Wow. This got much darker, didn't it? I see what you mean about exploring Logan/Wolverine more fully. I think it's clear that he's trying very hard to keep Wolverine at bay and below the surface. But Xavier needs Wolverine, and Logan sometimes needs to let him out. It's interesting to see how much Wolverine is like the ID - completely and utterly selfish, about power and assertion and control. In some ways, I think Wolverine has more control over himself than Logan does - he just chooses to exert that control in different, purely selfish ways.

I'm not sure what Logan's defining characteristic is, except that he seems to be constantly under the pressure of fighting, of holding everything in. He seems incredibly unstable to me in this fic. It's clear he loves Marie, but he's wearily resigned to what Wolverine does and makes him do - EXCEPT for this rape. But at the same time, he knows his weakness, too. And his love. I think, for right now, his world is dominated by fear - of himself. I hope he can get through it. I hope Marie can.

Xavier seems to have pushed Logan to this. I'm thinking that Wolverine might have been easier to handle before Xavier needed him so much. And I can't really forgive Xavier for the way he handled their departure in Chapter 3. Wolverine could really have injure someone. He nearly did. He later does. He's using him and Marie, without regard to the consequences. He's not evil so much as someone who benefits from evil.

I was glad to see that Marie had Logan's # in chapter 4. She's got sass and charm and brains, and I love it! My favorite was the moment when she takes over the steering wheel and notes with satisfaction that that was *exactly* right. And she seems able to read him and stand up to him - good. But she's constantly on egg shells around Logan. Even before the rape, everything was about him. She was always accommodating him. I even know why. But that's got to be breaking her, too. It's not just about him. It's about THEM. The two of them. Her, too. I hope she gets the support she needs. I hope being strong isn't being just strong enough to survive him.

My God, you deliver on the angst-y darkness! *lol* Excellent characterization. Am waiting, nervously, anxiously for what happens next.

Author's Response: Thanks Gamma, The whole of chapter 5 was about the 'animal' within him, that he is intelligent, knows what he's doing but he shields his weaker half (Logan) from seeing it. It's like a split personality, he *had* to conform to the 'rules' around the mansion and Wolverine *knew* that. But now he's away from there permanently he can breathe again. I've known several bi-polar people and I've really been giving Logan some thought on those lines. I mean in his history he's been shot, murdered, tortured, abused, spat on, betrayed, had the people he loved killed in front of him. He's *not* stable, I mean sure his mind shields him from some of it but Wolverine remembers EVERYTHING. So when Wolverine gets involved he really is a killer, he cares only about himself and what pleases him. But now Marie has cast her lot in with him, she's strong, she's had to be. I mean she got a dose of Eric, all his memories, all the abuse he suffered, his life wasn't easy. She knows what suffering means, she has first hand evidence in her head. Yet as Logan said, 'Remembering it an seein it for real are different worlds.' (I think it was that) She's got some words to say, some rules to put down herself, it's a partnership and for Logan it's a risk. He could end up killing her, or getting her killed but Wolverine *knows* her too, he knows she's strong enough to take it. It's just how to get to that strength, he's had to suffer to get it, how she'll get it is another question entirely. I'm really glad your enjoying it, things about Logans character remind me of John Rambo in First Blood. All he wants is to be left alone, to get a drink an pass through. He's damaged yes but he knows he is and he avoids people because of it. Logan ignores everyone but Marie because she's deadlier than he is she just doesn't know it yet. Wolverine will hone her and she won't be used by anyone, not even by him. It's just the journey of how she gets there and if she survives it. Thanks for following me along this dark road, now you know why its called 'I never wanted this for you...' Thing is it could be the best thing to ever happen to her now she's seen the other side of Xavier, it is a war just a covert one, seen through the eye of the soldier.