Angst. Nervousness. Phobias and plain paranoia.

Don’t know who put those in me. Yeah. Put them in me. It’s much easier to think that they’re something thrust upon me just like adamantium covering my bones than that I started out this way. Logically thinking I have been a kid at some point. Have you ever seen a kid shying his own shadow? Pacing restlessly through the night, trying to stay awake as long as possible? Seen any kid refusing even the lightest touch, pushing away everybody and everything from around him?

Yeah. It’s easier to blame somebody.

I blame them. People who took my life and gave me a new one. Behind closed doors, in a tank filled with cool liquid. They fucked with my body. Isn’t it only fair to assume that they screwed my mind as well? Severed connections and created new ones that were never supposed to exist in human being.

I’m assuming things.

It’s easier to assume than just roll over and accept. If I accepted, I might as well find goons that worked with Stryker and give them thumbs up for the job well done. Hell, I might as well step in front of Congress for behalf of Jean and tell them to go on with the Registration Act. Yeah. That’ll be the day…

It was a small victory for prof and Jean. To get it revoked.

Small victory. Now they’re both gone, and debate has started again. McCoy and that Worthington’s brat are doing their best, but it’s starting to look like their best isn’t enough. Up until now it has been for our favor, but last round was a draw. Won’t take long before scale dips again, and it won’t be for us anymore.

War is still brewing.

So. What the fuck am I still doing here? Moping around and busting my ass for people whom most likely end up to camps anyway? That’s a no-brainer. There’s one thing I have accepted. One responsibility I have taken. One promise I have made. One life I have sworn to protect.

Kid.

Fuck it. She’s not a kid anymore. She’s a grown woman. With a husband and a child of her own. Small critter, probably weighs less than my right palm. Bright blue eyes and blond hair from her father, smile and laughter from her mother. Anchors me here for the duration.

Marie and Bobby aren’t stupid.

They know full well that something’s going to give soon. Certain people are ready to cave in. They have taken precautions. Stashed away money, formed a network of safe locations and secured routes to each and every one of them. I have helped as much as I could. Sat with them to the wee hours of dawn in the kitchen, hunched over piles of papers and maps. Checked out houses. Gathered intel. All well planned up, until one night they literally dropped a bomb to my hands.

“You’re the best there is.”

Bobby had drained his last beer. I was patting my pockets to find my lighter when Marie walked in, carrying their sleeping baby.
“Could you hold her a moment, I need to get some water.”

Paranoid, but not paranoid enough.

Sooner I realized they had left me alone with the baby. Bobby had gone outside for a smoke, Marie had left to get a blanket from their room, and I was alone in the kitchen. Clock ticking on the wall and small bundle snoring at the crook of my elbow. I should have known they were up to something when Marie was taking her sweet time to find that fucking blanket and Bobby was savoring his cigarette like it was the last one on top of the earth.

I should have known.

They started doing it more often ever since. Good old uncle Logan. Patient and reliable when it came to anything relating to Marie. Babysitting when they wanted to go out. Looking after baby when they were in Danger Room. Learning how to bottle feed and change diapers. Getting accustomed to the critter.

And the moment is getting closer.

At first it looked like they couldn’t care less. Entirely too young parents, just kids gotten stuck with an unwanted package, trying to push that said package to first passer-by. Now it has changed. If I want to spend any time at all with the baby, I have to practically kidnap her from Marie and Bobby. They try their best to get angry, but I can see relief behind their annoyed glances. They have reached their goal. They can take care of themselves; they probably will get through if something happens. Baby will get through what ever happens.

She’s mine.