Christmas. I don’t get it. Never have. All the lights and trees and kids screaming wild like and running all over the place while their parents chased after them, looking almost as wild and crazed. It all seemed like one big ass headache to me, something I sure as hell wanted no part of, so I spent the Christmases that I could recall hold up in a rundown hotel room, eating chips and drinking beer and if I was lucky, I could find a woman just as disgusted by the holidays as me to hanker down with.





Of course, all that was before I met a little brown eyed, sassy mouthed, little southern bell that called herself Rogue but admitted to me her name was actually Marie.





Shit. Gave the girl a ride, my life was turned upside down. Suddenly, the big and the so bad Wolverine is totally addicted to going out of his fucking way to make that sweet yet charmingly annoying little girl smile.





Course, Marie, she pulled a fast one on me and she didn’t stay small.





Not that she was like five years old and hitching through Canada when I met her, she was nearly eighteen and already possessing that kind of beauty that you just know will never faded, but I managed to get myself to see her as a kid.





Called her kid.





Saved her life. Gave her a tags. Told her I’d come back.





And I did, to find that she was even more beautiful and older and just as sassy and sweet and perfect.





Then the world fell apart, we all nearly died and Jean did and when the dust settled at last, Marie came to me and she asked he if I was gonna stick around for a while or was I gonna hit the road.





Told her I was staying put. I was home. I was gonna work at the school and be a fucking X-Man and the smile she gave me took my breath, it was so filled with just plain old happy it made me feel like I had just handed her the fucking moon.





Well, that settled it for sure, I stuck around, I was a friend to Scooter and I spent a lot of my free time with Marie and after I time I learned to tolerate those little brats she liked to hang around. And I started to like the Ice Kid a little, course that was after Marie said she was dumping him, which left her suddenly single and while I told myself I wasn’t gonna look at her like that, I still found myself looking at her.





How could I not?





She was stunning, damn near perfect.





Scratch that, she was perfect.





And she was a pain in my ass when she up and announced she was gonna be on the team and there it was left to me to train her, when in all reality, I didn’t want her to be a fucking X-Man.





I didn’t want her in danger.





She told me that was just too fucking bad, cause she was an adult and she was able to make her decisions for herself and I needed to live with it.





So guess what I did?





I learned to fucking live with it.





Scooter told me I was whipped and I told him if he ever said that again I was gonna use the claws to snatch his pea sized brain through his ear.





Well, Marie joined the team, and she was good, cause you know, she learned from me, and I am the best.





Then Carol happened.





For three fucking days, Marie was nearly insane, trying to fight Carol for control and she looked so afraid and so small and it just about fucking killed me to not be able to help her, but once it was over, I realized she was okay and maybe better off cause she had the strength and healing and the ability to fly.





Also realize that I was desperately, completely, wonderfully, totally, in love with Marie.





With a twenty year old girl.





Can we say shit. Fuck. Hell.





Toss in any other four letter words you can think of.





At first, I panicked, cause there I was, in love for the first time and I kept thinking, that Marie, she is just a kid, but then I told myself if she was old enough to fight on the team, then she was an adult.





Then I realized, I am kind of fucked up.





But Marie, she never held that against me.





And I already knew she was in love with me, cause I can see it in her eyes and I can smell it on her.





Then I did something I never thought I would do.





I went to Scooter and I told him what was going on, what I was thinking and he told me to stop acting like the fucking sissy I always accused him of being and just tell Marie I loved her.





Whoever thought Scooter would make sense.





Whoever thought I’d be thinking Scooter was right about something.





Course, I didn’t want to just walk up and blunder the words, I wanted to make it really special for her and all, so I started thinking about how Christmas was coming up and how Marie told me she missed how her momma always surprised her with at least one present she wasn’t expecting.





So I decided, I was gonna surprise Marie.





Had to do something else I never thought I would do.





I asked Jubes and the one named after the candy bar to help me by getting Marie out of the mansion for a few hours.





Course, that was easy.





They took her shopping.





Course, that meant they could be gone for days, not hours, cause I’ve seen Jubes shop and that girl goes into a sale like she goes into combat and more than once,

I’m sure she has left a few bodies in her path coming out of the mall.





Anyway, Marie was gone for a while, so I went into her room that she now had to herself cause she was a teacher and I used a bunch of decorations I had found in the attic to turn the place into a fucking wonderland.





I set up a tree with all those blue and red and green lights that blinked and I strung up some of those red and gold things that looked like fucking boas or something and then I spared the windows with fake snow shit.





I put on Christmas music.





Of course, it was Johnny Cash, but still, it was Christmas music.





And then I wrapped up some presents I had got Marie, even though I figured she wouldn’t open them to Christmas which was still just under a week away, but there was one present she’d be getting that night for sure.





A Wolverine.





Well, about an hour after I finished up, I heard Jubes in the hall, singing Silent Night, at the top of her lungs which was my clue they were home and my conformation that Jubes couldn’t carry a fucking tone if her life depended on it.





Shit. I hated my super sensitive hearing at that moment.





Then the door opened and Marie stepped in, humming, and then she came to a halt as she looked around the room, her beautiful eyes wide as they settled on my, standing by the foot of her bed, trying not to fidget.





Whoever thought The Wolverine could fidget?





Well, none of that mattered as Marie stepped inside and closed the door and I could see the shock and confusion in her eyes, so I decided to speak up and say what I had to get said.





I took a breath and said, I remembered how you said your momma always gave you a present you weren’t expecting and you missed that, so I decided that I was gonna give you that again so I fixed your room up with all this shit…stuff, I mean stuff, cause I really wanted to do something special for you.





Her eyes, tears came to them and she said my name in that soft voice and I knew she was happy, that she loved what I had done.





But there was more.





So I said it.





I looked at her and I said, I have been trying to figure out how to say it, so I decided that the gift I would give that you haven’t been expecting is this; Marie, I love you more than you can know and I may not be good with words and stuff and I know I ain’t quite a prize, but I swear, I will give you all I can and I will make you happy…





Before I could say more, she was across the room and in my arms and screaming that she loved me too.





God, those were some beautiful words.





She pulled back and looked at me and she said I was perfect in her eyes and she would love me forever right back and I was the best gift anyone had ever given her.





Then she said she had a gift for me.





She leaned close and kissed me on my bare lips with her bare lips.





She could control her powers.





Said she was gonna tell me Christmas, but wanted to give that to me early.





So what happened next?





I ain’t fucking giving anyone the details of what Marie is like naked and in my arms and in my bed, but I will say that she is the best there ever has been and she is all I will ever want or need forever.





And that, thank you, is how The Wolverine learned to love Christmas.





Bound to be a classic kids story that the generations will pass down, don’t you think.





The End