Storm ran a hand through her white locks in frustration. Hands on hips, she looked around the room for the ninth time. Resuming her futile search in her handbag, she finally threw it down to the floor in contempt.

"Where could they be?"

Sighing heavily, Storm walked to her bedroom door and tried hard to remember what she did the day before, yet again.

"I came from the bank……spoke to Rogue……then came in here……went to open the window and then……I put them down on my dresser and……"

Realization hitting her all at once, Storm walked over to the corner of her attic loft shaking her head. Ascending the three steps to the palatial back window, she reached over and tapped on the enormous wire cage suspended there.

"Come out, I know it was you guys. No point in hiding."

A few seconds later, two small furry heads appeared out of the velvet flying cubbysack in the cage.

"Come out, you've been caught."

The bright eyed ferrets sniffed the air, testing if it was safe or not to proceed. Seeing only their beloved keeper, they slinked out and descended down the enormous wire maze-like cage to the door. Twitching their noses and stretching their long, lithe bodies up the side of the cage, they patiently waited to be picked up.

"You two have been busy little thieves haven't you?"

Zeus and Gaia just stared back with glassy eyes and a look of total fur-bearing innocence.

Not able to suppress a smile, Storm reached into the velvet sleep-cubby and took out her missing keys, an earring, a pen and two quarters. Finally, she picked up her babies and in response, Zeus and Gaia went limp and closed their eyes in her arms. Rubbing them softly, Storm gave them a quick kiss and brought them up to eye-level. They regarded her in quiet curiosity.

"I'm going to the mall, so back in you go, but when I get back, we're discussing your little bad habit."

Behind her Jean giggled. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"These guys hid my keys, were you waiting long?"

Bringing the furry thieves to her face, Storm gave them each another quick kiss and put them back in the cage.

"No, I just finished getting ready." Jean walked over to the cage and wrinkled her nose. "Ooo, they are so darn cute."

Storm shook her head, "Cute thieves. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in their little brains."

Looking at each other, Storm and Jean shared the same thought. After a second, they burst out laughing.

"We shouldn't."

"I could."

Looking down at the ferrets cuddled in the cubby once again, Storm relented with a gleam in her eye. "Go ahead, real quick."

Clearing her throat ceremoniously, Jean closed her eyes and furrowed her brow. A second later her eyes flung open. Storm eyed her friend in anticipation.

"Well?"

Jean giggled, "Food and sex."

"That's it?"

"Yup, that's it."

Slightly disappointed, Storm looked down at the tangle of long furry bodies. "So why do they steal?"

Jean arched her eyebrows. "Zeus is trying to impress Gaia with some shiny things, obviously. He's very much in love."

Grabbing her purse again, Storm smirked, "Kind of makes sense though."

Walking out behind Storm, Jean laughed even harder. Closing the door shut, the two women left never imagining that their moment of precocious curiosity had triggered a chain of events that would forever be referred to in Xavier's halls as the 'ferret fiasco.' For in her brief glimpse into the simple minds of Zeus and Gaia, Jean inadvertently triggered an exchange that left them with the power of the two minds she had scanned last - Nightcrawler and the Wolverine.

---

Scott reread the recipe twice before adding the prescribed amount of sugar. He was whistling a tune when he paused and grinned.

"Jean is gonna love that I made it myself."

Beast looked up from his 'Oprah's pick' book and smiled, "I am positive she will be most content indeed."

Scott beamed with pride as he began to mix the concoction, "Chocolate is her favorite."

"How many years has it been, Scott?"

"Three. I'm planning a romantic night out and a hotel in the ci….what the…."

Halfway through his explanation, a ferret materialized over the bowl Scott was mixing and landed square in the chocolate batter. Scott shrieked and fell back. Beast dropped his book and jumped from his place at the breakfast bar over to the floor.

"Scott are you okay, what troubles you?"

Unable to speak, Scott pointed to the bowl on the table. "S-s-s-something in the batter!"

Helping Scott stagger to his feet, both men cautiously approached the counter and looked into the bowl. As if on cue, a small head popped out sending them both reeling back.

"Aaghhh!!"

"Kill it!! Kill it!!"

Scott already had his hand on his glasses when Beast suddenly keeled over, holding his foot, knocking into the counter and sending the bowl sliding across it. Scott blasted the counter, singeing Beast's fur in the process.

Unaware of his friend's dilemma, Scott was still going after Gaia who was covered in chocolate and criss-crossing the entire kitchen. He managed to get his hands on her but gooey with batter, she slipped out, making Scott loose his balance and fall too. Now his glasses slid across the floor. Scott clamped his eyes shut but not before blasting through one of the walls in the kitchen.

"Beast my glasses!!"

Beast was having difficulties of his own. A feral looking Zeus had appeared out of nowhere and attacked his feet. Kicking and hollering at the vicious little monster gnawing at his exposed heels, Beast tumbled over onto the floor.

"Scott help!!"

"I'm coming!!"

Feeling along the floor on all fours, Scott found his glasses covered in batter. Putting them on, he kicked an overturned chair and raced to Beast's side to see what was wrong. It was still raining debris around him so Scott wasn't able to see the attacker until it turned on him.

"Aghhh!! Get it off!! Get it off!!"

Maiming Beast, Zeus had turned and jumped on Scott's neck. Scratching and biting, he brought Scott to his knees. Beast dragged himself over, but bitten badly on the pads of his feet he was of little help. Tripping over broken tile debris Beast went down again in a loud padded thump. Still on the loose, Gaia ran over Beast's back and poufed into thin air. Zeus took notice and quickly jumped off Scott's neck and followed his mate's scent.

Sprawled out among the ruins of the kitchen, Beast and Scott looked at each other. The normally civil and complacent Beast roared in uncharacteristic anger,

"I'm going to kill those damned ferrets!!"

Still wiping his glasses free from the gooey chocolate, Scott looked up holding his bitten neck,

"Not unless I get them first!"

Both X-Men, bandaged their war wounds as best they could with a shredded apron and limped out in search of their attackers. The chase had begun.

---

St. John and Jubilee were sprawled out in the backseat of an SUV in the garage house when St. John came up for breath.

"Did you hear that?"

Thinking it was an adult, Jubilee straightened out quickly and sat up. "Hear what?"

"I think I heard a blast."

Rolling her eyes and snapping her gum, Jubilee grabbed St. John by the collar and brought him down on her again. Five seconds later St. John came up again, straining to hear with his head cocked to one side.

"Maybe we're under attack."

"If we were under attack, dumbass, the sirens would have gone off!!"

Rubbing the steam that had collected on the window for clarity, St. John peered out cautiously one last time before regarding his girlfriend with his most serious looking expression.

"It always pays to be cautious, Jubes."

Not resisting the urge to laugh, Jubilee slapped a hand across her mouth. St. John glared at her with a huff and sat up.

"You never take me seriously, Jubes"

Sobering up, Jubilee sat also. "I'm sorry babe, it's just that you sound like Scott when you get like that."

Smiling at the comparison, St. John fiddled with the automatic window controls.

"You think I sound like Scott?"

Sighing thoughtfully Jubilee nodded, she knew St. John looked up to the fearless leader like a god. Talk about hero worship.

"Especially when you take control."

Battering her Asian eyes seductively, Jubilee hooked her leg over his. Remembering how hard it was to sneak away from the pack, St. John wasted no time and kissed Jubilee again. It was short lived though, because next thing they heard a thump on the roof of the car.

Jubilee stared at St. John with wide eyes, "Now that I heard."

Squaring his shoulders in his best fearless leader pose, St. John opened the door and looked around. What he saw made him double over in a sudden burst of laughter.

"What is it?"

Frustrated that he wouldn't tell her, Jubilee climbed out of the backseat, buttoning up her shirt as she went. What she saw made her blood run cold. It was Storm's pet rat.

"Ahhh!!! St. John get that thing off my jacket!!!"

Grabbing him by the arm, Jubilee shoved St. John towards a chocolate covered Gaia settling into her signature yellow pleather jacket. Jubilee was close to tears whining about her CD player in the pocket. Still chortling, St. John reluctantly went to shoo Gaia off when out of nowhere Zeus appeared and leaped on his back.

"Jubes get it off!!! Agghhh!!"

Screaming herself, Jubilee did the only thing she could, she zapped the critter with fireworks, but St. John was spinning around, clutching at his back and got caught in the way. Zeus jumped off to safety and retreated under the car. St. John was lucky to have been wearing a thick shirt. Fuming, literally, he sent a fireball to the one still on the coat, but Gaia poufed away in time, and he caught Jubilee's jacket instead.

Seeing her most beloved article of clothing go up in flames, Jubilee pounded on him until the SUV caught fire too. Grabbing the nearby fire extinguisher, St. John doused the fire, but Jubilee was now in the middle of a full fledge hissy fit.

"My jacket!! And it had my Backstreet Boys CD in it!! St.Johnnnn!!!"

Throwing down the extinguisher, St. John turned to face the house. He was next on line to be promoted, but when Scott would find out about him trashing one of the cars, his suitability would be questioned for sure. Already he and Bobby were on probation for saran-wrapping the toilets. Turning to Jubilee, he spit out with the most vindictiveness Jubilee had ever seen,

"Those little rats are gonna fry!!!"

Very familiar and on a first name basis with the concept of vindictiveness, Jubilee wiped her tears and agreed,

"I wanna watch!!"

---

Remy was singing in broken French as he shampooed his long auburn hair. He was going out with Storm that night. After pursuing her for about a year, she had completely floored him by finally saying yes to him. It was an exercise he kept up on a daily basis if anything just to keep his skills sharp, but weather goddess saying yes was the last thing he expected. Checking his reflection in the shaving mirror he kept in the shower, Remy smiled to himself.

"De goddess will be wined and dined like never before."

Rubbing his hands in anticipation, he went to grab his mango scented conditioning rinse, when out of nowhere a ferret poufed into the soap dish in front of him.

"Agghhh!!"

Jumping back, Remy pointed the shampoo bottle he was holding and squirted the ferret with his mango scented conditioning rinse. The quick movement made him slip on the suds still lining the tub and he ungracefully landed hard on his behind.

"Owww!"

Muttering curses in French, Remy reached for the shower curtain to get up, but it snapped out of it's rings and landed over him. Scrambling to stand under the tangled plastic curtain, Remy inadvertently turned the hot water knob, releasing a scalding stream of hot water over him. The water splashed everywhere in the small bathroom, while Gaia was swimming circles in the sink.

Finally able to climb out of the shower and turn the water off, Remy focused his red on black eyes on the little critter licking it's fur clean on his porcelain sink. Recognizing Gaia as one of Storm's pets, he was briefly tempted to blast her, but regaining some composure while his back ached from a burn and his butt hurt from the fall, Remy decided it best to just catch her. No point in upsetting the goddess now.

"Come to Remy, mon petit. Come here."

Gaia just looked at the naked, approaching Cajun with disinterest. Reaching for the sink, Remy slowly went to grab her, when he suddenly felt teeth on his ankle. The shock of the pain made Remy scream out again and by accident he charged the sink he was holding. Realizing that it would blow at any instant, he dove for his room just as the sink was obliterated to tiny fragments. Luckily Gaia had poufed out in time. Testing the air after the blast, Zeus ran out of the room, scrambling over Remy's scalded back as he continued his search.

"Remy gonna skin dis ferrets!!"

Behind, him the water was rushing onto the floor from where the sink was once attached. Grabbing the plastic shower, Remy wrapped it around his waist and charged out of the room, soaking wet, badly hurt, and muttering in French.

---

"So why is this integral not corresponding to the original answer?"

Kitty looked over at Bobby who was leaning his face on his hand and staring at her with a hazy look. Bobby liked Kitty a lot but she was so quiet, he never knew quite what to say. He wanted to ask her out, but Kitty scared easily. So following St. John's advice, he had taken to just following her around. Watching her do Calculus was somehow supposed to get the point across.

"What? Integral?"

Kitty flushed a bright red color.

"Bobby, you're not paying attention."

Embarrassed, Bobby flustered too. Despite the fact that he promised to help Kitty with her Calculus homework, he knew damn well he couldn't tell the difference between an integral and an isotope if it bit him in the ass.

"Are you sure this will be on the test?"

"Yes, The Professor said all of chapter six."

Cursing his luck, Bobby took the textbook and scanned it quickly. Kitty giggled brightly at Bobby's horrified expression and took it back.

"How do you expect to tutor me if you don't even know what an integral is, Bobby?"

Shaking his head in defeat, Bobby confessed,

"That stuff is just another language. I never understood why you took advanced Cal if it wasn't even a requirement."

Resisting the blush from covering her cheeks again, Kitty bit at her pen. Almost everyone at school made fun of her for getting good grades. She knew that Bobby was clueless to anything remotely related to math, but she had asked him to help her in hopes of just spending some time together. The library seemed the perfect choice, but it was clear that he was bored.

Noticing her dejected look, Bobby quickly added,

"But you'll do fine, you're like the smartest girl. Watch, you'll get a hundred, no doubt."

"Sure Bobby."

Kitty gave him a tight smile then started gathering up her books. She wondered what Jubilee would do in a situation like this.

"I'll catch you later then, Bobby."

Not sure what, but positive that he said something wrong, Bobby went to stop her.

"Wait."

Kitty turned to face him,

"What?"

Stuck with his eyebrows arched high on his forehead, Bobby racked his brain for an answer. He was temporarily hypnotized by the way her hair fell over her ears.

"I, ummm, I wrote you a poem."

Gasping, Kitty threw a hand over her heart.

"You did? Bobby you are so sweet."

She rushed forward and threw her arms around him. Pressing herself to him for half a second, Kitty then sat down with bright eyes. Her heart was close to bursting.

"No one has ever written me a poem Bobby, can't wait to hear it."

Still savoring the contact, Bobby grinned and then realized that he had gotten into an even bigger mess. Kitty was looking up at him expectantly, and he sat down stiffly. Taking Kitty's hand in his slowly, Bobby tried to think quick. He was sure Remy had at least a dozen poems memorized. In French, no less. The only one he knew would get him slapped for sure.

Seriously contemplating a break for it, Bobby prayed for divine intervention, when out of nowhere a water leak sprung over their head. Looking up, Bobby saw the plaster of the library ceiling starting to buckle. In one swift reaction he leaped to Kitty and she phased them both out of the way before a huge chunk of ceiling crushed the table they were sitting in. Through the gapping hole, a rush of water splashed to the library floor.

---

Scott and Beast ran into the television room with murder in their eyes.

"Where are they??"

Blinking once at each other and then once back at Scott and Beast, Bishop and Cable shrugged their shoulders in unison. They were playing Tekken 2 on their brand new Playstation 2.

Eyeing the blue polka dotted bandages their comrades wore, Cable stood up with his hand on his ever-present pulse rifle.

"What are you talking about? Is there trouble? Magneto, Sinister, Apocalypse!"

Beast was about to say something when he looked at Scott and shut his mouth again. Never having known that the furry blue doctor could actually be speechless, Bishop looked ready to kill too.

"Outer space? An alternate reality? Is it the space-time continuum again?"

Scott squirmed a little and cleared his throat. The spatula he was yielding as a weapon suddenly felt ridiculous. His voice was very small.

"It's the ferrets. They got loose."

Looking from one face to the other again, Cable and Bishop burst out laughing.

"Storm's ferrets? …….The ones that she carries in her pockets, …….did this?"

Pointing at the polka dotted bandages, Cable bent over in a fit of laughter. Beast and Scott clenched their jaws and wordlessly walked out, heads hung in shame.

The two X-men from the future plopped down on the sofa again. Cable looked over at Bishop who was grinning.

"I wasn't looking, you're a cheater."

---

"Bobby are you all right?"

Nodding with his head in his hands, Bobby surveyed the scene before him. Taking a moment to freeze the rush of water from the ceiling in place, he stood up and brushed his clothes.

"What the hell was that?"

Kitty plucked her Calculus book from the wet pile of books by her feet and then tossed it again.

"I don't know but we better get help….."

Her sentence was cut in half, when she saw Remy streak into the library, wearing nothing but plastic around his waist. Covering her smile with a hand, Kitty looked down.

"Have you seen dem?!"

Bobby grabbed Kitty's hand and started walking out of the partially frozen library. Fully clothed, the Cajun was dangerous to even established relationships - never mind half-naked.

"Seen what? What the heck just happened? Are we under attack or something?"

"De ferrets, dey attacked me."

Already in the hallway, both Bobby and Kitty turned around and did a quick assessment of Remy's mental health. The yellow fish print on the plastic curtain weren't helping.

"Dude, the ferrets attacked you?" Bobby was already chortling at the imagery.

Kitty crinkled her freckled nose, "What do you mean they attacked you, they bit you or……do you smell mango?"

Remy grinned the grin that could melt anyone with ovaries. "That would be Remy, Mon ami."

Giggling bashfully, Kitty found herself wondering if the bear on her shirt made her look too young. Frowning slightly, Bobby squeezed Kitty's hand a little tighter and addressed the Cajun charmer.

"So that water was from your room, then?"

"Oui. Big mess…"

"Ferrets!!"

Kitty was hoping up and down, pointing at the far side of the hallway. Two long bodies were sneaking into the library.

Remy screamed out "Ah-ha!! Remy have dem now."

Dashing away in his plastic sarong, Remy charged into the ruined library that now featured an indoor ice slide. Kitty trailed after him.

"Don't hurt them!! They’re cute!!"

Skidding to a stop on the ice covered floor, Remy suppressed a shiver and started searching for Gaia and Zeus. Kitty phased around calling for the ferrets,

"Hey sweetie pies, come out and play."

Remy called to them too.

"Come to Remy, Mon petits, Remy gonna skin you alive!"

Bobby just walked around wondering at what point he lost control. Oh yeah, the poem. And they say near death experiences bring people together.

Kicking through the melting ice, Bobby noticed a book moving. Looking closer, he saw a small tail peeking out of a huge stack of collected poems. How ironic. Wondering what Kitty would think if he caught the ferrets that apparently almost killed Remy, Bobby quietly walked over and poked at the stack with what was once a chair leg. Moving in a little closer, he gave it another jab. Then suddenly a very feral ferret jump up and bite his nose.

"Ahhh, Help! Help!"

Zeus bit down as hard as he could. Letting go when he felt a flash of cold touch him, he scurried under the overturned bookcases to resume the search for his mate. Kitty phased through the mess and was instantly by Bobby's side.

"Don't move, don't move!"

Taking out tissues she had in her pocket, Kitty pressed them into Bobby's battered nose. Truth was, Bobby was okay, but he figured playing possum could also get the point across. Not very smooth, but it could work. Taking Kitty's hand, he pressed a quick kiss to it, making them both turn matching shades of crimson.

In their tender moment, Bobby and Kitty completely omitted the battle going on behind them. Remy was chasing down Zeus with a fury that would make Logan proud. Remy didn't have his deck of cards to throw, so he picked up a stack of index cards from the overturned card catalogue. Missing every single card thrown at him, the wily Zeus made it to the hallway again and scurried down the stairs unnoticed. His supersensitive sense of smell told him that his ferret partner in crime had poufed somewhere downstairs again.

---

Jubilee and St. John ran to the house and stopped short when they saw the west wall of the kitchen lying in rubble.

Jubilee looked at John incredulously. "We are under attack."

Squaring his jaw in his best fearless leader pose, St John formed a fireball in his hand and cautiously climbed in through the gaping hole. Surveying the scene of destruction, both kids swallowed hard and kept going.

"Do you hear that?"

St. John stopped and listened. It was sounds of fighting. Running towards the sound, they came to the television room door. Exchanging a nod, Jubilee proceeded to knock it down with a blast of fireworks. Charging in, they were surprised to find Bishop, Cable, and Nightcrawler embroiled in a life and death struggle as Tekken Fighters. Lowering the volume on the monstrous set, Nightcrawler quirked his eyebrows at the invaders in misaligned and rumpled clothes. St. John was actually smoldering.

"What is going on here?" Bishop was still playing while Cable wasn't looking.

"We thought there was a fight."

Cable crossed his arms and noticed the hickeys and bleeding bite marks on St. John's neck. He wondered if Jubilee was getting enough protein in her diet.

"You two just missed Scott and Beast, they were looking for a fight too."

Exchanging looks, Jubilee ventured forth.

"The kitchen has been destroyed, there is blue fur everywhere."

Looking up from the sofa where Nightcrawler had taken over Cable's control, Bishop looked up. The M on his face was twitching as he laughed.

"They were carrying on about Storm's ferrets. Is that who attacked you?"

Narrowing his eyes in contempt the flame in St. John's hand flared up.

"Those damned ferrets, Beast and Scott are in danger."

Nightcrawler finished his sentiment, "Then we must find them quick!!"

Taping on the computer on his wrist, Cable barked out commands

"Computer locate two bio-organisms on premises, fur bearing, two pounds each, rabid and dangerous."

In the back Bishop was now alone, so he put in Tomb Raider on his Playstation 2, "Helloooo Lara."

The computer's voice took only a second to respond to Cable.

---Fur bearing bio-organisms will materialize in general vicinity in 5 seconds---

Looking at each other in horror; the X-Men readied themselves. Nightcrawler leaped on the coffee table, Cable cocked his pulse rifle, Jubilee trailed sparkles from her fingertips, and St. John readied a fireball in his other hand. On the sofa, Bishop calmly wondered what Lara Croft's cup size was and muttered,

"Aren't these the same animals Storm keeps in her pockets? I don't see how……AGHHHH!!!"

The room exploded into action as Gaia materialized over Bishop's head. He jumped up, screaming and yelling. But the normally trigger happy Jubilee had an instant change of heart.

"No, don't hurt it!" Shooting off fireworks, Jubilee caught Bishop square in the chest.

"My bad!"

Nightcrawler poufed to Bishop's side first, but the struggling ferret was tangled in Bishop's long curly hair. St John was halfway to them also when something bit him on the calf.

"Jubes, Help!!"

Trying to kick at the attacking Zeus, St. John accidentally let his fireballs fall to the floor. The area rug quickly caught fire as a result and Jubilee went to snuff it out. St. John finally managed to pry Zeus off his leg but the ferret scurried under the sofa. Cable responded by blasting it to smithereens. Then Zeus went behind the monster television set. Cable blasted it also. Next it went under the fuse table and that got blasted too.

On the other side of the room, Gaia disappeared again, taking a considerable amount of hair with her. Zeus took notice and left too. Cable turned to help a now limping St. John up on his feet. Nightcrawler went to help Jubilee put out the fires, but they received an overabundant amount of help from the activated emergency systems. With the alarm finally going off, the sprinkler system responded by dousing the entire Mansion with water.

---

Meanwhile in the basement rec room, Led Zeppelin was blasting to an oblivious pair. Logan looked over at Rogue stretched out on the chaise. She was lost in a book, her lips moving slightly as her eyes scanned the page. Occasionally she would flip her hair over to the other side when it fell into the pages.

Logan frowned. All his strutting and she had barely acknowledged him. When he first came back from up North, she was all over him. It was more than a little disconcerting, but they eventually developed a good friendship. Trouble was Rogue lost a considerable amount of interest in him when the Cajun showed up. That hurt.

Slightly frustrated, Logan started tossing the pool balls in order inside the plastic triangle rather loudly. She still did not look up so he walked over to her, deliberately dragging his heavy boots across the floor and stood practically over Rogue to chalk up his cue. Still she didn't look up. Giving up on subtlety, Logan just squatted down in front of her, until she slowly looked up with big green eyes.

"What?"

"You're ignoring me."

"Ah'm reading something, sugah."

Not accepting the excuse, Logan grunted and picked the book from her hands. Folding the page carefully, he closed it and tossed it to the side. Smiling broadly, Rogue just stared up at him.

"You haven't said a three words to me while we've been here."

"That's not true, Ah asked you ta lower tha lights."

Frowning at her, Logan heaved Rogue up to her feet.

"Well, you're gonna play with me now."

Rogue's eyebrows shot up and Logan corrected, "I mean we're playing some pool."

Smirking, Rogue chalked up her cue and admired Logan bend over and break. He got several so he continued to pocket the balls until Rogue interrupted.

"Ah thought you wanted me ta play."

Looking up, Logan removed the cigar from his mouth and balanced it on the ashtray resting on the pool table's felt border,

"I can't help it if I'm good."

Rolling her eyes, Rogue smiled and went to pick up her book. Getting there first, Logan held it behind his back.

"You don't like the old man anymore."

Gasping at his directness, Rogue crossed her arms and focused on the dogtags hanging on Logan's neck.

"That's not true an ya know it, Logan….you're my best friend."

Rogue looked up at the last two words. Logan took in the new scent floating off of her - it was anxiety. Backing off he whispered a solemn "I know" before taking her hand and leading her to the table again.

"So talk to me."

He handed her the stick and watched her slowly fell the balls one by one. She was actually pretty good.

"Well, Ah just heard Scott got us all new matching uniforms."

"Matching? What for, I like the one I got."

"Ah'm partial ta green myself, but sugah, you have tiger stripes."

Giggling so hard that she missed, Rogue reluctantly sat down and watched Logan pretend he was offended and deftly pocket the ones she could never do.

"Besides Kurt just told meh that he heard Bishop say they looked pretty cool."

"Bishop said they were pretty cool?" Logan raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Since when does Bishop say cool, or even care?"

"Well that's what Ah heard."

"Plus how would he know?"

"That's tha thing, he was watching tha Matrix with Scott when Scott got tha idea."

"The Matrix?"

"Umm hmm, black leather."

It was Logan's turn to miss. All kinds of images arose in Logan's head as he sat down to watch Rogue. I'd be worth giving up his beloved tiger stripes to see Rogue in black leather.

"When do we get them?"

Looking over, Rogue offered a lingering smile and shrugged. Logan was going to say something, but his nose picked up a new aroma.

"Do you smell chocolate ….and mangoes?"

Before Logan could complete the sentence, Gaia materialized over the pool table and landed with a splat on the green felt. She was slimed in mango scented conditioning rinse and trailing some strands of hair. As if that wasn't weird enough, the sprinkler system came down at about the same time, showering the entire room in water.

"What the fuck is that?"

Logan tightened the grip on his cue stick just as Rogue dropped hers and shrieked. Gaia looked around for her partner, but he wasn't there. Scrambling up the pool table, she left a trail of slime on the imported, one of a kind, hand carved, antique pool felt that Logan brawled in exactly 117 cage matches to afford. It was his most valued possession.

Picking up his pool stick Logan let a guttural scream escape him as he charged. Gaia was in his sights when a hand blocked the descending stick, splintering it into virtual toothpicks. Logan looked with a crazed look at Rogue who had her hands on her hips.

"There's no way you're hurtin' that innocent little woodland creature Logan!!"

On the border of a bonafide berserker rage, Logan could barely speak. But he did have time to check out the very interesting pattern in Rogue's wet top. Shaking the thought from his head, Logan focused his gaze on Gaia again.

"My …table….critter…die!!"

Jumping to the other side of the pool table, Logan searched around for the ferret. She had poufed under the table and Rogue screamed as she picked up the table and tossed it to the side with one hand to get to Gaia first.

"Logan nooo!!"

"Table…..critter…...die!!"

Slippery as she was, Gaia squirmed out of Rogue's grip and poufed onto the chaise Rogue had been reading on, before she hit the ground. Logan spun around, dropped his stick and unsheathed his claws. Charging again, he was stopped short when Rogue thwaped him on the head with the stick he dropped. Gathering the slimy Gaia into her arms, Rogue ran out the door and headed up the stairs just as Logan was coming to.

---

"Oh my lord."

Beast and Scott were searching the student rooms for the killer ferrets when they heard the commotion in the library. Running in and finding Kitty and Bobby staring furlongingly at each other in one corner and a half-naked Remy shooting charged index cards on the other side, was something they were not prepared to see.

Speechless at the sight of hundreds of books frozen, scorched, and now wet under the sprinklers, Scott dropped down to his knees, outstretched his arms to the heavens and let out a bloodcurdling scream. It was heard by everyone in the house, who for a second froze in place. Even Zeus and Gaia cocked their little heads before continuing on their ferret business.

But most importantly, Jean heard him too. Dropping the shoes she was comparing and turning to Storm she whimpered and bolted for the department store door with Storm trailing behind. When the 'great ferret fiasco of 2000' story was told and retold, the part with Scott freaking out, is the part told in most solemn awe.

---

Scott's near break from reality spurred everyone into action. Neutralizing the situation with the fire, Cable, Bishop and Nightcrawler ventured out to find out who was in trouble. St. John and Jubilee moved into the living room. Slinking through the Mansion halls in defensive formation, the three X-Men worked their way to the main hall where they bumped into Rogue.

"What are ya'll doing? What's goin' on?"

Bringing Rogue down to the floor, Cable outlined the mission directive above the roar of the wailing sirens.

"We think someone's in trouble upstairs."

Rogue opened her eyes wide,

"Ah heard it too. Ah guessed we missed a lot, Logan and Ah were downstairs."

Checking his computer generated grid of the Mansion floor plans, Cable motioned Bishop and Nightcrawler to flank him, Cable hustled with Rogue up to the foyer.

"Where are tha others?"

Nightcrawler motioned that the coast was clear and they advanced a little more. Bishop was now behind her and they were all huddled behind the stairs,

"Jubilee and St. John are holding up in the living room, Scott, Beast, and myself have had a run in."

Letting anger fill her, Rogue seethed,

"Who are tha infiltrators?"

Exchanging looks with his comrades, Cable eventually spoke out,

"The attackers are not to be underestimated. They are two fe….."

Gaia had poked her head out of Rogue's blouse.

Bishop freaked out first, " Ahh, it's attacking her!!"

Bewildered, Rogue stumbled back and fell on her behind with her hands up.

"No wait, this is Gaia, Storm's fe….."

"That's the enemy!!"

Cable cocked his gun at Rogue's chest, making her scream and scaring the ferret enough to pouf away. Logan who was already good as new from his run in with a cue stick, was tracking down the chocolate and mangoes scent. He had stopped to 'decommission' the sirens, when he heard Rogue scream.

"What are yah doing? It's Gaia!"

Rogue picked herself up off the floor and looked at her fellow X-Men as if they went nuts. Gaia would never attack anyone.

Nightcrawler, Bishop and Cable ignored her and started looking around with wide eyes and loaded guns for the runaway ferret.

"Don't let it fool you, Rogue! They're vicious!"

"Where there's one, there's another!!" added Nightcrawler.

"What the fuck is going on here?"

Logan appeared out of breath and when he saw the guns drawn, he extended his claws as well. He walked over to Rogue, but she had turned her back to him. Bishop was about to brief him on the mission objectives when Remy called out from the top of the stairs.

Everyone stopped to stare at him wearing nothing but a plastic skirt. Rogue smiled and Logan glared. Remy was helping a limping Beast along. Behind him Bobby, who had a bloody nose, and Kitty were helping Scott along. Scott had on a blue polka dotted bandana and looked completely out of it.

Not to be left out of the loop, St. John and Jubilee emerged from their haven. Amid the indoor rain, all twelve X-Members looked at themselves in shock before answering Logan's question all at once.

In the middle of a cacophony of broken explanations and exaggerated battle stories, Rogue noticed a pair of ferrets slinking up the stairs. Motioning to Jubilee who left St. John seated on the floor, Rogue went to get them before anyone noticed. Gaia recognized the woman with the white streaks and was safely tucked into Rogue's shirt again. Remy was the first to notice the added bulge. Don't ask why. His voice rang clear above the rest,

"Dere it is, de ferret!!"

Halfway to Rogue, Remy went to take Gaia when he felt Logan heave him across the foyer,

"Keep your grubby hands off her, Cajun!!"

Suddenly lucid, Scott snapped out of his haze, surprising Bobby and Kitty, and rushed to Rogue. She crossed her arms around the wet bundle.

"That damned ferret!!!"

Frightened, Gaia poufed out and the chase was on again. Everyone sprung into action. Cable, Logan and Scott were trying to catch Gaia, while Rogue begged them not to hurt her. Scott was yelling about ruined books while Logan kept trying to make Rogue look at him. Cable kept referring to his computer to predict Gaia's next pouf and Xavier's statues didn't stand a chance.

Remy had the unfortunate luck of haven been sent sprawling on Jubilee when Logan pushed him. Jubilee had calmed down Zeus by talking softly to him, apparently he didn't attack females, when the aggressive ferret turned and bit Remy on the arm. Screaming out obscenities in French, Remy chased after it followed, by Bishop who was begging his father not to get hurt any further, Nightcrawler, who was poufing around more than Gaia, and Jubilee trying to plead on behalf of the ferret in between peeks at Remy's slipping shower curtain.

Beast was no longer interested in the squirmish. He hobbled his way to where St. John lay and sat down to watch the show with him. After three minutes of watching eight X-Men try and catch two highly agile ferrets, one which kept appearing and disappearing, the other with the mentality of a horny, pissed-off Wolverine, they placed bets on who they felt would win. On the stairs, Bobby was still lying with his head in Kitty's lap. She was dabbing at his nose with a tissue and he was pretending that it hurt. The pair was totally oblivious to the chaos around them.

The fray came to a sudden end when the front door swung open and Storm and Jean walked in, in full battle mode. Both X-women looked equal parts panicked, angry and amused. And one minute later, completely soaked.

"What the… Rogue put Scott down!!

Storm was mesmerized by yellow plastic fish.

"Dear Goddess, what is going on here and why are you wearing plastic Remy?"

Stopping all movement to look up at Jean and Storm the X-Men seized all ferret trapping activity and just looked at each other. Where to begin? Eventually the rain was the only sound to be heard when out of the blue, Gaia caught everyone's attention again. She materialized out of thin air and scurried over to an overturned bust of Shakespeare. Zeus showed up five seconds later, and before Storm had a chance to ask what her ferrets were doing out of their cage, Gaia poufed herself and Zeus into her arms. Settling in, they looked up at their keeper expectantly.

"How on earth did they do that?"

Jean just raised her eyebrows. There was a familiar tickle in her brain that seemed more pressing at the moment. Turning around she saw the Professor's car approaching the Mansion up the driveway. He was a day early back from his diplomatic trip to Switzerland. For the first time anyone could remember, she muttered a curse out loud.

"Oh shit."

The sentiment pretty much summed up everyone's feelings at the moment. Xavier spent all of three minutes in the still raining Mansion that day. Wheeling in, he went straight to Gaia and Zeus. Touching them briefly, he returned their minds to their normal state. Offering their bellies to be scratched, the ferrets got a quick pet before falling asleep in Storm's hands. It had been a long day for them.

Next he addressed his X-Men. All he said was two words "Ten days." Turning around and leaving again he headed straight to god knows where on an impromptu vacation and left the heroes to deal with the disaster area they called home.

Looking around at the chagrined and embarrassed faces, Scott took charge of his team and began to bark out orders. They had only ten days to put the place back together better than it had been before.

---

EPILOGUE

The X-Men settled around the cooler propped up on five gallon drums of paint and quietly glared at the general direction of the assembled X-Men's better half in the patio. Popping a beer with a claw, Logan mused,

"You figure we'd be the ones getting fawned over."

His comment was met by a chorus of yeahs and grunts of agreement.

Bobby added frost to his beer, "I just finished shampooing twenty seven carpeted rooms and they're petting the culprits."

"That's nothing, at least you got your petit, no? Remy in de doghouse for a long time for trying to kill de goddesses' ferrets." Remy chuckled at his situation.

Logan smirked again, "I've been labeled a caveman ferret basher."

Nightcrawler laughed and Logan pointed his middle claw at him as he took another beer.

"They'll get over it, at least we're almost done, the Professor is coming back tomorrow night and this place is better equipped than ever. It was a good team building exercise for us to rally and work together…...what?"

Five work gloves, a brush and a half-eaten candy bar sailed by Scott's head and even he had to laugh.

---

The X-women looked over at the assembled men and shared a collective smirk.

"I'm so never gonna forgive St. John for reducing my yellow jacket to ashes."

Kitty and Rogue exchanged smiles, "Is that why you were in the hall closet with him yesterday?"

Jubilee huffed indignantly, "Like you're one to talk Ki-tty."

The five women descended into peals of laughter over the curtain swatches they were going through. One positive thing about wrecking the Mansion was the opportunity to redecorate. Behind them, the men looked over warily, there own laughter cut short after hearing theirs.

Storm absentmindedly pet Gaia and Zeus who were curled into a basket on the table,

"Xavier is coming back tomorrow, we should make peace with the ferret haters and call it a day."

Jean was quick to agree, "Yes, everything is mostly done, we should call a truce already."

Rogue elbowed her friend, "You just want ta celebrate your anniversary is ahll."

Jean agreed, "That too."

Storm sighed heavily, "Remy did look awfully nice in that plastic." Everyone stared at Storm. "What? He did."

Giggling even more, the X-women all agreed. After a quick unanimous vote, they stood and walked over to where the men were trying to act like they didn't see them approach.

Clearing her throat Jean addressed the men all clad in white overalls.

"We were going to take a break and head for the pool. Would you fellas like to come?"

Having pledged to each other not to give the women any more leverage only minutes before, the men lost all their resolve and looked at Scott for guidance. At least he took a dignified minute to respond,

"Sure, why not."

Beaming, he placed an arm around Jean and gave her a kiss, "Happy Anniversary."

Behind them Bobby and St. John looked at the girls,

"House rules!! Last one in has to wear a thong!"

They got a head start, but then Kitty and Jubilee phased into the pool fully clothed before the boys had a chance.

Bishop and Beast grabbed the cooler and ran, "We got the brews." Who knew that coolers could float.

Cable yelled into his wrist, "Computer, locate the water guns!" Getting his response, he and Nightcrawler poufed away only to materialize ten feet over the water with an insane assortment of brightly hued Supersoakers. Big splash.

Remy sauntered over to Storm and pointed at the ferrets sleeping on the table,

"De little rats can swim, no?"

"You wouldn't dare!!"

Seeing that yes - he would dare, the weather goddess ran after Remy. He was almost to the table when a sudden wind picked him up and sent him spiraling into the pool. Storm herself did a graceful swan dive from the sky. Everyone muttered 'show off'.

Jean and Scott ran in next. Scott reached the edge first but then Jean froze him in mid-air and jumped in.

That left Rogue and Logan. Walking slowly behind the others, she turned to Logan and nudged him in. She always stood behind, but Logan was reluctant to leave her alone.

"Everyone's wearing clothes, It'll be fine."

"Don't worry, Ah'll be right here. Go on."

Eyeing the interesting snowball vs. watergun fight going on in the pool and then the girl holding his hand, Logan decided what the hell. He threw Rogue over his shoulder flung her in. Shocked, Rogue emerged with a blush as everybody clapped. Then realization sunk in. Everyone turned to look at Logan in stone silence.

"What?"

Now it was Rogue's turn to burst out laughing,

"You're tha last one in sugah!"

Growling at the chanting of "Thong! Thong! Thong!", Logan stepped back and ran in with a cannonball that nearly emptied the whole darn pool. After a round of applause and a brief run down of Olympic scores, six 9s, eight 10s, and one 6 (Scott), Logan made his way to Rogue who was fighting on the snowball side.

On the table, Gaia and Zeus woke up. Slinking out of their basket, they made their way through the grass and to the pool. Jumping in among many ohhhs, ahhhs, and several resentful looks, they swam to the floating cooler and bobbed and sailed on it as the ruckus continued around them.

---

Unnoticed, Xavier watched from the new French door opening in the kitchen. He always came in a day early and they always forgot. Seeing the happiness that exuded from his X-Men, he smiled and wheeled away. Now he had to call his accountant.