Reviews For The Girl
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Reviewer: tamisnead Signed star star star star [Report This]
Date: 10/28/2010 9:43:00 AM Title: Chapter 13

This seemed to me to be a wonderful transitional chapter, from slum to mansion, it didn't seem rushed or drawn out, just wonderful pacing.

Author's Response: There are quite a few transitional chapters in this story, aren't there? Lol. But I promise they're necessary, and Im glad you like it. Thanks.

Reviewer: mina113er Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/28/2010 2:30:57 AM Title: Chapter 1

." What did she see? What did she see? Whatdidsheseewhatdidsheseewhatdidsheseeohgodwhatdidshesee?" Don't know why but I just love this.
Please, never stop writing.

Author's Response: Awesome! I was hoping that line would be effective. Thank you. <3

Reviewer: jnet Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/27/2010 11:05:55 PM Title: Chapter 13

Its a good day to see an update! :) Looking forward to the next!

Author's Response: Its a good day to see a review from you! >hugs< Thanks, as always. ;~)

Reviewer: sahara Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/27/2010 2:20:12 PM Title: Chapter 13

Oh you sneaky bastard (I mean that in the best way possible). That last part came so far out of left field. You just got yourself a golf clap.

'She stared at the floor, unable to differentiate between an introduction and an auction." I don't know what to say to this, but this is how it made me feel :'(

"He was growling, then moaning, lips pinched in an agonized smile. At first, the girl thought--no. His body was wound with nothing but distress." I like how you subtly keep going back to what happened to her & the way she lived - in opposition to what she's experiencing now that she's away from the tenement. It really shows that she has no mental framework for what she's being exposed to, she's just responding based on her past. I shouldn't have read this in between school assignments because I almost threw out words like "schema" and "assimilation". Vomit.

Anyway.

"There's nothing wrong with you, Kid."
Awww. Since I can't use my words properly without getting lofty I'm just gonna say that sentence made me feel like this :D

I still can't believe I overlooked this update. I'm putting myself in the corner for a while.

Author's Response: This review made me feel like :~DDDD And no, I'm not saying it gave me a quadruple chin. (Btw-what's a golf clap?) Thank you uber katuble much. >hugs< Know what? When we get that cupcake--you can have the first bite. ;~)

Reviewer: Wolverette Signed star star star star star [Report This]
Date: 10/27/2010 11:02:32 AM Title: Chapter 13

Well, I never expected to see Erik in the last scene! Kudos to you for taking me by surprise!
You say you like lines to be quoted back to you? Well, my favourite in this chapter is something so simple that it probably hasn't occurred to anyone else, but which I absolutely loved - "The glass was so shimmery with moisture that it appeared as water that had merely decided to stand up." So descriptive!! How the heck do you do it?!!
Loved this latest chapter as always - intrigued by Erik's involvement in the school and looking forward to finding out how Marie fits in! Keep going!!

Author's Response: Am so, so happy you feel that way. >does Happy Dance-cross between Irish jig and Oompa Loompa theme< >hugs< You're wonderful.

Reviewer: Moviemom44 Signed star star star star star [Report This]
Date: 10/27/2010 10:43:26 AM Title: Chapter 13

Oh, Rose, where to start? The whole first section was an experience unto itself. By using her perceptions of her unfamiliar surroundings, you told us more about her past and her world than if you had let us read her diary for the past 14 years. I am in absolute awe...

But then you wrote more...

You turned toothpaste and whipped cream into erotic implements, but made those moments poignant instead of perverted because of his extraordinary (for him) restraint. I hope he revisits the toothpaste moment when the time is finally right. (hint, hint)

The arrival at the school is another triumph. By going into such painstaking detail about the garage, the garage for crissakes (I'll say it again, who thinks like that? I guess I should stop being amazed or surprised or whatever, since this is becoming a regular thing with you), you almost don't have to describe the mansion at all to know that it must seem like another planet to her.

And then, after setting me on pins and needles with her journey through the unknown, you zing me with one of the greatest lines ever written in the history of Logan, bar none --

...'Logan glowered until he heard the rustle of shriveling testicles.' And I laughed out loud, still managing to recognize the perfect placement of that little tension breaker -- the technique employed by all the best suspense and horror writers to deflate the pent up anxiety only so that it can be built up again.

And there was the line that had the blood freezing in my veins...

...he could see the hefty addition to his pay that this unexpected delivery had earned him.

Followed, blessedly, by the line that thawed me out...

He knew before the moment passed, that he would refuse.

...until I thought about it again and decided that only Logan was forgiven; the professor has a lot of explaining to do.

The final scene was worth every hair you lost, believe me. I, too, am intrigued, especially by Erik's presence and where that conversation was headed when Logan interrupted.

And within that section was the line that made my skin crawl and broke my heart all at once...

'She stared at the floor, unable to differentiate between an introduction and an auction. -- Oh, sweet mother of God...

If this is what late postings get us, then I say let them all be late. --Wendie






One typing oops: "due to fourteen of unceasing clamor" I'm thinking there's a 'years' missing here. Don't you hate when that happens...and then some reads-every-single-word-one-word-at-a-time bimbo comes along and points it out? Trust me, all your words are so expertly chosen that I try not to miss a single one!

Author's Response: Okay....So...you win a gold medal (engraved with Hugh Jackman's face) for Epic Reviewership. I think I mighta gained a new muscle in my arm just from fist pumping alone. Thank you for making my afternoon, and for alerting me to that typo. I would have been mortified if I found it later. Doesn't it drive you nuts when that happens?

Reviewer: searsky99 Signed star star star star star [Report This]
Date: 10/27/2010 7:11:33 AM Title: Chapter 1

Been reading this story since you started it. Was beginning to wonder if you were going to continue with it. I really like how your descriptions seem to just jump to life visually. Love the story and am looking forward to the next installment(s).

Author's Response: Awww! Sorry to make you anxious. I promise, I never stop writing a story before its finished. Thank you. That's one of the greatest things to hear.

Reviewer: bima140277 Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/27/2010 5:05:21 AM Title: Chapter 13

"--and this is my associate, Erik Lensherr."

*speechless, mouth hanging open*

Author's Response: hahaha! >gently shuts mouthe< Glad you liked that.

Reviewer: litlen Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/27/2010 2:18:15 AM Title: Chapter 13

Definitely no ramble today, gotta get to work!

‘She stared at the floor, unable to differentiate between an introduction and an auction.’ Deep and heartbreaking line. Powerful but true to how she would feel.

Have to say I was hit smack on from the left field with Eric, didn’t see that coming.....Interesting me thinks!

‘And intrigue, rather than pity, kept his eyes on her.’ Well fuck.....you really know how to end!

Bit quicker for the next instalment? impatience is a flaw but one i know we all have!

Author's Response: I'm truly sorry for the slowness. Life on the other side of this screen has been a bit crazy but I haven't forgotten my promise! Pinkie-Swear that I'm doing everything I can, and if I *don't* post, it's because I *can't*. Thanks for sticking with the chapter-reading; Im very proud/grateful. :~)

Reviewer: notmyself Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/26/2010 10:15:44 PM Title: Chapter 13

Well THAT scene took me by surprise. But it does explain a little more of Xavier's ruthlessness since he continues on happily in Magneto's presence in this arc. I think it's fabulous. Brilliant and juggling chainsaws dangerous, but wonderful just the same. I love the auction/introduction line. I even like that you used it twice, exactly the same as if to strengthen and reiterate that nothing she was hearing was making her any more comfortable or convinced. I;m not entirely sure that it wasn't a typo that landed it in the two places, but it was a wonderful play on words. Despite the lack of physical descriptives there, it was a very visual scene. Thank you.

~Mia

Author's Response: *blushes in total shame* Yeeaaah....Sadly, that was indeed a typo. My bad. Glad you liked it anyway, though! ;-D Thanks for telling me; its fixed now. >hugs< I'm super glad you enjoyed it.

Reviewer: Aoria Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/24/2010 6:53:00 PM Title: Chapter 12

That was amazing. So intense and realistic. Wow.

Author's Response: Thanks so much. I'll begin typing up the next chapter tomorrow, but it might not be posted until Tuesday. :~)

Reviewer: Aoria Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/24/2010 12:33:15 AM Title: Chapter 7

Wow.

Author's Response: Yay!

Reviewer: Aoria Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/23/2010 9:41:40 AM Title: Chapter 1

"Nothing to tell the observer that the money he brought home came from the sale of children, women, and (the reason Logan was here): mutants."

Well, THAT part just woke me up. I can already tell this is going to be a good story, if the 226+ reviews didn't hint at that. ;) Can't wait to get into it!

Author's Response: *Squee!!* So, so glad you liked that. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story. >hugs<

Reviewer: Tasa Signed star star star star half star [Report This]
Date: 10/16/2010 11:23:52 PM Title: Chapter 1

I just stumbled upon this tonight, and read it all in one go. I can't wait for more!
Great story, I really really want to know what happens next

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm so glad you feel that way. >hugs tightly<

Reviewer: Bancainte Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/13/2010 9:31:36 AM Title: Chapter 12

Um... the link doesn't work for me. Any ideas?
Ok, FB. "He didn't want the schools resident to think he couldn't take care of his own." Whoa! There's a sudden sense of pride in an unexpected place! And a timid shoot of belonging to someone, the germination of a pack.And so much amazing consideration.
I love your careful restraint in shining some low-watt light on the workings of the girl's mind.

Author's Response: It doesn't work for anyone. I screwed up the link. :~( Thank you so much. You're fantastic.

Reviewer: bima140277 Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/13/2010 8:57:08 AM Title: Chapter 12

I seen a tiny, microscopic light at the end of the tunnel.

I think things can only get better, or at least I hope so.

more please

Author's Response: <3 Thanks!!!!!

Reviewer: Silvereyes Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/12/2010 11:36:58 PM Title: Chapter 12

Awww! Loved this one! Keep 'em coming please!

Author's Response: I will, thank you!

Reviewer: Cherryblossom104 Signed star star star star star [Report This]
Date: 10/12/2010 10:35:12 PM Title: Chapter 12

Your writing has such detail and specificness that it just wraps me up in a world that I LOVE to be in! I ignore everything and everyone when I read your stories. And I am happy to do so. Keep up the great work :D

Author's Response: Thats the greatest thing to hear.Thank you so much.

Reviewer: Shuttlelauncher Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/12/2010 6:26:06 PM Title: Chapter 12

How in the world is this girl going to handle the mansion!? I can't wait to see her come out of her shell some more...thanks!

Author's Response: Haha! Super-duper-pooper-scooper thanks+a hug+caramel apples.

Reviewer: Comic-cake Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/12/2010 2:27:03 PM Title: Chapter 12

Well, what can I say? What an amazing and captivating chapter. Life is so crazy right now that I have zero time to write and little time to read and review, however this is one story I could never miss. Love it!

“Packs of nerds walking around, sweaty masks contrasting oddly with their pale necks. Should certainly grease the girl's way into the mansion.” – hahahahaha!

Author's Response: I'm so glad. Thank you+hug+big bowl of chocolate cake batter that you can cook or eat raw-I won't judge.

Reviewer: mina113er Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/12/2010 9:48:16 AM Title: Chapter 1

Every time I have an awful day, you update your story and make it better. How do you know when I need you ?
Moviemom is right, I read a lot in English and French and you're one of the most talented writers I know

Author's Response: I'm so sorry-this one fell through the review cracks. I only found it now. And what a gem it is too! Thanks a million katrillion bajillion time. You have a knack for making me hug my computer monitor.

Reviewer: Anami Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/12/2010 8:43:30 AM Title: Chapter 12

That clerk-lady description is wonderful!!!! How many times do we think "there is something VERY wrong with this, but I'm not goin' to to anything, because it's not my place"? Bravo...Again.

Author's Response: So true. Thank you+a hug+s'mores.

Reviewer: Wolverette Signed star star star star star [Report This]
Date: 10/12/2010 5:17:12 AM Title: Chapter 12

When the notification of your story came in I was busy reorganising my Farmville farm! But dropped everything in order to read the latest chapter!!
And what a chapter!! In reality, a transition of sorts, between leaving and arriving, but so full of the incredible eye for detail I have come to know you possess. Once again, I am almost moved to tears with your words.
Incidentally, it's Hugh Jackman's birthday today!! Time to celebrate!!

Author's Response: I thought it was on the 17th!!!!! >stamps foot, throws tantrum< Damnitdamnitdamnit! I was going to bake creepy little cupcakes to celebrate. >sigh< Next year. :~P Im sorry to pull you away from your farm, but I swear I'm much more grateful than the virtual horses. Thank you+a hug+cookies.

Reviewer: litlen Signed star star star star star [Report This]
Date: 10/12/2010 1:56:53 AM Title: Chapter 12

While they haven’t got far, haven’t done much, this chapter shows why you’re so good - it contains much more than many other stories contain in their entirety. I’m so glad you’re not in a rush for everything to fall in place, grateful that you’re taking you’re time to put in chapters/sections like this one with wonderful descriptions of the smallest of things –the imagery your words produces is crystal clear - It really is like watching a film in your head while you read.
Already up to number 2 on the top ten most reviewed – can’t see you being anywhere but number 1 by the time you’ve finished – That will be 2 for you in that particular list which must tell you something!

Author's Response: Would it be cheesy to say that your one of my ten most favorite people? Yeah. Yeah, your right. Too corny. Anytime I feel my ego has started to deflate, I think about that list and it swells right back up. Im so proud. Thank you for making this Monday-on-a-Tuesday great again.

Reviewer: Moviemom44 Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/12/2010 1:00:56 AM Title: Chapter 12

This whole chapter is one of the best pieces of any kind of writing in any genre in any format that I have ever had the pleasure to read. To choose particular passages to quote is almost ridiculously impossible, but I must make special note of two:

"You want to shower first, Kid?" A little boy eager to show off his card collection.

The girl looked at him, and Logan guessed she heard his words differently. But she nodded, went into the bathroom quietly and shut the door behind her. The click of a lock.


How amazing is it that he understands how she heard that? And yet, he offers no explanation or clarification. What would be the point? Neither is he angry at her supposition -- after all, he's never hurt her. He's just quietly resigned to be there for every uncomfortable moment of her recovery, however long that may be.

The other one: of a breed for whom paternity would always be an accidental, unknown state and any night passed with a young female would not be spent in platonic pursuits. This is without a doubt the most beautiful way to call someone a horny bastard that I have ever read. And the best part is that this particular young female has changed all that for Logan -- forever -- whether he really knows it or not.

Can't wait for them to get to the mansion... --Wendie

Author's Response: How do you do that? Make someone feel like the proudest, greatest person that ever sat behind a computer screen? (Though I'm actually stretched out on the couch, watching Law and Order and reading these beautiful words for about the 8th time on my psp). Anywho, thank you+a tight hug+cheesecake.

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