I've heard the other students refer to Scott as the "Fearless Leader" and I have to admit that having Logan inside my head after he saved me... It didn't much help my opinion of Cyclops.

Then again, having Logan inside my head didn't exactly endear me to anyone at the school. I don't think I had ever growled at anyone before. And my vocabulary will never be the same again, that much is for sure.

But now, Logan's gone. Sure, I still have his dog tag, although I leave it by my bed rather than wearing it. I'm not sure I want to know what he would say if I lost it. I might actually be able to guess, now that I've been inside his head, but I won't. Maybe I'm trying to convince myself that if I don't guess, he'll have to come home to tell me.

It's odd, him not being here. And I know he promised he'd be back, but I still miss him. I know Jean told him I had a crush, or some such thing, on him. Maybe I do. Did. I'm not sure.

That's only one of the lines of thought that tend to give me headaches ever since that night. It's strange looking at the world from two different points of view. Two so very different points of view, no less.

That brings me back to what started my little daydreaming session. Of all those here, the biggest conflict I have resolving my own thoughts with Logan's -- and even with those around me who've been here longer than I have -- have to do with Cyclops.

The Professor, Storm and Jean are easily understood. I respect each of them. Logan... Well, Logan respects one, seems to barely know the next and... Judging by some of the things I saw, respect is a distant second to how he really feels about Ms. Grey. All I can say is at least I didn't hit on her back before Logan woke up; he does enough of that himself.

And therein lies part of the conflict between Scott and Logan. As hard as it might have been to miss Logan's feelings for her, it was just as easy to see there was some other conflict going on there, too. Since when do two people so instantly want to annoy the other?

I think it may simply be that I've never seen such total opposites before. Storm told me what they did to defeat Magneto and save me, how they actually had to work together. Including the supposedly clever way Logan made sure they knew it was him.

You might think that it's almost deceptively simple. Cyclops is a leader, and Logan is by no means a follower. Logan thinks Scott is a goody-goody. Cyclops probably thinks Wolverine is an animal. I think I've got a pretty well-balanced view of them both -- and they're both wrong.

True, Scott's strict and maybe even stuffy, but I think perhaps he has to be. Jean explained his powers to me one night a while back, about when they first appeared and he couldn't control them. I think Logan needed to see past the visor, but never did.

In a way, those mirrored glasses are kinda like my gloves. I can't touch anyone -- really touch anyone at any rate. Isn't that just one form of expression? No less than reading someone's eyes? We all express what we're feeling in our eyes, what do you do when your eyes are hidden? I wonder if he feels as frustrated as I do sometimes.

The emotion is there, contrary to what I know Logan thought. Logan saw a statue tucked away behind ruby quartz. There's more than that there, but I'm not sure how many people have taken the time to look for it. Jean, the Professor -- they're telepathic, of course they can see what the others miss.

It's funny, because I think I can see it too, even though I'll never have a telepathic gift. Well, unless I somehow stumble into the Professor or Jean. I have to admit that might be funny, if it weren't so dangerous. Apparently my last encounter with taking another's traits was entertaining if one was looking from the outside in, not worried about if Logan was going to be okay. I was just sorta embarrassed at the time -- besides being worried.

Right now we're supposed to be learning about mechanics. Not that I understand why, or particularly care to know, but here we are. Bobby is next to me. He looks like he's totally caught up in the lesson that Cyclops is giving. Even Kitty seems interested. Me? I'm studying the teacher. Trying to see the person that lies behind the glasses.

I know Logan is wrong. True, Scott may never win a congeniality award, but there's more here than a cardboard cutout and a stuck-up attitude. There must be. Ms. Gray doesn't seem the type to fall for just another pretty face -- Scott's or Logan's.

I can feel my cheeks starting to burn at the last thought and duck my head before Kitty or Jubilee can see. I notice a moment too late that Bobby already has. Wonderful, as if being ribbed about my apparent crush on Logan wasn't enough. Now he's going to get the bright idea that I like Scott.

Logan's gonna kill me. I manage to stifle my laughter at the thought but it still earns me a glance from Scott. When he looks at me, it's as serious as always. Actually that's one thing Logan was right about. He does look serious a lot. Then again, was that the hint of a smile I just saw when he turned back to the bike?

Well, well, one point for him having emotions, after all. Then again, the debate I'm having with myself -- or possibly what's left of the Logan part of myself -- would be much more fun if he were actually here to have it with. Especially since I'd be winning.

I can't help wondering if he's found what he went searching for. I don't know exactly what it is I feel for him, although I'm almost certain of what he feels for me. Either way, I wish he'd come home. It might be fun to watch him and Scott bicker some more -- then again, I better not let Jean catch me thinking that.

I smile, and try to turn my attention to the class. However, I'm in luck as the class is finally ending. Now I just wish I could remember if we're supposed to have a test over this... Because I'm pretty sure the inner workings of the X-Men won't be on it.

End