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Reviewer: doctorg Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/30/2011 10:41:48 PM Title: Chapter 20

Okay, here is how ridiculously invested I am in this story. Earlier this evening, I was thinking, "Damn, it's been awhile since I saw an update, I wonder when one will come?" Then later I checked and saw an update, and simultaneously thought "Yay!" and "Shit! -- if this is the last chapter I won't be able to enjoy it, knowing it's ending." Then I saw that you had not checked "Story Complete" and briefly rejoiced, and then I read the author's notes and had to decide how brief your brief epilogue was likely to be and if that could stop me from cursing at the scroll bar as it reached the end of this chapter. So, that's the little rollercoaster I went on. :-)

As for the chapter itself, I loved it and will need to read it a few times more. As much as I want shiny-happy-rainbow-smut for these two, I'm glad you went in the more believable direction. But, we still better get some good smut. Like, seriously.

So far this is my favorite line:
Rooms seemed disturbing and off, like a supermarket after hours, like a doze that any moment will end with a sudden fall and the sleeper jolting into unhappy consciousness

Author's Response: Ha! That is stupendously gratifying (have I ever mentioned how insanely jealous I am of your talent for swift updates? I hate you in a very adoring way). Am currently teetering back and forth on the issue of an epilogue, cannot entirely promise one now. Thank you, for this, for giving me such a tremendous start to my day--so much that I almost forgot it was a Monday--and for general amazingness. >hugs<

Reviewer: sahara Signed star star star star star [Report This]
Date: 01/30/2011 9:59:45 PM Title: Chapter 20

And she lived & they worked everything out & ditched the mansion & lived happily ever after & kittens & rainbows & daffodils!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right?

Right.

I think any words I have to say about how I feel about this ending wouldn't be enough. This last chapter is too complex & therefore, so are my feelings about it. (None bad, I assure you. Just the problem of having a limited vocabulary). I do think that if you had tried to pack in a "safe" & "guaranteed, all-resolved-happy" ending it wouldn't be true to your story as a whole. So for any potential haters out there who want canned Rogan bliss - they can go consult their imaginations. (Sounds a lot better than "piss off", right?)

I had to start a Word Doc to keep a running list of things I loved:

"His crutches were propped against the nearest wall. When asked, Logan would say simply and indifferently that he'd been teaching the boy to fight like a man." Hilarious.

"Her serene voice was a balm to an ache you hadn't been aware of." Great & new description of a voice that has been written about a lot (myself included, mine pales in comparison to this).

"One sheet was twined around her leg” This scene was so subtle, seemless. Could easily understand what happened & it was an appropriate snippet. Perfection. Truly perfection

"…and for distancing himself from any personal association.” I don't have a verbal explanation for why I liked this, but I did.

WTFx is up with Jubilee? You warped her & twisted her in ways the comic book writers (who do some pretty crazy shit) couldn’t even dream of! Like the paradox of how she’s mocking Marie for “getting Logan to stay that long”, then crying because the poor Firecracker can’t snag anyone who’d stick around long enough for her.

“At mealtimes she sat at their preferred table, alone with the heat of an almost-forgotten spotlight” I can see what's happening in this one single sentence and feel what she's feeling.

“She read these, and tried to understand.” Another bittersweet snippet. Poor Marie.

“"If it will make him stay."” Awww & oh no filled my mind with this.

“It flustered her, made her voice skip like a pebble on concrete” Loved this & jealous because of it. You could have – anyone else would have – just left it at “her voice skipped” or some such variation, but every similie you include is so visual and spot on.

“offered her a low copper grin” Where do you come up with such evocative descriptions?!?!!? WHERE?!?!?!

“Logan felt like the shell of a grenade who's pin had been torn from it's casing and tossed carelessly away. Hard to the touch, but half of a heartbeat away from exploding, transforming it's exterior into nothing but heat and dust and shards of shards.” Again you could’ve gone w/ something simple like “Logan felt like a grenade ready to explode” but you didn’t & we all benefitted for it. Another example of how we are all streets behind you.

“The openness of Outside Beautiful and nauseating in it's endlessness” You ever read something & go "YES! YES! I KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE!!!!" That was this for me. I get that! The night sky & dark water - it's the endlessness, as you eloquently pointed out - that truly, honestly, and genuinely is nauseating



I'm sad to see this end. But endings mean new beginnings, right? Not to rush you! But you did spend 6 months on this and now your Rogan muse is free to frolic through the daisies, slicing their little petals off with adamantium claws.

Author's Response: So I take it you would be against the smutty epilogue, right? Hmmmm....quite the pickle. I'm torn. But I do wholly and inexpressibly appreciate the "canned Rogan bliss" remark, very grateful to have your support--as with everything else you've written hear. Mother of All Reviews?--Very hard to disagree. You are fantastic beyond belief and I am immensely grateful.

Reviewer: White Dove Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/30/2011 9:16:11 PM Title: Chapter 20

wow, this story was so much more than I ever expected. It was full of such emotion. LOVED IT!

Author's Response: This means so much to me. I am indescribably glad you feel that way. Thanks.

Reviewer: Moviemom44 Signed star star star star star [Report This]
Date: 01/19/2011 1:50:26 PM Title: Chapter 19

"his dry lips smiling bemusedly but not sharing their harmlessness with his eyes."

OK, I gotta ask. How many versions of that did you write before you hit on this gorgeous bit of prose? Because, I swear by all that's holy, if you got that on the first try, I really am never gonna speak to you again. I will continue to read every single word you write, because I'm not an idiot and would never deny myself such a staple of life as your stories...Oh, hell, who am I kidding? I would not only speak to you, I would beg you on bended knee to teach me how to do what you do...to think like you think. And, it turns out, the above quote is just one of many examples of your amazingness in this chapter.

The disjointed conversation between Jubes, Kitty and ? made almost no sense at first, just the way it would have sounded to Rogue as she was half-listening and not really included in the conversation anyway...Amazingness, again.

And then Jubes little dig about Logan having nothing holding him at the mansion...oh, she's rotten in this one, ain't she? I'll be interested to see if you tell us why she's so hostile...or if I'll care if she doesn't quit making me wish someone would bitch slap her...

And the painstaking detail in the description of Logan's agony and Marie's mysterious (to her) lack of discomfort as they share his bed...I had goosebumps AND a lump in my throat.

The bubble that burst in her chest...that was that exhale, that expulsion of the last of her nervousness, wasn't it? More amazingness as you find and illustrate the parallel so beautifully.

And finally, you didn't spare the poor bastard the morning wood, did you? Talk about a man in need of rest, but can't find any...Sorry, Logan, your misery made me smile. Blame Rose...Miss Amazingness wrote it funny.

But I wasn't chuckling on those last two lines. Nope, you can't laugh when your mouth is hanging open in awe...I just proved it.

SO sorry it took so long for me to read and review this chapter. I just haven't had uninterrupted time to concentrate on it until now. I wish you a much smoother 'labor and delivery' for the next chapter, but I have to say that, just like the real deal--the results not only make up for the pain, they make you forget it so thoroughly that you're willing to do it again! --Wendie

Author's Response: Do you have any idea how tremendous (Cool! I never get to use that word!) this review of yours is, how jaw-dropping, eyes-welling *perfect* timing you had? A happy little spinal block just when I'd begun to rethink the titles I'd picked out of The Big Book Of Baby Names and started calling that fleshy ball of contracting hate and in my tummy names they'd bleep out on T.V. Chipping away at a scene that Does. Not. Want. to be written--stubborn piece of---anyway, thank you. I'm grinning like a mildly retarded hyena.....Actually can't recall how many tries that line took, does that spare me your wrath? I remember not being too happy with that section in general, so I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you, in every language it can be spoken in, including pig Latin.

Reviewer: Tamana Signed star star star star star [Report This]
Date: 01/07/2011 1:54:58 PM Title: Chapter 1

I love this fic! I love how you've portrayed Logan; always swearing and annoyed, yet kind. I also love how you have developed the relationship between Marie and Logan.
In chapter 18 (I think? It was Marie's birthday) I think what Logan did for Marie was a little out of character.. I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I thought it was a bit too soft for Logan. Anyway, overall, a great fic.

-Tamana

Author's Response: Soft, huh? I'm sorry to hear that, but am glad to hear that you've enjoyed everything else. :~D

Reviewer: Shuni Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/06/2011 3:17:55 PM Title: Chapter 1

Thank you, now I know one more of these short cuts :D

Well, I'm not at all confused about different settings because first of course I know that there's more than the movies (as I reconsidered my comment later yesterday evening i thought that it might would seem kind of ignorant. So, just to declare it at this point: I'm not. If it seems to be like it, blame the foreign language (muahah, perfect excuse :D)) and second I may be new to x-men ff but I read a loooot of hp ff's so I dare say there's really little I wouldn't expect to read here - some of which i like more and some of which i like less. But at least I know that I like yours :D

Author's Response: I'm glad you do. :~D :~D :~D

Reviewer: Cherryblossom104 Signed star star star star star [Report This]
Date: 01/05/2011 9:56:00 PM Title: Chapter 19

Oh god. Please please please let there be a shower scene with Logan having fantasies!! PLEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSEEEEEEEE. Im near tears. :(

Author's Response: Hahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!! Something along those lines. ;~)

Reviewer: Shuni Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/05/2011 2:16:30 PM Title: Chapter 19

Hola!!
I'm looking forward to reading this story in one piece. It's sad that after each chapter you have to stop so you don't get the chance to get the atmosphere and all.
I read very much until the last two parts in one piece and really, it was awesome, although the way they met and all is completely different than in the movies, which basically is all I know about the X-Men universe, altough recently I started watching X-Men Evolution on YOutube xD
Well. I'm going to read the whole story in one turn once you've posted all of it. And then I'm so going to get lost in your story that I won't be able to talk to anybody more than three or four sentences when I've finished, what always happens when I read a good story.

So, to sum it up and to stop babbling around, I like your story even though it's different from the movie and I hope you will post the remaining parts very soon so that I will get the luck and the joy to read it in one go.
I hope what I said made sense :D

Have a nice evening,
Shuni

Author's Response: There are many different types of stories (if you click on the 'Help' button, there's a really great list of them). This is an AU--Alternate Universe, which means it is different in many ways from the movie, if that makes things any less confusing. :~) I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far, and I hope you continue to for the remaining chapters. Thank you!!!!!

Reviewer: doctorg Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 10:51:11 PM Title: Chapter 1

What, you didn't like the Magneto / Wolverine scene? It was genius! In one seemingly casual line Magneto manages to 1.) objectify Logan 2.) demean him and 3.) remind him of his powerlessness against Magneto's mutation. Genius.

Author's Response: Haha. Thank you! I really appreciate that.

Reviewer: Tasa Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 4:37:55 PM Title: Chapter 19

tehehe... you said bowel instead of bowl. :)
Childishness aside, I'm glad to see another chapter up, and to hear that this still has a bit more to go. Poor, poor Logan. *hug* I'm sorry this is becoming painful for you. Hang in there, please? We love you!

Author's Response: Fixed it! Dang homophones! Thank you so much. >hugs<

Reviewer: annie77 Signed star star star star star [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 2:38:17 PM Title: Chapter 19

Ive got a hard case of warm fuzzy feelings after reading this. I LOVED the whole bed scene first from Logans pov and then Maries, just perfect.
I also loved Jubes and Kitty conversation it gave us a quick shot of how Marie's life is feeling an outsider with the other girls in her own room. I also liked the way you showed Logans vulnerability and his struggle with his needs it felt so real. I swear I could feel myself tense reading that.
Then theres Lensherr that I dont know what he has to do with all this but I guess you will let us all know in the next chapter.
This was one of my fave chapters bc I was so looking forward this kind of moments when Logan and Marie get connected in a deeper way. Thank you for writting this, I can't wait for the next chapter!!!

Author's Response: Thank you, I was thinking of you when I wrote it (in a hoping-you'll-like it kind of way, not the awkward way it came out in). I love your fuzzies!!! Thankyouthankyouthankyou. You have been elected chief of the Awesome tribe, long may you reign.

Reviewer: litlen Signed star star star star star [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 12:51:46 PM Title: Chapter 19

Thanks for the shout! I’m quite proud of myself actually – I’ve stuck with this chapter reading lark and thoroughly enjoyed it! Although you get half the credit for that with your promises of regular updates which I hasten to add you have kept.

Gonna give a shout of my own to your chapter notes.....not only do we have great chapters, but entertaining notes to go with them! Todays was a prime example :)

Great start and a nice touch to this story in particular that Logan seemed to be falling into the trap of feeling secure, followed by Marie noticing everything that’s wrong. I liked this, not a role reversal as such but just the inkling of one, that maybe she’s stronger/smarter than given credit for and that he is not quite the perfect hero/protector.

Loved the ‘girls’ convo – wonderful written dialogue – Jubes lost all the sympathy votes she may have gained in her prev chapter here and just went into full bitch mode!

“Let the smells and sensations and familiar darkness tell her where she was and where she wasn't.” – the adding of where she wasn’t at the end turned this sentence into a hard hitting one, simple but very effective. Also loved the next line “the universal instinct that not being able to see was the same as being hidden.” I think that’s something that everybody can relate to let alone how fitting it is for Marie in this fic.

Love what I’m calling the ‘didn’t have to’ para where as a reader you know he’s coming to the rescue but you held it out just long enough!

Just one more line for you – “She was just laying there, as if nothing was wrong. As if, after all this time and fear, she didn't know what danger she was in with Logan. As if she trusted him. As if she shouldn't be running.” The internal struggle/battle from here on in was great to read. (loved the just gotta have a shower at the end there but guessing that’s another fic!)

Only 2 more to go....I’m looking forward to the ending yet I’m disappointed it’s all going to be over!

Author's Response: I'm proud of you too--and immensely grateful. I'm glad you like the dialogue, I had the most trouble with that. Thank you--absolutely everything about this review made me smile. >hugs<

Reviewer: Freespirit Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 5:02:48 AM Title: Chapter 19

Outstandingly written chapter. Your descriptions of the shifting between the two protagonists well timed and natural. It is a pleasure, always, to read a chapter written by you...You can be a proud fic-mom!

Author's Response: >smiles proudly between diaper changes and spit-ups.< Thank you! I'm so, so, soooo happy to hear you say so. It's a pleasure anytime to receive feedback from you.

Reviewer: White Dove Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 1:48:07 AM Title: Chapter 19

Aww Poor logan! I love his inner struggle. I hope Marie finds it in herself to love him like he does her. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you!!!!!! I'll try to have it finished as fast as possible. >hugs<

Reviewer: doctorg Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 1:26:52 AM Title: Chapter 19

A new chapter, and I'll have to read it probably a few more times to really decide what's best, because my God, I *felt* poor Logan burning. But off the cuff, it'll be hard to top:
"Wolverine," he said, drawing out the word with a false camaraderie. "Always a pleasure to see such a finely constructed piece of metal as yourself."
and this:
Foot of platonic space between them like a sitcom from the 1950's.

Author's Response: Really? I wasn't so fond of that scene. Glad to hear you enjoyed it. (Much YAY-ing and bouncing SQUEEs). Thank you.

Reviewer: doctorg Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 1:23:24 AM Title: Chapter 18

This one:
Her eyes blurred and stung, a reflex to any surprise.

Reviewer: doctorg Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 1:20:39 AM Title: Chapter 17

This:
He was closer to anger than worry by the time Jean offered her martyred expression and a lotioned hand, palm-up, to the girl.
For some reason that one adjective "a lotioned hand," makes me want to smack Jean. Love it.

Author's Response: I know, right? Lotion always pisses me off...

Reviewer: doctorg Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 1:17:40 AM Title: Chapter 16

This:
His arms reached out and in some delicate maneuver of body parts among boxes and bottles that the returned darkness prevented her from seeing, the girl's tearful face was pressed against Logan's stomach.
And I love the crazy little detail that he doesn't have his belt on, like he threw clothes on in a hurry to get to her. Whether that's what you intended or not.

Author's Response: You're right about what I intended, with that gift of insight and kindness you possess.

Reviewer: doctorg Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 1:15:41 AM Title: Chapter 15

This one:
"You're going to eat." His voice was inflexible, but not harsh. A kind stone.

Reviewer: doctorg Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 1:13:32 AM Title: Chapter 14

This one is hard too, but I'm determined to narrow it down to one, so I think this wins:
She seemed to be waiting for him to thank her for something, but with each glance at his face that expectation faded away, and a thousand books worth of questions took it's place.

Author's Response: I love you in an entirely non-creepy way.

Reviewer: doctorg Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 1:10:57 AM Title: Chapter 13

Both this:
Her eyes carressed Logan's brow, his jaw, the overstrung wires in his throat. Mentally comforting where her hands were too afraid--and poisonous--to go, as if the force of her attention would would quiet him, cancel her need to actually respond.
and this:
Scanning her, gathering explanations faster than any spoken words could travel. Pressing more courteously on her companion's mind, requesting entrance. Scooping up information from the two of them like a child collecting Easter eggs.

Author's Response: That you would take the time to do this is incredible. There aren't enough good adjectives in the world to fit you.

Reviewer: doctorg Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 1:08:21 AM Title: Chapter 12

This just broke my heart:
"You want to shower first, Kid?" A little boy eager to show off his card collection.
The girl looked at him, and Logan guessed she heard his words differently.

Author's Response: Glad you liked it.

Reviewer: doctorg Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 1:06:42 AM Title: Chapter 11

Oh my goodness, I changed my mind three times on this one, but had to settle on this ultimately, because it is just so genius:
You can always count on murderers and motorcyclists to keep a pair of gloves handy.

Reviewer: doctorg Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 1:04:48 AM Title: Chapter 10

I had to skip over the depiction of the rape at this hour, because it is so deeply affecting I would never sleep. So take those paragraphs out of the running, and this is what I choose:
With an almost pensive expression on his face, he released his claws.

Author's Response: Can't blame you! >hugs<

Reviewer: doctorg Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/04/2011 1:02:45 AM Title: Chapter 9

Yikes, I have three for this one. I'm going to have 10 per chapter by the end if I don't rein myself in!
This:
He would always remember the way she turned her head. Pressed her face into his side. The bump of her little nose. Eyelids scrunched tightly closed. Hiding when protests hadn't helped her. Logan pretended she was nuzzling him.
and this:
He thought she was recovering. Not in the normal sense of the word, but as those in this city recovered. Drawing into themselves, maintaining their bodies and letting everything else fall away, in preparation of the next assault. Like the farmers who set fire to their crops to defy a looting army.
and this:
It was a test. An apology. A thank you. A whatever-you-wanted-to-call-it, from the incomprehensible mind of sad teenage girls.
All of them, exactly perfect.

P.S. - sorry for the delay, my husband snagged the laptop, but thanks to insomnia I'm up at 1 a.m. with plenty of time to finish. My subconscious must have known another chapter was on its way...

Author's Response: You'd never see me complain if you were to do ten. But even one is happy-dance inducing, so thank you!!!

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