Crossed the border last night. Had to stop for some gas. Probably should stop a while longer. I could use some shut-eye. Maybe eat. I really should before I fucking kill somebody. Almost crashed with a deer couple of hours ago. Would have trashed the bike, and that’s something I really can’t afford to.

I guess I could stop for the night. There’s a motel not too far from here. I could call to Xavier from there. He needs an explanation. Though I have no clue of how to even begin explaining this shit to anybody…

I thought I had it good. Things were finally looking up. I had a roof over my head. Steady income. And I had a girl. The girl. The one. Finally got over Jean, it wouldn’t have worked between us anyway. Marie… She was different. A hell of a lot like me. Young? perhaps, but compared to me even Chuck’s a toddler.

I thought I had it good. Right. Fucking moron. I should have realized that there was something wrong, fundamentally flawed when the girl I almost got killed at several occasions trailed after me like a lost puppy. But no… I guess I kind of figured that it was meant to be. Like in those cheesy harlequins all the chicks at Xavier’s keep devouring.

It was meant to be, so why fight it?

It was good for the whole whopping two weeks it lasted.

I was so high up there that I managed to miss all the bright and blaring warnings. I was fucking blind, deaf and dumb. I was with my girl, we were both good and happy, and nobody seemed to have a problem with it. I should have known better.

She wanted me to take her to ice cream. We took my bike (it’s my bike, no matter what Summers says) and drove to city.

She wanted to go swimming. Just hop on to the bike, darling… I took her to swimming.

I should have known that something was up when she wasn’t acting like any of the girls I have dated before her. Not when we were out in public. Whenever there were people around us she fell in to this weird routine of shy and timid little girl. I should have known that everything wasn’t the way it seemed to be.

Sue me. I’m fucked up idiot and I still love her.

I chucked it all to the fact that even a blind man could see how much older I am. That she didn’t want to put me in to an awkward position. And didn’t that make me fall for her even harder. She was so fucking considerate, so of course I tried to repay that. I fucking bend over backwards to keep her happy and satisfied. She did the same for me. Never ending cycle of good deeds should produce only good things, right?

It did. We were so good and lovey-dovey together that even Scott and Jean started to look nauseated after they spent few minutes in our company. And it felt good. I was… I…

It was too fucking good to last.

That last night we were going to take that final big leap. We got everything ready. Liquid latex, condoms and stuff. I knew it was going to be a bitch to peel off that latex later, but I wasn’t going to fuck her with clothes on. She deserved better.

So. There we were, covered in to sticky goo from head to toe. Just waiting for it to dry up so that we could actually touch each other. She was nervous and I was a goddamned wreck. Nervous, yes. Horny? Absolutely.

Then one little word changed it all. Turned it all upside down. One little word she whispered when I scooped her on my arms.

“Daddy…”

Her father is as good as dead.