redemption is the beautiful fantasy
where i sit you down and tell you the truth.
where it wouldn't breed the horror in your eyes.
where i wouldn't be seen as the broken one.
now would it again be lying to say
i am ok now ?
i am always fine, of course.
i only have to lie about the bruises
once in a while.

trust is the stained glass mirror
you don't know yet that i've cracked.
you don't know i'm hiding the shattered glass.
you had no reason to doubt my words.
now would you again believe me that i
never meant to deceive?
but i was so afraid, and
for all my boasts of closeness i can't bear
for you to see me this way.
not again.

three nights ago, i tried to cry.
i should have tried a little harder
to hide the broken skin.
i burned the evidence, threw away
the pain.
but i saved the ashes and i wear them
in my hair.
Eurydice hasn't woken up yet,
and Orpheus is already gone.

darkness is the form of colorblindness
where i try to smile and feel it stretch.
where i try to pretend this just will go away.
where i remember what it was like to breathe.
now would it be drowning if i'm still
bone dry inside?
i touch the wound and it feels like sand.
i remember the blood and the ache
always driving deeper.

light is the dream that keeps me warm.
you tell me you're so proud of me.
you tell me i'm such a good girl.
you would hurt so much under the truth.
now would you again hold me because i'm
terrified of what i've done?
i am not supposed to be this;
i am supposed to be a creator
not a destroyer.

last night i tried again to cry.
i should have tried a little harder
to be someone else than me.
i burned the soul, threw away the
ache.
but i kiss the ashes and lock them in
my box.
Eurydice is left all alone.
And Orpheus never came at all.