The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
You're not a native speaker of English, are you? You must not be, because there were so many jumbled sentences where I did not understand what you meant to say. Half the time, I didn't know who was doing what ... pronouns and objects and such are frequently vague or even contradictory in your writing. So, I'll have to give this a low rating until you get a better beta!
I have to repeat what another reviewer has said. Interesting concepts but you really do need to re-read or beta read your work. There are some obvious mistakes that sometimes makes your writing hard to follow.
Please keep on going though because the story is interesting, it just needs a little tweaking.
I like your plot, and you introduced a couple of interesting story lines to follow in your first chapter, so that's good (ie R might get kidnapped, Jean's a tramp, Jubes failing class). I do suggest that you start spell checking your work. There were quite a few incorrect words, and always try to have someone else read it. Good luck, hope to see more soon.