Trying to keep the desperate shaking from her hands Rogue parked the truck and climbed out of the cabin. The cold wind that blew rain at her barely penetrated the fog in her mind as she trudged through the gravel coated parking lot to the door of Holly’s Place.

Slipping inside she headed for the back, her head down, a sad expression on her face. Sinking into the booth she glanced sharply at the shadow that fell over the table even as the familiar cup and hot steaming brew before her registered in her mind.

“All alone tonight?” Holly asked softly, noting the puffiness around Rogue’s eyes.

“Yes,” Rogue whispered sadly before turning to stare into her cup. She was alone tonight, and she’d remain alone forever. She knew they hadn’t meant for her to know that they’d left Logan behind; that he’d fallen in battle and instead of finding him and bringing him back they’d just deserted him.

It hurt to realize that they thought so little of her attachment to Logan that they couldn’t even be bothered to tell her that he’d fallen. She could still feel the imprint of Jean’s hand on her face when she’d ranted at the older woman about leaving him.

~He never wanted you. Do you have any idea how foolish you’ve looked following after him like some puppy?~

The jealousy and anger in Jean’s voice had slipped into Rogue’s heart and chilled it even as she denied Jean’s words.

~He wants me, not some little brat who doesn’t know what she’s doing. Logan ain’t the kind to be a teacher. He’s got a little peace now, he was getting tired of having to put up with you anyway!~


Swallowing harshly Rogue forced Jean’s words out of her mind and focused on the coffee before her. The dark brew kept her focused, kept her from dwelling on the pain of knowing that her dreams had ended long before they’d had a chance to come true.


“She sure looks lonesome,” Bart drawled as he eyed a pair of truckers that came through maybe twice a month, “And Walt and Eddie don’t look like they’ve got the sense the Good Lord gave an ant.”

Holly cracked a grin at that, “Something tells me her man’s workin’ tonight and it’s got her down. Either that or some things happened to the man.”

“More like some things happened. Don’t see her being that depressed cause he’s working.”

“Could be right,” Holly replied even as she moved off to fill Walt and Eddie’s coffee cups. Pouring steadily she glanced at them then back at the strong brew she was pouring, “Word of advice fellas. You’ll leave that one alone,” she whispered.

“What do you mean? We ain’t done nothing?” Walt cracked a smug grin at that statement.

“She ain’t one of the usual bar flies that comes over here. She’s got a man, and he’s a helluva lot tougher than you two.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You remember Wolfe?” Holly asked softly, “Remember those ten guys who were all set to pound him. Her man is the one that saved him, single handedly. You wanna mess with that?”

“No,” Walt declared glancing at the tired, sad looking young woman sitting alone. The pain rolling off her was almost tangible and he wondered what could have affected her so deeply.


Sniffing softly, Rogue picked at the table top even as one hand clung to the coffee cup. Holly had been quiet and smiled softly every time she’d filled it but Rogue had to admit the other woman was getting on her nerves. Everything was it was like she was being pulled under in a flood of broken glass. Everything hurt, each move, each breath drew blood and there was no way for her to stop it.

Biting her lip she glanced out the window at the older black rig that pulled to a halt behind her truck and idled there for a few moments as the cab light came on then went out again. It was probably someone hitching a ride and she turned her attention back to the cracks in the table determined not to cry, at least not yet.

The tinkling of the bell as the door swung open didn’t rouse her from her grief stricken stupor. Instead she took another sip of the tepid coffee and blinked as her gaze focused instead on the seam of her glove.


The torn leather that hung off Logan’s shoulders drew a shudder from Holly who grabbed a cup as she met his gaze. The look in his dark eyes was pure hell, rage, despair, pain, and something she didn’t want to name. Swallowing Holly watched the other two men in the place clear out as Logan stalked toward the back booth.

“Dangerous,” Bart muttered to her as he moved to the swinging doors that marked the entrance to the kitchen.

“Perhaps,” Holly replied moving slower than usual as she followed him. She winced at the tension in his body as he came to a stop at the end of the table, and wondered just what could have driven him to just lengths.

“Hey kid,” Logan muttered as he slid into the booth and bumped her shoulder, “You pissed at me or something?”

“NO,” Rogue whispered tearfully as she glanced at him. “You aren’t real; you’re just a figment of my imagination. They said you were dead.”

“Yeah well, nobody ever said the geeks were intelligent,” Logan grimaced and pulled her closer to his warmth. “Nothing would ever stop me from coming back to you. I’m sorry that you were sad.”

Rogue nodded slightly before turning to look him in the eye before hugging him tightly, her face buried in his chest as she sobbed, “I love you so much Logan. I don’t want to be a burden to you anymore.”

“What do you mean a burden?” Logan muttered softly even as Holly deposited his coffee and retreated a safe distance away.

“Jean said that you’re tired of putting up with me,” Rogue whispered sadly, still not entirely convinced this was Logan holding her but beyond caring. “She said this was better for you, that death was better than dealing with me.”

Cursing profusely Logan pushed Rogue away and looked into her eyes, “It doesn’t work that way baby. Jean’s just got something up her ass cause she can’t have what you’ve got and she knows it. Don’t take anything she says to heart, she’s a lying bitch.”

Staring into his eyes Rogue felt something within her shift, some small part of her that held her doubts; her insecurities fall away and smiled tearfully. “I missed you so much Logan. I know it’s not something we can have but I think you should know.”

Logan nodded, Rogue was right. They couldn’t show their emotions at the mansion, couldn’t reveal their love without fear of reprisals from the others. For them this was their escape, their special place where they could have more than a surface friendship. “We’ve always got this baby, always.”

Snuggling deeper into his embrace Rogue knew that it would take time but Logan would reveal what had happened out there, and until then she’d just be thankful that they had an escape, and that she could hold him, even if it was only for a little while.