It all started with a dream, like the dreams I usually had, only this time it was different in some ways. I awoke from it with feelings of doubt and uncertainty, feelings which had not played on my mind for a long time. The dream went as usual, only the feelings experienced in it were not love and tenderness, but passion, danger and urgency. Most importantly, this dream was different from usual, because instead of Remy, I was with Logan.

It shocked me that I could dream about another man whilst lying asleep in the arms of my fiance. It also shocked me that I would dream of *Logan* of all people. It shocked me that I liked it. A lot. Shit...

---

I'd never noticed how much Logan flirts with me. I guess before I was with Remy he considered me too young, and whilst I was with Remy I didn't notice it. I *am* with Remy. Why did I say 'was'?

I stopped for a second and thought about Remy, whom I loved, and who loved me back. He was all I wanted, all I needed, and definitely enough to satisfy my appetite. So Logan had a crush on me, big fucking deal.

Only that night he decided to show me just how serious he was about me.

I was sitting in the kitchen at 2am after another weird nightmare that had left me unable to go back to sleep. I was sipping on a cup of cocoa when I heard footsteps behind me, and I turned to see who it was, thinking it would be Remy, coming to see where I had gone. Only it wasn't Remy. It was Logan.

He winked at me, and grabbed a beer from the cupboard in the corner. He then came and sat opposite me, on the other side of the breakfast bar.

"Can't sleep?" he asked

"I could ask you the same thing."

I replied, trying to avoid answering him. He knew I'd been having nightmares - we'd bumped into each other more than once in the kitchen in the early hours of the morning.

"Yeah, well I guess that makes two of us" he said, taking a swig of beer.

He put his beer down and stared intently into my eyes. It made me feel uncomfortable, and so I turned away from his gaze. He sighed, and began to speak.

"Marie-"

My eyes quickly flicked back to him, and I searched his face for any clue of what he was about to say. Hardly anyone used my real name, so I figured he must have wanted to get my attention.

"Yes?" I urged him on, quietly, not sure whether I wanted to hear what he had to say.

He paused, before looking me directly in the eye and asking "Are you happy with Remy?"

I must admit that took me by surprise. At first I just opened and closed my mouth, not knowing how to answer him. Remy was my fiance, we loved each other, and had no reason to doubt that. Yet Logan continued to stare intently at me, a serious expression on his face, waiting for an answer.

"Of course I am" I replied "He loves me, Logan. Maybe you don't know what that means."

Okay, so maybe that was a bit harsh, but I was shocked.

Anyway, he looked a little hurt and said,"I'm sorry Marie, I shouldn't have said anything. Forget I mentioned that, okay?"

I nodded silently, suspicious of his motives, but then I stood up and went over to the sink to empty the remains of my cocoa down the drain.

"You were wrong about one thing though" His voice came from behind me, and I turned, a surprised expression on my face. I was curious.

"What was that?" I asked.

"I do know what love means, it's just that maybe we both have a different perception of what it is... and who you find it with."

My jaw dropped a little, and I raised one eyebrow questioningly at him. "Are you trying to say something Logan? Because I can tell you now I'm happy with Remy, and I love him very, very much. So please don't try and complicate things."

With that I placed my mug back in the cupboard and walked out of the kitchen, back up the stairs and to my room, where Remy would be waiting for me.

I got into bed and thought about what had just happen. How dare Logan try and ruin what I had with Remy? I was perfectly happy in this relationship, and what I didn't want was an affair. It was dangerous and risky, and that just didn't appeal to me. Not at all.

Oh fuck it, it appealed to me a whole damn lot.

---

The hallway was dark, with only the dim light from the full length windows plunging across the corridor and stopping inches from my bare feet. For a fleeting second I wondered what the hell I was doing standing outside Logan's room in my nightdress in the middle of the night, but compared to what I was about to do, that seemed pretty fucking normal.

I'd spent the whole day thinking this over, crying some, smiling some, until I had come to the conclusion that this was the wrong thing to do. But then I figured I needed a bit of excitement in my otherwise insipid life, and that maybe I wanted to do the wrong thing for a change. I wanted to take a risk, and to be adventurous, in order to counter the security and tenderness with which Remy was slowly suffocating me.

My knock was barely audible, but it was only a matter of seconds before Logan appeared at the door. Had he been waiting for me? He raised his eyebrows in bemusement.

"I thought you said-"

I placed a finger to his lips to stop him before he mentioned Remy's name, and together we backed into his room, closing the door behind us. I went over and settled on the edge of his bed, and he approached me with a slightly weary look.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"Extremely," I replied in a whisper as I arose and put my arms around his neck, and he kissed me. It was like nothing I'd felt before, and the danger of the situation, of being caught, was like adrenaline to me, and I was hooked after that first kiss.

As the kiss intensified I ran my fingers through his coarse hair, and he began to unbutton my nightshirt, his hands moving rapidly, hungrily. Once it was off he moved his kisses lower, quite roughly, kissing first my neck, and then moving down to my bare breasts. I gasped in shock as he bit my nipple, and slumped onto the bed, where I quickly took off his white vest and began to unfasten his jeans. I could already feel him straining against the tough denim, and that feeling of desperation, that need for haste was a new experience for me.

Remy had always taken things slowly, but as Logan rapidly kissed and caressed me all over, I began to lose control, and I needed him more than ever. He was like a drug, and I was an addict, after that one night.

He looked up at me, once more with that questioning look in his eyes, and it was all I could do to reassure him that I wanted this more than anything. I wanted him around me and inside me, and I could tell that that was convincing enough. He rolled me over so that he was on top of me, and as I arched into him I felt a sudden rush as he penetrated me. If I'd thought that kissing Logan was like nothing I'd felt before, then this feeling beat it by far.

For one wavering second I felt myself lose control of my powers, and Logan gasped in shock at the sudden sensation hit him, as though I had taken a part of him. Which, I suppose, I had. He gave me a second to regain control, and when I nodded at him, he began kissing me once more. I pushed my hips towards his, urging him to thrust deeper and faster into me, the hunger for speed and power had overcome me.

We both climaxed together, him grabbing my shoulders and I digging my nails into his back as I once again lost all control of my powers. Only this time, Logan seemed too engrossed to notice, or to care. Breathing raggedly I lay my head on his muscular chest and rested. A few minutes later Logan touched my cheek with his hand and moved my face up, so that I was looking into his eyes.

"Should we?" he asked, with a glint in his eye.

Well I guess that's another point in Logan's defence -regenerative powers...

---

The reality of what I'd done hit me the following day, and I had a complete crisis of conscience, trying to figure out why I'd done it, and to evade the feeling that I wanted it to happen again. The sensations I had felt with Logan were different to those I felt with Remy, and although I still loved him, I felt that I needed something else as well. It was like something had been missing from my life up until this point, and now I had discovered it, I should be happy. But I wasn't. Logan was good for sex, no-strings-attached sex, which was my intention when I first decided to go through with it. But there was a major flaw with my plan. I was in love with him.

Remy found me crying in my bedroom. Although he asked me what was wrong, I couldn't bring myself to tell him. He knew I was upset, but he had the intuition not to push me into talking about it, which I appreciated. He tried to comfort me, and all I wanted was for him to wrap me in his arms and hold me. That night we made love; that's one of the differences I've found in them - Remy made love to me, Logan fucked me. I just didn't know which I preferred...

He kissed me gently, softly nuzzling into my neck and running his hands up and down my back. I kissed him back, trailing a finger down his chest to his waistband, following it with my tongue as he ran his fingers through my hair. I unfastened his jeans and pulled them off carefully, taking my time. Then as his fingers continued to run through my hair, I took hold of his already hard cock and gently stroked it from base to tip. I looked up to see him closing his eyes and whispering for me to carry on. He gasped sharply as I licked the head with the tip of my tongue, and then again as I took him into my mouth.

He soon put a hand on my shoulder to stop me, and I moved my head up to meet his mouth once more and kissed him, massaging his tongue with mine as I lowered myself down onto his erection. I shuddered as he slowly and gently thrust into me, and I rested my head in the hollow of his neck as the rhythm continued. We moved together, holding tightly to each other, and as my orgasm hit I gasped and held on tighter to his shoulders. Moments later he came, moaning my name as he held his head back, and then I lay down next to him, one hand resting on his chest and we slept.

As always I was left with the impression that he genuinely cared for me, and wanted to protect me. I guess that was one thing that both of them had in common. I realised that night that I needed that feeling of security, and that I had taken it for granted before then.

---

Two days later I went to see Logan again. I couldn't help it, it was like I was addicted to him, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't resist it any longer. This routine went on for a few weeks, my nightly visits to Logan, while Remy comforted me when I was upset, not knowing what it was that I was upset over. I had the love, security and tenderness of Remy, and the danger and passion of Logan. It seemed my life was complete, apart from the constant worry about getting caught, and the internal struggle which I was feeling between love and guilt.

I was in love with two men. I knew that at some point, I'd have to decide which one I wanted to stay with, but the thought of making that decision seemed too scary, and so it went on like that.

After three weeks it started to all get too much for me to take. I was lying next to Logan after one of our meetings and I realised that I had to do something about the situation. Something had changed, and I no longer felt comfortable seeing both men at the same time. Not only was it not fair on them, but it was tearing me up inside.

I really thought I was having a breakdown. I cried silently at night, the tears streaming down my face as I stared into the dark looking for answers, whilst wrapped in the embrace of Remy, or Logan, both of whom were unknowingly ripping my heart in two. I couldn't take it much longer - the sneaking around, constantly worrying whether Remy knew, whether he could smell him on me, whether my expression had given me away. On the one hand, I had one steady relationship with a man who loved me, and was kind, gentle and caring. On the other hand, I had a guy who I went to for a quick fuck, and was treacherous and erratic. I knew what I had to do.

I had to end it.

It took some convincing and a lot of comforting, but in the end I think he accepted that it had to end. Although he was a little pissed off at me, I thought that after a few days he'd come round. I left him alone in the lounge to think it over and headed upstairs.

And so I stood once more outside the door of the man I loved, ready to let him know that he had me all to himself. I knocked lightly on the door and waited patiently outside, until it opened, and Logan's muscular frame stood in the doorway, so enticing and totally unbearable. He raised an eyebrow at me, and I smiled at him, stepping into his room, closing and locking the door behind me.

Yeah, so I chose adventure over stability. Well, a girl's got to live a little!