Rogue silently watched the man she loved sleep, fighting tears. He promised he wouldn’t hurt her, he promised to take care of her, but he hurt her more than she thought she could ever be hurt. Earlier that day, an accidental brush of skin on skin, it happened occasionally, they were used to it. But the memory she took from him made her heart constrict in her chest.

It was the first thing she had gotten fro him, the memory must have been at the top of his mind. A woman, no more than a few years older than her was the focus of the memory. The woman looked just like her. And Logan was making love to her.

Not having sex, making love. At first she’d thought the memory was from years before, but when she focused on the memory, she realized it had been from a few weeks, no more than a month before.

Logan had cheated.

She hadn’t said anything yet. She was waiting for the anger, the rage. Anything but the pain that coursed through her body. It hadn’t come yet. And the worst part was she understood. She knew it couldn’t be easy being with someone you couldn’t touch. The memory of how Logan had run his hands over the woman’s pale skin tormented her.

Inside she knew it wasn’t a good excuse, but to see Logan touch another woman because he couldn’t touch her… it made her want to curl into herself and cry.

She knew she couldn’t keep it to herself, but she didn’t know what to do. After ridding her eyes of her tears, she carefully moved out of the bed they shared. When he shifted, searching for her, she winced.

“Where you going, darlin’?” he asked groggily.

“Just getting a drink.” she answered, hoping he wasn’t awake enough to smell her tears.

“Hurry back.” he mumbled as he drifted off.

She nodded even though he couldn’t see her and left the room. Walking the halls for a short time she found herself in front of the Professor’s office. As she expected, he was still awake. “Come in.” he called to her quietly. “Rogue. Why are you up so late?”

Her mouth opened, but she found words beyond her. ~Read mah mind, Professor.~ she projected.

He frowned, but did as she requested. A minute later, he pulled back and looked at her with sympathetic eyes. “I’m sorry, Rogue. Do you want me to make him think he’s a little girl?” she shook her head with a half-sob half-laugh. A few seconds later, her head was in his lap as she cried. He lightly stroked her hair until she calmed. “What do you what to do?”

“Ah don’t know, but Ah don’t think Ah can stay.”

“I understand.” he paused. “I was going to ask you in the morning, but now seems like a good time as any. I have a mission for you. It’s a recon job. Undercover. It’s an enormous risk, but I had hoped you would agree to do it.”

“Away from the mansion?”

“Yes.”

“Ah’ll do it.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“Do you wish to leave tonight?”

“No, Ah have to at least tell him why.”

“Of course. Under the circumstances, I will have the Blackbird ready at ten in the morning.”

“Thank ya, Professor.” She stood and gave him a sad smile.

He grasped her hand reassuringly. “Eventually, everything will become clear.”

She shook her head, “Ah hope so.”

She left his office and walked to the kitchen. After grabbing a bottle of water, she walked to the library and settled into one of the over-stuffed chairs. Despite the turmoil in her mind, she quickly fell asleep.

Two hours later, Logan woke to a cold bed. After looking around the room and not seeing Marie, he stood and opened the door. Following her scent, he quickly found her in the library, curled into a chair. Not wanting to wake her, he gently picked her up, noting she held his dog tags tightly in her fist.

He held her protectively to his chest and walked back to their bedroom. He settled her in the bed and wrapped her in his arms. After softly kissing the top of her head, he swiftly fell back asleep.

When Marie woke the next morning, she was in her own bed, alone. Briefly wondering how she got there, she figured Logan must have brought her to bed. She sighed, “How am Ah going to do this?” The silent room gave her no answer.

A quick glance at the clock showed it to be 9:23. She stood, looking around the room. For the first time in more than a year, she noticed how little of her there was in the bedroom they shared. Thinking about it, she knew it was because she hadn’t wanted to make him claustrophobic. Tried to make everything seem as if she had just stayed the night.

Cursing as tears started to fall, she grabbed a duffel and haphazardly tossed her belongings in. Her stuff barely filled the small bag. After grabbing her toiletries and closing the bag, she sat heavily on the bed, feeling lightheaded.

“Damn it, Logan! Why did ya have to ruin everything?” Clasping the dog tags in her hand, she fought the wave of grief that threatened to overwhelm her. When she realized what she was doing, she bit her lip and drew the tags over her head. Dropping them on the pillow, she closed her eyes and dropped her face to her hands.

The phone ringing made her jump and made her heart race. She took a few calming breaths and answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Rogue? It’s Hank. I have something I think you will like. Will you come down to my office?”

“Ah don’t know, Hank. Ah have to-”

“It won’t take long. I promise.”

She sighed, “Okay. I’ll be right down.”

“See you in a minute then.”

They hung up and after splashing water on her face, she left the room. Walking quickly to his office, she wondered what it was this time. Months ago Hank had discovered that she would never be able to control her skin. Just as her heart needed to beat, her skin killed.

Logan had spent the night making love to her, convincing her he didn’t care about her skin. That the bodysuits, the scarves, the condom every time didn’t matter to him. She’d believed him then. Now it was painfully obvious how much it did matter to him.

She walked into Hank’s office after knocking and gave him a small smile. “What is it, Hank?”

“This.” he answered, holding up a simple gold band.

Her brows drew together, “What is it?”

“This ring emits an EM pulse when attached to the wearer. In most cases, it would electrify the skin. In your case, it might neutralize it.”

Her eyes widened, “Really?”

“It’s not 100%, but there’s a good chance it’ll work.”

She nodded, “Ah’ll try it.” After pulling the glove off her right hand, she took a deep breath. Holding out her hand, she tried to control her shaking. Since he was wearing gloves, he slid the ring on her middle finger. They were silent while she felt a shiver go down her spine and her skin broke out in goose bumps.

“Well?” he asked.

“Ah feel all tingly.”

“Do you wish to test it?” She nodded, “Perhaps Logan-”

“No, not him.”

Hank frowned for a moment, then nodded. “Of course. Then who should we get to assist us?”

“I will.” They turned to see the Professor smiling at them.

“Ya sure, Professor?”

“Yes, Rogue.” He held his hand out to her.

She took a tentative step forward and lifted her hand only to draw it back. She took a deep breath and steadied herself. Lightly brushing her fingers over the back of the Professor’s hand, she choked back a cry when there was no pull.

“It worked.” Hank said, a large smile on his face.

Rogue and the Professor shared a bittersweet smile, “Thanks, Hank.” she said softly.

“A pleasure, my dear.”

Rogue tried to smile at him, but it was caught in a sob. She covered her mouth with her hand and with a quick apology, fled the room.

Hank watched her, concerned. “I had hoped for a better reaction.”

Xavier placed a hand on Hank’s arm, “She’ll be grateful when she feels better.”

“Is she ill?”

“A sickness of the heart, my friend.”

Hank was silent for a moment, but then there was a low growl, “Logan.”

Xavier nodded, “I’m afraid so.”

Marie ran up to their room, ignoring the concerned calls behind her. When she opened the door, she froze. “Logan.”

He looked up at her and she swallowed nervously. In one hand, he held his tags and the other was clenched tightly into a fist. “What’s goin’ on, Marie?” he asked with a growl.

She bit her lip as she walked in and closed the door. “Ah’m leaving.”

A growl echoed across the room. “Why?”

She closed her eyes and felt her throat tighten painfully. “Last night, in the bathroom. When ya touched me, Ah got a memory. About a month ago, ya went into town, to a bar. What took ya so long?” she asked, even though she already knew the answer.

His expression went from anger to guilt in a second. “Marie, baby. I’m sorry. It just happened. I-”

“If you say, ‘I was drunk’ Ah’m going to hit you.”

He clenched his jaw and shook his head. “I wasn’t gonna say that. I just…I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

She laughed humorlessly. “What, you slipped? ‘Sorry, honey, didn’t mean to. Do you mind if I keep going?’ Ah don’t think so.”

When he remained silent, she felt her eyes sting. “Ah know it’s not easy being with meh. Ah honestly thought ya could handle it. But ya can’t, that much is obvious.” she idly played with the ring on her finger. “Ah’m leaving soon.”

His head turned to her and he looked at her with pained eyes. “Marie, darlin’. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. I swear, just don’t leave me.”

Tired of holding them back, she let the tears fall. “Ah can’t stay, Logan. Ah can’t.” she was sobbing, her emotions finally having gotten the best of her.

Logan quickly walked to her, framing her face in his hands. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave. It’ll never happen again. I promise.”

She watched him in amazement, he was almost frantic and hadn’t yet realized he held her face in his bare hands. In an almost desperate move , she kissed him, not wanting to lose her opportunity to touch him without killing him.

He was frozen in shock for a moment until he realized there was no deadly pull. With a growl, he crushed her to him, his tongue immediately plunging into her mouth to taste her. With a small whimper, she pushed him away. Brushing his thumb almost reverently over her lips, his voice came out hoarse.

“How?”

She stepped away and his hand fell to his side. Showing him the ring, she explained. “Hank made it. He said it emits an EM pulse. It nullifies my skin.”

“That’s great, darlin’. We can-”

“No. We can’t. Ah’m still leaving.”

“You kissed me. I thought you…”

She cringed, “Ah know. Ah’m sorry.” Walking around him, she grabbed her duffel off the bed. “Ah shouldn’t have, but Ah just wanted to know how it felt.”

A second later, the duffel was pulled from her grasp and his lips covered hers. Her hands came up to push him off, but after being denied for so long, she instead found herself holding him close. His mouth moved expertly over hers, so familiar, but at the same time different.

His mouth moved down to her neck, his lips leaving a moist trail. She moaned and tilted her head back to allow him better access. He took advantage, lightly biting down on the sensitive skin. She jumped, making him chuckle. He had moved them backwards with out her noticing and lowered them to the bed.

As she felt familiar pressure, reality hit her like a hammer and she pushed him off. “No, no, no. Ya can’t do that. It’s not fair.” She stood and grabbed her duffel, “Please let me go. Ah can’t stay. Every time Ah close my eyes Ah see you with her. Loving her, pleasuring her. Ah’ll go insane if Ah stay.”

“I’ll make it go away.” he promised. “Just tell me how.”

“Let meh go.” she answered sadly.

“Never.”

She turned away from him and covered her mouth with her hand, trying to muffle her sobs. He came around her and dropped to his knees. Grasping her tightly to him, he buried his face in her stomach. “I’ll make it better. But I can’t do that if you’re gone. Give me a chance. I’ll make it better. Please.”

With a pang, she realized the wetness she felt on her stomach was his tears. Her answering tears fell from her face, landing in hair. She closed her eyes and laced her hands through his hair. “Ah love you.” she said softly, making his hands tense almost painfully into her sides. But he didn’t say it back.

As she looked down at the top of his head, she realized she wouldn‘t be able to do it alone.

~Jean, please help me!~

~What’s wrong, Rogue?~

In a frantic thought, she relayed everything to her. Jean’s voice was sad as she responded. ~I’ll be right there.~

Her lips trembled and she sank down in front of him. “Ah love you.” she repeated. “Nothing can ever change that.” His eyes searched her face and she memorized the lines of his face. She heard distant voices and placed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Ah’m sorry.”

He frowned, “Why?” he asked, his voice low.

She turned her head to the door as it opened and Jean stepped in, followed by Scott and Remy. Bobby was slightly behind them, his face concerned. Marie started to stand, but Logan was quicker as he stood and thrust her behind him. “Get out.” he growled.

Jean gave him a sad smile, “Rogue has requested my help. It would be easier if you let her leave with us.”

“Not gonna happen.” he growled, surprising everyone by releasing his claws.

“Logan. Please-” Marie started, but his angry growl stopped her.

“You ain’t leaving me!” she jumped back, startled by the anger in his voice.

When she went to step around him and he pushed her towards the bed, Jean attempted to paralyze him with her telekinesis, but all the emotion flying in the room made it hard for her to concentrate. His anger made her flinch as he fought against her control. The noises he was making started to sound increasingly feral and Jean sent a physic SOS to the Professor.

He acknowledged her, and she felt his presence in the room. A moment later Logan froze, then slumped to the floor, unconscious. His claws quickly drew back into his hands.

Marie sat on the floor, her eyes pinned to Logan. She crawled to him and moved his head to her lap. “Is he okay?” she asked softly.

Jean crouched beside them and rested a hand on her shoulder. “The Professor just stunned him, Rogue. He should be up and around shortly.”

Rogue nodded and slowly ran her hands through his hair. “I never wanted any of this.” She raised tear-streaked eyes to Jean. “Is it really so much to ask to be happy?”

“I would like to say it’s not, but with who we are… It occasionally seems that way.”

Marie leaned over to press a kiss to his forehead, and rested there for a moment. After taking a few deep breaths, trying to memorize his scent, she looked up to meet Jeans sympathetic gaze. “You’ll make sure he’s okay?” she asked as she moved her hand over his beloved face.

“As much as he’ll allow.” Jean responded. After a moment of silence, she frowned and looked to Marie. “If you’re going to go, it needs to be soon.”

Marie nodded and kissed him lightly on the lips, lingering for a long moment. Then, after moving his head from her lap to the floor, she stood on shaky legs. Grabbing her small duffel, she gave the room one last look before walking to the door.

She stopped as she reached it and chanced one last look at Logan’s prone form. Then she clenched her jaw and walked to the awaiting jet.

Marie, or Rose as she was going by these days, idly scanned the crowd. Three months had gone by since that day she had left the mansion and she still found herself thinking about it. More than anything, she wanted to move forward and get on with her life. But he was still on her mind. Every damn day. It was frustrating to say the least and still painful every time she remembered the feel of the last kiss they’d shared. It wasn’t fair, but then again, life rarely was.

Plastering a smile on her face when a pair of familiar lips pressed gently to her neck, she turned. “Michael.” Kissing him lightly, she drew back and studied the man before her. Tall, just over six feet with dark brown eyes and light brown hair. Classic good looks hid his true nature. He was Michael Turner, CEO, millionaire, playboy, scumbag. And completely in love with her. If it wasn’t for the fact that he routinely bought and sold children, mutant and human, she would have decked him long ago.

He was her mission. The one that Xavier had asked her if she wanted that night. To catch the sick son of a bitch and make sure he rotted in prison. It was actually a favor for a friend of Xavier’s’ who had gotten so close to catching him on numerous occasions only to miss out in the end. Knowing the extent to which each of Xavier’s people were trained, they’d asked and gotten her. A mole, a spy.

She’d been working him for two months and knew that she was close. She also knew that she was lucky. After all, who would suspect the petite southern gal with the slow drawl? People saw her as his current arm candy, but after accidentally finding the engagement ring in his desk when looking for evidence, she figured he saw their relationship as more.

At first, she was surprised, as the had only known each other for two months. But after thinking about it, she realized it was completely in character for him. He saw something he wanted and went after it aggressively. And he wanted her. The story she fed him made her only seem more appealing. Her story of being a rich orphan with no family must have made her seem more than perfect. The fact that he had checked to make sure she was who she said she was, well, it just reinforced how paranoid he was. And how good she was. Her cover story was backed by Xavier’s’ millions and even she was impressed with her acting ability.

“Shall we?” he offered his arm and she delicately placed her hand on his sleeve.

Putting on her simpering smile and greeting his guests like a good hostess would, she made the rounds on his arm.

An hour later, she was standing on a large balcony that overlooked impressive gardens. She was almost twitching with the need for a cigarette. An unfortunate habit she had picked up during her month of moping. Or as Xavier would say, ‘coping’. She snorted and took a deep breath. Coping my ass, she thought, she had been feeling sorry for herself and she knew it.

She sighed, she hated the fact that he had cheated on her, yet she still couldn’t get over him. It was almost embarrassing, but she had been in love with him. It wasn’t something that she could easily get over. If she ever would.

A tickling at the base of her spine had her tensing. Then, as fast as the tension came, it left, leaving the ever present ache in her heart and the mind-numbing anger.

“What are ya doing here?” she hissed out.

“Aww, darlin’. Don’t sound so happy to see me.” Logan drawled out slowly, moving from the dark shadows as she turned to face him.

“Oh, Ah’m really not.” she shot back. “Ya need ta get out of here before someone sees ya.”

“Now why would I do that? I spend three months looking for you and now you’re telling me to leave?”

She gave a derisive laugh and crossed her arms over her chest. “Huh, you’re really not as stupid as ya look.”

As she turned to leave, he grabbed her arm and spun her back around. “Dammit Marie. You can’t just expect me to go after all the time I spent looking for you.”

“Yes, Ah can. Ah never asked for ya to look for meh, and Ah didn’t ask for ya to interrupt my life once again. So get a clue and go away.” she jerked away from him, breaking his grip. As he reached for her again, Michael’s voice stopped him.

“Rose, darling. Is everything alright?” His mere presence sent a shiver of distaste through her, but she pasted a fake smile on her face. She hated that he used the same endearment as Logan, but had grown used to hearing it.

She turned and walked to him, placing a hand on his arm. “Of course, Michael.” She turned back to face Logan. “This is Logan. An unfortunate…incident from mah past.”

Michael nodded, “We all have them, love.” She almost rolled her eyes at the condescending tone, but managed to refrain.

“He was just leaving.” she said, staring at Logan.

Logan scoffed, “The hell I was.”

She inwardly groaned. Why did he have to be so stubborn? Marie shook her head discreetly, hoping Logan would get the message then turned away from him to face Michael. “Call security.”

Without a backwards glance, she walked away.

Marie stepped out of the bathroom, clad in a silk robe, fresh from the shower. As she stood at her vanity and placed her earrings and necklace in her jewelry box, her door opened and closed almost soundlessly.

Closing her eyes, she let out a soft breath of air. “Ah really don’t think Ah could have made mahself any clearer earlier.” she stated calmly. Her back still to him, she slipped the suppression ring off her finger. The familiar shiver ran down her spine as she placed it on the corner of the table.

A quiet moment passed before his voice broke the silence, “I ain’t afraid to touch you Marie, never have been.” She swallowed hard, maybe he wasn’t afraid to touch her, but she couldn’t say the same about herself.

“No, not afraid.” she admitted. “Not afraid to touch meh, just afraid to touch only meh.”

She saw him flinch in the mirror, and felt slightly gratified. “That isn’t what happened, darlin’.”

“Don’t call meh that.” she said sharply.

“Why not? Only your new boyfriend can call you that?” he growled.

She smirked, “Something like that. Ya lost the privilege to call meh anything but stranger.”

“Marie-”

“Don’t call meh that either. The walls have ears.” True, but he didn’t have to know that she swept for bugs months ago. When she found the first one, she had gone to Michael in a fake panic, telling him that someone was spying on her. He of course, comforted her and told her that he would protect her and find out who it was. Another bug showed up the next day. That one was moved into the empty room next door.

He growled, frustrated. After a moment of silence, he sighed and his shoulders slumped. “I miss you, Marie.”

She felt her heart twist at his honest admission, but hardened herself. “Ah don’t care, Logan. Why are ya here?”

“I came to bring you back.”

She scoffed, “Back to what, Logan? The mansion? The X-men? You?”

He came up behind her, “If you came back to me, I would do everything in my power to make you happy. I want you to be happy, where I can keep you safe.” He lightly brushed his finger across the back of her exposed neck and she gasped, her entire body filling with need.

Jerking away from him, she moved a safe distance and turned to him. “Ah can take care of mahself Logan.” Her voice was strong, but she could feel her entire body trembling.

“I know, that darlin’. But I can’t help but worry when I can’t see you, smell you, feel you.” With each word he moved closer and her resolve got weaker.

“Logan, please.”

“Please what, Marie. You know you only have to ask.”

“Get out.” Her voice was weak and she cursed herself, but held his gaze.

He took a step forward, she took a step backwards and tensed when her back touched the wall. Before she could step away, he pinned her with his body, his legs holding hers to the wall. His hands landed on either side of her head, and knowing she wouldn’t move for fear of draining him, he smirked.

“Now we both know you don’t want that.”

“Don’t tell meh what Ah want, Logan.” She met his eyes and immediately looked away. “Don’t look at meh like that.”

“Like what?” he questioned, taking a deep breath.

An involuntary shiver ran through her when she realized he was smelling her and she swallowed hard. “Like ya love me. Ya can’t do that anymore.”

“I’ll always love you darlin’. Ain’t nothing gonna change that. Just like you love me.”

“Ya are right, I will always love ya Logan. But Ah’ll never make the mistake of trusting ya again.”

He winced slightly and took a deep breath, “Marie. It was a mistake. A one-time stupid mistake. It will never happen again.”

“Will, ya are right about that. It won’t happen again, because Ah am not stupid enough to make the same mistake twice.”

“Marie-”

“No! Dammit, Logan. You cheated on meh! Ah can’t just forget that.”

“I know darlin. I know.” He studied her for a few moments before lowering his gaze. “You are everything to me. Everything. I just… I need you to forgive me. These last few months have been hell, darlin. I can’t function without you, I need you so much. Please, Marie, please. Forgive me.”

When his gaze returned to hers, she was shocked to see him so vulnerable. “Logan.” She whispered. Using the silk sleeve of her robe, she touched the side of his face tenderly before shaking herself. “No. Ah can’t.” Pushing at him, she couldn’t even get him to shift and growled in frustration. “Let me go, Logan.”

“Never.” A moment later, his lips touched hers and without any barriers, he poured into her. She gave a soft cry as all his love, frustration, and his loneliness from the last few months hit her. She felt his guilt because of the encounter in the back room of a truck stop and his grief when he realized she was gone. Then suddenly he was gone as he slumped to his knees, breathing heavily.

She stared a him for a moment, her eyes wide, before turning and resting her forehead on the wall. She groaned as she tried to sort through his memories, his feelings. When a wave of wanting hit her hard, she clenched her fists and started taking even breaths. Hearing Logan moving behind her, she slowly turned, willing her body to calm. It worked marginally and she found the courage to meet his gaze head on.

“Feel better?” she snarked.

He ignored her sarcasm and simply stared at her for a moment before he moved swiftly, his hand taking hers and slipping a ring onto her finger. The tingling on her skin she associated with the suppression ring ran though her body and she jerked away from him. A quick glance at her vanity displayed the ring and she looked at him in shock. “How…”

“Hank is a perfectionist, darlin’. He gave me this one.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, “He did not.”

He smiled, “You’re right. I stole it.”

She rolled her eyes. “Ah thought you weren’t afraid to touch meh Logan.”

“I’m not darlin’. It just make this so much easier.”

“Makes what easier?”

He kissed her, his lips caressing hers expertly. All to easily, she melted into him, his want fueling hers. Quickly moving them to the bed, he stripped her of her robe leaving her bare to his eyes.

“You’re so beautiful darlin’.”

Her eyes grew heavy and she reached for him. For the first time, the caress of his lips was welcome. There was no hesitation from either of them, and she eagerly responded to his every touch. His hands brushed her aching breasts and she didn’t stop him when his mouth devoured every inch of her body.

His mouth returned to hers and when he entered her, she clenched around him in an automatic climax. She cried out his name, her nails digging into his back.

“Fuck, Marie.” he cursed. His body was tense as he lowered his head to nip at her neck.

“No marks.” she breathed out.

She felt him growl, and a second later he bit down on her neck hard, making her cry out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. “You’re mine, Marie. Always will be.”

Before she could respond to that, he snapped his hips to hers, making her cry out. “Logan!”

“That’s right, darlin’. Just like that. Fucking beautiful.” She arched into him as he repeatedly moved his hips, plunging deeply inside her with each thrust. She climaxed with ridiculous ease, her back arching as she held him to her tightly.

With one final plunge, he climaxed, pouring into her with a ferocious growl. The sound reverberated through her, and she felt a shiver go down her spine.

His breath was hot on her neck as he panted lightly, and she found that she was still holding him close. Her brain told her to kick him out, of her room, her life. But her body refused her orders.

When he turned to kiss her hungrily, she found herself responding. And when he slipped out of her a few minutes later and pulled her tightly into his arms, she found herself relaxing into him. Within minutes she was asleep.