My main hobby is the constant and voracious consumption of pop culture. If there's a new TV show on, I'm there, waiting to see if it's going to suck me in. So far I haven't found anything to distract me from the XMM fandom for any period of time, so for now you guys are stuck with me. :)

As for actual fan fiction, I discovered it about four or five years ago, and it was totally by accident. I was clicking through some websites about Buffy the Vampire Slayer (yes, I'm another one of those X-fans who was a BtVS fan), and came across some stories. The first ones I read did not interest me that much, but as I began to visit more sites, I found some good stories that I enjoyed reading. From then on, whenever something interested me, I would automatically look for fan fic about it. I guess when I like characters, I just can't get enough of them.

I don't think much time passed between my discovery of BtVS fanfic and my first attempt to write my own. I think it was probably only a few weeks. None of those stories were ever completed, and they've never seen the light of day. My interest in writing about those characters was very brief, and when I re-read those stories, I can tell that I didn't have the same passion for them that I do for Logan and Rogue.

My first "real" fan fic was Logan/Rogue, although the first one I shared with the greater public was by no means the first I'd written about that pairing. Those won't ever see the light of day either!

I started writing my first Logan/Rogue story right after I saw the movie. (I saw the movie a week or so after it opened, and *many* times after.) One of my first thoughts as I left the theater that first time was that I wanted Logan/Rogue fanfic *now*. I wanted to read it, and I wanted to write it.

And I did plenty of both that summer and fall. It's so strange to think about that time in my life, the level of obsession I had. I would stay up nearly all night, every night, sitting in an uncomfortable chair at a too-small desk in the dreary spare bedroom, writing. If I wasn't writing, I was reading. Sometimes I read fics while I was brushing my teeth and eating my breakfast, and I was late for work so many times in those months because I often couldn't bear to leave the house until I'd finished the story I was reading.

I look back on that time fondly, when I was writing, reading, living and breathing L/R all the time. I don't know how I survived on so little sleep, though. :)

When the first L/R fics started to come out, I was thrilled, and pleasantly surprised. The quality level astounded me. I had never come across writing like that, and in such abundance, in my other fanfic wanderings. The stories were *amazing*, and there were so many of them.

The flip side was that when I saw the level of writing in the L/R pairing, I quickly lost my nerve to post any of my stories, because they just didn't compare. To this day, I'm thankful for that, because those early stories are just...ugh. I broke POV constantly, I left giant plot holes everywhere, and I had a premise or twelve that was so trite I can't even talk about it now.

On the other hand, *pieces* of those early stories are quite good, and I mine from them now and then for my more recent stories. A phrase here and there, a scene once in a while. The stories as a whole are pretty bad, but some of the parts are salvageable. *g*

Fast forward a few years later, and here I am, doing an author interview for the WRFA. I never in a million years would have imagined that.

And if you'd read those early stories, you never would have either. :)

On a more personal level, I myself am invariably drawn to older man/younger woman relationships, and I feel comfortable writing about them because that's where my life experience lies. Most of my romantic relationships have been with older men, and in some instances the age difference was more than a few years. Even with the changing (and wiser) perspective that comes with age, when I look back on those relationships, I don't feel that they were sick or wrong. I wasn't abused or screwed up, and those men weren't perverts. We just were who we were, and we connected, despite the age difference.

I have very fond memories of those relationships, and those men, so I think it's probably inevitable that I'm drawn to Logan/Rogue the way I am, and that I feel so comfortable writing about them.

Of course, I also have to mention the chemistry between the actors in the film, as that was obviously a big part of it for me. The train scene, more than any other, was the defining moment for me for those two. That was the scene that drew a visceral reaction from me, and I can still remember how my stomach fluttered in the theater when he said, "I'll take care of you." Eep.

And the way Hugh Jackman looks as Logan doesn't hurt either. *g*

Obviously, a big issue in that story is trust. The most obvious example is, of course, Rogue forcing Logan to make a choice, and having faith in him that he will choose her. Logan's issues with trust are addressed to an extent, but since it's his POV, and he's refusing to face his own feelings on the matter, a lot goes unsaid.

Logan seems to feel that his biggest problem will be in remaining physically monogamous, but that's not the whole story. That's what he focuses on, because that requires less self-analysis, and it's easy to define, but that's only a small part of his anxiety.

Logan is terribly fearful that he will let Rogue down, and lose her. He's well aware of how easy it is to hurt her or disappoint her, without even meaning to, as evidenced by their phone conversations. And that is his true fear--that he will hurt her and let her down in many small ways, and she'll eventually have had enough and walk away. He needs her very badly on an emotional level, and if she sizes him up within the confines of a relationship and finds him wanting, it would kill him.

He's paralyzed by this fear, so he just keeps doing what he's always done, but it's hurting them both to be apart, and he knows it. She forces him to see how badly it's hurting them by kicking him out, by giving him something better to compare it to, and he gets the message. Fast.

In the end, Logan decides to trust himself to do the right thing, and trust in Rogue to accept the times he doesn't. Hand in hand with that is his realization that hurting her will hurt him, that it's in his best interest to do the right thing. By the end of the story, his instinct for self-preservation, which had previously kept him away from her, has become something he can count on to keep them together.

So I think their relationship was inevitable, but they nearly missed out on it. I'm not sure either of them know how close they came to an unhappy ending, but I do. *g*

I don't keep a writing journal, but I do have several legal pads and notebooks floating around, as well as a shoebox full of napkins, receipts, post-it notes, candy wrappers, you name it--things that I grabbed and wrote on because a phrase or idea came to me.

Having a beta reader is extremely helpful, and has helped me immensely in terms of getting stories from my computer to the internet. While I still agonize and still go through a period with every story where I decide it's the most pointless thing I've ever written, I get past it much faster. *g* Having someone else look at it and say, "This works, " is a huge help.

Not that she says that about everything. *g* But it's comforting to know that she'll point things out that need fixing.

I didn't have a beta reader at first, which always bothered me, because I didn't like feeling like I was working without a net. I personally cringe whenever I see "not betaed" in the headers of fic, because that is usually not a good sign, and there I was, putting unbetaed stories up for reading.

But now I've got one, and I'm much relieved.

Those are the rare stories, though, I think. I'm a very, very slow writer. Stories get to the point where they are 99% done, and then I sit on them for weeks, or even months.

Normally, though, they go to the beta reader twice, so I guess technically I would say that's two revisions. But that first version that goes to beta is possibly something I've revised in small ways a million times.

Other times, it's to fill in the blanks in the source material, or "fix" things that I think need fixing. I think the example of this L/R readers are most familiar with is my story "Fissure." It's a post-X2 story that I wrote mainly to put my own spin on some issues I had with the sequel. (It was also inspired by someone behind me in the theater who said, "Rogue broke the plane!" Grrrr.) I came away from X2 with several story ideas, and ended up writing a happy X2 coda, and not-so-happy X2 coda. I guess I may have been a little angry with the movie, since the not-so-happy one got finished first. *g*

Sometimes other fan fics inspire me, and make me want to see what I can do with the characters in a certain setting, such as the post-MRA universe.

Honestly, it's hard to find something that doesn't give me an idea or two. I try not to give into all of them, or I'll never get anything finished.

In general I don't like to write or read angst, especially angst that doesn't fix itself and give us a happy ending. Some of the best stories I've read have been angst, and have had sad endings, and I think they are marvelous, but I rarely re-read them. It's too depressing. I get just as depressed writing the stuff, so I don't do that often, either. If Logan and Rogue don't end up happy, it just tears my heart out.

"Skin and Bones." What a horrible story that was, huh? I still can't believe I wrote that.

That's a story I'm quite pleased with, because it really worked in the ways I like my stories to work--a lot of layers and a lot of symbolism, fitting together so well that people respond positively even if they aren't consciously thinking about why the story feels the way it does.

The honey metaphor was perfect for that story. Honey takes a lot of work and lot of patience, which is where the word "devotion" comes in--but it's also a natural and instinctive process, and I wanted the Logan/Rogue relationship to reflect that. I wanted it to be a cooperative effort, the result of which is almost magical.

Little Miss Ladybug is my favorite part of that story. Nearly everyone who sent feedback on that story mentioned her, so I guess I'm not her only fan. The care and respect Logan exhibits in his treatment of the ladybug are a mirror image of the way he treats--and will continue to treat--Rogue. And both Logan and Rogue know that he's doing it because he wants to, not because he has to, in the case of both Rogue *and* the ladybug.

A lot of readers commented on the part of the story where Logan pretends he's going to flick her away, and makes sure that Marie sees him about to do it. That little game they play is a wonderful example of the fun they have together and how well they understand each other.

This is one story I really enjoyed writing, and I'm quite proud of it.

The similarities between the story and the poem and the way it fit the mood of the story ("I'll see you in a million years") was so perfect. In my mind, I had imagined Logan always visiting her grave at night, and the image of him there at her grave with those three things--"the moon, the timberline and you"--for years to come, was exactly what I'd had in mind.

It was really uncanny, and I still can't believe how I lucked out there.

I was a little disappointed with the sequel, and not just from a L/R 'shipper POV. (The fact that I write L/R doesn't mean I can't recognize weak storytelling when I see it, and I was disappointed with the storytelling. The story was too big to fit into two hours of screentime, and too many crucial scenes hinged on things that were not supported properly early on.) So I took that anger and gave it to Rogue. *g*

Actually, I gave it to her via herself, but also through the other people she's absorbed. I sat down and thought about each of the people she's touched, what their influence might be, and how they would react to the events of the movie. It was a lot to think about, because in writing that Rogue, I was also writing several other characters at the same time. I used the mental image of spokes on a wheel, which is a phrase I also used in the story.

The physical structure of the story itself also resembles a wheel, and the reader follows the spokes inward as it progresses. We move from the outside to the inside both in terms of Rogue's mutation--from her skin and how she's discovered that not all absorbtions are the same--and in a chronological sense--it begins with her thoughts on past events, and ends in the present, when Logan arrives at her room.

Logan's appearance at the end of the story coincides with Rogue's mental journey thus far, and is also very symbolic in that he's the axis, he's the center of all things, for her. That scene is the center of the wheel, as the story comes full circle (no pun intended) with Logan's arrival in her room. He is the beginning and the end--he's the first mutant she absorbed, and she's the one she intends to "practice" on. This closes the circle both in the literal sense of the timeline (harking back to X1) but also in the context of the story itself, as her thoughts on touching him to hone her powers are the emotional punch of the first section of the story.

So, the L/R relationship is, in this story, the beginning, the end, and the center. The reader moves both through time and through Rogue's thoughts to reach the actual center of the story, in which we finally see Logan and Rogue interact.

And at the point that the story leaves off, Logan has just begun the mental portion of that same journey. He's found himself in the middle in the physical sense, but he's stumbled there, and he's not yet fully aware of his place in the circle.

It's all about the wheel and the spokes. And that was how I wrote it.

I don't know how I keep them straigh, but I always seem to have a running tally in my head of what stories I've got in the works, and what their status is at the moment. In addition, my beta reader regularly interrogates me by listing all the fics I've got in progress and asking what I've done with them lately. She's a real slave driver. :)

I find that the best way to finish a story is to try to work on a different story. *g*!

I *thought* that posting would force me to work on them, and instead it's done the opposite. Failed experiment. I've frozen like a deer in the headlights.

The storylines themselves for my two WsIP have not changed, as they are basically done, in terms of the big events. One of my big failings in my early writing was the "hopping from scene to scene" approach I had to writing. I've got all these things that are going to happen, and they need to be strung together. And the stringing is hard.

I've really forced myself to not do that anymore, to write in a linear fashion, to not jump ahead. Which has been difficult, but at least now the stories that are stalled are stalled at a specific point, rather than missing chunks here and there. It's a much more comfortable stall.

The main problem I find with the WsIP is that if I'm away from them too long, it's sometimes hard to get the same voice back. I usually have to go back and read the story up until the point I'm working on, to get the feel for those characters again. Unfortunately, sometimes by the time I'm done doing that, my writing time is over.

I think the key to this is to not stray too far from the core character, and not change too many things at once. It's sort of like a role playing game, where you create character and you decide what traits to give him, and to what degree. By using the traits Logan exhibits in the movie (he's gruff, wary, and outspoken, for instance), and taking each one up or down a notch or two, I can change the character slightly without butchering him completely. He's still recognizable as Logan, because the core of his personality is still there; it's just reflecting different qualities in different measures.

Sometimes a particular personality trait is written a certain way due to circumstances I've set up in the story. In "Temptation Bound," Rogue is a little younger than she was in the movie, so she's got a little more innocence and youth worked into her character. Like her movie counterpart, she's been through some things that have hardened and scarred her, but they happened before she met Logan.

In both cases, though, she's decided that she wants him to help her. In both cases, she deceives him at first, in order to get his assistance, and it makes him angry. In both cases, he does decide to help her anyway, and once he decides to do it, not much is going to stop him from following through.

I really enjoy that kind of thing, teasing different quirks and traits out of them, because I think it keeps things interesting, both for me and the readers. The key is to find the middle ground between making characters real and complicated, and writing them completely out of character. Finding parallels between the movie and the story is a safe way to go, in most cases.

"DOD" is a big departure from my other stories, because it's post-MRA *and* and it's an AU--Logan and Rogue don't meet each other until after the Mutant Registration Act has been passed and the X-Men are in hiding. All bets are off, so to speak.

The main difference in terms of characters is that Rogue is older than she was when they met in the first movie, and she's a little jumpier about her mutation than I usually write her. This Rogue definitely influenced the Logan character's development, because after she turned out the way she did, Logan kind of evolved around her. Her age gives him more freedom, but her fears about her mutation are causing him a bit of frustration. This Logan is quite blunt and fearless, and it's a shock to him to discover that the fact that he is not afraid for himself means very little. He's going to have to learn to be careful on her behalf, and that's a challenge.

As for the X-Men in general, it's been interesting to play with a team that's been beaten and driven into hiding. They don't have the endless cash supply and the fancy gadgets anymore. It's the loss of so many of their teammates and friends that's turning out to be the harshest blow, though. It is what will most likely defeat them in the end.

Unfortunately, I can't really discuss this story much more without giving away a major plot point. :)

I couldn't have been happier with my assignment. When I saw that my person to remix was Victoria P., I was really excited to get started on it.

Okay, that's not entirely true. I had a moment of "ohmygodhowamIgoingtodo this?" too, because I've read and enjoyed her stories for years, and I did worry that I would fail horribly and it would be a rotten story and people would think I was insane for even attempting to touch one of her fics.

In choosing a story to remix, my first thought was that I wanted to take a Rogue POV story and tell it from Logan's POV, because he's the character I feel most comfortable writing. Right away, that eliminated all the stories that were already Logan POV. PWPs were not to be included, so those were out. I considered tackling one of the stories with alternating PsOV, and writing each scene from the *other* character's POV, but that didn't appeal to me much, because in stories of that type, the reader already knows both sides of the story. Which left me with, unfortunately, "The Best-Laid Plans," and the only reason I say "unfortunately" is because that sucker is *long*.

Writing on a deadline was also a challenge for me, as you can imagine. (And I did end up being two weeks late with my story. But in the realm of Ransom fics, that was *nothing* LOL.) I'm a very slow writer. I bet you guys didn't know that. It's true. *g* The thought of having to complete a story by a specific date, and a date that was only a few months in the future, was terrifying. Picking such a long story to remix only added to the terror.

Of course, I had one huge advantage, in that I already knew exactly what was going to happen in the story. That was obviously a major help. :)

As for the story in general, I loved working on it, and it flowed very easily. I had fun changing things to suit Logan's own (admittedly biased) POV, and he amused me greatly with just how deluded he was about some things. He sort of glossed over some of the more unflattering things he said and did in the course of Victoria's version. *g* I also felt like I had a lot more freedom with that story, because someone had already told Rogue's side of it. It really was a great feeling, to not have to worry about that. It was nice to write with an unreliable narrator and know that people would not mistake it for lazy writing.

One person said, in her comments on the story, that I made Logan more of a sympathetic character with my version, and that he doesn't seem like such jerk once you see his side of the story. That made me feel pretty good.

I got a lot of feedback for that story, and I think a lot of people read it who normally would not have because it *was* a remix of Victoria's story. The fact that it was related to such a popular story really gave it a boost, and I was pleased with the reaction it got. Not only did people praise the story itself, but they had great things to say about how I made it fit in with the original. And many of them, like I was, were very amused by just how deluded he was about some things LOL.

By participating in the Remix/Redux, I also had one of my stories remixed. Jengrrrl remixed "Skin and Bones," and did a wonderful job. It's just as dark, if not darker than, my version, but in a different way, and I really enjoyed seeing her take on that situation. She did a great job, and it was really great to see someone work off a premise I'd come up with.

So in both respects, remixing and being remixed, it was a great experience.

At the same time, the more stories I write, the more I feel like I need to come up with different things, different situations. I think I'm harder on myself, and more determined not to fall into ruts or write stuff that's too predictable. I think story ideas through more before I start on them, and the writing is a lot slower because I'm more careful. I don't just sit down and go, "Wouldn't it be cool if?" and bang out a story, whether it's in character or not. I think about motivations and personalities and who knows what and when. I do more thinking and less writing. And I'll tell ya, it's certainly slowed me down, actually having standards. Hee.

"Unfinished" is a flexible term for me, though. I've got some unfinished stories I've posted in my journal because I know I will never finish them, but I think they have some good parts, or I wanted to share and poke fun at how badly I mangled some things LOL.

But some of my unfinished stories have drawn a lot of comments, and people have expressed interest in seeing them finished, which I find helpful. They get moved back to the actively unfinished category, rather than abandoned, because I feel like it's worth the effort. That's not always the case, though. Sometimes people do agree with me that the story was a bad idea. *g*

In answering this question, I checked out the dates some of my fic files were last modified, and they go all the way back to November of 2000. Two and a half years since I worked on that story. Sheesh.

As for the downside...well, I'm an incredibly disorganized writer, and I completely lack the ability to write stories in a linear fashion. In the past I let myself jump ahead and write things I knew were going to happen, without actually getting the characters to that place first, and that's a very bad way to write a story. I end up with scenes, some more fleshed out than others, that I need to connect in some way, string together to form a cohesive story. And I find that very difficult to do.

I've been forcing myself to be more disciplined and not do that. I make myself write the characters into that place, rather than skipping ahead to it, and that helps.

I also hate it when I post a story and then find a typo!

Also, I don't particularly like posting my stories to lists for one reason--they always look yucky. My formatting comes out all weird, no matter how many of the tricks I try, such as setting line width and such. And it bothers me that they get messed up. I hate that.

Getting back on topic, I've found, though, that it's really best for me to keep my online involvement limited. If I don't, I get on the computer with the intention of working on a story, get online to check my email, start clicking around, and the next thing I know it's time for me to get off the computer and I haven't written a single word. (LiveJournal is particularly dangerous that way.) So as much as I like the online community, I try not to hop into too many discussions or post on many lists and message boards. I'm a slow enough writer as it is, I don't need any more distractions.

As for feedback, what writer doesn't love it? As far as what effect it has on my stories, it's certainly made me more confident about sharing my stories. I sometimes think, though, that I get a little too. . .enthusiastic about responding to feedback. *g* If someone gives me the right opening, I'll ramble on forever about how and why something happened and what my thought process was. (Which might be obvious from the length of my responses to some of these questions.) Particularly with WsIP, I welcome the chance to expound on the stories, because it sometimes helps me to solidify my motivations and goals for the stories.

If I didn't have an audience, I'd still write. I did write for years, after all, without one. But I would miss it, I know that. I like knowing that I've provided someone with a few minutes of enjoyment, because I know how much I enjoy the stories I've read. I like being able to provide that for someone else.

I don't think other Logan characterizations have that much influence on me, as I think I've got my interpretation of him hard-wired at this point. When I go back and look at my early stories (written before most of the fanon existed) in comparison to the ones I'm writing now, the basic characterization is the same.

When I write him, I have a baseline characterization that I use, and in one story to the next he moves around a little, but never strays that far from it. He may be more gruff, he may be more sentimental, he may be more playful, he may be more dangerous, but he's never too far from that core Logan characterization. If he is, it's me experimenting.

One story, "The Lab" by Ramos, did influence me, in that it gave me some ideas for my own Lab!Logan stories. I haven't actually finished any of those stories, but the inspiration was there. I like playing with how he gets from that state to how he is when we see him in the movies, and find it very interesting.

One piece of fanon I do find amusing is that Logan calls Scott "Scooter." That makes me giggle every time, but I don't think I've ever used it myself.

But overall, I think the most important thing for me is the foyer scene. That was amazing: the way she hears the motorcycle and runs to greet him, the hug, the way they joke with each other. The thing I like best about it, though, is the look on his face. That smile. He's got his smile he's trying to repress, but he can't keep it in. He's *happy*. He doesn't look like that when Jean shows up. He looks tense, and intense, but not happy.

I think that says a lot about the difference between the two women, and their places in his life. Even from a non-shipper point-of-view, it's plain that Rogue holds a special place in his life, and he interacts with her in a way that he doesn't with the others.

We don't see Logan smile much in either movie, but when Rogue greets him in the foyer, he's happy. And I love that.

Ransom's version:

Logan: (to Scott) "I'm sorry about Jean."
Scott: "Thanks."
Logan: "I'm gonna go jump on Rogue now."
Scott: "Okay. See you later."

As for sneak peeks, it's possible that most people have seen this by now, because I posted it last December, but there's a sneak peek of my AU story about a Cowboy!Logan in my LiveJournal. You can find it here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/lilmissrrhood/5554.html