“God damnit!”

“Logan, calm down.”

“We haven’t fucking moved five inches in fifteen minutes. It’s the one on the fucking right!”

“Don’t yell out the window like that! Someone’ll get mad at us!”

“Oh, and wouldn’t THAT be such a god damn shame. Maybe they should go SUCK THEIR OWN BALLS!”

“Logan!”

“What?! I’ve just spent two hours in a fucking mall have my nose clogged with all kinds of scented shit and squealing brats and now I’m sitting behind some queer fuck in a bug.”

“Having a VW doesn’t mean he’s gay.”

“Yeah, sure kid. Hardass fuckers like me buy them all the damn time. Shit, I must have four of them in my other purse.”

“Very funny. Did I mention I appreciated this?”

“You fucking better.”

“I do. I even bought you something at the last store.”

“Darlin’, I can’t imagine there was anything I’d want at the Gap.”

“No, sugah. I’m talking about the one I went to after you growled at me that my ass better be in the car in ten minutes. Then you left me.”

“That’s not what I said. I said I had to get out of there and that cute little ass of yours better not be far behind.”

“Do you want to know what I bought or argue with me?”

“What I want is to sit my ass in front of the T.V. with a beer and not be in the shit fume infested hell-hole behind some Elizabeth-boy.”

“Fine. I won’t tell you what I got at The Naughty Lady.”

.....

“Now, darlin’, I didn’t mean to snap at you. You know I ain’t mad at you, don’t you?”

“Uh huh. Tell you what, if you’re a real good boy until we get home I’ll give you a treat.”

“I’m not a damn dog, Marie.”

“No? You haven’t look in the bag yet.”

....

“Holy shit.”

“You alright there, sugah? You’re not having a heart attack are you?”

“Not yet.” *groans* “This is suppose to calm me down? Shit, Marie, now I’m annoyed and hard!”

“Heehee. I’m sorry. It was suppose to be a surprise for later.”

“I know how you can make it up to me. You could *alleviate* one of my two…. problems.”

“I can’t just make the traffic disappear.”

*grins* “Nope. You sure can’t.”

“Logan!”

“Oh, please, darlin’. I’m not sure someone who bought THAT stuff at The Naughty Lady can act appalled.”

“I’m not getting you off here. People will see!”

“So? Poor bastards need some entertainment.”

“No. I mean look at that lady. She could be my grandma!”

“Like it ain’t nothing she’s never seen before. Hell, she’s probably done stuff in a car you could only imagine.”

“Well, if you were trying to squash any desire I had you succeeded. I will NEVER get that image out of my head.”

“What are you trying to say, kid? I’m probably twice her age.”

“You are SO not helping your cause.”

“Hmmm..How about this?”

“..I..uh. Oh, God!..Uh..it helps a..a..oh God…bit..”

“I thought it might..”

“Lo..lo..gAN!”

“I love when you say my name like that, darlin’.”

“Yeah… Look! It’s moving! Get us home, sugah. Now.”

“Yes ma’am! What’s the problem, bub? Your heel caught on the pedal or something?! Move that fag-mobile out of the way!”

“Logan!”


END