Ah lied. Big time. When Scott asked me why Ah helped Jean, Ah came up with some bull shit Dawson's Creek monologue about togetherness and all that smack. Truth is Ah only did it cause Ah needed to prove something to myself. That Ah could do something the Glorious Jean couldn't. And that's save her.

But the one verity of the whole conversation is that Jean and Ah are from completely different sides of the spectrum. She's Gap, Ah'm Hot Topic, She's N'Sync, Ah'm Trent Reznor, which technically does make me better than her, at least in our taste of music, it doesn't matter to others, it doesn't matter to Scott, no matter how many times he's borrowed my copy of the Fragile.

She has this nimbus of perfection, family, friends, adoring fans, even her mutation gains her sympathy while mine draws looks of morbid intrest or outright disgust. 'Come See Vampire Chick' That'll be me after high school traveling in some side show next to the Bearded Lady and the Pickled Punks.

Ah'll be the Soul Geek, instead of biting the heads off the chickens Ah'll just sucks em dry.

But fuck it ya know, Ah came here cause Ah was told Ah could get help. To be truthful Ms. Darkholme helped me out a lot more than the Prof has so far. Our weekly meetings have been forstalled well into the forseeable future do to Jean's increased powers, the reason offically being "Jean's powers are more formidable and therefor produce a greater risk of accidental harm". In other words. Rogue gets to cover up in 80 degree weather cause Jean impales people otherwise. So they've taken priority, which is fine cause now Ah have an extra hour to hang with Risty, who'll be here in about 15 minutes to pick me up.

Mah fellow paraiah, has become the focal point of mah attention, aside from Scott. The funny thing is she has mastered the ability to ingade herself into the hoi polloi even to the point were they accept her obviously alternaitive attitudes, with the practiced grace of a forgien embassary. Kinda neat, like watching James Bond switch IDs, except with out the costume change.

But still there's Scott, the one that began this whole internal monolgue. Ah've been a real bitch to him lately, but everytime Ah begin to feel guilty about mah actions he goes and does something that justifies everything.

Yesterday when Ah drained Jean and he caught me, he just tossed me to Kitty, it just turned the knife a little rougher, and in a masochistic way it was okay cause he's Scott, Prince Royal of the Freaks, and Ah'm Rogue, the adopted little sister with the issues and a corset fetish.

But yesterday Ah did get a good look at what she really thinks of me. Ah also know that it's wah she hasn't come ta thank me as proper decorum states, but ya know what fuck her, Risty's here and Ah want Subway.