I opened my door and stepped in my room, not bothering to turn on the light.

My mistake.

Two steps found me flat on my back sliding across the floor on a sheet of ice. The bed stopped my slide and no sooner had I come to an abrupt halt when something wet fell from the ceiling, covering me.

Damn! Damn! Damn!

I could smell Drake now. It was a testament to how tired I was that I hadn’t noticed sooner.

I got to my feet, muscles protesting for only a moment before my healing factor kicked in and took care of them. Stumbling to the bathroom, I was confronted with the smiling face of a Barbie on a pink and lavender shower curtain. The image was in a bikini and was quite stacked.

I looked in the mirror.

The shaving cream smiley face drawn on the mirror looked back.

With a growl, I wiped the mirror with my sleeve, smearing pink all over it, and saw the full extent of damage to my person.

Bubblegum pink dye.

Everywhere.

It was in my hair, on my face, my clothes....

That little....

I returned to my bedroom and grabbed a whiskey bottle.

It stuck to my wet hand.

Drake had frozen my liquor bottles shut.

Grappling with the bottle and determined to have a drink or twelve--be smarter than the ice and bottle, Logan --I plodded across pink dye splattered carpet to my bed and sat down.

I stood right back up.

My bed was a puddle of icy cold water.

It was then that I noticed I had to pee.

I pried the bottle loose, taking off the top layer of skin on my hand in the process, and hissed with pain all the way into the bathroom. I reached to flip up the toilet seat and ripped one nail damn near to the cuticle when the seat--frozen, of course --wouldn’t move.

While using the shower stall as a urinal, I decided to have a nice, calm little chat with that pipsqueak Drake. Unfortunately, I forgot about the ice on the floor in front of the door and slipped, falling face first and nearly biting my tongue in two.

I snarled and crawled to the door, flinging it open.

SNIKT!

“Drake! You little shit! You better have life insurance!”

Ororo Munroe can be quite the self-righteous bitch sometimes. I’d just caught Drake when she appeared.

“Logan! Do you not think that you have made enough of a spectacle of yourself for one day?”

“But...”

“Put him down. You are not going to disembowel--”

“Castrate.” I corrected.

“--a student at eleven o’clock at night.”

I set the boy down. He ran.

“When can I do it then?”

“Never.”

“Did you see what he did?”

“Yes, I see.”

Her lips twitched. I saw them. I know I did.

“But surely, ‘Ro...”

“No. Go to your room, Logan.”

I blinked. She was ordering me like I was one of the kids. Me. The Wolverine. King of the Cage and badass in general. She was ordering me.

“Do not make the mistake of thinking that I cannot make you. I have my ways Logan.”

“You’re threatening me.” I almost smiled at the thought, then remembered she could fry me with lightning if she chose, very unpleasant for someone with metal covered bones.

“Merely promising.”

Reluctantly, I turned in the direction of my room.

“I’m only going because I want to. It’s been a long day and I’m tired.” What is it about her that can actually turn me into one of those guilty teens in under ten seconds? Fuck, I sounded like I was sulking!

“Of course, Logan. I would not presume otherwise. Good night.”

I shut my door, waited five minutes, and then opened it again.

Damned if she wasn’t standing outside waiting, arms crossed in an imperious manner and an expectant look on her face. I opened my mouth, closed it right away, and slammed the door in disgust.

Damn.

Now I had to wait until morning.

Dawn graced the horizon, slowly at first, then quicker, pushing creeping rosy tendrils across starry black, which blossomed into splashes of beautiful color. Inside the mansion, Marie woke and rolled over, hitting her alarm before it could go off and wake Jubilee. For one guilty moment, she wondered if Bobby was still alive and breathing, but that moment was fleeting when she recalled the music of Logan’s bellow the night before.

Serves him right, she thought, tossing aside the covers and reaching for her shower bucket.

She had to get moving if she was going to get back at Scott and Jean.

Jubilee was warm, as in nice and toasty, someone-in-bed-with-you warm. Since everyone had their own bed and she didn’t remember going to a sleepover the night before, she yawned and tried to wake up, a difficult feat for someone who only got out of bed when forcibly removed from it. She turned her head on the pillow, twisted her body onto her left side and opened her eyes to find the smiling face of Remy LeBeau inches from hers.

“’Mornin’, P’tite.”

She let out a yelp, forgot she was on the edge of her bed and tried to roll away from him. Jubilee landed on the hardwood floor with a thud, legs tangled in the sheets and comforter.

Remy leaned over the side of the bed. “Not a morning girl? Remy a morning person. Remy like to do lots of t’ings in de morning.”

His eyes traveled down her.

Jubilee frantically pulled at both the sheets beneath her and at the tank of her pajamas, which had slipped down and was nearly baring one breast.

Why, oh why, did she have to keep seeing him when she was groggy and in no state to reply?

“Rogue!” She gasped.

“In de shower. We got plenty of time, Cher. How ‘bout joinin’ Remy up here for some love in de morning?”

“How about you...uh...uh...leave!”

Brilliant, girl, just brilliant. C’mon Jubes, wake up!

“You want Remy to come and go, den?”

“Yeah!” She caught the word play a few seconds later than usual. “No! Ooh!” She struggled to find the words to express herself. “Gah!”

“Gah?” He reached down a hand, trailed it across her bare stomach, where the tank had been pulled away. “Remy t’ought P’tite might take dat top off. You tease Remy yesterday, Cher.”

The door crashed open.

“Remy LeBeau, get the hell out so Ah can get dressed and if you pick that lock again, Ah’ll skin and fry you!” Marie set her shower bucket on her bed.

“’Mornin’ Cher. Remy just makin’ plans with Jubie.”

“Uh-huh. Out. Now.”

He caught a hold of Jubilee’s hand and kissed its back.

“Until later, ma Cher. Remy can’t wait.”

Marie slammed the door as soon as he was through it.

Jubilee finally got her mouth and brain coordinated long enough for one full coherent sentence.

“I didn’t agree to anything!” She yelled.

Marie rounded the end of Jubilee’s bed and looked down at her friend on the floor.

“Crawled into bed with you?”

Jubilee whimpered.

With a sigh, Marie retrieved Jubilee’s pillow and handed it to her before covering her with a blanket. “Go back to sleep J. It’s still early.”

Jubilee’s eyes fluttered shut, and Marie got dressed to the sound of Jubilee muttering, “Just a bad dream” over and over.

I sat and ate my breakfast quietly, mentally reviewing my plans for murdering Bobby Drake and disposing of his body, and was surprised as all hell when Marie sat beside me. After the day before, I’d thought she’d stay in bed all day and avoid me like the plague, but no, she sat beside me with that little flirtatious grin of hers, as though all was forgiven and forgotten.

“Good morning, Logan.”

“Mmm.” Was it ever. She was wearing one of those little, low-cut tops Jubilee kept encouraging her to buy, and I mean low-cut. I could see the wire of her bra nestled between those perfect breasts and I was sitting beside her. Anything male that was taller than her, i.e.: every guy at Xavier’s, would have heart palpitations from the view and quite a few of them would find themselves unable to form anything approximating a coherent sentence.

She sipped her juice, the tip of her tongue darting out to lick her lips when she finished. “Did Ah hear you yelling last night, Sugah?”

I nodded. Her eyes were wide and innocent and I thought I detected an increase in her pulse, but as I was now certain she was as attracted to me as I was to her, I assumed it was my nearness that did it to her.

“What happened?”

“Your little friend Bobby.”

She crossed her arms beneath her breasts, pushing them enticingly upward, and leaned back in her chair.

I forced myself not to stare.

You’re an adult Logan. Act like one.

“What about him?”

“He played one of his jokes on me. Dye, frozen floor, bed and toilet seat, new shower curtain...I wasn’t too pleased.” There was a slight twinkle in her beautiful brown eyes and I sipped my coffee before taking another long glance at her breasts.

Marie leaned slightly towards me, shoulder tilting down in my direction.

Deep breaths Logan.

Pretend you’re not staring.

Pretend you don’t want to take her upstairs and make her scream your name so loud that glass shatters.

I almost missed what she was saying, her luscious lips curving in a grin.

“...wish Ah could have seen you with pink all over you!”

A giggle left her and I finished my coffee. “It’s not funny, Marie.”

“Of course it is!”

I decided I’d better leave before I threw her over my shoulder and carried her to my room. “I think I’ll go wait for Drake.”

With a last look at her bounteous breasts, I left the dining room.

In one corner of the dining room, Ororo Munroe sipped her herbal tea and watched the exchange between Logan and Rogue. Her brow furrowed thoughtfully as she saw the satisfied smile Rogue directed at Logan’s back.

The girl was up to something and Ororo intended to find out what.

---

I decided to wait until Drake had eaten breakfast before killing him.

I like to hunt and if he ate breakfast he’d have energy to run, so I thought I’d use the time waiting for intellectual pursuits: there was an article in Playboy I hadn’t ‘read’ yet.

What? I’m a guy. Get over it.

Besides, this months Playmate looked quite a bit like Marie, and with her display at the table....

With the door locked, I relaxed on my bed.

Now, there’s a certain way I like to ‘read’ Playboy.

I savor it.

I flip the lower edges to a picture and slowly peel it open, revealing the woman, or in some pictures, women. I did the same this time, anticipating a blond or maybe a redhead.

I like redheads.

And little Asian babes.

And any woman that sort of looks like Marie....

That picture had potential. Shapely, slender legs, tiny waist and breasts so luscious....

Middle of the magazine. Playmate of the month. Oh yeah.

I flipped the magazine open the rest of the way....

“Aahhh!”

Scott Summers smiled up at me.

I turned the page.

No. No, no, no....

Still Scott.

Flip. Scott. Flip. Scott. Flip. Scott.

His picture was pasted on every woman in that magazine.

I threw the magazine across the room.

“Drake!”

Sick little bastard had ruined Playmate of the month for me.

He was gonna die. Painfully.

---

“Nice baby, hold still for Rogue.”

She carefully tied dye packets to the baby skunk eating raw hamburger from a dish. When it was finished, it sniffed at her gloves and looked up at her trustingly. Marie picked it up, carefully cradling it in her arms.

“Yes, you’re a good little skunky, aren’t you?” She petted it and headed up the back stairs.

At Jean and Scott’s door, she crouched down and slowly turned the doorknob.

Trusting souls; their door wasn’t even locked.

With a last pat on the animals’ head, she shoved it through the crack and shut the door. Marie secured a length of bungee cord around the doorknob and strung it across the hall to the utility closet, securing it at that end until the cord was taut. No one would mess with it, she was sure, since Jubilee and Bobby’s pranks were legendary.

She experienced a slight twinge of remorse for framing her two friends, but the desire for revenge prevailed and she walked down the hall humming softly.

---

Something furry and warm brushed Scott Summers’ face, and he moved a hand over it. Furry equals cat, right? He licked his lips.

“Jean, get the cat off the bed.” His eyes opened a slit to peer blurrily at the creature between him and Jean.

Jean yawned. “Scott, we don’t have a cat.”

They sat at the same time, startling the skunk between them.

It sprayed.

Scott grabbed at it, red dye filled packets exploding onto him and Jean.

Running to the door, Jean pulled on it frantically, but it wouldn’t budge.

The skunk moved to the floor, and as Scott leaped from the bed to tackle it, his glasses slipped off, red beams blasting a hole through the door, the closet across the hall, and the end of Remy LeBeau’s room to the outside wall.

“Jean! My glasses!”

The blast had narrowly missed Jean, who tripped over Scott and a throw rug and stubbed her toe on the bedpost. She staggered to the window and wrestled it open, breathing in wonderful clean air that had no hint of skunk stink.

“Jean!”

Taking a last deep breath, she found Scott’s glasses and handed them to him, then caught sight of their furry visitor disappearing under the bed.

“Kill it Scott!” She yelled in his ear as he stood up.

He winced, secured his glasses and moved to their bed. “What if it’s rabid?”

“Kill it!”

“What if Ororo finds out I killed a poor defenseless animal?”

“Fuck her, I want that animal dead!” She shoved him out of the way. “Never mind, I’ll do it myself.” She got onto her hands and knees, lifted the dust ruffle and was sprayed again.

Scott smirked. “Need some help, honey?”

She glared.

---

I was prowling the upper hall again when I heard the commotion from Jean and Scooter’s room and smelled the skunk.

Hmmm.

Bungee cord kept their door from opening.

Shit, I wonder who could have thought that up?

As Scooter improved the air conditioning, I went to the window at the end of the hall and waited.

After awhile, they came out and I snickered at the sight of them. “What happened to you two?”

Scott snarled impressively and Jean was seething. They were both a little ripe.

“Let me guess, Drake?”

“And Jubilee.” Scott wiped ineffectually at the red dye on his t-shirt.

“Now are you people gonna let me kill Drake?”

“I want him to suffer.” Jean bit out, lips clenching in a tight, very unforgiving line.

“I’ll help.”

I shrugged. “Suit yourself, bub, but you might wanna shower first. You both smell rather...putrid.” I leaned closer to the window. “Jean, you can use my shower.”

“How kind of you, Logan, and where are you planning on being if she does that?” Scooter stepped in front of his fiancee. I love needling him.

“Where do you think?”

Jean growled. “Kill him!”

Scooter sneered. “Anything for you, sweetheart.” He reached for his visor control.

“Not him, Scott. Bobby! Kill Bobby! Then Jubilee.”

Her voice dropped and I saw she really did want blood shed.

“I want those little shits strung up by their toes and tortured until they beg for mercy, but you won’t give it to them, understand? You’re to kill them slowly and I want to watch.” She returned into their room and slammed what was left of the door.

I looked at Scott and saw my hideously deformed Playboy magazine. I growled at him.

He stared at me. “So why do you want to kill them? Besides last night, I mean?”

I didn’t bother to answer him.

---

Bobby Drake was being hunted. There was no other word to describe it. Maybe, now that he’d had a chance to think about it, it had been a bad idea to play that joke on Logan, but Bobby never could say no to Rogue’s big brown eyes (or Jubilee’s eyes, or Kitty’s). ‘Sucker’ described him perfectly he decided as he looked for a place to hide, since Mr. Summers was now after him as well.

Logan didn’t seem to be mad at Rogue.

That bothered him, like maybe there was something he didn’t know about.

He’d spilled all the night before, or tried to rather. Talking was difficult when one was several feet off the ground with Logan’s fist tightening around one’s throat. Bobby supposed though, that a choked sentence approximating, “Akk...her...R...guhh...idea...eck...” actually couldn’t be described as ‘spilling all’. Sometimes he forgot that not every person at the school could read his mind; it just seemed that way.

So Rogue was off the hook and Logan and Mr. Summers were trying to kill him.

Mr. Summers he couldn’t figure out though.

He hadn’t pulled anything on Mr. Summers for at least a week, maybe even two.

Okay, four days.

Footsteps came down the hall and Bobby opened the nearest door. It was a closet, but heck, a hiding place was a hiding place. It wasn’t until he was inside that he realized it was already taken.

“Jubes?” He pressed to the back of the closet.

“What are you doing in here?” She asked in a whisper.

“Hiding from Logan and Mr. Summers.” Bobby slid down beside her behind one long coat that smelled pleasantly of Ororo Munroe’s perfume. “What are you doing in here?”

“Hiding from Remy.”

“Why?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Practical joke.”

Jubilee listened carefully for any sounds in the hall before replying. “Oh that. Good one, Bobb-o. How’d you come up with that without me?”

“Rogue. Why’re you hiding from Remy?”

“Wet t-shirt yesterday. No bra.”

Bobby grunted. “Thought you were encouraging him, did he?”

Jubilee opened her mouth to answer, then yelped as the closet door jerked open.

Ororo parted the coats on the rod. “Would you two like to go to the store with me?”

“Uhhh...” Both teens chewed their lower lips in indecision.

Ororo smiled. “Scott and Logan are coming this way and they seem to think the both of you played jokes on them this morning.”

“But I didn’t...” Jubilee began.

Bobby fled the closet, pulling Jubilee with him.

Scott’s voice rang out, “There they are!”

The teens cowered behind Ororo, who raised her hands, eyes turning white. Wind whipped open the front door, keeping Scott and Logan from advancing down the hall.

“Let us at them, ‘Roro.” Scott dropped to the floor, attempting to crawl.

Beside him, Logan had an easier time of it; he’d popped his claws and was using them to pull himself down the floor, leaving deep gouges in the wood. He passed Scott and was making good progress when Ororo increased the wind.

Furniture fell over and knick-knacks crashed to the floor.

“Logan. Scott. You will leave Jubilation and Robert alone. I am taking them out for awhile. Cool off. If you do not, you will both be going for a swim in your clothes. I know you, Logan, will not relish that, since metal will drop straight to the bottom of the pool.” She took a step back. “Jubilee and Bobby, go to my car. It’s out front.”

“They’re fiends!” Scott grabbed onto Logan’s leg.

Logan shook his leg, like he was trying to get rid of a pesky dog. “They’re malicious shits! When I catch him, I’m gonna castrate him, and when I catch her, she’ll think yesterday was a picnic!”

The front door slammed behind the Weather Witch and the two men thumped to the floor.

---

“C’mon J.!” Bobby motioned to his friend, who’d gone still upon seeing the fourth person in their ‘going to town’ group.

“Remy is going with us.” Ororo started the car.

Jubilee whimpered.

Remy smiled and patted the seat beside him. “Hello, P’tite. Come to Remy.”

Count on Bobby to take the front seat, Jubilee thought darkly as Scott and Logan burst through the front doors at a full run. Jubilee glanced at them, then at Remy, and dived into the car. Between two men who wanted to kill her and one who wanted to screw her, the latter was definitely more appealing than the former. Her head landed in Remy’s lap, Bobby leaning over the front seat to slam the door shut.

Ororo peeled out, tires squealing, leaving the men behind.

Remy’s slender fingers stroked through Jubilee’s hair. “Jus’ relax, P’tite. Remy take good care of you.”

She whimpered again.

“Be good, Remy.” Ororo warned.

“Oui.” He murmured, trailing his hand down Jubilee’s arm and back up. “Remy always good.” He whispered only loud enough for Jubilee to hear.

Jubilee closed her eyes tightly and wondered why fate seemed to hate her.

---

“I mean it. Someone could get hurt if these jokes keep up. Do you both hear me?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Bobby cringed in the seat, thankful that he’d been rescued from certain death.

Jubilee, up against the door, stared warily at Remy, who was inching closer and closer, his hand stroking her thigh. “I hear you, Stormy.”

“Jubilee, do not call me Stormy.”

“Okay Stormy...I mean Storm.” She tried her best to manifest new powers enabling her to melt into the car door, but her body was stubbornly refusing to cooperate. Even worse, her treacherous body was responding to Remy, getting all tingly and perky.

“Now Bobby....” Storm began, glancing into the rear view mirror. “Remy, get those hands where I can see them. Bobby, you will buy cleaner and clean Logan’s room when we return. You made a horrible mess....”

“But it wasn’t my idea!”

“Then whose was it?” Her glance strayed to Jubilee.

“Storm! Make Remy stop!” Jubilee crossed her arms over her breasts, blocking Remy’s elbow.

“Remy not doin’ nothin’.”

Ororo returned her eyes to the road and swerved the car back into the proper lane. “Remy, get back on the other side of the seat.”

“It was Rogue’s idea.” Bobby shifted in the seat. “She said he wouldn’t be mad.”

“And you believed her?” Jubilee reached to whack him in the head, but pulled back quickly when Remy reached for her. “Stay away from me, jerk-off!”

“Jubilee, language.”

“Jerk-off isn’t bad language.”

“It is if I say it is Jubilation. Remy keep your hands where I can see them.”

“Remy not doin’ nothin’!” Reluctantly, he removed his hands from Jubilee’s breasts.

“Rogue set everything up. She had all the stuff ready to go; the dye, the tarp, Logan’s latest issue of Playboy with Mr. Summers’ picture pasted on all the girls...”

“Oh Goddess!” Ororo exclaimed. “I suppose I must replace it for him. You will give me the money for it, Bobby.”

“Yeah.”

“Dat Rogue.” Remy burst out laughing. “She one creative woman!”

“Like you’d know.” Jubilee taunted. “She wouldn’t give you the time of day.”

“Does Remy look like Remy want de girl, Cher? Remy committed to courting de fairest Jubilee.”

“Fat chance. Stay on your own side of the car, jackass.”

“Jubilee.”

“Well he is, Stormy!”

“Jubilee.”

“What?” She rolled her eyes.

“Do not call me Stormy.” She pulled into the store parking lot. “What about the skunk, Bobby?”

“What skunk?”

“Jubilee?”

“Skunk? Oh, you mean that gross smell in the hall this morning? What about it?”

Ororo frowned and pulled into a parking place.

“Can I get candy?”

“Jubilee...” Ororo put a box of microwave popcorn into the basket and crossed it off her list.

“Come on. I’m just the innocent bystander--”

Remy snorted. “You not innocent Cher.”

“Shut up, Gumbo. I was implicated and found guilty without even a trial.” Her eyes followed Remy as he sauntered to the endcap and picked up a package of potato chips. “I didn’t do anything to Logan except admire his gorgeous body. Besides, I need the quick energy to fend Remy off.”

Bobby didn’t say anything.

They went down the candy aisle.

Ororo directed Bobby to the feminine supply aisle.

“Down here, Bobby.”

He shuddered. “Oh, ick. Can’t Jubes push the cart? I really don’t want to know about this stuff.”

“You’re the one in trouble. We agreed that you’d push the cart. Now push.”

Jubilee picked up a box of tampons and dumped it into the basket. Ororo did the same.

Bobby flushed deep red and prayed no one he knew from town would see him there.

With a thoughtful expression, Remy looked Jubilee up and down, then disappeared around the corner.

Ororo sorted through her coupons, then scrutinized the packages on the shelves.

Jubilee sighed and studied her nails until she felt someone directly behind her. Glancing back, she found Remy doing his innocent expression and whistling. “What do you want besides the blindingly obvious?”

“Is it true dat you wanna see Remy’s dick?”

She flushed and looked away. “Where’d you hear that?”

“Sounded like you shouting it de other night outside Remy’s window.”

“I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

He pressed two boxes into her hands and she took them out of reflex.

“Remy refresh dat memory, P’tite”

She glanced down at the boxes, “Ahhh! Perv!” and tried to give them back to him.

They passed a package of K-Y jelly and an economy size box of condoms back and forth between them for several minutes until Ororo came over and took them.

“You may both be over the age of consent, but I will not buy these items for you. Do you understand?”

“Fully!” Jubilee hurried to catch up with Bobby, who was making his way to the end of the aisle with a ‘I don’t know these people’ expression.

“Return those at once, Remy.”

He smiled his best ‘melt her heart’ smile.

Ororo raised one smooth elegant brow. “Now, Mr. LeBeau.” Her expression was the same one that had cowed Logan the night before and Remy’s response was no different.

“Yes, ma’am.” He replied meekly.

She went to the painkiller section and selected a bottle of ibuprofen.

Maybe she should have left Remy at the mansion.

“Price check on tampons!”

Bobby buried his face in his hands. “My humiliation is complete.” He muttered as the checker repeated the phrase.

Seeing Ororo’s attention elsewhere, Remy grabbed Jubilee by her hips and dragged her against him. She stomped on his foot, but in the process of stepping away, lost her balance and fell towards him. His hands caught her at her breasts and squeezed enthusiastically.

“Oh, ma Cher, Remy knew you couldn’t keep up de resistance...”

“Remy Le Beau, get your skanky hands off me!”

Ororo turned around and whacked Remy on the back of the head with her business size checkbook. “Remy LeBeau, if I have to tell you to behave one more time, you’re in the dish room for a month!” She hissed.

“Yes, ma’am.” He gingerly rubbed the spot she’d hit.

Jubilee scurried to the end of the belt by Bobby.

“Remy LeBeau!”

“Oui?”

“Stop that right now!”

“Stop what? What Remy doin’?”

Ororo stopped the car, undid her seatbelt and leaned over to Jubilee. Remy’s hand was wedged under Jubilee’s arm, fingers groping the girl’s breast despite her protests.

“Remy is doing exactly what Ororo told him not to do. Let her go. That’s it! Jubilee and Remy out! Bobby, scoot over to Remy’s place, Jubilee get behind me and Remy get up front.”

Jubilee waited until Remy was reaching for her door handle before she opened it on him. He groaned, but slapped her not lightly on the butt as she went by him.

“Oww!” She directed an evil glare at him, but he settled in the front seat as though content.

Ororo snapped out a hand and grabbed Remy’s chin in a bruising grip. “You will not speak one word the rest of the way back. You will not turn around. You will not even turn your head to look at Jubilee...”

“Ha-ha.” Jubilee taunted.

“Jubilee, stop baiting him. Remy, if I hear one word, see one gesture or anything that could possibly be considered flirting with Jubilee while you are in this car, I will extend that dish room duty to two months.”

He nodded slowly, lips turned down in a pout.

“Good. All of you shut up and I won’t let Logan or Scott murder any of you.” She pulled the car into the bookstore lot. “I must acquire a magazine for Logan. Remember, I can see you through the window.”

In the store, Ororo picked out the magazine for Logan and a Playgirl for herself, paid for them and returned to the car. Remy was still sulking, Jubilee was twirling her sunglasses and staring at the sky and Bobby was asleep. She smiled and began to drive.

---

“I hear a car!”

Scott perked up.

“Nope. Not them.”

Silence.

“I hear a car!”

Scott went to the window.

“Nope. Wrong direction.”

Silence.

“Car!”

Scott glared at me. I must admit, my lips twitched.

“My mistake. Motorcycle.”

This was just too much fun.

“Car!”

“Logan.”

Have I mentioned that I love pissing Scooter off?

“What?” I paused. “Car!”

“Logan!”

“That time there really was a car, but it turned off before it could reach the gate.”

Marie sauntered by laughing, swaying those hips of hers, her full ‘grab-me’ breasts bouncing and jiggling. I half expected her to pop out of that top any second.

“You two, Ah swear...”

Yeah, I guess it was amusing to see two grown men arguing over whether there was a car coming or not, but she seemed a little too amused by it. I leaned against one table and watched her go into Xavier’s office for her daily ‘control her powers’ session. In fact, she’d been downright jovial since breakfast when I’d told her about the prank. I thought about what I’d told her.

Wish I could have seen you with pink all over you.

Wait a damn minute.

I never told her it was pink dye.

My mouth dropped open.

No wonder she’d been in a good mood after yesterday.

The little minx was behind it all.

I recalled then that she’d planned a prank on Bobby using pink and red dye, some bungee cord and a tarp of some kind. She’d been so proud of herself for coming up with a prank without Jubilee’s help, bursting into my room just as I was hiding my Playboy magazine.

I have to hide it, or some little pipsqueak steals it.

She knew where I hid them. She was the only one, aside from Jubilee, that I’d smelled in my room since I’d bought the magazine, and Jubilee only went in the room if someone else was with her.

Now, should I share this revelation with Scooter?

“It wasn’t Bobby.”

He snorted. “The hell it wasn’t.”

“It wasn’t Jubilee.”

“Now you’re being ridiculous. Of course it was. It has their mark all over it. Bobby has a fondness for bungee cord and Jubilee for dye.”

“Jubilee can’t even get near an animal without freaking out.”

“Oh yeah? Who do you think is responsible? You were all for gutting Bobby not ten minutes ago.”

“That was before I saw Rogue go by.”

“Logan, just because she stole a bottle of your Southern Comfort, doesn’t mean you need to punish her for something she didn’t do. She’s never pulled a stunt like this before. Bobby and Jubilee do every week. Trust me. It wasn’t her.”

“It was.”

“It wasn’t”

“It was.”

“It wasn’t.”

“It was.”

“You want to fight over this?”

“Give me your best shot, pansy-ass.”

“Here, or outside?”

“Why wait, I’m right here.”

Jean walked up, carrying a jug of tomato juice in each hand.

“Would you two give it a rest for five minutes? Scott, you need to bathe.”

Jean barely smelled like skunk; now she smelled like spaghetti sauce.

“Tomato juice should help.”

“I already bathed.”

Kitty came down the stairs and towards us.

“I found the dye packets, Ms. Grey, but they were in Rogue’s dresser, not Jubilee’s.”

“Told you it was Rogue.” I smirked at Scott.

“It was Jubilee and Bobby.” His jaw clenched stubbornly.

“Bobby carried out one prank, but Rogue was behind it all.”

“She was framed.” Jean stated. “Bobby and Jubilee knew they’d be in big trouble, so they framed her.”

Kitty edged away.

I was about to argue, when we received one of those mental messages from Xavier.

~Scott, Jean, Logan, and Ororo meet in my office in half an hour.~

We broke up our squabble.

---

Marie sat quietly in her chair, working on the exercises Xavier gave her to try, forgetting the one rule of prank pulling: never think about your pranks when with a telepath.

She missed his slight frown and was blissfully unaware that she was soon to be found out.

---

As soon as the car rolled to a stop, Jubilee was out the door, Remy not far behind. Ororo sighed and steered Bobby towards Xavier’s office.

“Just tell the Professor what you know Bobby.”

The teen nodded. “Okay. You won’t let Logan kill me?”

“No.”

They went in the office. Jean, Scott and Logan were with Xavier.

“Ah, there you are.” Xavier greeted them with a gentle smile. “I was just explaining Rogue’s part in the pranks that were pulled yesterday and this morning.”

“She confessed?” Bobby sat in the chair Ororo directed him to.

“Not exactly. Let’s just say she gave herself away.” Xavier wheeled around the desk to Bobby. “Now, you need to apologize to Logan, Mr. Drake.”

Bobby nodded. “Sure, yeah. I’m sorry. I’ll never do it again--”

“Lying is frowned upon, Mr. Drake.”

“I’m sorry, really I am. I know it’s not an excuse, but Rogue begged and pleaded and batted her lashes at me...I got some cleaner at the store, so I’ll clean your room...”

“It’s already done, kid.” Logan nodded.

“Why did she do it?” Scott asked, arms crossed.

“Think back, Scott, on what you did yesterday in aid of Logan.”

He was quiet a moment. “The bikes and the video.”

“Why me?” Jean answered her own question. “The soda.”

“Are you sure Jubilee had nothing to do with any of it?” Scott moved to a chair and sat down.

Ororo smiled. “She’d too busy fending off Remy.”

“By the way, Scott, the damage to Remy’s room needs to be repaired.” Xavier looked at him, watched the man squirm uncomfortably.

“I’ll tack up some boards until we can repair it.”

“So.” Xavier wheeled back around his desk. “What do we plan on doing about Rogue?”

Logan put one hand on Bobby’s shoulder and grinned.

“I have an idea.”

---

Jubilee was cornered, Remy advancing. She looked left and right, but there was no escape in sight. “Get away from me, swamp rat.”

“Remy’s heart melts with each endearment dat comes from your perfect lips, Cher.” He placed a hand on either side of her waist and lifted her onto the table behind her, then pressed against her until her legs spread far enough for him to stand between them.

She placed her hands on his chest, arms as straight as she could get them. “You’re detestable.”

“You’re beautiful.”

“You’re a jackass.”

“You’re perfection.” Effortlessly, he drew her arms around his neck and leaned down, kissing her jaw lightly.

“I am?” Jubilee’s hand dangled limply over his shoulders. “I mean, you’re a pain.”

Make up your mind, girl! Do you like him or hate him and why does him kissing the side of your neck make you all googly?

“You’re everyt’ing Remy been looking for in a woman, P’tite.”

“I am?” Anything else she had meant to say was cut off as his mouth covered hers warmly. Would it hurt to enjoy one kiss?

Probably.

He tasted her, savored her and Jubilee wondered if he always kissed like that.

His hands slid up her back under her shirt, and inspiration struck her.

Ha! This ought to get rid of him!

When she’d managed to pull her mouth from his, she took his earlobe between her teeth and bit lightly, smelling the appealing scent of his aftershave and trying to ignore the pangs of, heaven forbid, like in her belly.

“Let’s do it. Now.”

Remy drew back, eyes searching hers, slightly suspicious at her sudden accommodating manner. “Now?”

“Right here, right now.” She slid her hands down his chest and to the waist of his worn jeans.

He looked up and down the hall.

“Too public, Cher. Remy like quiet and privacy. We go to my room if you don’t mind de fresh air?”

He didn’t wait for her to answer, picking her up and carrying her down the hall and around the corner to his room, a single.

There were large boards nailed to two walls.

In what only seemed seconds, Jubilee’s inspiration had backfired, landing her smack on her back and topless on Remy LeBeau’s bed. He nuzzled her enthusiastically, murmuring what sounded like endearments, his touch far gentler than it’d ever been. His hands softly kneaded and Jubilee shivered as his mouth closed warmly over one peak.

“R-remy....”

Despite herself, she arched against him, hands threading into his thick hair.

“Remy make dis good for you, P’tite. You won’ regret giving yourself to Remy.”

His mouth moved to her other breast and Jubilee went completely still, awash in sensation.

Ooh, he was too good at that.

Lean fingers stroked the underside of her breasts, finding a sensitive spot there and lingering.

She licked her lips. Stop him, her mind railed at her. Stop him before he finds out how you feel about him!

“You de perfect size, here, Cher. Anyone tell you dat?”

Shaking her head, she opened her mouth to speak, no sound coming out. Would it hurt to enjoy this? He wasn’t being a jerk for once. Jubilee closed her eyes, concentrating on the sensations he was rousing within her. Her body felt flushed...warm even.

“Aren’t dese jeans uncomf’table, Cher?”

His hands were on the waist, undoing the button and zipper and easing them down her hips.

With a gasp, Jubilee grasped his wrists. “No! Remy no!”

He kissed the side of her breast and kept tugging on her jeans, as though he didn’t even hear her or couldn’t feel her hands on his wrists. Panic began to well up in her, overcoming that warmth of arousal.

“Remy stop! Let go!”

Jubilee shoved at him. Remy moved back, shaking his head slightly, a dazed look in his eyes. She put her hands flat on the mattress and sat up, then yelped as she accidentally scorched his bed.

Remy blinked rapidly to clear his mind, unconcerned with the scorched bedspread and sheets, his brain registering the young woman’s panic. Slowly, he settled back, careful not to touch her. He hadn’t meant to panic her. “You don’t want to, do you, P’tite?”

Shaking her head, she pulled a corner of the comforter over her.

“Cher, why you say ‘do it’ when you don’t want to?”

She shrugged one shoulder. “Reverse psychology.”

She looked so miserable, that Remy reached out a hand and smoothed her tangled hair from her brow, patiently waiting for her to continue.

“I thought if I agreed that you’d get scared and back off. I thought you were all talk. It didn’t occur to me that you’d pull me into your room.”

“Is a good t’ing Remy a gentleman, Cher.”

“Sure took you long enough to stop.”

“You got de point across.” He gestured to the scorched places. “Remy hurt you?”

“No.”

“Remy scare you?”

When she closed her eyes and wouldn’t look at him, Remy quit being playful altogether.

“Jubilee, did I scare you?”

It took a second for her to notice he was using first person to refer to himself.

“J?” He reached over the side of the bed, found her shirt and placed it in her hands. “De truth, ‘cause I never meant to scare you.”

Tears slipped down her cheeks and she wiped at them, opening her eyes. “You come on so strong, Remy. I start to feel hunted, like today at the store. It’s like you don’t know when to quit sometimes.”

“I’m sorry, J. You always have a comeback, so I thought you liked our play.” He took her hand in his, twined their fingers.

“I do, but not all the time. Can’t you treat me differently from your other women?”

“Other women?” He frowned. “I flirt, J. Dat’s what I do, but I most certainly don’t have other women. I spend all my time pursuing you. ‘Sides, none of de others intrigue me like you do. You’re tart and sweet in de most interesting mix; it stirs me...” He smiled a crooked smile at her. “If you want me to back off, J., I will. I’ll leave you alone.”

“You don’t have to leave me alone, Remy. Just...back off a little. Don’t paw me so much. You’re not seventeen. Don’t act like you are. When you act your age you’re far above the other bozos, and if you tell anyone I said that, I’ll hurt you.”

“Okay. Remy won’t push. We take our time, Cher, dat what you want?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Remy can do dat.” He turned her shirt the right side out for her and turned his back so she could put it on. “De best t’ings are always worth waitin’ for.”

---

Marie snuggled against Logan. They were alone in the rec room, watching some movie she wasn’t even paying attention to. He didn’t seem too into it either, if his rewinding it every few scenes was any indication. She placed her hand on his thigh, felt the muscles tense under her palm, and smiled a little. Under her ear, his heart thudded evenly, the beats slowly quickening.

He slipped his hand over her back to her neck, other hand joining to slowly untie the scarf there.

“Logan?”

“Sshh.”

The scarf was pulled free of her neck, and Marie’s breath hitched when Logan laid her on her back, the cushions firm beneath her. He draped the scarf over her face.

“Don’t move.”

She couldn’t have moved if her life depended on it, those strong hands of his moving her legs so he could lie between them against her. Logan’s weight settled on her slowly, deliciously covering her, his fingers tangling in her hair, holding the scarf in place. He brushed his lips over hers, again and again, until she was pursuing him, trying to deepen the kisses, to feel more than those fleeting touches.

“Not scaring you, am I?”

This was a different mood than she’d ever seen him in and a change from how he’d been treating her, but Marie didn’t care.

Logan was kissing her and that was all that mattered.

“I don’t want to scare you, Darlin’.”

“You’re not.” Was that her voice that sounded so breathless?

“Good.”

He deepened the kisses, tracing the curve of her lower lip before slipping his tongue between her lips to touch hers. The scarf was forgotten.

He was kissing her, just like any other man would kiss the woman he desired.

Marie closed her eyes and set on exploring his body, running her hands along those sleek limbs she’d been craving to touch.

---

The plan was to get her going a little and convince her to go back to her room. Getting her going was easy I found, but getting me to stop was the difficult part. Oh fuck, she’s sweet! I’m not even going to try and figure out how she learned to kiss like that, and her hands running over me.... She knows right where I like to be touched.

That’s going to save us valuable time in the future.

Get a grip, Logan.

I growled. She purred.

I was close to dragging her upstairs and to hell with the plan.

What the hell, she may be pissed at me later, so I might as well enjoy it now.

---

Their positions had become reversed, Logan on his back, with her straddling him. Marie could feel him hard against her and ground her hips down just to hear him growl. His teeth nipped at her breast, hands on her hips, forcing her firmly to him. Logan guided her. She threw her head back, long hair wild about her shoulders, and opened her eyes.

Not here. Not where anyone can walk in and see us.

Marie dragged in a breath.

“Logan...” She panted, pulling at the hand he was moving between them. He won the struggle, and for a few minutes Marie forgot what she’d been thinking, unaware of everything except the caress of his fingers against her. She moaned, mouth falling open, body straining.

“Easy, Darlin’.”

She was so close...so close...and he stopped. Marie let out a frustrated cry.

“Not here. Upstairs.”

---

Control, Logan.

You can do it.

Take her upstairs and into your room...

No, that’s not it.

Take her upstairs to her room. The plan, dummy. Remember the plan. There’s plenty of time for more of this later.

Slowly, I regained control of myself.

---

Marie wrapped her arms around Logan’s neck. He carried her into her room, somehow managing to keep the filmy scarf over her face and kiss her while maneuvering them to her bed. She groaned with longing, her heart racing, so aroused and aching for him that the need was turning painful.

---

Could I do it?

Would it be too cruel?

No, I decided, getting a grip on my hormones. Marie needed to learn she couldn’t play with me like she had.

If she wanted to play with me, there were much more pleasurable ways to do it, as we’d just demonstrated in the rec room for anyone that walked by.

I dropped her.

---

Marie kept her eyes closed when Logan stopped. Would he be gentle? Would he take it slow with her? Would--

Her eyes opened as soon as she realized she was falling. “Wha--”

Wetness seeped through her thin shirt and Logan’s expression was as satisfied as the one she’d had at breakfast. Marie raised up a hand; touched her shirt and face and held her fingers up.

Red.

Bubblegum pink.

Logan placed one hand between her breasts and pressed. A dye packet exploded, pink dye oozing from under his hand.

She was found out.

Marie opened her mouth. “You fucking bastard--”

She used language no lady should know, screaming obscenities at him in English, German, French, Chinese and Japanese as he stepped away. Marie sat up. Dye was all over her, from her hair to her clothes and seeing Logan start to snicker made her madder. She renewed her name calling, focusing on his probable parentage and his character in general, only coming to a stop when icy somethings rolled down her back.

---

It’s worth blue balls just to hear her swear like that, however, I decided to cool her off with the glass full of iced marbles Drake had thoughtfully supplied, pouring them right down her back. She sputtered to a stop and went rigid, her eyes really wide. I snagged one of her scarves, forced myself to stop laughing, and laid it over her face, pressing a kiss to her lips.

“Gee, Darlin’, didn’t anyone ever tell you?”

I smiled at her.

“Turnabout is fair play.”

With a last kiss, I left.

---

Marie sniffed once he was gone, looking around at her ruined sheets and favorite shirt, and the mess....

She started to laugh.

It began as giggles and grew quickly to deep belly laughs.

When Jubilee walked in ten minutes later, she was lying in dye and laughing.

“Whoa, chica. What happened to you?” Jubilee moved to her own bed and sat down. Rogue’s laughter increased. “Rogue? You okay?”

Laughter. Slightly hysterical at that, Jubilee decided.

“Rogue.”

Peels and peels of laughter.

Jubilee got up and went to the door, stepping into the hall.

“Hey, Logan! I hope you’re happy now! She’s insane!”

She glanced at her friend.

“Rogue, girl, you gotta get ahold of yourself. Calm down.”

Marie dragged in a painful breath, holding her sides.

“Oh...Oh God...It feels good to laugh!”

“Rogue?”

“J...Ah need your help....” She sat up and grinned. “You gotta help me get back at Logan.”

“Oh no.” Jubilee spread her hands in front of her, backing into the hall. “Not again.”

“C’mon J. Just one little prank?”

Marie paused, her grin mischievous.

“He won’t be mad.”

Jubilee turned and ran.