. Just holding her there with him, letting her empty herself of it all, all the pain all the hatred. Feeling her break apart as the poison flowed out of her with every tear, allowing her to listen to his slow even breathing like a new born. After a while she stopped crying, using the sleeve of her coat to wipe her eyes. “I’m sorry Logan.”

She pushed her way out of his arms and stood away from him. He just sat there watching her try to apologise for being human, for having emotions she was allowed to have. Getting out of the chair he walked over to her and held her tightly, this time feeling her hands reach around his back and grip hard. As if he was the only solid thing around, he could feel her need for him, he could smell it and the animal drooled at the thought. But no, she wasn’t Marie and he wasn’t hers. Touching her hair, Jubilee looked up at him, the need in her gaze almost tangible. “Come on Jubilee, time for bed. We can do the next six months another time huh?” He felt her heartbeat skip as he spoke but she saw the meaning and she just smiled. “Sure Logan.”

He knew the way and took her to the small room, it was warm, comfortable and had a bed made up in it. Rosie was a practical lady, she knew what the winters were like and the delivery drivers sometimes stayed overnight because of the weather. He settled Jubilee in the small bed and took the chair near the door, she watched him settle down in the old armchair before she turned over and sought some sleep. He watched her fall asleep, the slow even breathing of someone who was exhausted, both physically and mentally and no longer had to hide it.

********************************************************

He heard Rosie before he saw her and turned his head to see her walking down with a couple of steak sandwiches and a glass of Brandy each. She motioned to her back room and he nodded in reply, leaving the door open he walked the couple of feet that separated the two rooms. He found Rosie sat at the small dinette table eating her sandwich with gusto, sitting down across from her he picked up his own and bit into it. The taste of the beef made him growl and he ate as Rosie laughed. “I swear Logan you make me wish I had another husband. Any man who loves food like you do has to be good in bed.” Finishing half of it he put the rest down and took a drink, his gaze meeting Rosie’s and seeing the mischief sparkle there.
“If you were my wife Rosie, you’d have been bankrupt years ago.”
“Maybe so, maybe so but I’d be a happy bankrupt with you in the bed!” her laughter was warm and rich, flowing over him and soothing the pain he’d been through tonight. She saw the depths of the wounds and calmed her voice.

“How are you doing Logan? Last time I saw you I thought it’d be the last honey, I really did. Even with your peculiarities you were hitting the bottle hard, you know me Logan I’ll serve you till I think you can't take it. But you were out to die then, what happened? And what’s with the kid?” He looked up into her face and considered how he would tell her, when he hadn’t really been honest with himself yet, so he started with Jubilee.

“She’s called Jubilee, she’s from Xavier’s and that’s about all I do know about her Rosie, except that I know she’s been abused, punched, raped and god knows what else.” He took another drink and leaned forward toward Rosie. “I made a mistake Rosie, I never should have left in the first place.” She saw his collapse into despair, turning his hazel eyes dark with it.
“But your back now aren’t you? You’re sticking around, I mean the last time it came to Christmas you never even showed your face here. Even when the rest of them came down to have a party, you stayed away.”

He remembered that, the invite had been made by Xavier to come and celebrate Christmas with them all in the Tavern. He’d left the same night, packing up his stuff and just going, the snow hadn’t been too bad that year, almost nothing. It had been easy to leave, to think that he wasn’t coming back, that they didn’t need him or want him around. Only recently had he found out how much they’d missed him, how much of himself he’d left behind in the eyes and hearts of others.

“They drank your health you know,” the comment stopped him dead. He looked straight through her as if she’d told him she was a man. “No, seriously Logan they all drank to your health and wished you a happy Christmas, no matter what you were doing. Although the guy with the visor wasn’t too complimentary about what he thought you were doing.” Her smile made him wonder exactly what Scott had said but it didn’t matter now. All that mattered was that he was here and that Marie was coming home in few days. He leaned back and drained his glass, feeling the brandy do its work on his senses. Taking the edge off the pain, dulling his sharpness to the world, he saw Rosie’s eyes soften and she got up and moved round the small table taking her plate to the sink.

She turned back to the table and saw him watching her, his face shrouded by pain and guilt. A hundred days of pain etched in each eye, self-loathing and guilt stretched across his brow weighing him further. She knew what he was, she’d listened to him rant and rave, the nightmares he couldn’t hold in any longer, she’d listened and been the closest thing to family he’d ever had.

Rosie.

His rock, his healer, the one who left him to do things his way and never asked him why, never felt disappointed in him, never hurt him, just accepted what he was. The words fell from his lips as she saw the mask he was wearing break in front of her. “Rosie, I..” Then she was there, holding him close to her side allowing him let go, feeling him break down, opening the wounds and releasing everything he’d been holding onto, everything he couldn’t tell Xavier, everything he’d done while he’d been away.

Rosie just held him, hugged him and soothed the pain that burned through him. She was his confessor, the one he could be weak with, that’s why he’d always come home. Even if the school failed and the world turned bad he’d still come here, still coming to find Rosie and be held. They made an odd scene, a man in his prime holding onto an old woman who could have been his mother if they both didn’t know the truth of it. He was older than her but it didn’t matter, she was here and she let him get rid of the hurt, to remove it all and feel better.

Stroking his hair as he held her he told her about Marie, his voice becoming stronger and more even as he talked. Telling her about the plans for the school, the new assault course and the workers they’d hired. Moving his head away from her hip she sat down again, seeing the brightness back in his eyes, the smile back on his face, especially when he talked about Marie.

“Do you love her?” The question was honest and he did his best to answer truthfully from himself.
“Yes Rosie I do. She got me when I wasn’t looking, I found out when I was half a world away and as low as I could get.” He told Rosie all about the trip back with Damask, how he’d come to terms with the fact that he was in love with Marie. That he’d always been in love with her, ever since he’d found her that day hiding in his trailer. “But Rosie, she’s only 21. Sometimes I feel so old Rosie. I know I’m old enough to be her great grandfather but I still need her!” Rosie laughed at him struggling with this and he felt himself get angry, snatching up his now empty plate he took it to the sink and growled under his breath.

“Oh Logan don’t get mad at me Honey, it’s just that you can be such a jackass sometimes! Do you honestly think she sees you like that? Honey she sees you as you are now, the wonderful vibrant man you’ve been for the last few years. Not the old whore monger, or the cage fighter, she sees the man who rescued her, the man who touched her when no-one else would, you stupid fool of a man. That’s what she sees every time you see her. Damn and I thought you were smart, you know shit about women that’s for sure.”

Her rich laugh made him smile as he replayed the looks that Marie had given him over their short time together and damn it if she wasn’t right. She loved him no matter what he looked like, no matter if he was old enough to be her great grandfather, she loved who he *was*, not how old he was. She’d catch him up eventually and they had all that time together to get used to the fact too. He turned round to see tears rolling down her face and the care worn smile stuck to her lips. “I’m off to bed Logan, the bottle’s on the bar if you want any more. I’ve had enough for tonight.”

Her eyes sparkled with amusement. “Fancy keeping an old lady warm in her old age on a cold night?” He laughed at her familiar taunt.
“Nah, you’d only wear me out Rosie, you know that. I’ll sleep in the chair, it’s safer.” Hearing her laughter as she went up the stairs to her private rooms, listening to the deadlock catch and her footsteps across the ceiling.

Rosie was his private little rock, the one person who knew the man he was trying to be. The one Stryker and his men had tried to erase, he’d come to the bar the night after he’d come round from the battle on Liberty Island. He’d been angry, looking for a fight and he’d found one in Rosie’s bar. He’d almost killed two men that night, he’d had a knife in the ribs and back and Rosie had carried him back to the small room he was in now.

She’d been cleaning the wounds when they’d healed in front of her, she hadn’t questioned him, just let him out of the back door and gave him a new shirt. He’d come back the next night, to pay for the damage he’d done to the bar. She told him not to be stupid and just warn her when he was in a bad mood and she’d throw him out on his ass. She’d made him laugh then and he’d warmed to her, she didn’t ask any questions, she just let him tell her why he’d done it. Over the weeks he became a regular there, always sat at the bar, sometimes wanting to talk other times not. When they’d lost Jean he’d been down a lot, leaving when the dawn came, just drinking till he couldn’t feel anymore. He’d spoken to Rosie about Jean but even she’d understood that it wasn’t the same feelings as the ones he’d had for Marie, there was something inside Marie he needed.

Jean was someone else’s and she always had been, even before he got there. He did it for annoyance value more than anything else in the end, he just hadn’t admitted it to himself. He loved to see Scott get his back up about him being near Jean, sniffing around her, making him realise how much he really loved her. Just by being there just by being annoying. Smiling he thought about the last time he’d seen them happy, they’d been in the office looking through adoption papers, Scott had adopted a couple of children whose parents had given them over to the school entirely. He’d given then his name ‘Summers’, he couldn’t be their real family but they could build one with the people there at the school. The kids could start again with a new name and a new place to live, even though he hated himself on one level for this but he admired that in him. He’d give them his name, a new chance to try life again.

Putting his glass in the small sink he switched off the light in the small room and went back to the room where Jubilee was sleeping sound for the first time in months. Settling back down his mind went back to the other day, when he’d seen Marie leaving for her trip. Knowing that she loved him and she’d be back soon. Drifting into sleep he felt the same brush of a hand through his mind as he had earlier that day and shrugged it away. Not knowing or caring who or what it was, only that he was tired and he was at Rosie’s, safe, warm and comfortable. If he couldn’t have one kind of comfort, he’d have the best replacement for it. Smiling he drifted off into his own private dreams of a cabin on the southern slope with no worries about soundproofing.

He woke to the smell of bacon, the scent making him realise how much he’d missed over the last few days. There was church music on the radio and he realised it was Sunday, that meant it was the 21st, only four more days and she’d be home. Stretching himself in the chair he noticed the bed had been made and Jubilee was nowhere to be seen. Listening to the sounds coming out of the kitchen he heard Rosie’s deep throated laugh and a sharp squeal from Jubilee. Ah that’s where she was. His mind picked over the last nights events and the realisations he’d been made to face upto. He had been needed more than he’d ever thought, just by being there he’d made a difference to their lives.

Well, his stomach rumbled and the smell from the kitchen was making it hard to concentrate on anything else. Shuffling to the kitchen he was met by the sight of Jubilee trying to juggle juice, pancakes and a plate full of bacon to the small table. Quickly he caught the plate of bacon before it fell to the floor and put it down on the smooth Formica surface. Rosie smiled as her eye caught his and saw the save of the day. “Morning Logan.” His eyes met up with Rosie’s and he smiled, the warmth he felt reflected in his smile.
“Wow Logan that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you smile.” He turned his gaze to Jubilee and just winked as he plundered the plate of bacon and stuffed the still hot pieces of pork into his mouth. Licking the grease from his fingers he answered her.
“Just has to be the right person Jubilee at the right time and this morning at Rosie’s, bacon and the scent of good coffee is enough for now.”

Rosie nudged Jubilee and got her to sit down at the small table. The pile of pancakes was put down, with cheese, syrup and butter, even a small piece of steak left over from last night was put on the table. “Thanks Rosie, let me know what we owe you and I’ll settle up later.” She waved his comment away like an annoying wasp.
“Don’t be so damn stupid, you’ll have to dig us out this morning anyway. Call that payment enough. There’s enough snow around your truck to make a good sized snow slope, the phones are down but your mobile should be working, mine is."

He stopped halfway through a pancake and just stared at her. “What? You said I should get one and I did. The thing is damn handy, especially when I’m doing the cellar and can’t get back up the stairs.” Jubilee watched the banter between them both, Logan arguing that she needed more permanent help and her arguing she just needed a decent cellarman. One who wouldn’t rob her blind.
“Well there’s always a few kids at the school who need extra money. We don’t all save the world you know, some of us just want a normal life.”

Her comment cut through their discussion about her business and how she should be more careful with all the trouble that had been around lately. Rosie looked at Jubilee and weighed up the idea, if she did take on someone from the school they’d get the cash and she’d get someone who would be honest. Cellarwork was the one place you could make money if you knew how to cheat, but if she could train them up maybe she could have someone to leave the place to when the time came.

“Yeah I can see that honey,” her eyes weighing up the slight female figure in front of her. “Who would you have in mind?” He just kept quiet and finished the food in front of him, stealing pieces of bacon from Jubilee’s plate when she wasn’t watching. Jubilee mulled over the thought, who would she recommend? Peiter was definitely X-Men material as was Bobby but Carl might be upto the task. Quiet, resourceful, calm and his gift would be a bonus in this line of work, he was an empath picking up the emotions of others and soothing things before they got out of hand. He’d come to the rescue of several classmates after the raid, helping them to soothe their dreams and fears, what better than a barman in the town?

Thinking it over she answered.
“Carl.”
“Who’s Carl?” Logan's eyes pierced her through, looking for a clue of involvement. She caught it and sneered.
“It’s not like that Logan, he’s an Empath, he picks up feelings and helps you to calm them down. He’s been quite a help with the younger students over the last year, he even helped me out a couple of times. He’s about to leave the school and he doesn’t have anyone to go to, I’m sure if you talk to him he’d be interested in it. He likes it round here, he originally came from Ottawa I believe. But I’m sure you’ll like him Rosie.” She felt Logan bristle at her words, as if he was being challenged by a younger man for his wife. Rosie caught the wave of feeling and slapped his shoulder.

“Get down you old dog! You can’t tell me who I can hire and who I can’t.”
“But Rosie, you can’t just hire anyone anymore, the way things are going you have to be careful,” he never got to finish what he was saying.
“Now listen here Logan,” her voice had a steel edge and was directed straight for him. “I may not be the most capable of people but I do know a good offer when I hear one and if I want to hire this Carl then I damn well will. Having an Empath round here might be useful, having you around is good for business too, no-one fights anymore when they know you’re in here. It ain’t worth it but maybe this Carl could stop em even before they think it, now that’s all I’m going to say on it Logan and your not going to tell me what to do.” Her fist slammed down on the tabletop making the plates rattle, her face was red and her cheeks were almost scarlet. He looked up into her eyes and saw her defiance staring right back at him. She may be getting on in years but she was still in control of her life and she was damned if she was going to give in on stuff now.

“All I’m saying Rosie is that he’s a young man and you might want to check him out first. Not everyone’s as good a bed warmer as me.” The corners of his mouth were raised in a half smile and she caught the joke and laughed loud, filling the room with it’s rich sound. Jubilee just sat there not understanding what had happened, how the conversation had turned from polite and calm to serious and then back to humour. She just shook her head and turned to her plate noticing for the first time that half of it was missing.
“Hey did you steal my bacon?” She looked him square in the eye and saw him wink as he pushed out of the chair and shrugged on an old overcoat and picked up a shovel near the door.
“Yup, I need it more than you do. That is if you want to get home today Besides I thought you were a vegetarian?”

With that he just walked out the kitchen leaving Rosie laughing and Jubilee complaining about his eating habits. Today was going to be good, his belly was full, his heart was lighter than it had been in weeks and Rosie may have found someone she could rely on that wasn’t him. Hefting the shovel he unlocked the front door and was met by a wall of snow, plunging the sharp edge into the drift he got started, feeling the soft loose snow slide away. It wouldn’t take long and they’d be back home, maybe he’d come back later with this Carl and make sure Rosie was happy with the kid before he let him work here. He wouldn’t let her know what he was doing but he guessed she’d figure it out anyway, he cared about her and he didn’t want them to cause her trouble. If the F.O.H were in the neighbourhood she needed someone who could blend in, not make waves, look normal. Well it’d sort itself eventually but he just wanted to be sure she was making the right decision for her and the kid.

******************************************************

They arrived back at the road to the school at around 10am and saw the small snowplough coming down the road being driven by Peiter. He waved at them both and had a huge grin on his face, when the way was clear they all drove back home. Jubilee smiling at the brightness of the day and the amount of snow that had fallen last night. Parking the truck in the garage he was met by Kurt, his tail lashing from side to side as he picked up some of the bags of shopping out of the back. His nose caught an undercurrent coming from him and he looked at the little man as he struggled with the paper bags.

“You okay Kurt?” Catching his eye and noticing the small darker patch on his skin, a bruise. His bright eyes locked onto his and he felt the air change in the room, Jubilee picked up her bag and walked off with it, totally oblivious to the exchange that was happening in front of her. They both let her leave and he walked closer to Kurt, sensing the anger burning in the man in front of him. “What’s happened Kurt? How’d you get the shiner?” Kurt’s tail lashed the cool air, showing his emotions his head dropped away from his gaze and his tail dropped limply to the floor.
“It’s nothing Logan, nothing to worry about.” He could smell the lie all over him and he felt his body stiffen as he heard the heavy footsteps of Hank coming down the path to the garage. He picked up on the fear that Kurt tried to hide as he bamfed away with the groceries, leaving him with Hank picking up the other bags quietly. Hanks own emotions tightly controlled and his movements a little stiff, there was a fresh bandage on his hand that covered the palm. About the size of a bite mark. He put two and two together and got it confirmed when his eyes met Hanks, the guilt was plain for him to see and scent. Something had happened last night, something that he should have been here to stop.

“Okay, what happened last night? Kurt’s just gone as if his tail was on fire, what happened between you two?” His question was met by nearly open hostility, the control slipped from his grasp and he saw the Beast under the skin of Hank. Breathing slowly through his teeth, he felt the man gain control of himself again, felt his own instincts kick into gear as he watched the struggle in front of him. Breathing back under control he answered.
“We had a slight disagreement. That’s all Logan, it’s nothing to worry yourself about.”
“I’ll be the judge of that, I’m in charge of our security here and I need to know what’s going on. I get stuck in town for a night and I end up coming back to see two of the adults acting like adolescent boys. What happened, he look at you the wrong way?” Hank glared at him and he saw the effort it took to control his temper.
“No nothing like that, Kurt and Ororo have just announced their engagement.”

The sentence hit home, he’d seen the looks that Hank had given Ororo and now he’d been pushed out completely from that relationship. He wouldn’t even joke with her now, she was someone else’s and he was just an animal again. He almost touched him but the snarl that came from his throat made him think twice. “I’m sorry Logan I have to go.” He just dropped the bag on the garage floor and ran out of the garage, his tracks easy to follow in the fresh new snow. He watched as he went past the tree line and up into the hills behind the work site, he’d find him later he had food to put away first and Kurt to check on. Jubilee had returned to pick up more food and looked at what he was watching. “Where’s Dr McCoy going?” Her voice snapping him back to the now. He looked at her smiling face and the lightness in her eyes, he wasn’t going to burden her with this.
“He’s gone to find us a suitable tree for the rec room, time we got the tree don’t you think?” At hearing the news her eyes sparkled and she squeaked excitedly, picking up the bag Hank had dropped she grunted with the weight. As she shifted the bag to make it easier to carry she caught his eye and smiled devilishly.

“I know something you don’t, something wonderful.” He smiled as he listened to the news of Kurt and Ororo’s engagement through Jubilee’s eyes, they’d already told the Professor and the other students. She was bursting to tell him the extra piece of information that she alone knew. “I’m going to be a flower girl! At the wedding, I’m going to get to be in it!” Her voice had reached his threshold of pain now and she squeaked as she ran into the kitchen with the bag. Following after her his eyes met the sight of Ororo and Kurt holding each other. Love obvious in every touch and movement between them, coughing lightly he gained their attention.

“I understand congratulations are in order.” He saw the blush creep over her skin and the swing of Kurt’s tail sped up a little. “I should go away more often for the night if this is what happens. Maybe we’ll find the kids have all done their work chores for the day and are just slacking off.” Ororo met his gaze and laughed, its rich sound filling the room.
“Logan the kids are fine, they’ve been doing their assignments in the library and the rest of the day is theirs, what’s left of it.” With that she looked out of the window and watched the sky turn pink, even though it was only 12 noon. “After all Logan it is the solstice, the shortest day.” Kurt pulled Ororo closer to him and made her giggle.
“Ah yes but that means it’s the longest night too.” The meaning wasn’t lost on him and he laughed as he put the food away in the cupboards. Just as he’d finished loading one cupboard Ororo asked the question he knew she would.
“Where’s Hank?”

Jubilee answered before he did.“He’s gone to pick out a tree for the rec room. We’re decorating tonight!” Her face was lit by the thought of having a real tree indoors. “We always had a plastic one when I was younger, do they really smell all that good? I mean do you get bugs as well?” The thought of bugs suddenly made the idea of a plastic tree sound good. Ororo laughed.
“No child, the bugs are dead by this time of year.” He had to add his own little piece of humour to the whirlwind of thoughts going through her mind.
“Yeah but you’ve seen National Lampoon haven’t you? What if we get a squirrel?” Jubilee just stood there and looked shocked, the realisation that he was making fun of her slowly making its way across her features.

Laughing deeply as he saw her smile at him and threw a packet of chips at his head. “Hey next time make em plain okay?” as he threw the cheesy snack back at her. Pushing himself away from the cupboards he turned to Kurt and saw the relief in his eyes. He hadn’t told Ororo how he’d got the bruise and he wouldn’t either. Ororo noticed the lack of meat in the shopping and looked pointedly at Jubilee.
“Where’s the meat Jubilee?” Her tone seemed a little sharp and he butted in.

“I didn’t buy any, the meat was old, tough and wasn’t good. I’ll go get us a dinner today, what do you want? We still have deer out there, boar, turkey, what do you want me to bring back?” Ororo gave it some thought.
“Maybe we’ll try Boar and Turkey this year. That is if you can get them both Logan?” Smiling he let his claws slide out of his fists, bringing them up to his face.
“Of course I can, what kind of hunter would I be if I didn’t know where my quarry lived?” He smiled a wolfish grin and saw Ororo blush as she saw the hunger burn up in his gaze.

Seeing her squirm against Kurt he laughed and went to get a shower and into some fresh clothes. Then he had to go hunting something a little bigger than boar and he hoped he’d find him before something else did. They needed all the predators they had and he didn’t fancy having to track and kill an injured wolf or black bear.

Nadir
*****
The sun was low on the horizon when he finally caught up with Hank, his trail had been easy to follow, huge wide tracks, long strides that showed he used his hands as he ran. Almost on all fours as he went flat out across open ground, he found him resting under a huge pine, his clothes folded neatly under the overhang keeping them dry. Watching as the steam rose from his fur, listening to his breath, scenting his frustration, his rage.

Keeping himself low he moved closer, listening to the mans heartbeat and sensing that he knew he wasn’t alone but he didn’t trust his instincts as well as he should. He could see him put it down to the animals around him, allowing himself to relax again into the trunk of the pine. Moving quietly he crept up on him, being around three feet away before he spoke. “You‘re quite easy to track Hank, you might want to do something about that if you want privacy.”

Hank started and his eyes narrowed in the half light, taking in his form and relaxing back, making no effort to cover himself from his gaze. Using the opportunity he took in the full shape of Hank, from his thick muscled legs, sloping backward like an animals so his toes took the full weight of his body. To his large barrel chest and the huge shoulders that almost covered the trunk of the pine he was leaning against.
“What do you want Logan. I came out here to be alone, I don’t need nursemaiding. I’m fine.” The scent of annoyance was rich in the air, blending in with the sharp tone of the pine. Crouching down he answered.

“You don’t look fine. What happened Hank, why’d you hit him?” His amber eyes blazed their annoyance at him.
“Is that what he told you? That I hit him? Maybe I should’ve then he’d maybe realise not to play games with me.” Confused he looked at him, reading the scents coming off him. Guilt mixed with anger but also need as he remembered the night before.
“So tell me what happened.”
Hank shifted his bulk making the top of the pine sway as he made himself more comfortable on the pine needles under him.

“I was in the library putting books back after the last lesson and Kurt was putting up the last of the decorations on the walls. His tail kept brushing against my fur, I asked him to stop it and he just carried on. He rubbed all over my back Logan, he even wrapped it around my throat.” He could feel the heat rising off him as he remembered the feelings and the air was suddenly rich with musk, a heady scent mixed with the clean scent of the pine. Feeling his own animal rise to the scent in front of him, tightening his own control over the drive he could feel creeping up on him.

Locking eyes with him he saw Hank pick up on his own excitement and he carried on. “I lost it. All the months of keeping myself under control lost, I just grabbed him and he bit me.” His amber gaze boring into his as he realised that it wasn’t Ororo he’d been after, it had been Kurt. “Every time someone brushes past me Logan, every time I get touched. It’s like an exquisite torture Logan, I can’t get rid of it.”

He thought about it, every time he showered, every time the wind blew across his skin, every single hair on his body hardwired to his senses. No wonder he’d been so stand offish with everyone, always a little behind everyone else, he didn’t want them to touch him just in case. Kurt had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Instinct was a bitch especially when you tried to reason with it.

So here he was out in the cold, trying to ease the frustration he felt but he knew he couldn’t until he did something about it. He’d have to find a way to deal with it, looking at his hands he saw the ridges and claws, the thick skin covering them making delicate sensation an impossibility. Hank caught his gaze and pulled his hands up for him to see better in the growing gloom. “Not exactly surgeons hands are they? I can feel sensation with them but its about half of normal.” The answer to his question being presented to him about why he hadn’t eased the pressure himself. “If I could I would, all it does is wind me up further. I don’t have the fine motor control I used to have.” The wry grin that covered his face never reached the sorrow in his eyes.
“What about…” he never got the chance to finish the question.
“Could you see the headlines? I could. ‘Local genetics expert caught in brothel raid, held for questioning along lines of 'animal abuse'.” Scenting his frustration as it wound up a notch at him being so close to him and breathing in his own distinctive scent, a mixture of excitement and curiosity.

“How long?” Hanks amber eyes hit his and he found himself seeing the need being spoken without it ever leaving his lips.
“About a year now. Nothing, I’d always concentrated on work. I thought it didn’t matter till six months ago, when I changed, when it all changed.” Huffing Hank laid his large hands on his knees and looked at Logan with barely disguised hunger, knowing that Logan himself had felt the same as this too many times before not to help. The first tear fell from his large eye as Logan touched his face. “I never meant to hurt him Logan, I just needed to touch someone, to be touched.”

Bringing himself closer to Hank he felt the large arms wrap themselves around his waist and pull him onto his knees. The cloud of pine scent blooming under his nose mixing with the warm musk of the body in front of him. Feeling his own excitement at being held so close, so tightly his hand running down the smooth blue/black fur of Hank's chest, feeling rather than hearing the rumble that came from Hank as his hand moved downward. Spreading his fingers wide, allowing the sensation he knew he was causing to widen out from his movements through the thick fur.

Feeling Hanks hips move upward unconsciously need overpowering his sense of thought, of propriety, just wanting the touch of another on him. Allowing him to find the release he’d needed for so long, the smooth touch of his fingers as he found his already rock hard erection.

Logan had to ask him, even though he knew the answer he had to ask. “Do you…” he never got to finish the question as Hanks mouth met his and he knew the time for questions had past. Grasping him tightly in his palm he could feel the smooth ridges and raised bumps on his shaft, the whole length was ridged. Any woman would love to feel this inside her, to feel the strength of it, the power as he bucked into his palm. Bracing himself against the tree he managed to tear his mouth away from Hank and take a breath, his eyes were on fire. The amber of them alive with it and he could hear his claws sink into the bark behind him, his other hand holding his neck. Feeling the claws sink into the skin, pricking him and feeling the welling of blood under the tips.

Feeling his own animal rise to events that were happening, feeling his own need begin to boil through his blood. To feel the fur on his skin to wrap himself around it to lose himself in it, growling he moved to Hank’s neck and bit down. Feeling the shudder that went through him as his teeth sliced through his skin, bringing blood to the surface of his fur. Speeding up his thrusts as he neared his peak, until he squeezed his palm tight, making him slow down, making it last. Lifting his head away from his neck he kissed Hank again, giving him a taste of his own blood in his mouth. Hanks rough tongue chased the taste round his mouth making him growl with his hunger for it.

Releasing him for a moment, he shrugged off his coat and shirt, straddling his thighs. Feeling the hard muscle bunch under his own as he took his weight easily, watching his eyes fill themselves on his own body. Feeling the rough pads of his fingers as they traced over him, wincing as the sharp claws dragged across his flesh, leaving trails that healed almost instantly. Just leaving the blood marks behind, which Hank moved to clean from his skin seeming to glow against the snow.

Watching the amber eyes as they traced each line of red as his tongue followed each one, its rough surface making his skin goose with its touch. The warm breath on him more erotic than he could have ever imagined, feeling the large canines brush past his chest making his heart speed ever faster and the ache in his groin all the harder. Taking Hanks large hand he pushed it against his own erection and reached for Hanks own that stood between his thighs. Leaning forward toward him, pushing his own groin into Hanks already straining erection, rubbing the length along the back of his own hand as it opened his trousers. Feeling the cold air on his sensitive skin he hissed as he felt the heat of Hank rub against him, as each little ridge and bump moved against his own smooth skin.

Feeling hard to keep in control of his instincts he growled harshly in Hanks face and watched as his eyes narrowed in response. Understanding the feelings that were raging through him, mirroring his own, locked together with each others hands wrapped around their respective erections. Moving as one, feeling each touch, each moment of friction, sliding against each other, gaining ground quickly, knowing they’d both follow the others movements. Relishing the feel of Hanks warm fur against him, the feel of his ridged penis and the warmth of his breath, the scent that seemed to fill him, surround him, smothering him. Feeling the familiar tickle of his own release he pulled Hank to him and kissed him, grinding against him as he felt himself come over Hank’s fur.

The scent bloomed and he felt Hank stiffen against him his hand sinking into the pine bark, listening to it tear away as Hank thrust against his body. Feeling the warm heat spill over his stomach and listening to the soft purr that was settling in his chest and reverberating through him. Hank pulled him closer to his chest, holding him tightly, feeling him rub himself against him, warming up his goosing skin. Hank moved his other arm down from the tree and wrapped it around his back, just holding him there, rumbling into his chest.

Feeling the tiredness slip through him and into Hank, as the sun slipped down under the horizon, starting the longest night of the year. Running his fingers through the blue black fur, wondering if this was a thing he’d want to do again, if he could.

Lifting his head he caught the half closed eyes of Hank and saw the smile etched on his lips. “Hey Hank, thinking of letting me go sometime this year?” Hank rumbled and opened his amber eyes to stare at him, the full realisation of what had just occurred hitting him square in the mind and seeing him recoil from it, as if it was something to be ashamed of. Quickly he let go of him, the cold rushing into places where moments before he’d been warm, held close to a warmth he really didn’t want to separated from. Pushing against his chest he pulled himself upright, walking a few yards he scooped up a handful of snow and brushed it across himself, cleaning his skin. Hank watched him, as if wondering what to do now, sat there with all his emotions running rampant, the moral issues and the consequences filling his mind.

“Don’t think Hank, just get dressed, its getting cold.” The large man took a handful of snow and rubbed himself down, wincing at the sharp ice that had formed on the crust. He shot him a look as if to say ‘you could have warned me’ and he just laughed. Bending to pick up his shirt and coat, Hank took hold of his arm and he looked him straight in the eye. Logan could see the man was having difficulty understanding what had happened, was trying to rationalise it but he couldn’t. Putting his hand on Hank's large cheek he tried to explain it for him in a way that he could understand.

“It all comes down to instinct Hank, you see what you want and you take it if you can. That’s all it is, it isn’t sex, it isn’t even *human*, it just *is*. Stop trying to make it something it isn’t, you needed I gave and you gave in return.”
“But you have…” he didn’t finish the sentence, he didn’t need to.
“Yeah I do, but she knows me Hank, I’d never let anything come between what we have, we’re each others but she knows me Hank, she understands my instincts. I will tell her about this and she’ll be off with you for a while till she comes to terms with it in the way I do. You were hurting Hank, if it hadn’t had been me who would it have been? One of the students, Ororo, Jubilee, Kurt? I’m the nearest thing to what you are Hank and you can’t hurt me, not physically anyway.”

Pulling his coat closed he looked at Hank as he dressed himself again, hiding the magnificent figure he was in shapeless clothes. “You know where to find me when it gets too much for you Hank or until you find someone who can cope with the rough.” His eyes flared at the mention of the feel of his penis, showing a little discomfort. “You’ve got to be comfortable with who you are first Hank, then everyone else will be.”
Hank knew he was telling him the truth of the matter, that he’d tried to deny the changes that had taken him over.

That he wasn’t the same man he’d been six months ago, he was the Beast and yet he had a mind too. Maybe he should try to mix the two, try to get the best of both worlds instead of running away from both. He looked at him stood in the snow, his self-assurance shining out of him like a light. That he could lie here in the snow with him, give him the release he’d needed for so long and not ask for anything but reciprocation and that he accepted it without question. No doubt, no self-hatred, just understanding of his needs and how to get them met. Xavier had been right he had a lot to learn from Logan.

Walking out into the failing light he caught up with him and spoke. “Where did you say I’d gone?”
His eyes twinkled catching the remainder of the light. “I told em you went to find a tree for the rec room. We’d better find one and bring it back. I’ve got to come back out later and get the Christmas dinner, Ororo wasn’t too happy at not finding any meat on the table when we unloaded the shopping.”

His smile lit up his face as they walked back to the school, about half way they found a suitable small spruce. It took a few pushes from Hank and the young tree came up root ball and all. Cocking his head to one side he weighed up the weight of the tree and looked at the barely sweating Hank.
“Hank do you know how strong you are?” The question seemed stupid but as he moved around to try and pick his end up he realised he couldn’t. Hank picked up the root ball and was only just beginning to sweat. “I think we need to get you to the gym and find out. I can’t even lift my end and I can push 250 on a normal day.” Smiling at the compliment Hank pulled the tree back across the open lawn and into the garage where Jubilee was just about to climb onto a snow-ski.

“Hey your back, we were getting worried. It’s nearly 4, you’ve been gone a long time, everything’s ready for the tree in the rec room.” Jubilee looked at him and his empty hands. “I thought you were going to get the Christmas dinner?” He looked at Hanks retreating form and smiled at her words.
“I will be Jube’s, a mans got to get the priorities right though hasn’t he? You wanted a good squirrel free tree and that’s what we found. Good tree’s take time.” He saw the calculating look she was giving him and knew she didn’t believe a word of it but she left the line of enquiry. Climbing off the snow-ski she walked over to him and her nose wrinkled up as she approached him.

“What is that smell? You smell like you fell in a skunk bath!” Pushing him away from her he laughed out loud as she retreated back into the school to watch the tree be placed and decorated. He scented Kurt just before he coughed to let him know he was there. “You know Kurt your scent is always stronger when you’re stressed out.” He turned to see the small man, his tail lashing the air in frustration and his eyes curious. “Next time Kurt when the man asks you to leave something alone do it. It’ll be safer for everyone.” He moved quickly from foot to foot, almost dancing in front of him.

“You’re not mad at me?”
“Why what else have you done?” The small man looked nervous for a second and then became calm. He had done something but what he couldn’t tell, the little man was very evasive at times. Kurt cleared his throat and moved closer to him, touching his coat and pulling his ear down to his mouth.
“There’s something waiting for you in your room, I was asked to go and pick it up for you. Ororo sent me to get it, after she got a call from Xavier. Something important.” He looked at the little man and saw the nerves he was trying to hide, whatever it was had shaken him and he wanted to find out exactly what this thing was.
“Thanks Kurt.”

Bolting from the garage he ran through the halls of the school, his mind wondering exactly what it could be. Why Ororo would risk sending Kurt out to get it whatever it was? It must be important to send him out into a storm front that hadn’t even left the state yet. Passing the rec room the room filled with the small crowd of pupils, all trying to get at the tree at once. Every hand holding a trinket or bauble they wanted to add the boughs.

Taking the stairs three at a time he caught a familiar scent, its richness pulling at his core but she wasn’t here, she was in Montana. A sudden unbidden vision came to mind, Marie ill or injured laying in the infirmary but why did Kurt tell him to go to his room? Finding the door slightly ajar he flung it wide, feeling his breath coming in gulps, fighting past the lump in his throat.

Marie was laid on his bed, her foot raised up on a pillow, her bag at the side of the bed. “Hi honey I’m home!” Her eyes were bright and she seemed okay as he raced over to her and hugged her tightly to him, breathing in her scent. The animal checking her out, matching the scent he had to the one in front of him now. It was her alright but why was she home? She caught his confusion and just pointed at her ankle. “It broke, so I’m back. I called home and asked if I could get someone to pick me up.”

He looked at the foot raised on the bed, the dressing around it didn’t look enough for a cast.
“But if you broke it, you should have a cast on it. Why haven’t you got one on yet?” She smiled and he caught a subtle shift in her scent. She played with his hair as she answered him.
“Well they couldn’t give me an x-ray so they just bound it up for now. Its only a hair line fracture so I thought I’d come home and let you wait on me hand and foot till it heals.” She smiled at him as he worked out all she’d need from him was a quick touch and she’d be better. “Oh there’s something else you need to know too,” she pulled off her glove and touched his face with her bare hands. The smooth skin on her fingertips exploring his sideburns, feeling the hairs roots, tickling him. Watching his face as she explored him.

“It happened when I was away, I had this really odd dream with someone in it, they showed me where the switch was in my head and how to use it. So I can touch you Logan. Whenever I want, whenever you want.” Her smile was almost lecherous as he struggled to compute all the information she’d just given him. He began to kiss her face, all over her forehead, touching her as if this was dream that he’d be made to wake up from.

Slowly something she’d said dawned on him, they hadn’t given her an x-ray, or they ‘couldn’t’ give her one. If they couldn’t that would mean that, she saw the realisation dawn on him and her eyes sparkled.
“Hey dad.” As she finally saw the information sink in and be processed into his head. He just sat there feeling so many things, so many questions, so many different emotions vying for attention she decided to speak for him. “They took a blood test, they always do these days apparently and I found out sat in the x-ray dept. I phoned the Prof first and he got Scott to radio here and Kurt brought me home. No-one else knows yet but you and the Prof.”

He watched her face as she calmly told him that she was going to have his child, ‘his’ child. He felt the floor go out from under him and he had to sit down on the bed, a thousand thoughts emptied through his mouth. Tripping over the words until he stopped making sense and Marie put her bare fingers to his lips quieting him. “Now take a breath and calm down. We have to discuss this Logan.” Her eyes filled with a quiet seriousness that he hadn’t seen before.

“Are we going to have this baby Logan? I mean I didn’t think it would happen so soon and I know we joked about having kids but we never really discussed it did we?”
He could see her trying to be the adult here, trying to understand if he said no and he wanted to wait, he could feel the turmoil inside her. Trying to be brave about it, she was young and she had all of her life ahead of her but he was old enough to cope with what she couldn’t. Rosie had reminded him of that and he just kissed her without her having to concentrate on keeping her gifts separate from him. Feeling her relax under his grip and just melt into him, knowing she was getting exactly what she wanted, what she’d needed. She was his and he was hers, she was pregnant and it was definitely his, definitely theirs. He’d always wondered if he’d ever left women with children but as he’d passed through places again and never seen them towing kids he’d just thought that he’d been unable to, till now.

Shuffling her forward, he got on the bed behind her, wrapping himself around her small form. They talked all night, about the future what had happened over the few days that she’d been away. About Hank and the incident with Kurt and what he’d done to rectify it. She hadn’t gotten into a state she’d just nodded and that told him that he’d have further discussions about this later but they had more important things to discuss.

When the dawn finally arrived Marie was half-asleep and he was holding her curled up form in his arms, her foot forgotten for the moment. He’d come through the winter, through the longest night and come out the other side, from here the days got longer. The sun got a bit higher and he began to think about what he had wrapped up in his lap and the little growing bundle she had under his nose. It looked like Rosie had been right all along, he was here to stay this time, he had something to stick around for. Settling down on his bed holding the one thing he knew that kept the darkness away he slept in first rays of the new sun. Painting his room walls a rich red a colour that no longer held such fear for him or jealousy.

Drifting off to sleep he never felt the hand drift across their heads as the thoughts of Jean left them laid together. Finding the peace he’d sought for so long in the arms of the one who’d really loved him from the day she’d found him. Moving with the warm wind she left, finding her way back to Muir Island, where Scott waited for her in bed.